Rogue One drunk headcanons
Chirrut: asks random rebels to hit him as hard as they can, go ahead, he can take it. eventually evolves into “throw random shit at me and watch me deflect it with my staff”. would evolve into “try to shoot me and watch me dodge” if Baze didn’t intervene. makes even more blind jokes than usual (they’re bad).
Baze: drinking competitions. once outdrank everyone on echo base, including a couple of aliens who were twice his size. gets emotional and calls everyone little brother/sister. eventually has to throw Chirrut over his shoulder and carry him away from the party.
Cassian: the mom friend until he himself gets too drunk. scolds his drunk friends and curses a lot in spanish. once got tearful and told K-2SO it was his best friend. “you wanna know what’s really shitty about the Empire? you wanna know what the really, really shitty thing is?”, never finishes the thought.
Bodhi: talks non-stop in a near-incomprehensible slur, goes from happy drunk to sad drunk and back to happy drunk in the span of one minute. must be kept out of the hangar at all costs or he will try to steal an x-wing (this job usually falls to Cassian).
Jyn: thinks she can outdrink everyone. cannot, in fact, outdrink anyone. extreme lightweight. will try to start fights with everyone in sight. once challenged Luke Skywalker to a duel (he declined). passes out two hours into the party, has to be carried out.
K-2SO: is a droid