my heart could never take that much want

“I got a chance to have a small conversation with her.”. She said. “She’s indeed nice. And she’s an interesting person.”. She continued, as she smiled a little. She knew what she has to say. She needed to let him go, and she knew only one person who could take care of him more than anyone else. Of course it will hurt her so much but some things never lasts the way we wanted it to. “I know you weren’t mine anymore. Or maybe you were never even mine from the very start. The moment I saw the two of you together, I knew then that I lost you already even if you haven’t told me about it yet. You know it hurts, but you have no idea how much it would affect me and my damn heart. Because it’s me, who will have to fight these feelings of mine, just to make you happy. Just to see you smile, I need to hide every little tear that’s going to come out. But don’t worry about it, I can do that—for you. Anything for you. I always do that, right? ”. She smiled as if she can’t feel any pain inside her. She wasn’t mad at him. She wasn’t mad at anyone else. She was just so sad she thinks she can’t say any word anymore. But in the end, she told him one thing she hoped he would do. She gently grabbed his hands and said, “Please do me one last favor. Please be happy. This time, please be really happy—do it for me. Will you? ”. Without waiting for an answer, she let go of his hands and walked away—without looking back. But with the acceptance that things between them will never be the same anymore.
—  ma.c.a // Love and Understanding
I’ve lost him once, I can’t lose him twice (Newt x Reader)

Pairing: Newt Scamander/Reader

Words: 3063

Warnings: Kinda angsty I guess

A/N: First imagine, I hope you to enjoy it  English isn’t my mother language so sorry if there are grammatical mistakes

Request: Nope, this is because I’m trash

PD: God, I got a lot of trouble and I had to erased the original account where I post this and made other, so stressful, but here it is again! (Sorry for the ones who read and comment the original, love you peaches )

It was like you were the world’s favorite joke.

Like, how many chances are to fall head over heels for your best friend, twice?

Maybe one in a million, and you had to be the one, funny isn’t it? Yes, it isn’t.

Or maybe you didn’t fall in love twice, maybe you just never stopped loving him. Newt Scamander was the cute loving Hufflepuff;  with floppy cinnamon hair, beautiful hazel eyes and a sky of freckles that played along with his breathtaking shy smile; you got the luck to met in your first year at Hogwarts, and you became best friends really quickly, it was almost like a click. You two lived uncountable adventures like escape to the forbidden forest or hide a Niffler in his dorm.

He was your happiness, and you was his. An unbreakable friendship, or at least that was what you thought until third year. It was suppose to be wonderful, finally you’ll be able to receive Care of Magical Creatures, just you and Newt and a whole world of your beloved creatures.

That was the idea, but then, Leta Lestrange came into your life like a tornado, unexpected and destructive. At first you didn’t want to make it a big deal,  trying to be a good friend and not to “monopolize” Newt, besides, by that time you were a little reluctant about your more than friendly feelings towards Newt, so you wanted to take it easy. The problem began when it wasn’t so easy to ignore how your escapes to the forbidden forest became hers, or when your dozens of hours of talking with Newt about whatever, became dozens of hours talking about Leta.

And it hurt, it was like feeling a Crucio curse over and over again, and after almost two years in the same situation, you couldn’t take it any more, and you two started to distance, and he became more and more attached to Leta, while you were suffering because of the realization that you had fell in love with your best friend, and you just lost him.

It was the beginning of the sixth year when Newt and you talked again, all the cabins at the Hogwarts’ Express were full, except for one, one you got to share with Newt, apparently Leta decided to spend the Christmas break at Hogwarts. At the begging there was a uncomfortable silence and a lot of stolen glances, then you started a really weird conversation,  but it ended in laughs, like the beautiful old times… But you had to screw it.

Maybe you weren’t in all your senses when you brought up the subject of you two, and then Leta, you just couldn’t stop talking, it was almost a confession about your feelings, telling him how much you had miss him, and how Leta seems unfair with him sometimes, that she was just breaking your friendship, but you felt relieved because you were you, and Newt was Newt, and he would never get angry at you, right?

Wrong.

He didn’t yell at you, but you could felt his distressed icy voice stabbing your heart.

“For Merlin’s Beard Y/N, you can’t just dump me whenever you want and then return telling me that my, actually true fiend, is taking advantage of me. Can you please, I’m begging you, let me be happy, can you?”

A silent tear fell from his cheek while he abandoned the cabin in a race, you really didn’t notice the tears rolling down your face without any control until the Express’s whilst wake you up, until it was too late to run after Newt.

~

It was the last time you talked to him, you even didn’t see each other, it was officially over, he didn’t care about you, and you didn’t have to either, but you couldn’t help but care, far, far away you kept an eye on him, to make sure he was fine, sometimes you would find him sleep in the library and put a blanket over him, or a hot coco in his desk, although, he always thought it was Leta.

And you’re fine with that,  looking after him in silence. But you must break that silencie when you found out he was being expelled. So you run.

You run as fast as you could. Even when the salty water blur your eyes, you kept running, trying to catch the train whose whistle started to announce its departure.

“Newt! Newt”

His head pop out of a window, his teary eyes widen at your picture, running out of breath after him.

“I never dump you! I never stopped caring! I will always care!”

A small smile appeared in his sad face, his soft eyes were seeing directly to yours “I will owl you!” He said before disappearing from your vision.

“I love you…”

~

And you didn’t see Newt for years, sometimes you owl each other, but it wasn’t constant, you just know he had became a Magizoologist, and you’re so happy for him, actually you worked in the same department as him in the Ministry of Magic, but you entered by the time he was already in some sort of trip, so you never saw each other.

Until you got a new work, apparently someone in your division who was writing a book of magical creatures, make some “minor” disturbances in New York during his trip, your assignment was to assist and monitor him.

Big was your surprise when you found out that your new coworker was no one but Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, your best friend, your first love, the one you have “recovered from”.

“Newton” you said with a high pitch of surprise.

“Y/N” he smiled with gleaming eyes “You can call me Newt, you know?” A playful shy smile was painted in his freckled face.

And from that moment there was that “click” again, but this time, you will do it the right way, you wouldn’t fall for him, so you wouldn’t lost him.

Except that you didn’t do it the right way.

You actually fall for him, again.

But how could someone not fall for the caring, loving, handsome, shy, fantastic, quirky and absolutely adorable Magizoologist?

And that’s why you couldn’t blame Tina for falling for him too.

Apparently Newt has the same feelings for her. So the story was repeating. But you’re going to be strong, and do it the right way, you couldn’t get distant with Newt, again, you couldn’t lost him.

But nooo, you suck doing the right way in this too. You sight as you see the hot coco in your mug.

“Oh hun, please stop.” Said Queenie, the poor legilimens who has been all the week listening to your useless thoughts because you have been remembering your story with Newt all over again.

Maybe it was because you sure was losing Newt again!

“Maybe you should talk to him.”

“I don’t know Queenie… you know I have already lost him… And I don’t want to do it again…” The blonde and you had met in your Hogwarts years, but only by letters, you got involved in a funny event where you send an owl randomly and you met someone new from every part of the world, Queenie received yours, since then you had been owling each other.

You were surprised but mostly glad when Newt returned to New York with you to make a visit to the Goldstein sisters, and find out that this Queenie was actually the Queenie you knew, because it didn’t matter if you haven’t met her in person until that day, to you, Queenie Goldstein was your best friend.

“Oh dear, you’re my best friend too! How sweet!” You blush slightly and chuckle, the bubbly character of Queenie always cheer you up.

“Newt will be jealous if he finds out!”

Your face fades a little, sure he was going to, but just because of friendship.

“Oh hun! I’m sorry I didn’t meant to… You… Well, I insist you to talk with Newt.”

You look at her, maybe she was right… Queenie was right most part of the time. The legilimens laughed. “Well thank you!”

“Yeah… Maybe I should talk to Newt about this, even if he doesn’t see me the way I see him, also some time together could bright me up!”

“Yes! Now got into that case!”

Now you laugh, it was feeding time anyway.

“Thanks Queenie! You’re the best!” you said before going into the case, jumping a little.

“Oh, I know” Queenie smiled, suddenly her face went pale and her smile faded.

~

You were in Newt’s small shed, rolling up the sleeves of your working shirt, when someone open the door that separated the comfy room from a fantastic world full of the creatures that you utterly love. The handsome magizoologist made his appearance being completely adorable.

“Hi!” you greeted smiling “It’s feeding time! Also, can I talk to you about something?”

“Um, sure” his lopsided smile appeared in his face. “But, erm, it’s just that I’ve already feed the animals, with Tina.”

With Tina.

“Oh…” by the corner of your eye you could see Tina behind Newt, holding hands with him.

“It’s okay right? It’s just, I needed to talk some stuff with her and… Merlin’s beard, a-are you mad?”

You were staring directly to the floor, trying to hide your face. “Oh… Oh no, Newt, i-it’s fine” you forced a smile to him “Honestly I’m like super glad, I was too tired today! Now that I don’t have anything to do, I will go up an rest. Bye!” You climb up quickly and run out of the building just to collide into Queenie, who was in the front door fixing her scarf.

“A-Are you going out?” You said cleaning your tears, it was useless to lied to her, she was a legilimens.

Queenie nod with a sympathetic smile. “I’m going to MACUSA for some papers, and then I’ll visit Jacob, do you wanna come?”

“I sure want to” you link your arm with hers and you to stared to walk, you really needed distraction.

~

The walk with the blonde really helped, you were amazed by the architecture of the MACUSA building, and Jacob’s pastries really helped lighten your mood, the owner of the bakery decided to walk you home.

So the five of you were currently having dinner in a, little, uncomfortable silence.

“You know? Y/N went with me to MACUSA!” Queenie exclaimed out of nowhere, you lift up your face with curiosity.

“Oh nice! Did you like it?” Tina smiled at you excited.

“Oh, yes, the architecture is very catching” you said shyly playing with a baby carrot in your plate.

“Well Y/N just looked  interested in architecture, but some Aurors looked more interested in Y/N” Queenie said with a playful demeanor.

Your ears went red.

“Queenie!” you scold ashamed.

“Oh! And then, at the bakery, a bunch of no-majs were thinking a little bit loud about Y/N too!”

Newt seemed to flinch, you looked at him with curiosity, why did he reacted that way…? Your mind managed to create a lot of theories and conspiracies.

Then you see it.

Tina’s arm had brushed Newt’s. That was why he flinched, because he was shy and cute, and skin contact with another human affected him in such a beautiful way…

“Yeah… I-It was funny” you smiled a little “Jacob’s delicious creations has already satisfied my appetite, so sorry” you excuse yourself and went to Newt’s and yours bedroom.

~

You went down into the case, just to stopped to see Leta’s picture, it still hurts that Newt has a photo of Leta but none of you…

A sigh scape from your mouth as you went to the Niffler’s cave, the little pest was so nice at you. The furry animal curled up at your chest when you carry him in a hug.

“Hey there buddy…” you said rubbing his belly, he made content sounds making you chuckle. “You know? I wish I could be a Niffler, to stole Newt’s shiny golden heart…”

You see the small creature as a tear rolled down to your sad smile.

“Why was Leta a better Niffler than me?” You sit against the Niffler’s habitat cooing him. “I mean, I understand that Tina is a better Niffler, she is so cool and badass and just… I dunno, although Leta was badass too… Maybe it’s because I’m clumsy sometimes? Or do I cry too much?” you looked up to the sky “I’m a terrible little pest… Maybe I should have stayed away from Newt, I would like to run away…”

The Niffler make a little squeak, afraid of losing you.

You chuckle hugging him more “But I have you… And all the creatures, the case… Everything… Newt…” you sight while your voice cracked “Newt… Why did I had to fall in love with him…?” you cried, stressed “At Hogwarts I thought It was just a crush, but all this time, I never move from him, what does that means? That I will love him forever?” You lift up the Niffler trying to figure out an answer.

“I certainly hope so…” a well-known voice said behind you.

You froze.

Slowly, but like, really slowly, you turn around to see Newt’s head pop out behind the Niffler’s tree.

“O-Oh my god… I didn’t, I-I wasn’t… I… I…” you covered your face trying to hide your shame, the Niffler run into his shiny cave, like giving you two some privacy.

“Y/N…”

You looked at him, making the effort to not break at his sight “I-Im so sorry, I-I didn’t meant to ruin our friendship, and I don’t want anything to change! I know you would never liked me back and that’s why I never told you! We can just pretend you didn’t heard anything!” you smiled, in an attempt to be strong.

“I’m tired of pretending, Y/N…”

Your heart broke a little, the fear running through your veins.

“S-So… Y-You want me to disap-”

Newt interrupted you abruptly.

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not in love with you, Y/N.”

Your eyes widened as you opened your mouth in surprise. “Y-You… You what?” Were you dreaming?

“I’m completely in love with my best friend, with you.”

“But you and Tina…” in your mind, this wasn’t making any sense.

Newt sigh walking in front of you, he helped you stand up holding you close to him.

“Yeah, that’s true, I was attracted to Tina, and also to Leta, but it’s not like what I feel for you, and I thought they could make my feelings go away… But they couldn’t, and I didn’t notice how much did it hurt you…” you could notice the glossy regret in his eyes as he caresses your cheek. “I… Queenie show me your letters to her… The ones were you told her how sad you were when Leta came, and how you cared about me in silence even though I always thought it was Leta, I also notice the marks of tears in the paper…” he sighed “Oh Y/N… I’m so sorry, I was so… So confused, and mad, because when I decided to tell you my feelings you started to get away, and I thought it was because you’re tired of me, and that you could never love me… But I didn’t realize I was the one that was pushing you back…”

You wanted to say something, but all this information gathering into your brain was to much to stated an understandable sentence, so you just stared directly at Newt’s eyes, at those beautiful green sea eyes that shines with a hint of ambar like a sun.

“And I didn’t notice either that it was happening again… I don’t love Tina… She is a really good friend, she was helping me to get over my feelings with you because I couldn’t take it anymore and I didn’t wanted to lose you…”

Newt looked directly in to your eyes, you move your hand softly and stroke his cheek, then in a delicate movement you pinched his cheek.

He flinched at the sudden attack. “What was that for?”

“I wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming…”

A little smile spread across your face as Newt’s thumb cleaned away your sad tears.

“Y/N I-”

You cut him off, brushing your lips against his in a subtle, sweet movement, like an invitation for a dance, which Newt gladly accepted when he placed his hands around your waist, pulling you as closer as he could and shutting down his eyes to concentrate in the feeling of your lips, as the beat of your hearts started to race, the rhythm of the dance became more passionated, you and Newt had a perfect synchrony, the perfect match.

As the dance finished and you two pull out to breath, it was everything understood. You and Newt smiled to each other in a silent agreement. He pull you into a hug, ready to live the love you two have deserved for so many years.

Neither of you were going to lose each other, never.

You and him, started dancing again.

The end.

Bonus:

“Why don’t you have a photo of me like Leta’s?”

“Newt?”

Newt sight as he searched for something in his peacock blue coat, the he suddenly take out a A6 sized album full of photos of you two and just you.

“Oh…” you blushed.

“Wait, I think I have other photos here” he searched again, making you chuckle.

“Oh! You really love me, don’t you Mr. Scamander?”

“Just a smidge” he said with a happy flattered smile.

~

Omg it’s my first fanfic ever xD I hope that it was okay and you had enjoyed it, pls tell me what I could do better! Thank you guys I really love this fandom! (Yeah, I’m kind of new in HP community, but so far it’s beautiful ) Be a limited edition in this world full of cheap copies! And remember, your existences matters.

how bts kisses you ☆

Seokjin
lovingly. wherever you look, there is not a place where you can’t feel him behind you. he takes your hand and twirls you, admiring you, so focused and in love with all the pieces that made you whole. he’s not shy - he’s unapologetic and kind, prompting you to never change a thing and always showing the world how much you mean to him. you gave him the greatest confidence, and in return he gave you a honest warmth where you could rest your tired mind and lie your heart in. safe and sound, next to him, wherever you’d go. 
“I don’t want you to leave my side.”

Yoongi
 ↳ slowly. cupping your face with both hands, gently bringing you closer to him.
his thumb moves to caress your cheek after, not wanting to let go just yet. his eyes are widened in slight disbelief at the sight of you - raw and real and there, just for him. but there is a sincere smile blooming on his lips, and it shines more than ever - he knows it is the reflection of yours, which brings that light to him and comforts him like nothing ever could.
“You never fail to make me happy.”

Namjoon
selflessly. his presence, his movements, his smile, they are all glowing with adoration for you, for what you’ve built together. forever so attentive and caring towards your every word, never rushing - he is so grateful. not once you had any doubts, and you’re reminded each time you find yourself in his embrace, as he intertwines your fingers with his and holds on tightly. your pace is his pace, your heart is his and so his is yours.
“I’ll always be here.”

Hoseok
reverently. none of his movements emphasise anything but the utmost respect for you, wanting to shower you with his affection, his love and everything else your heart desires. his smile is not easy to maintain - the energy that could fill a thousand suns can drop a second after arriving, and to recover he doesn’t want to listen - he wants to feel. he takes your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing each of your fingertips, marvelling at how you gave him so much strength merely by being there, by being you.
“Thank you for making me go on.”

Jimin
↳  passionately. your lips make a path down to his collarbones, his stomach, his thighs, and soften all of his edges. perfect, perfect, perfect - it races in your mind all at once, and you try to express it through every inch of your being, as words could never be enough. he lifts your chin and threads his fingers through your hair and you can feel his quivering breath, his doubts. you try to silence them and lie your head in the crook of his neck, going beyond all in, all for his happiness, and he closes his eyes, feeling them water. God, how he loves you.
“I can’t believe you chose me.”

Taehyung
spontaneously. at the end and beginning of the day, it’s just the both of you, strolling together and chasing the sunrise. he sighs, longing for the place the light arises from, and he knows where to find it. he comes up behind you and laces his arms around your waist, bringing you close and lying his head on top of yours, his kisses covering you whole. you laugh softly, and he’s watching you like you are his entire world, yet just by hearing his tender heartbeat you feel like the universe is at your fingertips.
“Don’t you know how radiant you are?”

Jungkook
↳  fervently. he clutches onto you, shaking and breathes you in. there’s too little time, so he savours each second for as long as he can - he’d never take something as precious as the moments with you for granted. a shiver goes down your spine, and warmth spreads through you as soon as you meet his gaze. you’re not sure if you’ve ever known what love was, but looking at his eyes, shining with emotions clashing against each other all at once, intense and soalive, soul and body, there was no mistake highlighting its true meaning.
“I’m scared of how much you mean to me.”

+ ☆ SEE → how monsta x kisses you here

Thoughts on the madness

I know absolutely everyone and their mothers have done this, but I also wanted to write what I enjoyed the most about WTTM

  • Hey yes I’m an otayuri shipper and I will focus this onIS YUURI’S MOM PRAYING TO VICCHAN AFTER YUURI MEDALED?!?!?!!?!??!!?!?!? AND MAKKACHIN IS THERE TOO THIS IS SUCH A TENDER MOMENT I’M SO GLAD THEY INCLUDED THIS
  • Yuri leaning on his right hand when talking to Yakov and Lilia is one of the most aesthetically pleasing things I’ve seen in a while
    • LILIA BARANOVSKAYA WITH HER HAIR DOWN AND BEING THE PROUDEST OF YURI!!!!! I love Yuri and Lilia’s relationship so much! I wish they’d expand more on them next!!
  • OKAY, lemme start on the otayuri. You see, when you *don’t* care about things, your brain tends to not look up for them, right? And when you *want* or *like* something, you start seeing it everywhere, right? Well, there were so many people at the hotel lounge and it was a big distance, YET, Yuri saw Otabek walking as if he was subconsciouly looking out for him.
  • MASUMI SAN MADE AN APPEARANCE
  • “You are only 18 yourself!!” YURI PLISETSKY, 15-ALMOST-16, UNDERSTANDS THAT PEOPLE OF 18 AREN’T REALLY ADULTS
  • Otabek is such a kid lmao, running away from Yuri after he said his age seems like a responsible choice, but for me that’s so childish haha, like, “oh no, he’s a child™” rotfl honestly
  • Yuri screaming they are done and then remembering he needs someone to bitch it’s best friends forever behavior right there AND IT’S BEEN 3 DAYS
  • I LOVE FRIEND GANGS AND NOW I NEED 764985745 FICS OF MILA, SARA, MICKEY AND EMIL PARTYING
    • Sara Crispino doesn’t have time for your bullshit and will set a Czech guy to lift you if you mess up with her crew
  • “Maybe Otabek feels bad because he lost to you”, “Who cares, I’m his friend” the contract has been sealed, Otabek should have read the finer print tbh
  • LEO DE LA IGLESIA AND OTABEK ALTIN ARE FRIENDS CONFIRMED I’D LIKE TO THANK LIFE AND JESUS
    • Leo is a stalker confirmed
  • Yuri “I hate you all and will destroy you with my knife shoes“ Plisetsky accepted talking and interacting to people he’s not friends with only to find Otabek. Imma be real, I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t want to get into someone else’s pants AND YET
    • I’m sorry but it’s confirmed that ALL skaters stalk Otabek on a daily basis, 100% canon, confirmed, don’t touch me
  • My heart got broken because Chris’ heart is broken
  • Georgi doesn’t have Yuri’s number I CACKLED
  • YURI PLISETSKY WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL TO PUT ON CLOTHES THAT HELD MEANING TO OTABEK, THEN TEASINGLY SHOWED THEM YES SURE KID, THAT’S FRIENDLY BEHAVIOUR, SURE
  • it’s been 3 days and they have already mastered the ‘talking through the eyes’ bff thing, do you see the chemistry or do I need to pull out the periodic table and slap your face with it
  • Otabek’s smirk™
  • Yuri opening up to Otabek and talking to him about his skating. This is again what I love about them the most, that Yuri knows Otabek respects him above all and can confide him with what he treasures the most, his skating.
    • Yuri never asks for advice and he’s asking Otabek for advice.
  • Yuri‘s body language. He’s already very intimate with Otabek and leans on him when talking. Otabek doesn’t seem to mind.
  • Otabek’s second smirk™
  • “I didn’t want things to end awkwardly between us” the fact Otabek thinks this could have happened breaks my heart, he is so desperate for Yuri’s friendship but doubts himself a lot.
  • “That’s the Yuri I most want to see” take this platonically or romantically, I don’t care, but sometimes you love someone SO MUCH, you only want them to succeed, be their best and let them inspire you as well. Otabek’s feelings for Yuri are so pure and ask for nothing in return but to let him see.
  • “I realize that this is probably just one moment. One brief moment in my long life to come. But like hell I’m gonna let this one moment control me. And… If I can just trust… That what I love is the key to my salvation… Then I can be reborn as many times I like on the ice.”
    • FUCK
    • HOLD ME
    • The last part is so beautiful and sweet and appeals to my poetic needs like you guys can’t even imagine. I don’t care about the rest of the manga, this is what I’m treasuring and remembering♥♥♥ About the first part, Yuri is not only passionate about skating, he loves it, he belongs to the ice, he wants to devote himself to the ice as long as he can. This reminded me of episode 4 when he said he only had a short time frame to make history and how could you not love and respect such a passionate person like him♥♥♥ This is why Yuri Plisetsky is my favorite character.
  • Am I the only one who when saw the bad scanned manga thought Yuuri was trembling when lifting Victor and cackled loudly? No? Just me? ok
  • Intensely eyefucking your best friend of 3 days:  ✔️
  • Not having any damn idea what I’m getting myself into but I can’t let you down because I set the bar way too high after that soldier’s eyes line: ✔️
  • This needed more JJ am I the only one with JJ needs after this?
  • They didn’t plan to pair skate in advance. The glove was not planned. I shall repeat myself: Taking the glove off with his teeth was not planned.
    • WHAT DID YURI HAVE IN MIND WHEN HE STUCK HIS FINGERS THERE, THEN
    • HOW DOES OTABEK KNOW HOW TO TAKE CLOTHES WITH HIS TEETH AND NOT BITE IN THE PROCESS
      • CAN HE DO THAT WITH CONDOMS
  • Please read this post with what little I wrote after because this is what I thought of the presentation in general. More or less, I believe WTTM portrays their future relationship in an interesting way.

if u read this u deserve a kiss

This is a backwards love poem.
This is a–fuck, you fell in love with me and
I didn’t want you to and I’m bad
at setting boundaries.
This is a–I feel guilty when I talk to you
even though I know your feelings are not
my responsibility.
This is a–I’m not used to being on this end
of the problem
poem.
The worst part about all this is that
I recognize the look you’re giving me and
I know what it feels like and I wish
my heart weren’t so tied up in fisherman’s knots
so that I could give you the answer you’re looking for.
But I don’t know anything that scares me
half as much
as being loved does.
This is the part where I put space between us,
not because I want to, but because I don’t know
how not to. My version of being careful
with your feelings includes
ducking out in the middle of the night
and never coming back.
It involves turning a bad memory
into an exit wound
and taking off with blood on my hands.
The problem is, I don’t expect anyone
to ever fall in love with me, but
I keep trying to fall in love
with everyone.
—  IRRATIONAL FEAR OF BEING WANTED by Ashe Vernon
You’re Safe Here (Dean x Reader)

Requested by anon.Enjoy!

Originally posted by im-in-trbl

“What’s your ideal husband?”

“I like a man that’s a mystery, someone that doesn’t talk very much, those are the ones that are the most affectionate. I prefer to just cuddle than talk, I like a man that knows what he is doing, he is not afraid to take risks and get touchy feely. I think it’s because i’m not good with words so touching is my way of showing affection.”

————————

“What’s your ideal wife?”

“I like a girl that’s more of an acting than talking. Someone that delicately sexy, I like a strong gaze in a woman. Someone tha'ts silently having my back and even though she will talk shit in front of me, she will cut someone that talks bad behind my back. A dynamic duo”

————————

Getting to be with Hyuk was something that you felt blessed about experiencing. He was pretty much the man of your dreams, the chemistry you had was over flowing and everyone that watched the show could see it. From silly missions, to random actions of affection, like playing with your curly hair, to teasing the other but then hugging them cause you felt bad. It was a relationship you wish you had without having to sign a contract and cameras following you.

You were a bit sad that it was the last episode of We Got Maried, it meant that you and Hyuk would have to go your seperate ways. You would go back to your job as an actress and he would go back to singing like an angel.

“Keep them close”

“If this is a sick joke, I will beat you until you bleed”

You threatened him as he carefully covered your eyes, so he won’t ruin your eye make up. He guided you somewhere and then stopped you. You could feel the curiousity bubbling up, you were tempted to rip his hand of from your eyes to see what he was hiding, but you knew it was something he had probably worked hard for and you didn’t want to ruin it for him. So you just bit your lips and patiently waited for him to reveal his surprise.

“1,2….3”

a beautiful set of a couch and a big tv was set right in the garden, you could already recognize your favorite snacks and the fluffy blankets that were perfectly folded on the side of the couch. One of the most brightest smiles reached your lips, you even showed your teeth, you rarely did that because of your insecurity of your crooked front teeth.

“Aww Hyuk, this is beautiful”

“Come on, I picked the best movie”

He took your hand and sat next to you on the very comfortable couch. He passed you the pink blanket, knowing that it was one of your favorite colours and he kept the creme coloured on for him. You took of your shoes and put your legs up to get cozy.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes”

He pressed play and his song “bonnie & clyde” reached your ears, catching you off guard. You turned to look at him confused but he didn’t even turn his head towards you, so you forgot the idea about him giving you an explanation. They were clips of the show, mixed with clips form him m/v, that caught your interested but made you even more confused, you were never the patient one.

“I’m so happy you were my wife. You were a lovely partner and great company, i’ll miss your weird laugh and your savage comments. I hope my wife can be just like you, I hope I made you feel happy and was a good husband to you, cause you deserve the perfect one. You are my ideal wife”

You read this in the screen and you could already feel your heart full of love. You never knew he felt like this, your relationship was more of a goofy one, you never expected this from him. It was such a loving gesture that you appreaciated very much.

“Ahhh why you had to make me cry?”

You turned away and carefully wiped the corners of your eyes. It was the first time that someone did something so sweet for you, you didn’t reallt know how to take it or how to respond.

“I didn’t want to make you cry”

“Happy tears”

You said as you faced him again with a smile. He saw your watery eyes and he couldn’t help but feel kind of bad, even though he knew you were not hurt, but just over emotional. He just reached for your hair and pulled them away from your face and over your shoulder, he always liked how you looked without hair on your face, he wanted to see your whole face on it’s entire glory.

“I’ll miss you too”

“It was fun wasn’t it?”

“Very much…. maybe too much fun. Look at us, all sappy and shit. You already know that when this airs everyone will think were are dating”

“Probably, I don’t blame them. Who wouldn’t want to be with a woman like you?”

You giggled at his compliment. You sat inches away from him, you really did hope that you could keep him in your life, although you didn’t know if that was possible, your careers might be both on the spotlight but they were based of from very different things. You acted on impulse and gave him a hug, resting your chin on his shoulder as he slowly rubbed circles on your back, making you feel comfort and some type of affection.

“I won’t do it. I won’t do it”

You whispered to yourself, in a desperate attempt to make yourself hold back the tears from starting again. You always had that thing of avoiding to cry in front of others, it just made you feel like you were making them pity you.

“I won’t look, you’re safe here”

“Thank you for a wonderfull marriage Hyuk, I never took the chance to thank you for this”

“Don’t thank me, you deserved every piece of it”

You pulled away from him and pulled all your hair back, you never thought that coming to this would make you feel so much for a guy. He really was what you exactly wanted.

“I have a suggestion, instead of leaving the rings, we switch them. You’ll have something from me and i’ll have something from you”

You just nodded. You both took of your “wedding rings” and gave it to each other. You immediately put it on, since it fit you, but he just kept it and put it on the pocket of his flannel.

“Now we have something to keep us together”

Fic Rec: Fic That I’ll Read Over & Over Again

•         Love Is A Rebellious Bird

•         Wild And Unruly

•         If You Asked Me If I Love Him (I’d Lie)

•         baby we could be enough (i’ll make this feel like home)

•         If Tomorrow Never Comes (We Had Last Night)

•         Sing When You’re Winning

•         Unbelievers

•         Naked & Proud

•         Nicotine

•         Loving You Is Free

•         Want you to want me

•         Absolutely Still

•         for now (and forever)

•         These Roads We Stumble Down

•         Take My Breath Away

•         Cold

•         why don’t we go there?

•         I’ll Crash Until You Notice Me

•         These Constant Stars

•         To the Ends of the Earth

•         Behavioural Ecology

•         my heart is breathing for this moment in time

•         After Hours

•         so keep my candle bright

•         So Much We Didn’t Say

•         like a boomerang

Read more for summary

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

For the four word prompt, "Are you fucking insane!?". Love your writing xx

As Harry pulled his car into his driveway, I felt my nerves acting up. He was taking me to his house for the first time in our short relationship. Obviously, his house was much larger than anything I’d ever been in in my life and the sheer size of it blew me away.

“Hey,” He says as he puts the car into park, drawing my gaze away from the house and back to his bright green eyes, “It’s just a house.”

I swallow and nod, “You’re right, I’m being ridiculous.”

He smiled and got out of his seat, quickly coming over to my side to open the door, “You don’t have to do that, you know, I can open my own door.” I say as I get out.

“I know,” He says and closes the car door before carefully backing me up against it, hands on my waist, “I like doing it though. It’s more for me than you, really.” He presses a kiss to my cheek before backing away and intertwining our fingers.

He let’s go of my hand while we’re in the garage to unlock the door and I find myself wandering to the corner of the room where his motorcycle sits. I run my hand over the handlebars and the leather seat, intrigued by it. I’d never seen Harry ride it and I imagine as I stand there biting my bottom lip that I would enjoy the sight very much.

“You like it?” Harry’s voice in my ear startles me, causing me to jump back as I hadn’t heard him approach.

He chuckles as I playfully whack him across the chest, “Christ, could you warn me next time? You’re gonna give me a heart attack.”

“Sorry,” He says and wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my shoulders, “Do you want me to take you for a ride?”

I smirk and turn a bit to face him, laughing through my words, “Are you fucking insane?”

“What?” He says, feigning offense, “Are you scared?”

“Of course I’m scared.” I turn back to the bike, “It’s a death trap.”

“Is not!” He says indignantly, “I’m a very safe driver.”

I’m still looking skeptical so he steps around me to grab a helmet, putting one on his own head before handing one to me. I stare at it, but don’t take it. “Come on, it’ll be fun.” He coaxes, “You know I’ll always keep you safe.” He’s straddling the bike now and I feel my resolve crumbling.

He’s still holding the helmet out to me and I finally break into a smile before taking it.

“That’s m’girl.” He says as I put the helmet on and I can’t help the butterflies in my stomach at the endearment. I’ll never fully get used to being his, I don’t think.

I get on behind him and tighten my arms around his waist, “Easy there,” He chuckles, “I need to breathe, you know.”

I immediately loosened my grip, relieved he couldn’t see my cheeks redden, “Sorry.” I murmur.

“S’alright, love.” He says and then starts the motorcycle. If he says anything else, it’s lost in the sound of the engine. I try to keep my grip lose, but as the bike speeds up I instinctually tighten around him and I feel laughter rumble through him with my cheek pressed to his back.

I can’t deny that as I got used to the bike, it started to feel a little like flying and slowly, I loosened my grip around Harry and started laughing as the wind whipped my face. As we neared back to his house, Harry took the bike down a hill and I lifted my arms out to my sides like wings, laughing the whole way.

“Hey!” Harry yelled over his shoulder in alarm, “Stop that! You’re not Kate, I’m not Leo, and this is not the Titanic!”

I continue laughing, but wrap my arms around him again as we reach the bottom of the hill and then Harry’s driveway.

“What the hell were you thinking?” He exclaims as he he shuts off the bike and dismounts, his face furious, “You could’ve fallen off!”

I pull off my helmet and shake out my hair, “Oh relax, don’t be a buzzkill.”

He looks exasperated and then steps closer to me… and then closer still until he grabs my chin and searches my eyes. “What are you looking at?” I try to push his hand away, but it remains firm and his face softens.

He chuckles lowly, “My God… you have an adrenaline kink.”

I really shove him away from me now, stuttering and turning red, “I do not!” I insist indignantly.

“Love, your pupils are properly blown out, I can barely see any of the color.” I’m still frowning at him so he comes closer to me and wraps an arm around my waist, “It’s okay, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We can’t help what turns us on.” He has a cocky smile on his face and I turn away from him, flooded with embarrassment, but he grabs my wrist and turns me back to him, “Hey, come on, I’ll just have to take you on the bike more often.” And he grins mischievously and squeezes my bum before pulling me into the house.

And after the things we did in that house, I didn’t think I’d mind if he took me on that bike everyday for the rest of my life.

In the Dark

Rating: T (just for a kiss and references to ‘’that month’’)

Warnings: Fluffy? but not OOC; I actually made up a whole plot to justify the characters’ behavior. (that I didn’t write because the day when I’ll write a novel length story is yet to come)


It is a cold, bitter December night, not the anniversary of that dreadful night but unpleasant all the same. Ciel’s treacherous mind wanders back to similarly cold nights spent behind cold iron bars and the soft silkiness of his duvet starts to feel more and more like the harsh bile and spittle-covered wooden floor of a rotting cage. He can’t sleep.

“Sebastian,” he hears himself murmur into the cold night. “Come here.”

Mere moments later, the onyx-swathed form of his butler comes into sight. He can barely make out the silhouette, faintly illuminated only by the violet glow emanating from his right eye. He knows Sebastian is there but he still has to consciously fight the urge to crawl out and cling to him, to demand countless reassurances that he is not back there, that he can’t be hurt anymore.

“Yes, my lord?” The butler asks, in a deeper, much more feral voice than usual.

“Lie with me,” Ciel commands.

Unlike usual, Sebastian doesn’t stall, doesn’t suggest a cup of honeyed warm milk as a suitable replacement to his presence, doesn’t lie stiffly above the covers. Instead, he pushes them back after deftly removing his own clothing and settles under them, pulling Ciel against his shirt-clad chest in a gesture that’s almost warm, if it weren’t so fiercely possessive.

“Tell me a story,” Ciel demands, hands clutching at the other’s shirt so ferociously he might just tear the cloth off.

“Oh,” an amused sound of surprise escapes the butler. “And what kind of story would the young master prefer?” he inquires, rubbing soothing circles along the boy’s back.

“Tell me a tale of ravenous demons and greedy humans with nothing but their soul left.”

Sebastian complies. “Once upon a time,” he starts, “there was a small child who was faced with much undue suffering. He prayed to the heavens for salvation, but the lord paid him no heed. In his last moments, just before his life was ended by the mindless cruelty so ubiquitous in humans, he managed to find enough strength to save himself.”

“And then?” Ciel prompts, comfortably nuzzling against his impending death.

“Then he met a demon, a demon so entranced by the beauty of the child’s unwavering persistence, by the sheer, raw strength of his will that he formed a contract with the boy, promising him his service and unending loyalty until the child fulfilled his ultimate desire,” Sebastian says, leaning closer to brush soft lips against Ciel’s brow.

“That's… a highly sanitized version,” Ciel remarks with a bitter laugh.

“Well, we wouldn’t want to spook the young master, now would we?” Sebastian replies with a chuckle, smoothing errant locks behind Ciel’s ear.

“…It was always so dark, back then. It makes me forget sometimes—”

“No one will ever hurt you again, young master, not for as long as I am here.” Sebastian interrupts with a harsh growl. “I would slaughter them all over again, were it possible.”

Something, maybe the way Sebastian’s gaze flashes red while he speaks the words, maybe the fact Sebastian can’t lie to him either way, maybe just whatever small part of childish naivety that month didn’t rob him of, makes Ciel believe him completely.

“You wouldn’t have a meal if it weren’t for them.” Ciel states plainly, wistfully running a hand along Sebastian’s jaw.

“True enough, but you are so much more than a simple meal, my young lord.”

“Is that so?” Ciel questions with an impish grin. “What am I then, Sebastian?”

“You are mine,” Sebastian says, as if stating a simple fact. He presses a kiss to the tip of his nose, “Mine to taint,” another to the corner of Ciel’s mouth, “mine to break,” yet another to the opposite corner, “and mine to care for, if I so choose.” Finally, he kisses the boy full on the mouth, feels the impossibly soft lips, and delights in the eager, albeit somewhat clumsily inexperienced, response he gets.

Just like every other touch Sebastian gives him on nights when the past refuses to stay buried beneath thick layers of maggot-infested dirt, the kiss helps him, grounds him, tells him that he still here, still alive. That—and not some base urge intensified by his pubescent mind—is why he responds eagerly, letting Sebastian thrust his tongue past his lips and explore the warmth inside.

They yearn for decidedly different things, the boy and the demon bound to him, but, at least to Ciel, the hunger in Sebastian’s eyes resembles his own need for something solid to clutch to more than ever. He understands, Ciel thinks, astounded. He knows, that’s why he…

“Stupid demon,” Ciel says the minute Sebastian’s mouth leaves his own, but, even to his own ears, it sounds much more like an endearment than an admonishment. And for once, he finds he doesn’t mind at all…

The butler doesn’t answer, simply looks at the boy some more.

“…thank you, Sebastian.”

“Am I to assume the young master is unwell?” Sebastian asks, pressing the back of his hand to Ciel’s brow.

“No, I feel quite well, as a matter of fact.” Ciel responds, a look of bewilderment settling on his countenance.

“I apologise, then, young master, but since you went as far as to openly display gratitude…”

“Bastard,” Ciel grouses.

“I humbly beg your pardon, my lord.” Sebastian chuckles, going back to rubbing mindless patterns along Ciel’s back.

After a spell, Ciel speaks again. “I don’t fear it, you know.”

Sebastian’s hands still. “Don’t fear what, young master?”

“The day you’ll take my soul.”

“Young master…”

“You wanted to, I could sense it.”

“I would never—”

Ciel reaches out, putting a hand where Sebastian’s heart resides. “I know,” he assures. “I know, Sebastian, don’t worry. And if anything, I’m glad that’s how my life will end.”

Sebastian smiles, and clasps Ciel’s hand. “I made a much better choice than I could’ve ever hoped for, all those years ago.”

“You saved me, all those years ago.”

Sebastian’s hand moves to softly caress the lid of Ciel’s right eye. “Not many would regard it as salvation, little one.”

“Not many would cling to a demon for comfort.” Ciel retorts with a mild flush that the demon can see clearly in spite of the dark.

“Indeed.”

And so, in the dark, framed by eerie shadows, in the arms of a ravenous beast, Ciel Phantomhive sleeps soundly.

… … … … … …

A/N: I really like this one.

If you want me to write a story for you, just send me an ask. (Nothing sexually explicit, though.)

The Prince of Egypt  {Sentence Starters}

  • “I will not be the weak link!“
  • “Tell me you didn’t do this…”
  • “Have I taught you nothing?“
  • “What do you want with me?”
  • “Well, you are rather pathetic.“
  • “Though hope is frail, it’s hard to kill.”
  • “You’re playing with the big boys, now.“
  • “I… didn’t mean to cause you more pain.“
  • “There can be miracles when you believe.”
  • “Untie this rope! I demand you set me free!“
  • “And your problem is that you don’t care at all.”
  • “You’ll know what power is when we are done…”
  • “I will not be dictated to. I will not be threatened.“
  • “So everything I thought, everything I am… is a lie.”
  • “Don’t worry, nobody will even notice us coming in.“
  • “Don’t worry, down there! We’ll get you out! Hold on!“
  • “Ah! Well, that makes everything FINE then, doesn’t it?“
  • “When all you’ve got is nothing, there’s a lot to go around!”
  • “Now you know the truth, love; now forget, and be content.”
  • “But I AM showing you all the respect you deserve… None!“
  • “Sometimes, for the greater good, sacrifices must be made.”
  • “I have nothing I can give, but this chance that you may live.”
  • “Many nights we’ve prayed, with no proof anyone could hear…”
  • “But there is one thing he cannot take away from you: your faith.“
  • “When the gods send you a blessing, you don’t ask why it was sent.”
  • “How could you have come to hate me so? Is this what you wanted?“
  • “I figured it out. You know what your problem is? You care too much.”
  • “So, how can you see what your life is worth, or where your value lies?”
  • “Then let my heart be hardened, and never mind how high the cost may grow!“
  • “Why is it that every time you start something, I’m the one who ends up in trouble?“
I wanted too

Jughead Jones x Reader


“JUGHEAD JONES THE THRID” I screamed making my way down the slightly crowd hallways of Riverdale High. Glancing at me from his locker, he slammed it shut and ran in the other direction. “Y/L/N, don’t kill the poor guy” Archie, joked calling after me as I started running to try and catch Jughead but as I rounded the corner the hall was empty. “Asshole” I muttered, heading outside instead trying to spot our usual group at one of the tables.

“You’ve almost got steam coming out of those ears” Kevin, tried to joke as I stomped my way towards our group of friends. “Have any of you’s seen, Jones?” Using his last name to state how pissed I am. “What’s wrong?” Betty, asked pulling me down beside her, her face full of concern. “Never mind” I sighed, resting my arms on the table, stealing some fries off Ronnie’s tray. I didn’t want to burden our friends with something so petty.

Over lunch I kept an eye out for the beanie clad, raven haired boy I’m so keen to see but there was no sign of him anywhere. Betty, filled us in on what her and Jughead had found out so far but could sense the worry and fear that her father may have killed Jason because of Polly but that’s something only time will tell. When the last bell finally rang, I hadn’t seen Jughead around since before lunch and he wasn’t in any of my last three classes but it was safe to say he was definitely avoiding me.

Archie, was making his way down the halls straight towards me, his face neutral. “I’ve been instructed to send you to the Blue and Gold office” He told me, placing his hands on shoulder and spinning me back around. “Why? I’m not being interviewed again” I sighed as we walked side by side. “Definitely not that” He hummed, a small smile on his lips. “Can’t you just tell me?” I whined as we took a left at the end of the lockers. “Nope” He full on grinned, stopping us in front of the Blue and Gold office. “Open it” Pointing to the door, warily eyeing him before I grasped the door handle not sure what I was expecting to see.

“SURPRISE!” I screamed, almost falling into Archie who grasped my shoulders stopping me from doing so. There stood Betty, Veronica, Kevin, Cheryl and Jughead in the centre of them holding a birthday cake. “Guys!” I exclaimed, I wanted to kill Jug for this, he promised not to do anything or get me anything but his thoughtfulness didn’t stop my heart from filling with warmth. “I could kill you” I voiced my thoughts, blowing the candles out. “We never got to sing happy birthday for you” Kevin, pouted taking the cake from Jug. “Thank you so much for this” I smiled up at my beanie clad, raven haired boyfriend placing a quick but gentle kiss on his lips. “Happy birthday princess” He smiled, leaning his forehead against mine.

After everyone sang happy birthday, which pleased Kevin, we sat around laughing and joking and eating the best cake I have ever tasted thanks to Ronnie, who had it flown in from New York. It felt nice to be laughing and enjoying ourselves for once, it was nice to just sit and be teenagers for awhile.

“I still have the present you left at my door this morning” I smiled at Jug, everyone else debating about something or other. “You really shouldn’t have, you need to save all the money you can Jug” I scolded, given he’s just lost his home and job, I didn’t want him spending any money on me. “This didn’t cost me a thing. Open it” He grinned, watching as I brought the neatly wrapped box shaped present out of my bag. The conversation between the rest of them coming to a stand still.

Ripping the paper apart like a child I was confused when I seen a box filled with writing, possible quotes but I wasn’t sure from what or who. “Oh my…” I gasped when I seen the contents of the box. There was a couple of poems, movie tickets, a milkshake keyring along with a burger and fries one, notes that had been past between us in classes. I was speechless, this was a memory box of our whole relationship so far. “Jughead” a tear sliding down my cheek, quickly wiping it away to try and stop anymore from falling. “It was nothing” He shrugged, everyone sitting quietly watching our interaction. “I can’t believe you did this” I was still at a loss for words, I never knew Jughead could be this romantic. “I wanted too. I just want you to know how much you mean to me because I fucking love you” He smiled, taking my face in his hands, kissing my nose, my forehead and a quick peck on my lips. “You guys” Betty, finally spoke. “End game, I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it” She smiled, quickly glancing at Arch and then back to Jug and me. “I fucking love you too” Kissing his cheek. “The writing on the box is just a few things we’ve said to one another” Jug, said picking up the lid and sure enough if I squinted really hard I could make out some of it, this box wasn’t only filled with memories on the inside but almost every conversation we’ve ever had on the outside. “You’ll be the death of me one day Jughead Jones the Third”.

“YOU”
You. You came into my life slowly and then all at once. And I can’t lie I sometimes think about what life could be like with just us. But honestly I’m scared. Scared to think of what the future might have in store for you and I. Hesitant to move forward in fear of our paths no longer connecting. I’m so on &I’m off. Sometimes I feel like the signs are clear and then something throws me off. And I start to think, I guess you’re used to things like that. I’m sure every person you come across treats you right because it’s clear you’re the wife me up type. But I guess that means the effort I put in May sometimes go unseen. To you it’s a normality. To me the realm of factuality is what holds me back. Scared that instead of a blessing you’ll be a lesson. And that in reality you…you were sent by those who want to see me break. Those cruel souls that allowed me to see the path of love but lead me to a dead end. And then counter factual thinking begins to play instead. Every thought lead to a different what if. Thoughts that pulled me back when I wanted to give up. Thoughts that made me want to run when I would start to picture a happy future ahead. And so I deleted the thread but you wouldn’t leave my head. So much time spent with you but was any of it true? I became so infatuated by the idea that you might be the one that I overlooked the truth. I prayed to god that you wouldn’t turn out like the others. If I had my druthers in time you would be mine. I can honestly picture a happy life with you by my side. But reality isn’t one to hide and the truth can be hard to deny. And then I stop and think who am I to define what you feel inside? All these thoughts kept in mind. And now I’m left perplexed trying to figure out if you could ever be mine despite the many signs. And yet I wonder from where does all this hope derive? You given me so little rarely ever met me in the middle. Still here I stand with all my cards at hand. Some may call it stupid or naive, call it whatever you please but I’ll wear my heart on my sleeve and take rejection instead of deception. Or could I be your one exception? Tell me that you feel a connection and I swear everyday you’ll be my selection. Your wants and your needs will never be of objection. But if there was a misconception I couldn’t terminate this friendship. You mean much more than these feeling that I hold. And I want you to know that you’re worth whatever the road has in store. Be it good or bad I wouldn’t take it back. Even if I’m just a story to tell or a chapter with the end, I pray those memories never fail to bring a smile to your face. And when you look back I hope happiness is the only feeling you get. But until then I plan to make it so you never forget no matter how many attempts. Cuz my only intent is to give you the best. But until then the rest is yet to be said…

Fanfiction - Stealing Tomorrow (Chapter 4)

A little earlier than expected! As I’ll probably be busy on Friday and didn’t want to keep you waiting for long…:)

Chapter 4 – They All Come Rushing Back

Broch Mordha, 14 years and 9 months ago

“Are ye ill, mo ghraidh?” Jamie asked, his brow furrowing in concern. They were in her small cottage, eating bowls of fragrant pasta that Jamie had cooked for them. “Ye are verra quiet this evening.”

“No.” She gave him a weak smile and drank profusely from her glass of water. “I’m alright.”

“Something amiss, then?” He insisted, searching her eyes with his as to force her to make eye contact with him. “I can see something is troubling ye.”

“Fine. Just tired.” Claire replied shortly, playing with small bits of garlic with her fork. “Long day in the clinic.”

“No, ye’re not.” Jamie said and she noticed the tension on his face. “I’ve seen you tired to the point of falling asleep on your feet during that gastroenteritis outbreak last month – and ye were never like this.” He touched her hand and winced as she slowly retreated from his grasp. “I’ll respect your desire of not telling me – but please, dinna pretend everything is fine.”

Claire exhaled and slowly raised her eyes, meeting his – anger, sadness and confusion shone in her whiskey coloured iris.

“If you want to know,” She said with some asperity. “Laoghaire came to see me today. She had plenty to tell me.”

“Och, aye?” Jamie nodded, expectant. “What did she tell ye, then?”

“That you have been fooling me since we met.” Claire said in a hoarse voice, clenching her hands together near her plate. “That our relationship is nothing but a dalliance to you – something to entertain you during the summer, until I go back to Edinburgh and you take up with her - again.”

Jamie’s mouth was slightly ajar, as the small blue vein on his temple throbbed furiously.

“The lass must have lost her wits!” He grumbled, pushing away his own food, having obviously lost his usually insatiable appetite. “I knew she was a little soft for me – for helping her with the brute that is her father, I guess – but this is ridiculous!”

“Is it, Jamie?” Claire blatantly looked away. “Can you honestly say she means nothing to you – and that I’m not just…a distraction in a boring summer in the village?”

“How can ye even ask me that?!” Jamie roared, his fists closing. His blue eyes were blazing and his entire body pulsed with rage. “Are you suggesting I’m playing you false?”

“You didn’t answer the question, Jamie.” Claire hissed, her cheeks blushing with fury and her curls curling madly around her face. “Avoiding simple questions usually means there is something to hide.”

“Must I tell you with words what I have been answering you with actions from the day we met?” He clenched his teeth. “Must I tell you that – no! – I haven’t been fuckin’ Laoghaire behind yer back?”

“She knew an awful lot about you.” Claire raised from the table and started to throw dishes into the sink. “She knew you have a small scar on the inside of your thigh – I’ve barely seen it myself, only noticed it when we went to the lake.”

“Probably the exact same reason why she knows it too.” Jamie rubbed his knuckles against his forehead in despair. “Not because she has been in my bed!”

“Laoghaire loves you, you know.” Claire clashed her hands against the kitchen counter, speaking in a broken tone – hurt and afraid. “She has known you all your life. She is the type of girl everyone here expected you to marry – I’m aware of what they say about me. Foreign. Outlander.”

“Stop this madness, Claire!” Jamie almost yelled, coming to stand next to her. She could feel the urge that moved him, the intensity of his eyes fixing her. “I love you, mo nighean donn. Your words of distrust wound me more than your wee scalpel could. Do ye not know that I have but one heart – and ye are the sole master of it?”  

“I can’t bear the thought of you touching her!” Claire shouted, her hands grabbing her own hair. “I can’t bear the way she said you name in front of me! If you must leave me – do it now. Before there’s not enough of me to live when you’re gone.”

Jamie was breathing fast and came to stand behind her – his palms next to her waist, but not quite touching her.

“You’re killing me, Claire.” He almost sobbed in a husky voice. “You are the breath of me, the spark of my body. Away from you I have no air – no heart, no life. Maybe there was a time when I could be with Laoghaire…” He bent his head and pressed his forehead in the hollow between her shoulder blades. “But now there is no turning back. Ye have marked me and made me yours, mo chridhe. And I shall remain so for the rest of my days, whether when I’m inside ye, in the brink of touching ye or a thousand miles away.”

“Jamie…” Claire whispered, her body relaxing against his. “I’m scared. I’ve never been so happy in my life – and so afraid.”

“Tell me.” He pulled her closer, gluing their bodies together. “Tell me all your heart – as I’ve told you my soul.”

“I want you so much.” She turned inside his arms and hugged him by the waist, their lips almost touching. “Will you have me?”

She could feel his heart beating under the palm of her hand, rushing – not from anger any longer, but from anticipation. From tenderness. From desire.

“Are you sure?” He kissed her palm and then her temple. As an answer, her hands came up to take off her blouse.

Their lovemaking was slow and tactful – after being so honest with each other, they felt vulnerable and exposed. Sometimes one of them would be a little rough, just enough to seal their claim on each other – just enough to find that ultimate redoubt where they have been hiding. It was not a battle for dominion or possession – they had established their peaceful surrender to each other – but a fight to merge together until no doubt could be raised, ever again.

“Will you come with me to Edinburgh?” Claire asked in the darkest hours of the night, when they laid together, sated and tranquil. “I know it’s too much to ask.” She was caressing the soft hairs of his stomach, a roadmap to the secrets ahead.

Jamie moved slowly, reaching for his jeans that laid forgotten on the floor. From his back pocket he withdrew an envelope, which he presented to Claire.

“What is this?” She nuzzled his hand.

“My request for a transfer from Glasgow University to Edinburgh’s.” Jamie’s eyes were intent and limpid. “I shall be where you are, Claire. I canna leave you.”

They kissed, passionate and hungry, their tongues seeking each other to celebrate their pact. And when Claire finally laid her head on his chest, slept lulled by his heart calling only for her.

****

Edinburgh, Present day

At the sight of Joe walking out of the sliding doors that led to the OR area, crumpling his blue surgical cap on his hands, Claire jumped from the chair where she had been sitting for the last couple of hours.  

“How did it go?” She asked impatiently, searching his eyes for tell-tale signs of an unfavourable outcome, and slightly relaxing when she saw the good-humoured wrinkles around his golden brown eyes.

“It went smoothly, LJ.” Joe smiled. “Your man is strong as a bull. He’ll pull through, I’m sure. The orthopaedics team is still in there working on his hand.”

“He is not my man.” Claire grumbled as she awkwardly hugged Joe, silently thanking him for taking care of Jamie. Joe was a trusted friend and had been an irreplaceable support over the last few years - his agreement to accompany her to Edinburgh and to integrate her team had been decisive in her acceptance of the proposal to return to Scotland. “I should be there when he wakes up from the anaesthesia.”

Joe offered her a knowing look, with a hint of reproach.

“You should take care of yourself, doll.” He shook his head and raised his sketchy eyebrows. “Go home and take a shower. Clear your head away from here - and think exactly what the hell are you going to say to him afterwards. Not that I wouldn’t agree with you punching him, but that spleen was hard work.”

“We have said plenty already, Joe.” She sighed. “I’m not expecting – not sure I even want to – anything to happen. We will fix him and send him back to the life he chose.”

“For a man that broke your heart,” He brushed her jaw in a tender gesture. “He cares an awful lot about you too. Kept asking about your life right until he dozed off from the drugs. Seemed afraid that you had someone…special.”

“The bloody gall of the man!” Claire growled, outraged. “I could be shagging the entire Scotland Rugby Team and he still wouldn’t have any right to say a word about it!”

“The entire team?” Joe snorted. “You are one lively brod LJ, but not sure even you could handle it – besides, you’d never see the inside of an OR. Not really time to do anything else.”

“Oh, shut up!” Claire jokingly pushed him with her elbow. “You are missing my point.”

“No.” He stopped and grabbed her by the shoulders, suddenly serious. “You are missing mine. You are my friend, LJ. A lovely woman – only second to Gail - and one hell of a surgeon. But I still remember you from when we met, those odd years ago – how you smiled so often and how joy seemed to follow you everywhere you’d go. If you have the chance…can you do something to find that girl again?”

****

The closet door in her bedroom hung open like the entry to a mysterious cave, where jumpers and jeans plotted together in her absence. For the first time in a long time she felt the pull of it – the box religiously kept behind her rarely used summer hats and beach towels, ever present yet distant from her everyday thoughts.

With her hair still dripping from the shower, she walked to the shelf and stood there, breathing deeply, trying to gather her courage – she could still recall its contents with her mind’s eye, as clearly as the day she had put them there to rest. Biting her lip in reluctant decision, she stood on tiptoe to get the box down and sat on the floor with her legs crossed.

Once she took the lid off, the smell of old paper and dried flowers floated to her nostrils, as if she had managed to successfully bottle the aroma of her happy days. God, sometimes she could almost doubt she had been so happy – if not for the undeniable photographs of them together, smiles that reached their eyes and joined hands; if not for the nagging pain that lived in the back of her mind, ever-present, all-consuming.

Inside the box were plenty of photographs – the older ones from their first summer together in Broch Mordha, Lallybroch and the Highlands. Pictures of them together laughing, eating pizza snuggled on the couch, kissing in bed. Images of her, which he had captured when she was unaware, smiling above her shoulder to him or peacefully asleep on the curve of his arm. A couple of Jamie, standing by the lake with his hair moist and a huge grin on his beautiful lips.  A succession of small sized instant photos of them together in a shady photo booth in Edinburgh on their anniversary, her sitting on his lap, complete with an array of hilarious faces. There were letters there too – Claire saw Jamie’s crocked handwriting and her old stationery. No point in reading them, though – she knew each one by heart, the written words imprinted in some secret part of her that never agreed to let him go.

And finally she saw it – amongst all those broken pieces that fitted together to create a perfect image of them - what she had been looking for all along. A sob caught in her throat as she reached inside and closed her fist around it – and for the first time in almost ten years, Claire held her wedding ring on the palm of her hand.

1st time whoring

So, yesterday was my first official foray into being a proper sissy whore/prostitute. I posted an ad on Craigslist, the sissy hinting ground lol, and got quite a few replies, but one really stuck out. He asked if I would be up for taking on himself and 3 of his friends. They, apparently, have a small group that like to get together to fuck sissies, twink bois and T-girls. I was a bit hesitant at first, as if never taken on that much cock before. If only ever had 2 guys at once,until now, and that was only once! So I told him all this and he replied that he’d put as much coke up my nose as I wanted, as well as poppers, and that he’d give me $200 if I could take them all until they were all satisfied and I was properly used up.
At this point my heart is racing! This is truly a sissy dream come true! But it’s also quite intimidating. Then I remember, as a truly submissive sissy slut, it’s my job to use myself to please alpha/dom men. So, I agreed.
They got the hotel room and had it all set up before I got there. Toys, lube, etc.
I came in in my latex hood, slut collar, black pvc corset, knee high fuck me boots, latex mini skirt and fencenet thigh highs. My clitty was locked up properly with a urethral tube firmly inserted as well. I also arrived with a pretty pink jeweled plug in my ass.
They got right to it and proceeded to take turns fucking my holes while verbally degrading me….it was truly heaven and I was spinning!!!
When it all ended they were so nice and helped me clean up and walked me to my car. We have plans to do it again in the future, but no firm date set as of yet…but needless to say I’m dying to do it again!

I Know I Shouldn't (Part 1)

Loki x OC

Warnings: language, violence



I have a thing for the trickster god.

I shouldn’t, I knew better, but I’d never had much self control. That had always been my downfall, my father had told me that.

Keep reading

I love her //Shawn Mendes

“You told me you were happier with her but you want me to stay.”

~~~~~~~

The moment Shawn Mendes walzed into your life was undoubtedly the best, You shared a bond nobody could understand. Not even you.

Every moment spent with Shawn, felt like an eternity. He was one of those people who never failed to make you smile, every time you were together you were sure your heart would burst with happiness.

Soon months turned into years, and Happiness and fun turned into jealousy and hate. You see, Shawn loved you. As a bestfriend, a confidant, a little sister even.

He didn’t fall for you the way you fell for him, and you fell hard. So when he announced his girlfriend to you, it felt like the heavens were punishing you, you never should have let Shawn in.

Faked smiles, fake happiness. Shawn eventually stopped talking to you, he never tried to reach out anymore. You would by lying if you said it didn’t hurt you, because fuck it did. So much.

You should be the one Shawn loves, the one who gets to see him at his worst and at his best, be there for him no matter what, love him with every bone in your body, she’d be the one who got to mother his children, got to be his wife. Not you.

Why would Shawn Mendes love Y/N Y/L/N?
It didn’t make sense, because who would choose a daisy in a meadow of Roses?

Shawn was so oblivious, You didn’t bother trying to talk to him about it, or explain your feelings because would he even care? He had her. She is all he needs. You aren’t important anymore.

When Shawn stopped talking to you, so did your mutual friends, Brian, Ian, Leah, Rayah, Tim and Lyall. You were the one who introduced them to Shawn, your friends were the second thing the stole from you, your heart being the first.

Matt was there with with you, helped you, You could never thank Matt enough for staying with you after everyone left. He knew that you loved Shawn, how could he not?

Matt was like your older brother, You could tell him anything and everything. He knew about your feelings for Shawn before you did.

So now here you are. Inside Shawn Mendes’ Condo, about to Spill the secret you’ve kept locked inside for so long.

“Y/N?” Shawn asked groggily, I probably woke up him, but I didn’t care. I came for one reason and one reason only.

“Look Shawn-” I started, My voice wavers. A clear indication that I’m scared. Hurt and nervous.

“Shawn I- I love you.”

His face pales. And his warm smile drops.
I have fear in my stomach, I already know what he’s going to say, I’m not ready to hear it.

“Y-Y-YN, you love me?, love love me?”

I almost laugh. Almost, I swallow a sob.
“I’ve been in love with you since we were 12! But you didn’t care! You still don’t care, because you have her! And I can never, ever be what she is.”

I swear I heard my heart crush, Break. Snap.
When I meet Shawn’s eyes. Tears form at the surface. He lets one slip, then two, then three and so on. Soon he’s a sobbing mess.

“Y-N, I-.” I cut him off, scared of what he’s going to say.

“I love her Y/N.” that’s all it takes before I let it all out, 6 years of emotions bubbled to the surface. I knew Shawn could never love someone like me, why would he?

“But I don’t want to loose you! You’re my best friend I’ve known you since we were 12, we’ve done everything together, been through so much. I- I can’t let you go.”

I scoff, “Shawn if you don’t love me let me go! Please, I need to find someone else!”
I beg, Shawn has me under his Spell.

“I-I can’t. I need you. But I love her.“

Last Time

 Sebastian Stan x Reader

Word count: 1541

Author’s note: when the letter is in cursive and black is because there is a flashback.

Originally posted by mylastlove-mylastsong


She was sitting on the hallway, seeing the people walking, some sad,some happy. In wich group did she belong to? The sad ones, maybe worse, she was feeling like The World was collapsing. She needed somebody by her side, she needed him, but he was lying on the hospital bed in  the room in front of her.

The only person that could make her feel better and support her, was the reason why she was  empty, scared, worried, sad, angry with the world.

Y/N’s phone started ringing, Chris was calling, he left less than an hour ago, he spent almost as much time in the hospital as Y/N.

“Hey Chris” she tried to sound fine, but that was something impossible.

“Hi, how’s he?” she could hear the sound of drawers opening and closing in the background, he was probably looking for some clothes.

“Asleep, like the last hours, God Chris I need him to wake up,if…if he doesn’t…” she couldn’t make herself to continue.

“Everything is going to be ok, Y/N, don’t worry, Sebastian will wake up, just give it time” not even him could believe his own lie.

“He doesn’t have time Chris, he’s barerly alive, I honestly don’t know if he’s gonna make it.The doctors…they said that he should have woken up three hours after the surgery,it’s been two hours since that.” Chris tried to calm her, to not make her say thoose things “I just…I just want him by my side again,you know?”

“Yeah, I know, we all want him by our side again, no more than you, that’s for sure, because after all you are his wife.”

“I’m going inside, when will you be back?” it was better with someone with her, even if that someone was not Sebastian.

“Two hours tops”

“Ok, bye” she hunged up befour Chris could speak.

She got up from the floor, with slow steps she got into the room. There he was, her husband, weaker than ever, tubs all over him, asleep, in critical state. She breathed heavily and sat on the chair beside the bed.

“Hi…” surprisingly her voice was calm “I…I don’t know if you can hear me, maybe you can and maybe you can’t and then I’m just talking to myself, to fill this room. But if you can then this words would mean something, it’s not like I’m talking about something important, I’ts just…I don’t know I just want to talk to you”

Despite being in so bad conditions, he looked paceful, more than she could ever remember.

“Look at you, you still can look handsome even at your worst” she smiled while she was talking, she wasn’t happy, it was a sad smile, the only one she could pull out at those moments.

“I don’t know if these are going to be our last moments, In case they are, I want to remember our life together, so I’m gonna tell to you our little fairy tale…”


By the time they met, Sebastian just finnished filming “Captain America: The First Avenger” and she just got her fisrt job as a graphic designer after finnishing the university.

Y/N was more than happy to leave her job at that coffe shop for the new one, she finally could work at what se most loved.

It had been a week since Sebastian was back in New York, it was 8 a.m, when he entered the coffe shop near his apartment, he was never there befour, he would usually go to Sarbucks, but that day he fancied that place, with no reason.

The place was practically empty, only a few persons inside, at the bar was just a girl attending that had the back turned to him. He aproached her.

“Sorry, miss?” she turned at the hearing of his voice, a wide smile was on her face, she usually smiled at costumers but today even more because it was her last day.

“Good morning, what would you like, sir?” that man was an amazing view for her eyes.

“Sebatian please, I’m not used to people calling me sir” he smiled back.

“So…Sebastian, what would you like?”

“I came here for a coffe, but I changed my mind the moment I saw you…” he looked at her badge “Y/N”.

She started to worry, did she do something wrong?, she always tried to make her costumers happy. Her face turned into a worried one.

“Calm down Y/N” he laughed “I do want a coffe with milk,please, but It’s also true that I changed my mind when I saw you…because you have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen” she smiled at that coment, it wasn’t the fisrt time that a costumer told her she had a beautiful smile, but it wast the first time that her cheeks started to burn at the hearing of it and also no one ever told her that she had the most beautiful smile they have ever seen.

“There it is” Sebastian said.

“I could say the same thing about yours” she could not believe what she just said.

“I think I’m gonna start comming more to this place”

“For coffe?” Y/N asked, she knew it was a stupid question.

“No…for you” Sebastian answered.

“Well… it’s my last day, so I don’t think you are gonna get much of me after today.”

“In that case, would you do me the favour of giving me your number with that coffe?” she looked at his beautiful eyes, looking to see if he was joking, but not sign of it.

“Yeah, sure”


“Next thing I know I’m in love with a dork, my dork” she took Sebastian’s hand in hers “You made my last day at work the best one, it was the first time I felt so lucky in years…and then, then you proposed to me. I never would have expected it”.


“I haven’t been here for years” Sebastian told you, they were together for three years already, and that day would be the day he proposed to her.

“Why?It’s such a beautiful place” but she didn’t got an answer.

They were in Romania, they first went to Constanza, were Sebastian was from, then to Bucarest and now they were in Caras-Severing, heading to Bigar, there was such a beautiful cascade, wich Sebastian and Y/N have only seen in pictures.

“ I have a feelig that this place is going to be my favorite” she could already hear the water fall, they were close.

“Me too” he whispered, but not for the wonderful cascade.

A little bit more of walking and they arrived to the destination, they were not the only turists.

“This is even better than the pictures” she looked around her, people taking photos, kids laughing and playing, mothers calling their attention, some looked at Sebastian and she could hear they calling him Bucky,Sebastian was keeping her in his strong arms.

“Would you believe me if I told you, that you are more beautiful than this?”

“No way” she answered smiling.

She wanted to rest her head on his chest, but he got away from her suddenly. She turned and saw him on his knees with a little velvet box on his hands. Everyone was looking at them,some taking pictures.

“Are you doing what I think you are doing?” she could not believe it, and would not believe it untill the words come out of his lips.

“Y/N Y/L, the day I met you, I dind’t know why but I wanted to go to that coffe shop, a place I never had been befour that day, and I saw you there, callig me sir, with your beautiful smile, the most beaustiful smile I’ve had ever seen, the one I know you got right now even though I can’t see it because of your hands”  you laughed at his coment, and tried not to cry, of happiness of course. “ So me, going there so randomly, I know now that it was destiny. I love you more than my life Y/N, you are the only one that I want and love, the only one that I want to start a family with…Sweetheart, would you marry me?” now he was more nervious than ever, the answer, what if she said no?

“Yes, a million times yes, I will marry you Sebastian Stan” he put the beautiful ring on her finger and kissed her like if he wanted it the most. The people around them startet applauding.


“ That place is definetly my favorite one” she was crying “God Sebastian, you have made me the  happier woman ever, I love you with all my soul, you can’t even imagine how much I love you. If I could I would take your place right now without giving it a second tought” her hands went to his hair, then to his face, carresing it. 

“I know you loved…love, me too, I never doubted it, and I never will. My heart belongs to you Sebastian, I belong to you, I’m yours forever” and with that she gave him the last kiss.


Chris went running in the hospital , Sebastian’s room was empty, he looked for Y/N, and found her in the room’s bathroom, craying on the floor.

“Y/N” Chris said softly. She just stared at him with hopless eyes , her face was palid, she just denied. Chris ran and sit beside her, keeping her in his arms, traying to give her comfort. “ How long?” he asked.

“No…no more than twenty minutes ago” she could barerly speak, and he could not stop the tears from falling.


Masterlist

Shapeshifter

Peter Pan X Reader

Word Count: 1052

Requested: @two-souls-world

Request: Omg! Can you please write more like this! 😍

Originally posted by my-fxxfics

You seemed to appear out of nowhere your wings folded to hide Henry as the lost boys backed away from you. “Great there are angels now too?” Emma asked rolling her eyes and lowering her sword.

“Shapeshifter and you’re all going to listen to me because I really don’t want to have my magic suspended again…” You groaned.
“Glad you could make the show.” Pan said from his perch on the cliff “but why would I listen to you, I rule this island and everything on it belongs to me.” You moved your wings revealing Henry who was huddled behind you.
“I have someone you all want.” You smirked now. “Now that I have everyone’s-” You were cut off this time by an arrow in your shoulder. “What the hell!?” You glared at Snow White before pulling it out, everyone watched as your veins turned back you body expelled the poison. “That was not nice and now I’m leaving, with your grandson.”
Then you glanced at Peter and threw the arrow at him, only meaning to distract him and it worked when he looked back you were gone, Henry with you.

“This isn’t very hidden,” Henry noted when you told him that you were both in the middle of both camps.
“I don’t remember saying that I was trying to hide.” You mumbled as you put wards around the camp that you were about to create.
“You want them to find us?” Henry asked.
“Yeah hopefully at the same time.” You said concentrating on putting up the protection wards.

“Who was that?” Emma asked.
“That is a shapeshifter and you definitely not getting your son back now,” Pan smirked down at them. “At least not without my help.”
“We don’t need your help.” Snow glared.
“You say that but you don’t even know her name. Let alone where to find her.” Pan smirked.
“He has a point.” Regina nodded.
“Yeah well, I find people for a living,” Emma said.
“Well, what if they’re not trying to hide?” Pan asked and Emma frowned.
“What are you talking about?” Emma asked.
“She’s here to set the balance right and that means restoring magic to Neverland.” Pan started to explain.
“So Henry’s in danger with her!?” Regina asked.
“I never said that.” Pan denied. “She won’t hurt him but why would she tell us both unless she wants both of us there.”
“He’s right shapeshifters are careful.” David agreed.
“So what? We invite the enemy along?” Emma asked.
“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Pan quoted pushing his hand out. “Besides I don’t need Henry anymore, the shapeshifter’s heart is much stronger.” Regina shot forward shaking his hand before he could take back the words, he just smirked.

“Henry come here!” You called he walked over to you and you grabbed his hand pulling it over the line, “you feel that burning?” he nodded. “That will kill you if you try and leave without me around, so stay inside the circle and try and stop everyone else from trying to get in.” You winked before you disappeared.

“I’m feeling a lot of high tension.” You smirked from your perch in the tree.
“Where is he!?” Emma asked eyes following you as you jumped out of the tree raising her sword when you were on the floor.
“I really would not point that in my direction.” You warned you wing stretched out behind you where they could see some of the feathers were turning or had completely turned black.
“What’s happening to your wings?” Snow asked.
“They don’t like it when you don’t listen.” You smirked ruffling your wings and pointing up to the sky.
“They?” Emma asked.
“My higher ups.” You answered. “You guys call them the archangels.”
“What do you call them?” David asked.
“Annoying.” You answered bluntly.
“Where is Henry?” Regina asked and you looked at her.
“Safe.” You answered.
“If you’re not an angel what are you?” Emma asked.
“I’m a shapeshifter, human call us angels, they think we work for a god but there isn’t one that I’ve seen but on that score, you be better off asking the archangels themselves.” You shrugged. “We are the perfect balance of everything but we are not perfect.”
“Angels are supposed to be good… Why won’t you help us?” Emma asked.
“Ever wondered how demons are made?” You asked and they stayed silent. “Well when someone needs guidance an angel is sent, so who was I sent to guide?” You asked.
“Henry,” Emma answered and you shook your head.
“I wasn’t sent to guide anyone, I wasn’t sent at all. I was told not to come here, I’d become too attached to… him.” You pointed at Pan “he intrigues me and I never stop learning but they don’t accept that so now my wings are turning black.”
“You’re turning into a demon,” Regina said.
“Yeah… Because I won’t kill him. Demons are slaves to their impulses once I become a demon I’ll be a force with too much power to control… Unless I anchor it here.” You explained.
“What?” Emma asked.
“This place is running out of magic and I’m a constant supply, I just need to anchor my power here, most of it’ll flow through this place instead of me and keep this place alive and you get to go home with your son.” You answered. “So let me do my job.”

They all watched as you stretched your black wings, you (E/C) eyes now turned red and your body language was completely different. “(Y/N)?” Henry asked.
“Hey, kid.” You waved.
“Are you okay?” Emma asked.
“Define okay.” You mumbled. “Turns out the only thing that changes is your fixation.”
“What?” Snow asked.
“Don’t worry about it.” You waved her off, “just go.” You ordered, “oh and Pan you have your island back go cause some trouble.” Emma dragged Henry away, the other following behind them but Peter stayed standing in front of you.
“You know that I can’t let you leave…” Peter smirked over at you.
“I don’t want to.” You looked back at him eyes seeming to brighten when you did.
“Why is that?” He asked.
“You have a loyal and powerful servant.” You smiled.
“Well, love let’s have some fun.” He smiled taking your hand.

Requests and general question