my jokes are bad and i should feel bad

ninjahufflepuff  asked:

Any headcanons about the paladins watching movies/tv together?

Oh man yeah, let’s go!

- Hunk actually hates competitive cooking shows. He doesn’t mind the lifestyle, little old lady “let me show you how to perfect a crust” kind of cooking shows, but things like masterchef? My Kitchen Rules? Top Chef? He hates them with a fiery passion. 

- As a joke, Lance will put leave Masterchef on, to which Hunk will exclaim “I refuse to give any ratings to these hacks.”

- Hunk and Shiro watch the Great British Bake Off together. “This is wholesome” Shiro often repeats. Hunk feels genuinely bad when someone’s soufflé doesn’t rise. 

- Everyone is really bad with horror movies… except for Pidge and Allura. Pidge finds them hilarious, especially when she watches them with the others. Allura just finds them confusing.

- “Why should I be afraid of this tiny man on a tricycle?” - Allura at some point

- Lance finds out that Keith has seen like… nothing?? So he’s taken a very intense interest in his film education. Imagine him singing “I can show you the woooooorld” as he pops in DVDs

- Lance and Keith love the Rush Hour movies. 

- Everyone loves cartoons. Every single one of them. 

- SHIRO LOVES SPACE JAM AND NO ONE CAN SPEAK A WORD AGAINST IT

- “C’mon and slam!” Shiro throws Keith into a wall. 

- Coran, like all good Uncles, becomes addicted to the History Channel. He finds earth history fascinating… but also horrifying. He wonders if humans have maybe been left alone for a reason.

- No one likes Game of Thrones. 

- “Yeah we watched it for a while, but then just ehhhhhhhhhhh…” - Lance and Hunk about their non-existent Game of Thrones nights.

- Lance introduces Allura to musicals and she adores them. It becomes their thing. But not like… not like fun, quirky, modern musicals. No, no, no tongue in cheek Book of Mormon, Heathers or Rent stuff here. Like old school stuff that Lance’s mum loved. Sound of Music, West Side Story, Gypsy, Hello Dolly, Carousel…

- Allura and Coran find Star Wars tacky and hilarious.

- Pidge has ween Wall-e 23 times

anonymous asked:

I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!! AND ITS YOUR FAULT!!!!!

may I ask why though? What did I ever do to you anon until you start making jokes like that? 😮 I don’t even know you and you expect that I should feel bad and sorry? You should be the one who’s supposed to be sorry for making that “suicidal thoughts” joke. because i have a friend who commited suicide buhfore and it just makes my friend’s death looks like a joke. so pls never make jokes about killing yourself if your physical body is not even ready to face death yet.

And My attitude towards people comes first especially to the internet, I tried my best not to make people have a bad mushroom day nor a bad first impression.

So if this ask just to get my attention, and just another way of you saying “hi” then, how are you buddy? Hope you will have a jar of cookies and a glass of milk by the end of the day. ❤ have fun and pls take care anon. I mean it.

So after debating this whole Lapis issue with @cmoontoon​ something suddenly occurred to me.

A lot of people on tumblr love Lapis, because they relate to her.
Because she’s passive, cynical, unapologetic and apathetic.

But especially the PASSIVE part. She feels bad and she doesn’t really do anything about it. Every time we see her, she doesn’t try to have fun, she looks like she feels forced to do anything.

And because this is tumblr and people genuinely believe that they don’t need to improve, but the world should instead cater to their insecurities and issues, they relate to her and think she’s “GOOD REPRESENTATION”.
I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if, should Lapis overcome this behaviour and grow as a person, half of her fans would complain about it, scream about erasure or something like that.

Compare this love for Lapis to me and my love for Papyrus;
Papyrus is better than me in every way.
I couldn’t relate to him at all, BUT I WANTED TO
I wanted to because by god I WANTED TO BE THIS HOPEFUL.
SO I DECIDED I WILL TRY TO BE!
SO I GREW AS A PERSON TO BE ABLE TO RELATE TO HIM BETTER.

I am a person suffering from social anxiety and another crippling mental disorder I don’t wish to mention, BUT I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM OF IT.

I was inspired by a character I couldn’t relate to, to try to relate to him better.
I gained a positive attitude unlike ANYTHING I’VE EVER FELT BEFORE, my mental health improved, my art improved,  my life improved.

This brings me to something that really bothers me about the typical millennial self-depreciating humour - it normalises a passive, negative behaviour, and that is genuinely bad for you. Repeating those jokes and constantly being exposed to them solidifies your belief that they are relatable. They shouldn’t be.

Don’t be okay with finding a character you relate to in your bad state of mind and feel content with them staying that way. You should find a character who improved and you should strive to relate to that, because if you won’t help yourself, no one else will be able to either.

NO MEDICATION AND NO PSYCHIATRIST WILL HELP YOU IF YOU WON’T START THE RECOVERY YOURSELF.

The great thing about the human mind is, that you can trick it.
You can fake it till you make it. You can admire a fictional character and strive to be more like them if that’s what helps you recover.

But, you can also trick your mind into negativity.
When you keep telling yourself you can’t do it, you won’t do it.
When you keep telling yourself you’re worthless and no one likes you, you, with your own attitude, will make this happen. Don’t make this happen.

I am not simply quoting Undertale when I say you need to stay determined.
Find a reason to stay positive, and stubbornly stick to it.


PS - This is a well meaning message from a recovering mentally ill person.
I would kindly ask people to avoid discourse on this post, as it’s very stressful for me to deal with, and triggers my anxiety. 

It’s not meant to attack Lapis fans, it’s simply a response to something I’ve been seeing a lot of lately, especially with the recent episode. I wanted to get it off my chest, in hopes that it might help someone to take a more positive route.

Song Series - Hvitserk | Slow Hands

Rated Explicit. Friends with benefits, oral (female receiving), dirty talk, vaginal sex, modern AU, intoxication, public sex


“We should take this back to my place”
That’s what she said right to my face
‘Cause I want you bad
Yeah, I want you, baby
I’ve been thinking 'bout it all day
And I hope you feel the same way, yeah
'Cause I want you bad
Yeah, I want you, baby


Hvitserk had been trying to hide his feelings for so long. Every time she would laugh at his jokes, let her hands linger on his shoulder, or hang on his arm when she was a little tipsy, was like torture. She was his best friend, for fuck’s sake, his best childhood friend. Tonight was just another one of those nights.

(y/n) was warm and giggly, pleasantly bubbly from the amount of wine she had with dinner. She stumbled a little on the walk out to the car, Hvitserk’s arms immediately wrapping around her waist to keep her from falling. 

“Careful, love,” he chuckled, watching her steady herself. She smiled at him, pressing her chest against his when she rid herself of the high heels on the sidewalk. His heart fluttered when she leaned in, pressing her soft lips against his cheek. 

“You’re so good to me, Hvitty.” She teetered on her tiptoes, lips brushing the sensitive shell of his ear. “So fucking good. So much better than all those other guys.” 

Hvitserk didn’t know what to do, his hands lightly holding the dip of her middle but not daring to wander too far. She didn’t seem like she was going to release him anytime soon but, instead, threaded her fingers through the hair near the nape of his neck. Her nails tickled and the red wine on her breath mixed with her perfume was testing his resolve. 

“(y/n)?” He didn’t know what he was asking but the tone of his voice sounded an awful lot like begging. 

“Why haven’t you ever made a move on me?” She was looking at him now, the bright eyes seeing right through him. “I know you like me. The halfy you’re sportin’ right now is pretty obvious.” 

If it would have stopped at just words he probably would have been alright but (y/n) wasn’t one to be shy. Her nimble little fingers wandered down his front, palming at him right in front of the restaurant he had just taken her to dinner. The air caught in his throat, groaning at the way she worked him from half hard to 100% ready to go in a matter of seconds.  

“(y/n), you’ve gotta…christ,” he yelped, “you’ve gotta stop.” She giggled, taking it as a challenge. 

“I don’t think so, honey.” She pressed her lips lightly against his and he lost it, tugging on her hips to grind against her. He grabbed whatever he could, not able to get enough of the woman he had been longing for since he was 13. His large hands kneaded the soft flesh of her ass and his knee slotted between her thighs. 

“God damn,” she panted and he grunted. “I’ve wanted you for so fucking long. My place?”  

He shook his head, his palms wrapping under her thighs and pulling her up against his torso. 

“Too far - My car.” 

He wanted to take it slow. He wanted to let himself enjoy every part of her all night long but he knew that wasn’t an option right now. They barely made it to the backseat of the car before all clothing was being discarded, neither able to get close enough to the other. He looked at the whimpering woman beneath him, her rosy breasts heaving and fingers tugging at his hair. 

“Hvitserk,” she whimpered, “fuck me.” 

He shook his head once again, attaching his lips to the bud of her clit without warning. She screamed, the sudden pressure of his sucking motion all too much to take and orgasming in record time. He knew she would be ready, now, and he bit his lower lip when she helped line him up at her center. 

“Condom?” He whispered and almost squealed in delight when she replied, ‘on the pill.’ 

Her lips found his when he began sliding into her wet warmth, the sensations causing both of them to tremble. She rocked against him, her clit bumping his pubic bone. She tightened around him as her second orgasm approached and he hissed against her lips. 

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby, fuck.” She continued to tighten and grind, coaxing both of them to their ends. Hvitserk could tell that he was right on the edge but was desperate for her to come with him. He licked his index finger, circling her clit slowly. She shuddered as her second high washed over her and he finally allowed himself to let go, collapsing against her with the intensity of it. 

The two stayed like that for a minute, catching their breath and trying to figure out what the hell just happened. They burst into a fit of giggles when their eyes locked, suddenly realizing the compromising position they were actually in. 

“Did we just fuck in the parking lot of an Olive Garden?” 

She smiled sheepishly, tugging on her dress the best she could. 

“Yep. Take me home? Round Two?” 


Tagging: @saliendodelacuario @rockyrascal @nekodalolita@vibes09@raekenimages @wantingtobekorra @odins-missing-eye@redheadedtrollop @just-danishgirl @synnersaint @burningsunshin3@camster540 @bluearchersstuff@ivars-pet @queendi7 @dollface-lover@daddyslilkitten13 @annoqing@catfishwrites @fivesecondsofsarang @fandomers@just-danishgirl @holy-minseok@ballerinafairyprincess @tiyetiye @umwhatandrea @imaginesparadise @stxrbaby@menegrotth@feelmyroarrrr @palaiasaurus64 @mysteriouslyluckymoon@almondbuttercup @burningsunshin3 @inthenameofodin @cutiepiepotatoes @httpthefuckup  @supervalcsi

anonymous asked:

Everybody knows that you're a Prideshipper, period. Yet, it hurts non prideshippers to see, while you're doing the episode analyses, a time and again reference to the men in that ship being boyfriends. Your analyses are supposed to be neutral in that point. It's like you're imposing the ship, and believe me, it's not cool. The same goes to other ships, if and when that happens.

Can you real quick point to where in my contract it says my analyses are supposed to be neutral? Did I sign a shipping treaty I’ve forgotten about? Did I forget to put up a disclaimer saying my recaps aren’t always fully serious? 

I don’t know how to make it clear, except from context, that some of the things in my recaps are genuine narrative and character analysis and some of the other things are jokes?? Are flippant?? Are comments that reflect the personal opinions of the author and do not constitute an unbiased rendering of the source material??

I’ve jokingly referred to Kaiba and Yami as being boyfriends in recaps three times, over 93 episodes. Marik and Bakura once or twice maybe? I also once said Yugi and Yami got married? 

So I don’t really think saying I do this “time and again” is very fair. I don’t think saying I’m hurting people is very fair. I don’t think saying I’m “imposing” a ship (or multiple ships) on people by making occasional jokes is very fair. I don’t think anonymously telling me I’m behaving in a “not cool” way by making jokes in my own recaps is very fair. 

Actually I think telling someone off for making a joke is what hurts someone. Because this comment hurt my feelings and made me feel shitty about something I wrote, something I put effort and time into, something I did to make people laugh and smile. Something I didn’t think anyone would take seriously enough to come and tell me I’m doing my hobby wrong and I should feel bad. Well, okay, great, I feel bad, but I don’t feel guilty and I’m not going to change the way I write.

writscrib: writscrib is a website where content creators are able to be as free as they want without any harassment or fear of something bad happening to them as long as they keep everything tagged as it should be and you can even tip these creators money if you feel like you want to

tumblr funnyman: now i can make unfunny and bad jokes on this site and get paid for it by my cult of children from tumblr

anonymous asked:

Hi!! What would be Castiel and Armin's reaction to some guy making racist jokes to an latin Candy? (I'm so sorry for my bad english)

(yoooo more requests involving colored candies cause as a black girl I’m really feeling this. And seriously guys stop apologizing for your “bad English”, the fact that you can talk to me is cool. I would love to speak another language even if I can’t speak it well.))

Castiel tbh is taken aback for a second. Like, he doesn’t ever really acknowledge the fact that he’s in an interracial relationship. He’s not ignoring it, he just doesn’t see why it should matter when he’s with you for you. Also his parents are in an interracial relationship, meaning he’s biracial, so it just seemed normal to him, so for someone else to actually pay attention to that pisses him off beyond measurements. He’s probably going to pick a fight with the person so you might wanna drag him away, and while you’re doing that he’s shouting really harsh words towards them. It really takes a while for him to calm down about the whole thing because it really just made his blood boil. Best believe whoever made the jokes are now scared shitless.

Armin is just like “Wait, is this really happening?” He also never really paid attention to the fact that he’s in an interracial relationship because like Cas, his parents are in one as well. He doesn’t understand why people feel the need to point it out because it’s pretty unimportant when you’re dating someone, you know? He’s unsure of what to do at first because he never thought something like this would happen but when the shock is over he goes the hell off on the person. Like, a never-before-seen Armin has been summoned and it’s honestly terrifying if you’re the one it’s directed towards. “Are you FUCKING kidding me right now you ignorant shit head???” He asks his parents for advice on how to deal with it since (I think, do not quote me on this) Armin is white and he’s never really experienced something like that.

anonymous asked:

fluffy drabble of noctis and s/o before falling asleep please :3

OKAY, I already did a little fluffy thing with each of the Chocobros in it and I didn’t want this to be more of the same. Furthermore, all I could come up with was something goofy af so I’m so sorry. xD

Bad joke warning. They’re real bad and I should feel bad. Also I do this stuff to my husband all the time and he’s pretty Noctis.


It hadn’t been over five minutes since you climbed in bed with your favorite prince, but you knew you weren’t going to be able to go to sleep anytime soon. You were tired, but you still had a lot of mental energy and your thoughts just went on and on.

Noctis, on the other hand… if he wasn’t sleeping already, he was likely on the brink of dozing off. Still, with his back facing you so that you couldn’t tell and no audible snores coming from his direction, you decided to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and make him privy to your ridiculous, sleep-deprived mind. You already knew he wasn’t going to appreciate it, but you needed to get the last of this slap-happiness out of your system.

You stifled a giggle, poking your partner’s shoulder. “Hey, Noct? Are you awake?”

“…Define awake?” The prince’s raspy voice replied after a moment.

“Being able to respond to my question. Which means you can also respond to my jokes.”

“Mm?” Noctis hummed groggily. You sat up to peer over him as you pet his head, making sure that he wouldn’t fall asleep yet.

“Knock knock.”

He responded obligatorily, “Who’s there?” 

“Not Noct.” You were barely able to reply before breaking into laughter as the raven-haired boy suddenly flopped over on his back to glare at you. He knew that wasn’t a continuation of this joke to be made.

“What…?”

You waved your hand as you calmed down. “No, no, sorry! That one was stupid… Knock knock.”

The prince squeezed his tired eyes shut, rubbing them while he heaved an exasperated sigh. At least he loved you enough to give you another chance as he asked “Who’s there?” a second time.

“Ifrit.” You chirped.

“Ifrit who?”

You blurted out, “Ifrit ain’t cookies, then go away!”

Again, you found yourself being the only one who found your comedy routine amusing and you could see that Noctis was determined to end it. He grabbed ahold of your wrist and pulled you until you were lying down on him.

“Awful. Go to sleep.” He retorted, wrapping his arms around your waist while you giggled against his chest. You could’ve sworn he cracked a smile, but it might’ve just been your imagination. After a minute, you cleared your throat and were quiet.

“Please Titan your grip on me because Archaen feel your warmth!”

The prince groaned. He was done with you. He touched your face and pulled you close to his where you could see the dark circles under his eyes. You smirked, and he gave you a lazy, sideways smile in return.

“How about I kiss you, and you never tell those jokes again?”

“To you, at least.”

“Fair enough.” Noctis pulled you in, kissing you softly as he held you against his chest. When you parted, he chuckled. “Actually, just text them all to Prompto.”

You laughed and shifted so that you were under the covers while you rested your head in the crook of the prince’s shoulder. “No… nobody gets as mad as you do.”

I’ve wanted to draw Iris Wildthyme’s incarnations for a while, because it’s difficult to find references for her and I’ll need some if I ever want to draw her (I’d still really like to draw a few scenes from The Scarlet Empress).

anonymous asked:

My friends complain about me a lot. They say I'm annoying, mean, talk too much... They make me feel so bad sometimes and I cry after I met them because they make me feel bad about myself and I start to hate me. I try my best, but they don't see that. I don't know what I should do about it. I don't know if they say it as a joke, but it still hurts.

I think the answer is obvious. You shouldn’t be friends with people who make you feel that way.

scarfythewizard  asked:

🔪💉😅😂😀💕👍

B r o s h i n k i

🔪- I would hate to get on your bad side.

That’s good, you should, but you could never be on my bad side~

💉- Talking to you or seeing you on my dash makes me feel better.

I feel better just look at you honey oml

😅- I often worry about upsetting you or scaring you off.

H o n e y p l e a s e

😂- I’m comfortable around you.

I’m comfortable around you too, like honestly I don’t think I could laugh at fart jokes or any other sort of childish humor with anyone else and not be embarrassed.

😀- I would consider us friends.

Excuse you, I would consider us sisters!!!! :0

💕- I love you!!

I love you more, you giant teddy bear!! I could hug and cuddle you all DAY!! Don’t ever leave me omg💕💕💕💕💕

👍- I like you. Just, in general. I think you’re a genuinely good person.

In all honesty sweetheart, you’re a better and sweeter person than me~


Thank you so much you beautiful peach! Send me some more asks guys, and I’m sorry for the long post!

vardasvapors replied to your post:Last day of teaching paired with overwhelming…

bad thoughts: expecting poorly of kids and being wrong always makes me feel bad so maybe you should feel bad too!!!!!!!! just a thought!!!!!!!!!!! a bad thought!!!! (also what result are you angling for with these bad thoughts? more dream blogging?)

Sdgdjgklsdjg I don’t feel bad because if I were in their position I would absolutely not ask any review questions, so it was REALLY just self-condemnation + theory of mind failure, which is my only mode of criticism. You were joking but I nevertheless wanted to lay out my process. Anyway no I was hoping for like, I don’t know, dumb elf what-ifs. Questions about media. YOU know.

randonerd666  asked:

My new cartoon crush is Mr Grits, no joke, is that the most nasty thing on earth? Should I feel bad?

Aw! Don’t feel bad! I shipped Twink/Firewater hardcore n found myself havin a cartoon crush on a booze bottle!!

anonymous asked:

I feel so bad because I'm an underage queer girl who reallllly wants to support the bold type in anyway she can but I don't have a subscription to Freeform :(

hi! if this is in response to my post about the bold type being slept on, then please recognise that that post was 100% a joke. I, in no way, meant to make people feel guilty for not contributing to ratings (I don’t either).
you shouldn’t be feeling bad, there’s only so much you can do. At the end of the day it is just a show. You should be enjoying it, not feeling bad.

PSA For Non Sugar/SWs

From me to you

If you’re not into sugaring already please don’t randomly jump in because of what you see on Tumblr. The fact that you would randomly join based off some random people you see on the internet is kind of a sign that you’re not mature enough or the type, at least not right now to get into sugaring. Somethings are just meant to be left for others. Sometimes I think racing cars would be cool– but I don’t do it. Because it’s not for me, I’m not cut out for it and I would end up getting myself hurt. 

I never thought I had to be ones of these girls who talks about how they don’t want non SW blogs following them or girls under 18 because I always assumed you guys would know not to try and copy us based off our blogs. However clearly that’s not the case. I’m not saying don’t follow sugar blogs because it’s fine to be interested but don’t imitate it. I’m not your mother I can’t forbid you from sugaring but I’m just saying as a “experienced” girl to newbies please take care of yourself and don’t be childish. 

We don’t talk about it a lot honestly it’s because it’s depressing but most girls have had a horrible and scary experiences sugaring, at least one. It’s dangerous. It’s not all jokes and bags and money and shit. I get a lot of ask about being platonic and I don’t always give the best answers because when I started sugaring I was naive and I didn’t know I was platonic. I didn’t know not having sex was rare. I can’t tell you how to be platonic because it’s not something I’ve ever tried to do it’s just something that happened. And no it’s not easy to be a platonic baby and yes I’ve had scares because men have given me money expecting sex not knowing.  

What I do works for me and at the end of the day my approach is mine and the only one I want being put in potential danger by it is me. I don’t want anyone reading my blog and think “Oh I’ll just sugar because it’s easy!” because it’s not. I get scared out of my mind before meeting pots and I feel like I’m going to puke the first few times because I know what could happen. I get anxiety when I’m home alone after meeting a new pot because I’m afraid I might be fucking with the wrong person. 

I “joke” about how men are stupid (not really a joke.. it’s true) but they can also be really dangerous as well and that’s not something you should ever forget. I started out with a mentor and I still got in bad situations. You guys are just trying to go off blogs and to be honest I think that’s a bad combination. So this is me sincerely asking and even begging you not to do this as a joke or “just because”. Just be a teenager/young adult and don’t fuck with these old ass creepy ass men.