my head it spins

Today is my brothers service and I’m supposed to be speaking but I don’t think I can do it because I’m starting to feel very sick. My stomach is turning and my head is spinning. I think the reality of him being gone is hitting harder than it has in the last week. I’m just supposed to go on with my life without him? It’s just not fair. He lived his life in pain and sickness. He never got to experience anything outside of that. He should have been the one to carry on with his life and heal so he could live. I’ve lived. I’ve accomplished enough. Why wasn’t it me instead of him?

So today was the first day I met with my therapist. I tried to write a list of things I’d like to talk to her about down on a Google Document, but I got a bit distracted, as you can tell.

Let’s just say I didn’t use my notes during my session.

Rap Battle: Anti Vs. Dark

Dark:

You know I rule the Earth, what are you yapping about?

You? Control the world? Maybe you should try a different route.

Giving hints of your existence like you’re Santa Claus,

Yet they joke and they provoke you and that’s all because:

You’re a loser, Anti, he can always shut you up,

Don’t you get it? In his show you’re just a lousy prop.

You say you’re always there, always controlling him,

But, Anti, let’s just face it, all you do is scream.

I took over, I stayed longer and the proof is here,

So why don’t you just glitch away and disappear?


Anti:

You know, it’s funny, you wanting me to fucking disappear,

But I don’t remember seeing you in the past full year.

So sit yourself down, Dark, and let me show you how it’s done,

With some glitches, and eye itches and a whole lot of fun.

You think you’re scary with your deep voice and shit,

But you can only manipulate your way into a stupid skit.

You’re all bark and no bite, I make the others shake with fright.

I killed the owner of this body the first time I took over

With me around, you’ll wish for that one lucky clover.

I glitch my way into existence, I corrupt the files,

They’re guessing and messing, going a thousand miles.

They’re doing their best, trying to build my personality,

And I keep changing, piece by piece, I’m breaking their reality.

You’re old news, Dark, why don’t you get it, man?

I suggest you talk your way into the trash can.


Anti:

VHS cunt!


Dark:

Glitch Bitch!

Both:

You can’t win this, you better ditch!

This fight is really overdue,

We both know it, and they know it too.


Dark:

You can’t do anything right, can’t even kill yourself,

You say I’m bark and no bite, at least I don’t look like an elf.

Take those earrings off, you’re not an angsty teen,

It’s time to finally wipe off that stupid grin.

Someone should teach you how things work around here,

And for a job like that, I gladly volunteer.

The element of surprise was gone from the beginning,

Sometimes you need some time off to get their heads spinning.

Look into my eyes when I tell you that

You’re acting like a bitchy little brat.

Come on, Anti, just stop with all this glitchy fuss

And let’s see what the future truly holds for us.


Anti:

Oh, I’m sorry, you wanted me to look into your eyes?

With all that makeup on even I can’t see past your disguise.

Wearing suits and classy shoes, yet all you can do is lose.

We showed them who we are, and now it’s their time to choose.

I’m the main event, from down below,

Gave you a ticket, so enjoy the show.

They’re all in the back, I’m in the front row,

You see the truth, so hear my flow.

I’m the only one they want to know,

You’re pretty much a goner, so

You built the castle, now I have the keys

So bow your head and get down on your knees.

You think only glitching is my expertise,

Come on, Darkiplier, wake up, bitch please.


WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!@therealjacksepticeye@markiplier

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up

Sad Newsies is over (again) so I made my own papes!

So I saw Newsies twice (might have skipped class to watch it the second time whoops) and here are some of my favorite parts:

- Seeing Broadway newsies and toursies all performing together

- The projections of the headlines/Jack’s drawing of Katherine

- Hearing “Letter from the Refuge” in hd

- Seeing newsies spit in hd

- Jeremy Jordan’s raw emotion while singing Santa Fe

- Kara’s bro voice when she says “for sure”

- The camera angles esp during the fight scene

- And when it zooms in on Davey after Jack betrays him and the guys and then it pans back to Jack who just looks so helpless

- The world’s yer erster!

- Les making the deal w/ Jack

- Les’s reaction to Medda’s theatre

- How excited Les got when Katherine said “let’s get drunk!” in King of NY

- Just everything about Les he’s perfect

- GO AND LOOK IT UP THE POOoOooOoR GUUuyYYY’S HEAD IS SPINNING

- How Davey says “… that’s it??” after Katherine first taps in King of NY

- The face Jack makes after shaking Roosevelt’s hand

- The audience losing their minds during the key change in Once and For All when the towers move forward and also during Brooklyn’s Here

- The audience cracking up at “why do old people talk so much?” “to prove they’re still alove”

- When Hannah secretly applauds Jack for the strike in Pulitzer’s office

- When the live audience throws papes at the stage during curtain call

- Jeremy attempting to do a dance move and almost falling during curtain call

- The girl next to me sadly whispering “oh Crutchie” after he sings “watch me stand, watch me run” during the Prologue

- The same girl during credits: “Tommy Braco?? Tommy BRACO?!?” and “Spot Conlan?! Spot CONLAN?!?” “WHY CAN’T THEY BOTH BE SPELLED RIGHT AT THE SAME TIME?!”

- Basically I loved everything 

Dislikes:

- It’s not in theaters anymore and it’s not available for purchase (yet, hopefully it will be soon)

- So little screen time for Spot Conlon and Kid Blink, aka the sweet cinnamon roll that is Andy Richardson 

- I basically cried for the whole 2 and a half hours

Loosely based off of how often Lindsay posts about her vivid dreams/nightmares - I like to imagine that Ruby has the same issue. 

Given her wild imagination, Ruby probably has a lot of really intense dreams. Some of them good and some of them not. Yang is accustomed to it, she’s had many nights where she wakes Ruby up when she starts talking or yelling in her sleep. 

It was a harder adjustment for the dorm room though, when Blake first heard Ruby yelling “WHERE IS SHE?!” it was pretty scary. Especially since she only really knew Ruby as a bubbly and bouncy kid. 

Weiss hated it at first, if only because the one time she woke up and tried to help it was after Ruby had a really bad nightmare and started crying and talking about her mom and Weiss was completely unequipped to help. It made her feel bad, like failing a test. How could she be the best partner ever if she couldn’t make Ruby feel better?

So she eventually asked Yang for some advice and when she said she wanted to help deal with it, on the rare occasions it came up, Yang was surprised but grateful. Blake wanted in on it too, for team unity and all that. Not because she cared - she didn’t. Of course not…not Blake Belladonna….nahh.

Eventually, they worked out a system and if Ruby started talking in her sleep, first one to hear it was on Ruby Duty. 

Blake would usually hear it first, but if Weiss happened to as well it was Weiss’ turn. For the really bad ones, they’d bring in Yang and Yang would sit up on Ruby’s bunk until she calmed down and both Weiss and Blake would usually stay up, pretending to be asleep, waiting for Yang to come down meaning Ruby had fallen back asleep. 

It’s not anything any of them talked about, and it didn’t happen very often, but Ruby’s dreams were something all of them became very aware of and adjusted to.

When Beacon fell, Ruby didn’t have anyone there to help her through the bad ones. It took a toll on her for a while because she struggled to fall asleep. Once she hit the road with Jaune, Nora and Ren - it was something she knew would happen and hoped she could handle. She was trying to convince herself every day that she was old enough to take care of herself. She didn’t need a bed buddy to help her through a bad dream. 

Then a bad one hit her during a night camping in the forest. It wasn’t her mother or a Grimm attack - it was watching Penny be torn to pieces. It shook her, badly - to the point that she woke up screaming and scared the hell out of her new team. 

With no way to keep it to herself, Ruby told them all about her dreams and how they’ve always been something she’s dealt with. About how after Beacon fell, they were even worse and more like flashbacks than nightmares - tormenting her. 

That’s when Nora started sleeping a little closer and Ren started helping Ruby clear her mind before it was time to go to bed with breathing exercises and good stretching routines to help her relax. Jaune would make a note to tell dumb jokes he’d heard or tell Ruby about all the silly things he collected as a kid. 

The nightmares lessened and Ruby found herself sleeping better. Which made it all the easier to help Jaune when she found out he wasn’t sleeping well either 

J-Hope: *slightly traumatized*  I just saw the weirdest thing ever while passing Jungkook’s room…

Taehyung: What?

J-Hope: Jimin was…twirling…while only wearing an oversized white shirt…

Jungkook: *gets up abruptly off the couch and knocks his knee on the coffee table* Ummm, I-I gotta go…umm…s-sort out the shirts in my closet! Cause’ it’s a mess! Right Jin hyung!? You’re always telling me to clean it up so let me go do it now!

 *leaves hurridly while clutching knee*

Yoongi: *scoffs* More like sort Jimin out of his shirt…

Jin: …But he cleaned it yesterday…

Taehyung: *starts singing loudly* CAUGHT IN A LIEEEEEEE~

J-Hope: *slightly more traumatized*