<b><p></b> <b>Friend, seeing my wallpaper:</b> hey does that say 'see you then' ?<p/><b>Friend:</b> Where is it from?<p/><b>Me:</b> .. uM<p/><b>Me:</b> there's this, uh, online book...<p/><b>Friend:</b> <p/><b>Me:</b> <p/><b>Friend:</b> u mean fanfic don't you?<p/></p><p/></p>
I feel like crying and shouting and ripping my skin off - no ripping my heart out to stop feeling. To stop loving people. Because I only f**king suffer and I can’t endure this anymore. It feels like the end is coming for me. I have so little strength left. I’m becoming powerless. I’m scared I will become numb. Just so I don’t have to feel all this pain in my chest.
So I decided to reread Twist and Shout, God knows why but here I am, and I got to the part where Dean and Cas are at Cas’s place eating the spaghetti. Then Dean saw the drawing of the lungs and then he asked what a pulmonary edema is and Cas answer that’s it’s fluid inside the lungs.
FLUID INSIDE THE LUNGS
I didn’t even notice this the first time because I was too busy sobbing my heart out
So every year my school has a mandatory 50s/60s themed swing dance and today was the swing dance. So I’m dressed up in a leather jacket and pretty much look like a greater from Grease or something and I’m dancing with my friend who’s partner ditched her. My friends has never seen supernatural. So we’re dancing, and suddenly a very familiar, painfully sad song comes on. Twist and Shout. I just stop dancing and look at the band. Because here I am, dressed in a leather jacket, on a THURSDAY of all days, at a 50s/60s themed dance. I had to excuse my self to go into the bathroom and cry because it’s Thursday, I’m wearing a leather jacket, the weather is beautiful and my heart was ripped open and torn to shreds by gay porn. My friend thinks I’m crazy.