my friends deserve the best gifts


A late birthday gift for my best friend @dio420, have the big asshole DIO and his boy Vanilla Ice!! I wish you the absolute Best, you’re the Daniel to my Alexander, the dog to my Will, and I am so happy we got to meet and become friends! You deserve good things and I hope in this new year of your life, things will work out well for you and that things fall into place!

Have a happy (late) birthday!!!

Varsity Jackets and Peaches - Part 2

hope u guys like!!!!

words: 9k

warning: homophobic slurs, swearing, and heavy sexual content

Summary: Dan Howell hates him. He hates that black haired boy that wears a varsity jacket and smells like peaches and oh goes by the name Phil Lester. He takes joy out of ruining Dan’s life and he hates him. Well he hates him until a round of spin the bottle commences and everything changes between the two. 

read part one here

  “I’m actually going to punch you in the face, Lester.”

“Bring it, Howell.”

Dan lifted his arm and he grunted when feeling Phils fingers wrap around his wrist. He glared and struggled  

“I hate you.”

“I hate you more.”

Keep reading

Very long overdue art trade with my dearest friend bounoromato Sorey & Mikleo from the game Tales of Zestiria ! Please check out her art blog (manos-art) for more gorgeous drawings of these two (。♥‿♥。)

I will never let you fall

a/n: This is my gift to my best friend @eroticgropefest​​. Hope you appreciate my first (and maybe only) attempt at a snowbaz fic just for you, bruh! o// I figured since I’m helping turn you into as much of an h/c hoe as myself, you’d enjoy reading some of that as well (also I’m all out of ideas SORRY I TRIED). Enjoy your 26th aging up <3 :P


Snow is infuriating. I’m certain I’m not the only one who sees it: the way he shrugs at most questions, considering it to be enough of an answer; how he gets flustered and fumbles around looking for his words; how he has absolutely no control over his own immense powers; the way he follows the Mage around, like some kind of stray dog on a very short leash, awaiting his commands.

The most powerful magician alive.

I look at him across the room, once again failing at a spell. Bunce looks at him, exasperated, saying something I don’t care to hear. I glare some more at Snow’s ineptitude, feeling a fire deep inside me, something that tells me to shake some sense into him. How stupidly vulnerable he is! The dangers he puts himself in by his complete lack of control. How easy he’ll be to break under my hands when we inevitably have to face each other.

I can imagine myself marching over to him, pushing him up against a wall. I’d hold on to his neck and look right into those eyes, Snow’s unremarkable eyes, so ordinary and plain looking. I’d stare right at him (and I might choke him a little.) (Not too much, just a little. Just enough). He’d growl at me and it would smell of smoke and get unbearably warm. He’d be so close and alive and warm, I might have a taste. Bite a chunk right out of his neck in front of everyone. (or I might just snog the fuck out of him. Either one).

I don’t do any of that. Instead, I shake my head and then glare at him across the room, while Bunce continues to tell the absolute idiot what to do. Soon he seems to feel my stare and looks up at me. At first he seems confused, but his slow brain finally catches up. and he glares right back, closing his fist more strongly around his wand.

Simon Snow never stops driving me fucking crazy.

There are definitely some things people don’t tell you about sharing a room with the chosen one.

One of them is how once he’s put something on his mind, he’ll never drop it. Crowley, Snow might have won an award for most stubborn person ever if it existed (I’m convinced they should create one just for him at this point). He’s incredibly persistent about his moronic ideas, like his obsession with keeping the windows open. No matter how many times I close them, he’ll open them back up. I suspect he’s doing it out of principle at this point, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it.

There’s an infinite number of frustrating things about living with Snow (besides the irony of living with someone you’re supposed to kill, but instead stupidly caught feelings for) (I may be biased on that one though). From the pointless arguments to the loud nightmares he seems to have convinced himself I don’t know about (a good match to my own relentless night terrors). Or even the way he’s completely oblivious to every single redeeming quality I (debatably) possess. Or even the most cruel ones, like the way looks after he falls asleep, all soft angles and relaxed jaw. Or the unyielding sexual frustration of having him so close to the touch and so hopelessly unreachable.

Yet, no matter how bad those things are, they still feel like they’re almost worth the amount of private wanking I have to do in an attempt to get him off my mind (it never works) (why would it?) It still feels more than I deserve, to have him this close to me. It’s almost comforting (almost, when it isn’t absolutely infuriating).

The truly bad thing about sharing a room with the Chosen One that no one tells you about isn’t even the arguing and all the times he loses his patience and grabs me, manhandling me while I cooly remind him of the anathema. It isn’t even the fact that, while he does that, I just want to push him against the wall and kiss him hard.

The worst thing of all is when he just isn’t there. (and you don’t know where he is or what happened or if he’s safe.) (Why would you when he hates you?)

Keep reading

The Bet

Sterek, 8K words, Mature (here on AO3)

Cop AU, Fake Relationship, Mutual Pining, Mutual Obliviousness

This is a birthday gift for @cobrilee, one of my best fandom friends (BFFs, if you will). She seemed excited by this idea when I told her about it, and she deserves all the nice things in the world. Tomorrow’s her birthday (the 19th), so be sure to wish her a happy birthday! Happy birthday, love!

“I am totally a better cop than you,” Stiles said, punctuating his words with a little hiccup. He set his glass down on the table with a little more force than necessary and squinted at Derek.

Derek just rolled his eyes, though, and smirked around the edge of his beer bottle. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yes!” Stiles said triumphantly. “Me and Erica are better than you and Boyd.”

Erica leaned into Stiles’ shoulder in solidarity, even as she winked at Boyd. “I can’t say that I disagree.”

“Hmm,” Derek said, tilting his head. “How do you feel about backing up that claim? Like, say, with a bet?”

Stiles hesitated. He was pretty much just bullshitting—Derek was a fucking awesome cop, actually—but he couldn’t pass up a bet. “Like what?”

“Most arrests,” Derek said thoughtfully. “Over the next three months.”

He smirked again, and Stiles gulped. 

“What are the stakes?”

“Well, if I win, you’ll be doing my paperwork for the next six months,” Derek said, grinning, and Stiles groaned. Erica and Boyd both laughed, and Stiles glared at them. He hated paperwork, from the very depths of his soul, and everyone knew it. He’d been known to offer anything, not limited to covering shitty shifts and giving away his first-born, in exchange for other people doing his paperwork.

“Wait, wait,” he said, the gears in his mind working. “Do I get to pick the stakes if I win?”

Derek shrugged and nodded. “Sure. But we have to agree to them now, and I have the right to refuse. I will not do anything that involves me getting naked,” he added, frowning, and Stiles made a show of rolling his eyes and sighing. 

“Okay,” Stiles started. He had a monumentally stupid idea, but well, that was kind of his trademark. At least they usually worked out for him. (Emphasis on usually.) “If I win…you have to go to my ten-year high school reunion next year. As my date.”

Derek laughed, a short, staccato burst that even he seemed startled by, and Stiles grinned, unreasonably proud of himself. Derek was definitely the surly, grumpy type, and even after working together for the past two years, Stiles could probably count on one hand the number of laughs he directly provoked. Even with his constant shitty attempts at flirting.

“Okay,” Derek said, still chuckling. “You got it.”

“You two want in on this?” Stiles asked, elbowing Erica. She and Boyd were smiling bashfully at each other—and probably playing footsie under the table, if Stiles had to guess—but it happened so often that he wasn’t fazed by it. They had started officially dating a while ago, which was why she was Stiles’ partner and Boyd was Derek’s.

“Maybe,” she said with a little hum, before her grin turned lascivious. “But our stakes will be private. And sex-based, obviously.”

Boyd blushed, and Derek rolled his eyes. Stiles mimed gagging as he pushed his stool back. “I’m gonna go get another round.”

“Get me something better than this Budweiser shit,” Derek said, poking him in the side, and Stiles shoved at his shoulder.

“Is that how you treat everyone who buys you drinks?” he asked. “No wonder you never get laid.”

Derek rolled his eyes again—his eyes were practically permanently skyward when he was talking to Stiles—and Stiles smirked at him before heading toward the bar. He pushed through the crowd, waiting for the bartender while he dropped his head in his hands with a sigh.

As if Derek had trouble getting laid. He was the most gorgeous person Stiles had ever seen in his entire life, which, sadly, was only a small part of the huge, embarrassing crush that Stiles had on him. It started as physical, obviously, the very second Stiles laid eyes on him, but it only deepened and got worse as Stiles realized that he was hilarious, smart, sweet, and all those other adjectives that people use to describe people they’re in love with.

He barely refrained from thunking his forehead on the bar, as a punishment for his own stupidity. And now he had three months to arrest more perps than Derek, just so that he could drag him across the country and pretend to be his boyfriend. Which would either end up being the dumbest or most ingenious idea he’d ever had.

His money was on the dumbest.

Read the rest on AO3!


Finally finished @percyyoulittleshit birthday gift!!! Happy Birthday Mari!!! Here’s your percabeth babies! I hope they match how you pictured them! 

You’re not old, you’re the perfect age and you’re perfect and I love you! I’m so proud of you for your exams and you deserve all the best!!! XOXOXOX


Happy birthday to my dear sweetie pie Clara @crystallinee-waters !!!!!!!!

You are one gorgeous, talented, amazing human being and I want you to always remember that. You’re an inspiration and source of strength for me every day. I’m just so glad I got to read your awesome writings and be your friend. I wish for you to stay happy, warm and as crazy as you can be!

Lots of love and fluffy disgusting hugs! 

I Hate This (Part II, Ending II) || Jughead Jones x Reader

Show: Riverdale

Request: N/A

Paring(s): Jughead x Betty, Jughead x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, violence

Word Count: 1791

Parts: Part IPart II Ending I

Originally posted by aestheticsprouse

Kevin’s POV… (Skip to Veronica’s POV because that’s where it’s actually different from Ending I)

I was beyond pissed. My best friend was sobbing into my lap because of that idiot. What pissed me off wasn’t that she was crying, it was that she was literally the girl almost every guy in the school wanted to date and she wasted her time and energy on an asshole who clearly doesn’t give a fuck about her.

“Come on. We’re going to go for a drive in that car your parents got you and our first stop is going to be at Pop’s. I’ve got a few words I would like to share with him,“ I pulled her up and helped her clean up a bit before we left. When we arrived at Pop’s, I looked at her and asked her stay in the car for a few minutes. I got out of the car and walked inside to see the four people she’s been avoiding sitting in their usual booth, laughing as if nothing was wrong.

“Hey, Kevin!“ I ignored Betty’s cheery voice and walked over ready to deck Jughead.

“What’s wrong, Kev?“ I looked at Veronica right before I got close enough and punched Jughead right in the cheek.

“What the hell?!“ Archie pulled me away as Betty tended to her asshole of a boyfriend.

“You know, Jones, if you were actually a best friend to her and cared about her, you wouldn’t have said anything that you did because some part of you would’ve registered it beforehand. You’re just a fucking prick who never deserved her,“ I didn’t move from the spot Archie pushed my back to.

“If you’re talking about (Y/N), she’s the one who avoided us remember? She has no reason to be upset,“ Betty argued.

“Of course, defend your asshole of a boyfriend. He went to talk to her today and left her crying her eyes out. Unlike any of you, I didn’t let her push me away which is why I’m her best friend. I was there for her whenever she cried because of you. Unlike any of you, I’m not putting up with Jones’s shit just because you’re friends with him,“ I was making a scene and I don’t care at this point. Let me make a scene and call them all out on their shit.

“What are you talking about, Kevin?“ I looked at Veronica standing between me and the rest of them.

“What am I talking about? Did you know, Veronica, that (Y/N) used to have a crush on Jughead and they all made fun of her? Did you know he broke her heart saying that she pretty much had no chance with him?“

“I did not say-“ Jughead tried to cut me off but I beat him to the chase.

“Did you know that Jughead broke her heart again because as much as she hates it, she still likes him? Did you know that he pretty much said that she wasn’t going to be good enough for him?“ I was at staring Jughead, dead in the eyes as I spoke, “I thought you had a stronger friendship than that so I tried to get her to talk to you guys but you ruined whatever friendship existed between not only you and (Y/N), Jones. You also ruined their friendship with her because I know she’s never going to talk to them again. Why? Because you follow close behind. And do you want to know the most fucked up thing about all of this? She still loves you. She’s still going to be there at your disposal and you fucking know it,” I left them all in stunned silence before going back out to the car.

Veronica’s POV…

“Is what he said true?“ I turned to my friends and saw them keep their gazes down, “Answer me. Is it true?“

“It’s true but I never told her that she wasn’t good enough nor did I ever tell her that she had no chance with me. That part wasn’t true,“ Jughead said.

“Then what did you say?”

“Archie told us that she used to have a crush on me. Used to being the key words in that sentence. Well, they started laughing and I said that she and I were better off as best friends and that’s what we should stay as. Which is the truth, she and I have always been better off as best friends than we are anything else. Today, when I went to go to talk to her, I never said that she wasn’t good enough. I lied to her saying that she couldn’t make me happy or calm the screaming in my head,“ I looked at him before letting a scoff fall into the thick air.

“That’s just as bad as saying what Kevin said you did. Do you even feel bad?“

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have let him gift me with that hello. I deserve it. I lost my best friend and the one person who made everything, no matter how painful, feel like it was going to be okay. I never deserved her,“ Jughead got up and walked away with Betty chasing after him.

Jughead’s POV…

“Juggie, wait up,“ I felt Betty tug on my arm so I would turn around but I just kept walking, “Hey, talk to me.“

“What am I supposed to say, Betty? That I’m fine or that it’s okay? I’d be lying if I did. Listen, Betty, you are perfect and amazing and I’m grateful that you chose me but this won’t work,“ I faced her this time as her eyes softened with understanding.

“Jug, you love her. I know you do and I’ve known that you do for a long time. I understand, so go. Get her back,“ Betty smiled at me before she turned me around and gave me a shove.

“Thank you for understanding, Betty. You’re the best,“ I turned around and gave her one last hug before I ran to (Y/N)’s house. Even if she wasn’t there, I was going to wait here until I could talk to her again. I reached the familiar building before walking up and sitting on her porch. Every memory we ever had here was playing in front of my eyes like a movie.

“What are you doing here?“ I looked up to meet Kevin’s hard gaze and see (Y/N) standing behind him with her eyes on the ground.

“I wanted to talk to (Y/N),“ I didn’t look away from her.

“Haven’t you said enough to her?“

“Kev, go inside. I’ll be inside in a few minutes, just let me hear what he has to say,“ I smirked as Kevin walked past me with an unreadable gaze, “Talk.“

“Sit down. This isn’t going to be short,“ I watched her sigh and sit next to me with our shoulders barely touching as if nothing happened between us, “Let me start off by saying what I should’ve said hours ago. I’m sorry, (Y/N). I was being a dick and you never deserved it.“

“It’s whatever,“ I looked up from my lap to face her while she had her head down.

“It’s not whatever. None of this is whatever,“ I sighed and looked forward at the street, “When you first moved here six years ago, you changed my life. The past six years you have been in my life have been way more peaceful than the first ten you weren’t in my life. And it scares me that that’s the impact you’ve had on me. You made everything seem like it was going to be okay and you made my seemingly sardonic life seem more enjoyable.”

“What are you trying to get at, Forsythe?” I winced at the use of my name. She only ever used it when she was mad at me.

“Let me finish and you’ll find out,“ I could hear her sigh and saw, out of the corner of my eye, her gesture hand out in a sign to continue, “When Archie told us that you used to have a crush on me, I was extremely upset at the fact that was past tense and you no longer did. It hurt because I started to develop deeply rooted feeling for the white rose bush that was you. So I played it off as if we were better off as best friends than we were anything else though I so wanted to be more. The years to follow weren’t the easiest either. Every guy pining after the sun-kissed girl who knew how to make everything better.“

“That’s not me, Jughead. You know it isn’t,“ the use of my nickname made my body feel lighter as if a weight three times the Earth’s was lifted from my shoulders.

“Oh but I know it is you, (Y/N/N). You are the ‘it’ girl despite what you think. You’re perfect and it terrifies me because I love you and I’m not good enough for the ground you walk on. Betty made me feel like I was good enough for someone in this world. But it’s you who makes me feel safe in my own skin,“ I finally looked at her to see her looking forward to the street.

“Spoken like a true writer,“ I let out a small laugh while she let a side smile slip onto her features, “But that doesn’t change the fact that I hate this, Jug. You’re with Betty and I don’t stand a chance despite your words.“

“Betty and I broke up. Losing you is more petrifying than anything else and I can’t lose you. I can’t lose the one person who hasn’t given up on me or left,“ she finally looked at me with her (Y/E/C) shining with scared hope and tears. Mostly tears.

“I don’t know, Jug,“ there goes a tear.

“Please, (Y/N), give me one last chance,“ I cupped her face in my hands while I wiped away her tears with my thumb. I smiled when I felt her leaning into my hand.

“Okay,“ it was hushed but I’ll take whatever I can get. I pulled her into a hug as I kissed her hair. She pulled away enough to wipe at her face, “God, I’m a mess,“ she laughed while looking at me with a small smile.

“You’re my mess and by the way, I don’t hate this. Every power couple has to have a story, ya know,“ she rolled her eyes while pushing me slightly.

“I don’t hate this right now, you dork,“ she leaned forward and hugged me again while I wrapped my arms around her.

“How sweet. Now come inside before you get sick. As for you, Jones, I’m watching you,“ we looked back to see Kevin in the doorway before we laughed and got up to go inside.


I Don’t Love You Anymore Pt 5

A/N: Hey beauties! I’m sooooooooo sorry that this is suuuuuuupppppeeerrr late. Please forgive me. There was a lot going on with finals, weddings and graduation parties but it’s summer and I’m here for good! I can’t believe the amazing feedback from this series y’all are so kind and beautiful and I sincerely thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoy this!

Here’s Part 4 —> i-dont-love-you-anymore-pt-4

“This is too much, y/b/f/n” I say unable to recognize myself in the mirror. “Oh, hush, you look hot” y/b/f/n gushes as she continues loosely curling my hair. “Are you sure I don’t look like I’m trying to hard?” I ask while turning my head at different angles. “Yes!” she shouts as she forcefully places my head still. “Ouch, that hurt!” I cry out, “Do you want to get burned?” she asks with one hand holding the straightener and the other on her hip. “No,” I say softly, “Well stop moving,” she scolds while picking up another strand of hair.

“What party is this again?” I ask playing with my manicured nails. “Shawn’s birthday,” she says. “Your man is no longer a teenager,” she jokes. “That’s not my man,” I snap. “Not now, but by the end of tonight, he’ll be,” she says matter-of-factly. “Are you sure he likes me?” I ask, not wanting to be embarrassed or hurt anymore. I’m tired of having my heart broken by stupid and confused boys, *cough* *cough* Calum Hood. “Oh my gosh, y/n. For the thousandth time, yes Shawn likes you. No, you’re not wearing too much makeup. Yes, your dress is tight but it should be you gotta show off them curves, so please stop worrying you look gorgeous! Seriously, it’s been over a year since you went out as a single woman. You gotta stop letting Calum subconsciously control your mood. Forget him! He’s moved on, remember? It’s time for you to move on too,” she says looking at my eyes through the mirror. I smile at her and she goes back to loosely curling my hair. I look at myself again, and my pouty purple lips turn into a huge smirk as I can’t deny, I do look hot. She finishes curling the last strand as she sings, “All done!” I stand up and look at the sexy red dress hugging my y/s/c frame. “Calum who?” I joke as she starts laughing, “That’s my girl,” she says while picking up her eye liner. Through the mirror, I wink my silver and black smokey eye at her and blow her a kiss as she starts fanning herself with her hand. “You are going to break hearts tonight honey,” she says while going to fix her make up. I laugh at her as I can’t help but imagine the look on Calum’s face when he sees me, he’s gonna wish he never left. “Y/N!” I hear my name being yelled.


“Call an Uber,” she says. “Okay,” I reply picking up my phone and opening the app. “Y/N, you need to stop zoning out so much, that’s how people get kidnapped,” she says. “What?” I ask laughing at her weird statement which she ignores. “It’ll be here in an hour,” I say she nods her head as she continues singing along to Shape of You by Ed Sheeran. “Tonight is going to be unforgettable,” I say as I open Snapchat to picture us getting ready.

As soon as we enter the club the smell of alcohol hits my nose. “Come on, let’s find the guys,” y/b/f/n says and I nod at her smiling. The bass pumps through my veins as Daya sings about how much she needs someone right now. I know what I need right now, drinks. We walk towards the dance floor, which is crowded with energetic bodies grinding, jumping and dancing. I watch the DJ behind his table jumping and dancing with the crowd. Y/b/f/n holds my hand tight as we weave through the bodies. A handsome brown-skinned boy grabs me by the wrist, “Promise me a dance before you leave tonight, gorgeous,” his deep voice yells. I send him a flirty wink, “Promise,” I say as y/b/f/n says, “Come on, I think I see Luke,” as she guides me to a roped off area. The area is a replica of the club with a bar, seating areas and dance floor but its much smaller. I look around and see most of the big time celebrities in there.

“You never told me what’s going on between you two,” I say back not needing to yell anymore since this area was much quieter. “I don’t kiss and tell, y/n” she says as both her and my eyes go wide. “You kissed Luke!?” I shouted as a few heads look at us, “Tell the whole world, will ya?” she snaps as I start wiggling my eyebrows at her. “Y/b/f/n” a masculine voice yells and we turn to see Luke smirking at her while he waves us over. We walk over to the intimidating security guard standing in front of the rope and he blankly stares at us as if he didn’t just hear Luke call us over. “Hi, may we get in?” y/b/f/n asks sweetly. “No,” the guard grunts out.

“They’re with us, Brad” Michael says coming up behind the guard while patting him on the back. Brad huffs out of annoyance but lets us in. “Thanks,” I say softly. I watch y/b/f/n quickly run off with Luke leaving me. “Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, long time no see,” Mikey screams and I can tell he’s already taken some shots. “Did you start drinking without me, Mikey?” I ask with my hands on my hips raising an eyebrow. “I was trying to wait, but you took so damn long,” he says giving me an innocent smile as he wraps me in a tight hug. “I missed you,” he whispers in my ear. “No one else cooks for me,” he whines as he lets go, still holding my hand.

“Cook your own damn food, Michael,” I hear Ashton say behind him as he smirks at me. “Michael get your arse over here!” an Irish voice yells. We all look over, “Hi y/n” Niall waves. “Hey!” I wave back, happy to see the always smiling boy. “Tell Ashton to start making me food,” Michael whispers in my ear as he gives me one last hug. “I’m not cooking for you,” Ashton says. “Meanie” Michael says while sticking his tongue out and walking away towards the group of people including Niall. I look at Ashton in his signature black skinny jeans matched with a black leather jacket. I finally look at his eyes and see his eyes are still making their way to my face, “A picture lasts longer,” I say, mocking him from the other day. He chuckles at me, “Trust me, pictures don’t do you any justice, babe,” he says. His intense gaze starts making flutters erupt in my stomach and I can’t deny the emotions I’m feeling towards this boy. But, I remember what y/b/f/n said, I can’t break up Cashton.

“I should go find, y/b/f/n,” I say going to walk past him. His arm snakes around my waist and I freeze once his front presses against my back. “There’s no telling where she and Luke ran off to, you’ll be looking for them all night,” he says by my ear. “Well, then I should find the birthday boy,” I say while turning my head to look into his eyes. “I’m right here,” he whispers. I chuckle, “Your birthday was last month, Irwin,” I say turning my head away from his. “It was. And you missed it. I didn’t get a gift, call or text from my best friend. Can you imagine how hurt I was?” he asks. Guilt courses through me; he probably was hurt. I look down at his arms and see that its still around my waist. But it doesn’t freak me out, it actually comforts me and I relax a little. “Seems like you’ve gotten over it,” I say. “I haven’t” he whispers as his lips softly brush against my ear, “I think I deserve a gift.” 

“Oh really?” I ask turning around and facing him deciding to entertain him for a bit. “What do you want, birthday boy?” I ask as my hands unconsciously snake to around his neck. He seems surprised by this but he keeps his cool. This feels right, us holding each other but why is it so wrong to everyone else? “For me to buy you coffee,” he says staring into my eyes as he pulls me closer into him. His cologne clouding my brain. “I don’t think you understand how birthday gifts work,” I joke as I laugh while my hands play with the curls at the nape of his neck. I hear him whimper but he quickly covers it up by clearing his throat. I watch his Adams apple move as he swallows deeply and all I can think about is leaving purple-stained kisses all over his neck. “I want to buy you coffee so we can talk about this elephant we’re carrying,” he says referring to our last conversation together.

His words make me realize that I shouldn’t be thinking about kissing him right now. What does that make me look like? Dating one band member and then moving on to another, even if I only truly loved one of them. I retract my hands from the softness, “Actually we can talk about that now,” I say. “Right here?” he says while looking around. “Do you want to go somewhere more private? We can go back to the house,” he suggests, his arms still around my waist. “We can’t be together Ashton,” I say looking at the ground. His grip loosens and I take that as my cue to walk away but he stops me. “Why not?” he asks frustrated that I hadn’t even given us a chance to talk things through. “Is it because of Calum?” he asks.

“What about me?” a voice behind me says. I turn around and see Calum with that girl Twitter is in love with on his arm. “Nothing,” I say as I walk away from them and head to the bar in desperate need of a drink. “Y/N!” Ashton yells. I turn around and look at the boy who I no doubtedly have feelings for yet can’t do anything about them. His eyes are pleading with mine and once again we stare in each other’s eyes neither of us really wanting to speak or leave first. “This conversation isn’t over,” he says before turning around and walking out of the private area. Calum turns around and looks at me with confused eyes, “What is going on between you two?” he asks, his voice laced with frustration. “Why do you even care?” I snap back at him, “Oh that’s right, you don’t. You just want to pretend like you care about me,” I finish and walk away. I walk up to the bar and order three shots of tequila. I down the first two easy but as I lift the third shot to my mouth a hot hand stops me. “Why were you and Ashton talking about me?”

I look at the Maori boy and rolled my eyes, “It doesn’t concern you,” I lie. While taking the third shot and calling the bartender over for another round. “You only drink like that when you’re celebrating, or somethings bothering you,” he says looking at me with soft eyes. I raise a shot to him, “This is for tonight being my first night out as a single woman,” I down it while staring into his eyes. I reach for another, “This one’s for you and your new girlfriend, congrats” I say with sarcasm as I take it down. “This one,” I start by taking the last one, “That’s enough, y//n” Calum says as he takes it out my hand and downs it with ease. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about g/n, it just didn’t seem like the right time,” he admits. “Whatever, Calum, I’m over you,” I say getting off the stool to go find y/b/f/n. I hear Calum clear his throat, “Are you over Ashton?” he asks, softly while playing with his fingers, not looking at me. I turn around and face him, “What?” I ask back. “I said,” he gets off the stool and stands in front of me, “Are you over Ashton?” he asks firmly looking in my eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. “Oh, spare me, y/n,” he snaps. “You think I can’t tell what’s going on between you two,” he asks. “You have always been close with Ashton. You guys finish each other’s sentences. You stay up talking until late hours in the morning, you tell him things before me. You’re his screen saver,” he continues, which takes me by surprise, “I am?” I ask in disbelief. “Yeah, the asshole won’t take it off either,” he says to which I smile looking at the ground. “And at the grocery store, the way he held you and how you looked into each other’s eyes, we never had that,” he says. “No Calum, you didn’t have it, but I did. I loved you more than life itself, I mean you’re my first true love,” I say while grabbing his hands making him look at me. “No, I wasn’t, y/n, Ashton is,” he says. “But we can’t be together,” I say removing my hands. “Because of me?” he asks and I nod my head. “I’m sorry y/n but I don’t think I can ever be okay with you dating Ashton,” he admits. “You, the fans, y/bf/n it’s just not right. I can’t break up Cashton,” I say as he chuckles. “I’m sorry,” we both say at the same time, surprising each other. “What are you sorry for?” he asks. “For meeting you first,” I say as I walk away.

“Y/N!” I hear my voice being called and I turn around to see the handsome forreal birthday boy smiling at me. “Surely, you weren’t about to leave without telling me Happy Birthday,” he smirks as he walks closer. He is cute, I think to myself as I eye him up and down, he looks real good in those skinny jeans and black t-shirt his muscles bursting from underneath. “Of course not,” I say walking back to meet him. “Are you okay?” he asks sincerely probably noticing my misjumbled face. “Yeah,” I say. “Promise?” he asks holding his arms out. “Promise,” I say walking in his arms. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispers in my ear. “Me too,” I say looking up at him and giving him a big smile. Work by Rihanna and Drake starts to play and he asks me to dance with him. I take his hand as he guides me to the mini dance floor, which is already crowded. He puts his hands on my waist and I put my arms around his neck as we start to dance together exchanging small talk, he’s a really amazing guy. “So I guess birthday wishes do come true,” he says in my ear. “What do you mean?” I ask still flustered from how close we are. “I wished that I’d get to dance with the prettiest girl in the world,” he says looking in my eyes, making me embarrassed. “Oh please,” I say focusing on dancing but very flattered by his comment. “Its true, y/n. You’re so beautiful, its a shame that Calum couldn’t see what he had,” he says as his arms reach to my lower back pushing me more against him. “But one man’s trash is another man’ s treasure,” he says while looking between my eyes and my lips. I’m not sure if its the alcohol, Shawn or both but I want nothing more than to feel his lips on mine. He leans down and whispers over my mouth, “Does the birthday boy get a birthday kiss?” “Not from her,” a deep voice says, pulling me away from Shawn. I look up to see Ashton with a pissed face. “Hey, I don’t want come in between anything, I thought you were single, y/n,” Shawn says while looking at me. “Sorry, man but she isn’t” Ashton says speaking for me, as he pulls me away to a couch towards the back of the private area where no one was sitting.

“Ashton, let me go,” I say as his grip tightens. “Is that why you don’t want to be with me? That kid?” he asks obviously upset. “He’s not a kid,” I say defending Shawn. “The boy only just turned 20,” he says matter-of-factly. “He’s only 2 years younger than me,” I say back. “Oh so am I too old for you?” he snaps. “Ashton, you know that’s not why we can’t be together. Shawn, is not complicated,” I tell him and immediately regret it. “So you’d throw away what we have for a kid you don’t even like just because it’s not complicated!” he yells. “I don’t have a choice! Can you imagine the backlash I’ll get for dating you? I can’t handle that, Ashton” I snap back at him. “I don’t care what other people think about us, I love you! That’s the only thing that should matter” he says as he grabs my hands and pulls me into him. “Tell me you love me,” he demands and tears fill my eyes because I can’t admit it out loud. Once I do, it’s going to be even harder to walk away. “No,” I say trying to take my hands out his grasp but he grips them tighter. “Tell me you think about me all the time. Tell me how much you miss me, say it y/n” he says again, his hands going to my face forcing me to stare into his beautiful eyes. “Please, Ashton don’t make me say it,” I beg him. “Tell me, y/n” he begs again. “Tell me how much you regret meeting Calum first. Tell me how you just want me to hold you and never let you go,” he pleads tears threatening to spill from his eyes too as his hands play with my hair. He leans me closer into him, “Tell me!” he snaps and I can’t deny my feelings for him any longer.

There’s only one way for me to express to him how he makes me feel. I crash my lips onto him and he immediately kisses me back. His warm and soft lips feel so good against mine. We fight for dominance but he wins as I’m overwhelmed by how good this feels. I put my hands in his hair and start tugging on his curls earning a moan from his lips. His tongue asks for entrance which I happily grant him access. Our tongues dance with one another as we both pour our emotions into the kiss. Our kiss feels as explosive as fireworks. Tastes better than the first bite of food after fasting. Feels more homey than Christmas morning…it’s like magic. I begin to bite and suck on his bottom lip as his hands move to my butt and massages it making me softly moan. I attack his lips once again, this time I take control as I back him into the couch. He flops down and wasting no time, I go to straddle him as I start leaving small kisses and bites on his neck. “Fuck y/n” he whispers out making me more excited. I make my way back to his mouth and give him one last passionate kiss and stare into his eyes. “Ashton Fletcher Irwin,” I say bringing my hands back to his hair, pushing it off of his face. “I think about you all the time you’d think I was obsessed. These last few weeks have been hell being away from you and when I saw you in the supermarket I almost cried. I’d do anything to go back in time and make you mine when I first had the chance. I’m so in love with you,” I say with my whole heart. “Oh baby,” he says rubbing his hands up and down my back, “You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that,” he says. “I love you so much, y/n. I’m never letting you go, I don’t care what anyone thinks. You’re mine,” he says staring into my eyes.

“I fucking knew it” a voice behind us says as we turn around and see Calum looking like he’s ready to kill us.

A/N: So this is part 5, please tell me what y’all think! I love hearing from you all and talking about what I should do. Do y’all want a part 6? Or should I leave as is? Thank you for reading it means so much!!!! xoxoxo

You’re My Gift.

Peter Parker X Reader One Shot.

Prompts used: 125. “I don’t deserve this gift, Y/n. You have to take it back.” -  118. “I don’t deserve you…” {Winter Prompt List}

Warnings: Like, One cuss word. Not proof read.

Originally posted by diegolunaz

You struggled to knock on your best friends door, Almost dropping all the presents you were holding in the process. 

“Peter open the door for me!” You yelled, Loud enough for the whole building to hear. Soon enough, The door opened to one of your favorite people.

“Aunt May!  Merry Christmas!” You smiled, making your way into their cozy apartment. You had always loved the place. Around the holidays it always smelled of cookies, Cocoa, and pine trees. They were basically family. And the small place was your second home. 

“Y/n! So glad you could make it in all this weather. We’ve been estatic that you could spend today with us!” May told you joyfully. She energy was enough to light up the whole block. “Here, I can take these over to the tree for you. Make yourself comfortable.” 

You nodded as thanks, Handing her the all the gifts in you arms. You swore you had to have some sort of powers to be able to carry everything two blocks away. You quickly took off your winter jacket and boots, Ready to relax and eat as many cookies as you possibly could.

“Hey, is Y/n here yet?” Peter asked, Coming out of his room. Still in his PJs, His hair was a mess and he looked like he was living off of 4 hours of sleep. But he still had that weird charm about him. Peter always managed to look adorable. 

“Yeah, I’m here! But only for the food.” You joked, Giving him a hug. “i missed you.” You said, Poking his cheek playfully. 

“Of course you are.” He grinned. 

“Sorry kids! I’m going to head out. Joanne is having a pie crisis. i’ll be back in a little.” You saw May rush from the kitchen and quickly put on all her May waved goodbye as she hurriedly headed out the door.   “Well it looks like it’ll just be us..” Peter muttered.

“Guess we’ll have to wait for lunch. How bout’ we open up gifts instead?” You nodded over to the tree, giving him a hopeful look. “Please?”

“Sure. Whatever you want.” He agreed.

“Come on Peter, It won’t bite you. You can open it.” You said, Nudging his arm. Waiting for him to stop staring at his present and just open it.  

“I know, I know.” Peter replied. Taking off the box lid to reveal a brand new computer, Up to date and with all the hardware he needed already installed. 

“I knew yours was breaking down, And i couldn’t bare it if you lost all your projects.” You smiled at him, Extremely happy to give a new thing for him, Since you knew his old junkyard stuff was starting to wear out fast.

“You must’ve spent a fortune on it! I don’t deserve this gift, Y/n. You have to take it back.” He pushed it back to you, An unreadable look on his face. You didn’t know why he was acting so weird about it.

“It was worth it. Peter i wanted to give this to you. There’s no way in hell i’m taking it back.” He saw that there was no use. You weren’t going to budge at all. “Thank you. Really. God, I don’t deserve you…” 

“What are you on about?” You asked. “Nothing.. I just.. Here, I got this for you.” He reached over to get the package from underneath the tree.

“I’m sorry if you hate it. It’s not even half of what you got me.” He handed you a small box, Wrapped very terribly with a bow. At least you could tell he did it himself. He anxiously shifted as you unwrapped it, Keeping his eyes on you and your reaction. 

“Oh my god.” You muttered, Observing the stunning necklace shaped in a heart, ‘I love you,’ Was written in cursive on the front. While the other side was a picture of you two only a year ago, sticking your tongues out at the camera. It was one of your favorite pictures together. You didn’t even know what to think.

”Peter, Wha-” His lips suddenly pushed against yours in a hard kiss. That completely took you by surprise. But it didn’t take you long to melt into it, Wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. You could feel the sparks flying. It’s cliche, But you knew it was meant to happen exactly like that. 

“Oh wow.” You breathed, biting your lip unconsciously. Your whole body felt warm, And you weren’t quite sure if that really just happened. Your mind was going at 100 miles a minute.

“I love you.” Peter confessed, Sighing as he said it. 

“No shit. I did read the necklace.” You giggled, Loving how Peter’s face turned even more red when you teased him. You pressed another soft kiss on his lips, Loving the feeling even more. “I love you too, You dork.”
Match Point - DecemberCamie - Hunter X Hunter [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Fic title: Match Point

Word count: 4619

Based on the prompt: 

‘you own this jacket i really like but you never even wear it so you let me borrow it but i forgot it has your last name embroidered on the back so now people look at me and think we’re dating’

This was written as a thank you gift for @sketchxhunter for being the most amazing and wonderful person to ever exist!!!! She is so supportive and encouraging of me and my work always, I owe her so much <3 

@softkillua beta’d this fic at like 1AM so he deserves the biggest thank you ever!!! Please check out his writing, I swear you won’t regret it!

…and I think that’s it? I had pple asking me to write a full length fic for this back when I started writing WTWF. Anyway, please enjoy!

Match point: a point that if won by one contestant will also win the match

It was raining.

Of course it was. Because why would it be a nice, sunny day for the final soccer game of the year?!

Normally, this wouldn’t have mattered to Killua. The weather was the weather and he didn’t exactly mind watching sport games, except what was the fun in watching a game you couldn’t play in?! He never would have thought of attending the game at all, in fact, if not for one very simple factor.

Gon Freecss. Team captain, talented player, Killua’s one and only best friend.

Best friends were hard to come by. Killua cared for Gon more than he would ever admit, so when Gon eagerly requested that he attend the final game, he submitted with little pressure and was rewarded with a back-breaking hug.


Killua was seriously starting to question just how much he valued Gon’s friendship now that he was sprinting through sheets of freezing rain only to be a specter at a high school soccer game.

Keep reading


HAPPY BIRTHDAY @spacemcclain!!!!

“Maybe I’m just a fifth wheel”

Like Lance, I love you with all my heart and I want you to be happy more than anything in this world. You are so much more than you think you are and you deserve so much more love than you think you deserve. You are never “just a x wheel” to me. You are one of the best things that have come into my life and i am forever grateful to be your friend <333333

I hope you like my gift to you, it was kind of rushed ahhhhh i wish i were better at art so that i could’ve drawn this better for you


I’m in totally in love by those gifts that the wonderful gem @djfatchip gave to me! She commissioned the amazing artist @augmented-mind to do these impressive arts of my ocs Jessica Shepard and Gustav Bertrand. Really, I don’t have words to express how much it means to me and how much I’m in love with those arts! I can’t stop staring at them and I screamed so much when I saw them. My canon Shepard, Jessica, looks absolutely gorgeous and almost exactly the way I imagine her, it’s just perfect and I’m in love with it all, seriously, it’s a dream coming true to see my beloved oc in such wonderful art! <3 She looks like a super hero and her eyes are glowing blue here because of her biotics and she is wearing the catsuit her Twin made for her, awesome! And Gustav looks exactly like the way I imagine him, even the scar in his eyebrow, he looks so handsome! I can’t stop looking at his grumpy face and smile at it <3 I have to thank the wonderful artist for this amazing job and for giving life to my ocs in the most beautiful and magestic way! Thank you so much, I don’t have words to express how much I’m in love with your art and these arts in particular! <3 And of course, I will always be thankful to my wonderful, fabulous and amazing friend Serenity! You already know that, but I don’t get tired of saying that I thank everyday that I met a friend like you, as if I knew you my entire life! It’s a dream that our ocs can meet in the wonderful universe of Lonely Hearts in Space, this universe is just a dream coming true, as it’s amazing to think of all the details and our ocs together. I really don’t have words to thank you enough for this wonderful gift, it means the world to me all your friendship and your admiration for my ocs! <3 Know that you deserve all the best in the world and you can always count on me, for everything you need! And that your ocs are wonderful too, just as your writing, stories and everything you try! You have a wonderful talent and I’m sure you will have so much success in all your dreams <3 Thank you so much, I love you, Dear! And I will always be grateful for everything! <3

Rounding Home

Emma Swan is happy. Really. Absurdly. Incandescently.

Even when she’s surrounded by the picture-perfect wedding of her two best friends. Well, re-wedding. David and Mary Margaret have been married for nearly six months. No one in Storybrooke got that message. It didn’t matter. She was still happy. And, well, it might have been half because of the boyfriend she’d brought back to Storybrooke with her.

He was her boyfriend this time.

Or - Emma and Killian return to Storybrooke for the “re-wedding of the century” and it’s not quite as dramatic this time. A not-quite You Play Ball Like a Girl sequel.

AN: This is a gift for my delightful and fantastic friend @distant-rose who deserves a bit of fluff and feels very strongly about YPBLAG. Someday I’ll write that sequel. Someday. Here’s about 10K worth of fluff and feelings instead. 

Also up on Ao3 if that’s how you roll. 

Keep reading

Thank you for following me

Originally posted by audreylaine-nalley

SO, i hit 500 followers just a few days ago and i want to say a huuuge thank you!!! to EVERYONE who follows me! i really appreciate it!!
you are the best people, you make me happy everyday, i love you so damn much💜   

guess it’s like follow forever? but it wouldn’t be me if i just write a bunch of urls here yknow
so here a looong post of nice words about my lovely friends whom i cherish so much 🌸

(you don’t have to read everything, just find the part where i mentioned you | if we talking scroll to the bottom you are probably mentioned there:) )

((also even though i’m gonna mention a lot of people here i just can’t mention everyone, so if you follow me, my friend i love and appreciate you so much <3)) 

Keep reading


“What’s all this, dude?”

Happy Birthday for my dude: @mordebloggirl97

After 2 weeks working on this little gift I made for you it was totally worth it, I know how much you like this ship… well we always talk about them most of the time, I really hope you like it, I wish you have an amazing birthday, my friend!  A special person like you deserves the best that each day can bring, I hope you have a beautiful day and your wishes and dreams come true! :’D

Dear friends...

It’s been a while since I made my tumblr account and I met a lot of wonderful people here, I want to thank each one of you for being my friend, so I decided to make a post about all of you ( I hope I don’t forget anyone ^^’ )

@babypeachtaozii You are my first tumblr friend and I am soo thankful that you messaged me that day!!! I love how my url made you message me xDDD I love you soo much!!! I will always treasure you!!! I know you’re very busy and we can’t chat often, but if you ever need me, I’ll always be there for you!!!

@bobs-flowers Omg I am soo happy we met!!! You’re such a wonderful friend!!! You’re super hardworking!!! I love you soo much!!! You faced a lot of problems and I tried to help you, sorry if I wasn’t that helpful ^^’ I know you have a lot of work to do but please, always remember to rest!!!

@sosuke-of-secondearth You’re honestly soo cute!!! Thank you for being my friend and always helping when I am sad or anxious!!! I really appreciate that you message me even when you have to go to work!!! You’re really precious and lovable!!! I hope you’ll always be happy, cause you deserve it!!!

@saranghaeyeols We met on Christmas day and you’re honestly the best Christmas gift I ever got!!! I love you and your cats!!! You’re also gorgeous, stop saying you’re not, okay? I will fight you if you say that you’re not beautiful. Thank you for messaging me!!! Good luck on your exams!!! Don’t overwork!!!

@winteryethereal We met few days ago, but you’re honestly soo talented!!! And I love chatting with you!!! I hope more people will notice your talent ;) Good luck!!!

@charliefazbear We didn’t talk a lot, sorry for not messaging you >///< I really liked chatting with you and I am really thankful that I got to meet you ;) I hope we will chat again!!!

@taos-left-eyelid My lovely child!!! I am sorry for not joining the group chat!!! I love you, I really do!!! Don’t forget that!!! Also, you’re gorgeous ok? Absolutely perfect!!! I will fight whoever attacks you!!! Also, you’re really talented OMG!!! I love the stuff you write ;* I will always be there for you ^^

@sakura-gucci-panda My fellow scorpio friend!!! I love how you trust me enough to share your feelings!!! I am always here to listen!!! We are quite alike 😏😏😏 I love the lockscreens/wallpapers you make, omg, like, you’re so talented? Thank you for being you!!!

@kais-daddy Omg when I first saw you I thought you were a model, why you’re so gorgeous??? Also, I really like your personality omg!!! You’re also have an amazing sense of humor!!! We didn’t chat a lot, but I hope we will!!! Ohhh!!! And take care of yourself, I don’t want you to get ill agan >///<

@kai-aaah You’re soo cute AJSHCVFJKFBD I love chatting with you!!! Though we didn’t chat a lot…. >///< But omg you’re like an angel!!! Let’s chat more often!!! ( If you want to of course!!! )

@jungkookies-babygirl I hope you’re happy, cause you deserve happiness and love!!! You’re a wonderful person and it breaks my heart to see you sad… If you’ll ever need someone to talk to, I will always listen!!! Thank you for being such a wonderful person!!!

@kurosentoki I see you being sad quite often and I hate myself for not being able to help you… I know, we didn’t chat a lot, but I still really want to make you at least a little happier!!! You’re amazing!!! I love you!!!

@milktaost I remember when I used to send you random anon messages and how cute your answers were!!! Thank you for answering them!!! Sorry for not messaging you often ^^’ I really don’t want to be annoying >///< Ahh I hope you’re happy and healthy!!! Love you lots!!!

@paulienm You’re very cute and I love your blog!!! Thank you for randomly messaging me!!! I love you even though we didn’t talk a lot!!!

@trashbxsh Thank you for liking my reblogs!!! I really appreciate this!!! I hope we will become friends :3 Love you!!!

@braziebear We probably chatted only once but omg was that fun!!! I hope we will chat more in the future :3 ( If you want to ^^ )

@exocausetearsandsmiles You’re hilarious omg I love your blog!!! You’re also soo open minded!!! Thank you for randomly messaging me ( I am literally to shy to message you cause I think that I am way to lame )

@kimnamwho We also probably chatted only once but I really liked it!!! Let’s chat again!!! ( if you want to ^^ )

@blackberryconnossieur I loved chating with you!!! You’re honestly amazing I really love you!!! :3

@xiulayallday You’re adorable! We didn’t chat, but I love your blog ^^ Thanks for being a mutual ^^

@chogiwapark Ahhhh Tesa!!!! Thank you for sticking with my lame self!!! I honestly don’t understand why are you still not bored to chat with me, like??? I love you, you’re soo amazing!!! I know you’re busy, so thank you for finding time to answer my messages!!! You also can message me sometimes, ok? ;* Love you!!!

@7deer-ofthe-dawn7 Ahh I really like the fanfic you wrote!!! We didn’t chat a lot and that’s probably because I am too anxious to message you ( You’re honestly soo cool omg ) but I still love you LOL ( please don’t judge me, I really do love all of the people I know on tumblr >///< )

@hoe4baek Ahh… We didn’t chat often, but maybe we could chat more in the future? If you want to? You’re very cute!!! I love you!!!

@swaggyt-a-o emmm…. Yeah, we also didn’t chat often but YOU’RE ADORABLE ASHCGSDHJKVS!!!! I was soo shocked when you followed my blog omg >///< Thank you for being a mutual ^^

@blancnabi Thanks for tagging me in stuff!!! I love your blog!!! You’re adorable!!! Let’s become friends!!! :3

@eau-de-low-budget You’re an amazing artist!!! I love your art!!! You’re honestly super talented, I am not lying!!! You’re a wonderful person!!! ^^

@stopjunmyeon Ahhh I am soo honored you follow me >///< You’re absolutely gorgeous and I love your personality!!! You’re amazing!!! I wish there was more people like you!!!

@1oveyoon We haven’t chatted in a while >///< I love you soo much!!! You’re gorgeous omg >///< I am happy I met you!!! Let’s talk more in future ( if you want to!!! )

I am really thankful that all of you are my friends ( well at least I hope you are ^^ I love all of you ) I am sorry if I don’t message you, I am really shy >///< All of you are soo cool and amazing, literal angels so I get really anxious to message you!!! >///< I tagged people randomly, I love all of you the same!!! Once again, Thanks for being my friends or simply mutuals!!! I cherish each one of you!!!

SO, I reached 300+ followers a time ago and I was shook ( did you all come through my mirror when I wasn’t looking or? ).  I can’t believe it but to be honest, this is not about how many followers I have but about saying “THANK YOU”  to some people that make writing here one of the most amazing experiences ever and are basically the reason why I am here, my true motivation besides my everlasting love for this Soprano that conquered my life completely and this story that breaks my heart in the best way possible. Great blogs that I simply love having on my dash, people that are so talented that make me speechless every time I read anything they write, and those who I consider now my friends, some all of those things combined because you are all so amazing that I can’t put into words. People that I love talking to and annoying the hell out ( sorry not sorry ). So yes, this is a thank you. A very sappy thank you by the way but it is not my fault that you all make me so damn emotional. I wish I could tag and write about every single one of you, but that would be the longest (ye boi) crying text ever.

Keep reading

What do you take away from a relationship?

Brace yourselves, folks, for another episode of Real Talk With Edye: Breakup Edition.

So I was rereading old messages the other day, and I got a little bummed because there was a time awhile ago where everyone was fangirling when I followed them, and that stopped, and it feels (sometimes) like I get fewer nice messages, but here’s the thing. At one point, those people felt those things. And the fact that people in general may no longer be feeling those things, that doesn’t make them invalid.

See, when you lose a relationship in your life, it’s so easy to view it almost as object permanence: they loved you while you were there, but now that they’re gone, the love and the memories are too. Well, that’s not true. Every time they told you that you’re beautiful, every time they told you how much you were loved… those things don’t go away.

The greatest gift of all, I think, is to be loved AND to have loved. My breakup with Alec was terrible, painful, even devastating at times. It’s easy to be bitter (and I am), but I can’t say I got nothing from it. Just because he changed his mind doesn’t mean he never truly loved me. At some point in time, I was loved by him; he did think I was beautiful; he was there for me. Accordingly, though I don’t particularly feel he deserves anything (I really am bitter), I have given him something wonderful: my own love, even though it’s gone. For some time, he was the only person I trusted; he was the best friend I ever had; he made me happier than anyone else did.

I could look back on that and feel like shit. I could think, Wow, what a goddamn waste of time that was. He didn’t deserve it. But I choose not to, because loving him was a gift to myself as well. To care about somebody so entirely, to always want to be with them, is an incredible experience. Some people go most of their lives without experiencing it. Yes, there is pain in loving someone. But there is also beautiful, human emotion.

Doing a postmortem after a relationship ends badly is never easy. And so I remind myself constantly, that in the end, what I took away from the relationship was this tremendous gift. Just because he doesn’t find me so beautiful and doesn’t love me anymore doesn’t mean it erases his sentiments; it doesn’t make me less beautiful or less loved.

If you are struggling with the loss of somebody who meant a great deal, whose absence feels like a hole in your life for a bit, who perhaps impacted your self esteem more than you’d like to admit… remember this. Even though they left you, their words remain as a memory, and if those words were spoken with truth at the time, then they are no less true now than they were then. And even though they left you, they left you with two gifts: one, being loved; and two, having loved.

Hang in there, folks. We’ll all get through this together.