my internet is doing my head in

5

When you’re under investigation and unable to act officially but you don’t give a f.. about UN’s orders.
Idk, I just wanted to draw theses two together.

Quotes I've Said While Reading Fics PT.2

“Um, no. No no no. No no no no nonononononono… N O.”

“BACK THE FUCK UP. HOLD ON. TIME OUT. WAIT A DIDDLY HECKIN SECOND.”

*reading a smut scene* *locks phone* *deep breath* “I am a child of God!… Lol nope.” *continues reading*

“FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS. FUCK THAT. FUCK IT. FUCK EVERYTHING. FUCK ME. FUCK. FUCK FUCK F U C K.”

“Do be do be do, ba do be do be do ba, YEET outta here.”

“Okay this is a really intense, emotional scene, why is the Pink Panther song going on in my head.”

“HA I GOT THAT REFERENCE FUCK YEA IM COOL!”

“Okay not really bUT I KNOW MY SHIT.”

“@God: why.”

“Wait no you’re supposed to lovE EACH OTHER.”

Anti...
  • THAT person/friend: *walks in* Oh hey, what's up? What're you doing?
  • Me: Uhh, browsing Klance. What does it look like? *thou should leave, peasant.*
  • THAT friend: Oh ew! So you're an anti?!? Freak!
  • Me: *you.. have my attention now...* W-what?!? No! Why would you think I'm an anti??
  • THAT friend: Well everyone knows that the Klance fandom is filled with antis. Klance is overrated anyway. But you wouldn't understand. You're an idiotic anti!!
  • Me: HEY!! Klance may be overrated, but that doesn't stop me from shipping it. I really love this ship, but that doesn't mean I'll attack others for not thinking the same!! Shipping is for fun and it's not supposed to be used as a means of threatening others.
  • THAT friend: But you don't like Sheith!!! You said so yourself!!
  • Me: Actually, I see Keith and Shiro as having a more brotherly relationship. Broganes. Besides, I HAVE in fact liked or reblogged (or both) cute Sheith stuff before.
  • THAT friend: Well, you're TOTALLY against Sh//aladin right? That's anti.
  • Me: Not EVERY relationship is a romantic one. I just see Shiro as more of a father or even idol figure to the paladins. It's still a close bond, but nothing really romantic... To be honest, I personally ship Shiro more with Allura or Matt. Shatt and Shallura are both good for the soul.
  • THAT friend: Kallura though? What do you have against THAT, HUH?
  • Me: I don't really see the chemistry there..? I mean I get that in all versions of Voltron before, Kallura was practically canon, but, in Legendary Defender I don't really see it. As I said, they're more just 'good friends' to me. That doesn't mean I have anything against the ship, it's just that I personally happen to dislike it. That doesn't mean anything though. Those who ship it can continue shipping it no problem! If it makes them happy, why would I want to take that away from them? Who am I to do that?
  • THAT friend: Well of course you're going to hate on any ship with PIDGE in it right? Because that's "pedophilia?"
  • Me: Well, no. Pidge don't need no man, nor woman. I just see her as that type of character. Her love is more of a family love. Close bonds with friends that fit into the 'you're like a brother to me' category. Lauren said herself that all ships are valid. Jut because someone ships someone else with Pidge with someone doesn't mean I'll hate on them for not having the same view point as me.
  • THAT friend: AND HUNK? Is his ass too PURE for your freaky anti shipping?
  • Me: (I'm not an anti shut upppp!!!) Well no, I more ship Hunk with Shay to be honest. I love Hunk, but he's more of a Mom Friend figure to the Voltron paladins and crew. He's sweet but I still see more of a close friendship.
  • THAT friend: Well what about Klance? Couldn't THAT be considered simply a 'close friendship?'
  • Me: Well.. yeah to be honest, it COULD. I found Klance before I found Voltron, so I guess that's just my own stupid bias. But even if I'd watched Voltron first, I would've shipped Klance, I'm sure of that. No matter what anyone says, it IS true that they even each out nicely. Just because someone else doesn't ship it doesn't mean I'll make an attempt to chop their head off, even though Klance is my OTP. If it even becomes canon, that's just an added bonus. The creators ARE leaning in that general direction right now, but heck, that could change, right? It's just my opinion and it's not gonna change, but I'm not going to hurt someone else for dissing it, even though I don't agree.
  • THAT friend: *scoff* Whatever, freak anti.
  • Me: *sigh* Listen, I don't know where you got this anti thing from, but just because some Klance shippers are anti doesn't mean ALL of them are. All ships and fandoms in general have antis, and though none of us like it, it's just a thing we'll have to deal with. All we can do is be nice and try not to bite each others' heads off, but DON'T make the mistake that everyone in a certain category must be this or that. It's not right and you have to accept that. Believe me, if I had ANY control over this discourse, I'd try to do everything in my power to at least make it better. Unfortunately, I'm just one person over the internet, so I can't do much accept sitting back, watching, and putting in my shitty opinion here and there.
  • THAT friend: ... You had to get deep, didn't you?
  • Me: Huehuehue, fuk u 2.
ATTENTION!

Hey!

Yeah you.

Are you a baby boomer?

Do you often scoff when you see people on their phones?

Do you talk about “this generation” in a negative way?

Then come here.

Little closer.

Did you know…

that phones…

and computers….

aren’t just light boxes?

That’s right!

Get this!

They’re communication devises!

That means that they’re devises used for communication.

Did you know that texting isn’t just typing words? 

Those words you type are actually sent to someone.

That person can actually send you words back.

And you two can have a conversation.

Imagine that! People using their phones to hold a conversation with people they care about.

You can even do this if your friend or family member is somewhere far away.

Distance doesn’t mean you can’t talk to someone everyday when you have a phone!

Did you also know that people can use phones and computers to read?

That’s right. Free of charge too.

Usually they read other people’s amateur work and leave comments.

These can be encouraging, or criticizing.

Either way they help someone with their writing skills.

Speaking of writing.

Did you know your phone can be used for that as well?

Even if you’re far from home when you’re inspiration hits, you can still sit down and write.

Isn’t that just the best?

Did you know that if you use a computer or a phone to write, you can back everything up on the internet without having to retype it all?

Did you know that you can share your experiences in real time with anyone you care about that can’t be there with you?

All you need to do is take a picture and hit send!

People can actually see the highlights of their baby cousin’s birthday party even if they live in another county.

Speaking of which.

You can also send pictures of yourself.

It takes only a few seconds to send your sick friend your smile.

Speaking of friends.

Did you know that you can meet people in so many new ways using the internet?

Being in the same place is never an issue.

Instead you meet people based on interest instead of locations.

You can meet people that like the same band as you in the comments of the music video.

You can meet people that enjoy the same humor as you when you share a video.

You can meet people that share so many things with you because they came to the same place.

Even if it wasn’t at the same time.

Did you know, that on the internet your words are what speak for you instead of your looks?

All anyone has to see is a profile picture.

So you’re more judged on what you say and like.

Your personality and intelligence is the first thing people see, instead of you looks.

Did you know…

that when I’m on my phone….

I’m not just staring at a screen?

Guess what?

I’M DOING THINGS AND USING MY PHONE AS A TOOL TO DO IT!!!!

So hey.

Yeah you.

SHUT-UP!

John grinned over his beer bottle at Alex, who’s eyes were slightly glazed over.

“Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.”

“Wimp. Alright, let’s say your laptop and I were both trapped in a burning building. Which would you save?”

…Silence.

“Do you actually have to think about this?”

“John, my man, my buddy, dude, did you actually think that this would be an easy question for him? Were you actually expecting something else?”

“Shut up Peggy. I just thought that I meant more to my boyfriend than his laptop,” John joked and Alex shook his head.

“No, no you are! But my laptop has all my papers and essays on it, and all my writing and internet connection and movies and music…”

“And I’m a living breathing human being! And your boyfriend! Can your laptop make breakfast for you? Nah, I didn’t think so.”

“Well, technically I could order breakfast on it, so…”

Angelica turned her head and stared at John. “This is what you get, for dating,” she waved in Alexander’s general direction, “him.” She giggled and turned back away to where she was ogling one of the bartenders, John thought her name was Dolley? He wasn’t sure.

“That was so helpful Angie, thanks.”

“Pancakes or writing…” Alex muttered to himself. “Turtles or buttons… freckles or lights…”

“This is kinda sad to watch?” Hercules asked Lafayette while smiling. “He’s actually thinking about it.”

“I feel so… betrayed.” John jokes and Alex shakes his head.

“John. I’d save John.”

John smiled and leaned over to kiss him, but then Alex jumped up.

“Wait, what if John was holding my laptop?”

It’s our wedding anniversary today, four years and counting–eleven total if you include all the time we spent together separated by circumstance and geogrpahy.

And just because I know you’ll be checking my blog soon to see what random weirdness I’m chattering away about to the internet today and either laughing, shaking your head or rolling your eyes (more likely all three at once) @ etd, I love you.

From the depths of my heart to the strata of my undying soul, I love you.

Thank you for always being there for me, for loving me, for caring for me when I cannot and for always being by my side when I times are hard. Thank you for taking everything in your stride, or at least making it look like you do. Thank you for the joy and laughter and everything else in between, for putting up with my crazy shit and also for enabling most of it.

You are the absolute love of my life and my best friend, and there’s no one else I’d rather grow old and cryptid with and adopt ten thousand internet children with than you.

You weird, wonderful, trickster bastard you 💖😙👻

still an INTJ

I get a lot of people asking me variations of “If I do [insert something that doesn’t fit INTJ stereotype], am I still an INTJ?” It’s possible that you aren’t. I’ll admit that. But, more likely, you’ve fallen prey to the stereotypes that abound across the internet. It’s not about these stereotypes–it’s about how you think, how your brain processes events and emotions. 

I know that I’m an INTJ, but I do a lot of things you wouldn’t necessarily expect of an INTJ. To reassure those of you who may be unsure, I want you to know that I’m an INTJ who:

  • writes poetry
  • is prone to bouts of extreme loneliness
  • is seen (by others) as a friendly and approachable person
  • sucks at math
  • genuinely cares about how my actions affect others
  • likes physical affection
  • sometimes follows my heart rather than my head
  • and more

i was doing some readings the other night. my boyfriend’s best friend is a pisces. he actually told me about 3-4 times, i’m a pisces. and every time i saw him i made a comment about him being a taurus. he always corrected me, it was like i never listened to him. but in my head he was a taurus. and i would talk to my boyfriend about him like he was a taurus. 

when i did his chart it showed moon in taurus in the 1st house sitting on the taurus ascendent. ahh, thats why i just kept it in my head he was a taurus lol. and his wife, i went to have a look at her chart. anyway my computer tripped out. then their internet netgear disconnected and took ages to re-connect, i commented that, ‘i can’t do ur chart, u must have saturn in the 9th house… saturn stopping me lol’, and we connected the internet and restarted everything and sure enough, she had saturn in the 9th house lol

my boyfriend also has taurus rising like my daughter. when he met me transiting neptune was only just conjunct over his natal venus in pisces. neptune conjunct venus transit. he met an astrologer. but with a borderline history. the joker wages her neptune hand. hello i love u long time

Montgomery x Reader Imagine (Part 7/?)

IMPORTANT NOTE: Can I just say that I always get sooo excited when someone comments on my imagines and I always want to reply and give you all hugs and say thank you but I don’t do it because I when I comment name of my other blog shows up so that would be weird and confusing lol
But yeah I see EVERYTHING and want to thank you a million times ❤
PART 1    PART 2     PART 3     PART 4
    PART 5     PART 6


action moves like a month of so forward, somewhere around halloween

“You’re going to the Friday’s party, right?”, Jessica asked when we were warming up before dance on basketball game.

“Umm, not sure yet”, I smiled faintly.

“Excuse me? Y/N Y/L/N can’t not come for halloween party!”, Monty and Bryce were walking by us and clearly overheard.

“I’ll try my best to make it to the party, but I’m doing trick or treat with my cousin and definitely can’t cancel that”.

“You can bring you cousin to the party, the more girls the better”, Bryce sent me his probablly most disgusting smile.

“She’s six, you vein fuck”.

“Well, you can come after you will be done. Come on”, Sheri begged.

“I’ll try my best”, I repeated.

Two days later I was walking around the city with my cousin, she dressed as Joker, me as Harley Quinn and I wasn’t too amused about that, because half of the girls were dressed like Harley, but Trixie* is way too stubborn to fight with her about that. And it was actually cute how surprised she was everytime we passed someone dressed as Harley.

“Have you seen it?”, she whispered. “She was dreesed just like you!”

“I know!”, I made shocked face everytime. “But she doesn’t have this cool baseball bat“.

My dad said I can’t go around dressed like that without anything for selfdefence, so I borrowed Jeff’s bat.
I was walking around, joking with this little six-years-old nugget and didn’t even realised we went to Monty’s house until he opened the door.

“Hi, Monty”, I smiled when he opened the door.

“Trick of treat!”, Trixie shouted.

“Well, treat! You don’t mess with Joker, am I right? And who is your pretty friend?”, he smiled at me.

“It’s Harley. But just for today, normally she’s Y/N and she doesn’t dress like a hooker”, she said seriously.

“Trixie!”, I softly jerked her hand. “Where did you hear that word?”

“In tv”, she shrugged like it was nothing.

“You know, you probably shouldn’t use that word”, Monty crouched in front of Trixie and threw some candies into the basket. “Your mum might get really upset if she heard you say it”.

“Okay, I won’t.”

I was actually surprised how good Monty was with little child, because no one would expect that from typical jock and number one bully in school.

“You’re not at the party?”, I asked.

“I’m leaving soon”, he said as he was standing up. “Are you gonna show up?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll come after I’m finished. Oh come on”, I looked into Trixie’s basket. “You can do better than that, de la Cruz”.

He grinned at me and threw more candies into basket.

“Thanks! Cool!”, Trixie said excited.

“You’ll get some at the party”, he said quietly.

“Will it be trick or treat?”, I asked and bit my lower lip.

“You’ll see”.

Trixie jerked my hand. “Is that your boyfriend?”, she whispered but loud enough for Monty to hear.

“No sweetie, he’s not my boyfriend, just my friend, Monty”, I felt I started blushing.

“Okay”, she nodded her head.

“We’re gotta go, a lot of candies to get”, I smiled. “See you later. Trixie, say bye”

“Bye, Monty!”, she waved at him.

“Bye, girls”, he smiled. “Y/N, you look good when you’re blushing”, he said when we walked a little bit. I didn’t say anything, just shook me head and smile.

Three hours later I finally got to the party, went straight to the kitchen and made myself a drink.

“Where did you lost your Joker?”, Montgomery showed up next to me.

“This party wouldn’t handle Joker”, I laughed.

“You know, as much as I would like to take you upstairs or somewhere right, you should probably look for Jess. I think she and Justin had a fight”.

“Shit”, I rolled my eyes. “Thanks”, I smiled at him and took my drink.

I started looking for Jessica, but instead I spotted Justin talking to Zach, pointing at one place, and that was were I found Jess and Sheri.

“Okay, straight to the point, what happened?”, I asked.

“He’s just… ugh… I’m so tired of him!”, she shouted and drank her drink at once.

I sighed, grabbed her armed and made her follow my steps and we went to the Justin.

“What happened to you two?”, I asked Justin.

“She’s fucking psycho!”

“Can’t you just do one thing I ask you for?!”, Jessica screamed.

“Okay, I’m out”, Zach raised his hands and walked away.

“What did he do or didn’t do?”.

“I’m Nancy, he was supposed to be Sid”.

“I am Sid!”, he defended himself.

“Are you serious? Do you even have internet to check things?”

“Both of you shut up!”, I covered their mouths with my hands. “Okay, Justin you could have done a little bit better. But Jess, when you two stand next to each other no one has a doubt who you are. Sind and Nancy. Nancy and Sid”, I smiled.

“Really?”, she asked.

“Yeah”, I nodded my head. “Now, kiss”, I looked at Justin, who still looked pissed. “Oh come on, you can’t be mad at her for too long, we all know that”

He finally grinned and gave Jess a hug.

“Yay, Y/N, the peacemaker!”, Jeff came up to us and high fived me.

“Okay, Y/N, don’t freak out”, Sheri said with a tone that actually made me wanna freak out. “Don’t look but on your two o’clock is…”

Of course I looked before she even finished the sentence. “Oh, fuck”, I quickly turned my face.

“What? Who is that?”, Jess asked.

“My fucking scumbag exboyfriend, Sean”, my jaw instantly clenched. “Why is he even here? He already graduated, he wasn’t even in Liberty High”

“I think he came with Bryce’s cousin”, Sheri said.

“Fuck”, I tok a huge sip of my drink.

“Monty!”, Jess waved at de la Cruz. “Put your arm around Y/N”.

“What?”, me and Monty asked at the same time.

“He wraps his arm around you, it looks like you’re together and this Sean or whatever his name is won’t come anywhere near you”.

Her plan was pretty good, I had to admit.

“Put you fucking arm around me, Montgomery”, I said through my clenched teeth and so he did.

“He’s here?”, he asked shocked. “We all warned you, when you started dating him. First of all, you were freshman, he was senior, second of all he wasn’t even in Liberty…”

“And he was in our opponent’s basketball team”, Justin added.

“Oh, stop with the fucking basketball team, like it’s the most important part of the story”, I rolled my eyes.

“Okay, but what’s the story?”, Jessica asked, she didn’t know anything, because she wasn’t at Liberty High when everything happened.

“He banged her and she never heard of him again”, Justin said.

“We were official”, I said with sharp tone. “But yeah, he broke up with me right after we… you know”, I finished my drink with one sip.

“Okay, I’ll bring you another, cause I see you need one”, Monty took my empty cup.

“Thanks, lots of vodka, please”.

“I’ll kick his ass”, Jeff said very pissed, and Jeff is not a person who get pissed easily.

“Me too”, Foley added.

“No one’s gonna kick anybody’s ass, go outside, play some beerpong, we’re not making any scene”, I pushed to te backyard and stayed with Sheri.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay”, she tried to cheer me up. “Monty might be, well, Monty, but he’s always there if someone needs him, and Sean can’t be that dumb, to come up to you when you have Montgomery by your side”.

“You’re probably right”, I sent her faint smile and turned around just to see that Sean was already right in front of me.

“Well hello, Y/N. You’re looking even better than when I last saw you, if that’s even possible”, he looked at me up and down.

“Yeah, that’s cool but I got somewhere to be”, I tried to walked next to him, but he took a step to the left and got in my way.

“Come on, don’t run away, we can sit somewhere and go down the memory lane, you know, good, old times”, he stroked my cheek.

“First of all, don’t touch me”, I flinched. “Second of all, there are no good, old times, leave me alone”.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Justin and Jessica coming to us, Jess tried to calm him down.

“Oh, come on, babe”, Sean rolled his eyes.

“She’s not your babe”, suddenly Monty stood next me and I felt like I started breathing again, even though I didn’t realised I had held my breath.

“Is she yours?”.

“She asked you to leave her alone”, Monty took a step towards Sean, so now he was separating him from me.

“Or what?”

“You really wanna see?”, I spotted Montgomery clenched his fists.

“You wanna do it outside?”

“Okay, okay”, I stepped between the two of them. “No one is gonna do anything outside, we’re not making scene”, I spotted Jessica holding Justin arm and Zach whispering something to Jeff. I also noticed music stopped playing, so now everybody’s eyes were on us.

“Oh, I see”, Sean chuckled. “Your whole protect committee is here. Jeff, Justin, Sheri… Everyone who comfort little, poor Y/N after her terrible boyfriend broke up with her”.

Monty got pissed and tried to took another step forward, but I stopped him.

“Monty, don’t”, I whispered. “Okay, Sean, it’s enough”.

I almost made Monty turn around and leave the room, but Sean just wouldn’t stop.

“Maybe if you weren’t so fucking boring in bed I wouldn’t break up with you after I fucked you two times”.

Justin got out of Jessica’s grip and this time I literally had to pushed Montgomery to stop him, only Zach could keep Jeff in place.

“Justin, don’t!”, I shouted and he stopped walking.

I turned to face Sean.

“The right word is “bored” not “boring””, I said calmly. “I was bored in bed. And maybe I wouldn’t be so fucking bored if there was anything to be excited about”, I took a glance at his crotch, making hints about size of his member worked on every guy if you wanted to shut him up. I turned back to Monty.

“Dumb slut”, I heard behind me.

Monty clenched again, his eyes were dark with rage.

“Montgomery, don’t”, I said softly and put my hands on his chest.. “Just drop it.”

“You let him talk to you like that?”, he whispered.

I smiled at him. What he didn’t noticed was that I was boiling inside. And that my hand was clenched in fist. I turned around and punched Sean right in the nose. Everybody’s jaws dropped. He put his hand on his face and when he took it away, still in shock, I punched him again.

“I don’t want to see you ever again!”, I shouted. “You hear me? Ever again!”, once I let my anger get out of me I just couldn’t stop and kicked him in the anckle. “Fucking scumbag!”

“Okay, that’s enough”, Monty grabbed me in my waist, pulled me up and carried me outside. 

“Put me down, I’ll fucking kill him. Montomery, put me down!”, I tried to punch him in his ribs with my elbow.

“Yeah, I’ll handle it”, he said quietly to someone, probably Jeff, cause we just went past him.

We left the house, Monty closed door with a kick and continued carrying me.

“Fuck you, Montgomery”, I shouted.

When we were far from people, he finally put me down, turned me, so I was standing face to face with him and he put his hands on my shoulders.

“Calm down”.

“Don’t tell me to calm down! Why you can get angry and beat the shit out of people, and I can’t?”, I looked at him

“Because you‘re better than that!”, he shouted and that stopped me for a moment. “You’re better than that”, he said calmly. “You’re better than me”.

He saw I was calmer, so he took his hands off my shoulders.

“You okay?”, he asked concerned.

“Yeah… I’m sorry… I acted like a fucking psycho”.

“Hey, hey, don’t apologize for it, the guy is a dick”.

“Did this punch at least looked good or was it that funny, pathetic show that girls always do when they hit someone with their funny little fists?”, I asked.

“Well, even though your fists are funnily small, the punch was actually impressive”, he nodded his head. “Not pathetic. At least until you kicked his anckle,then you started acting like a girl.”

“Whatever”, I rolled my eyes and realised my hand actually hurt a little bit, Monty spotted grin on my face.

“I’ll get you some ice”, he offered.

“No, just”, I touched his arm. “Let’s just… Don’t go inside for a few minutes”.

“What about your hand?”, he asked concerned. “It hurts and it’ll be worse, trust me”.

“It’s okay…”, I mumbled. I looked up because I heard door opening and saw Jeff, who carried a bag of ice. “Thank you, Atkins”, I smiled.

“We can murder him if you want, you know?”, he said.

“Nobody’s gonna murder anyone”, I rolled my eyes.

Door opened again and Zach, Justin, Sheri, Jessica and Bryce walked out.

“What the hell, dudes?”, Walker asked. “Y/N, you’re at a party fifteen minutes and you start a fight?”

“Oh God, you’re so stupid”, I sighed. “You should really pay more attention to who’s coming to your party, Bryce.”

“He’s my cousin’s friend from college and you’re acting like crazy bitch.”

“Have you even been there?!”, I asked loudly.

“Leave her alone, Bryce”, Monty said.

“Actually you know, Bryce, you and Sean would be great best friends as you both treat girls like trash”, I added.

Walker didn’t answear anything, just looked at me for a moment.

“Keep an eye on your chick, Monty”, he said finally.

“First of all, I’m not his chick, and what was that even supposed to mean?”, I asked.

“Just saying”, he shrugged and went back home.

“Fuck you, Bryce”, I shouted to him. “Did he just threatened me?”

“Come on, he’s just talking crap”, Justin said.

“No, Justin, he literally said to Monty to keep his eye on me”.

“For now, let’s focus on you keeping ice on your hand”, Montgomery took the bag of ice I hold in my left hand and put it on the right one.

“He threatened me, you all heard it”, I pointed at all of my friends.

“Let’s just all stay together for the rest of the night, alright?”, Jess proposed. “This party has gotten really fucking weird.”

And so we did, Monty really felt into this whole “put your fucking arm around me” thing, cause whenever Sean was seen closer than on the opposite end of the party, Monty’s hand automatically went on me. And when his arm wasn’t around me, he was in the kitchen making me a drink, to make sure my cup isn’t empty.

One thing led to another and after few drinks I was very, very buzzed and that makes me very touchy so as soon as right moment came I dragged Monty into first empty room and locked the door.

“Mont, do you know what time is it?”, I asked. “It’s a hook up time”, I answered my own question before he even opened his mouth , brought him closer by his neck and kissed.

At first he was a little shocked, what kind of surprised my drunk mind, it’s not like it’s the first time we were doing it, then he got into kissing for a moment, but when he realized I was slowly moving us towards bed, he moved away.

“What’s wrong?”, I asked.

“Babe, you’re wasted”, he said.

“So? If you don’t remember I also was drunk the first time we had sex”.

“You weren’t that drunk”, he crossed his arms.

“Like you care”, I snorted.

“Maybe you should take a nap”, he offered.

“I don’t want a nap, I want you to fuck me”, I said and put my arms around his neck. “Daddy?”

At this point he almost cracked, I could tell when he bit his lower lip and close his eyes.

“I don’t take advantage of drunk girls”, he said with his eyes still closed.

“Oooh, daddy has some morals?”, my thumb went up and down on the back of his neck.

He sighed, put his hands on my hips, kissed me and started moving us towards bed.

He laid me on bed  and the moment my head touched the pillow I felt how soft and comfy it was and how tired I actually was and that I couldn’t even bother to move my lips.

“Are you tired?”, Monty asked softly.

I nodded my head.

I closed my eyes, he moved me so I was laying on side and not on my back and covered me with a blanket.

“Take a nap”, he whispered and left the room.

It felt like a minute passed when someone kneeled next to bed.

“Hey, you’re okay?”, Monty asked.

“God, you left like a minute ago, let me nap”, I mumbled and covered my head with blanket.

Montgomery giggled. “Y/N, you slept for an hour”.

“What?!”, I quickly sat on bed.  

“It’s okay”, he smiled. “Here, I got you some water”.

“Thanks”, I took a glass from him and drank it all at once. “God, I feel like shit after that nap, why did you let me nap?”, I moaned.

“Because you were wasted”.

“I wasn’t that drunk. A little buzzed, but not wasted”, I rolled my eyes.

“I called you babe and you didn’t reply with your ‘I’m not your babe’”.

“Maybe I was trying to be nice?”

Montgomery didn’t answer, just bit his lips trying not to laugh.

“What? What did I do?”, I asked. “Monty, tell me”, I punched his arm.

“You called me daddy”, he said finally.

“No, I didn’t”, I said disgusted.

He nodded his head.

“Oh my God”, I laid back and again covered my face with blanket in embarrassment. “You know it wasn’t me talking? I was wasted”.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought”, he laughed. “You want more water?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you, Monty”, I smiled.

“You’re welcome”.


*Trixie - named after Trixie from show “Lucifer” on FOX, if you haven’t watch it, I hardly recommend it, very good shit and Trixie is my favourite.

Oh, sorry this one was mostly dialogues, but I kinda struggle with describing and that kinda stuff because english is not my first language (I really have to stop using it as an excuse for everything)

also since im talking about it: fuck you if you say self-dxing is some like. awful moral sin. even assuming everyone has access to a trustworthy medical professional THE VERY INSTANT they think they may have a mental illness, there are very legitimate reasons not to get diagnosed. hell if i was functional without medicine and therapy i wouldn’t have wanted to get diagnosed at all because that shit can be held against you so easily

if im ever accused of a crime, my diagnosis will be used against me. many employers won’t want to hire me even if i somehow never experience debilitating symptoms again. im not allowed to buy a gun in most of the US. and those are just things i can think of off the top of my head.

people who are against self diagnosis do not fucking care about the people who self diagnose and why they do it, they just get sooooo fucking steamed at the very IDEA that teenagers self diagnose and might use it in an internet argument or as an excuse (which in my experience isn’t ever that effective anyways????) and, if they’re also ND, want to loudly distance themselves from those people.

On my way from work I ran into a busker, which isn’t an uncommon sight in my town. The town is a magnet for these types of artistic vagrants for reasons that are a mystery for me, but this guy was notably talented. He was a very large, very round man who played the accordion like an absolute pro, and though the accordion is far from a favorite instrument of mine - it doesn’t even rank in the top 50 - I had to pay him for his efforts. He had no hat, box, bucket or other object in which to drop my money, so I attempted to pay him directly and he held out his hand to stop me. He opened a slit on the side of his accordion revealing USB slots and told me to connect my phone to his accordion.

When I did, my phone automatically downloaded an app that was like Uber for buskers. It had listed the entire history of this particular busker, from even before it was possible for the app to exist, with recordings off all his performances and the ability to rate him on a scale of 1 to 5. Since I was impressed by his performance, and perhaps just a bit in awe of being introduced to this new app, I rated him 5 stars and he seemed quite pleased. I thanked and complimented him before continuing on my way, and that’s when I noticed that every busker on the street had been making use of this app. It seemed that many people weren’t even paying attention these buskers, but a group of dark suited men would patronize each, plugging their phones into multiple USB ports on the instruments and rating each busker before moving in a group in order to rate the next busker.

That night I had horrible nightmares. They were abstract and seemed to morph at random. The images in them were vivid and visceral, yet I couldn’t describe them to you now as their coherence hinged on dream logic. However, one dream managed to form itself into something of a intelligible moment. I was in the class of my home room teacher from elementary school. I was there to make up for tests that I had failed as a child. My teacher was there, sitting behind her desk, though she was obscured by shadows and all I could make out were her eyes behind her glasses. They were moist and shined faintly in obscure light. When she blinked, they became like fleshy holes and I could see to the back of her brain, where things, like spiders or living threads, were wiggling and moving around at extreme speeds. Each time she blinked, she would grow larger and my desk smaller. I was anxious because I knew my growing teacher’s eyes would eventually envelope the room before I could finish my tests, which were simple, but made difficult to complete because of the increasingly tiny size of my desk.

It eventually came to be that I was inside of my teacher’s mind and everything was pink and red. Those spider-like threads would run up my arms and my desk and pencil were lost, though I still gripped my tests in hand. I woke up itchy and in a cold sweat. I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. I turned on my laptop and found that the internet was out, at least temporarily, so there was nothing I could do to hold me over until morning. I just lied in bed waiting for daylight. After some hours of staring at my ceiling from my bed, I became hungry and decided to head down to the kitchen in order to make a snack.

There was nothing but bread and butter, and all the butter knives were dirty, so I just ate plain white bread. Sitting at my kitchen table and staring out in the dark of the night through the window, I could see that the group of dark suited men were still rating buskers, the same buskers from earlier, who performed the same routines without fail.

I’ve been preparing for a Ye Olde SCA campout this weekend.

My technique in sewing medieval clothes without a paper pattern is a little involved, but I like being able to make a garment and have it fit perfectly the first time I put it on, without having to do a fitting even one time.

How do I do this? Two programs - MakeHuman and Marvelous Designer

- I made a perfect 3D model of myself in MakeHuman by using my measurements and height, following this tutorial

- I imported the creepily perfect 3D model of myself into Marvelous Designer.

- I took medieval patterns from the internet, traced them, and resized them to fit the perfect 3D model of me. Like this t-tunic.

or more complicated clothes:

- Cut out the fabric using the same dimensions, adding a seam allowance

- sew it together (correctly the first time, not wasting fabric)

The first time I made a t-tunic, it went over my head and fit perfectly. I made a t-tunic for my brother using this technique, and he didn’t have to be involved in the process at all except for putting it over his head and it fitting perfectly. 

The hard part would be cutting out the fabric for more complicated clothes, but with ancient/custom clothing like this, you’d have to find a way to do that anyway. With this program, you know at least that it’s going to fit your beautiful body, and there’s less chance of wasting expensive linen..

I was actually using this technique to make custom 3D clothing to fit a Skyrim character (a much more difficult and painstaking process), but then realized that the skillset of making 3D model clothes could be applied to real life. And now all I want to do is invent my own weirdly perfect wizard fashion clothes, or even just make custom normal clothes that fit me weirdly perfectly.

An Aquarius rolled over and slowly wrapped an arm around me. Her eyes opened and she smiled, leans to kiss me. She then to trailed her finger on my chest and said, “Good morning..” in her sleepy tone. She wasn’t always like this. She wasn’t into the whole touching, or being too cuddly but I guess she brought her walls down.

An Aries messaged me the other night, writing a long paragraph about herself. She admitted to having BPD, Dyslexia and having the mood to just push everyone away. She then wrote, “I don’t think I can ever say this to anyone else, but I’m hoping you’ll accept me for me. It took me enough time to tell you this. I like you.” And I knew then she brought her walls down.

A Cancer appeared on my doorstep one night, and she was carrying a bottle of champagne and two red box DVDs and I knew they were going to be some sappy movies. She hurriedly placed herself on the couch and ordered me to sit down next to her. I knew she was going to cry and I loved spending time with her every Tuesday night.

A Capricorn placed her hands on my chest and slowly massaged her palms on me. She looked at me with her beautiful eyes, and leaned to kiss me. Slowly her hands search for mine and she played with them as we kissed. Her kisses were so soft and reassuring, and she took the lead in every kiss and every pause. She loved me with her heart.

A Gemini took pictures of me every single day. She’d laugh at every picture of me and places it onto her shrine in her room. She used to take black and white photographs of things, but lately she’s been more vibrant and her photographs have more color and meaning. And she loved the feeling of being gone for a certain amount of time only to come back happier than ever.. She brought her walls down.

A Leo climbed ontop of me and settled herself on my chest, looking down at me. She started to make faces at me and busted out laughing. Laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks, and slowly she let out a soft smile and laid ontop of me. “I’m so sorry for being so silly. I got too comfortable..” She shouldn’t have apologized. I loved seeing her more open like that.

A Libra was browsing along some websites and brought her attention on some geek website thing. She looked over to me and gave me a smile, and then back at the screen. “You’re going to love me even more after you get this gift..” I was confused, and she just continued to browse the internet.

A Pisces and I left a diner one night, and took her home. I got a text from her and was surprised to see a long paragraph that said: “I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about a possible future with you, and this. This right now I’m feeling is all too new to me. You make me happy, you do and my goodness. I’m so lost, alot of things are in my head right now. Arrgh..” and I laughed and smiled at her text, and I knew she brought her walls down for me.

A Sagittarius admitted to me on our 4th date that she thinks alot, and how slowly and slowly as we have been dating she has added me into her plans, and have already has a picture about the future. She laughed and said, “I’m stupid for that, huh? I’m so sorry. I overthink too much. I don’t know, forget it. Forget it. Just hold my hand and forget it..”

A Scorpio bit her lip, and slowly rests her head on my shoulder and we just stood there in silence. It was really peaceful. She was the kind of person that wouldn’t stay quiet and had a lot to say, but she just stayed there and held my hand in hers..

A Taurus hurried herself to me, carrying a bunch of music records and some books. She settled us on a nearby couch in the store, and explained everything she carried and how each item shows some importance for her. I noticed a book and picked it up, and she quickly pulled it from me and smiled. “This was the book I was reading, remember? I lost my copy but this was the book I was reading, and you asked me..” and she looked at me with softness in her eyes.

A Virgo watched as the rain hits the window. The sound of her favorite song is on, and a cup of tea in her hand. She hears me walk towards her and her body seems to relax and at the right moment leans herself to me. She tilted her head to the side to face me and said, “I don’t think I’d ever want to lose this moment. So, uh, you better marry me now or else..” She laughed. She wasn’t always like this. She was reserved and cool, she was afraid of human connections and at this moment I knew that she has let me in, and brought her walls down for me.

—  Open Doors.
10

* Wait no let me do it again

First one I guess?? 01/06/17 Prompt: Storm Pairing: Klance

“Lance?” Keith poked his head into their kitchen and quickly scanned the room. There was still no sight of his boyfriend, who had disappeared almost an hour ago, about when the rain had started pounding fiercely on the roof. Keith hated to admit it, but he was getting a little worried. Next, he tried their bedroom. It was there that he spotted a lump under the blanket on the bed, all huddled away. He went and sat beside it.

“Lance? What are you doing?” he asked, confused. He had almost never seen his boyfriend act like this. It was uncharacteristic, to say the least. Lance refused to say anything, burrowing deeper into the covers. He flinched when the windows flashed, and a low rumbling of thunder permeated the darkness. Keith’s heart gave a pang as he sat next to Lance and sighed.

“Afraid of thunderstorms?”

“No,” came Lance’s muffled voice.”I’m just very comfortable in here.” His actions gave him away as the next roll of thunder had him burying his head below the blanket.

Keith didn’t quite know what to do in this situation, so he resorted to patting the Lance-shaped lump on the bed. “Hey, it’s alright. The storm will pass.” Lance didn’t move. Keith frowned. He tugged the blanket away from Lance’s grasp, fighting against his desperate pull. “Give me some room, will you?” he muttered, wrapping the cover around his and Lance’s shoulders and heads. They were pressed up against each other, safe in the embrace of the blanket. The next boom of thunder was almost rendered mute by the barrier.

Lance glanced up at Keith, eyes guilty. “Thanks, babe,” he whispered halfheartedly. Keith felt his heart give another lurch as he observed the fear hiding just under the surface of Lance’s eyes.

“Are you afraid of thunderstorms?” he repeated softly. This time, Lance nodded slowly, snuggling closer to Keith when lightning illuminated the room again. Keith could feel Lance’s pulse going much quicker than normal. Running his hand through Lance’s soft hair, Keith pulled his boyfriend closer to him under the blankets.

“It’s going to be alright,” he murmured. “It can’t hurt you here.” Lance said nothing. Keith cast around in his mind for something to distract him from the storm. “Hey, you know that dog we met yesterday?” he asked, shifting his tone completely.

Lance peeked up at him. “The black lab?”

“Yeah. It was really cute, right?”

“…Yes.”

“I was browsing black lab mixed breeds on the internet,” Keith grinned. “We may be seeing one in the house soon.”

That drew a chuckle from Lance. “You never could resist puppies.”

“Guilty as charged.”

Lance, meanwhile, had visibly relaxed in Keith’s arms. “Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely.

Keith shook his head. “I didn’t do anything. Puppies are magical.”

Lance drew in a shuddering breath, unable to smile as memories engulfed him again. “I just can’t stop thinking of a time, when I was younger, that lightning struck my family’s house. The whole…the whole thing went up in flames. We lost everything. It took so long for me to get over my fear of lightning.” He forced a bitter laugh. “Guess I wasn’t as over it as I thought.”

Keith traced his hand over Lance’s face, wiping the stray tears away from his eyes. “Lance, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Keith let Lance’s head fall onto his shoulder as he started to sob harder, emotions flooding over him. He cradled Lance and whispered whatever comforting things he could think of until the sobs had subsided into sparse sniffles.

Lance pulled back and wiped his eyes, avoiding Keith’s gaze. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

Keith gave a small smile. “Anything for the one I love.”

Lance’s cheeks went slightly redder than they already were. “That was cheesy, even for me.”

Keith leaned forward and gave Lance a quick kiss on the forehead, smoothing his hair back. “But I know you love it.” He kissed his nose, then his lips. Without giving him a chance to say anything, he whispered, “I think the storm has stopped.” A part of him was reluctant to say it, not wanting this moment to end.

Lance seemed equally reluctant to pull away. “Can we just sleep like this?” he asked, a yawn escaping his mouth. It made his nose crinkle, and Keith could feel his heart melting at the sight.

“Alright,” he chuckled, snuggling himself closer to his boyfriend.

“Thank you for being there, Keith,” Lance murmured quietly, nearly asleep.

Thank you for everything, Keith thought to himself, smiling as he fell asleep next to the one he loved the most in the world. 

5

I know Walt Disney told us it’s a small world, after all. But, sometimes the smallness just overwhelms me. That, along with coincidence, serendipity and dumb luck. I am not claiming anything. I’m just sharing how the little blocks in my head sometimes click together. I’ll confess right up front…I live a sheltered life; I can’t find my way out of a paper bag; I have no concept of how the other half lives. That being said, here follows my wonderment at the way the world falls together. I noticed yesterday that MM liked a photo that Bela Dayne posted on IG of a lovely overview of Capetown. I then did what most internet-savy people do. I clicked on Bela’s account to see what else she posted. From that, I learned that she had a farewell party in LA a short time ago, and that she flew into Capetown a few days later. She mentions that this will be her home for the next 6 months, so, she must be filming something. It appears that she, too, spent her Easter holiday at a winery. I guess if you’re an actor, and you happen to be in Capetown, that is a requirement. What I was amazed to find out was that there is also a rule about actors being in Amsterdam on New Year’s Eve. I certainly did not realize that the acting profession has such a regimented set of rules.

Originally posted by agk-guin