my hair is lifeless

The Grayson Dolan Special (G.D)

Summary: You and your friends are going to a 4OU show. You decide to go get your hair done, and you end up getting more then just highlights. ;)

A/N: This is for @cassmoreiraxo. She had a dream about getting her hair done by Mrs. Dolan, so hopefully I did it justice! Hope you like it babe 😘
(Also the prices I used in this are actually real. Mrs. Dolan does charge $120 for a women’s cut… Guys I’m not kidding…)

Word Count: 4290 (I know its a lot. I had no self control I’m sorry!) 

Warnings: Some cursing.

Originally posted by teenvogue

After a whole 3 months of saving up my tip money from work, I was finally here in Morristown, New Jersey, with my friends Angie, Aisha, Miranda, and Maddi. We were all going to see the Dolan Twins tonight at their first show in Freehold, New Jersey. I woke up in our hotel room super excited, because tonight was the night of the show. I heard light snores coming from Maddi who was laying next to me in our shared bed. I looked around the room, and all the girls were still sleeping. I chuckled lightly to myself remembering how we were all up late last night helping Miranda come up with ideas for her imagines, and talking bout how excited we were to meet the boys. I didn’t realize how early it was until I checked my phone. It was only 7 in the morning, and here I am wide awake. I knew there was no point in going back to sleep because I was already up, so I decided to go take a shower. 

 I got out of the shower, grabbed a clean towel off the rack and wrapped up my hair. I dried myself off, and started putting on my clothes. I kept my outfit simple, because I wasn’t going to be dressing up till later tonight for the show. I put on my Adidas sweats, and a plain white crop top. I removed the towel from my hair, and began to blow dry my hair until it was completely dry. I starred at my reflection in the mirror and I was really annoyed with the way my hair was looking. It looked so dry and lifeless. I was clearly in need of a touch up because my roots were starting to grow out. Not to mention my split ends, and faded out highlights. I cursed myself thinking about how I should’ve just did my hair like the girls told me too, back home before we all left for this trip. I didn’t want to go anywhere with my hair looking like this. I do hair for a living, how does that look when a hair dresser can’t even keep up with her own hair? I pulled out my phone, and started googling some hair salons around the area. I’m really picky about who does my hair, since I usually do my own. I scrolled pass a few salons but none of them seem to catch my eye, until my thumb landed on a salon called Bloom. I saw that it had a 5 star rating, so I immediately  clicked on the website. I was scrolling through the website and the pictures of all the hairstyles, and hair cuts looked amazing. I quickly noticed the prices and started to cringe a little bit. A women’s hair cut was about $120, and to touch up my roots where close to $97. In total of everything that I wanted done it would all come out to almost $400! “WHAT THE ACTUAL F….” I started to yelled, but I cut myself off remembering that my friends were still asleep. I popped my head out of the bathroom door to make sure I didn’t wake anyone.

 "What the hell are you doing? It’s like 8:30 in the morning?” Angie asked which startled me a little. She gave me a questioning look. “I think I’m going to go get my hair done. It looks pretty gross. Want to come with me?” I asked hoping that she would, I didn’t wanna go alone especially in a new place I’ve never even been too before. “It’s 8:30 in the morning and you want to go get your hair done? Yeah have fun, I’m going to sleep. Wake us up when you come back.” She said as pulled the covers over her head. “But I-” I tried to speak, but Angie cut me off with her fake snores. I rolled my eyes, and went to grab my Adidas Superstars and quickly slipped them on. I grabbed my purse, my phone charger, the keys to our rental car, and the room key, before leaving the hotel room. I walked down to the lobby, and out into the parking lot to our car that we rented for the weekend. I got in the car, and pulled the address of the salon up on my phone. The salon was only 15 minutes away, so hopefully by the time I get there they’ll already be open. 

* * * *

 I pull up to the salon and I was surprised by how big it looked. The building was painted a nice cool tone gray, with huge windows, making the building look very modern. The open sign was lit up, signaling that they were open. I got out of the car, and started making my way inside the salon. I stepped inside, and my jaw dropped. It was beautiful! The outside was big, but the inside was even bigger! The walls of the lobby area were covered in a rustic yellow paint, making it match the gray wooden furniture. The hair stations had black and gray painted walls, with gold chairs, and a huge vanity mirror at every station. I stood there in awe, taking in everything. I’ve never seen a hair salon so beautiful. “Good morning, can I help you? the receptionist asked, which caught me off guard. “Uh yes.” “I was wondering if I could possibly get my roots touched up, my highlights redone, and maybe a trim?” I asked as I was looking at the pictures of hair models on the wall. “Do you have an appointment?” the receptionist asked looking back down at her appointment book. “No, I actually found you guys online, and decided to stop by because my hair could really use some help.” I said messing up my hair, causing the receptionist to let out a small laugh. 

 The receptionist took down my name, and instructed me to wait in the waiting area. I was waiting for about 10 minutes when a lady who looked like she was in her early 30s, with beautiful blonde hair that stopped a little below her shoulders, walked up to me. “Y/N?” She asked with a smile on her face. “Yes, that’s me!” I answered getting up from my seat. “I’m Rachel, if you would follow me please.” she said as she turned on her heels and walked me towards her work station. I sat down in the chair and she placed the styling cape over my body. “What did you want to do today?” she asked running a comb through my hair. “Well I was thinking of touching up my roots, touching up my highlights, and a little trim.” I said looking at my hairdresser through the mirror. She ran through the prices with me, and my jaw dropped. It was going to be $120 just for the haircut, then $97 for my touch up like the website said, but I didn’t realize how expensive my highlights would be. My highlights were going to be $177, plus the additional $160 for the blow out. “So your total for everything will come out to $554.” She said it so casually like as if it was normal for someone to spend that much on their hair. I stared at her with wide eyes, still trying to comprehend the number she just said to be. I stayed quite for a while, and decided to do it. “Fuck it, you only live once right?” I said causing her to laugh. She started to part my hair into sections, using the clips to clip back the sections of hair she wasn’t working on. 

 An hour in, and she had managed to cute my hair, and finish touching up my roots. Now all that was left, was to do my highlights, and then the blow out, and we were good to go. We had small talks here and there, avoiding any awkward silence between us. Turns out she has been doing hair for 8 years and shes been working here since they opened in 2014. “Doing anything special tonight, since you got this new look?” She asked me as she was wrapping up some strands of my hair in the foil. “Well me and some friends are going to see these boys called the Dolan Twins. They have a show in Freehold tonight. I’m pretty excited!” I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of seeing the boys in person and not in a phone or computer screen. Especially Grayson, I mean of course I loved them both, but it was just something about Grayson that just makes my heart melt. I can see my hairdresser from the mirror looking like she was getting ready to something, but she got interrupted by someone calling her name. She excused herself, and walked towards the back room. I decided to Snapchat the girls, but as expected none of them were up because none of them read my snap. I opened up my Tumblr app and began scrolling through it reading a few imagines that I came across to kill the time. I was deep into my reading, when a voice broke me out of my concentration. 

 "I’ll be taking over for Rachel, she has someone coming in for a haircut in a few. You don’t mind do you sweetie?” the lady asked. “No, not at all. I understand.” I said looking up from my phone and into the mirror. I felt my eyes bulge out of my head, and my mouth hung open. It was Lisa freaking Dolan. As in Grayson Dolan, and Ethan Dolan’s mom! She works here? I asked myself. Trying to find a logical answer for what is happening. “I’m guessing you know who I am?” she asked with a chuckle. I couldn’t find the words to speak, all I did was nod my head, still in shock. “Well welcome to Bloom. This is my salon.” she said with a smile. Now I see where the twins get their smile from. I’m currently sitting in Mrs. Dolan’s salon, and Mrs. Dolan is putting highlight in my hair. What the actual fuck is happening? I took out my phone getting ready to snap something. I flipped it over to the selfie camera, put on the flower crown filter on. I held my phone out in front of me getting a good angle of both me, and Mrs. Dolan. She noticed, and bent down so she could fit in the frame. She flashed a smile, and I quickly took the picture, sending it to the girls. They were gonna flip when they see this! I was on my phone, while Mrs. Dolan was finishing up the last section of my hair. “Rachel the boys are here!” Mrs. Dolan said causing me to look up from my phone. I was looking at myself in the mirror when two familiar figures caught my eye. 

Originally posted by justanothersanctuary

“No way!” I whispered in disbelief. I guess Mrs. Dolan heard me so she gave me a playful wink. I noticed that they were walking over towards my station, so I just went back on my phone trying to act as natural as possible. Trust me on the inside I was freaking out! They look so much taller in person, and not to mention how muscular they were. I’m guessing they just rolled out of bed, and decided to stop by because their hair was all over the place. Grayson was wearing his Adidas sweats, with a white t- shirt that hugged his arms just right. I couldn’t help but notice we were pretty much matching from head to toe. Goals or what? His hair wasn’t the usual slicked up quiff. It was fluffy, and flopping over to the side. He ran his rather large hand through his hair and that was enough to kill me! Ethan was wearing gray Nike shorts, with a black t-shirt and even with no effort he still looked beautiful. The boys both gave their mom a kiss on the cheek, and it took everything in me not to squeal at the cuteness. I saw they boys look at me so I smiled at them. “Boys, this is Y/N. It’s her first time here.” Mrs. Dolan said, introducing me to the boys. Ethan bent down and gave me a side hug since I was sitting me the salon chair making me shorter then what I was already am compared to me. “Hey Y/N, I’m Ethan, and this is my twin brother Grayson.” he said, and Grayson flashed me the most gorgeous smile revealing his pearly white teeth, and the dimples in his cheeks. “I know who you guys are. I’m actually going to see you guys tonight in Freehold with some friends.” I said, trying my hardest not to sound nervous. 

The boys and I talked for a little bit, I was telling them about the girls, and about how because of them that we all met and became friends. They were honestly the sweetest guys! The boys ended up sitting in the station next to me, and Rachel started on Ethan’s haircut. Mrs. Dolan had finish highlighting and washing my hair, now I’m walking over to the drying station to sit under the dryer. As I started to head over to the drying station I heard Ethan say ”I don’t think that’s where her eyes are Gray.” Was Grayson starring at my ass? I could feel myself blush at the thought of Grayson starring at my ass as I’m walking away. 

I sat down under the dryer, and noticed Grayson walking up taking a seat next to me. He doesn’t say anything he just hands me his phone and I see that Snapchat was opened. I pulled out my phone and opened up the app scanning his phone over my snap code. I added him back and gave him back his phone. “See you tonight.” was all he before turning around going back to Rachel’s station to finish his haircut. He started snapping me, and eventually he asked for my number and we started texting. The dryer went off signaling that my hair was done. Not longer after the dryer went off, another stylist by the name of Michelle came over and told me to follow her to her station. I sat down, and she started on my blow out. I was still texting Grayson, and everytime I looked up from my phone and would catch Grayson starring at me in the mirror with a cheeky smile plastered on his face. I couldn’t help but blush. 

I starred at myself in the mirror, super pleased with how my hair turned out. My hair was now a light brown color, with blonde highlights. The hair stylist gave me soft bouncy curls, that cascade down my back stopping a few inches above my butt. “It looks amazing!” I said, thanking the stylist. I made my way over to the receptionist desk to pay, but she just looked at me and shook her head. “It’s already been taken care of! OH! Grayson wanted me to give you these.” she said handing me a purple envelope. I turned my head around to look at Grayson who was sitting in the salon chair getting his haircut. He winked at me and a smile formed on my lips. I said bye to the receptionist as I walked out the salon, and starting walking towards the car. 

“Oh My God!” I partially screamed as I opened the envelope. I was speechless. There were 5 VIP/Meet&Greet passes for tonight’s show. My phone went off, and it was a snapchat notification. From Grayson. He sent me a snap of me walking out of the salon, and the caption read “I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.” with the peach emoji, eyes, and the smirk. I snapped him back before plugging my phone up the aux as I headed back to the hotel. On the way back to the hotel, I stopped by Starbucks, getting some coffee for all the girls. I couldn’t wait to see the girls faces when I tell them everything that went down this morning. 

* * * *

I got out the elevator and headed towards our hotel room. I reached in my back pocket for the room key and opened the door. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” “WAKE UP!” I screamed. How are they possibly still sleeping? I tried throwing pillows, hairbrushes, and even shoes at them trying to get them to wake up. Nothing worked, all they did was groan and pull the covers to over their heads. 

“I met the twins today.” I said, and as if on queue they all darted up 

“You what?”

“You’re joking?”

“Did you dye your hair?” 

Everybody was speaking at once. “Bitch explain!” Maddi said sitting up on the bed. I told the guys about everything that happened, how I ended up finding that salon, and about how Mrs. Dolan ended up doing my hair, about the twins, everything. “You guys should check your snaps next time I send something.” I smirked taking a sip from my Starbucks drink. They watched the snap I sent them with Mrs. Dolan and I, and they all looked at me in disbelief. “Ok, but did you really spend $554 on your hair?” “I mean your hair looks really good, but $554 is a little bit over priced!” Aisha said stroking my hair. “Bitch a bit? That’s my car note!” Angie said taking a bite of her bagel. “That’s the thing though. I kind of didn’t pay….” my voice trailed off looking at the girls who all had a confused expression. “Ok, I’m confused again.” Miranda said. I giggled remembering how Grayson was sweet enough to pay for my hair. He didn’t have to do that, but it was sweet. I was bought back from my thoughts with the girls all yelling at me, asking to tell them what happened. “Well when I was getting ready to pay, the receptionist told me it was already taken care of. Apparently Grayson paid for it an-” I got cut off. “WHAT?” the girls all said in unison. “I regret not going with you. I’m so stupid. Why do I like sleep so much?” Angie said, causing me to laugh. “That’s not all though.” I said walking towards my purse to get the purple envelope. “Y/N I swear to god if you tell me you 2 had sex, I’m gonna kill myself!” Maddi said, her accent causing all of us to break out into a fit of laughter. “She went for a haircut and ended up getting the Grayson Dolan special.” the girls were still laughing at Maddi and her jokes. I didn’t say anything I just pulled out the 5 VIP/Meet&Greet passes and held them up. Tonight was going to be the best night ever.

We needed to leave around 5 in order to make it to the show for 7. It was an hour and 15 minute drive from Morristown, New Jersey to Freehold, New Jersey. So we wanted to make sure we had enough time just in case there was traffic, and plus we were going to need to find parking. Hopefully the line to enter wouldn’t be too long that way we can get a decent spot in the audience.

We were all finishing up getting ready in the hotel room. I helped them with their hair, and we all helped each other with our make up. Angie finished helping me putting on some highlight, so I was in the bathroom getting dressed. I decided to wear my black high waist shorts with a 4OU t-shirt that I made into a crop top. I didn’t need to do anything to my hair, because it still looked good from this morning. So I decided to wear the infamous pink “But I’m A Savage” hat, that I happen to be obsessed with! I put on my black hi-top Vans and looked in the mirror. I was pleased with how my outfit looked and how I looked in it. The shorts hugged my curves in all the right places. Especially in the booty area. I walked out the bathroom, and everybody looked stunning. We weren’t over dressed. We kept it simple and casual, but still very cute.

* * * *

We pulled up to the venue, and it was 6:20pm. We probably would’ve gotten here sooner but Angie insisted she knew a short cut. It didn’t take us that long to find a parking spot, I guess since most of the fans were younger they didn’t really know how to drive yet so their parents dropped them off. We parked, and started walking over to the enterance. “Great! Look how long the line is!” I huffed. After 15 minutes of standing in line, we were finally inside. The guy at the door checked out tickets, and started speaking into his walkie talkie. We looked at each other confused, when he began to say our names to the person on the other end. After a couple seconds, some guy Maddi had recongized as the twins security guard approached us. He greeted us, and told us to follow him. We heard comments coming from the other girls but we honestly didn’t care.

We ended up somewhere backstage, and the security guard told us that we would be watching the show from here. We were all standing on the side of the stage, talking, and waiting for the show to start. 

Originally posted by hellnophan

The lights went dim, and the video for their intro came on, and the crowd went crazy! We watched the show, our stomachs hurting from laughter. They were finishing up their Q&A and starting to wrap up the show. I starred at the boys in awe. I couldn’t believe I was here. This was unbelievable, I got my hair done in Mrs. Dolan salon. I got to meet the twins, Grayson Dolan asked for my Snapchat, and now I’m here, backstage watching the show with the 4 most amazing friends ever! This day couldn’t have gone any better. I was pulled out of my thoughts from one of the girls shaking my shoulders. It was Aisha. They were all telling me to go. Go? Go where? "What?” I asked confused. But then I heard my name being called. It was Grayson. I starred at him confused, not understanding what he was trying to do. Grayson walked towards me, and held my hand pulling me out onto the stage with him. “Guys this is Y/N. I met her today, and she’s honestly super amazing. She was at our mom’s hair salon getting her hair done, and we exchanged snaps, and I gave her my number and we sort of just clicked.” I was in complete shock at what was happening. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t ran off the stage yet. “Earlier in the show, I was dared to do something totally crazy, and something I’ve done before.” “Well I’ve never really asked anybody out on stage before so….” He paused for a moment, licked his lips. “Y/N do you wanna go get pizza with me after the show?” The crowd started cheering, and a bunch of “awws” were coming from the side of the stage. “Yes, I would love too!” I said. I was probably as red as a tomato right now. Grayson pulled me into a hug, and I felt his right hand cuff my butt, causing me to bite my bottom lip. The girls started wolf whistling from the side, causing me to hide my face into Grayson’s chest. “And if you guys want hair like Y/N come to Bloom, and hit up our mom!” I twirled and flipped my hair, playfully curtsying at the girls in the audience before I walked off the stage and back to my group of friends.

“WE LOVE YOU! PEACE!” the boys yelled before running backstage. We waited for the boys in their dressing room. We were talking about the show, and how it was the best experience we had, and how happy we were to have experienced it together. After about 30 mins, the boys showed up. “You ready Y/N?” Grayson said when he walked into the room. “Of course she’s ready.” Angie said, making everyone in the room including Ethan and Grayson laugh. I told the girls bye, and that I’ll see them later before I started heading out the door with Grayson. 

“You kids behave!” Miranda shouted. I flicked them off, and closed the door behind me. Grayson held my hand in his, as we made our way out the venue, and into his truck, heading out for our date.

Grey

The sky is a dark grey, causing shadows even in the lightest of places. It’s not necessarily because there’s bad weather; it’s always this way. It’s almost like the sun is no longer existing, like it gradually decided that this sad excuse of a planet wasn’t worth it’s time.

People walk at a reasonable pace, all wearing black suits or black dresses. They style their hair in a certain way in the morning, not because it’s how they like, but because they know they’re not going to get any respect if they show up to work looking like they’d got out bed five minutes ago. Each face is empty, almost lifeless.

I’m the same, of course. My hair is forced out of my face every morning, shining due to the gel. I rise out of bed every morning and take the time to make sure I’m looking presentable; ensuring my suit is ironed and my shoes are shining. I eat cereal - the same one added to the breakfast table in every house all over the world each morning - full of fibre with no exciting taste. I don’t like it or hate it.

The long drone of the alarm buzzes through the building, and I don’t hesitate to the lean over and reach into the top drawer of my desk. I keep nothing in there besides papers compulsory for me to do my job. I grab the small gun that sits in the middle and feel the roughness of the plastic underneath my fingers. (The government had to create billions, do you really think they’d use anything that’d cost them more money?) I already know there’s four doses ready to be used because I made sure to reload this morning.

All around me, men and women are doing the same as I. As though it’s recited, we all raise the gun to our necks and pull the trigger, still sat behind our desks. The skin surrounding the end of the gun is opened and allows the blue liquid to seep into our system. To describe how it feels would be impossible; the whole purpose of the dose is to take away any feelings or any emotion that threaten to surface.

The room falls silent when the alarm stops ringing and everyone has shut the drawer of their desk. I sit up straight, feeling refreshed. Just as before, there’s the constant sound of typing and clicking from each desk around me.

“Bieber,” I hear the rough voice that I’m aware belongs to my boss as he comes striding along from behind me, I can hear his shoes meeting the floor as he walks purposefully. “Have you taken your dose?”

“Of course, sir,” I reply and stare ahead. There’s no movement in my face - my nose doesn’t twitch, my lip doesn’t threaten to curl up into a smile - while my boss’ hands press against my desk.

“There’s a woman just been brought in, mind doing the honours?” he asks and when I’ve had enough of his stare burning holes into my face, I shift my gaze from the multiple backs of heads in front of me to look at him.

His hair, just like mine, is swept back and kept in place with gel, although his hair is a lot darker than my own, apart from the grey strands beginning to show. He has a crooked nose that gives me the feeling he’s going to poke my eye out with it if he gets any closer. He’s showing his age with the crow’s feet and wrinkles that are starting to layer over his skin, and not to mention his ashen skin that makes me wonder whether he’s ill or simply tired.

“Of course, sir,” I nod before rising from my desk. “What’s she here for?”

I’m walking by his side now - I’m only just taller than him - and we must look almost identical, I think.

“What do you think?” He doesn’t give me time to compose an answer. “Sense Offence.”

I don’t say anything in response but carry on walking, knowing the exact moment my boss will turn off onto a different route as he aims for his office. When he does, he takes the awkwardness from the conversation with him and I feel as though I’m able to breathe again.

There’s a door at the end of the hallway. It’s grey paint glitters under the blazing lights. As I’m marching towards it, it opens and one of the other men appears dressed in the same suit as me. He catches sight of me and does a subtle head nod in my direction, I return it before swiftly sliding into the room and closing the door.

Sat at the table, a woman sits staring at the wall opposite, as though interested by it. She doesn’t acknowledge me, even when I make my way around the table so her eyes are piercing through my stomach.

“Hi. What’s your name?”

She doesn’t show a sign of wanting to talk to me, or wanting to be here, and I don’t expect an answer from her and I know I’m right not to when she continues to keep her lips in a straight line. My hands press flat against the table so I can see the veins on the back of my hand rising through my skin; they look like tiny rivers.

“I’m Justin Bieber,” I say and she - finally - looks me in the face, although she looks less than pleased, “but you don’t care about that,” I mutter and grab a chair that’s been pressed up against the wall and sit in front of her. “Do you know why you’re here?”

She takes a few seconds, but I watch her lips part and she takes a deep breath. She’s starting to tremble slightly. “Because I want to live like a real human being?” She looks like she might start crying.

“To live like a real human being is to abide by the law and take your doses, and we both know you haven’t being doing so. Why?”

“What keeps you going?” she asks, taking me by surprise.

“What?”

“What makes you get out of bed in the morning? What’s your reason for living? What’s your purpose?”

I frown at her, watching her eyebrows furrow while waterfalls are building in her eyes, threatening to burst and flood her cheeks.

“To serve, to make sure offenders like you are incinerated the second you leave this room.”

“Are you happy?”

I shrug. “I’m merely doing my job; I neither love nor hate it.”

Her facial expression shows sympathy, although I’m unsure as to why. Her body shakes, causing strands of her hair to twist and turn.

“Feeling is beautiful. It’s what makes us human and what keeps us alive, and yet, it’s being taken from us completely. Why?”

It’s starting to feel as though I’m the one being interrogated. “Emotion is forbidden and you know it. Emotion is dangerous. These doses are what’s keeping this race existing, if you have some kind of problem with that, you should take it up with the government, although I highly doubt you’re going to make it as far as the double doors of this building. Now, answer my question; why aren’t you taking your doses?”

As though something snaps - a vein or a muscle - behind the surface of her skin, the tears finally spill over, gliding down her eyelashes before splashing against the woman’s cheeks. I notice her try to blink them away.

“I can’t live like that anymore; not feeling anything, it’s driving me insane. I refuse,” she gulps.

“Very well, but you know what happens to anyone who’s been found to be feeling and/or not taking their dose-“

“Do it. I don’t care.”

She’s shaking vigorously now and she looks as though she’s shivering. Her cheeks are a faded pink, and the victim of multiple sets of tears; all hot and salty and leaving a subtle shine to her skin. I watch her blankly. Neither of us speaks for a moment.

There’s a fan doing circles above us and it’s creating a humming sound all around the room, meaning we’re never in complete silence. I inspect her face and see hurt and pain, my head tilts to the right ever so slightly.

“Do you not ever wonder what you’re here for, what’s outside your life within these walls?” Her voice is calm, which I find unusual. I notice she’s slumped back in her seat now, her fingers locked around her stomach.

“I have a family; a wife and a kid. That’s my life.”

“How? How can you possibly take a woman’s hand in marriage when you don’t love her? How can you be intimate with her, and conceive a child when you know you’re not going to love the heart and soul of that child? You feel nothing for those people who you share a life with, do you really know them at all?”

I frown.

“Have you never wanted to be able to touch someone’s hand and feel their warmth? What about music and art and poetry- oh wait, I forgot, you’re the one who makes the effort to go around and burn those kinda things, aren’t you?” she spits, and an angry expression takes over her face. “Emotion is everything. Emotion keeps me going, keeps us going. Love is pure, but so is hate. Fuck you.”

Her face is round and glows under the blazing light; I’m sure if I could feel a single thing I would feel something for the woman sat before me.

I wait until I’ve risen from my seat to speak again. Her gaze follows me tiredly. I straighten out my suit before clasping my hands behind my back.

“You’ll stay here until someone comes and collects you. I imagine they won’t take you for incineration today, and if not, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you sometime in the near future.”

Even as I’m walking towards the door - the fan still humming above me - I can feel the woman’s gaze on the back of head and I’m more than aware it’s full of hate and despise for me, maybe even a hint of disgust.

Shadows and Roses

Prompt: “Snowbaz Greek God AU with Simon as Persephone and Baz as Hades”

(In case people are confused, I didn’t actually call them Hades and Persephone, but that’s who they are. Pitch is Baz and Snow is obviously Simon. Also, I followed the original storyline of Persephone finding the underworld and not getting kidnapped.)

ENJOY!


PITCH

The smell of roses invaded my senses, in this shadowy place without flowers.

I turned my head, expecting to find the soul of a little flower girl, clinging to her last grip on the living world.

Instead, I spotted a beautiful boy with hair like sun and eyes like the sky, standing here in this place he did not belong. Dressed in red and pink, he was a god with skin kissed by Midas and freckles falling on his face like dots of night.

He was beautiful.

I wanted to ask him what he was doing here, alive where he was supposed to be dead. For this was not a wraith, this boy was alive.

And I hated it.

“Why are you here?” I asked. My voice was rough. I pulled the shadows tighter around myself until there was no way he could tell where they ended and I began.

My voice slid through the inky darkness of the underworld, one with this place of constant gloaming, but his voice. His voice rang out in the never-ending cavern, startling the souls and making me jump.

He demanded, “Where am I?”

I didn’t answer him. I just gestured around me, to the floating wraiths and the black, jagged walls. To the inky black river that lead souls from his world to mine.

I sneered. “Where do you think you are?”

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I changed what you loved

I woke up and decided to chop off a majority of my hair. The lifeless pieces of misshaped curls laid on top of the sink.
I wanted a change, a beginning from the ending.

I wanted this to be a new chapter in my life,
where I had control of something that no one could take away from me.
I wanted to leave behind everything he loved about me; I wanted every memory to fade away just like he did.
I wanted to look for the missing piece of me I lost since the moment he left.
It’s been far from over and I’m trying to be okay with that.
One morning, you decide this isn’t what you want anymore,
this isn’t what you want to feel anymore.
You’re tired of the long nights, the broken promises, and the memories hiding in every corner of your mind, following and haunting you with every breath you take,
Though I’m still trying to breathe,
I’m holding on to the idea that life knows what it’s doing.

    — Topaz P.

August 8th, 2017; 4:07am

Never Ending Ride Joker x SideKick!Reader

Warnings: Abusive behavior (that’s what you get for dating the Joker), Swearing, Hitting, Unhealthy relationship (not surprising is it?)

Summary: Reader is in a relationship with Joker, like in Harley’s place, and there has been awhile since she (can actually be a male!reader or gender neutral as well since there is no mentions of sex) has seen him after a gig that went wrong. Will he come back for revenge or to company his love with good intentions? 

The joker also goes with the (h/c) of choice cause I really didn’t want to make this to be based on one specific joker. It could be Jerome, or Suicide Squad Jared Leto’s joker or from the animated series or movies. Your choice. I hope you enjoy this and tell me if you’d like more fics with harley kind of reader (I already have one request of reader having Harley based history and story in general of being Joker’s therapist in Arkham so there’s that) ENJOY 


I had never been feeling this bored in my whole life. Just sitting in my apartment, staring at the walls and the ceiling, switching positions, walking from a furniture to the other. Laying on my bed, sitting on my couch and sometimes lying on the floor. Occasionally sighing out loud due the torturing dullness.
   I played with my (h/c) silky (h/l) hair my eyes lifeless and my mind occupied.  
   Once again I started questioning my own decisions. It wasn’t like I regretted any of them, I guess, it was just that if I had chosen other vice I wouldn’t be here and alone. But would I be here at all. Not here here, but here. In the world, alive.
   So much had been going on just a couple of weeks ago, but after that. Nothing. I haven’t even heard of anyone who was part of the operation back then. Not them and most importantly, not him.


   Just breaking in to the old chemistry lab, no biggie. It was nice and almost nostalgic if you think about it. Even if it had only been two years since the last time we were there stealing some chemicals and messing with the security guards it was still some what treasured memory.
   But not everything went as smoothly as we planned, no, everything turned to shit the moment the lights turned on. So they did have motion sensors on the lights, who would have guessed? And if that wasn’t enough it also alerted reinforcement of guards. We had taken down the couple that were patrolling at the factory but the new group was more than we could handle and not just that, of course Batman had to come too.
   After running around the mill for about an hour, collecting everything in need and what we could carry the flying rat found us. We had been lucky with the guards, I mean me and him, others had just disappeared or probably arrested but of course our luck ran out at that second when the man dressed in black leather and a cape arrived. Taking my mallet with out even thinking I charged at the bat and swing the heavy weapon at him, but swiftly he dodged and the mallet hit couple of boxes, trashing the wood in splinters and getting stuck. I tried pulling the thing off, trying to swing it over my shoulder but it was stuck in place and I had to move fast if I didn’t want to end up in jail.
   I turned and dodged, knowing Batman was going to hit me down and managing to get some space in between us. I also looked a little around myself. That bastard! Of course he fled. Leaving me to deal with Batman again, alone! Ugh. Like every other time. He leaves, I end up in jail, break out, he collects me from god knows where after I’ve made myself in the headlines how much I had tormented cities and stole money and then end up in this position again.
   ”Not this time!” I growl madly, my eyes glistening in the dim light and taking a hold of the mallet, with rage I pull the the fucking thing up, swing it across the air and hit Bats in the head. He doesn’t lose his consciousness though, but he does wobble the few next steps. My time to shine. I don’t have time to kill the guy, but I do knock him off his feet, hopefully making some critical damage to his feet, and taking my exit.
   I’m in the second floor of the building and it’s not one of those two to three meters high floors, no, this is a chemistry lab. An old factory. It’s high enough for me to die if I jump. Oh well, time to call for my reinforcement.
   I take the phone I had in my back pocket and go through the names humming nervously and gazing over my shoulder every second. I then notice my phone’s screen go black and in a blink of an eye there reads PUDDIN in big bold letters with buttons for answer and decline. I of course answer the call and in no time, before getting even a chance of answering he starts yelling in the phone.
   ”Where are you?” His raging. His completely losing it and I can feel my heart beat speeding. ”You better be with the Batman keeping him off my tail!”
   My reply has no confidence on it, I stutter and smile nervously at my end of the line. ”I was just going to call us a ride.”
   ”What?” He snaps and I flinch at the sharpness of his tone. ”You better turn back and find the bat, keep him busy. I’ll get the ride and you better find him fast because I will kill you with my bare hands if he finds me first!” Then the line goes silent. I feel despair filling my body. I take a deep breath and turn my back to the open sky, staring at the door where I came from to the roof.
   The wind starts blowing fast, my hair moving with it and I hear a loud noise from behind me. I turn around, scared it’s Batman with his plane thing, but see a helicopter. It has to be our ride. No. It’s his ride. I’m not supposed to be here, I’m supposed to be left behind to keep Bats busy. The pilot’s buddy hangs half out of the copter, calling for me.
   ”You guys needed a lift?” He yells over the noise.
   ”Yeah, but he’s still inside!” I yell back. Then I hear a police car, I head to the rail of the roof and gaze over. Shit, there’s Gordon. Things are going way too fast forward. The game’s almost over. I feel my insides making turn in my stomach. This will not end well.
   ”We can’t stay here and wait for him!” The guy yells at me. ”I’m not going to take a risk of ending up in jail. We gotta go now!” He then straightens his arm, extending it towards me. ”Come on!” I’m scared. I’ve disobeyed his commands many times this night already and from here there might not be chances of going back.
   ”He’ll kill us!” I yell over the noise, it’s almost deafening.
   ”He’ll kill us if we let something happen to you!” He shouts. ”Jump! Now!” He’s command hits a nerve. I feel a rush going trough me. It’s maybe the harshness of his voice or the loud noise, but I throw the mallet behind me, charge at the copter and take a hold of the man’s hand. With that we leave. And after that night I never heard of them.


   I keep staring at the ceiling. I’m lying on the floor, on my back in front of my sofa. With lazy eyes, wondering thoughts I sit up. I start to stare at the wall. What if I had stayed? What if I had went to look for Batman? Would I have found him? Would I have ended up in Arkham again? Or would’ve I ran into Joker and got my head blown off? What if he got arrested? Almost hoping it would be true I play with the thought. He’d be locked up for awhile, but soon enough breaking out. He always does. He’d come for me and kill me. But if he didn’t get caught, where was he? Or was…
   I jump up from the floor. He couldn’t be dead, right? That would be all over the news, wouldn’t it? I… What would I…
   I grip the sides of my head, going through the thought of loss and emptiness, panicking like mad.
   What do I do? It’s my fault! If I would’ve stayed-!
   My thoughts and panic are interrupted. There is a loud knock on the door. I turn my head to the direction of the source of the sound but do not move. Should I go see who it is? Or just stay here, and wait for them to go away? But to my surprise the next sound is not something that I expected. There is a key now, on the lock of my door, turning in and giving slowly and agonizingly access to the person to my apartment. I grab my mallet, a wooden one, next to the doorway of the kitchen and swing it over my shoulder, getting ready for a fight.
   ”Honey, I’m home!” The voice is happy and high pitched, it sends a spark go through my brain, instantly I let the mallet fall on the floor and cry happily ”Puddin?” Tears are forming in the corners of my eyes and I charged at the man at the door way.
   Before I had even taken a hold of the thought of losing the psycho, he appears at my door, with a smile on his face like nothing had happened. Overjoyed I was. Of course. Not seeing him for too long I missed him more than I like to admit, but he probably knows it. Every memory of the night we were separated slip from my head and all I want is to hug him and kiss him!
   He smiles wickedly, he doesn’t look any different. He hasn’t any cuts or bruises on his face or any marks of a fight. I start to rethink what had happened. Probably nothing. He just got away, took his time and headed home. Home. To me.
   His (h/c) hair was messy, slightly pulled back and his pale skin glistening of sweat. Had he been doing something before he got here? His clothes were a bit wet, the weather in Gotham had never been that good and rain wasn’t something that surprised the citizens. It had been clouded for weeks now and raining from day to day with out breaks.
   He shuts the door behind him with an aggressively loud bang and turns to scowl at me and then I notice I have acted to hastily.
   I’m right in front of him, only couple inches in between us and he swings the back of his right hand across my face. I fall on my ass with a loud thud and end up rubbing my now red, hurting cheek. The tears in my eyes now staining my cheeks.
   ”You stupid bitch!” He snaps and readies his hand for another hit. He slams my other cheek, making me fall on the floor, on my side. Then he walked over me, positions himself on his knees and takes his hands on my neck, putting pressure on his fingers he squeezes my windpipe until I can’t do nothing else than gasp for air.
   ”You couldn’t follow my simple orders but left me handle all those idiots all alone and if it wasn’t enough you also stole my ride!” He put more pressure on my neck, I moved my hands on the floor, trying to grab something. ”It didn’t take me long to find those brutes though, but don’t worry, you’ll see them soon enough!” He laughs maniacally, the sound so familiar to me that it feels like it hasn’t really been that long since the last time I heard it.
   Then I feel something on the end of my fingers. There’s a baseball bat under my bed and I grab it and aim to the clowns head. He yelps and falls off of me, some hair falling over his face, I jump up, a little dizzy and take my time to breath evenly again, still holding onto the bat.
   ”Why you little…” He growls as he stands up, pulling the loose strands of hair back from clouding his vision, glaring me. There is a long space between us and with the bat in hand I keep it that way, or intend to.
   ”I waited for you!” I snapped and swing the bat at his direction, he of course dodges it easily and I take a step closer, heading for a good target and space. ”I told them to wait!” With another swing I hit his right shoulder. ”But it was too late!” I snap and lift the bat over my head and swing it at his head, but he slips right past me, and behind my back he goes. I hit the floor with the bat, hear a loud bang and lift it up again. I turn to face him.
   ”Oh so it is my fault the gig got ruined?” He holds his hand over his chest like he is offended. A glint in my eyes I react to his words.
   ”Yes!” I groan. ”You left me with the Bat, again! You always do that you asshole!” And I let the bat fly through the air this time hitting the wall. Why can’t he stay put! ”And I’ve had it with how things go! I help you out, I get caught, I break out on my own and then you show up when you see me useful again!” I pull the bat over my head again, readying myself when the Joker pulls a gun from his pocket and pulls the trigger, firing and blasting the bat in bits.
I throw the holder of the remains of my weapon over my shoulder and head for my mallet but before I get even close to the thing, Joker snatches me and pulls me close to him. Before I can do or say anything he smashes his lips against mine.
   The kiss is forceful, but passionate. Even if I tried I couldn’t get myself free from his hold. A part of me wants to try though and another part, well, the most of me missed this.
   I let my body relax, leaning against him and feeling his arms wrap around my waist, trapping me in place. It’s not intimidating. No, not anymore and I can feel myself fully enjoying the embrace, taking a hold of the back of his jacket with my other hand and the other burying my fingers in his hair and pulling him closer to me, even though there was no space between us.
   It takes us minutes to get ourselves pause our make out session and with a dizzy feeling in my head, a stupid grin on my face I stare at his eyes as he pulls away from me, only just a little, not letting me go of his arms, but so we can breathe.
   ”I’m sorry honey that our little date got ruined back then.” He smiled at me, his fingers playing with my hair. ”But next time do as daddy says, alright?” His comment wakes me up from the venomous effect of the kiss and I frown.
   ”But I would’ve ended up in Arkham.” I say softly, pouting like a kid but keeping my voice down, not wanting to anger him again. The situation had died down and ended nice enough and I didn’t want to push my luck. ”Again.” I added quietly.
   Joker only grinned at me and caressed my cheek gently. ”You would’ve gotten out in no time.” He said, but knew that wouldn’t calm me down so he continued. ”There is nothing that will keep us apart and you know it. Otherwice I wouldn’t be here now, now would I?”
   I laughed and nuzzled close to him, my head on the crook of his neck while his arm was around my waist loosely. ”Now, it’s been long since we had fun, hasn’t it?” He hinted, which made me giggle. ”Why won’t we relax and have fun just the two of us for the next couple of days, huh?” The thought made my body tingle, there was nothing I wanted or treasured more than alone time with my Joker.

2

Did you know that baking soda is an incredibly easy way to clean your hair? Yep, the rumors are true. What shocked me even more than the fact that this actually works is how much better my hair began to look when I started using baking soda compared to traditional shampoo!

I’m a complete DIY gal when it comes to my beauty routine and I’m always on a mission to reduce my exposure to potentially harmful chemicals, so I was psyched that this method gave me such great results. You might be wondering: what’s so bad about regular shampoos? Well, they can contain a lot of harmful ingredients. Some of the worst chemical-offenders are: 
  • sodium Sodium Lauryl
  • Laureth Sulfate
  • DEA/Diethanolamine
  • Parabens 
  • Fragrance
The word fragrance might not sound so bad, but on a label, it can mean the presence of over 4,000 separate chemical ingredients. How scary is that?! There are lots of great natural brands of shampoo that don’t contain these ingredients, but as my short hair began to grow, it became really limp and flat due to the rainy weather here in Seattle. I tried to fix this with mousse and styling products, which then caused build-up.  To fix that, I started incorporating a clarifying shampoo every few weeks, but this dried out my hair, so I added in an intensive conditioner, which only made the lifeless hair problem worse. Plus, with the cold, my hair was getting really static-y.  Ugh. I was ready to chop it all off and go back to short hair when I found my way to the baking soda and vinegar hair care method which solved all my problems.  My hair now has more body, volume, and strength than it did with all the crazy shampooing, products, and special hair care nonsense from before. And now my routine is incredibly simple: wash with baking soda, rinse with vinegar, blow dry, and maybe flat iron the front strands if I feel like it.  That’s it. Since shampoos strip our scalps of natural oils, this tend to increase oil production so as you stop using shampoo you might find that you hair seems oiler than normal for the first few weeks until your scalp adjusts. Now that I’ve been using this method for awhile, I’ve found that my hair doesn’t get as oily as it did before and I only have to use this method every 2 - 3 days.   The baking soda and vinegar method is cheap, effective, simple and chemical-free and I think you’ll love it as much as I do. Here’s how you can get started: Method It might be hard to adjust to the lack of shampoo foaming action at first, but I promise this is worth it in the end.  Baking Soda Start by mixing 1 part baking soda with 3 parts water. I have shoulder length hair and mix about 2 to 3 tablespoon of baking soda with 3 times that amount of water in a small squeeze bottle. You can adjust this depending on your hair length.    Apply the baking soda and water mixture to dry or wet hair by starting at the roots and working to the ends.   Let it sit for 1 - 3 minutes then rinse with warm water.  After washing and rinsing with the baking soda mixture, you’ll want to apply a vinegar rinse.  Vinegar Rinse Mix 1 part white or apple cider vinegar with 4 parts water. To minimize the vinegar smell, I also add lavender, peppermint, and/or rosemary essential oils to the vinegar mixture. I like to mix a big batch of this ahead of time and keep it in a squeeze bottle in the shower.    Tilt your head back, close your eyes (to avoid getting this mixture in your eyes), and distribute through your hair.  If you have longer hair like I do, I like to then (still keeping my eyes closed) tilt my head forward and distribute more rinse through the ends. After a few seconds, rinse with cold water. The cold water helps to seal in moisture, smooth the hair, and add shine. I have straight hair and have noticed that this really made a difference with eliminating frizz and static.    Have you tried the baking soda and vinegar method? Any tips that have worked well for you?

If everybody are still discussing Yukari’s orientation, it means, that K is still alive, so I will share my little thoughts. Too bad, that they are not about Yukari. Today I wanna talk about Nagare and Mikoto.

Long time ago, Mikoto was one of my fav character. After watching S1, I started to search more info about K world and the first things I read, were Memory of Red and Side Red. So, the old Homra with Mikoto and Totsuka became my favorite clan. But now, my King is Nagare and my beloved clan is Jungle. And, you know, I love Nagare much more, than I ever liked Mikoto.

That’s why there’s a thing, that I really can’t understand. Why series treats Mikoto like a super hero and in the same time continues to repeat, that Nagare is just a dead corpse?

This dissonance really, really bothers me. The difference between their positioning became clear even in K ROK: look at strong flashbacks with Mikoto (our dead hero earned some airtime even in the 13th ep) and characters’ feels about him. Look, how his death affected lots of people. And now… Nagare. Was called «nothing, but a corpse» several times, stared at the Slate, fell and died. Everybody celebrates, happy ending.

And it’s just the beginning. The more franchise gives us, the more I get confused.

For example, the last chapter of Dream of Green. Yes-yes, that scene with naked Nagare. Was it really necessary, if we have only 5 eps? Was it really necessary in THE LAST CHAPTER, that should had given us FEEELS? I can’t imagine any other reason, except money (maybe naked Kings increase sells on 300%). But for me… it’s all like @kotowari-and-ayamachi said: «That’s how I’ll remember you, when you’re gone: Suoh Mikoto – the Indomitable Lion. Hisui Nagare – the King of No Pants. No honor, no respect». (с)

Or the short story from BD vol.6. I liked it in general, but Fushimi’s POV, when he thought, that Nagare looks like a corpse and lifeless doll, made my hair move again. What’s up, Pink? Fushimi isn’t stupid enough to accept, that corpses can eat, can think and create one of the most popular social networks in a country. Moreover, he lived with Jungle for a while and could see things, that no one from table alliance had seen. They are family – you told it yourself. Do you want to ruin the family and kill all of them?

Gora, please. Can you reach an agreement and arrive at a common in grand questions, like this? Or you simply hide your plot holes and poor characterization with «ow, all other people thought, that he’s just a crazy corpse, that wants to ruin the world, so it’s ok to kill him without thinking and without trying to understand and any other bothers». I think, lot’s of characters could be deeper, than that. And Shiro and Anna are first in this list.

But you know, what’s even more sad? That Mikoto, our dear hero, indomitable lion, have sooo many respect and love from the series, that it makes me wanna laugh.

If you think about it, Mikoto is absolutely egoistic and lazy man, that has great powers, but prefers to lie on a sofa, doesn’t work, lives on mama Kusanagi’s money and yet can’t keep his own fire in control (he managed to live without Totsuka a whole week, applause!). What’s more important, he put thousands of innocent children in a deadly danger (let’s think about their parents as well), deeply hurt his close friends (Kusanagi and Anna), fucked his clan (zero responsibility) and ruined the state of Munakata (no comment).

Ok, Nagare isn’t a God dandelion too and has his own flaws. But! He did for the world much more, than Mikoto (I already mentioned it, but Jungle is one of the most popular social networks in the country, that became part of the daily life). Nagare is hardworking (do you remember, how he apologized to Iwa-san, when overslept a little?). And the main thing: he plays not only for himself, but for all the people. For something great and wonderful.

You can say, that Mikoto had a hard time with his powers. But it can’t be compared with all, that Nagare experienced, all, that he lost, and all, that he beared all these 14-15 years. But if Mikoto chose the sofa, Nagare continued to live, to create something you, to fight and change the world, even if most of his life went on a wheelchair. He’s a very, very strong character and one of the best role model in the series.

That’s why there’s a thing, that I really can’t understand. Why? Gora, WHY. This is not fair. Is it because you are so fond of your friendship and bonds lines, so putting the world and people in danger, hurting your close ones and killing yourself for a revenge is much more cooler, than continue to live, change the world and make something great? Or it’s just because you loved your own characters much more in 2012-2013 years?

As usual, sorry for my English.

Sick Day - Ashton Irwin Imagine - Requested

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I wasn’t sick when I went to sleep. I didn’t think I was sick at least. I wasn’t aware I was sick. I was just going to sleep with Ashton. I was fine. But I woke up and something wasn’t right.

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Key of Black

i have no heart but i must scream

i have no mind but i must once again learn how to dream

 *

black crows surround me evermore

black cockroaches abound about my floor

surely this is fantasy

but my steps go crunch when I answer the knock

of the orphan at my door

 *

eyes of deep circles

hair a muss

drooping head

and lifeless limbs.

it is me,

the orphan

of my hopes

 *

i have no eyes but i must weep

as hard as i try, i cannot sleep

 *

black dogs snarl at this empty shell

black cats hiss and abhor my smell

surely this is madness

but animals sense this wretched corpse

and leave me where i fell

 *

the jagged knife will not come out

the emptiness will not abate

my eyeless sockets rain a never-ending

torrent of my tears

 *

my love has left her taste upon my lips (so cruel to be reminded)

my love has left desolation in my bed (so cruel to leave my spirit blinded)

my love has been ripped mercilessly from my breast (hollow desolation left behind)

my love has left me shivering and alone (fear and loathing fills my mind)

 *

i have no heart but i must scream

i have no love and so i wither

and so i surely die

Derek Hale Imagine

Derek was the kind of man that every girl day dreamed about. His dark black hair, soft as ravens feathers. His tight mouth that was always in a tight line, when others were around. but when it was just Derek and I, he was smiling and showing those beautifully white, perfect teeth. His strong arms that carried me from the couch to our bed many times, that were ever so gentle but could break a dumbster in half with just barely any strength. Derek had my heart in his hands since the first time we had ever laid eyes on each other.

I stood in front of the mirror, my black dress stopping at my knees, with a higher neckline and the long sleeves. I could barely do my makeup, today was the day. I had to say goodbye. I did my makeup and pulled my dull brown hair down over my shoulders and chest. I could still feel the soft but calloused hands running through my hair, which was a rich deep brown just a few short days ago. When I was full of life. Now I was empty, i had nothing, i had no one. I came out of the bedroom and looked at the pack all dressed in suits. I was only a human,but Derek and everyone else, they’re werewolves. I had planned on asking derek to turn me one day, but i wasnt ready now. I grabbed his uncle peters hand as we walked out of Dereks loft.

When we arrived at the Cemetary I sat in peters car. I couldnt move, i couldnt breath. My soul mate was gone and I had to tell him goodbye. Peter stood next to the passenger side with the door open. He understood what I was going through. He squatted next to me and grabbed my hands, his veins turning black as he tried to take my pain away, I pulled my hands away, my horsed voice coming out. “Stop that. Pain is how i know this isnt a dream” I looked at him with blood shot eyes and a tear stained face.

“I know dear, itll get easier as the months pass, i promise. We are all here for you” he mumbled quietly. Peter helped me from the car, staying beside me the whole time as soon as we walked in the funreal home, i froze. he laid in a casket just like he slept sometimes. the stress, and worry lines gone from his face. I wanted so badly to curl up next to him and wake from this horrid nightmare. Many people came and paid their respects. I had to tell the story a few times and each time peter stepped in and asked the people to give me some space. I was the last one standing in the funreal home with him. Derek was in a suit, he would have ripped it to shreds before wearing it. I reached out and caressed his cheek as more tears fell. I began crying harder, “i love you so much, why did you have to leave me” i cried staring at him. “I need you, you cant leave me now Derek” I sobbed dropping to the floor. “I need you” I cried harder as Peter picked me up carrying me back to the car.

The funreal was short and I had to look away when they lowered him. “Please be a dream…please” I whispered to myself. I wasnt waking up, i just wanted to wake up and see him laying there smiling at me as he watched me sleep. I broke down bailing into peters chest. That night I laid in bed, the huge bed for my small body, I cletched his pillow to my body. He was really gone, I couldnt breath, my lungs felt like they had collasped on themselves. I laid on my back gasping. Peter, scott and stiles were suddenly at my sides.

They talked so fast I couldnt understand them. I had something put in my mouth and sprayed. I coughed and my legs felt like they were opening back up. I looked at them for a moment trying to catch my breath. “You were having a panic attack.” Stiles said looking at me sympathetically. “I used to get them all the time after my mom died, using the inhaler made you think you were having an asthma attack and settled you down.” he sat beside me and held my hand. “Why dont I stay here tonight and keep an eye on you? Peter and Scott have some pack things to do.” I could only nod.

I hadnt slept in a few days, each night Scott, Peter and Stiles would all take turns watching me, making sure I didnt have anymore panic attacks. I felt useless, I had no emotions anymore, I ended up losing my job at the newspaper and was told I would only be rehired when I “got my shit together, its been 2 months. I should be okay by now” I sat at the kitchen table one night staring at the windows watching it storm. When I did sleep, I would wake up screaming, by now the boys would just soothe me, give me a drink and put me back to bed. I was paled now, with large, dark circles under my eyes. My eyes turned from a brillant blue to a dull blue gray, as my hair looked dull and lifeless. I was slowly killing myself without Derek.

I went and visited him as often as the guys would let me. I tried everyday but they wouldnt allow it, I need to heal. I could feel Peter taking the pain away as he rubbed my back that night. “why do you stay here?” I looked up from my coffee cup. “Because its my home, its mine and dereks home” i felt the tears strike again. My throat tightened as they rolled down my cheeks. “here” he walked over to a cabinet and grabbed some glasses and a couple bottles of alcohol.

The only time i used to drink was when derek would cook us dinner and we would enjoy some wine with it. “to ease the pain better than a werewolf can” Peter smiled softly at me as he poured me a drink. I grabbed the bottle drinking it down, it burned my throat but i knew it would numb me. I was about two and a half bottles into some whiskey. I just sat there, not feeling anything. My throat clear down to my legs were numb. “I was going to ask him to turn me, but, I wanted to be married first” I said staring into space. “there was nothing more that I wanted than to spend eternity with him” I spoke with a dead look in my eyes. “and now 6 months later and here i am, jobless, id be homeless if I left here, I havent even began to pack up his things. I miss him. I miss the happy derek, the mean derek, the alpha derek. I miss just….Derek.” I rambled.

I finished my third bottle and looked at Peter. “Im going to bed. Goodnight old friend” I stumbled toward the doorway patting his shoulder as i went. I laid on the bed curled to his pillow, the scent fading. Soon to be gone i was sure. I stared at the ceiling. I blinked and was on the floor with the sunshining in the window. I felt all the pain again, the emptiness and the loneliness. I stumbled out of the room hearing peter talking about me to someone. I shook my head alittle, I could hear voices but I couldnt make out the words, I clutched to a table and accidently knocked a vase off shattering it. I cringed at the sound, I began to pick the pieces up when I cut my hand, the bright red flowing out against the white pale skin made my chest hurt. I was human, I was alive. I heard the door open and suddenly peter was in front of me. “Scott! grab some towels!” he growled/ yelled. I heard footsteps in the kitchen. “Who is that?” I asked looking at him. “no one. Im going to have scott fix up your hand, then put you back to bed.” he said.

I yanked my hand from his and stood up with a wobble. he reached out grabbing me. “Im fine.” I turned toward the kitchen and walked over to the door opening it. A man turned, “Peter is she-” he stopped staring at me. I couldnt breath, my heart stopped. There he stood, his black tshirt and dark jeans and boots. I felt Scott wrapping my hand but my hearing was gone. Derek stood there staring at me. “I can explain” I shook my head at him and turned toward peter and scott. “whats going on” They looked at each other and then at Derek. “We were going to tell you tonight, but, Derek isnt dead. There was an Alpha pack in town that was after Scott and derek didnt want you to get hurt” I stood there before I turned to him. “How?” I could tell he understood my question, “Deaton was able to knock me out for a bit. Peter didnt let you stay for the whole funreal, before they buried me, Id had Isaac, who used to dig graves, go in and dig me a tunnel to be able to get out.”

I held no emotion, some whiskey still in my system was owed a thanks. I stared at all of them. “So, I pretty much have been killing myself for the last 6 months for nothing?” I mumbled, Derek looked down and Stiles nodded “yes” I suddenly glared at all of them. “You better be glad youre werewolves” I walked back into our room and slammed the door. I shook my head and peeked through the key whole. He really was here. I went and took a hot shower. ‘hes…..hes alright, hes alive.’

I got dressed and sat in the warm steamed bathroom. There was a knock and the door opened slowly, Derek came in closing the door. I stared up at him as he sat infront of me. “Im so sorry, If I could have figured out another way before they showed up I would have. I just didnt want you to get hurt” he said as he placed his hands on either side of my face. My eyes closed soaking in the heat radiating off his hands. “I want to be so pissed at you derek” I mumbled. “you have every right to be to, if you want to leave or hit me, i understand, I understand if you hate me” he said, his eyes full of sorrow. “I said I want to be, I, feel like a 10,000 pound boulder has been lifted off my chest. I get to see you again, hold your hands, kiss your lips, run my fingers through your hair. Have you next to me again…I couldnt be mad even if I really really wanted to. Im in love with you Derek.” I kissed him, pulling him as close as I could get him. I smiled at him. “I wasnt going to say anything but you dont look very healthy.” He said eyeing the difference in skin tone and the dull eyes and hair. I nodded “Im okay though” I kissed him once more as he used those strong arms and carried me to our bed, to sleep. I had my heart back now, and I wasnt going to let him go for anything. “oh and one more thing Derek” I said after about 20 minutes of quietness. “hmm?” he asked pretty much asleep. “I want you to turn me, after we get married” I smiled curling into him as I felt him jolt and he looked at me. “Goodnight derek” I kissed him and drifted to sleep.

Bad Boy Harry

“Can you close to door behind you before you leave? I’m in such a rush and I’m late for a meeting.” He whispers to me before clutching onto his small briefcase and tripping over his own feet out the door, leaving me to be isolated in this large, messy art room as I pack my drawing pencils and sketchbook in my denim backpack. I just about manage to squeeze what are my life essentials in my bag before swinging it round over my shoulder. As I make my way out I notice a drawing I did two years ago still proudly hanging on the wall beside the door. It’s a quick hand drawn sketch of my grandparents holding hands as they sit on their old fashioned floral couch. I decided to draw it in memory of them and I always dreamed to have a relationship like theirs, no matter how old they were, they still loved each other and were still affectionate even in their old age. It’s really heartwarming. My thoughts are suddenly interrupted with a figure leaning against the door frame, arms and legs crossed.
“You’re really talented.” The voice projects throughout the room as the strong English accent and husky tone hits my ear drums, it sounded like velvet. Rich and smooth. I look up to a tall character. His black converse were suffocated in mud and dirt, his skinny jeans were black and fitted perfectly around his slender legs, his shirt was V shaped and the sleeves were rolled up showing not only his incredible muscles but his tattoo’s were peeking through. Once again, my marvelous thoughts are interrupted. “All this talent but no voice. Interesting…” He takes small steps towards me. I glance up to meet his eyes. I quickly became lost in a trance with his emerald coloured eyes piercing into what now seems, my completely lifeless eyes. His hair is pushed back into a quiff as his brown curls fall gracefully down the sides against his ears. I swear his skin was glowing. His dimples carved accurately to achieve this ultimately flawless boy. Just finding the right words to speak was a quest. He steps closer to me, enough that he is standing only centimeters away from my body, which I would happily give him. I had no idea who he was, but he’s perfect. “I always thought you were talented.” A cheeky smirk shines through his face as my heart melts even more. He was better than perfect. He turns his head slightly as bites on his bottom lip hard starring at mine. Is he turned on by me? What? Am I dreaming? I’m literally a loner with one friend, my step brother, and I didn’t have time to do my makeup or hair this morning so how is this even happening right now? Who would even want me? I need to say something before I go insane. “Uh… Thanks. I guess…” Oh god, that went terrible. I look down to the floor as the blood rushes through my cheeks making me blush. I’m so done. This is embarrassing. This is why I can’t socialize especially with perfect guys like this. I grip onto the straps on my bag tight out of embarrassment. I’m so awkward, I hate it. His hand reaches out for my chin gently placing two fingers underneath to guide slowly up in order for me to get lost in his eyes once again. “You should be more confident. There’s nothing to be worried about, I promise. I like you.” The velvet tone runs through me into my stomach as I feel the butterflies in me grow stronger. Wait. He likes me? I quickly give off a confused expression making him pull his hand away and giggle to himself. He holds his hands behind his back as he looks down to his feet, rocking himself back and forth. “You shouldn’t doubt yourself. I know I’m not the preppy, rich kid, straight A student kinda guy but either way, I’ve had this feeling towards you since you moved here.” My stomach is turning inside out. Am I hearing this right? He walks over to the book shelves on the wall pulling out an ancient designing book skimming through the pages. “Me?” I quietly reply in shock. Why would he like me? He places the book down on the counter, leans against it, looks up at me and gestures with his finger for me to go over to him. I obey. I stand in front of him as he opens his legs, grabbing my waist pulling me in between them. I felt safe and at home. I wanted him and I wanted him now. His fingers lace themselves behind my back. “Yes, you. There’s no one else here.” His smile grows much bigger as his cheeks flush with red and pink. He wanted me. This flawless boy wants me just as much as I want him. I need to let go of my label as a lonely pathetic girl and let loose. I knew what I wanted. I wrap my arms up and around his shoulder and behind his neck. I lean forward and whisper into his ear, “I want you too.” His large hand gently runs up my side then to my cheek as he guides my forehead against his. His breathing has became louder and deeper. I knew he wanted this. I wanted it to. His thumb soothes my cheek. I run my hands through his curly hair. In a perfect rhythm, we both slowly but meaningfully lean in until our lips meet. His lips were soft, plumped and warm but his kiss was becoming harder as he begins to let his tongue explore my mouth. The pace was picking up. I run my hands slowly up his shirt feeling his abs harden. His kisses were becoming so intense that he pulls back. “Are you sure you want to do this?” His breathing is even deeper as his chest rises up and down. I nod while starring at his lips biting mine hard. This feeling is unbearable. I can’t cope. He smiles playfully and holds my arms guiding my body to replace his against the counter. He grips my waist even tighter, his kisses were harder yet deeper as he grinds his hardness onto me. I tug at the bottom of his shirt directing him to take it off. His lifts his shirt uncovering his tattoos that glistened on his golden skin. He innocently slips his hand into my pants rubbing against me in a slow torturing motion making me moan my innocence away. His fingers sliding themselves back and forth covered in my wetness as he releases his moans. The feelings were growing. His actions grow to press harder and faster making me almost come from it and the noises falling from his plumped lips. He pulls his hand out. “You’re so wet.” He giggles between a breath, smiling to me. I couldn’t help myself. I unbuckle the button on his jeans and unzip to reveal his black tight boxers as I tug down the jeans to his ankles. “Eager, are we?” He smiles. I stand back up to have him lift me up onto the counter opening my legs for him to place himself. His fingers hook around my pants to pull them off. Luckily I was wearing my skirt today. “Oh, red. That’s my favourite colour on you.” He says pointing at my pants. I hit him playfully out of embarrassment. He throws them away before leaning down into this back pocket pulling out a condom. “Would you like to do the honors?” He says passing the packet to me. I carefully place it beside me as I pull him into me, reaching my hand down into his boxers as they gently stroke his length. He lets out soft moans encouraging me to wrap my hand around him and start a decent pace. He was so hard for me. “Fuck.” He moans. I swear I could have come there and then. I pick up the pace as my grip gets tighter and his breathing gets deeper and moaning gets louder. “Babe, you need to stop or I’ll come in my boxers.” I giggle to myself but just hearing him speak was enough for me. I reach for the condom then pull down his boxers. His eyes were glued to me to entire time as I rip the packet open and place the condom on. “I want to fuck you here, on the counter.” He gasps. I smile to myself as I try to catch my breath. I pull on his hair while whispering, “Do it then”. He bites on his lip so hard as he holds his length gently rubbing the tip against me. It was pure torture. “I want to hear you say it.” I could barely hear him over our moans and deep breathing. I run my hands though his hair and pull it hard guiding his lips only millimeters away from mine. “I want you to fuck me.” Suddenly he slides his length into me, only a little at a time making me beg and moan for more. He wanted it. I wanted it. As I take him in deeper my moans progress to get louder which he notices and kisses me hard to keep my quiet. The last thing we need is for someone to walk in on us. His pace picks up as he thrusts into me harder and harder. His moans consisted of curse words and heavenly noises. The sweat forms on his skin making it shine against the lights. The feelings build up inside me as he makes his final action. I pulled onto his hair one final time as I come around his length. I feel him fill inside of me before he pulls out and tries to catch his breathe. “What’s your name?” I say as I jump off the counter to clean myself up. “Harry. Harry Styles.”

We are unexpectedly disrupted by a knock on the door. 

anonymous asked:

Jackie and Hyde for the ship thing

:’) my heart is on the floor 

Send me and OTP and I’ll tell you who:

-accidentally falls off the bed in the middle of the night: Hyde but is it really an accident when five minutes before jackie begged him for a glass of water and when he shot her down with a “jackie dammit I’m not the hired help you know where the kitchen is” only to feel her tiny feet shoving him, with more force than he would care to admit off the bed? Needless to say ten minutes later he has a content jackie burkhart snuggling against his chest and an empty glass on his night stand that he will swear to god he only got because “I was going to the kitchen for a midnight snack anyways man I didn’t do it for you” and Jackie sleepily replies the same thing she told him all those years ago when they were still miles away from knowing what they would mean to each other, “Oh Steven you’re such a bad liar.” 

-gives the other piggy back rides: Hyde back when they were still navigating their rocky friendship it started one day after a particularly rocky sledding accident had Jackie limping beside him pitifully with her face crumpled up because “I woke up at five am to set my hair and now I bet it’s all lifeless and limp like Donna’s” God she could be irritating here she might have a sprained ankle and she’s whining about her precious, beautiful (where the hell did that come from?) hair. He scooped her up easily and threw her on his back and really it was just to shut her up man but he couldn’t and still cant explain why the feel of her face in his neck her hands wrapped around his shoulders and the feel of her breath on his cheek had his hands shaking and his breath coming quicker… “Man Leo’s stash must be way stronger than the stuff I usually get” he rationalizes later that night.  

-tries to act tough but is really a giant sap: HYDEEEEEEEEE until he gets around Jackie then he’s nothing more than her “precious puddin pop” 

-almost burns down the kitchen trying to bake: oh man Jackie Jackie Jackie and after the third time they practically burn down Forman’s house (he lets her test out all her new recipes at Eric’s instead of their apartment to avoid the smokiness chasing him out and also because he can’t exactly pass up the opportunity for a great burn) she decides its time for her to take a cooking class, he agrees wholeheartedly…that is until he finds out it’s a couples cooking class but he takes one look at the adorable albeit manipulative puppy dog face and the next thing he knows he’s teaching Kelso how to make a souflee if only to watch him screw it up and catch his shirt on fire a few times obviously. 

-sings lullabies to their kids: Hyde surprisingly has an amazing voice and after hearing Jackie’s strangled cat gargle he decides to spare his six month old twins (a boy and a girl) the hearing loss that’s sure to come. Of course it’s only Led Zeppelin songs and Jackie would much rather he sing something by The Captain and Tennille but she can’t help but fall in love with him a little more everyday when she hears him.   

-morning person vs dead until they get their coffee: Oh god Jackie Jackie Jackie to be fair it’s not exactly her fault she used to get up early for Cheerleading in high school and now hosting her own talk show she has to be up and out by at least 7:30. Hyde has to stop himself from screaming when he hears her loudly playing The Dancing Queen at 5:45 but some of his rage tempers off when as she’s leaving she plants a kiss on his lips and whispers she loves him and he can smell the distinct smell of fresh coffee wafting up from the dresser. Damn she knows him well. 

-cries during sappy movies: Jackie and of course then she starts to panic and asks “Steven oh god how do I look mom always said I was such an ugly crier and frankly crying is unladylike” and as he looks at her with her puffy red eyes and wet cheeks those little chinks in her armor the reminder that even when Jackie had more money and class and popularity than he had she was still just as lonely and neglected by her family by the people who were supposed to love her…just like him and he can’t think of a moment where she could ever be anything other than beautiful.  

-wears a billion layers because they get cold easily: both of them have you ever been to fucking Wisconsin it’s freezing. Although they do find other more creative ways to stay warm when they’re alone. 

-initiates cuddling: Jackie and at first she thinks he doesn’t like it that maybe even now maybe even after she peeled back all the hurt and resentment and anger hiding behind those damn sunglasses he’s always wearing in the end he’s a guy and guys only want one thing out of bed just like Michael just like every other guy she’s ever loved maybe this isn’t the kind of intimacy a guy like Steven would be into but then she feels his hands wrapping around her waist, their fingers interlacing, and a warm kiss on the back of her neck and the doubt vanishes like smoke. He’s nothing like those other guys…

-hogs the covers: Jackie Jackie Jackie although she likes to think she makes up for her selfishness in other ways.

-would fall over their own feet while trying to seduce the other: Jackie, she once told Hyde that girls didn’t want sex as bad as guys did (to be fair she was dating Michael at the time and he was anything but generous in bed) but she can’t help but think she was sorely mistaken when she feels Steven’s lips at her ear telling her how to hold the pool stick and his hand guiding her waist into the movement. She’s off kilter she’s so unused to this feeling. If Michael was butterflies in her stomach Steven was a thunderstorm, she didn’t feel anything “light” with him. And for the first time ever that made her happy she deserved more than lukewarm love. 

The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth - Ch 18

TITLE: The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth
CHAPTER NUMBER: 18
AUTHOR:  theothercourse
WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Actor Tom
GENRE: Comedy/Drama/Romance/Erotica (eventually)
FIC SUMMARY:  In the summer of 2009, Tom Hiddleston is starring as Lysander in A Midsummer Night’s Dream at The Globe with his New Yorker friend, Terry. Kristiane, Terry’s best friend, visits to see opening night and spend a two week vacation in London, but to also hide from her life in NYC. A love story with a twist, a splash of drama, a sprinkling of Shakespeare and a generous helping of romance.
RATING: Mature (for smut)
AUTHORS NOTES: Feedback welcome - likes/reblogs/comments are love / thank you all for those that are reading / Unbeta’d / Story masterpost ( X )

Ch 1 - Ch 2 - Ch 3 - Ch 4 - Ch 5 - Ch 6 - Ch 7 - Ch 8 - Ch 9 - Ch 10 - Ch 11 - Ch 12 - Ch 13 - Ch 14 - Ch 15 - Ch 16 - Ch 17

The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth - Chapter 18

I shivered against the cold as I pulled on my Wicked sweatshirt over my two sizes too big Phantom of the Opera t-shirt, and flopped down to wait for Terry for our Christmas Day tradition. We exchanged gifts while sharing a bottle of wine before going to dinner tipsy with any friends around the city, either back in Manhattan as unemployed, on break from their national tours or too far from home to visit family for the day and a half break from Broadway. Our group was a mismatched ragtag team of out of towners or intentional orphans, finding family in each other instead of blood relations.

With an exaggerated yawn and stretch, I picked up last Sunday’s New York Times crossword puzzle. My secret ambition was to complete one in my lifetime without help, or research. I’d been working on defeating the weekly crossword since the age of twenty. My phone rang almost immediately after I sat down. I was already rolling my eyes at Terry for being late. He could keep on a time schedule as well as I could remember names.

“Are you running late already?” I asked with exasperation.

A deep nervous laughter followed by smooth honeyed accented voice greeted, “If I’m expected for tea, Kristiane, I’m afraid I’ll be very much delayed.”

“Tom!”

Keep reading

15 Worst Shampoos

Of all the hair care products in your shower, your shampoo is a nonnegotiable necessity. We all need a good lather to wash out the grime after a run or after we’ve employed multiple styling products. But a great shampoo should not only leave our hair soft, clean and smelling delightful, it should also help cut down post-shower styling time by priming strands for our desired style of the day. 

But when the shampoo we choose to use ends up dirtying our hair instead of cleaning it, and dries it out instead of infusing it with the moisture we need – that’s when it ends up on our worst shampoos list. 

No. 15: TRESemme Vitamin B12 & Gelatin Anti-Breakage Shampoo, $3.84TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 6*
Why: Readers say, “This shampoo (with its matching conditioner) actually seemed to dry my hair out even more. You’d think that a product that’s supposed to inhibit breakage would help moisturize the hair, but this really didn’t at all. In addition, my hair felt like it had an odd ‘plastic-y’ coat on it that made it feel heavy. I’m guessing that’s from the gelatin. I don’t recommend this at all.” Another says, “It left my hair feeling waxy (from the gelatin in it) and dry. The smell and the price was great, but not worth going back to purchase more." 

No. 14: Matrix Amplify Volumizing Shampoo, $18TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.9*
Why: One reader says, "I have a lot of hair, but it’s fine, so the girl told me [this product] would give me volume. I saw no volume and it left a buildup on my hair, which I did not like – and it even says on the bottle [that] it won’t leave buildup.” Another says, “this shampoo is awful. It smells good, but totally stripped the color from my hair and didn’t really add much volume at all.” And one reviewer says, “This product didn’t give my hair any extra volume. In fact, I think it became more flat after using this shampoo and conditioner. It smells nice, but doesn’t do anything for my thin, flat hair.”

No. 13: Bath & Body Works Signature Collection Moisturizing Shampoo, $7.50TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.8*
Why: Readers say this shampoo “leaves hair sticky, greasy and lifeless.” One explains, “'Ugh’ is all I have to say about this shampoo. All you get is scent but little else. I ended up using mine for shaving my legs. Not worth the hype or the price.” Another agrees saying, “this smells lovely in the bottle, but I find the scent does not last on my hair. I also find that it makes my hair more unmanageable than my usual shampoo but it costs more.” And one reader says, “as something that’s supposed to moisturize, this shampoo fails utterly. It actually stripped my hair of moisture, leaving me with dull, rough-looking hair." 

No. 12: Burt’s Bees Rosemary Mint Shampoo Bar, $6TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.6*
Why: "Not only did it NOT clean my hair, [this shampoo] dried it to a Brillo pad. It’s an item to bring with you on a camping trip, I suppose, but not if you intend on combing out your hair afterward. I had to reenter the shower and use half a bottle of conditioner to get my hair somewhat approachable,” says a reader. Others complain about the lack of suds saying, “I had to use a lot of this to get some kind of lather in my long hair [and] it still didn’t get my hair very clean.” Another agrees saying, “it was pretty difficult to get enough lather to completely get my hair clean, and I ended up in the shower for way longer than I wanted to be.”

No. 11: John Frieda Radiant Red Color Captivating Daily Shampoo, $6.49TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.5*
Why: "This has to be one of the worst shampoos I have ever used,“ says a reader. "Not only did it make my hair greasy and tangled, but it also did not seem to be preserving my color at all. I even used it with other products in the line: the conditioner, the color enhancing cream, etc. and all it did was stain my fingernails and towels red.” One reader says, “the first (and last time) I used it my hair turned a maroon color.” And another says, “after one shampoo my white towel was red from the color this shampoo stripped." 

No. 10: TRESemme ColorThrive Brunette Shampoo, $5.99TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.4*
Why: Readers say, "this did nothing for my color. It didn’t help it last longer or brighten it and it worked so-so in terms of cleansing.” Another reader says, “At first I really liked this shampoo, but maybe after three times of using it, my scalp was itchy. And I’m not allergic to any shampoos.” And one woman simply warns, “beware." 

No. 9: Head and Shoulders Refresh 2 in 1, $5.99TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.4*
Why: One woman says she "thought my hair was going to fall out” after using this product. And another says, “it burns my scalp and got in my eye – you don’t want to know what that feels like.” One reader says, “this bottle got tossed in the trash before my hair was dry. I’d rather live with the dandruff than to ever put myself through that again. I had a minor out-break of dandruff and, of course, decided on the one and only dandruff shampoo that I’ve known since the '70s. Never again. The burn that penetrated my scalp was painful and I could feel the texture of my hair disintegrate in my hands.”

No. 8: Aveda Clove Shampoo, $29.50TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.3*
Why: This product “smells great but doesn’t do anything for color depositing like the name suggests,” says a reader. Another reader says, it “doesn’t really act as a coloring agent. If you use this in the shower, as most people do, prepare for a lot of brown residue on places other than [your] hair.” Overall, readers say it “left my hair frizzy and stripped,” and is “way too expensive for shampoo." 

No. 7: TIGI Bed Head Self Absorbed Shampoo, $10.93TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.1*
Why: One reader says, "this shampoo is no better than any drugstore brand. The smell is too chemical-y

No. 6: TIGI Bed Head Moisture Maniac Shampoo, $10.93TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 5.1*
Why: Readers say, "this did nothing for my hair other than make it feel greasy and weighed down. I wouldn’t recommend it!” One woman says, “wonderful smell, average product.” Another agrees saying, “my hair smelled great after using this, but it wasn’t very moisturized.” Another says it left her hair “with an oily residue” and one person says the “name is misleading. Although this shampoo smells great, it does not offer enough moisturization for my dry, breakable hair." 

No. 5: Alterna Ten Shampoo, $60TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 4.9*
Why: Readers say this product has an "outrageous price” and is “not worth it at all.” One says, “this shampoo is definitely not worth the price [as] it made my hair feel very heavy and flat.” Another user had a similar experience saying, “I used a small amount of the shampoo like it said to and my hair ended up limp, lifeless and full of static. My hair was impossible to style – no body and wouldn’t hold a curl for anything." 

No. 4: Burt’s Bees More Moisture Raspberry & Brazil Nut Shampoo, $8TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 4.9*
Why: One reader says, "this shampoo smells great but doesn’t do much for my thick, coarse hair,” and it leaves another reader’s fine hair feeling “waxy.” Another woman says this product “made my hair a matted mess! It made my hair drier than it was to begin with [and] the smell is sickening. FAIL!” One user says, she “was amazed how terrible it was. Within two days of purchasing it I threw it out. My hair felt greasy, matted and all around dirty.” Another says she “hated the smell” so much that “it was so hard to get past it. It smelled sour and rancid.”

No. 3: Bumble and bumble Seaweed Shampoo, $18TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 4.5*
Why: Readers say, “I heard about Bumble and bumble and thought I would give it a try. I was not impressed at all. I have fine hair and by the end of the day it was greasy and flat.” Another says, “I was really disappointed with this shampoo, especially considering how much I paid for it! Didn’t do anything special to my hair and it didn’t even smell good. The only thing that it did do was clean my hair, but so can a 99 cent bottle of Suave. Never again!” And one woman says, “I’d only use this to wash a dog I didn’t like." 

No. 2: Samy Smooth Shampoo, $6.49TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 3.3*
Why: One reader says, "this is an awful product, and the words I uttered in the shower while using it aren’t the kind of words to use here. Where do I start? The back of the bottle should say, 'remember, you get what you pay for.’ Sticky? Yes. Foul odor? Yup. Causes knots, tangles and unbrushable hair? Yup. Will conditioner fix this problem? Nope … no way.” And another says, “this shampoo made my hair heavy, dry and just horrible! I used it once then washed my dog with it." 

No. 1: Biosilk Hydrating Shampoo, $28.99TotalBeauty.com average member rating: 3.3*
Why: One reader describes her experience with this product as "one bottle, three people and a trash can.” Translation: “My roommate gave this to me with no explanation and I was stoked. I kept using it even though it barely lathered and left my poor hair stripped of all moisture and impossible to style. Finally I gave it to my sister, thinking it would work better [for her]. She used it once and threw it out.” Another reader also “really wanted to like this” and thought “maybe a fifth or sixth attempt may 'improve’ the hair,” but alas she continued to be left with “a greasy scalp by the end of the night, lifeless tired roots, and dirty hair that needed to be rewashed.”

K HyX� ��