my god you should be illegal

  • other reality cooking shows: TEN ASSHOLES in a room, all of them PUMPED UP on CRYSTAL METH and THIRSTY for HUMAN BLOOD. we’re gonna SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROY their self-esteem until one of them LOSES IT, throws HOT FAT in another one’s FACE and DISFIGURES THEM FOR LIFE. you are GUARANTEED to DIE of second hand anxiety
  • me: *yawns* that was ok i guess. a nice relaxing watch before bed
  • the great british bake off: we are going to find the twelve most adorable people in the uk and politely request them to whip up some of britain’s favourite sweet treats. they will talk in soft voices, make self-deprecating jokes, and emotionally support one another. an elderly lady and her middle-class henchman are going to sample their bakes and offer gentle feedback.
  • me: oh my GOD are you trying to KILL me I CAN’T HANDLE THIS my HEART’s exploding this should be ILLEGAL @bbc TONE IT THE FUCK DOWN
Find your dialogue prompt!

A: The first letter of your first name!

B: Your birthday!

  • A: “Can I help you?”
  • B: “Be gentle.”
  • C: “Help me find my scarf!”
  • D: “What happened to your arm?”
  • E: “What the hell happened here?!”
  • F: “How are you feeling?”
  • G: “Well, this is interesting! Did you know-”
  • H: “I just thought of a world without puppies and got really sad.”
  • I: “I love you.”
  • J: “Please kill me.”
  • K: “Want to know how I got these scars?”
  • L: “On go, we’re going to run, okay?”
  • M: “Help me.”
  • N: “Did you hear that?”
  • O: “Kiss me.”
  • P: “What’s your favorite sin?”
  • Q: “Does God ever say ‘Oh my God’?”
  • R: “We’re stuck in a maze!”
  • S: “So, today I was thinking we should-”
  • T: “Did you just murder someone?!”
  • U: “Code Yellow, I repeat code yellow!”
  • V: “I want to show you something.”
  • W: “Can we cuddle?”
  • X: “Do you want to talk about your childhood?”
  • Y: “Who wants to die today?“
  • Z: "I am the hero this city needs!”

  1. “Oh, I saw a spider”
  2. “You shouldn’t have had that sixth cup of coffee.”
  3. “Speaking of that, I just got laid.”
  4. “That should be illegal.”
  5. “High School Musical.”
  6. “Speaking of gay, I’m gonna go do some gay stuff right now.”
  7. “Unrealistic.”
  8. “I hope you outlast your relatives.”
  9. “Easy, psycho.”
  10. “I won!”
  11. “I’m confused, as usual.”
  12. “I volunteer as tribute.”
  13. “It’s magic!”
  14. “Dang, I was so close…”
  15. “I have a headache.”
  16. “I love being left alone.”
  17. “Can I kiss you?”
  18. Please, tell me more.”
  19. “Stay quiet!”
  20. “Oh maaaaan, sounds amazing, who can resist!”
  21. “That’s so gay.”
  22. “This is all your fault.”
  23. “Are you okay?”
  24. “No.”
  25. “A badly timed joke?”
  26. “I want to leave.”
  27. “5 more minutes.”
  28. “I’m calling the police!”
  29. “Queue the music.”
  30. “Stop following me!”
  31. “We’re all going to die.”

(if you get something confusing, then try to explain it, BAM, you’re writing)

Wonho Smile Appreciation

(credit goes to the people who own these gifs and pictures)

can we all just take a hot second to appreciate Wonho’s smile. okok.

it is literally my favourite thing about him

like, damn boiii you shine so damn bright

it’s quite spectacular, isn’t it?

just look at him. are you seeing this?!!?

i’m honestly suing because he should be illegal.

god, i feel blessed.

what did this cruel world do to deserve such a thing…

so cute but sexy at the same time T-T

alright i’m out. i’m done. i’m deceased.

i’m certain this boy enjoys watching us suffer so..

adios amigos.

if you have any requests for other appreciation posts or you have ideas for fanfics/smuts, then my requests are open <3

anonymous asked:

Uknown saeran having a dream about mc riding dat hot topic reject dick and being horribly pissed and aroused when waking up ;9

I love how my friends phrase things…

You were moaning his name. Not anyone else’s. Not that stupid actor, that rich man, that kid- His name, and god did it sound heavenly rolling off your tongue. His nails dug into your thighs, smirking when your breath hitched and your hips stuttered a bit with their pace. 

“Too much, angel? Can’t handle a little pain?”

You couldn’t respond, just tried slamming yourself down on his cock, your hands balling into fists against his chest. God, you felt so fucking good- He gripped your hips harshly, snapping his hips up to meet yours unexpectantly.

“Sssaeran! God, yes!”

“I’m going to make you addicted to my cock, babe-”

A shrill alarm woke him up from his slumped over position at his desk. Slowly, he groaned and picked his head off his numbed arm, scowling at his phone as it vibrated. A clock and a message, ‘Get the fuck up’, was shining on the screen, and he threw himself against his computer chair.

Rubbing his face, he glanced at the monitor displaying a live feed to the apartment- You resting on the couch in shorts that should be illegal, and a comfy oversized shirt. If he couldn’t see the little bit of black peeking out from that shirt, he would have sworn that you didn’t even have anything else on.

Realizing how stiff he felt, how sore his cock was, he let out another annoyed sound. Of course, the first time in a while he gets a sex dream he enjoys, it had to be you.

He wasn’t going to admit that you were cute- That you prancing around in nearly nothing was making him take longer showers. Making him unable to sleep properly. That he woke up with his hand in his sweats more often than he cared for.

He pushed himself away from his desk with a huff, getting up from the chair and almost stomping to the bathroom. He wanted a cold shower, prefered a cold shower, but he knew damn well he was going to end up jerking his frustrations away.

mexicanmedstudent  asked:

Trimberly prompt: Each time Kimberly smiles at Trini, the latter trips or breaks something. Please :)

Trini was fine having Biology with Kim. What she was not fine with was getting put into the same Chemistry class as Kim the next semester.

Kim insists that they be partners, and Trini swears that one of these days, when mixing some dangerous chemicals something is going to go terribly wrong if Kim keeps smiling at her and touching the inside of her wrist.

Trini’s halfway through a lab with Kim patiently reading out the directions as Trini grabs a beaker, and some liquid that their teacher warned them to be careful with.

“Hey, wait a second,” Kim tells Trini just as she’s about to pour the liquid into the beaker, “Don’t forget your safety goggles.” Kim says with a smile as she pulls them over Trini’s eyes gently.

Trini can feel her face heat up instantly, and she nods dumbly as she stutters out a small thank you. She manages to pour the amount of liquid they need successfully.

Kim smiles at her again, and oh my god, Trini knocks the beaker off their table and her goggles are splattered in liquid.

Kimberly just laughs, a sound that should be illegal (only because it makes Trini want to do something ridiculously stupid everyday) and as Trini fumbles to pick up the shards of glass, she hits her head on another table, knocking over the beaker that was on that table.

Once Kimberly calms down enough to help Trini clean, she just gives Trini another smile as she says, “It’s a good thing you still had your goggles on, huh?”

Trini’s just thankful that she didn’t do anything stupid for a third time in the span of five minutes, like cut her hand on one of the shards of glass.

(She misses notes in her last two classes of the day because all she can think about is the way Kim smiles at her)

That was only one example but Trini totally runs into an open locker one day in the halls as Kim laughs at one of her jokes

female reproductive autonomy is an urgent political issue.  demanding that autonomy is not “oppressive” or “exclusionary” or somehow harmful to people who will never have to panic over a missed period, never have to risk an unsafe illegal abortion, never have to know the pain, fear, & shame of being told that your body is not your own, just a means to a reproductive end.

how dare you.  how dare you mock “cis women” for being concerned about abortion.  how deluded are you to believe that being born a member of the female sex (& not disowning that femaleness) is a privilege.  god, i hope one day you feel all the shame you should feel today

Leading Suspects - Chapter 2

Chapter 1 can be found here


“Unf,” I grunt as I startle awake, arms flailing as I try to catch myself before falling out of my chair. Blinking and rubbing the shitty sleep from my eyes, I stand out of my chair a little so I can check on Madge. She’s still fast asleep, facing the wall, her beautiful face bruised. I know from what the nurses told me when I arrived that the worst of the bruises on her face rests over a cracked cheekbone, and that they extend down her torso over her ribs, one of which is also cracked.

Keep reading


Love in Bloom Fanfic Scene commission for @thattachibooty

Oh my god. How are they this cute and Makoto in a Hello Kitty apron should be illegal at one point.(/。\) Yeah, Haru. Go touch that arm like nbd.

BTS as things my father has said:
  • Namjoon: this may be the third day in a row we've gotten chilli's for dinner but i don't hear any of you complaining
  • Seokjin: *someone calls his daughter pretty* thanks. oh you meant her?
  • Hoseok: *laughing hysterically at viral cat videos from 2010*
  • Yoongi: *teaches own children how to illegally download music*
  • Taehyung: guys. oh my god. there's a frog in the garage.
  • Jimin: do not make me dance mediocre ballet in the middle of this JC Penney i WILL do it
  • Jungkook: *almost bursts a blood vessel trying to carry 12 bags of groceries in one trip*
  • Psychic: *reads mind*
  • My mind: Hey run-buns~ TEAM MOM! Shinji was a bitch ass poser! Ay yo! Homeboy looks like sharkweek, I ain't mess'n with that. I'm naked? I hate it when you leave, but I love watch'n you go~ Swim team noth'n I want that boy to be my bride! Oh my god, look at him run! Oh, it should be illegal to be that fine~ Bitch you goin' to be mine~ BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCK'N EVERYWHERE!
  • Psychic: WTF?

robotic-angel  asked:

1+4 killugon!! >u<

1. chocolate;  4. irresistible

For something that I wasn’t so sure about before I sat down, I had a ton of fun writing this haha XD Thank you for the request! I hope you like it~

Aged up killugon, canon universe!

(I have a few more requests left, I’ll try to get them done by today but if not I’ll definitely finish them tomorrow! So sorry for the wait ^^;)

Killua moaned as the first bite hit his tongue. “Oh my god. That should be illegal.”

Their table shook with Gon’s tiny huff of laughter. “Y’know, Killua, I don’t think I know anyone who likes chocolate as much as you do.”

“You don’t,” Killua said, keeping his blue eyes on his prize: a triple chocolate ice cream special, complete with mini pieces of brownie and dark chocolate chips, drizzled with the perfect amount of hot fudge. His mouth watered just looking at the thing.

If Killua died right now, he would be okay with that.

“Heh, probably. You just really, really like chocolate.” Gon had his chin resting on his folded arms. Killua didn’t spare the time to glance at the other male, already knowing that Gon was watching him with a mixture of amusement, fondness and bafflement.

Gon didn’t love chocolate like Killua did. He didn’t get chocolate, like Killua got chocolate. It was a sad state to be in, Killua reflected ruefully, and he mourned Gon’s lack of understanding on a daily basis. 

Killua carefully positioned his spoon to pick out a nicely sized brownie piece as Gon continued thoughtfully, “Sometimes I actually think you like chocolate more than anything else in the entire world.”

“I do,” Killua said. He took a bite of the brownie and nearly melted off his chair and onto the floor. Holy shit, this thing was too good to be true. He had definitely made the right decision to drag Gon into this store.

“You can’t like chocolate more than everything in the world, Killua,” Gon chastised, a smile hidden in his tone.

“I do,” Killua said seriously.

“Hmm. So, what you’re saying is, that you like chocolate more than sleeping?”

What kind of question was that? Killua almost rolled his eyes at the absurdity of it; would he rather sleep or eat chocolate? It wasn’t even a contest!

“Chocolate is always better,” he answered around another mouthful of chocolatey goodness.

“More then playing video games?”


“More than using Nen?”


“More than me?”

Killua didn’t even hesitate: “Yes.”

Gon’s smirk dropped off his face.

“W-What?” he stammered.

Killua scraped his spoon along the edge of his bowl. “You asked if I liked chocolate more than you. And I said yes.”

Gon sat up straight. “You…you can’t be serious.”

Killua paused, spoon halfway to his lips, and turned to look Gon dead in the eye.

“I. Am.” He then viciously shoved more chocolate into his mouth.

The look of sheer horror in Gon’s expression was so funny that Killua almost had to spit out that same spoonful to keep himself from choking.

“But! But you can’t!” Gon sputtered out. “I’m- we’re dating, Killua! I’m way better then some sweet!”

Some sweet?! 

Killua slowly set down his spoon. “Okay. Since you clearly do not understand what’s going on here, I’ll be generous and explain it to you. Here are the pros of chocolate: one-” Killua held up a finger, “- I’ve liked chocolate since the age of two, which is several years longer than I’ve known you.”

Gon gaped. “That’s silly! You’re not in a relationship with chocolate, Kil-”

“Two!” Killua snapped loudly. “The smell of chocolate is the smell of the heavens. You, on the other hand, do not smell like anything most of the time except for mud and sweat after you spend all day running around in the wilderness!”

“You do that too!”

“Three: chocolate comes in many ways, and no form is superior than others-”

“Killua,” Gon said lowly, leaning in close. “I can come any way you want, too. I can promise you that.”

Killua jerked away, heat rushing to his cheeks so fast his vision swam.

Did Gon seriously just say that?!

“F-Four,” Killua stuttered, trying and failing to ignore the effect Gon’s words had on him. Damnit, his whole face felt like it was on fire. “Chocolate tastes better then you do.”

Gon tilted his head to one side. “You sure about that?”

Killua gritted his teeth.


“Hm.” Gon reached out and Killua froze as Gon’s warm fingers grasped his chin.

“I guess I’ll have to convince you otherwise then, huh?” Gon smiled slightly, brushing his thumb across Killua’s bottom lip and smearing some of the leftover chocolate there. “I can’t have my boyfriend liking something more than me. Even if that something is chocolate.”

Killua stayed still, completely paralyzed. He couldn’t think straight when Gon gazed at him like that, when Gon’s hand was on his face, lingering over his mouth. It made his chest tight and his heart leap into overdrive.

Because as much as he went on about how much he adored chocolate with every fiber of his being, Killua knew that Gon had at least one thing on par with Killua’s favorite dessert:

They were both irresistible.

  • Izuku: *breathes*
  • Katsuki: fucking amazing. hella fine. this should be illegal dammit. who the fuck do you think you fucking are? a god among shitty ass mortals istg.

anonymous asked:

I don't know if this qualifies as a question but I'm really confused so I would like your opinion I haven't studied the Bible much, (I know I should, and I am trying very hard) but I read quotes and research/read online when I get the chance, and I know abortion is wrong, and I think it is wrong as well, but I don't think it should be illegal, because God gave us free will, right? Is it okay to say that I think this? Same goes for same gender marriage.

“Part (2) I know it is wrong and I believe it is unnatural but I don’t think it should be illegal. Or is that like saying I know murder is wrong but I don’t think it should be illegal?”

Hi friend,

Honesty time: I used to think that both of these things were okay. Then, I began reading the Bible. And I began growing closer to God. I asked Him to change my heart. I asked Him constantly to change my heart. 

And then one day I found myself leaning. Changing. I wasn’t sure if I thought these things were okay any longer; however, I thought that they should be still be legal because, like you said, God gave us free will. 

I kept reading. I kept praying. I kept asking Him to help change my heart and to grant me the wisdom to understand His word and His will. 

Now, I think of it in the terms you listed last: murder is wrong, and it is illegal; however, people still have free will and choose to commit this crime and sin. Making things illegal isn’t going to stop people from doing them, but it does help hinder. And it does help draw a line, if that makes sense. 

More than focusing on politics and what should or shouldn’t be illegal, though, we should keep our focus on Him and on our fellow men and women and why they are making these decisions. We should love. We should lead others to Him. We should share the gospel and live a life that is pleasing to Him and share His light. 

(For some more reading, here is an article on abortion and murder and what the Bible says about it all.)

All my love,


50%  Off  {Sentence Starters}
{ contains nsfw & triggers }

  • “They’re my ostriches!“
  • “Oh my god, he’s got a gun!”
  • “We’re not going to kill anyone.”
  • “WHAT is WRoNG wITh YoU?”
  • “That doesn’t sound fun at all…”
  • “Ooooh, that’s probably not good.”
  • “I wasn’t thinking about killing you.”
  • “SSSHH! I smell boys being gay…”  
  • “Aw, it should be illegal to be that fine!”
  • “Awesome! Wait, what just happened?”
  • “How’s your repressed love life doing?”
  • “How much of that stuff did you have?!”
  • “You know what I’m sick of?! All your shit!”
  • “Yeah it’s probably too cold. We’ll get sick.”
  • “I’m not going out there without a parachute!”
  • “Okay I’m gonna break in! Don’t be naked.”
  • “I like him in those positions… of leadership.”
  • “If you get scared, you can squeeze my hand.”
  • “They hate each other, but they also fuck each other!”
  • “Man. This place sure brings back memories for me.”
  • “I assure you all that I will not embarrass myself like last time.”
  • “I always thought swimming was kinda like doing somebody.”
  • “Okay I’m coming in. Also you’re gonna need a new backdoor.”
  • “Why’s he touching my man? Where’s he going with my man!?”
  • “Come on, let me get them digits, baby! Let’s make this a thang!”

anonymous asked:

Everyone seeing Percy in a tux and just being like: did you get hotter??? How is that possible???

percy in a tux is something i need in my life

  • percy doing a bad james bond impersonation
  • percy cutting a damn fine figure in those tailored trousers and that jacket omg 
  • annabeth grabbing him by the lapels and pressing him against the wall to make out because gods it should be illegal to look that good
  • percy coming back with his little shirt tails hanging out and his hair a bit ruffled which just makes him look hotter

percy jackson in a tux. yes.

anonymous asked:

Do you like Newton Scamander?

Sweet Merlin, no. He has to be the most aggravating and frustrating man I’ve ever met. He literally wrote a book on how to keep illegal beasts, including how to hide them from authorities. He continues to enter this country with illegal beasts in that god damn suitcase of his. Someone should lock him up. In handcuffs. In a jail cell. In my jail cell.

Originally posted by gravesfrommacusa

He is a little cute. In an annoying way. In a ‘he needs a spanking’ kinda way. Over my knee. Or my desk. 

Merlin, why am I telling you this? NO I hate Newt. If you see him, tell him I’m going to arrest him for being a distraction to the head of Magical Security. 

Kiss My Lips You Fool 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader

A/N: You guys liked that? Well, that was more than I could have ever bargained for and my brain can’t handle all the love. So here’s your part two… It’s a little shorter, but it’s the build up to better things.

Warnings: Minor angst. Arguing? Dean being a big teddy bear. And that Reader, she’s an independent feisty thing. Language, but that should be a given. No smutty goodness in this part…just the slow burn.

Word Count: 2,786

Tags: @sometimes-iwritee @unadulteratedstorycollector @callmesweetheartifyoumeanit  @marenbrowwn @abby-ackles @aedwards4102 @mariatriestowrite

Part One

Bolded=texts or notes


Morning came, and although you hadn’t figured anything out, you still smiled as the morning sun streamed through the cracks in your curtains. Your smile grew as you heard Dean’s door open and shut, and you snuggled deeper under the covers, semi grateful you didn’t have to be up anytime soon.

A couple hours later, you had decided to finally get going on your day and got ready to go for a run before going to the management office to see if you could talk them into an extension. You weren’t above begging for anything.

You opened up your front door a piece of paper fell to the ground. Hoping this wasn’t more bad news you picked it up and unfolded it. In gorgeous all caps handwriting was written:

“Hope your day is good, text me later. I might be able to get away from the garage for lunch if you’re up for it.”

Dean’s number was scrawled underneath the note and you grinned like a fool as you walked down to the small weight room.

Thank you for your note. I’d love to do lunch, just let me know a time and place.

Hitting send you popped in your headphones, energized to work off some of the built up stress from the last 24 hours.

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