my kind of AU


hiccup is the hottest girl
(Purely ‘cause this scene from Teen Wolf is my favourite hahaAha0ahaha)

• jily get paired up to raise one of those lil fake babies (and of course there are more boys to girls in the class and remus and sirius get paired up (and their baby probably ends up dead or dying by the time eight weeks are over))

• james and lily who aren’t really friends but are far from enemies. they kind of just exist, with small acknowledgements of each other but nothing much

• james hangs out with the rest of the marauders and lily sticks to mary and marlene and frank and alice although the latter two seem to be gone most of the time

• so they’re in health class one day and the teacher assigns them as partners and james is pretty happy (i mean I would be too if i were working with lily evans for an entire eight weeks)

• turns out that there are uneven numbers in the class and remus and sirius end up being paired up (their baby dies within a week because sirius leaves it on top of the urinal and forgets it)

• they decide that lily has it during the day and james has it at night, and they swap every week

• james and lily spend a lot of time together because of the baby (there’s a lot of midnight phone calls, mostly because they’re both v spiteful and in a ‘if I’m not getting a good night’s sleep, I will make sure that you’re not either even if we only live two doors down from each other’ kind of mindset)

• so there’s lots of afternoons in the dog park where they do their homework with the baby (which james christened ‘elvendork’ after james realised that the baby had no genitals.

• “you can’t just say that the baby is a girl or a boy, so to be safe lets name it elevndork because its a highly commendable name and also–unisex

• (the only thing the baby really had were unnervingly green eyes))

• “kind of like you, evans”

• they they go the the dog park with elvendork straight after school a lot and they’re in uniform and they get more than one dirty look from a member of the public who doesn’t realise that the baby isn’t real

• they’re kind of relaxed about it, james goes to lily’s house and they kind of just toss the baby at each other while eating and chatting

• james insists that he show lily that he is very capable of doing push ups with elvendork on his back. shirtless, of course

• lily just rolls her eyes

• they don’t go to james’s house (despite mrs potter doting on james, lily, and elvendork) because sirius lives with james and like hell they’re going to let sirius in a house with two of these things, like ffs who let him have one in the first place

• remus doesn’t really care for his baby either. he’s kind of ‘eh’ about the whole situation and he ends up rigging it so that it screams whenever elvendork comes within two metres of it (james is not impressed)

• (there’s probably one point in which james and lily almost kiss but elvendork starts crying and ruins the mood) (they don’t talk about this certain moment again)

• eventually eight weeks is up and they hand in their baby and get a surprisingly good mark

• remus and sirius hand theirs in but remus has fiddled with it again so all it does is swear in german

• james realises that he likes lily and catches up with her before the day ends

• “hey evans, even though elvendork is gone I thought that you might want to go to the dog park after school to do some homework?”

• and naturally, lily says yes

anonymous asked:

Prompt (if your looking for them): Oliver helps Felicity find her g-spot/have first orgasm.

You’re the Only (Olicity, High School AU, Explicit)

They were supposed to be studying. That was why she’d come over, because studying was important, and her boyfriend needed all the help he could get. Alright, no, not really, he was one of the smartest people she’d ever met, but he was really bad at applying said smarts to anything related to a passing grade.

The night had started out with good intentions: she’d come over for dinner with the Queens, like she normally did whenever she was over, and they had gone into the library to study. That had lasted about half an hour before Oliver’s wandering fingers were distracting enough for her to forget that there was a math textbook in front of them. Soft kisses over her shoulder and neck had turned into demanding kisses that left her fingers tingling.

They’d been interrupted by the sound of a clearing throat and she’d shoved Oliver back so hard and fast that he’d nearly fallen off his seat.

“We’re heading out to the benefit gala,” Robert said from the entrance of the library, his eyes filled with amusement. “I told your mother that Felicity was heading home now.”

“Oh, right,” Felicity said, gathering her books. “I’ll just be… I’ll go.”

Robert’s only response was to pinch his lips to keep from smiling again before he turned, his loud voice carrying throughout the foyer as he greeted his wife, and then the fanfare of getting her wrap on, the driver announcing the car was ready… and then they left.

“We didn’t get much studying done…” Felicity started as she tucked her books back into her bag. Oliver stopped her when she was about to zip it up, his hand covering hers, his arm wrapping around her hip, pulling her closer, tucking his face into the crook of her neck. “Oliver… I have to go.”

“No, you really don’t,” Oliver had replied, his voice muffled, the start of stubble on his chin and cheeks scratching at her. “They’ll be gone for hours.”

“Your mother thinks I’m going home,” Felicity hissed, and Oliver chuckled.

“Yes, she thinks you are.”

And now here they were, lying on his bed, watching Mission Impossible on his impossibly large television, their hands doing much more than was appropriate for an action film.

Keep reading

requested by an anon

your first date with Calum would be so cute because knowing the little shit that he is he would probably take you out to dinner at this nice place to show off, opening the door for you and pulling your seat out for you but that all changes after you both have been settled down and ordered your drinks, the two of you talking about your lives and families and friends and who you think he would get along with and who he wouldn’t, which makes his sassy side come out and he starts playfully going off on how he’s so great and he can make your family fall in love with him within seconds which makes you laugh because he’s such a cutie and you’ve never seen him so open and out there and you two draw a little attention but the night goes on like that, the to of you talking about anything and everything, Calum making you laugh until you get shushed by the other tables around you and it all leads up to him walking you to your front door and telling you how much fun he had with you and how he wants to do it again and again until he explodes and when he gives you a hug instead of a kiss and you look at him confused he just chuckles and pecks your cheek, walking back to his car as he waves letting the words slip past his lips, “I don’t kiss on the first date love,” right before he hops in his car and drives away, leaving you with red cheeks and fumbling hands as you struggle to get into your home. 


Awhile back you brought up the idea that Art School Bog would probably have to go to the dentist because of grinding his teeth. Today I spent a great deal of time thinking of doped up Bog being driven home by Marianne.

Just imagine, it’s not the first time he’s had work on his teeth done so the oral surgeon knows him. When Marianne shows up she finds the doctor and nurses huddled outside the recovery room because Bog is singing while he comes out of sedation. And the staff knows he does this, but have never told him because they like listening to him.

Imagine Marianne getting Bog something to eat on the way home and he makes the mistake of trying to use a straw. My brother had his wisdom teeth out and found trying to drink a milkshake through a straw is extremely painful. So he gets a spoon but he can’t feel his face so he’s got milkshake all over himself and is just “what?” when Marianne is obviously trying not to laugh.

Imagine Bog staring at Marianne, blurry and uncertain of where he is, and saying random things like, “wow, your hair is pretty.” And Marianne doesn’t know whether to blush or laugh and is having trouble driving straight.

She gets him home, he falls asleep and when he wakes up he remembers nothing. Marianne refuses to tell him what he did, only saying she’ll bring it up if she ever needs blackmail material.

bechloe fic rec masterpost

as promised, here is a more detailed masterpost of my bechloe fic recs! some of these are nsfw so make sure to check the rating. this isn’t by any means complete, so I’ll be adding more every now and then but for now:

and you should also read literally everything by these users:

these are of course just my personal favorites, so please feel free to give me fic recs of your own:)

servantofclio replied to your post “RE: My desire for a bed & breakfast AU - I HAVE FOUR GOOD IDEAS FOR…”

I think you should tell us all what these ideas are.

I feel like all that’s going to happen now is enabling, but since you asked…

Hawke inherits this landmark estate when her mother dies, and the entire town is worried that the hotel developer that’s been buying up property in the area will swoop in and try to buy it off her.  She’s not a local and they’re not really sure what she’s about, but Anders, the local doctor-turned-eco-preservationist launches a campaign to convince her of how the town (and her own family heritage) is worth preserving.

Alternately, Hawke has run a B&B for years, and the place has this amazing reputation for people staying there falling in love.  Hawke and Isabela are unabashed matchmakers and the real secret behind the success of the place, and a ton of people get hooked up over the course of the story, ending with Hawke and Isabela realizing that their partnership works way too well for it not to be love.

Or Cullen (I’M SORRY I SHIP IT NOW) is freshly released from military service overseas, and is really struggling with PTSD and relearning how to function in a civilian society. Hawke runs a bed and breakfast near his hometown, and Carver, a fellow soldier, recommends he go and stay with his sister for a while so Cullen can get back in the right headspace to go home and see his family for the first time in ages.  Cue lots of hurt/comfort and adorable domestic scenes.

And then there was some kind of thing where Hawke’s family runs a B&B on a vineyard that’s really popular for weddings, and Fenris is a photographer who’s staying there so he can get a bunch of shots for some kind of magazine story thing he’s doing, and somehow ends up getting roped into photographing this huge random wedding that is happening there last minute (like someone’s spoiled rich kid daughter is all I HAVE TO HAVE THIS and everyone is scrambling to make it happen). Lots of ridiculous wedding antics and probably people hooking up in closets *cough bettydice cough*

Bonus scenario (paging hallianna):  Varric is a romance novelist who decides to take a stay-cation at Hawke’s B&B to work on a new series, and he’s there so long that he and Hawke become friends. Hawke has kind of given up on the whole idea of romance and passionate love affairs and all that, so Varric spends every night reading her what he’s written that day over a glass of wine, and eventually it becomes clear that he’s writing a story about himself and her because he’s fallen in love.

Somebody take this away from me.


Stargate Atlantis 5x19 - “Vegas”

Fish in a pond, busy busy, lots to do, here and there. Dry as a desert outside, no place to go. Eat up, get stronger, think and hope, think and hope. Don’t look now! Oh, keep dreaming. There must be some other reason for your existence. Defiance tastes like life itself. No river. No water. Dry as a desert. Dirt is all around. The harvest moon is rising. Wraith are never-ending. I know the future. Come inside. I’ll show you your destiny … John Sheppard.

anonymous asked:

Han/Leia AU where Anakin didn't turn evil, so meet the parents becomes more like meet all the Jedi council members and powerful senators I grew up calling Aunt and Uncle.

i don’t think i even tried to make it three this time

Her hand on his arm as she guides him towards the door is reassuring, if only barely, and he tries to let his shoulders relax as her slim fingers squeeze his bicep (and she’s smiling, that tiny little smile like she knows exactly why he’s so nervous and she’s enjoying it immensely but doesn’t want to say so out loud because that would just be low -)

“Relax,” she murmurs, feet falling into step besides his despite her shorter stature, hip bumping up against his thigh, “you know Dad already loves you, right? And Mom and Luke can control everyone else before they get too crazy.”

Her eyes are sparkling bigandbrown and he makes a face and rolls his eyes, bumping her hip right back and stopping right outside the keypad to the door: “Yeah, yeah. And the fact that there are multiple lightsabers in the room means what?”

Her laugh is swallowed by the door swooshing open and her brother beaming, blond mop of hair and half undone flightsuit and all and did you seriously just get back from the sims now, Kid? tackling him in a hug, and maybe his nerves are a little irrational and this is kriffin’ ridiculous because it’s Leia and her family, immediate family, is hardly frightening, he thinks, but when she winks and whispers “don’t worry, I’ll make sure no one cuts off anything important,” he can’t help the tiny downward swoop somewhere in the lower regions of his midriff. 

“Oh Han, dear, everyone’s so excited to meet you!” 

(And he thinks, oh, sith, even as Luke snickers at him from behind his mother’s shoulder, mouthing good luck and throwing him a mock salute.)

(Leia squeezes his bicep again and he tries to breathe normally.)

(Oh, sith.)