my head in my hands rn
some kind of resolution - ThunderstormsandMemories - Merlin (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

fandom: merlin

ship: merlin/arthur

rating: t probably, nothing more than canon

summary: “I must take responsibility for my own actions,” said Arthur, still staring down at his hands and refusing to meet Merlin’s gaze. “I can’t let anyone shield me from that any longer.” He lifted his head, his eyes snapping up to meet Merlin’s. “Even a sorcerer.”

1x11/Labyrinth of Gedref except the magic reveal happens immediately prior to the final test

this, like so many of the things I’m working on rn, is the fault of/inspired by @duckswithwings

Second Chances ~pt 3~

pairing: calum x reader

word count: 1,182

ok finally getting around to posting this…there may be a part 4 but that’s if people request it although i lowkey like how it ends rn ahhhh

enjoy xx

part 1  part 2

Calum’s POV
I rest my head against the headboard, exhaling deeply as I tried to understand what had just happened. Y/N had just left my apartment and I could tell she was hurt. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn’t listen. She told me she needed some time, but what did that mean? How long would it be until I saw or heard from her again?

“Calum?” Ashton called from the living room. He walked into my room, holding a cup of coffee in his hands. “Did Y/N just walk out of here half naked?”

I nodded, rubbing my tired eyes and letting out a yawn. “Yes, yes she did.”

“Can you explain to me why?”

“Well,” I trailed off, “We may have hooked up last night while we were both drunk off our asses.”

His eyes widened, nearly dropping his coffee. “You two hooked up? Damn, how drunk were you?”

“Shut up. But now I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean? Did you try and fix things between you guys?”

“I tried, but since we were both still naked and couldn’t really have a serious conversation, she left and told me to give her some time.”

He took a sip of his coffee, looking around my messy room with sheets strewn everywhere and my clothes still on the floor where they were shed last night. “Do you think she’ll forgive you for everything?”

“Maybe, if she even talks to me again.” I told him, beginning to lose hope in us.

“You should text her and see if you can meet up or something.” He suggested.

I nodded. “Yeah, later though. I’m going to get some more rest since I have a killer hangover, so leave.”

“Love you too, Cal.” He teased, leaving your room and closing your door behind him.

Your POV
You pulled your jacket closer to shield you from the brisk winds blowing through the streets as you walked to the coffee shop you and Calum agreed on meeting at. Nervousness filled your chest as you crossed the street in front of the cafe, wondering what you would say to him. You two had just hooked up two nights ago, and other than texting about meeting up again in person, you haven’t talked to him since you fled his apartment in a fit of confusion. 

Opening the door to the shop, a little bell rang overheard as you looked around the inside. It was relatively empty, but when your eyes landed on Calum, who was glancing around the shop anxiously, you froze, debating on whether or not you could still bail.

Calum was to quick for you, though. His eyes connected with yours and the two of you stayed completely still, before he stood up and breathed a sigh of relief. “You can’t ignore what happened.”

“I can try.” You said, cautiously walked towards Calum and setting your purse on the table, taking your seat.

He gave you a sad smile before pushing a coffee more in front of you. You took it, taking a sip of the hot drink and letting it’s warmth encompass your chilled body. “Thanks.” You told him, and he just nodded.

“Look, Y/N, I’m so sorry about everything that’s happened to you and that I’ve done to you.” He started out. You took another sip, listening to him. “I know you didn’t deserve any of it and that I was an asshole, but I promise you I’m not that way anymore. I know I’m not perfect but who is in this goddamn world anymore? I was stupid, I did something incredibly dumb, and I’m not proud of the choices I made a year ago. I’m not the same person I was when we were dating and I was hurting you when you didn’t even know it. And you don’t understand how earnestly sorry I am for hurting you more than anyone else has.”

You stared him in the eyes, thinking over his heart felt words he spoke with the same raspy voice you fell in love with years ago. “What do you want me to say?”

He took a deep breath, taking your hands which were placed on the table in his, his large hands holding yours tightly. “I just want a second chance, Y/N. To make up for everything and show you how well we went together before and how happy we were.”

“I just don’t–” You began, dropping your head and closing your eyes. “I don’t believe in second chances.” His grip on your hands loosened but you immediately squeezed his hands tighter and opened your eyes. “But I also believe in the saying ‘if you love something, set it free; if it comes back it was meant to be but if it doesn’t, then it never was.’ ”

“So, so what are you saying?” He asked, searching your eyes for answers.

“I’m not giving you a second chance.” You told him. “Life is. And I’m living the life I’m meant to live, which apparently includes you.”

The widest grin appeared on his face. “Oh, Y/N, thank you. I promise you I’ll never ever hurt you like I did in the past.”

“Of course you won’t, I’m not letting it happen.” You laughed. “Just so you know, this doesn’t mean we’re dating again. I haven’t talked to you since we broke up, other than the other night which doesn’t count, but for all I know you could’ve changed into someone I don’t like. Friends is where we’ll start, got it?”

“That’s totally fine with me.” He smiled, his cute dimples showing. 

“Good.” You said, taking another sip of your coffee. “Now what?”

After a 5 minute long debate on whether it was too cold outside, you two ended up taking a walk towards the small district of the city, admiring the cute, run down shops. You two hung out as friends, there was no sexual tension between the two of you, which you were surprised at considering what had ensued a few nights ago. It felt like old times, spending time with him. You missed hanging with him, honestly, you missed everything about him. All the spontaneous dates at the randomest times, the late night coffee runs and early morning cuddling. All the feelings from you two dating years ago were coming back, and it was as if nothing had changed between the two of you. Calum cheating on you was the last thing you would’ve guessed, or even thought of him doing to you. The two of you were so in love, it was more like best friends destined to be each other. 

And here you were, as friends, walking down the street hand in hand. Glasses masked his identity from bystanders, and you looked up at him, with his hood up and the scruff on his jaw now visible. You smiled to yourself, happy with where you had gotten. There were no real strings attached in this moment, and unlike the times you spent  “in love” with Blake, you felt genuinely happy. 


u know i’m going 2 share things under the cut i’m so sorry @ mobile users if it doesn’t read more properly oh my god BUT GUYS I’M LIVING RN

Keep reading

like first of all, i’m not going to be compliant in the death of my friend at the hands of the police so like, remove that whole idea from your shitty little heads rn.

i will not, nor would i Ever, call the police or an ambulance on someone over the internet no matter how serious the matter was because you know what? it’s none of my business. and barring all that. they’re my friend. wonderful is my friend. and i’m not going to put him through months, or even years, of grueling debt just because i wanted to be selfish and play the hero. 

obviously i care. obviously i’m fucking devastated rn and i’m losing my mind and i’ve been trying to contact him now for hours and no response. like if you think i’m sitting here doing nothing you’re wrong. 

but it’s not my place. i’m not there with him. 

nor do i even know where he is right now!! believe it or not, he’s homeless!!! i have no Fucking Clue what his temp address is, what his moms or sisters address is, where he might be right at this moment. idek what fucking city he’s in right now!! so could you maybe perhaps hop off my ass!!! 

i get it!! i’m useless, and i’m a shitty horrible friend!!! i don’t need to be reminded!!! 

Interrogation Tag

Thanks for tagging me @cyphonism

Rules: Tag 10 of your followers you want to interrogate

Nicknames: i hate nicknames so just call me Tracey
Height: ~5′4 ish
Current Time: 6:08am
Last thing I googled: lucama
Favorite Music Artist: OneRepublic because their music is just so beautiful
Song stuck in my head: nothin rn
Last movie I watched: Moonlight
What I’m wearing now: my pajamas (a grey t shirt and the stereotypical plaid pajama pants)
When I created this blog: August 2013
What I post: hands, trains, memes
Do I have other blogs: Nope
Do I get asks regularly: somewhat
Why did I choose my URL: It’s a mashup of Safetysuit and OneRepublic
Hogwarts House: slythern
Pokemon team: im not in one
Favorite Colors: grey, black, and white
Average hours of sleep: 7-10 hours
Lucky number: I don’t have one
Favorite characters: entire case of Mr Robot
Number of blankets I sleep with: 2 or none
I’m Following: 111

I tag @aqhrodites @sarcasticallygenius @dogstbh @20nerepublic @imsogladwecansharethismagic

I’m having such an odd headache rn… not a pressure headache, but similar. It’s like having a headache in the same genre as what my head feels like when I’m dissociating?

also my injection site hurts, but i think that’s more to do with the fact that I had to do this shot left-handed to get the right angle for this half of my stomach, so the needle wasn’t as still as it has been in the past.

Me: I love EXO!!1!1 EXO IS LIFE!11!!

Me after EXO’RDIUM: W-what *dizzy* is EXO, *sways on my feet* what is LIFE *drops to the ground* 

Family: *throw flowers on my grave and shake their heads in sorrow* She didn’t know what she was getting into, she didn’t know and it killed her. 

Me from my grave: *hands tremble as I raise my lightstick and whisper* E-EXO S-S-ARANGHAJA!