my king of nope


kandikid55  asked:

A show has never made me cry as much as spn did last night. I NEED MY KING BACK!!!

What do you mean back? He’s not gone… Nope. Not at all. He pulled a Gabriel and his in his very own witness protection program.

Nothing a miss here. :) *smiles through the denial*

I feel you though… 

Stupid Questions: Zeus Edition

So finally back. Some of the most stupid questions I’ve gotten about Zeus.

“Isn’t he like….. a rapist?”

Umm possily? Maybe? I mean have you been on the other parts of tumblr? Apparently all men are. But really. No. None of his myths right out say he forced it upon anyone just that he seduced them. Meaning in the end they approved first. And I’ve seen more times then not him asking. In my interactions with him his never been…. to horrible with his lusts. He just really likes sex.

“Why do you talk so highly of him? Not like he’s important.”

Nope. King of my gods isn’t important at all. I talk so highly of him because I respect him more than most people. He’s my king and the father to two of my patrons. He’s a good man who works hard for his people and always tries his best to do the right things. He’s got a temper and a sex drive that’s a bit out of control but he never means bad. So why wouldn’t I respect him?

“He’s got like a million kids right? Does he eat them like his dad did?”

Nope. Not one Zeus baby has been eaten. He actually adores his children. Spoils them all if they let him.

“Can you hook me up with him?”

Really I don’t see the interest in fucking him, but either way no. Not gonna even attempt it. 

“If you talk to them ask how big his dick is… please?”

Once again no. Please gods no. I don’t want to know that shit. It’s bad enough I do know some. I don’t want to know but I do. And dicks are kinda gross. I mean. ALL privates are gross. But other people’s especially so I will not be asking any god their size. Thank you for your interest though.

Ves internally probably: totally not the bastard of our dead king. Nope.

[sometime later]

Guard #1: Spice merchant my ass.
Guard #2: I don’t think that was a little boy…
Guard #1: And the “wife” had an… interesting tattoo on her bosom.
Guard #2: and a sword at her hip. The bloke had two swords and a mace. At least their papers were in order so’s we didn’t have to stop ‘em.
Guard #1: yea, you’re right. Let some sorry chum down the road deal with them.

Did this because I read Barbering Duties by ravengalespencer where Roche cuts Anais’ hair for both convenience and disguise. My brain leapt to him having her also pretend she’s a boy. And then my brain leapt even further to them all pretending to be a traveling family.

But given roche’s previous choice of false name I don’t imagine them being too terribly good at it lol.

“No, you can’t use the emperor of nilfgaard’s name, wtf captain. That’s only funny to you and is terribly obvious.”
“We need to get you a shirt that actually closes in front - or at the very least covers all your tattoos - how many merchant’s wives have lily, bone, and steel tattoos?”
“Don’t care. And I’m carrying my weapons.”
“Of course you are. If our guises are going to be this shoddy we’d better both be armed.”

My King

Pairings: reader x Peter Pan
Warnings: lots of fluff Requested: nope, was just bored. I awoke to the sun shining through the curtains , I groaned as I did my morning stretch I smiled when I felt a pare of muscular arms wrap around my waist pull me closer to the body they belonged to . I giggled as I turned around “morning Peter” he lifted his head to kiss me “ good morning love” he smiled as I looked into his green eyes that still had the weird daze from sleep in them, “ we need to get up or the lost boys will have a panic attack not knowing what to do with out there master” Peter chuckled “your right love” he pecked me on the lips once more before he swiftly stood from the bed “I will take the boys to hunt for breakfast you stay here and I will bring you some breakfast in bed y/n” I giggled “how lucky I must be to get special treatment from the infamous Peter Pan” he smiled “lucky indeed” once Peter had left the tent I slowly drifted off to sleep , “y/n..?” “Y/n wake up breakfast is ready” I groaned as I slowly sat up “what is it?” Peter sat the tray down infront of me, “it’s wild boar your favourite” I smiled as the wonderful scent filled my nose . I ate all of the food Peter had provided me with “do you need anything else y/n?” You slowly lay back down on the bed “yes there is one thing Peter ” he walked over and sat on the end of the bed “what is it love?” I smiled “ will you cuddle with me?” He laughed and got into the bed beside me as I rolled over and cuddled into his chest “ I love you Peter ” I heard his heart speed up in his chest “I love you too y/n” I smiled as I once again drifted of to sleep.

mllx-anazra  asked:

Black Panther launches the day of my birthday, I feel so blessed rn. My friends will probably enthusiastically drag me to a bar or a restaurant to celebrate and I'll be like 'ahah nope, won't do, my king is calling me' and ducking sprint to the nearest theater


merlin mini-series 1998: in short
  • merlin: mab wont get off my case and i cant be with nimue so i think imma just try to pick a good king
  • king vortigern: nope you're gonna be my wizard bitch
  • merlin: nope im gonna kill you and then help your enemy become king
  • king uther: whoops sorry i slipped and my penis fell into that dude's wife
  • merlin: oh well then at least your son will be a boss-ass king
  • king arthur: im super endearing but aw shit i just slept with my half sis and now she is giving birth to mordred
  • queen mab: hah merlin suck on that
  • merlin: aw shit aw shit aw shit arthur you dick
  • mordred: sup bitches i just grew up real quick and am here to fuck shit up
  • king arthur: the fuck are you doing here
  • mordred: haha daddy ha HA
  • king arthur: *dies*
  • merlin: wtf
  • mordred: *dies*
  • merlin: oh thank god
  • merlin: no im going to live in a cave fuck you guys