my hair is not really happy about it can you tell

You know why I'm not okay?

I feel rejected. Abandoned. Not good enough. There are so many things I’m really good at and none of that helps. I have so many good traits and qualities and none of that helps. I have so many material possessions and accomplishments and none of that makes a difference.
Why? If society tells me all of those things will make me happy, why do I feel so far from it? Because none of those things make a difference. Your value is not determined by any of those things, you can’t change it. Happiness is all about human connection and I am isolated.
I have spent the last two months doing everything under the sun, taking every opportunity I can to distract myself and keep busy so I don’t have to face my feelings of unworthiness. Well now I’m feeling them. My value is always high and always the same, it never changes. I’m never unworthy but if I hide myself from the world, avoid talking about my feelings or even thinking about them to myself, and keep myself distracted 24/7, I will eventually fall into a dark hole.
I thought I was living a wild bold life but really it was a numb, reckless episode all part of an effort to distract myself from my inadequate feelings that can’t be changed by a hair cut or a piercing or another night of endless dancing. None of those things are really destructive but none of them are solutions, they just give me a temporary high and push off my feelings until later but they can’t make them go away.
People keep telling me I’m so brave and so fearless lately but in reality I’m just not okay and acting out. I feel completely detached from the things around me in a reckless way. My original plan was to cut off all my hair even shorter than it is, I didn’t care if it looked pretty or not. I didn’t wanna look pretty anymore anyway. It’s not some cool brave move it’s a cry for help.
I mean it is cool looking back that I’ve been able to take so much value off my hair and realize I’m still beautiful and a good person with or without it. I’m really enjoying this new chapter, don’t get me wrong. And I LOOOOVE my hair!!!! Regardless of the insane motives I’m so happy with it and I’m totally team short hair now haha. So many hairstyles I wanna try coming up, it’s definitely fun. I’ve just made it look like im doing really well, which is confusing cuz I partially have been, I’ve felt a lot of joy with all these changes, that joy is genuine, I just haven’t shown the storm inside of me cuz I didn’t even really realize it was there until the last few days. So I guess I couldn’t have shown you something I didn’t even know was inside me, that’s fair. I suppose I was trying to convince myself my life was awesome too. Which it is!?! But it’s not 100% good like I tried to believe it was. I’m having issues that I’m going insane trying to avoid.
All I’ve needed this whole time was to just take a second, sit down, stop running, ask myself what’s really going on, write out all my feelings, listen to a few key songs, bawl my eyes out for an hour or two and repeat it a couple times a week until I feel better. THAT’S IT. That is how I heal every time. Feelings aren’t that complex. Situations can be extremely complicated and confusing but the emotions they bring about are usually pretty straightforward. All you have to do is think about things that have happened to you that really hurt you and write down all the ways they made you feel. Get in touch with it. Cry. Feel it. Acknowledge it and then you’ll be able to finally let it go. I’ve been avoiding that for a while now which is weird for me cuz I’m usually so in touch with my emotions but I’m SO relieved cuz I finally just had the best cry of my life minutes before writing this. I listened to Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin (HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!!!!!!!) and it describes me so perfectly like every single lyric, I totally needed that to release all that bottled up emotion. Sometimes you can’t identify things on your own, you need to hear someone else say it and then it clicks. I’m telling you I haven’t cried that hard in ages, that was deep. I really needed that. I already feel so much lighter and I’m gonna keep doing that until I feel better, if it takes weeks or months I don’t care. I KNOW I will release all this emotion and get to the bottom of this deep wound and H E A L. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. So don’t worry about me, just know that there’s way more than you see. I wanted you guys to know both sides of the story, even if it’s not quite detailed. I’ve been really reckless and impulsive compared to the way I usually live my life and while it’s been fun and exciting and explosive, it’s not a good way to live. I need to start thinking things through more again. I wanna calm down and respect myself and my need for peace and just breathe and face my feelings and take care of my heart. We all deserve to be protected and cherished and it needs to start from within.
Love you guys thanks for listening ❤️

2

Hair update!!

So the pic on the left was taken last night (sorry for weird dorm lighting) but clearly there’s a difference! I got a texlax (or texturizer whatever you want to call it) last Friday and the right was my texlax in May. So about 5 ish months. I usually push for 6 but the way my schedule is I needed to go.

I really think those Mielle Organics pills made this happen because the way I do my hair really hasn’t changed that much. I am detangling differently but the products and method are still the same. Either way I’m super happy about it and hope for more growth!

For those who don’t know from my last hair update my hair is texlaxed but the ends are still relaxed very straight. You can tell because it’s pretty thin at the bottom. I feel like my hair is a lot more shiny and thick with texlaxed hair.

If you have any questions about what I do or use let me know!

😘😊

please imagine the foxes having a night off and being happy for once and going to a local fair:

  • kevin and neil get really intense with any games involving aim because any exy practice is better than no exy practice in their minds
  • everyone wants to go on all the rides but neil can tell that andrew is silently freaking out about the height so the two of them end up doing the teacup ride like 10 times until they get kicked off for inappropriate behaviour
  • aaron and katelyn sneak off too but they end up sitting and talking at the edge of the fair because these two just need some Peace and Quiet™
  • allison gets renee the biggest, brightest cotton candy ever because it matches her hair and they end up with purple tongues and fingers
  • nicky stands in front of a funhouse mirror that makes you look really short and whispers “wow I look like a minyard” before booking it and hoping that neither of the twins heard
  • matt tries to win the coolest prizes for dan but she just steps up and wins him the giant teddy bear that he carries around for the rest of the night
  • matt gives neil the smaller prize he won so andrew desperately tries to one up him
  • andrew definitely won’t admit he’s trying though because spending 10 minutes shooting water guns at rubber ducks to win toys for your boyfriend doesn’t really go with the whole “I don’t care” thing
  • whole team bumper cars involve extreme profanity
  • allison claims to have won and when everyone is explaining that bumper cars isn’t a competition she says they’re jut sad they didn’t win
  • renee leads the way into the haunted house and everyone plays it cool but they end up clinging onto one another the entire time
  • kevin and nicky somehow end up in each other’s arms and don’t realise it until the end when they agree to never speak of it again and hope nobody noticed
  • they all noticed and neither of them will ever live it down
  • everybody is grinning and giggling so much that even andrew is showing a hint of a smile

anonymous asked:

If we were dating I'd read up on all of your interests so that when you told me about them I would be able to keep up, I could watch how excited you get and smile and be so happy that I got lucky enough to be with someone as amazing as you. I'd bake you lots of treats, and I'd hug you all the time, and I'd sing to you whenever you couldn't sleep, and I'd ask you to put flowers in my hair and let me make flower crowns for you to wear and I'd draw for you lots, I'd tell you I love you all the time

oh m y gosh ??? oh my GOSH

(anon i don’t know what you’re talkin’ about i would be so happy i got lucky enough to be with someone like you!!!)

I CAN’T QUITE ARTICULATE MY FEELINGS EXCEPT–LOVE

people don't do this enough, so I'm going to do it now . (please read this)

all I see towards the boys now is hate. hate for everything they do and it’s tearing our fandom apart. from people telling Luke to kill himself and people telling calum he isn’t important. it needs to stop. I’m going to go through every boy and say something I love about them.

LUKE: whenever Luke sings a higher note, I’ve noticed how his voice doesn’t really crack but goes really high? I don’t know how to explain it. a song I’ve notice it in is broken home, when he sings “when did you lose your happiness” in the beginning of the word happiness his voice does something beautiful to me and I am in love with it. it’s so beautiful to me. another thing i noticed it in is vapor. I watched a video of vapor live (which if you scroll down on my blog you’ll see it maybe) you can hear it.

CALUM: I love his little eye wrinkles. (crinkles? I don’t know what you guys call them but I call them wrinkles) whenever calum gets happy and starts laughing hard he has little eye wrinkles around his eyes and I think they are beyond beautiful. I feel like sometimes he may feel insecure about them but to me it’s a sign that he is happy in the moment and it’s something I never want to end.

ASHTON: he’s always positive, always has something to say to make you feel better about yourself. he constantly tells us he loves us and that he’s thankful for us. no matter what we’re going through in life he is like a little reminder that it will all be okay. that quality is something I look for in a person and not everyone has it. nowadays everyone is so negative towards everything but he is always bringing the spirits up from what I see.

MICHAEL: Michael is unique to me. some people say he doesn’t have the greatest voice, personally I am in love with his voice, but you can see how passionate he is about what he does. I can see it when he sings certain songs and his voice can’t hit all the notes every time but it doesn’t stop him and he puts his emotions into it.

ALL TOGETHER: we should be more appreciative of them. no matter what they do or say, they’re still our boys that came from a little town in Sydney Australia. they do what they do to help us because they care and love for us. they are my second family. this fandom is my second family. I feel like with all of the girlfriend drama people forget to appreciate what they do for us and let them know we love them. no matter what they do or say I’ll always be here.

let me know what you love about them:)

onecinnamonowl  asked:

#i love this look so much #(but i also love cute7... i am conflicted) -- SAME. SAAAAME. cries I love Cute7 but this concept is so spectacular (especially for Youngjae that hair that HAIR)

To be honest, I’m that person who still gets super excited over A and Just Right and I’m impatiently waiting for the return of a Boyfriend7 concept because they’re basically the absolute cutest… So I was kind of prepared to be a little disappointed when it became obvious that Arrival wasn’t going to be cutesy or soft boyfriend aesthetic, but I decided to hold off on the disappointment when I saw the outdoor photos, AND THEN I SAW YOUNGJAE’S PHOTOS.

I just…… I really am still in love with the whole cute7 look, but how am I supposed to complain about this??? I can’t. It’s impossible. He’s so beautiful and flawless and soft and just…. ahhhhh. His hair. It causes me physical pain. 

All of the boys look so handsome and gorgeous this era and it’s more than a bit overwhelming… but I can’t help thinking that Youngjae’s the one owning it the most! My heart actually can’t handle how beautiful he looks with the styling they’ve given him and his gorgeous blond hair… his whole aesthetic for the era just suits him so well!!! 

… Even if I’m still not ready to forgive his stylist for the Never Ever 1st Stage.

Originally posted by j-miki

anonymous asked:

🦄Hello tanis I'm tired 😴 my family are visiting and so we've been out all over Victoria the last couple days and I just need sleep but I'm dying my hair rn so I can't really do that lol 😂 anyway I hope today was good for you talk about your day I wanna know about it.

I’d be so happy if I could even be in Victoria right now.
And I HATE Victoria.
(Can you tell I’m missing the island? Haha)

Today was pretty good actually, despite me waking up like five minutes before I had to leave and my hip deciding that nah, I don’t wanna let you walk today.

We only had to clean 4 houses, and despite one of them being a house we hate (some people…), we finished fairly early.

And it was raining and then it was sunny and I was loving it.

I didn’t get to run the one errand that I’ve been meaning to do (since like…well, last week….), but I’ll have time tomorrow.

Now I’m just casually chilling on my floor trying to will myself to write haha.


EDIT: AND I GOT TO CUDDLE TOBIAS TODAY!
Tobias is an adorable and cuddly orange kitty at a house we clean for. I love him. He loves me. We’re best friends.

Aaah this is my first time doing this, I was tagged by @ckyun (tysm Nat you are such a sweetheart 💕)

Bold the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller
I wear glasses
I have at least one tattoo
I have at least one piercing
I have blonde hair
I have brown eyes
I have short hair (kinda)
My abs are at least somewhat defined
I have had braces
There is something i would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin
I am an introvert
I like meeting new people
People tell me that I’m funny
Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me
I enjoy physical challenges
I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well
I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it
There is something I would change about my personality

(I bolded everything lmao)


ABILITY:

I can sing well
I can play an instrument
(I play piano and guitar)
I can do over 30 pushups without stopping
I’m a fast runner
I can draw well
I have a good memory
I’m good at doing math in my head
I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute
I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling
I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch
I know how to throw a proper punch (I practice Muay Thai so yeah)


HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports
I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else
I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else
I have learned a new song in the past week
I work out at least once a week
I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months
I have drawn something in the past month
I enjoy writing
Fandoms are my #1 passion
I do or have done martial arts


EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss
I have had alcohol
I have scored the winning goal in a sports game
I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting
I have been at an overnight event
I have been in a taxi
I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year
I have beaten a video game in one day
I have visited another country (I love travelling! I’ve already been to IT, FR, SI, CH, UK (Europe) ARG, CL and BR (South America))
I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts


RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship
I have a celebrity crush
I have a crush on someone I know
I have been in at least 3 relationships
I have never been in a relationship (nobody likes me lmao)
I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them
I get crushes easily
I have had a crush on someone for over a year
I have been in a relationship for at least a year
I have had feelings for a friend


MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”
I live close to my school
My parents are still together
I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States
There is snow right now where I live
I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month
I have a smartphone
I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone


RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced
I know a person named Jamie
I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce
I have dyed my hair
I’m listening to one song on repeat right now
I have punched someone in the past week
I know someone who has gone to jail
I have broken a bone
I have eaten a waffle today
I know what I want to do with my life
I speak at least 2 languages fluently (talk to me in English, Spanish or Italian!)
I have made a new friend in the past year

I’m tagging: @cookieangelwonho @j00h0ney @manyeo0 @94wons @hyungnu and @kittyminhyuk (you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to tho! But it’s nice knowing more about you guys ❤️️)

3

Submitted by phanicathetalia: My 12 year old sister is a huge fan of your art, so she used her iPad to try and recreate your art. I thought I should show you because it’s really cute. Hope you like it!

This is absolutely amazing!! I’m very sorry if this is a late publication – I’ve been pretty absent lately. Please tell your sister that I loved her art, and I hope she keeps drawing!

JOHNNIE GUILBERT FLUFF

Y/N POV
I was in my bunk sleeping with my head on Johnnies chest and our legs all tangled together. Last night Johnnie couldn’t sleep so I let him into my bunk. If I’m honest,I am really happy because I have a huge crush on him.
“Be quiet.” I heard Damon whisper.
“Omg they look so cute.“I heard Alex squeal and take a picture.
"Shut up she’s sleeping."I heard Johnnie mumble.
"Why don’t you ask her out already?” I heard Bryan ask.
“Because she doesn’t like me like that.” Johnnie mumbled as he stroked my hair.
I “woke up” and stared at them and mumbled,“What are you guys talking about?”
“Nothing.” They all said.
I can tell I’m gonna have a good time with this. Now that I know Johnnie has the same feelings about me. I rolled my eyes,untangled mine and Johnnies legs, turned around so I was facing the wall of the bunk,and just laid there while Johnnie got out of my bunk. I grabbed the blanket and cuddled with that and fell asleep for a little bit longer.
~~~~~~~~TIME SKIP~~~~~~~~
I was sleeping when I felt someone try to shake me awake. I shooed the person away and tried to fall back asleep. I guess me shooing them away didn’t work because I felt someone pull the covers off of me and shake me again.
“Fuck off."I mumbled.
"Come on Y/N wake up.” I heard Johnnie mumble in a sweet voice.
I rolled over and looked in his eyes. He stared back at me with a smile on his face. I smiled back at him and next thing I knew Johnnies lips touched mine quickly. In my shock I pulled away and stared at him. He quickly realized what he did and ran off. I just say there trying to comprehend what had just happened. I then quickly got dressed, did my makeup, and went out to search for Johnnie.
~~~~~~~~TIME SKIP~~~~~~~~
I had searched everywhere for Johnnie then I saw him talking to Damon. I could tell that Damon was happy about something but Johnnie was scared. I then ran over there and stopped in front on them.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you Johnnie.” I spoke.
“I’m gonna leave you kids alone.” Damon said while laughing and walking off.
“Why’d you run off?” I questioned.
“What do you mean Y/N?”
“This morning after you kissed me. Why did you run off?”
“Because I was a mistake. I didn’t mean to.”
“Are you sure?” I questioned as I started to become sad.
“Yea like I would ever want to kiss you.” He said while chuckling.
“What do you mean?” I said as I started to tear up.
“I only kiss people that I like. And I could never like you, you’re not my type. And I mean you’re not even pretty so how could I like you?” He said while laughing.
“I don’t know the answer to that. Just like I don’t know how I could be crush on a guy who could never like me,” I said as tears started running down my face.
“Wait what?”
“I like you dude but looks like you could never like me.” I said as I ran off to the bus,into my bunk,and cried.
~~~~~~~~TIME SKIP~~~~~~~~
After an hour of crying I got out of my bunk, fixed my makeup, and walked into the lounge thingy to see everyone in it. I quickly looked down at my phone and sat in the only seat that was empty,which was right across from Johnnie. The guys noticed that I had been crying and asked me about it.
“Y/N, have you been crying?” Kyle asking me in a concerned voice.
“Yea, I was reading a fanfic and it made me cry.”
“Y/N, can I talk to you?” Alex asked as she got up from her seat and started walking outside.
“Sure.” I spoke and followed her.
Once we were outside and away for the bus she stopped and said,“Why were you really crying?”
“Johnnie kissed me this morning.”
“Really? That’s awesome.” She squealed.
“No it’s not. When I talked to him about it he said that he could never like a person like me and that I wasn’t even pretty.” I said as tears started to roll down my face.
“Wait here.”
And before I could even speak she ran off to the bus leaving me here. I sat on the grass,crying. The tears eventually stopped and I pulled out my phone and started playing on it.
JOHNNIES POV
“Why the fuck did you tell Y/N that?” Alex said as she stormed in the bus looking like she was gonna kill me.
“What do you mean?” I spoke in fear.
The guys held her back as she screamed,“WHY DID YOU TELL Y/N THAT YOU COULD NEVER LIKE HER AND THAT SHE WASNT EVEN PRETTY AFTER YOU KISSED HER? SHES CRYING HER EYES OUT!”
“Because..”
“You said that to Y/N? I thought you liked her?” Damon spoke.
“I do like her but I thought she didn’t like me so I told her that. Then…”
“Then what?” Kyle spoke as he came out from the bathroom.
“She told me she like me.”
“She did?” Jordan spoke in confusion.
I nodded and looked down at my lap. After Alex calmed down the guys let go of her. She then walked up to me and looked me in the eyes.
“She’s out there crying I suggest you go talk to her before you lose the girl that loves you more then anyone else.”
I nodded my head and walked out of the bus and searched for her. I eventually found her sitting on the ground playing on her phone. I walked over to her and sat in front of her. She looked up from her phone in shock.
“Where’s Alex?”
“She’s on the bus. Look I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I love you Y/N and I have for a while. I never thought that a girl like you could like me.”
“A girl like me? You mean a girl who’s not even pretty and isn’t your type.”
I flinches at those words and spoke, “No I mean a girl who’s so beautiful and nice. I love you so much Y/N, I couldn’t imagine what would happen if you weren’t in my life. You make me so happy and I hope you can forgive me for being an idiot and saying those things.”
She stood up and said,“I forgive you.”
I looked up at her in excitement and said,“Are you serious?”
She nodded while smiling. I stood up and picked her up. She giggled,wrapped her legs around my waist,and looked into my eyes. Next thing I knew our lips were connected. I then heard cheering from the bus. I flipped them off and smiled. I can honestly say today is one if the best days of my life.
——————————————
So yea this happened. I’m gonna work on the other requests tomorrow or later tonight. But in still taking request on: 5sos, bvb, asking alexandria, the creatures, the sidemen, johnnie guilbert, criminal minds, danisnotonfire, amazingphil and Calfreezy. There is smut,fluff,or regular imagines. BoyxBoy and GirlxGirl is aloud. (Please try to stick to these people cuz if someone requests others then I feel bad if I do not know who they are)

17 March 17 “礼物”

Well there are

There you are

Standing right in front of me

Just out of reach

I can’t get my mind off of you

Your gilded glorious golden hair haunts me like a gaunt ghost

Your beautiful voice still in my head

All the things I could tell you

It’s an endless list

Maybe because it repeats

My world I would give

So desperate for attention

What is it that I wake up for?

If I could take a puff right now I would

If only you could join me

If only I could hold you

The majority of the world is unknown to me

Learning as often as I can

How much am I actually learning?

Am I walking in circles?

What do I really care about?

Am I actually happy?

Does it matter if I miss a day or two?

The light pouring from my curtains

Is it healing me or is it killing me?

Losing mortal hunger

I search to feast on you, darling

Are you listening?

Somewhere out there

Her lost feelings are floating with me out at sea

She travels, immune to the cold wind and freezing water, focused on an objective unknown to me

I don’t travel, I follow the wind and flow with the water

Maybe I could form my own path

Still swimming and flying

Picking up things I shouldn’t read

There are more secrets hidden than I thought

I’m falling ill

It’s a Fever You Can’t Sweat Out

Falling down

Floating to the ground

This sinking feeling deep in the pit of me

She’s playing with me

She’s a cat and I’m a stain on her blouse

The last time we clashed, maybe it was a little too rough

I wouldn’t imagine it’s very fun when it’s just a dead mouse

Pregnant - John Swift blurb

Anonymous said:Can you do a John imagine where your pregnant and you have to tell him and you tell him in a really cute way and he freaks out and he’s all happy and like calls the boys and freaks out to them about it? Thanks love!!!!

-

(making it a blurb, because I wanted this one to be short and super cute, hope you don’t mind love.)

-

“John, baby. I’m pregnant.” I nervously said, fumbling with my fingers not looking directly up at John, because I was scared about how he would take it. He ran his fingers through his hair, and looked at me, then soon I saw a huge smile spread across his face, his eyes lit up, and he walked closer over to me, and, putting his hands gently on top of my stomach.

“This is amazing, y/n. We’re going to parents. You’re going to be a great mom, and I’m going to be a great dad, and we’re going to raise a really beautiful baby, just the two of us god this is amazing. You got me all excited now, baby.” he kept his eyes on my stomach, probably imagining what it would look like in a few months once it started showing, his smile never faded away in fact he just continued to get bigger and bigger each second. His hands fell down to my waist, and he finally looked up at me again, leaning in to give me a small kiss.

“We’re going to be such great parents, y/n. I get to raise a child with the love of my life. This is amazing.”  John let go of my waist, walking away from me, and he took his phone out of his pocket, his smile turning into a excited grin. I didn’t realize how much I was smiling myself until I felt my cheeks began to hurt, but I never stopped. I raised my eyebrows up at him, wondering what he was doing once I saw him pull out his phone.

“You’re going to be such a great dad, John. I can already tell by the way you get along so well with my little cousins, you’re going to be such a good dad. Who are you calling, baby?” I asked, my excitement being heard clearly in my voice, my hands finally coming to rest on the side of my thighs, the nervous feelings I had before now had all disappeared, since John was just as excited as I was about having this baby. It was such a relieving feeling to know that he was so on board with this, I was just worried he would get upset, or not want to be together anymore, and just knowing he’s ready to raise a child made me fall in love with him even more.

“Calling the guys, they’re going to freak out, once they find out I’m going to be a dad.” and after John told them , I could hear all the guys scream from the other end congratulating both us. I looked at how happy John was, and knew this was going to be the start of something beautiful.

50 shades of Kate Beckett

In honor of #6YearsOfCastle, let’s celebrate the 50 shades of Katherine Beckett. If you’re not a Castle fan, you probably can’t handle the sass (and even if you are proceed at your own risk).



Not impressed. At all. But let’s start.

First she was like: “you can’t be serious”.

Here she even looks kind of bored.

Or maybe she is a little bit impressed…

It’s hard to tell sometimes.

Or she’s just - literally - a 5 year old.

Sorry about that (no, not really).

She laughed.

And she cried. A lot.

Of happiness too.

She was kind of afraid, tho.

She was afraid of letting go…

And also of letting people in.

But she was still kind of a dork

Lots of times.

She grew a lot in six years.

And, also, she grew on us.

Oh, and also her hair.



[Sarah]

I get really happy when I see great campaings in the internet. Blackout Day is a great one. Of course racism has to be fighted everyday, but those campaigns make the cause stronger.

We are black, we are awesome. *-*

Being a black fat lesbian is not picnic. So, I’ll use this opportunity to tell you all a little about how discrimination works in Brazil. It’s in a very common in colonized countries: by colorism or pigmentocracy. Why didn’t I tell racism? Well, because in this type of discrimination you can be a african descendant and rarely suffer of racism, but a person with very little blood connection with africans can suffer like hell. And an arabic person can be called a nigga as well. It is all because skin color. The darker you are, the more you suffer. And this is SO DANGEROUS, because lots of black people don’t get aware of this kind of discrimination, because when the person has lighter skin, society says they are white! I already heard ridiculous things like “Someone called me nigga today. I’m not black, I’m just tanned!”. -_-

As you can see, my skin is not very dark, so I didn’t suffer much racism when I was younger, cuz my mom used to make up my mind to straight up my hair. ¬¬ Well I cut that bullshit of my life, MAGICALLY the discrimination when from 8 to 80 SO QUICK that I still get amazed and disguted. Any kind of discrimination is disguting, but colorism is very dangerous. Making very mixed person believe she/he is WHITE is erasing their past, the opportunity to know about their ancestors and makes them weak. Discrimination will come to them one day, but they will not understand why and they won’t be prepared to react if they have the chance.

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I wanted to write a really long post about my experiences as a trans person but tumblr keeps logging me out instead of letting me post it. This is my third try, so I’ll make it short.

I’m Eben, I came out on tumblr as bigender exactly a year ago today. I’ve been slowly coming out to people irl but it’s very rare that people call me anything other than my birthname.

My mother keeps forcing me to wax my upper lip while I really want to let my genes to help me get hairier. I managed to keep my armpit hair as thick as I can. My family is also preventing me from getting my hair cut shorter than my shoulders. Keep in mind, they’re enforcing this about my body even though I’m not out to them or anyone who would tell them. …

 I’m really happy that i could discover new things about myself since I embraced the fact that I’m trans. I’ve learned that my life can be a contradiction, which my bpd and bipolar also taught me. I’ve learned that the less you question about your gender and the more you experiment with it, the happier you will be. 

 Shout out to all my mentally ill trans siblings who are still in the closet, and to those who are out! You can persevere and you can survive! 

 (He/him or she/her pronouns please!)

PS… I showed a cis boy my armpits today and he looked like we was ready to start crying >;3c

anonymous asked:

oq + childhood friends au

Quietly adds this to myThe Possibilities are Endlesscollection because I can. Thank you nonnie, for prompting this to me. Even though I fell in love with the concept and now have the desire to write more for it. Which would be great, if I had the time to do so. So seriously, nonnie. Thank you. Thank you so much.

He thinks about her sometimes. Wonders what she’s doing, whether she ever got out of small town central, whether she thinks about him like he thinks about her. What does she look like now? Does she still wear glasses when she reads? Does she still wear her hair in a ponytail? Is she married yet? Does she have any kids?

He always thought she’d make a great mother. He used to tell her so when they were kids, used to make fun of her for being a mother hen at sixteen. She’d glare, then laugh, then punch him in the shoulder. Not that it ever really hurt, but he pretended it did, because it made her smile, and he loved to make her smile.

Because it was so rare that she did back then.

He hopes she’s happier now.

Even if it’s not with him.

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