my hand jobs are not second rate

Apple Pie Order

or Jack and Bitty see each other naked outside of the locker room

Bitty is in a mood. Most would call it restlessness, because that’s what it is. It’s because Bitty should be working on an essay for class, but he gets panicky every time he starts thinking about just how many words he has to write, so he’s on the hunt for a distraction.

Baking is too easy for a mood like this. He could do that with his eyes closed and half asleep. So, he falls back to his other fall-back. House-cleaning.

He’s already cleaned his room and the kitchen, and he’s tidied the main room, going so far as to give the green couch a very cautious wipe-down. He’s currently in the upstairs bathroom he shares with Ransom and Holster, earbuds in and blasting Beyoncé. The toilet has never looked so clean, and the grout he thought was a permanent fixture in the corner of the shower just needed a hospital strength cleaning liquid and five minutes of scrubbing.

He’s got all the bits and bobs for bathroom cleaning in a bucket, and he figures he’ll just do Jack and Shitty’s bathroom while he’s in the zone.

There is less to take care of in this bathroom, which is good but also bad because this is really the last place Bitty feels comfortable cleaning (he’s not going to mess around with anyone’s bedroom). After this he’ll actually need to do his school work.

He’s scrubbing at flecks of toothpaste on the mirror when Jack walks in to the bathroom.

Bitty didn’t hear him over the Beyoncé, but he for sure can see him.

One minute, Bitty’s focusing on a stubborn glob of toothpaste that won’t shift, and the next second there’s a penis in the mirror. Jack’s penis, specifically.

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We’ll Kill Him for You

An OT5 fic me and @dont-hurt-tony-stark came up with. No actual smut just mentions of it. 

“My hand jobs are not second rate.” Tony blurts from his position sitting on the counter, four heads slowly turn to stare at him. Judgmental expressions on their faces. “Well they’re not, I don’t care what Jason from accounting says”

“No, they aren’t.” Steve agrees, smiling at Tony.

“Who the fuck is Jason from accounting?” Clint demands, jumping out of his seat. Tony rolls his eyes at the dramatics.

“Cute guy, that’s not the point.” Tony lays back across the counter. “The point is that my hand jobs are not second rate.”

“We can all agree to that. But, it doesn’t answer the question Tony.” Natasha points out. “Who is Jason from accounting.” Tony groans, throwing his arms over his head.

“What? Is Jason from accounting not enough information for you, Ms. Super spy? It’s Jason, the one from accounting.” She glares at him, and Tony pales slightly. Might not be a great idea to get snarky with Natasha this late at night.

“Does this building even have an accounting department? I’ve never seen accounting here?” Clint muses. Tony groans loudly.

“Whoever Jason is I don’t remember having talked to him, ever.” Steve muses. Tony glares at him from where his head is buried under his arms.

"What the hell, Tony?” Clint asks. “Who is this guy?”

“ Well first of all, you guys are dumb. Of course, accounting is in this building. Seriously it’s company headquarters.” Tony scowls at them. Steve vaults the couch in his rush to get into the elevator, Clint not far behind him. "Guys it is midnight! And Jason works in the San Francisco department! Seriously guys!”

“You should really mention that first next time.” Natasha informs him, she smiles warmly at him. Tony squints at her suspiciously.

“It’s midnight, I didn’t exactly expect them to go hunt Jason down in an empty office building.” Tony defends. “Hell, I didn’t think they’d try to hunt him down at all.”

“Okay, anyways speaking of San Francisco, I wanted to go check out California sometime soon.” Natasha says. Tony squints at her suspiciously. “What? I’ve heard there’s some great places to shop down there.”

“It’s midnight.” Clint announces as the elevator doors slide open. “Jason is not here.” Tony groans, and slides off the counter, glaring at Clint.

“Guys it was a joke. Jason did not actually say my hand jobs were second rate I was quoting a YouTube video. Please don’t try to hunt down or kill Jason from accounting.” Tony pleads. Steve nods agreeably.

"Okay.” Clint says, and Tony relaxes. “Jason didn’t say your hand jobs were second rate, but did Jason ever experience a hand job from you?” Tony groans.  

“Well, yes. But-” Tony starts to defend himself. Clint sticks his finger in Tony’s face.

“Murder time!” Clint declares. Natasha nods solemnly in the background. Steve at least looks mildly conflicted, and Bruce seems to have fallen asleep on the couch.

“No. You cannot kill someone I slept with three years ago.” Tony scolds, shoving Clint’s hand out of his face.

“Why not?” Clint whines. Tony looks to Steve for support, and gets nothing.

“Well for one thing, he’s a nice guy, and also, he’s pretty. I think his boyfriend and him are looking to adopt soon. No killing him.” Tony says. Steve finally seems to be on his side, glaring Clint into silence. “Plus he’s hot.” Tony tacks on.

“I’m killing him.” Natasha states.

“Nat, no. You can’t just kill every hot person I’ve slept with.” He says, she raises an eyebrow in a way that very much indicates she’s taking that as a challenge. “No, no, no. I will not tolerate the murder of anyone who isn’t actively threatening civilian lives.” Tony says.

“But you let him touch your dick.” Clint whines. Natasha nods along.

“I also let every girl on the playboy calendar in 2008 touch my dick, what’s your point? I’m a slut guys.” He points out. Steve scowls at that.

“You are not-“ Steve starts to protest.

“That’s not what you said last night.” Tony interrupts and Steve goes bright red. “The blushing is cute Steve but you’re dating everyone in this room, there is no need to be so embarrassed.”

“We can kill them too.” Natasha points out, choosing to ignore Steve.

“If you’re killing everyone who’s touched my dick then you’re going to have to kill everyone in this room, including me.” He points at a sleeping Bruce. “Not exactly an easy task. No Clint, that is not a challenge.” Clint’s face falls.

“You’d also have to kill a bunch of reporters, a few European models, some MIT Alumni.” Tony rattles off. “Oh, and Tiberius Stone, actually go ahead on that one if you really want to kill someone. Then there’s the Russian Olympic team from 2004-“

“Wait, why is Tiberius an exception?” Steve asks, more like a demand then a question. Tony’s stomach feels cold, and his eyes dart towards the elevator.

“Well,” He hedges, scanning for another exit. “He is an asshole.” There’s someone between him and ever potential exit other than the window, and he isn’t that desperate, yet. He can hide behind a sleeping Bruce if he has to.

“What did he do to you?” Natasha asks, and suddenly there’s a gun on his coffee table and a knife in her hands. “I will kill him for you Antoshka.”

“There is no call for knives on date night Natasha, no call.” He splutters, taking a step towards Bruce. Her eyes narrow.

“Seriously Tony, what did he do to you?” Clint asks, and that is his serious face, Tony does not want to deal with this.

“Can we not? I really don’t need an interrogation on date night.” Tony crosses his arms over his chest and tries for his best kicked puppy look in hopes of making them stop.

“We would like to know why we’ll be killing him, that’s all.” Natasha tries to soothe him. “You should tell us Antoshka.” Tony shakes his head.

“Nope, I’m going to go hide in my lab. Please, don’t kill Jeremy from accounting.” Tony says, pushing past Clint.

“I thought his name was Jason.” Clint mumbles, as Tony gets blocked by Steve. Tony rolls his eyes.

“Yes, it was Jason, I also fucked Jeremy there are a lot of hot guys in accounting, okay?” Tony throws his hands up in frustration.

“Why do all their names start with J?” Clint mutters to himself, the rest of the room decides to ignore him.

“Tell us what Tiberius did, or we’ll have to ask Rhodey.” Steve threatens. Tony decides he’d rather pay attention to Clint.

“Yes, all of their names do start with J.” Tony says, after a moment of thought. “Now Steve, I’d like you to get your boobs out of my face. I’m going to my lab now.” Steve shakes his head.

“No, you didn’t tell us what Tiberius did. We need to know Tony.” Steve says. Tony’s jaw tightens, and he glares up at Steve.

“I am going to my lab now. Move.” Tony says, his voice ringing with a tone usually reserved for people who ruin date night, and super villains actively holding guns to a child’s head.

“Steve, that’s the murder face, and voice. You should probably move.” Clint says. Steve scowls, but steps out of the way, saving himself some serious harm. Tony would never hurt anyone he’s dating, but he also doesn’t kiss people when they’re being assholes. With three other people to kiss, well, he can be stubborn.

“Okay, but I’m asking Rhodey.” Steve grumbles. Tony waves them off, disappearing into the elevator.

“Great, it’s been a joy talking to you all really.” He flashes them a sharp grin as the doors slide shut. Clint winces.

“I think we’re in trouble.” Clint sighs, immediately perking back up though and turning to Natasha. “We’re killing this Tiberius guy, right?” She nods, using the knife to clean under her nails.

“Of course, provided Tony doesn’t attempt to stop us.” She says. “He already gave us permission after all.” Steve looks hesitant.

“Shouldn’t we call Rhodey and make sure this guy deserves to be murdered before we actually, you know, kill him?” Steve asks. Natasha shrugs.

“Tony’s not hiding in his lab avoiding our questions because Tiberius is a nice guy Steve. We’re going to kill him.” She says, it’s a fair point, but he still wants to call Rhodey.

“We’re totally killing him.” Clint agrees, holding out a hand to Natasha for a fist bump.

“Can we at least find out what he did, before we kill him?” Steve asks, Natasha considers this for a second.

“Yes, I need to know how slowly he deserves to die.” Natasha says. “Do it quickly though, it’s not going to take me long to track down someone named Tiberius. It’s like his parents wanted him to be an asshole with that name.” She pulls out her phone, to hunt him down.

“Okay, let’s hope Rhodey’s awake. JARVIS can you call him?” Steve requests.

“Certainly Sir.” JARVIS agrees.

“He’s probably asleep like a normal person.” Clint points out. Steve glares at him.

“Let me hope Clint, let me hope.” There’s a loud beep as Rhodey picks up the phone.

“Tony, I swear if this is another my boyfriends and girlfriend don’t love my crisis.” Rhodey grumbles. “It’s the middle of the night.” Natasha looks up, interested.

“We’re getting back to that. Steve wants to know what Tiberius did to Tony so he won’t feel so bad for letting Clint and I murder him.” Natasha explains. Rhodey groans, they can hear blankets rustling.  

“Just kill the fucker and let me go back to sleep.” He grumbles.

“Can’t you just tell us why we’re killing him?” Steve pleads. Clint is staring eagerly at the ceiling waiting for an answer.

“Nope, it’s not my place to tell you, and I think I’ve spilled enough of Tony’s secrets. Seriously just kill him. Tony didn’t let me because of my career.” Rhodey grumbles, a hint of bitterness coloring his tone at the last sentence. “Can I go to sleep now, or did you need anything else?”

“I’ll let you sleep if you tell us what Tiberius did to Tony.” Steve says.

“Fuck off Rogers, I’m going to bed.” The dial tone rings out, and Steve seriously considers calling back again.

“Well, that was rude.” Clint comments, after a moment of silence.

“I am currently operating under the understanding that harassing people to divulge other’s secrets in the middle of the night could also be considered rude, Agent Barton.” JARVIS chimes in, Clint actually looks slightly ashamed under the weight of JARVIS’ disapproval.

“We just want to know what he did.” Clint mumbles, defensive. Natasha pats his shoulder consolingly.

“Don’t worry, we can just ask Tiberius before we kill him.” She says.

“Alternatively, and this might be shocking.” Bruce says, sitting up from where he’d been napping on the couch. Natasha absolutely does not jump, Steve absolutely does. “Completely out of left field idea, you could respect Tony’s privacy, and wait for him to tell you.”

“Yeah, we could, but we need to kill Tiberius, and we should know why first.”  Steve says. Bruce blinks at him, a little tired.

“Rhodey says kill him, and Tony said it was okay. I think your morals are safe Steve, he clearly fucked up majorly.” Bruce says. Steve nods along, that makes sense.

“We just want to know though.” Clint whines. Bruce narrows his eyes at him.

“You can want to know all you want, whatever. Respect Tony’s privacy.” Bruce says.

“Fine.” Clint grumbles corssing his arms. His eyes dart over to Natasha, and he leans in to whisper to her. “We’re going to ask Tiberius, right?”

“Obviously.” She whispers back, and Clint smiles. Bruce glares at them.

“Natasha?” He asks.

“What?” She pulls her face into her best innocent expression, it is surprisingly less effective on her boyfriend than it is on international crime lords.

“Don’t act innocent with me.” He says. “I know you, both of you.” He turns his eyes to Clint. She raises up her hands in a show of innocence, the picture is probably ruined by the knife still held in her left hand but the intent is there.

“I didn’t do anything.” She insists.

“And the Hulk is orange.” Bruce snarks back. “Just go kill Tiberius or whatever, but don’t invade Tony’s privacy. I don’t want to have to tag along to protect Tony from you nosy assholes.” She winces at that.

“We’ll be good.” Clint mumbles, and she nods along.

“Promise.” She says, when he squints at her.

“Fine.” He rolls over to go back to sleep, and something occurs to her.

“Wait. Do you know what Tiberius did?” She asks. He fakes a snore, and she jumps onto the arm rest, standing over him. “You know, tell us.” He glares up at her.

“Respect. Tony’s. Privacy.” He says, pulling the blanket over his head.

“Why would Tony tell Bruce, and not us? We’re all dating.” Natasha pouts. Clint shrugs.

“Well, Bruce didn’t interrogate him about it.” Steve points out.

“Shut up Steve, I’m thinking.”

Never let you go

You stepped into your shared apartment and furiously threw your shoes to the side. You’ve had it with Irises attitude, she throws shade towards you about Barry but today you couldn’t hold in your irritation.

“Maybe Barry should find someone that isn’t a gold digger” you rubbed your forehead as the words Iris whispered under her breath came back to you.

You and Iris use to work at Jitters together until one week she never showed up and you had to hear from your boss that she decided to quit leaving you to find out for yourself that her new job was the CCPN.

You felt somewhat betrayed, you talked Irises ears off about wanting to work at that place for years but each time you apply they never call you back and she just snatched the job from under you in a flash.

“just because you got a damn good job and I’m a waitress doesn’t mean I’m after Barry’s money. Why can’t you just mind your business I know you don’t like me I’m not stupid or deaf I hear your insults towards me and I’m done ignoring them ”

You were brought back from your flashback when you felt extreme pain on your hand. You jumped back with a yelp as you fell to the floor, cradling your hand.
You forgot the stove was on when you set your hand on it.

Growling to yourself you ran your hand under cold water and aggressively turned the stove off. “So much for dinner” you blew some hair out your face only for it to fall back, blocking your eyesight as you felt a strong wind against your body.

“There’s my girl” you heard a voice call out excitedly

“Hi Barry” you said quietly as you tried your best to stop shaking from the overwhelming feeling that was taking over your body.

Barry instantly knew something was up, it isn’t rocket science when it comes to figuring out if you were upset or not.

“Babe what’s wrong” In a blink of an eye Barry was in front of you and you bit your lip and suddenly the floor became interesting.

“Hey y/n look at me” Barry says softly as he put both hands in your face and you break down into tears.

“Why does Iris hates me so much” you whimper and Barry pulls you into a hug, letting all your tears stain his clothes.

“Shhh y/n, she doesn’t hate-”
You pushed yourself out his arms, cutting him off in the process. “Yes she does Barry, how come you don’t notice the slick remarks when she’s around huh…she took my dream job, criticizes me about everything I do, judge me because I’m a waitress, and brags about being your best friend and quite frankly I don’t give a damn I’m done with all the nagging” Your heart rate was increasing by the second and Barry sits there, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Don’t worry about Iris okay what matters is that I got you y/n and I’ll never let you go” Barry’s hand finds its way to the side of your face and you lean into it, eyes filled with pure adoration.

“Barry Allen, what did I do to deserve you” You giggle and Barry smirks.
“It’s the other way around y/n” Barry kisses your forehead and starts tickling you and you lose it

“BARRY STOP” you squeal as you try to run away from only for him to appear right in front of you.

“Oh that’s funny, you weren’t really saying that last night y/n” Barry cheekily says and you felt your face heat up.

“Oh be quiet, what are we eating for dinner” you quickly try to change the subject

“Well I was thinking” Barry pushes the straps of your shirt down your shoulder

“Maybe we could recreate last night” He bites his lip as his eyes scan your body up and down and you seductively smile at him
“Hmm how about we get down to business then get takeout”

“Deal” Barry says excitedly with a wink
You truly loved Barry Allen he was a blessing to your life and the moments you did spend with him you liked to take them slow ,cherishing every second that went by since he spent most of his time saving lives.
Currently this was one of those moments.
You were sitting against the headboard as Barry sat between your legs both of you was eating the takeout he promised earlier.
“I love you Barry” you say sleepily
“I love you too y/n, I’ll never let you go” he whispers

Originally posted by thebirdinthesea

Lies, subterfuge, sex, murder…and Rivamika. This is the first chapter of a little side project I’m working on (emphasis on little). Feel free to check it out if you have nothing better to do…

A Dangerous Game

Warning: this story contains violence, language, adult content, drug abuse, prostitution, gratuitous ridiculousness, smut, and all kinds of other things that I’m too lazy to list but also warrant an explicit rating. Hopeless trash not suitable for children under the age of 87.

(Side note: I think the MPAA should let me write those ‘rated’ warnings for movies. I’d do a great job.)

Second side note: Happy 4th to anyone celebrating!

The Island (part 3)

I’m so annoyed at the writers for dragging Omelia through a season of 50 second scenes every 3 episodes. Last night was the straw that broke the camels back. SO- I’m going to escape to one of my AU worlds and hopefully you’ll join me…

1 - 2

She’s glaring at me with her piercing eyes- the hue of indigo but with the electricty of a bright blue- and making sure she wins the unspoken war of eye contact. I won’t let her. This is the second session I’ve been forced to sit in with Amelia Shepherd and we’d both readily agree that it’s as unbearable as the first one was. The brief meeting involved a couple of questions surrounded by deafening silence so quiet you could hear an eyelid drop.

I can tell she finds me attractive and as much as I don’t like her or the reason she’s in my life, I must admit that the feeling is mutual. When I saw her on the plane she had a slight hippy feel to her; she looked overly relaxed and like she didn’t care what anyone thought of her, and why would she when she is so naturally beautiful? She’s now sat in a floral print fitted dress to the knee, bright red high heels, and has her hair swept up in a relaxed bun. Her makeup is understated but defines every sharp and soft contour to her face.

I sound like I’m a gay fashion designer critically assessing a model’s potential for commercial success, I know, but when you’re sat opposite someone in silence with nothing but them as your focus, it’s hard not to notice every minute detail.

“It was a simple yes or no question Owen,” she says, finally breaking the eye contact to look at her notes. Yes, I won that round!

“I seem to have forgotten what it was, sorry… Could you repeat?” I remember exactly what the question was but I’m being petty today, clearly.

“Do you enjoy your job?” she asks of me.

“Do I enjoy it?”

She breathes in deeply as she uncrosses and recrosses her legs on the low armchair sat opposite me, steadying her rising temper at my reluctance to open up. My eyes sweep up the silky smooth cream skin and I shift uncomfortably. “Yes, do you enjoy your job?” she repeats.

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Truce or Defense?

Words:  773
Chapters: 1/??
Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Rating: All ages 
Warnings: None
Characters: Princess Allura, Pidge, Hunk, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Lance, and Prince Lotor 

Note: This chapter follows the final episode of season 4, “A New Defender.“ This is my first fanfic! 


               Within seconds, Keith clutched his ship’s handles and propelled away from the exploding battlecruiser. The Rebel fighters ceased their fire just in time to pull away as well. The Paladins, on the other hand, continued rocketing toward their comrades at mach one speed.

               “Great job, Keith!” Shiro praised.

               “That wasn’t me,” Keith corrected. “That was… Lotor.”

               A heavy silence fell among the team until the exiled prince spoke out.

               “Attention Paladins of Voltron and Rebel Fighters, I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but I think it is time we had a discussion.”

               Matt, Pidge’s brother, was the first one to break the awkward atmosphere.  “Shiro, Keith and my team are within range of Lotor. Should we attack him head on?”

               “Not yet, let’s hear what he…”

               “I disagree,” Princess Allura interjected. “He is the spawn of what is causing havoc across the universe. We must take action now!”

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Second Place Wins - Ashii Black (ashiiblack), Icicle33 (Icicle) - Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

@icicle33 and I discovered that maybe Otabek isn’t so terrifying to write after all. Love that I got to write this with my fandom bestie. <3

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Characters: Otabek Altin, Yuri Plisetsky
Additional Tags: Drinking Games, Blow Jobs, Light Dom/sub, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Orgasm Delay

Yuri entwined his fingers with Otabek’s and brought their hands to rest on Yuri’s cock. Otabek jumped and scooted back, giving him a surprised look.

“As the winner…” Yuri bit down on his bottom lip. “I want you to suck me off.”

OR Otabek visits Yuri and things escalate rather quickly.

Anonymous: Can I request a scenario of their lover breaking up with them?

(I am back with the second installment! Hope you like this one! It can get a little depressing though, so be warned! Also, there’s a lot of swearing for Laito’s scenario and a little bit for Subaru. Hope you guys don’t mind! Don’t be afraid to heart, reblog and follow! Enjoy.)


“Make sure you put as much sugar as you can,” Kanato ordered you. “but it can’t be too disgustingly sweet! Teddy doesn’t want a toothache.”

You stressfully sighed. “Alright. I’ll make your dessert as sweet and perfect as I can.” You poured all needed ingredients inside a bowl and started mixing; you made sure that you added extra sugar so he wouldn’t be able to complain.

“Tch. Teddy, she thinks she can make her food perfect enough for us? She can’t even cook eggs by herself!” Kanato giggled to himself as though he just heard the best joke in his life.

You clenched your fist on the wooden spoon until your knuckles turned painfully white. You were honestly trying to do what he asks, but every step you took was another mistake to him. He’ll find the simplest errors and criticize them like Kanato himself was the greatest cook in the world.

When you put your mix into the oven, you jumped as the childish vampire screeched at you from behind. “What are you doing?!?” He opened the oven’s door and threw the platter holding the food to the ground. You winced in pain as some of the shards scraped your skin. You decided to be brave. “I’m sorry, Kanato… What did I do wrong this time?”

He ground his teeth and glared at Teddy’s head. “(Y/N)-san is such an idiot, Teddy! She can’t do anything right!” His indifferent face contorted to a furious one. He stared at you with exasperation and looked to the stove. “Do you see that?” Kanato pointed at the boiling dark chocolate you were cooking earlier. “Well, do you? Answer me!”

You fearfully nodded. “Yes, I can see the chocolate, Kanato.”

“Alright,” he grinned at you with wide creepy eyes. “If you do then why didn’t you add it?!” He growled at you, enraged. “Everything would have been so much better if you used that pretty little head of yours!”

You knew that his tantrums weren’t to be taken lightly. “I’m really sorry! I’ll make a new batch! It’ll be a lot better and sweeter and-”

“No! No ! No! Teddy and I have lost our appetite because of you!” He stomped his foot on the ground like a petulant child. Suddenly, he started sobbing into his hands. You were surprised by his sudden change. “I was g-going to enjoy my sweets so much!” He wailed. “I was so hungry and T-Teddy wanted to eat something! (Y/N)-san must hate me so much!” He sobbed.

You were slightly freaked out by his bipolar attitude but you decided to placate him. “Kanato, I don’t hate you!” He shook his head in denial. “Really, I don’t!” The vampire was still bawling loudly. “I’m very sorry! Is there anything you want me to do?” You smiled when he stopped crying.

“You’ll do anything?” He softly asked you with a hoarse voice.

“Yeah, I guess.”

He grinned mischievously and you were starting to regret your promise. “Then… I can pour all of that steaming chocolate on you and you won’t get mad, right?”

“What? N-no, that’s no what I meant! Kanato, please don’t-”

Before you knew it, he poured the boiling hot chocolate all over you. You screeched as the heat touched your skin. It wasn’t enough to damage anything permanently, but it still hurt you a lot. Physically and emotionally.

“I love (Y/N) so much! Even if I hurt her, she didn’t get mad! She’s so sweet, Teddy”. The vampire hummed to himself. You shook your head and hissed a little. “Kanato, this is twisted! Argh! I can’t take this anymore! I don’t wanna see you, you monster!” You cried and rushed to the bathroom with tears streaming down your cheeks.

His purple eyes widened considerably. “Ne, Teddy? She doesn’t mean that, right? My precious (Y/N) won’t leave me, right?!?” He innocently cocked his head to the side.



It was lunch time and you were searching for Laito. He told you to wait for him at the school’s cafeteria but you were too restless. Your gut was telling you that something was wrong; that something was going to happen. You just didn’t know what.

Dejectedly, you closed the door of another empty classroom and checked inside the room beside it. You combed through half of the school and you still couldn’t find the fedora wearing pervert. You were starting to get worried. You knew Laito had the knack to go about and search for unneeded trouble.

Since not a lot of people were walking down the halls with you, the tranquil silence was your only companion. You felt your heart beat faster with every step. The annoying thing is, you have no clue why.

When you reached the end of the large school’s last floor, you decided to turn around and eat alone at the canteen if Laito decided to not show up. Before you could take a step back, you heard loud moaning inside the girl’s bathroom. You blushed and looked away. However, a very familiar voice rooted you to the spot.

“Ah~! Osana-chan is so sweet!” You heard Laito from the bathroom. You stayed quiet and listened. You felt like a creep, but you needed to know what was going on. “I just wanna keep you forever~! You’re the only one for me.” The vampire’s careless choice of words shattered your heart to dust.

You heard girlish giggles and you barely made out the sound of clothing being removed. Sucking in a deep breath, you bit your trembling lip and opened the door to the girl’s bathroom.

When you entered the room, you saw Laito and some brunette girl having a heated make out session. Laito didn’t have his shirt on and his partner was only in her scandalously thin and lacy bra and panties. Your chest hurt when you noticed that Laito was thoroughly enjoying himself.

In an attempt to stop them and to make your faint presence known, you boldly called out his name. “Laito! What are you doing?” You asked with narrowed eyes. You were slightly proud of yourself. Your facial expressions didn’t convey the inner turmoil you were experiencing.

He abruptly stopped kissing the brunette and acknowledged your enraged form. “Eh? What is my Bitch-chan doing here? I thought I told her to wait in the cafeteria…” He innocently pouted and brightened as he spoke his next sentence. “Do you want to join Osana-chan and I? A threesome doesn’t sound so bad~!” He giggled.

“You are such a jerk, Laito.” You smiled bitterly and looked at the ground in humiliation. With a shaky breath, you calmly tried to say what you wanted without looking like a desperate girlfriend. “I mean, I gave you everything, didn’t I? Did you get bored with me? Aren’t I as pretty as her?” You pointedly looked at the blushing whore Laito was still holding.

“Now, now, Bitch-chan! No need to get upset with me! Fu fu~” He smirked at you. “Didn’t you already know what you were getting into when you hooked up with me?”

You stared at him with an aghast front. “I’m not a fucking hook up! I am your girlfriend! You know, the one you’re supposed to run to when your hormones kick in?” You tried to cram that information into his skull. “I loved you, Laito! You’re what my life revolves around right now! And this is what I should expect in return? Stand by as you tell this brunette cumslut that you wanna motorboat her saggy tits forever?”

You ignored the wetness that streamed down your face. “Do you think you can just get a second rate hand job from a plastic bimbo and get away with it? Do you think I’d hop in a threesome with you? You’re more stupid than I thought, you manwhore!” You shouted brutally.

“But, Bitch-chan~!” He sighed dramatically.

You raised your hand in defeat and glowered him. “I give up! I’m tired of giving you chances. You can go eat a dick, you bastard.” You flipped him off. Before you left them, you scowled at the brunette. “Hey, you tramp! Have fun with the herpes you now have! If you have any questions, go ask Laito over there. He’s a real fucking expert.”



“Subaru, can we talk?”

“Huh? Um, yeah sure.” The albino hesitantly nodded. He wasn’t completely stupid; the apologetic tone you used and your averted eyes were dead giveaways.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m really sorry, Subaru.” You looked at your shoes as though they were so interesting. “I just want you to know that there are no hard feelings and I completely understand if you want to falcon punch me in the face later.”

“Tch! Spit it out already!” He growled. “It won’t do you any good if you keep rambling nonsense.” Subaru was getting really nervous. He certainly did not like where this conversation going. He wanted to get it over with.

You laughed nervously. “Well, the thing is…” You guiltily looked up at his stunning bright red eyes. “I’m breaking up with you!” Quickly, you said. Your eyes glistened with tears as you finally said those words to him.

Instead of the instant answer you expected from him, you were worried when he simply stared at you blankly. You could practically hear the gears churning in his head as he mulled over your quick confession. This was going to end bad.

“… Why?” He asked you softly. All the evidence of his old brash self was replaced with a calm and accepting persona. “Please, (Y/N). I need to know.” His eyes begged you to reply. He wanted you to say that you were kidding. He wanted you to say that it was an anime thing he didn’t understand. He wanted you to laugh your beautiful laugh and continue the day together like always.

You averted your eyes and looked at anything else but him. You hated saying these words. “It’s nothing you ever did, Subaru… It’s all me. I’m not good enough for you! You deserve someone stronger! Someone much more beautiful! Someone that won’t get you angry every five minutes!” You remained stoic and prevented yourself from crying.

“What the hell, (Y/N)?!?” He yelled at you. “I don’t understand what the bloody hell kind of crap you’re telling me right now.”

You weakly winced at his sudden outburst. “It’s the same kind of crap girlfriends spew when they’re breaking all ties they have with their sweet, awesome and totally-out-of-their-league boyfriend.”

“But… But everything was going so perfectly! You’re lying to me!” He shouted loudly.

You played with your fingers awkwardly. “I’m not, Subaru. Please make this easier for both of us and break up with me.” You wanted to stop. You really did! But you knew that you couldn’t turn back.

“… I really am a monster, aren’t I?” He told himself.

He was going to start monologuing to himself, you knew it. “No, Subaru, you aren’t-”

Your boyfriend looked at you indignantly. “I’m not, huh? Are you sure?!? My own fucking girlfriend doesn’t want me! I’m too ugly for this world; too polluted. I might as well lock myself up.”

You gave one look at his heartbroken face and eloped him in a tight hug. “Oh, Subaru… You’re the sweetest and nicest person I know! I’m leaving you for the greater good.” You finished lamely.

“Okay.” He finally seemed to accept. “I’ll see you around.” He left you feeling like the worst person in the world.


“Did you do it? Can I talk to him now? Do you think I can be his next girlfriend?”

You glared at the girl. “Yeah. He’s pretty fucking sad and vulnerable right now. Knock yourself out.”

“Thanks, (Y/N)-chan! You’re so sweet!” She mockingly gave you a hug. She giggled and whispered in your ear, “Don’t worry, (Y/N)! Now no one needs to know your dirty little secret, right?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Aftermath (Kylo RenxReader)

Originally posted by trashwilldo

“You’re angry with me.”

Your eyes flicked up to his but you said nothing. You continued the task at hand and kept applying the iridescent serum on the burn that marred Kylo’s face. The cells were already repairing themselves, the mark already lightening.

“That’s it isn’t it?” His eyes narrowed as he searched your usually smiling face and found your mouth was set in a hard line.

“Not at all,” you sighed. You stood up and looked down at Kylo, taking him by the chin to examine the mark. Satisfied you had done what you could, you sealed the jar and placed it on a nearby shelf. “It’s something far worse than that.”

“What is it then?” You turned to face him before answering plainly.

“Disappointment.”  He immediately rose from his chair, hands clenched and brow furrowed into a glare. “Oh don’t bother,” you said unfazed. “The time for fighting has passed, which you failed at. Miserably. The proofs all…” you paused to flourish your hand at his face. “There.”

You stood your ground as he stomped toward you, forcing all the furniture of his way as his anger filled eyes met yours.

“You weren’t there you don’t understand!”

“I wish I had been.” you hissed. “Maybe then we wouldn’t be on an escape ship running to the other side of the system!”

“She was strong with the Force!” he yelled.

“So are you,” you seethed. “You’ve been training since you were a child and she discovered her powers mere hours ago yet here you stand, ‘Master of the Knights of Ren’, mutilated and defeated.”

“She was stronger than us!”

“Not stronger than me,” you spat. “You obviously, but not me. Maybe if you hadn’t been distracted with your familial ties she could have been apprehended earlier.”

“That was something I had to do. It was ordered by Supreme Leader.”

“Don’t use that as an excuse. Your father could have been dealt with at any time yet you let that take priority over the mission at hand. But at least we know you cannot be outmatched by 60 year old smugglers. Though it seems Wookies still pose a threat.” That comment made him snap and he grabbed you by the throat and held you against the wall. You kicked him in his injured side and he immediately let go. He fell to his knees, holding his side and gasping. You yelled out in frustration. “The command in this order is useless! First, Phasma allows herself to be blindsided and lowers our shields leaving us completely vulnerable. Then you go running around in the forest and let the scavenger and the traitor get away without even getting a glimpse at the map. At this rate will be done within months, if we’re lucky enough to get that much time!”

“Well since we failed so miserably what were you doing during all of this!” Kylo exclaimed. Within the next second you had a fistful of his matted hair and yanked his head back.

“My job!” you yelled. “If it hadn’t been for me we wouldn’t have even been able to leave that iceberg!” You opened your hand and shoved his head before grabbing the light saber from his belt. He grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking this so you don’t destroy or kill anything while I’m gone.” You snatched your arm away and clipped the saber on your belt next your own.

“Where are you going?” he demanded as you made your way to the door.

“To speak to Hux. Who would have thought he would be the only one I could count on.” You stopped when you reached the door and spoke softly, your back still to the injured sith. “I’ll be back later to check on you.” The doors slid open and you exited, determination in your step.  Kylo sighed and leaned back against an overturned table. He couldn’t remember the last he’d seen you this angry. If you were this angry with him, he felt bad for Phasma if she managed to run into you.  

Galactica, part 10.

Hey guys. Can you believe we have already made it to part 10 of Galactica? To me it feels completly insane.

In this chapter Violet spends some alone time, Katya visits Trixie at work, Courtney continues to fuck up and we also meet everyones favorit supermodel.

A thousand thanks to @samrull and @toriibelledarling who are my rocks in the writing process of this story, and a special thank you to Nyx for being the darling you are <3

I’m looking forward to hearing what you think of this chapter!

(Rating: M)

Keep reading

why do straight people have such unrealistic standards for dating, like “ohh he has to be at least 5 inches taller than me and ripped but not grossly buff with brown hair and facial hair but not too much facial hair and he needs to be brilliant and rich and have an impressive job and live nearby and match my beliefs in every way possible and hunt for his food in the woods using only his bare hands, also he must have been to space and have blue eyes and speak 10 languages and play every instrument known to man.” ok that’s cool that you know what you like, but i will fall for literally any girl within a 150 mile radius who has thought about being queer for longer than 30 seconds. the world population cant possibly be growing at the rate it is if straights are this picky what’s going on