my heads so fucked up

IT’S BITTY’S BIRTHDAY.
I wanted to do more but this is what ya get cuz I HAVEnO FREE TIME.

So yeah a sketchpage of Bitty Heads and one Mullet AU Jack because I have had Pansy Division’s “Hockey Hair” stuck in my damn head all day.

Also middle Bitty is a Bitty in an AU where everything is the same but he didn’t get a concussion at the end of freshman year to interrupt his progress and he got even better and scouts started showing up and something happened (what? idk) that made him consider hockey as a career enough to maybe not finish school and Samwell won the Frozen Four and by the end of sophomore year, a week after Jack kisses him at graduation, he’s off to the scouting combine in Buffalo and just weeks after that, he gets drafted …….by the Aces.

Anyway. Okay now I have to work for the rest of the night on finishing my comic for an epic Aftg zine.

My other Check, Please! FanArt

anonymous asked:

I really just remember chapter 8 as a "chapter where they finally had sex"

I honestly remember chapters by what type of sex scene I had to write for each one because that was always the hardest part of each chapter so in my head the chapters go 

1) Viktor fucks up part 1

2) Interlude 

3) Yuuri’s starts skating

4) Viktor fucks up part 2

5) idk probably something important happened here 

6) Sex dream that involved no actual sex

7) Surprise injury plot device 

8) I hate you, now fuck me

9) Don’t talk

10) Very Classy™ handjobs in a bathroom and that one time they did it doggy style and Viktor got really sappy that night aka the chapter I had to force myself to write two sex scenes in one chapter and nearly gave up altogether 

11) Domestic fluff and romantic blowjobs

12) Viktor knows how to deepthroat, who knew?

13) You were all so thirsty for wall sex I wrote it into the chapter are you happy now?

14) Sex free at last

Introducing Joora

his was the spawn of just looking at Jonas and Noora together in a gifset. And they just look so nice together!! Also Noora deserves better than what happened with William :( 

(also much thanks to @evakshalla and @kardemomme-kisses for making sure it wasn’t a complete failure)

—————————————

Noora thinks she should be happy.

It’s one of those nights, right? Her friends are gathered around her, drinking, laughing, cheering out toasts to the newly moved-in Isak and Even. It’s a happy night. Full of joy and new beginnings and-

And.

She’s miserable. She’s been miserable for the past two weeks when William Skyped her and told her that he met someone new. And that whatever they had- whatever struggles they went through, moments they shared- it wasn’t enough.

Noora wasn’t enough. And that fucking sucked.

But she couldn’t just- tell her friends that. Her friends who stuck through all of last year’s drama. Who were literally willing to break the law in order to salvage her relationship with William. How does she tell them it was all for nothing?

Noora takes another small sip of beer and looks around the room. The party was finally starting to wind down (thank God); Eva was practically passed out on Vilde’s lap, Chris snuffling peacefully against the leg of the couch and Sana… peering at her phone, fingers typing away furiously. Isak and Even, curled together, whispering into each other’s mouths.

She has to look away. She needs a second to breathe because if she doesn’t get away, she might end up resenting Isak and Even and her friends for their happiness while she-

Noora slips off the couch quietly and makes her way to the little alcove kitchen, placing both palms flat on the counter. Breathe one, two, three…

One, two, three… one, two, three

And then there is the remnants of a song in the vestiges of her mind as she’s mouthing the lyrics to herself and wonders why the pressure in her chest feels so tight. “Saying I love you is not the words I want to hear from…”

“Everything okay?”

Noora whirls around, only to be met with calm brown eyes under dark, dark brows.

“Jonas,” Noora lets out another breath, “Sorry. You scared me.”

He shrugs off her apologies, “No worries. You look uh- intense. In thought and shit.”

She forces a smile, shifting a bit when he moves further into the kitchen and sets down several empty beer bottles in the sink. Whatever does remain in them, he pours down the sink and rinses. At her look he chuckles, “Doesn’t feel right to take over their new place for a party and stick them with the mess.”

“Yeah,” she returns lamely, but joins him at the sink and takes her own beer to empty. They are silent for a few minutes and it’s weird because they’ve never really had a reason tho hangout on their own. It’s always been Isak or Eva buffering between them. So the silence stretches on until she can’t take it anymore. “Are you- um… having fun?”

Jonas nods easily enough and peers down at her from his lashes, “Yeah, of course. I’m so happy for Isak and Even. Really.”

“Me too.”

And then there is a knowing smile at the corners of Jonas’s lips and Noora wants to shrug it off like she’s told Eva to do so many times, but there isn’t even a hint of malice when Jonas hip bumps her. “They’re so disgustingly romantic though right?” He laughs, “I mean it’s cute, but I always feel like I’m intruding on a private moment when I catch them together.”

Noora smiles, “Try living with them.”

“Can’t even imagine.” When they run out of bottles to rinse and dispose of, Jonas turns and leans his hip against the sink, “Like living in a Valentine’s Day card.”

The horror.

Noora’s nose scrunches on it’s own accord, “Valentine’s day. You know what Valentine’s day is?”

“A capitalistic scheme that seeks to suck million’s dollars in revenue based on the commercialized view of love?”

Noora blinks and adopts the haughtiest tone she could muster, “That and a holiday that restricts itself to those only in relationships and unintentionally alienates those who aren’t into a bottomless hole of despair.”

Jonas makes a pleased sound and Noora can’t help but laugh a bit, dropping the act, “You didn’t have a Valentine either this year, did you?”

“No and I wanted one so bad.” Jonas shakes his head, “Damn. Maybe next year though. Who knows, though. This year was Isak’s turn. Maybe next year will be mine.”

And then they were both just looking at each other quietly for a few moments, but the silence seemed less oppressive then it had just a few minutes before. Nevertheless it had to be broken and Jonas was the one to do it, “What was the song you were humming earlier?”

Noora cocks her head in confusion for several seconds. And then remembers.

“Nothing.” she says a little glumly, “Just a song I used to love strumming on the guitar.”

“Ayeee,” Jonas snaps at her, “Did I know you played the guitar? I do too. I play a pretty suave cover I’m Yours by Jason Mraz.”

“Pretty suave? Okay Michael Buble.”

Jonas rolls his eyes playfully, “The sass. We should join forces sometime and play. I already low-key told Isak that I’d perform for him at his and Even’s hypothetical/ probably not hypothetical wedding. You should join me on the hypothetical stage.”

And that weirdly actually sounded like a blast.

“Yeah,” Noora nodded, but then shook her head, “Actually I don’t- the guitar wasn’t mine. I don’t have one.”

“No worries. I have a couple.”

“Jonas!” They both turned to the hall where Isak’s drunken slurs echoed, “Jonnasss.”

The very guy chuckles, “I’m going to go see what Isak wants. But we really should jam sometime.” He turns to exit, but hesitates at the entrance of the hallway, “And Noora- I’m uh- sorry things with William didn’t work out. But I think you might deserve someone much better.”

Then he’s gone and Noora realizes after a few moments that she didn’t even try to correct him about William.

And that she now had I’m Yours stuck in her head.

lauren aquilina lyric starters

  • ❝ those hardest to love need it most ❞
  • ❝ what if we ruin it all? ❞
  • ❝ I want you more than I’ve wanted anyone ❞
  • ❝ isn’t that dangerous? ❞
  • ❝ oh god I feel so unprepared ❞
  • ❝ tell me what we choose ❞
  • ❝ do I offend you with my words? ❞
  • ❝ forgive me, I’m just so fucked up in the head ❞
  • ❝ look at all the chaos you escaped ❞
  • ❝ I love your brain, but I hate your guts ❞
  • ❝ you’re alone, you’re on your own, so what? ❞
  • ❝ count your blessings not your flaws ❞
  • ❝ you’ve got it all ❞
  • ❝ you can reclaim your crown ❞
  • ❝ you’re in control ❞
  • ❝ you can be king again ❞
  • ❝ you’re too wrapped up in your self doubt ❞
  • ❝ there’s method in my madness ❞
  • ❝ there’s no logic in your sadness ❞
  • ❝ you don’t gain a single thing from misery ❞
  • ❝ you’re completely off limits ❞
  • ❝ you’re so busy being busy ❞
  • ❝ my mind is blind to everything but you ❞
  • ❝ I wonder if you wonder about me too ❞
  • ❝ the future’s far less daunting walking into it with you ❞
  • ❝ so drink ‘til you can’t think ❞
  • ❝ pretend I’m what you choose ❞
  • ❝ our lives are stories waiting to be told ❞
  • ❝ they’re the ones we’ll look down upon ❞
  • ❝ we’ll defy the rules until we die ❞
  • ❝ the world may disapprove ❞
  • ❝ my world is only you ❞
  • ❝ if we’re sinners it feels like heaven to me ❞
  • ❝ how can you expect me not to eat, when the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet? ❞
  • ❝ our hearts are too ruthless to break ❞
  • ❝ time for the rules to change ❞
  • ❝ why won’t you just talk to me? ❞
  • ❝ there’s a universe inside your head ❞
  • ❝ constellations are the things you left unsaid ❞
  • ❝ talk to me or watch me leave ❞
  • ❝ are you ever gonna wake up? ❞
  • ❝ I don’t know why you’re hiding ❞
  • ❝ I could tear your world to shreds ❞
  • ❝ do you know how it feels to give your all for no return? ❞
  • ❝ I’d be anything for you, but I’ll never fit the bill ❞
  • ❝ you won’t even notice that I’m gone ❞
  • ❝ the worst part of it all is that I desperately still want someone who never wanted me ❞
  • ❝ I’m only your everything when you feel alone ❞
  • ❝ will our dreaming be our downfall? ❞
  • ❝ I can already feel their hate ❞
  • ❝ it’s not hard to let it go when there’s nothing to hold onto ❞
  • ❝ I don’t know how to love you like I used to ❞
  • ❝ I just wish I could mute all their mouths ❞
  • ❝ I don’t know how I’m gonna get up from this one ❞
  • ❝ we all live in the waves we’ve created ❞
  • ❝ I can’t stop living in fear of the worst ❞
  • ❝ don’t you tell me that you’re falling for me now ❞
  • ❝ can’t you see you mess with my head just because you can ❞
  • ❝ I guess my problem’s always been giving people everything and expecting the same ❞
  • ❝ it’s just too much and I’m never enough ❞
  • ❝ teach me to be somebody new ❞
  • ❝ who said that you can make a fool of me? ❞
  • ❝ who said that you decide how I feel? ❞
  • ❝ who said I didn’t have the strength to leave? ❞
  • ❝ who said that I would look the other way? ❞
  • ❝ if nothing is meant to last, maybe we should drink to that ❞
  • ❝ morning’s gonna come so fast, pour another drink in my glass ❞
  • ❝ people break each other’s hearts in their individual ways ❞
  • ❝ this was never love, it was chaos ❞
  • ❝ I remember the way you used to talk about your doubts like they were demons ❞
  • ❝ all I’m thinking about is not thinking about you ❞
I am so fucking sick of this shit

I’m just so sick of this aphobic discourse bullshit.

I’m sick of cis LGBP+ people misusing ‘cishet’ and mangling the meaning so damn badly it’s become a dog whistle. I’m tired of reflexively clenching my teeth and holding my breath every time someone I don’t know of this damned site uses the term because I’m not sure if they’re talking about me or not. I am a god damned queer, trans, NB, bi/pan aspec. I shouldn’t ever be fucking concerned that ‘cishet’ might be referring to me. No god damned part of me is cishet.

I’m sick of seeing aspecs inclusion in the ‘lgbt+ community’ being treated as a new phenomonon. As if it’s a matter of ‘should we let this group of people in or not’ when really it’s a matter of ‘should we kick out this already present group of people or not’

I am sick of the recycled, rehashed biphobia and transphobia. And I’m sick of all the general cut and paste biphobia and transphobia that is all over the aphobic discourse. I am sick of trudging through the same literally verbatim bigotry that Capital S Straight people have put be through forever. Exclusionists keep saying the fucking point of this community to fight/work against that bullshit right?

I’m sick of trying to keep up with the ever shifting goalposts exclusionists are putting up, with their very conditional, performative ‘support’. I’m tired of being constantly and thoroughly reminded that my only value to these ass clowns is as a token or a rhetorical tool or a cudgel to use against other vulnerable, marginalized people.

I am really fucking sick of having my fucking identity measured along a metric of ‘gay enough’ by exclusionist ass clowns. And you know, frankly, it doesn’t feel much different from Capital S Straight people measuring me along a metric of straight-ness’. Either way I’m never, ever gonna measure up, never gonna be enough, always gonna be stuck in limbo.

I am sick of exclusionist telling people like me to ‘make our own community’ only to make every attempt possible to thoroughly destroy and ruin any attempts at such things. And I’m being deliberately vague right now because I no longer actually know which facet of my identity I’m talking about.

I am sick of exclusionists redefining my fucking identity so that they can better tear it apart or dismiss it.

I’m tired of being told my orientation is ‘adults only’ or ‘nott appropriate for children’ by people who should know better because they’ve had that shit slung at them and why in the hell would you ever pass that on to anyone else.

I’m tired of watching the fight die out of people, out of me. Because the grind is just too much. Giving up on arguments because what’s the point anymore when it hurts so much and the people stepping all over you are never ever gonna stop and will never ever listen anyway. I’m tired of watching exclusionists gloat over this while the guilt eats at me because I know other people are dealing with this shit too and because there will be people, younger than me, who will need this space to be themselves but it feels like I just can’t do anything and it’s so fucking hard to just hold my head up lately.

I’m hardly even angry anymore I’m just tired

I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

And this is a long rant and I’m not sure how coherent it is or if it went where I thought it was going but whatever.

Fucked Up

Summary: Ian regrets breaking up with Mickey, so he does something about it.

Word Count: 887

Notes: I feel like this request was in my inbox forever, so sorry if it took so long!


Ian was pacing back and forth in his living room. He currently wanted to scream or rip his hair out. “How fucking stupid could I be to break up with Mickey? How fucking stupid am I?” Ian asked Debbie. He was literally on the verge of going off the deep end.

Debbie’s heart broke at her distressed brother, but at the same time she was glad to see him actually feeling something for once. She frowned at the sight; he was right though, it was a fucking idiotic move of him to break up with Mickey. “Ian, you’re head wasn’t on straight. For God’s sake, you were with Monica right before you did that so obviously you’re mind was in the wrong,” she said in a kind voice.

The tall redhead shook his head. “Fucking Monica always ruining everything— no, no, she’s a psycho, but this is my fault,” he said. “I- I gotta do something, Debs. I gotta do something, but I don’t know what to fucking do!” His head was now in his hands, but his was still rapidly walking around the house.

“Okay, seeing you like this is better than seeing you all emotionless and shit, but fucking grow a set and call him or go see him. You love each other, it’s not like you won’t get back together,” she said causing Ian to relax a little, but he suddenly tensed back up. “What now?”

Ian’s eyes were wide. “Fuck. He told me he loved me and I didn’t say it back. Goddamnit!” He then took off out of the house, leaving Debbie alone and sort of thankful that Ian was there to talk her ear off anymore.

He ran as fast as he could to the Milkovich household. The sound of his feet pounded against the concrete and his heart thumping in his chest rang in his ears. He ran so quick that his legs burned, all because he needed to see Mickey, to let him know he loves him.

When Ian arrived to the house, he knocked on the door hard enough that Mickey would hear from his bedroom. After about twenty seconds of no one answering, Ian busted right in. He didn’t bother to say hello to Iggy, who was sitting on the couch with a blunt, instead he just stormed to his ex-boyfriend’s bedroom.

After pushing the door open, he saw Mickey laying in bed with a cigarette between his lips, a gun in his hand, and beer cans surrounding him. Ian looked from where the gun was to the wall, which had plenty of holes in it. It’s heart dropped a little at the sight, he couldn’t stand that he put Mickey in this pain.

Mickey noticed Ian’s presence and shrugged. “What the fuck do you want, Gallagher?”

“Mickey, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, I fucked up.” Ian walked closer, but when Mickey turned his head away he stopped.

The Milkovich boy snorted. “Didn’t fuckin’ seem like it when you were breaking up with me. Fucking asshole, all I wanted to fucking do was be there for you, and you made it damn clear you don’t want that,” he said and shot a round from the pistol. “Get out, Ian. There’s no point in you being here if you don’t want me.”

Ian’s face dropped more than it already was. “I want you. I need you. I’m sorry, Mickey, please. My head is just so fucked up and I don’t even realize what I’m doing anymore. Even though this is all on me, Monica put some crazy shit in my mind, and I couldn’t figure out right from wrong at the time. I was fucking wrong though, I shouldn’t have left you.”

Mickey shook his head, and shot the gun a second time since Ian’s been there. His facial features displayed anger, but his eyes looked sad. And like he is when something’s bothering him, he was silent.

“You said you love me,” Ian claimed. Mickey’s eyes widened and his shoulders tightened, and that was enough for Ian to know he meant it. “I love you.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” Mickey said with exasperation. There was an underlying pain in his voice that made Ian want to go wrap his arms around him.

Ian stepped forward again. “I love you,” he repeated. Mickey looked away, but now Ian was close enough to reach out for him. The redhead grabbed Mickey’s face and turned it towards him. “I fucking love you, Mickey,” he said for the third time.

Tears started to well in Mickey’s eyes. For a moment, he really thought Ian was done with him. Nearly absentmindedly, he threw his arms around the other boy and pulled him into a tight hug. “You mean it?”

Ian let out a breath of relief. “I mean it,” he said into Mickey’s neck.

A single tear rolled down Mickey’s cheek and into Ian’s hair. “I love you too,” he whispered. He had been waiting to hear that for months.

The redhead tightened his grip around Mickey. “I’m so fucking sorry I did that to you.”

“We’ll be okay,” Mickey said with a cracked voice. In reality though, it was the truth. Yes, it’ll be hard, but Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich are in love, and nothing can change that.

I still care about you, but I don’t want to. I hate what you did. I hate what happened. I hate all of it. But you won’t ever go away. You’ll always be there in the back of my mind. I can’t escape it. Whatever it was that I had with you, didnt just go away. I hate myself for that. My head is so fucked up because of everything that happened and I get angry when I think about it. I shouldn’t care about someone who constantly fucked me over and clearly didn’t give a shit about me.
—  But I do.
Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You

Summary: Not requested, but based on the Arctic Monkeys song with the same name. Josh wants to stop the drudgery of everyday life whilst off tour in favor of a life with you. 1000 Follower special.

Warnings: Rough, unprotected sex. Drinking, Dirty talk,

Rating: Mature

A/N: This is one of my first mature fics and for the 1000 follower special. How  is so special? Well it’s my first ever smut so get ready for 1900 words of sin. (It’s pretty crap btw)

Tag List:  @marrsox  @littlemrsbeliever  @b0rky


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