my goalies are the shit

  • when my team pulls the goalie: THAT SHIT NEVER WORKS ARE YOU KIDDING ME
  • when the other team pulls the goalie: oh god i can't look they're gonna score in the last few seconds just end the game now.

This AU starts with bad news for both Kent Parson and Jack Zimmermann. Pictures of both of them being huh, cozy, during a HAUS party surface on the internet. It’s dark and grainy, but their faces are easily visible and Kent’s hand on Jack’s ass is even more.

At the moment the twittersphere explodes, the Falconers are playing, so Kent is accosted first, on his way home, with a bag of groceries on each hand. There are like, thirty reporters all shoving their mikes up Kent’s face and he’s tired and sore after practice and is feeling lonely and sorry for himself and let’s be honest, mentions of Jack Zimmemann and his stupid butt and times where he was able to grope said butt bring out the worse in him.

“Yeah, sure I’m gay, who wouldn’t be for the best ass in the NHL. Jack, if you want to catch up for lost time, just call me, baby, you got my number!” Cue outrageous wink.

And then the Falconers win against huh, let’s say Boston because I may not know much about hockey but I’m from Montreal and fuck the Bruins.

Jack is feeling okay, they just won by a point but it still makes him feel lighter and chirpier than usual. And then he goes to change and gets attacked by all the mikes in a ten miles radius, all asking about his gay relationship with Kent Parson.

The experience is so surreal that the only thing he manages to blubber is

“… no, I have a boyfriend.”

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kevin was on fire that entire game so you bet i busted the nastiest nut possible when he slid that puck past “elite goalie” c*rey cr*wford. like holy shit my dudes. he did that.