my grandma has one of these

reasons to be less sad

so MORE things in my life are going wrong because i honestly cannot catch a break, so here’s a list of reasons i shouldn’t be sad:

1. i make the BEST chocolate chip cookies. you know that post about little magics that everyone has? this might might be mine. i literally just follow the recipe on the back of the nestle chocolate chip bag, but i’ve has dozens of people say they don’t believe me and ask for the recipe because they’re THAT GOOD

2. cascara lattes from starbucks exist and it’s my new favorite

3. there’s this bar/diner place that me and my friends go to every friday covered floor to ceiling with pictures of dogs. we’re known as regulars and liked enough by the staff that they’ve cleared whole sections out for us and seated us in front of a long line of people

4. this past weekend i reorganized and cleaned my whole house and got a microwave, new curtains, a new kitchen table set for less than $100 and my house actually looks like a home now i love it a lot

5. i have four different active groupchats that consist of different mixes of the same seven people. i don’t know why but it hysterical to me that we have that many chats. their names are: three musketeers, the founders, resources, and 101.3

6. i work on a studio lot and even tho i’m only a legal assistant i feel just as cool walking around on my lunch break with big sunglasses and an iced latte. i could be someone Famous and Important, no one knows.

7. i’m slowly accumulating a collection of mermaid themed things because all my friends know i love them so much that they keep giving them to me for holidays

8. i have two cats and i love them and i know they love me because they sleep on my bed every night and in the mornings as soon as they know i’m awake they literally shove their heads into my hands for pets and curl up beside me and sit on my chest

9. i saw hamilton last may with the original cast and since i bought the tickets way in advance before hamilton blew up to the point of ridiculousness i paid about a tenth of what the tickets for my row were going for in the months after lin announced he was leaving

10. mulan is by far my favorite disney movie and i was worried about how the live action adaption would go but i just found out they’ve hired the same lady director that did whale rider!! which is one of my fave underappreciated movies and i just trust her so much to do a good job with mulan

Do you think if hollstein has kids one day they’d tell them that Carmilla used to be a vampire? Because I’m totally imagining one of their kids going to school and telling the class “One of my mommies used to be a vampire and my grandma was an evil goddess who opened the gates of hell and killed my other mommy but then my mommy got turned back into a human and another goddess sent my dead Aunt Mattie to her as a messenger so they made a deal and brought my other mommy back to life!” and the teacher is just like “Um…that’s nice dear.”

And then that afternoon Carmilla tries not to laugh while Laura is on the phone with a very concerned guidance counselor.

  • Character A: Your date killed grandma. Why did you, bring Death to Thanksgiving?
  • Character B: Well Death was the only being, willing to be my fake date for this dinner.
  • Death: If I can interject? One, I agreed because your cute. Two, it was kind of your grandma's time. The old girl has been dodging me for like a century.
  • Character A&B: ...
  • Death: Also this mac and cheese is banging.
if it’s fate

Sooo I started writing this Sterek fic ~5 months ago as a drabble on my phone, and then it unexpectedly became like 4000 words long?! Anyway, then college happened (again) and things stalled… until now. My first act upon graduating has been to finish this, so here it is at last!

Sterek, 4k, Rated T

(DISCLAIMER: I may have taken a few liberties with the mythology in this fic because I didn’t feel like doing much research beyond Wikipedia. Just go with it. Creative license, whoo!)

Of course the one time Stiles needs a werewolf, Scott is stuck Christmas shopping with his grandma, Boyd and Erica are touring colleges in New York, and Isaac is housebound with some kind of werewolf flu. 

And that just leaves Derek. Of course. Because Stiles’ luck is shitty like that.

He’s pretty sure asking his ex-whatever to help him find Lydia’s cat would be breaking some kind of unstated rule, and he’s definitely sure Derek doesn’t want to see him or talk to him or in any other way be reminded of his existence. But on the other hand, Buttercup’s safety—and more importantly, Stiles’ safety, because if Stiles loses Lydia’s cat then he’s probably going to die a very painful death—definitely trumps Derek’s delicate feelings, so.

It’s not even like Stiles did anything that terrible. He thought Derek was dying, okay. Derek had just fought off six hunters by himself, because he still refused to acknowledge that he didn’t have to do everything by himself all the time like some kind of Batman. By the time Stiles got there, Derek was bleeding out on the concrete, doing a stellar impression of a wolfsbane-arrow pincushion, and what the hell else was Stiles supposed to think? So yeah, Stiles kissed him. Once. 

And for the record, Derek totally kissed him back—for several long, heart-stopping seconds, his hand coming up to brush Stiles’ jaw—before he fainted and the pack showed up and Stiles got shoved unceremoniously out of the way and Derek didn’t end up dead after all.

Also, for the record, Stiles had apologized. It was one kiss, and he’s said sorry, and it was three fucking weeks ago, and he doesn’t know what the fuck else he’s supposed to do to get Derek to stop avoiding him.

So basically, Derek is overreacting, and he should answer his damn door.

When he finally does, he looks wary, standing back like he has to keep the door between them or else Stiles is going to jump him. 

Stiles sighs. “Look, I’m not even here about that, so you don’t have to worry, okay? Also, you look like shit,” he adds, because Derek does. Well, it’s Derek, so he still looks gorgeous enough to be on a magazine cover, but he also doesn’t look like he’s shaved in a while, and he’s got deep shadows under his eyes like he hasn’t been sleeping that well, either. 

Derek crosses his arms. “Why are you here, Stiles?”

“So I kind of told Lydia I’d cat-sit Buttercup? Except her cat is literally evil and some kind of mastermind—”

“You lost her,” Derek summarizes flatly.

No,” Stiles corrects, “she escaped. There were claws involved, Derek. And fangs. It was very traumatic.”

“I’m sure,” Derek says.

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things my roommate has learned about Overwatch from tumblr

- everyone is gay

- straight boys are sad about that

- the tol pink one dates the short parka one

- the angel lady dates the daughter of the grandma

- grandma approves/disapproves of this

- the filthy junk man is trans and is dating the pig man

- Lucio is very sweet and wants everyone to get along

- you have to stay on the payload

Brother’s Day

I just broke my own damn heart with this idea, so I have to share.


Sam looks around him as all of his classmates work on their cards for their moms for Mother’s Day. His teacher was really nice about explaining that not everyone had a mom. Some kids have a step-mom. One of his classmates had two dads, but no one liked to talk about that. He was making a card for his Grandma. There was only one other kid in his class that didn’t have any kind of mom, but he has an aunt, which is kind of like a mom. 

Mrs. Earhart stops next to his desk and kneels down so she’s closer to eye level. She’s tall, like Dad, and first-grade desks are small. “What’s wrong, Sam?”

“I don’t have a mom. Or a grandma. Or a step-mom. Or an aunt. It’s just my Dad.”

Sam doesn’t understand the look that crosses Mrs. Earhart’s face, but she covers it quickly by smiling. “Well, is there anyone else in your life that takes care of you? Someone who looks out for you and cares for you?”

Sam thinks about who pours his cereal every day, who makes sure his shoelaces are tied right, who makes sure his buttons aren’t buttoned crooked, and helps him with zippers.

Sam smiles at his teacher. “Yeah!”

Sam spends more time working on his card than anyone else, still working on it through snack time. He’s so proud of it when he’s done, he carefully folds it and tucks it into his jacket pocket so he won’t lose it.

When Sunday comes around, he’s so excited, he’s nearly buzzing from the moment he wakes up. He waits patiently for Dean to wake up and start his day, trying to be extra good, because Dean is always cranky in the mornings. Dean seems extra cranky today, but Sam is too excited to wonder why. As Dean finishes pouring Sam’s cereal, Sam takes the card out of his jacket pocket and smooths it out. He wants it to be perfect when he hands it to his brother. When Dean sits down with his own breakfast in front of him, Sam carefully slides the card across the table towards his brother.

Dean takes a long look at the card, cleaning off his fingers and picking it up so he can open it and see what’s inside. He has a sad smile, because he knows what this day is supposed to be, but his little brother just made it not so bad.

Dean gives little Sammy the biggest smile he can muster and ruffles his hair. “Thanks, Sammy. Happy Brother’s Day to you, too!”

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little things to love about seokmin
  • smiley sunshine!!!
  • cutest lil sunflower!!!
  • the dorkiest boy 
  • powerful vocals 
  • part of the great gag trio
  • seokhorse!
  • always coming up with play-on-words and puns 
  • moves around a lot 
  • a very wiggly person LOL 
  • “twoteen!” 
  • “hEY YOU UGLY PEOPLE”
  • MOST EXPRESSIVE!!!
  • thighs for DAYYSSSSSSSSSSSS
  • always screaming for some reason. same tho 
  • radiant charisma
  • naruto fan
  • always doing naruto runs or pretends to summon justus
  • has very pretty hands!
  • same birthday as vernon
  • grandpa!seokmin along with grandma!hoshi
  • loves karaoke 
  • super lively, but is also sensitive
  • makes a lot of funny faces 
  • can go from “bright sunny dk” to “mr. steal yo girl dk” in .5 seconds i cant believe
  • “My name is Lee Seokmin, my favorite food is Wenchang chicken” 
  • quite good at cooking! 
  • one of his specialties is losing stuff
  • also singing loudly is another one 
  • remember when he packed a humidifier for ‘one fine day’
  • “I want to bite myself” hAHA OMG
  • yo he has very nice eyebrows like when will i ever
  • predebut seokmin omfg
  • he stil thinks he needs to improve on his singing, he works hard to become better 
  • such a humble human ;; 
  • i hope our lil ray of sunshine has a great day 

I feel like I should tell you what just happened. Do you want me to tell you what just happened?

I’m gonna tell you. I’m gonna tell you what just happened.

I had to stop my mother from fighting off a coyote with her bare hands.

A bit of background: my mother is made of those jumbo-sized marshmallows and cream puffs and love. She is the most mom-ish mom who ever mom-ed. She compulsively bakes and coos at my dog all day and has effectively adopted all of my friends and has a very easy laugh and a pretty, round, happy face. She is one of the sweetest human beings in the history of the world.

But do not fuck with her.

Don’t. Don’t do it. She will end you. She will end you while wearing her matching pink sweater sets and a string of pearls.

Even if you’re a wild predator.

Her mom, my grandma, is from Texas and even though she’s 82, she could legitimately still body slam a 260-pound man to the floor. She was a trapeze artist in the circus. She was often left in charge of the lions and the other big cats when she was, like, eleven and she frequently beat the crap out of anyone who bothered her sisters growing up.

And my mom, despite her insistence on the contrary, inherited the “don’t-mess-with-Texas” gene.

I was driving my sister home from the airport and Mom came along. I stopped at an intersection by our house when something darted into the corner of my eye.

“Oh, my God!” I yelled. “That dog stole a goose!”

What looked like a large jackal-shaped dog ran past our car with a goose flapping in its mouth. I kind of just stared, at a loss, but my mom was losing it.

“Oh, my God!” she shrieked. “That’s not a dog–!”

“That’s a coyote!” my sister finished. “That’s a coyote!”

“I–” I began, without a road map as to where my sentence was going.

Mom started banging on my car door. I have child-proof locks in the back and–good news–they work.

“Let me out!” she yelled, slamming her hand against the window. “Let me out, I’m gonna chase it away–”

“I–no! Mom, God, I’m not going to open the door for you to fight a WILD COYOTE–”

“I CAN TAKE HIM, HE’S SCARED OF HUMANS–OPEN THE–”

“NO!!!!”

“OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!”

“No, don’t–” my sister interjected. “Don’t open–!”

My mom started banging on the lock, ready to wrestle a coyote to the ground with her bare hands to save the goose when a guy ran up and spooked the coyote, which dropped its dinner and bolted.

We were still screaming.

“I don’t–”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU OPEN THE DOOR?! THEY’RE SCARED OF HUMANS! I COULD TAKE HIM–!”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO
DO!” I all but wailed.

Mom flopped back in her seat.

“Oh, just go home!” she snapped.

She’s now alternating between kissing my dog and talking about how the guy who DID scare off the coyote was a wuss because he was scared of it.

I mean.

I know my mom grew up with frontier parents.

I wouldn’t put it past her to fight one animal in order to save another, honestly.

And yes, the coyote was probably scared of humans.

But I legitimately just had to barricade my mother inside my car to stop her from wrestling with a wild predator.

My cupcake-baking, giggly, sugar-and-cotton-stuffed mother was SLAMMING INTO MY DOOR so she could PRY A GOOSE out from the jaws of a WILD COYOTE.

……..It’s pretty metal.

I love Sunbeam! She was the first G1 pony I ever found at a thrift store; at the bottom of a plastic bin full of toys. I was so thrilled to find her, even though she was well loved! My Sunbeam has the letters “APL” written in pink highlighter on her shoulder, and her yellow streaks and glittery cutie mark have almost completely faded away. She’s the grandma of my herd, and one of my favorites!

my grandma has no damn time for clickbait we’re sitting in my car and shes reading facebook posts like “ all of your breakfast favorites rolled into one? i dont think so i dont have any breakfast favorites” like yaaas grandma screw that buzzfeed article

I.
They said “We gotta talk to the 30%
of Latino voters who went Red” -
As if we are all the same. As if
my grandma from Texas who has a 6th grade education is the same as the white
Cuban immigrants in Miami. As if
they are the same as the Dominicans
cooped away in their tiny New York
Apartments.

II.
When I apply for jobs, or apply to colleges,
or register to vote there are two boxes:
They read:
“Are you Hispanic or Latino?”
and then:
“Please check your race.”
As if they’re not the same.

III.
They wanted the Latino vote
but which one?
The families who were working the labores
until one of them finally graduated
high school?
The ones who are still there?
The ones whose grandparents owned
plantations in Central America but their
last name is Garcia?

They are not the same.

—  K.M.
5

okay but have you considered little old lady fanclub

(because if there’s one thing conversations with my grandma and her crew at the old folk’s home has made clear to me it is that polite young people with nice arses are a desirable commodity at all ages)

youtube

i watched bible black today cause i remembered that one chick has a grandma voice. a bottle of wine later this happened??? so have a badly edited clip show of my Favourite Moments

3

Crazy car lady’s house
I watched this house for a few years before I finally got to explore it. The lady who lived here actually just lived in her car and used the house more as a place to store her garbage. My grandma and aunt went exploring with me when we found out she was forced to move into town. She didn’t live in her car because she didn’t have money. She owns three properties and instead of buying a new car when hers rusted out she had the body of a matching one shipped from out east. She also tried to get my uncle to roof this house in this condition. The house was never updated after her parents passed and has no running water. She used a bucket for the bathroom( which now you can only get to from the ladder). I find this lady so fascinating. Things in the house included a 48 star flag, multiple sets of the same shirt still in the shipping package, some of the most beautiful antiques I’ve ever seen, Victorian photos, and a wedding dress.

So, this didn’t happen at my school, but I heard it second hand from my grandma who teaches junior high. 

This girl shows up one day with a really low cut top, and my grandma is like whatever, who cares. Then about 20 minutes into class she sees a boy with his hands down his pants. 

She starts yelling at him and tells him to go to the office, kid pretends he wasn’t doing anything wrong and she has to grab him by the arm and physically take him to the office. (She rarely has to do this. My grandma is a BAMF. Kids are scared of my grandma.)

But this kid had apparently jacked off multiple times, because the whole way to the office jizz kept dripping out of the legs of his shorts onto the floor. The office is in the middle of school, my grandma’s class is at the end of the social studies wing. That’s a good, like, 250 feet. 250 feet of drippy jizz.

I can't seem to shut up...

But I love Moana so much….

I literally recognize some of my culture in it…

But there is one that LITERALLY touched me in the heart really really deep…

That was the part where Moana’s grandmother Tala’s ‘aumākua ( Hawaiian language meaning Guardian ancestors or ancestors ) or Nā 'aumākua ( an Ancestor that is manifested as an animal ) is the Manta Ray. when she passes… she will come back as one of them, she will become as one of them, with her ancestors. She will protect and watch over Moana where ever she goes.

And when grandma Tala passed away and manifested into her Nā 'aumākua… guiding and protecting Moana as she crosses the edge of the tides…

That one scene literally touch my heart…

I couldn’t say this enough! Moana is a Polynesian Princess! And this is the FIRST time that Disney has put so much love, effort, and time into this film. It is entertainment, yes, but I seriously recognize ALL of the cultures within this movie, including my Hawaiian culture! I am just… this movie is WORTH watching twice maybe not but watch a BILLION times!!! I love it so much.

This movie still touches my heart in a cultural way. It still makes me cry tears of joy and appreciate for my culture.

Tidbits from SJMaas's Fenton Booksigning

*This evening was GREAT! Sarah is so charming and charismatic in person and has the sillies laugh in the world! Here are some things she said and talked about:

*Quote of the night (in reference to being nervous her grandma reading about the three day sex session in ACOMAF):
“Apparently my grandma’s cool with the smut.” In fact, her grandma said that the graphic erotica was right up her alley!

*Chaol was going to be named Chaos but it was too much like Final Fantasy. He also has a much more difficult last name that even Sarah had a hard time pronouncing so her editor made her change it.

*If she had to be bound by a blood oath to one of her characters, she’d choose Rhys from ACOTAR and Manon from TOG. She said Manon would probably be a cruel mistress and that she (Sarah) would probably be kicked out or not qualify for the 13 and be shoved into the coven that does everyone’s cooking.

*She is a huge fan of Batman and Gotham so she’s super excited to write Cat Woman, who is huge feminist icon for her. It should come out August 2018. To get the gig, she was asked for 3-4 pg synopsis of what she’d write about and she sent in a 22 page synopsis bc of how excited she was.

*ACOTAR is still a trilogy, the Feysand arc will be done in book 3. New book information is super secret. They Start coming out 2018, it’s 2 new books and a novella. They may be spinoffs or prequel, depends on who makes it through book 3 (😱), which she has already finished writing.

*She is NOT emotionally prepared to write book 6 of TOG but already has the ending and last line in mind and has for years.

*If she was Lysandra she would shape shift into “God’s finest creature, the velociraptor.” She has a stuffed one named Sarah Jr. that she sleeps with every night. If she had to shift into a character, she’d shift into Manon with the iron teeth and nails to torment people on the street. Or she’d shift into Feyre and summon wings to fly or Amren bc she scares everyone.

*She writes and edits chronologically to get into the character heads and hearts to go on the journey with them. Hof was one of the hardest books bc Aelin’s headspace was so dark and sad. She went on the journey with Aelin back to the light.

*ACOTAR and TOG don’t exist in the same planet or solar system, but the same megaverse, they’re on different planes of existence and if you opened a Wyrdgate you could cross over. She doesn’t currently have plans to connect them, but “you never know.”

*Doesn’t know how involved she’ll be in the tv show, she doesn’t have anyone in mind for the actress. It will be on Hulu. Kierra Snyder who write for the 100 will be the writer and SJM loves the show the 100. Also Anna Foerster who directed the wedding episode and other great episodes of Outlander will be the director. Sarah is excited about how many women are involved, she is all about female empowerment!

*Had fun writing EOS bc so much paid off from all of the little ties she’d been putting into precious books, but on an emotional level, HoF she is proudest of bc of the hard journey both her and Aelin went through. She loves all books bc reads them so much during the writing and editing process.

*Also, the original cover of ToG, the one most people hate, called it the “cheerleader barbie” cover and was so happy they changed it!


She said a lot of the cool stuff too and I got to sign a copy of her first book that she brings with her to her events to have her audience sign. She is so amazing!

2

This woman right here. This is my grandmother. Ginny. I was extremely close with her, she is the one that got me started on my magickal path, at a very young age. She died when I was six. But she has been yhe inspiration for so many of my life choices and I wish we had had more time together.

Today is her birthday. And I want to do something to honor her but i’m stuck at work all night so this is all I can really do for now. I might light a candle for her when I get home.
She is my witch-spiration. And i’m really curious about my fellow witches in this community. Who has inspired you and your path?

9

Here’s my final for my character design class (2016)! I managed to crank this out in under 2 weeks and I’m pretty happy with it. I was really trying to push shapes and design more in this project and I looked at Okami and Ni No Kuni for reference.

In this thrilling non existent RPG, you play as Grandma Mao (G-Mao) who goes on her first adventure at 87 years old!

A lot my friends are graduating and many are worried about not having a job right out of college. Our animation club (PMC) has brought it in A TON of amazing speakers from all over the industry. They’re all really inspiring and each story is different. I always feel inspired by the ones who got started much later in their life but managed to break in with a lot of hard work. They show that it’s never too late to do what you love (though it might be harder) and I really wanted to capture that with G-Mao.

So what’re you waiting for?
GET OUT THERE!