my god i can't bear it

Fort Briggs memes pt 2
  • breaking an icicle off the ceiling to put in your mug to cool your coffee when it’s too hot
  • “You think you’re cool. You’re just room temperature”
  • it has been ‘x’ days since our last bear encounter on patrol
  • how many soldiers can you cram into a single briggs coat
  • ‘ice soup’
  • “It’s blazing in here!”
    “It’s thirty degrees, Paul…”
  • “Is it a bear or Captain Buccaneer?”
  • North City: cold
    Briggs: fuckin’ cold
  • “I spy with my little eye, something that is-”
    “I swear to god, if you say white I will feed you to the wolves”
  • a campaign to take the most ridiculous photo you possibly can while Olivier’s back is turned
  • “You think the Major General’s got skeletons in her closet?”
    “No, but I bet she’s got one buried under concrete somewhere”
    “What?”
    “What”

anonymous asked:

ok but what if something really cheesy happens like the galra IS keiths sister and remembers him but he doesn't and she ends up saving him but turning on lotorr cos she can't bear to see him get hurt .... id DIE

oh my god……. what if the reason keith does this

is because he finds out she’s his sister at her lasts moments after saving him from lotor? lotor finishes her off and her lasts words are something like “mom would’ve been proud of you… brother"

anonymous asked:

Captain underpants being really flirty when seperated from Krupp and flirting with Krupp at school gets Krupp even more flustered so he can't even speak a word, p.s make Captain call him at least once Benny, ahhh of Benny Bear, that'd be so cute, thank you!!!! 💓💓💓

WORDS CAN NOT DESCRIBE ON HOW MUCH I LOVE “BENNY-BEAR” LIKE OH MY GOD 

krupp gets flustered very easily and any interest shown towards him in any flirty way if he gets any more red he would probably start melting 

2

i was tagged by @pattonscardigan to post selfies and while i am Ugli ill do it anyways. heres some photos of me halfway between a mario kart online tournament ft. my richmond scarf bc i’m still so shook that dustin martin is actually god

i tag anyone who wants to do it (i know that’s lazy af but most of my mutuals in the ts fandom have already been tagged)!

ok to rb, i use he/him and ze/hir pronouns btw!

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Alright then, picture this if you will:
  • 10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51.
  • Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this.
  • Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping...
  • Holy fucking shit!
  • Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa,
  • did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
  • So light in his way,
  • Like an apparition,
  • He had me crying out,
  • "Fuck me,
  • It's gotta be,
  • Deadhead Chemistry,
  • The blotter got right on top of me,
  • Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
  • And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
  • He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
  • Me. The Chosen One?
  • They chose me!!!
  • And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.
  • You better.
  • You better.
  • You better.
  • You better listen.
  • When he looked right through me
  • With somniferous almond eyes.
  • Don't even know what that means
  • Must remember to write it down.
  • This is so real.
  • Like the time he floated away.
  • See my heart is pounding,
  • 'Cause this shit never happens to me.
  • Can't breathe, right now!
  • It was so real.
  • Like I woke up in Wonderland.
  • All sort of terrifying.
  • And I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story.
  • And can anyone tell me why
  • you all sound like Peanut's parents
  • Will I ever be coming down?
  • This is so real.
  • Finally it's my lucky day.
  • See my heart is racing,
  • 'Cause this shit never happens to me.
  • Can't breathe, right now!
  • You believe me, don't you?
  • Please believe what I just said, see they're telling true.
  • And this wasn't all in my head.
  • See they took me by the hand and invited me right in,
  • Then they showed me something.
  • I don't even know where to begin.
  • STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
  • I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
  • CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
  • GOD DAMN. SHIT THE BED!
  • (high... I I I I I... high... I I I I I)
  • (high)
  • Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
  • Such a heavy burden now to be the one.
  • Born to bear and read to all
  • The details of our ending.
  • To write it down for all the world to see.
  • But I forgot my pen,
  • Shit the bed again,
  • Typical.
  • STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
  • I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
  • SUNKIST AND SUDAFED, GYROSCOPES AND INFRARED.
  • WON'T HELP, BRAIN DEAD.
  • CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
  • GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!
  • I...!!!
  • CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME.
  • CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE A HERO!!!
  • Can't remember what they said.
  • OH NO, HELP NOW.
  • Can't remember what they said.
  • DON'T KNOW.
  • WON'T KNOW.
  • GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!
Mme Bustier's Class as Things my Friends and I Have Said p3
  • Marinette: "high school is just jail. look, we're surrounded by bars, for god's sake!"
  • Alya: "that wasn't a pat on the back, that was a slap on the arse!"
  • Adrien: "I did the brothel!... I don't know what brothel means."
  • Nino: "I am just a small innocent child. please pay for college."
  • Nathaniel: "sorry? I can't hear or see you past your fucking ego."
  • Alix: "the answer is fifty six over fuck you"
  • Kim: "get your head out of that bear's arse!"
  • Max: "the game is MEANT to be offensive!"
  • Rose: "the set of all possible outcomes are very possible. that's your answer."
  • Juleka: "I will sell you to satan for one pringle."
  • Ivan: "find the value of 24n if y is equal to... it doesn't say what y is equal to!"
  • Mylene: "I think I'm popcorn magnetic."
  • Chloe: "my skills include kicking and hating myself so much that it starts to affect my views of others. oh yeah, and flirting."
  • Sabrina: "remember kids, road safety's a myth and the government is run by lizard people"
  • Lila: "give up, give in, now give me what I want. and yes, I did just quote the Vampire Diaries."
  • Mme Bustier: "is this the point where I give up on everything and accept that my life will always be full of idiots?"

anonymous asked:

I cannot get the image of drunk Bitty out of my head, who is loudly worrying that he's a bad kisser because he's never kissed anyone before, and Shitty, Ransom, and Holster (who are also very drunk) volunteering to help him practice. And Bitty, being in an inebriated state, thinks this is a great idea. So Bitty gets passed around for kissing practice and Jack is seethes in a corner til he can't take it anymore and kisses Bitty himself.

Well gee thanks, now neither can I. This might not be exactly what you wanted, but it’s what I’ve got so bear with me. and oh god this is so fluffy, I’m so sorry. Actually, no, not at all. I am not the least bit sorry. 


Bitty has never really been drunk before. He can’t think of a safer place to be drunk for the first time than in the company of Shitty, Ransom, and Holster, all of whom he trusts with his life. He knows they’ve all been smoking pot, but they stopped offering him some after the very first time he said no, which he appreciates.

The problem is, Bitty doesn’t know what kind of drunk he’s going to be. Is he going to be belligerent like his dad, is he going to be bitter like his Aunt Sharon, is he going to be giggly like his mom?

He discovers around midnight that he’s an emotional drunk. He can hope that this will change as he gets older, but a nagging voice in the back of his head says that seems unlikely.

It’s also around midnight that he realises, to his dismay, that Jack is in the room as well. Bitty takes one look at him before pressing his face into Shitty’s shoulder so that Jack can’t see him this way. It makes sense to his alcohol infused brain.

“What’s up, buttercup?” Shitty asks, kissing the top of Bitty’s head the way Shitty tends to do.

“I just – Shitty it’s so bad,” Bitty says, covering the side of his face so that Jack can’t see any part of his expression. “I mean, like, it’s so bad.”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific Bits,” Shitty says.

“If I liked an older guy and if we ever got to the point of doing things, then I’d have to tell him, you know?” Bitty says.

“No,” Shitty says. “I – I don’t know. What would you have to tell him? Because I’m pretty sure that by the point you got to doing things he’d already know that you were into dudes.”

“No, I’d have to tell him I’ve never even kissed anyone,” Bitty says. He says this louder than he means to; Ransom and Holster stop staring at their Golden Girls marathon and turn to stare at Bitty instead while he flushes bright red. Bitty doesn’t mean to look at Jack, but he does. Jack, not sitting on the couch with them, is very dedicatedly studying the label on his bottle of some obscure Canadian beer Bitty has never heard of.

“Bits,” Holster says, his eyes going misty behind his glasses. “Bits I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell us? We could’ve fixed you up in seconds–”

“Half a second–” Ransom interrupts.

“Half a second,” Holster agrees. “I mean, fuck bruh, we could’ve helped you ourselves.”

“What,” Bitty says because suddenly Holster is kneeling in front of his part of the couch, which conveniently brings the very giant defence man up to Bitty’s face level.

“Eric Bittle, may I kiss you?” Holster asks.

Bitty giggles and nods, and Holster leans forward, pressing his lips to Bitty’s. He needs to shave and Bitty gets stabbed in the jaw by his stubble, and Holster’s glasses accidentally touch Bitty’s nose, at which point Holster retracts from the kiss in order to spend more time staring in despair at his lenses. Bitty giggles out an apology.

Keep reading

Reapertale!Gaster belongs to @renrink

I hope it looks good enough…

I’m about to cry oh my god why am I so unlucky I mean what did I actually do to deserve this?

So, I had this whole thing written out. Entirely written out, all the terrible jokes, all the explanations no one wants to hear, all of it. It was long, and mostly interesting, and even had a gif at the end, like I never do that, that’s how into it I was. Then, I left it for three seconds to quickly check if I spelled ‘repression’ correctly, and I had, and then I went back and for some reason it was just gone! Gone! GONE! Why are even the simplest tasks so difficult for me to do?

Anyway, ehm, even though this story isn’t told through Rarity’s perspective, it’s narrative is still mostly driven by her scrapbook, which at first mostly contains almost stalkerish pictures of Applejack but eventually leads into the school year, which is the duration of time this story tells or whatever.

The basic storyline is this: Twilight Sparkle, a junior reporter attending Ponyville High begins her school year by delving into Ponyville’s unassuming history in order to figure out the cause of all the magical mishaps happening in Ponyville and how new girl Sunset Shimmer ties in with it all. Her photographer, Rarity Belle, struggles to cope when her mother’s old process camera begins to capture shadows, strange figures and feints of light that aren’t there, while also very awkwardly wooing her romantically oblivious crush, Applejack. Pinkie Pie, resident class clown and conspiracy theorist, attempts to get the attention of Twilight through numerous acts of love, but they ultimately end in misfortune and mess up her investigation. Fluttershy Breeze, an amateur voodoo practicer, keeps getting prophetic nightmares about her classmates, and, more specifically, her best friend Rainbow Dash, whom she had begun developing feelings for. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash really begins to feel the burn of popularity when her boyfriend, Soarin, and the football team start getting in the way of her friendship with Fluttershy, and with her younger adoptive sister Scootaloo suddenly hospitalised and her parents divorcing, begins to emotionally distance herself from her friends and family. Applejack Smith begins suffering with paranoia and anxiety when touching people leads to them acting on their more sadistic and honest desires, which only gets worse when she begins to do the same with the people she cares about. Eventually it all leads them to the same place; the Everfree forest, where they discover they are connected to both each other and the forest in more ways than one…

Real quick apology to @feellikeaplat because I accidentally gave my Twilight your Twilight’s hair. I swear it was an accident I didn’t even notice until the drawing was finished and I was casually stalking your page and it was too late to change it.

And now also a huge shoutout to my boy @slendyanswers who has been endlessly patient with me and has helped me with many parts of this storyline, which he will be credited for more specifically when they show up! Also, public apology to him too, I know I suck at keeping up conversations and I know I can get weirdly distant and stuff but it’s just I get really nervous when I text people sometimes and I’ve been really busy lately. When I get the time I will absolutely send you a hello or whatever, thanks for being so cool about my terrible social skills.

In other news, I went to see Wonder Woman today and it was AMAZING and everyone should watch it. At the end she does this like care bear stare thing and it’s really cool. Yup yup yup.

Originally posted by oathkeeper-of-tarth

2Ps reactting to: S/O proposing to them (Axis)
  • 2p Italy: How adorable, huh? *smirks* I accept, but we have to use the diamond rings that I already bought or no deal, Bella~
  • 2p Germany: Are you really proposing to me baby?? Really, really, no jokes? OMG this is so different that the usual, I loved! *bear hug* B-u-t now I will plan the honeymooon heheh~
  • 2p Japan: This is sure... unexpected, but I can't say that you are not a surprising person. Proposing to you was already in my to do plans, but since you already took care of this obligation... *holds her chin* I can do other things. Any suggestions, my love?
  • 2p Austria: OH MY GOD I AM SO AMAZING YOU ARE SO AMAZING I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS I KNOW I KNOW IS CAUSE I AM SO MESMERIZING YOU CAN'T STAY AWAY OF ME, CAN YOU?? OF COURSE I SAY YES YES YES!!! *Makes a scene*
  • 2p Prussia: *blushing* Are you sure? Someone as amazing as you wants to marry someone like me? Well... Of course I accept, and I'll do everything to make you happy *cute af smile*
  • 2p South Italy: OMG look at this ring, I can see how much you love me in this thing, honeypie! Let's go have a nice dinner and tell everyone that the best couple ever is getting official!!

[IT IS 1X11! LUCY PRESTON HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A GARBAGEMAN, WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO!]

flynn: lucy, you are expendable, we’re not going to do great things after all, are we, WHY DON’T YOU THINK I MIGHT KILL YOU

also flynn: (absolute heart eyes and goony smiles to self when lucy is on stage with houdini, takes her on a coffee date so he can expound on his Garbage Plans™ and promptly ignore her trying to persuade him to be 12% less terrible, buys her fancy dress that goes with his suit, calls her “honey” pretending he’s arguing with his wife, grudgingly admires when she outwits him with houdini)

flynn: still totally might kill you THOUGH!1!11!1

[CUT TO! 1X14 WHEN LUCY’S TECHNICALLY BEEN “KIDNAPPED” BY THE BAD NEWS BEARS AGAIN!]

lucy: yo, trash husband, order your minion to unhand me

flynn: minion, unhand the wife, she is not a prisoner

lucy: now let me talk to charles lindbergh and also do not kill him

flynn: ok honey

karl (in corner): oh my god

(this is for you @extasiswings​ so we can mutually regret our piss poor yet also somehow amazing stanning/shipping choices)

Barry and Ice Bear

Yana: “I think he has a crush.”

Everyone else: Aw, I totally ship Yana with Ice Bear after this.

Me: (cackling like a hyena on high) WAHAHAHA! Oh my god, did she really just make that joke? I feel like the Barry/Ice Bear ship just got validated somehow. Well, time to make more fanfiction of these two!

amariemelody  asked:

Good evening to you, love!! Headcanon: As an aside of his HYDRA training, Bucky is the BEST at finding things his wife & daughter can't. Like, his wife be like, "Honey, where's my fav lipstick?!" "On the bathroom counter." His daughter be like, "Waaah, Daddy, I can't find my teddy bear!" "Here, it's wedged in the couch cushions." :D

Oh my god I immediately thought about that trope with black moms being like “If I go in that room and I find it, Imma kick ya ass.” And I just imagined a moment where his wife is just like.

“I told you to put the comb back where you found it the last time. If I get up and this comb is exactly where I said it was, I swear to god.“

Then Bucky hears them from in the kitchen and he’s like, “Doll, you put it in your purse on Saturday remember.”

“…Oh.”

Or or or better yet… his daughter loses something really important. Like mom let her wear her earrings and she goes to Bucky like, “Daddy, Mom’s gonna kill me. I swear they were in my ears, they just fell and I dunno where they are.” Bucky’s like, say no more I got it, because he’s a big softie and he can’t stand seeing his daughter upset.

~Mod Lillian

anonymous asked:

You know, when people write Hux as being able to bear multiple children (twins/triplets/etc.) who all have the Force, I can't help but wonder how many people want to bred has Hux for themselves? Because like with the galaxy being so big I can assume either the Force isn't the only magic out there or people use in secret. And when you hear of someone who can have multiple children with ALL of them with magic, and have good qualities (intelligent and strategic) THAT becomes your next target.

Oh my god. I’m imagining Hux, post-giving birth to Kylo’s twin boys and so he’s weak, being kidnapped and sold at an auction house where he’s described as a baby factory for the next generation of magic users. They touch him, feeling his soft tummy of where his last children grew and Hux is just too tired to fight back and all he can think about are his newborn babies and Kylo back on their star Destroyer and how that’s all he wants, is to go home.

Kylo, with Mitaka and a nanny droid supervising the twins, doesn’t rest until he’s rescued Hux and brought him back to their new family.

oh my gOD “georgina and the waves” was absolutely amazing. it was so freaking hilarious, but i have to admit, the part were antigone is like “you’re not good enough, we’re not good enough!” broke my heart.

but then again,
“antigone, do you want to go to san marino?”
“i want to die”