my heart breaks for elle here

Let Me Go ~ Dean Winchester Imagine~

Set Preseason 1 around the time Sam leaves for college.

Summary:When Dean is injured on a hunt, John brings him to an old Marine buddy Clay. Once Dean is patched up, John and his friend leave to finish the job leaving Dean in the care of Clay’s daughter Elle. While waiting for their father’s return the two plan a future together. When Dean reveals he wants a chance at a some-what normal life with Elle, John has different plans.

Warnings: none that I can think of

*Let me you know if you would potentially be interested in a part 2!*

Originally posted by findmeplease

His eyes were ablaze, shoulders squared, jaw set as he stood before his father. Underneath his nerves of steel and defiance was a slight flicker of fear smoldering in the pit of his stomach. He had never once disobeyed his father, always following orders like the good soldier he was trained to be. But, he had never been in love before either.  It had only taken a month. A short month for him to fully appreciate what the world could offer him outside of hunting, a world with her.

“Dean” the older Winchester said sternly, his dark eyes menacing as he took a step toward his oldest son “I said, lets go.”

Dean shook his head “I’m not going.”

John Winchester slammed the trunk of the Impala shut loudly. “What the hell do you mean you’re not going?”

“I’m staying here.”

John scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest before locking eyes with his son again.

“You went into that vamps nest guns blazing and got yourself hurt. I left you here to get patched up and to heal. Clay and I go and  take care of the bloodsuckers and now you decide you don’t want to go?”

Clay stood awkwardly to the side, his bag thrown haphazardly over his shoulder as he watched the two generations of Winchesters interact. His eyes were tired and his posture screamed that he desperately wanted to go into the awaiting ranch style house a few yards away and fall into the loving embrace of his wife and daughter. Yet, he stayed where he was encase the two’s words turned physical and he needed to play peacemaker.

Dean wondered if his father’s friend regretted helping them if he knew a family feud on his front lawn would be his repayment. Did he regret agreeing to take Dean into his home, resetting his broken arm and allowing his daughter to nurse him back to health these past four weeks? Or did he regret agreeing to take Dean’s place on the task of facing an angry swarm of vampires? Hell at this point Dean wouldn’t be surprised if he regretted pulling John out of the line of enemy fire all those years ago in Vietnam, an action he was still paying for to this day.

“I want to stay here Dad. I can go to college, work on cars. I can still hunt and have a life. Have a house, have a family!”

“College?” John spat, disgusted “ You’re gonna be like Sammy and go to college? You wouldn’t make it Dean. Sammy’s smart..”

“And I’m not?”Dean retorted back offended.

“You’re a hunter Dean!” John roared back. “That’s all you’ll ever be! What the hell has gotten into you? You’ve never spoken like this until now.” John paused, his face softening slightly as all the pieces began to fall into place. He smiled softly, amused at the thought and chuckled under his breath stealing a glance at Clay before looking back at Dean.

“Is this about Elle?”

The older hunter got his answer when Dean’s jaw twitched, Clay seemed to shift uncomfortably at the mention of his daughter.

Elle. Clay’s only child, the dark haired blue eyed beauty who had helped her father clean and mend his wounds when  John had arrived late that June night, Dean half unconscious in the passenger seat. Not only was she educated but she knew more about the supernatural than anyone he had ever met, his own little encyclopedia of dark paranormal knowledge. Elle wasn’t just fact either she had her fair share of scars and horror stories of hunts she had accompanied her father on. However, unlike the Winchesters who lived life like a broke cover band hopping from hunt to hunt, motel to motel Clay was established. His family lived on wooded acres of land equipped with their ranch style house and a barn.  He still hunted only partaking in hunts that were local or the rare occasion of another hunter asking for help. Clay did his part without giving up his home life, Dean wanted that with Elle.

“You want the cozy, little picket fence life with little Elle, huh?” John chuckled kicking at the dirt with his boot “What makes you think you can protect her?”

Dean swallowed hard, his words steady and strong.

“I love her”

John nodded. He had just lost Sammy to the dream of a normal life, he was damned if he was going to lose Dean to the same thought, even if it was to a great girl like Elle.

“And that’s all fine and good but you forget.”  John lounged back against the hood of the Impala “I loved your mother.” Dean felt his heart lurch and fall into his gut at the statement. “And loving her did nothing to protect her as much as I wish it could have.”

Dean’s gaze dropped at the thought of his mother, his throat constricting unpleasantly.

“We still don’t know what killed her.” John continued. “Do you want that same thing coming after Elle while you’re out working on cars?”

Of course he didn’t but Elle was smart, so was he. He would never let anything happen to her. Right?

“You never want to walk in and see her on the ceiling, feel the heat from the fire. Smell her skin boiling away to ash, her hair scorched..” As John talked, too softly for Clay to hear, he was approaching Dean cautiously. “I never want you to have to carry your crying child out of your home while his mother is burning alive. Stolen from you and him.”

John’s words had painted the picture in Dean’s mind. Elle pinned to the ceiling clad in an over-sized Motley Crue band t-shirt that she wore to sleep. Her hair fanned around her, blue eyes swimming in unshed tears her full, pouty mouth parted in a soft gasping expression flames licking around her body. His father was right. They still didn’t know what had killed his mother and how could he protect Elle from something he didn’t even know anything about. The thought caused a tear to roll down Dean’s cheek. He didn’t want to lose her in any way.

John clasped a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Let her go.”

As Dean released a defeated shudder of a breath he stared at the dirt beneath his boots desperately trying to blink back tears. The cry of the old hinges from the screen door pierced his ears and he closed his eyes knowing it was her standing on the porch.

“Dean?” she called out. Her soft voice concerned. Both John and Dean looked up at her as she took careful steps across the porch, subconsciously pulling one of Dean’s flannels closer around her tank top in the cooling late afternoon breeze. Clay had climbed the steps toward the porch, now seeing that the argument had died down, kissed Elle’s cheek as she hugged him before he disappeared  inside.

“Give me a minute” Dean coughed turning away from his father and approaching Elle as she descended down the steps.

“Did you tell him?” she asked smiling, excitement dripping off her words as she pictured their future together. Her teeth gently biting into her lip as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah” Dean sighed stuffing his hands in his pockets his head down.

“And?” she pressed bouncing on the balls of her bare feet. Dean’s resigned expression ceased her movements. “Dean” she gently reached out and touched his wrist “Babe, what did he say?”

He raised his green eyes to meet her curious blue ones. “I have to go, Elle.”

“Ok, well when will you be back?” she continued to smile softly pulling his hand out of his pocket and allowing her fingers to graze over the back of his skin.

“I’m not.”

Her smile faltered, along with her fingers. “Wh-what?”

God, how was he gonna say goodbye to her?

“Listen Elle,” he sighed pulling his hand from hers and running it through his hair. “You’re smart, you’re gorgeous and got a lot going right for you. You don’t need to get tied down to a hunter like me, I’m going nowhere in life compared to you.”

“Dean” she shook her head as if his sudden change of heart would make more sense to her. She looked back at him her brows knitted in confusion.“We had all these plans. I thought you wanted this!”

He grabbed her hands in his much larger ones pulling her closer to his chest gently pressing his forehead to hers. “I do” he whispered “I do but you have to understand. I’m no good for you Elle. You can do so much better. Have a guy who you know will be home every night that can get you out of the hunting life. Keep you safe. Better than I ever could.”

“Then I don’t want better ” she whimpered tears glossing her eyes as she blinked up at him “I want you.”

“No you don’t Elle” he whispered. “I’ll only break your heart.”

“You’re breaking it right now Dean” she cried. “If you won’t stay, then let me come with you.”

“I can’t let you do that sweetheart” Dean shook his head. Why did she have to make it harder on him than it already was? “You have another year of college, your parents are here… your whole life! All I have to my name is the $59 I hustled off some biker in pool and eventually that ’67 Chevrolet. You deserve more than that .You wanna you life, your dreams up for a life of ratty motels?”

“If it means I’m with you.” She countered hoping it would win him over.

“I love you too much to let you do that to yourself” Dean sighed shaking his head, his eyes closed so she couldn’t see the pooling tears in his eyes.

“You promised” she whispered her voice trailing off. “You made me fall in love with you, promised we would be together and you’re backing out now? What did I do? I’ll fix it just tell me and I’ll do whatever you want just..” she took a shaky breath and Dean felt his heart break a little more into the palm of her hand. If only it were so easy to just scoop her up and shut the door on the outside world.  “You promised…” she whispered again tears running down her face.

“I have to break that promise Elle” he held a hand to the side of her head feeling the soft skin of her cheek against his rough palm “I’m doing it to protect you. Just let me go.”

He lowered his head and brought his lips to meet hers in one final kiss. He felt disgusted with himself as her salty tears wet his own cheeks. She pulled away wet trails running down from her eyes before her hand connected with the side of his face, a loud smack resonating as Dean’s head was thrown to the side from the impact.

“I hate you” she whispered before yanking her hands free of his grasp and running back up the steps and into the house.

Dean gently touched his face surprised to find blood on his fingers when he gently prodded his lip. Despite the pain shooting through his face, her words had cut him much deeper. He understood that he had broken her trust but if it kept her safe it was a price he was willing to pay. He slowly turned and walked back to the Impala where John was leaning against the hood. He raised his gaze to study his son and swallowed down the guilt as he saw the tears Dean was furiously trying to wipe away.

“Lets go” Dean barked, his voice hoarse as he charged toward the passenger door desperate to get out of the state that would now only hold memories of Elle.

“Want to drive?” John offered as some sort of peace offering, holding out the keys but was stunned to see Dean shake his head and slam the door shut. John sighed and climbed in the Impala. The growl of the engine did little to sooth Dean’s aching heart as he stared longingly at the house he had grown to love in such a short time.

Gone was the comfort of sleeping next to a warm body until daylight when he would sneak back to the spare room before Elle’s mother noticed, the home cooked meals and late night secrets the two would share. Their plans, their dreams. 

With difficulty, he let them go.

 ♡♡♡ Monica aka Nic’s End of the Year Follow Forever

So, it’s no surprise that I recently hit 800+ followers this past weekend, and honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas and Birthday present than to have you all following me. It literally makes me feel very happy that some of you really enjoy seeing me on the dash, and I can’t help but get giggly about it. Okay, so I suck at Follow Forever’s because I can’t put EVERYONE on it, as much as I want to, but I do love every single one of you and just a reminder, if you EVER want to 1x1 with me, I am totally down 120% and I will more than glad to give you my aim. 

♡♡♡ Shout out to all my favorite pears!

dobrien1x1s ♡♡♡ - Elena, my love! You are literally one of my closest friends on Tumblr, and I can’t even begin to say how much I love you and how much I am so happy that I met you! Our babies literally give me life, and you do as well. It’s crazy, we started out in a group together, then two, and suddenly decided to turn some of our characters that never got to go more than a couple of days (besides Foxin) because most rps would die within a week, and we fell in love with out characters. I’m so happy that we continue to just.. make more ships????? I can’t even begin to say how much I love how we enjoy making each other’s hearts break because of angst and headcanons, and more and more and more angst. I love you so much, Elle! 

alinarps​ ♡♡♡ - Alina. Sweet, sweet Alina. You are my Lydia and we are getting married today. Here are my vows: ♡♡♡ I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, to agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home. ♡♡♡ I’d say those are real ass vows and I mean it. I love you, Alina Igloo. (And I am so excited for our babies!!!!)

december1x1 ♡♡♡ - GEM! I think it’s safe to say that we are literally equal when it comes to trying to reply to one another, but I love Aaron and Ella so much, like I can’t even. I’m going to spam you with a ton of headcanons soon, by the way so.. but I can’t wait for our dark plot after you come back from Hiatus because we are going to just cry together and wish we never did it to them, but do it anyways and ALL THE PLOTS :-)

rheyaofrp ♡♡♡ - Oh my god Rheya, I love Robey so much and I will reply soon!!! It’s been like 84 years, but I will reply to our babies because it’s dark and it’s just a bad and dysfunctional type of plot like I can’t. But, I will reply soon and we are going to cry about our babies and just want to stop but know we can’t because we just love them so much!! 

stanwrites ♡♡♡ - I still need to message you back on SKYPE. Oh my, but I have had Danny’s page ready for like 3 days and I STILL haven’t followed you back on your character account, but I will do that soon! I love you and you’re an absolute sweetheart and I just can’t even with you, fr. I can’t wait for more headcanons of our babies and memes because I’m just so in love with the two babies, because it’s going to be so rad and adorable and angsty and just cries. 

rad1x1s ♡♡♡ - SHELBY! I told you I was going to put you in my follow forever!! I love you like omfg fr, even though I suck at messaging you back, I am doing better now right?!?!? I hope so, please. Anyway, I can’t wait for Jonathon and… (u never chose her name wow) BUT I can’t wait for the plot because it’s going to be so interesting to see them played out and the two different faces together?! Like Zac and Nina, pls. Ilysm though! 

snowyrps ♡♡♡ - ANNIE. I miss you so much :-( You’re the love of my life and you always had me in a good mood when I was upset and just feeling really shitty. I’m going to message you and we’re going to just talk about a plot we wanna do and just do it, you got that? Ilysm. 

♡♡♡ The Real MVPs that have agreed to plot with me, even though I’m trash! 

crystalsrph, ninarpc, sjofrps, kitkat1x1, stydiaawrites, ella1x1

♡♡♡ The Cinnamon Apples (and maybe, most definitely a group of people I would love to 1x1 with and just write with because you guys are fabulous) 

cocoofrps, zeuswrites, falaheewrites, laurelscastilo, phoelleyrps, court1x1, volkrps, stallisonrps, narniawrites, ashleys1x1s, royal1x1s, queenbwrites, cbennetwrites, xavier1x1, georgeywrites, saturnofrp, skye1x1rp, skeleton1x1s, sprayberrys1x1, reindeer1x1s, argentswrites, abbyofrps, lexaofrp, staseywrites, rxdioxctives, 1x1ofrp, roden1x1s, caitlnnsnow, simba1x1, auroraassists, hogwartswrites, rhonarps, peppermint1x1, annas1x1s, hollndposey, scruffylookingpirate, laurps

♡♡♡ The Stars that light up my dash

delacourwrites, quincyrps, hrryofrps, kelofrp, lia1x1, littledovewrites, alisonsargentes, slytherin1x1, fedora1x1, femmerps, sammierps, dork1x1, nightrps, rejectofrp, ruexwrites, marzofrps, marlsrp, benzofrps, merryderps, lermanof1x1, phbetonkin, septemberofrp, tuli1x1, mistletoemccall, dylans-obrien, dynobrien, tatiofrpt, grinchwrites, dylanobrizen, hudrosewrites, swag1x1, hachi1x1, savs1x1, katie1x1, katieofrp, laneofrp, hailee1x1, marleyroleplays, valkyrierps, rose1x1s, just-writes, zoeroleplays, clairewords, clairetalks, russo1x1, scottymccallwrites, poseyofrph, jenniferrps, jenwrites1x1, ellie1x1, ellenin1x1, pleatee1x1​, bettwrites, daws1x1, writingmalik, buckybwrites, stilesanity, ang1x1s, angstwrites, annasrps, anns1x1, sana1x1, sunshine1x1s, sangster1x1s, shannon1x1, kory1x1, elisas1x1, emileerps, lennox1x1, bunny1x1, eriofrp, jellyfishofrp, jemmarps, calpal1x1s, allxson, castilllowrites, woah1x1s

♡♡♡ I’m sure I’m missing a TON of people, but as I said I love every single one of you and literally I would talk to everyone, just hit up my inbox and I’ll give you my aim! For real, though. Also, I would love to give the graphic credit to alinarps. She was more than glad to help me out since my photoshop decided to crash and burn on me several times today, so I take no credit whatsoever for the cute graphic she put together for me! I love you all, and I’m always down to plot and help you out if you have any plots. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I just know we’ll all have a Happy New Year. <3

- Nic Igloo ♡♡♡