my home gis

10

Three good points? First, you’re cool. More guts and charisma than ordinary guys. I fell head over heels for that. And also… second, you’re warm. Your true feelings are not too hot or too cold, just the right temperature. And… third! You know all those reasons yourself. That’s what I like. Since you know well about yourself, wouldn’t… you understand me as well?

2

Finally finished the artworks that I drew for pocky day :‘3

It looks like the internet was still off and the reparations for the internet modem that was should do on sunday was canceled due to the repair man hasn’t came yet to my home for repairing the problem (and the internet modem hasn’t being fix it yet and yeah that’s meant the internet in my home still off now (and I used school Wi-Fi right now wwwwwwwwww) I don’t know if I can still on at my home due to the internet problem that had been through now currently at my home, so yeah I still don’t know the exactly time when I can get on again in the internet ;w;)/)

2

Update: It’s been really hard to update because I am going through a lot of serious health problems and Michael cannot always update or be here at the hospital with me either as much as we wish he could. I fight my own battles and he supports me as I do. I see and feel all the support and I am beyond thankful and blessed for the support but please don’t pm us and demand updates for we cannot always give them. We are both overwhelmed and frustrated I am exhausted I am hurting and I am doing my best to survive. The doctors believe my sepsis was from viral bacteria since nothing grew on my cultures so we were able to save my central line from being pulled thankfully! The antibiotics have been wrecking havoc on my body. The sepsis seems to be at bay for the most part. However I started getting a lot sicker and then we noticed feces and blood in my venting bag connected to my g tube and feces/blood in my vomit as well but the doctors ignored this serious sign and sent me home last night ignoring the fact I was vomiting fecal matter and blood and am in excruciating abdominal pain. Today upon my gastroenterologist finding out that I am having such serious symptoms yet that hospital sent me home anyway my GI immediately direct admitted me to the hospital he follows at. So now I’m admitted in a different hospital and will be undergoing a lot of test in hopes of finding out what’s going on. I will be having an endoscopy in the morning under general in hopes of them seeing what’s going on. I appreciate the huge amount of support it helps me a ton to know I’m not in this battle alone. Please be patient for updates as I am battling a war against my own body right now I am doing the best I can. Prayers and positive vibes are much appreciated. I hope everyone is doing okay and I wish I could be there more for all my friends more right now but I have to do what I have to do. I will continue to try and find the light in the darkness and the rainbows in the storms. I am strong enough to get through this and I will never sink. I love all of you thank you all so much for the support I will try and update again whenever I can and whenever I have more answers. sepsis and whatever else is going on cannot keep me down I will get through this so I can continue battling all my chronic illnesses. If the only thing you did today was breathe then you’re doing an amazing job! Please realize I am seriously ill and have been in the PCU I am fighting serious things I do not have the energy to update or respond to messages as much as I would love to, I’m constantly blacking out and vomiting blood and my TPN can’t keep up with my fluid loss so I’m exhausted. I also have every right to be down about my problems or frustrated. I had to cancel a photoshoot I have been looking forward to for months and give my spot to someone else and I am dealing with a lot. Strength has nothing to do with positivity. Strength is crying and screaming and ask why me but continuing on anyway because I have to. I don’t want anyone to fight my battles for me. I just want support and understanding as I fight them myself. please stop saying you’ll come out of this better than ever or you’ll be fine and you need to stay positive or stay strong or stuff like that. I have multiple chronic illnesses I will always have them and they are never going to go away and that’s fine but I hate people saying stuff like that. I’m always going to be wheelchair bound and my digestive tract is always going to be completely paralyzed leaving me TPN (IV nutrition) dependent I will never be able to eat or walk again and I am going to have to continue battling sepsis over and over and all the other complications. It’s fine this is my life and I was given it because I was strong enough to live it. I know everyone means well but please stop because it’s just hurtful.