my insignificance

anonymous asked:

Hey, about the studying with anxiety. When I get anxiety while studying I usually like to take a moment to calm down and remember why exactly I'm studying. So I let my imagination run its course about what I want for my future and how incredible it is going to be. This usually puts in perspective how insignificant my anxiety is at this very moment and it stimulates my studying x

Thank you so very much for the advice!

If listening to night vale for like the past four years didn’t shape my cryptic, existential, and borderline nihilistic sense of humor then man idek what did

Things I really wouldn’t mind in season 15: a Church that is not dead and stays that way.

Things I could really do without in season 15: yet another season about Church, finding him / reviving him / killing him, etc.  Had enough, thanks, hard pass.

Seriously, though.  Church shows up in episode 10 (like you do).  No one is shocked by this, they’ve been through this shit before.  He gets a couple of nods, a hug from Caboose and a pat on the back, maybe Tucker tries to punch him for being an asshole, and that’s it.

“Don’t you guys want to know how I got here?”

“Kinda busy right now, dude.”

“Wai-you… but.  ….Really?  No one is curious.”

“Heard it before, Church.”

“Okay wait a-no you haven’t, this is different, I’m-”

“Don’t have time for it.”

“But I was totally badass, okay, saving the fucking day and bullshit, you can’t just not care-”

“Too busy, asshole.”

And Church spends the rest of the season sulking in the background.  And that’s it.  That’s all he does.

I have this problem where every time I make a mistake, no matter how insignificant, my brain immediately starts berating me: “Idiot!”, “You’re so stupid!”, etc. My therapist has been teaching me to recognize and counter these thoughts by following them with thoughts like…

  • It was just a mistake, everyone makes them. 
  • I’m not an idiot. 
  • I made a mistake, but I can fix it. 
  • What did I learn from this? 
  • If someone else had done this, would I think they were stupid? 
  • That was no big deal! 

 You don’t deserve to be called names, even by your own mind!

2

❣️Because of the thorns
A beautiful rose 🌹 can bloom
Dark red flowers 🌺 it means I love you
Even if I bleed everywhere I wanna know you
Cause I think about you err-day
I’m already addicted to you❣️🎵🎵🎶

So-called “social justice” that doesn’t have an ethical basis that respects the value of individual human lives isn’t any kind of justice at all. If your “liberation” philosophy treats human lives as expendable or as means to an end, there is nothing liberating about it and you are not doing any good.

And I know that my poetry usually makes no sense, it’s a thing called love that compels us to keep reading. Would you care to know why my favorite color is red? I used to have a friend named Kevin and it was his favorite color. He was the flamboyant and most colorful of us in the group. Popular with the ladies and loyal to his friends. I was the one in the backseat laughing to their thoughts when I really had none of my own. Maybe that’s why I enjoy writing so much. Maybe that’s why I love the color red. He painted his room red once, I remember things changing right around then. The drugs were getting a little heavier even with his teenage youth, the drugs will rip right through you. Painkillers will kill your emotions, you don’t want to feel a thing. I can relate to Kevin, I fucking love painkillers too. I shut myself off from everyone, but occasionally I enjoy the company. I’m awkward and my thoughts are kinda dim, so I always liked being around him. Are you familiar with the literary term foil? A foil is a character who contrasts with another character in order to highlight particular qualities of the other character. I feel like he was like that for me. I always saw myself as a little too blue, I wanted to be something worth loving, I wanted to be a little more like him, I want to kiss life into everything, I wanted to live, I wanted to be more than a shadow of a group of peers that did drugs and listened to melancholy and nostalgic techno after school hours. I don’t know how he’s doing or what he’s up to. The last thing I heard was he’s into needles now. Rumors plague this tiny town, we were raised from imperfections and we grew up to taste cigarettes that numb our gums. He had the kind of laugh that made you want to be his friend. It’s funny though, none of my friends initially liked me. Until they got to know me, empty and hollow, a sponge– the one who listened to the problems, never really any of my own. I get lost in my thoughts, I know. My poetry is scattered, I know. I don’t convey structure or rhymes, I don’t hide in between the rules. My words are more scribbles than they are truly masterpieces. Would you like to know why I write? I used to know someone that said the shoreline was like a bed and naps were always possible– she waited there everyday for inspiration. She would tell me the tiny stories inside of her head that had nowhere to go, it’s funny. I never really listened to her, I just enjoyed the company of love and to be loved. Love, what is it? When I wrote my first poem for her, I didn’t know where it came from or why I wanted to write it. I just knew that I had to write it. It had to be done. I had to read it to her. Let me tell you, if your first poem was a love poem, it was probably the most cringe thing you’ve ever created. Ever. Period. But still, I loved it. It was bad, but it had feelings. You always miss the feeling more than you do the person and that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever had to realize. It really shouldn’t be, but it is. You never really understand your mistakes until it’s just you. You only want them back when you’re alone. It’s been so long, I don’t keep track of the days anymore. Hell, she’s married now. I shouldn’t be writing this. She’s going to read it anyway. It doesn’t matter at this point. I guess she left poetry inside of these palms for good measure, she loved attention. A lot of it. The more, the better. Maybe I stopped paying attention. Maybe I got too comfortable. Maybe that’s why I love writing poetry, in a way it just means that I still love her. Lost kids who didn’t know how to love, another foil. You know, I never really liked to read books until I met her. She had a smile made from your doggy eared books, you know, your favorite line you always had to reread or quote during a conversation. She had the kind of laugh that made you want to get in on the joke even though you were the one telling it. I loved that laugh almost as much as I loved Kevin’s. I don’t talk to these two anymore, I don’t remember much about the memories, only the feelings that they left. You can’t find loyalty amongst pill users, they always use. Trust me, I know. I’ve been swearing off painkillers for months. You won’t find a love like that again because every relationship is unique in its own way. You can’t recreate the old flames with your new ones. You need to move on. I haven’t really lived life. Maybe you’re just like me. Maybe you’re stuck at a job that you don’t like and maybe life just doesn’t make much sense. So you blackhole more drugs to ease the disaster that is you. Nothing hurts, you just don’t want to remember anything that might hurt– right? It really shouldn’t be, but it is. I listen to music more often than I converse with people. Music influences my soul in a way that people cannot. I just turned 24, but I’m still a little confused about who I am. Does any 24 year old have their shit figured out? Do you ever feel like your dreams and aspirations are slowly dying? I’ve always felt like an old man. I’m boring and I don’t dance too much, the only thing good about me is my writing. It’s the only thing I’m half decent at, but I hate that too. I don’t answer anonymous questions anymore because I feel like my thoughts aren’t good enough. How can I help you if I can’t even help myself? Red rose petal poetry pressed onto the stove kind of writing– it really shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I’ll always miss the days when things were simpler. I didn’t care as much. I didn’t smoke as much. I didn’t think as much. It was just simple. No hard facts, just some stupid kids getting high behind a dark house and running into ghosts in every room. No broken hearts, just some teenagers who wanted to figure love out with a knife in hand waiting to hug each other. I’ll pry the knife real slow and we’ll call it love kind of love, ain’t it love? I love you doesn’t even sound right anymore, so I’ll say nothing. I miss my old friends, but we’ve changed so much– I wonder if they’ll even recognize me. My life is insignificant and minuscule, but we must all seek to find our purpose, to bring meaning to the clutter, and to add more fire to the chaos that is life. I don’t want to die angry, I want to die with a smile. You don’t get to do anything twice, you don’t get to correct your mistakes– so make enough for your self-reflection drunk nights. You don’t get to unlove people, so pick the right ones to fall in love with– don’t worry, you won’t need to remember all of their names, just the feelings. You don’t get to unfriend people, they’ll always be a part of you. A part of who you are. A part of who you will come to be. I keep slipping into the darkest parts of my mind and call it a life. I’ve been reading this book and it told me to dig deep. Why do I write? Why do I enjoy the burn of love? Over a few thousand poems, but 99.9 percent are indeed about love. Why do you want this kind of life? Well, darling– These words are as much yours as they are mine.
—  zero point one
horizon zero dawn // inspired starters

❛ you know what? when we met, i thought i was a big shot talking to a pretty girl hidden away in the middle of nowhere. ❜   
❛ try not to forget about me while you’re out there changing the world. ❜  
❛ i’m already under some heavy divine pressure. but i’ll try to live up to it. ❜  
❛ after all that’s happened, all you’ve done…i feel like i should drop to your knees and worship you. ❜
❛ for you sake, i must go where you will never find me. this is goodbye. ❜  

❛ i’ll always have a minute for you. maybe even two. ❜  
❛ i knew there was something about you. hammered from the stuff they make leaders out of. ❜  
❛ he’s smiling at us. ❜  

❛ i remember yelling that i didn’t care. ❜  
❛ you have to use your smarts to count for something, to serve life, not death. ❜  
❛ if you had had a child, what would you have wished for him or her? ❜  
❛ do you really not hear how ridiculous that sounds?  ❜  
❛ confidence is quiet. you’re not.  ❜  

❛ ha. it was just an instant, but i knew. i knew we’d be forever. ❜  
❛ i’ve done all i can. from here on out, the rest is up to you. ❜  
❛ there’s so much more to discover before the world ends.   ❜  
❛ the way you smiled…i had to look away or you were going to see. on my face. what had just… blossomed inside me, you know? ❜  
❛ as it turned out, it was your world all along. i was merely… trespassing. ❜  
❛ you just can’t leave me alone, can you? ❜  
❛ turn your face to the sun. ❜
❛ why is it, every time something terrible happens, everyone tells you the worst thing that ever happened to them, as though that makes it easier? ❜  
❛ no —- you don’t need to bow. ❜  

❛ the strength to stand alone is the strength to make a stand. ❜  
❛ what’s that now? don’t like the cold? ❜  
❛ welcome to my ravine of death.  ❜
❛ keep moving or you’ll die!  ❜        
❛ hey. my eyes are up here.  ❜  
❛ you defeated it…alone?  ❜  

❛ today i speak your name - but will the goddess speak it back? ❜
❛ you must be humble and respect their power. ❜  
❛ i’m here and wherever you go, i will follow. ❜  
❛ even a king can learn his lesson. ❜  

❛ we can still have a party, right? sure we can. ❜  
❛ what is that on your face? ❜  
❛ the wilds can be dangerous. you need to stay close and do as i say. ❜
❛ so? what do you say? how about we try and kill each other?  ❜  

❛ you’re still scratched up from the fall you did yesterday. ❜  
❛ what do you think i’m doing? taking a nap?  ❜  
❛ guess we can’t have everything.  ❜  
❛ so that’s what this is? a tantrum? a cry for attention?  ❜  

❛ never celebrate a victory before it’s earned. ❜  
❛ you’re bleeding. let me have a look. ❜  
❛ you’re an idiot. a dangerous idiot..but an idiot.  ❜  
❛ you were only chosen because you were a fool, too stupid to realize you were being used. ❜  

❛ not everyone follows the law like you do. ❜  
❛ take this, to … remember. ❜
❛ my fight. i can’t ask you to come with me. ❜
❛ you survived! i thought you were killed. ❜
❛ we have more important things to do than ask questions.  ❜  
❛ that could be the least creepy thing you’ve said to me.  ❜  
❛ rough going but you survived.  ❜       

❛ this attachment to me will only hold you back. ❜  
❛ you will turn back - or bleed. your choice. ❜  
❛ you can sense it. you already know you’re going to lose. ❜  
❛ i need to catch a breath.  ❜  

❛ you know, i often think of the day i gave you that scar. it’s a cherished memory. ❜  
❛ are you going to shut your mouth? because that would be a surprise. ❜
❛ it’s time to make your first kill. ❜  
❛ why are you talking like we’ll never see each other again? ❜  
❛ you can be a real lard sometimes. cut it out. ❜  
❛ i’m not afraid of you. i’m not afraid of anything. ❜  
❛ now if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to get some sleep. i plan to be well rested when i run you into the ground tomorrow. ❜
❛ not all comforts are bad. ❜  
❛ better dead last than dead altogether. ❜  
❛ no witnesses! no survivors! ❜  
❛ are you crazy? you’re going to kill yourself! ❜  
❛ i suppose you leave that part out of the story when you tell it, don’t you? ❜
❛ ugly and ancient? like your mother? ❜
❛ to answer for what i’ve done, the lives i’ve ruined? yes. i am ready. ❜  
❛ they can’t shoot if they’re dead. ❜  
❛ hello, old friend. remember me? ❜
❛ i’m more than a threat. ❜   
❛ i don’t think either you or i are ready for that. at least not yet. ❜  

❛ i’ll take that lunch. alone. ❜  
❛ i could use someone like you by my side. ❜     
❛ we still have so much to discuss. so much you never revealed. ❜

❛ you’re lucky i happened by. one half a heart beat more, and that creature would’ve torn you in half. ❜ 
❛ i crave vengeance, do you? ❜
❛ a bold claim. i wonder if you’ll live up to it. ❜  
❛ hmm. i love your hair. ❜  
❛ still alive. good. i have a more suitable death for you in mind. ❜  
❛ knowledge has its rewards, don’t you think? ❜

❛ he was a better man than what you’d ever hope to be! ❜  
❛ i’ll remember those words when i watch your corpse burn. whatever’s left of it. ❜  

❛ i will not be worshiped! i don’t belong to you! ❜
❛ impossible. i am chosen. this was not meant to be! ❜

❛ you don’t approve? well, i have a secret for you. neither do i. ❜  
❛ well, to start, you’re strong, shrewd and capable.  ❜  

❛ we must be patient. change doesn’t come in a sunrise.  ❜  
❛ they tried to break me. shows what they know. ❜  
❛ i should have been with you. why didn’t you come for me? ❜  
❛ may the dawn find you, the day warm you, and the dusk have light to guide your path.  ❜  
❛ the better man is the one who doesn’t end up with their steaming guts on the ground. ❜
❛ once one threat is dealt with, another one looms. ❜
❛ if i live or die, they’ll call my name. ❜  
❛ i don’t usually fight if i don’t have to, but if i have to, i want to. ❜  
❛ we’ve only met a few times and yet you know me so well. ❜  
❛ i thought you just wanted tea and conversation. ❜  
❛ i wasn’t expecting to find a half clad soldier singing like a drunk.  ❜    
❛ you don’t hear me laughing.  ❜
❛ i came prepared. have arrows enough to take down armies. ❜  
❛ it’s settled. i’ll fight by your side. my only request. ❜  
❛ the wrongness here jags at me like a ❜  
❛ tomorrow, may the sun rise on a better world. ❜      
❛ you can’t ask me to stand by and watch. not when i have the power. ❜    
❛ this isn’t home anymore. ❜  
❛ my will is like the oldest ice! ❜  
❛ your whole life was a failure, and soon no one will even remember you. ❜     
❛ will change happen, if men continue to live in palaces? ❜  
❛ i did say not to break anything, didn’t i?  ❜
❛ you should sleep, if sleep comes.  ❜        
❛ i kept thinking of the moment my knife pierced your throat. one twist, a simple tug of the blade, and you would bleed out. ❜  
❛ how can you sleep, with a weight like that pressing on you? ❜  
❛ i’m not here to intrigue you. ❜  
❛ no more playing around. you’re going to have to grow up. ❜
❛ no rest for the weary, huh? ❜  
❛ don’t worry. i’ll be there for you. ❜  
❛ to say you have my gratitude feels woefully insignificant. ❜  

anonymous asked:

does naruto trust saske? or does saske trust naruto? nah man, you all live on lies... 😂 I'm glad that hinata is married to nardo, she never underestimated him nh4ever

Are not you tired yet? How annoying you are.
I do not like to talk about what I do not like because I do not want to waste my time on insignificant things. But okay, you looked for it.

All I need is just manga scenes, no more.

I’m glad that hinata is married to nardo, she never underestimated him nh4ever 

Sure. (Read what Naruto says and what Sakura says)


Just look at her. 

Is that trusting Naruto? “Nah”. She definitely does not know him at all, she needs someone to tell her what to do. 

does naruto trust saske? or does saske trust naruto? nah man, you all live on lies…

I’m sorry, but… 




Do you notice the difference? Practically both understand each other in their own way, It is a balance of both. :)

Mistrust has always made Hinata hurt:

  • An example is when Hinata jumped towards Pain without hesitation because she swore that Naruto was going to die. What happened later? Hinata is the one who almost died.
  • Another example is in BTM, Hinata jumped towards Momoshiki without hesitation because she thought that Naruto was going to die again, and what happened later? She was injured and Sakura had to attend to her.

I always thought that Naruto needs someone of his level, someone he can fight with, someone who understands him… And that person is Sasuke, it will always be Sasuke for me.

His soulmate, one and only, fire, yin…

I definitely love the trust that Naruto and Sasuke have in their bond. Something that Hinata will never have with Naruto.

Now I ask you… 

Who is the one who lives by lies?

glitter paint & movie night

summary: your six-year-old daughter has an important question to ask bucky.
characters: female reader, bucky barnes, becca (6-year-old OFC), briefly steve rogers and natasha romanoff
word count: 2197
warnings: one f bomb
A/N: i suck at titles k so this is a little different from my normal thing, but it popped in my head so i decided to write it. i also named the daughter becca, after @beccaanne814-blog because tbh she’s such a great person and writer. she gives encouragement to SO MANY PEOPLE, comments on tons of fics, and then writes amazing ones of her own. so this is my small, insignificant way of letting her know that she is appreciated. <3


Originally posted by v-writings

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. - Richard Bach


It wasn’t until my back slammed into the mat for the fifth time in the past hour that I started thinking I needed to reconsider my hobbies. 

Natasha stood over me, strands of red hair hanging down in her face as she stared down at me. She had a satisfied smirk on her face as she offered her hand to help me up. Again. 

“You’re out of shape,” she said as I grabbed her hand. She took a couple of steps back, hauling me to my feet. 

“Fuck you,” I said, shoving at her shoulder. “I’ve been off duty for four months!” 

“Yeah, but you’d think you’d be in a little better shape. You were coaching little league soccer, after all.” She grinned at my scowl, leaning down and grabbing one of the towels we had thrown on the floor. She dried the sweat glistening on her face and neck. “But you went and got soft on me.” 

Keep reading

4

SHERIARTY ~ Young love gone wrong AU

“I was the shadow that faded in his light; always invisible before him… unwanted… unnoticed. And somewhere along the line, the silent admiration transformed to rage. I loathed what I loved. The realization of my insignificance became the impetus to become his equal - the other side of the same coin. And so.. I became the darkness that devoured all light."  - JM

"I’d never give him the satisfaction of knowing that every string of my violin sung for the boy who lurked in the shadows of the abandoned music hall.” - SH

you blow me away / i’m made of dandelion seeds / you’re a breath of fresh air / my legs are collecting blue and black / but i can’t recall anything to do with it / what’s it like not to feel you are an imposter? / am i faking mental illness? / am i faking attraction to girls? / am i faking attraction to boys? / am i faking it? / am i fooling myself? / i’m a victim of identity theft / who am i? / i wish i was a doll / i don’t think i should have any control over my actions anymore / i feel better when i go on walks / but last month i was too afraid to leave the house / i’m searching for needle answers in my haystack brain / i’m scared when i move out it’ll take me weeks to go buy milk / i’m becoming less functional / a machine left to rust / isn’t eyeshadow supposed to go above your eyes? / all i have are shadows underneath them / dark enough to get lost in / my friend is getting another abortion / her boyfriend’s dad punched him in front of her the other day / burst his lip right open / but i’m still crying over my own insignificant problems / i feel like everything’s about to explode / i bought a blue prom dress because my friends told me to / i wanted to wear red / i’m hunched over on the gravelly beach of my mind / i need to go inland / but i keep returning to throw myself into the icy waters
—  i wish my thoughts sounded more like music and less like a blender // L.H