my friend said this to me a few months ago and it kinda stuck with me

Cosplay, Fanart and Plagiarism

(gif curtesy to Mel)

TL;DR: An artist traced (!) my cosplay photo without permission, gave me zero credits, sold the prints at a con and denied she’s ever seen my photo.

First, both of us, the cosplayer and the photographer, want to say that it would never have come to this if the artist would have immediately apologized to us in person, instead of being extremely rude to us and letting things escalate. A simple sorry and taking down the prints would’ve sufficed.

In the beginning of January, being hyped with the new SU episodes, I immediately fell in love with Blue Diamond and cosplayed her. Two months ago, a friend let me know that an artist she saw drew a fanart based on my photo. I was extremely flattered and happy, but also kinda sad the artist gave me zero credits. Us cosplayers and photographers work really hard to get a nice result, and everyone is happy when their photo serves as an inspiration for another artwork. I wrote a letter to her stating that I love her art, but I’d like her to credit me as a source of inspiration (adding the screen shot).

For two months, there was silence. I tried it again a few weeks ago, but again, no response. Okay, what can you do…

Last weekend we had a big con in Germany with a huge artist alley and both of us, the photographer and the cosplayer, attended. Suddenly, a friend came to us and said that there’s a girl selling this exact drawing. We were puzzled and decided to go to her booth and look at it ourselves.

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Summary: You and your three-month work crush get stuck in a Target store when a blizzard hits town. Fluff ensues.

Author’s Note: To start off Marvel-ous July, here’s a winter season fanfic, even though it’s the opposite weather right now here in sunny California.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 1,878

Originally posted by buchanstan

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One day at a time (chapter 1) Lin-Manuel x Reader

I had a 9 hour plane journey with nothing to do so I wrote a stupidly long fluffy fic as part of a new series.  

Summary: This is based on Lin’s adorable tweet about him messing around on tinder. Old Man Miranda explores Tinder while logged into his friend’s account and has an awkward conversation with Reader. Awkwardness and some fluff ensues. It’’s about time I wrote something that wasn’t totally angsty for a change.

Warnings: Nothing but fluff, but I definitely swear more than I think I do.

Word Count: 3,989

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Brood Buddies

Originally posted by monstrousmess

Characters: Y/n, Derek, Peter, Stiles, Scott, The Pack

Pairing: Derek x Y/n (FEMALE READER)

Warnings: Terrified Stiles…moodiness, bonding with Derek, fluff, insulting Stiles, fluff at the end…

Word count: 1515

Summary: You and Derek find a common interest…your disgust for Stiles. 

A/N: Ok, so requested fic from @loosing-arms-barnes-Can I request a Derek hale imagine where he and the reader are both brooding and rude and somehow they bond over their annoying encounters with stiles and the rest of the pack. So I didn’t do multiple encounters of bonding, only the one. Also, sorry it took so long!! Hope u like it!!

Tagged peeps: @sallyp-53 @greyravenvixen @helvonasche@chelsea072498@the-latina-trickster@aingealcethlenn​ @squirrels-angels-and-moose @lucifer-in-leather@kumaartz@sinceriouslyamellpadalecki@mogaruke​ 


“Do you think she’ll be there too?”

Stiles hated when you were around.

He had nothing against you.

Well-maybe a little something.

You were scary.

Stiles was terrified of you.

You were older. You were quiet. You were moody. And you looked at him as though you were about to murder him. 

You were basically Derek, except with boobs and longer hair.

“I don’t know, Stiles. But just calm down. She’s not that bad”.

Stiles stared at Scott in shock.

“Not that bad? Scott, she’s practically psychotic. She just sits and stares. Barely says anything. And she’s friends with Peter!” he hissed, trying to get his point across.

Scott smirked, shoving Stiles as they walked through the parking lot.

“Y/n’s not that bad. Aside from being friends with Peter, she’s a nice person”.

Stiles just couldn’t understand how people liked you.

He didn’t hate you. But you were cold and mean. 

“Whatever, Scott. Just make sure you have your claws ready, cos I’m pretty sure she’s gonna kill me one of these days”.

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SugarDaddy!Cal Pt. 19

A/N: This chapter is long asf you guys, but I’m sure you expected it. The drama in this is to die for lmaoo, but I promised they’d be alright and I’m going to keep that promise. I wouldn’t ruin your little hearts like that. So, remember 100 notes and feedback and I hope you enjoy💕

At the rate this story gets notes, I’m pretty sure you’re all going to want the last chapter tmr. So, I’m gonna get to finishing that and try not to get upset that it’s over.

*WARNING**: Just a pinch/ mention of smut, nothing too detailed or serious.

One/ Two/ Three/ Four/Five/Six/Seven/Eight/
Sixteen/ Seventeen/ Eighteen/ Nineteen/Twenty{END}

You all had been standing there in an eerie silence for what felt like hours after the recording had stopped. Calum was standing there stiffly with no sign of emotion on his face. It was as if the Māori had shut down completely after hearing the news. You were beyond nervous at this because Calum was usually one to let out his anger as soon as he felt it, he never thought about what to do, he kinda of just reacted. Luke on the other hand was praying for the ground to open up and swallow him whole instead of Calum getting to him.

“Mate…you okay?” Ashton was the first to speak as he took cautious steps towards Calum.

“You…you slept with Y/N?” Calum questioned Luke who now resembled a deer caught in headlights.

“Calum, I’m so sorry.”

“You slept with Y/N.” he repeated to himself, almost as if he had to get the words stuck in his brain so that he could believe it.“That’s got to be a joke right, you wouldn’t have…You know how much she means to me.”


“What the fuck, Luke?!” He shouted, knocking over the lamp on the couch side table. The glass shattered the second it hit the floor and you had to keep your thoughts focused on the situation and not how hot you found an angry Calum to be.

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Got7 Imagine: Proposing to You

Requested by the same friend who wanted the Jungkook x Reader fanfic, but since she’s got no WiFi, she can’t send in an actual request.


He’d be all Christen Grey about it. Wear a sharp as fuck suit, take you to a restaurant that costed more than your car for appetizers, and treat you like a goddamn queen. He’d get you whatever you wanted from the menu, and only when you forked a small piece of your dinner into your mouth did you realize that you two were alone in the restaurant.

“Jagi, we’ve been together for so many years no. And… well, we both know that I’m not the best when it come to dealing with my emotions, but you’ve made me feel fo safe and around you, and I can tell you what I feel as opposed to bottleing it up and letting it loose on the guys. You’ve made me realize it’s okay to take a break in someone else’s arms, and for that, I’m eternally grateful to you.” *goes down on one knee* “My beloved _____, will you marry me?”


This extra as fuck puppy would make sure the whole planet–no, scratch that. The whole universe know how much he fucking loves you. He’ll set up the whole thing in your favourite place–which is also the place you two went for your first date. He’d put out your favourite flowers everywhere, get the guys to come serenade the hell out of you–anything and everything he can do to make the most important person in his life happy. And when the festivities are out of the way, he’ll approach you calmly, with tears in his eyes and say:

“Jagi, I love you so goddamn much, it hurts me to think about it. There have have been a lot of girls in my life, but not a single one could even dream of being as perfect for me as you are. Except for Mark. Markson is forever and always. But that’s not the point.” *goes down on one knee* “ _____, will you marry me?”


He totally stole Jaebum’s idea, he only edited it a little bit. He took you to a fancy restaurant–JUST LIKE JAEBUM DID–but took you to an ice cream shop afterwards. He handed you your favourite five flavours of ice cream, and started walking with you in the empty streets of Seoul. When you put the last bit in your mouth, you came across something that was most definitely not ice cream. You thought it was merely a piece of candy that got cought up in your scoop, so you continued chewing. But as the ice cream melted, you noticed the ring-like shape of the object.

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but jagi, you’ve made my life so much sweeter since you walked into it. I thought the foreseeable future of my life would be dealing five idiots and our ticking anger time bomb of a leader, but you’ve made me smile so much that I think it got stuck a few times. So, thank you for that. And, another thing, I kinda need the ring to propose.” *hands him ring after a brief wiping* *goes down on one knee* “_____, will you marry me?


Sadly, the guys wouldn’t let him fit dancing into his proposal schedule, but either way, he made due. He still had a voice and multiple emotions to convey to you, that even he eventually saw that dancing just wouldn’t fit. Him being the maknae of the group really showed as he seemed to more scared shitless than any of them had been. He was just paranoid that if he did something too crazy, he’d scare you away. So, he settled for something very simple and classic. He took you to a spot in the city you both agreed was stunning, and when you arrived, he softly grabbed your arm and said:

“Love, we’ve been together for longer than I expected you to deal with me for, and if you’ve taught me anything, it’s what true love really is. You’re my girlfriend and best friend wrapped up into one super human, and I couldn’t ask for anyone better. Well, I mean, I hope to change the ‘girlfriend’ status right now.” *goes down on one knee* “_____, will you marry me?”


This dabbing monster still has a little bit of dork in him from his Baby BamBam days, and as such, this carries into his proposal to you. He’d drag you onto the stage at one of hteir biggest concerts, grab your shoulders tightly, and spin you around to face the audience, where the light stick spelled out the words: Will You Marry Me? And it had you near tears.

“Jagi, your’e the love of my life and the whole world should know that; know how much I love you. You mean so much to me and I can’t thank you enough for putting up my morning routine of dabs. So, my love, my ____, will you marry me?”


He wouldn’t make a huge scene out of it at all. He wouldn’t even leave the house to confess his love to you. He loved you with all his heart, and the only people that mattered to were you and him. He’d set up the living room nicely, play an instrumental track you confessed to loving months ago. When you walked through the door, the butterflies who had been merely fluttering about before were now trying their damn best to escape.

“Before you say anything, jagi, I need to say this. I love you so much, with all of my heart, soul, mind, and body. It’s almost as if you as a person were crafted for me to fall in love with, to cherish and look out for. And what I wanted to ask you… what I still want to ask you… _____, will you marry me?”


He’d be so nervous and flustered when the day finally came to pop the big question​ to you. He loved you so much, and you’re the only one he doesn’t mind being a blushing mess around. You mark him so happy and goddammit if he doesn’t get this right he’ll never forgive himself. He pick out a set list of songs that helped convey his emotions towards you, and even one original as the big finale. He rented out a stadium just for his words of love to echo off the walls and bounce right back to you. 

“Jagi, there aren’t enough stadiums in the world to hold all of the love I have for you. You mean so much to me, and I feel like even with all of the songs I sang for you just now, you still don’t understand how much my heart aches with love for you. Everyday I wake up and think: ‘how could j have gotten so luck as to end I’m with someone as amazing as you?’ Well, I don’t know how I managed it, but I have you. And I hope I’ll have you for the rest of our days. *full name*, will you marry me?”

Magnets: Prologue

A Prompto Argentum Soulmate AU

AO3Chapter 1
Word Count: 1,192

A/N: Here it is! The beginning of the Prompto soulmate AU miniseries. Thank you to everyone for your patience! This story, aside from the prologue, is 5 parts. It is part of the We Intertwined and Chasing Suns (by @cupnoodle-queen) storyverse. Part one will be up tomorrow. ♡

Ignis was back at Hunter HQ for the first time in a month. It felt almost strange, returning to work with his wife and newborn daughter at home, but he knew that he had no other choice. Bounties brought in gil, and Raine, though tenacious and itching to get back into the fray, knew that she had to stay back in Lestallum with the children where it was safe. Ignis was more than capable of bringing in enough to support the four of them, and she trusted that he would be safe with his friends at his side.

The air outside of Lestallum was different. Crisper, less muddied with the aromas of different perfumes and bodies like in the marketplace by the Leville. The breeze blew through his hair, unobstructed by tall buildings, and it felt somewhat good to feel the grass and dirt underneath his boots.

He wandered about the grounds for a while in search of his brothers in arms. Gladio had just returned as well, a month or so prior to Ignis, having also had to tear himself away from his new family. His wife, Cam, had just given birth to twin girls—Violet and Daisy—and they had become his entire world. It brought a smile to his face, the thought of Gladio, this giant tank of a man with two tiny baby girls cradled in his arms. Ignis always knew he would be a good father, and seeing that aspect of his destiny being fulfilled warmed his heart.

Gladio greeted Ignis with a pat on the shoulder. “Good to have you back, Iggy.”

Ignis gave a small nod. “Glad to be back. Although it was difficult saying goodbye to Raine and the children. Hopefully we’ll be able to return to our families sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah,” Gladio agreed. “I try to video call Cam and the girls as much as I can now that I’m away. It sucks, because I just don’t want to miss any of their firsts, you know? And I won’t lie, I feel kinda bad leaving Cam alone with both of them when they’re only a few months old.”

“Cam is a resourceful woman, I’m sure she will manage,” Ignis responded, his tone honest. He admired Cam’s spirit, how hard she had to fight to rebuild her life from all the destruction. Ignis couldn’t help but notice though that there was someone missing. “Where is Prompto?”

“Oh,” Gladio jerked his thumb to the lookout post, illuminated by a single overhead light. “Sulking by the surveillance point. He won’t talk to me. Maybe you can see what’s eating him.”

Ignis hummed curiously and made his way over. He could navigate Hunter HQ easily, having memorized the layout of the area long ago. He counted off the twenty steps from the ground to the platform, his hand sliding along the railing in case he lost his balance.

He could sense his friend’s presence, and called out his name. “Prompto?”

Prompto turned his head at the sound of Ignis’ voice. “Oh, hey,” he greeted with much less enthusiasm than Ignis was used to hearing. Ignis made his way over, leaning his forearms against the railing, unknowingly copying Prompto’s posture.

“What are you doing up here alone?” Ignis inquired. “It’s not like you to want to isolate yourself from everyone. Especially when there’s about to be a hunt that takes place.”

He could sense Prompto’s hesitation as he shifted uncomfortably, the wooden boards creaking as he adjusted his weight from one foot to another.

“Just thinking.”

Ignis raised an eyebrow over the rim of his tinted shades. “About what?”

Prompto sighed, hanging his head low. “I don’t know. I guess…it’s just hard sometimes, you know? It’s hard to always be here, because I’m not needed anywhere else. Does that make sense?”

Ignis was quiet for a moment. “I’m not sure I follow.”

Another shaky exhale, and the wringing of wrists. “Gladio and Cam finally found each other after all this time and just started a family. You and Raine had Lucas, and now you have Aurora. It’s just…the two of you left to go be dads, and now that you’re here, you both have someone back home waiting for you.” Prompto swallowed, his throat suddenly bone dry. “I don’t have anyone.”


“I don’t even have a soulmate marking, Ignis,” Prompto said, almost helplessly, his emotions starting to bubble to the surface. “I’ve tried connecting with people, and it never works. Every single time, there’s someone else, another person they’re tied to, another reason that I’m meant to be alone. I was born to be an experiment, not someone to be loved.”

“My friend,” Ignis placed a hand on his shoulder. “You know that’s not true.”

“But it is,” Prompto insisted, bitterness lacing his tone, his fingers gripping the edge of the railing so hard that it started to hurt. “I wasn’t deemed worthy enough by the Six, so I’m just going to have to live the rest of my life, watching as your kids grow up, watch Cam and Gladio have another anniversary, just sitting on the sidelines as everyone around me moves on and I’m just stuck in limbo.”

Ignis’ lips pressed together in a thin line as he heard Prompto’s breath hitch. “Prompto,” he said gently, his voice soothing as he helped ease Prompto’s hands off the railing to face him. “Your time will come. No one knows what the future holds. I know that you’re in pain, and I will not tell you to deny it, because denying it would be a disservice to your heart. But know that you are, and have always been, worthy of love. It may take time to find you, but it will find you. And once it does, you will know.”

Prompto hastily wiped his eye. “Yeah. I guess.”

“Come, my friend,” Ignis patted Prompto on the back. “Dave has called us for a meeting, and Gladio’s been wanting to speak with you. Let us join the others.”

He knew that his words may have helped slightly, but there was such a dense weight on Prompto’s shoulders that Ignis wasn’t sure if it would ever be lifted. He’d always battled with the idea that he wasn’t good enough, and seeing his other friends move on and evolve without him was a sort of heartache he didn’t know how to soothe.

“Okay,” Prompto agreed. “I just hope the hunt isn’t going to be for a bunch of Red Giants like last time. I think one of them singed me pretty good, I got this weird burn on my thigh. Looks kind of like a crow’s foot, and I haven’t had a chance to have a medic look at it yet.”

Ignis paused for a moment before giving his head a slight shake. “In any case, the others are waiting for us. Civilization may have crumbled, but we must still mind our manners when it comes to duty and protocol.”

“Yes sir,” Prompto saluted in jest, following his friend down the steps, trying his best to ignore the pain that still weighed heavily on his heart.

camp f*ck

pairing: park jimin x oc
genre/rating: smut, mature themes, language
words: 11.3k
summary: you’re working at a camp (kinda like camp rock) sexually frustrated and very single, when the camp suddenly decides to make more money by opening their doors for older “kids”. you come across park jimin, who makes it more than clear that he would like to get to know you better in more than one way

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I promised @legojacques a ficlet about Kent and sticky notes. 

side note: is it possible to write fics about fics you haven’t published yet?

Things Kent knows about himself:

He’s petty.

He’s more intelligent than people give him credit for.

He forgets things really easily.

Super easily, actually. He remembers being in the Q and having the best memory out of anyone on the team. Nowadays, he’s lucky if he can remember something long enough to write it down. He read somewhere about trauma inducing memory loss. Kent doesn’t care to figure out if it’s from physical or emotional trauma since he’s no stranger to both, and they equally suck.

Which is why he’s taken to carrying around a pen and a pack of sticky notes wherever he goes. Kit hates it because sometimes she’ll go roaming around, and find them inexplicably stuck to her tail. The cleaning company also hates them because it’s against their policy to move personal items. Which means his kitchen cabinets haven’t been wiped down in a solid month. Jeff hates them the most because if Kent so much as tries to leave a message for him on the fridge, it gets lost under fifteen different notes about what they need to fix for next week’s drills.

For Kent, however, they’re a great way to keep track of his thoughts. Just last week, he’d woken up in the middle of the night, grabbed a glass of milk, wrote down exactly what they need to get an edge over Seattle, and fell back asleep. It took them twenty minutes to find it the next morning. But they did beat the Schooners.

Unfortunately, there were a few instances where sticky notes were more to his detriment than anything. Case in point, he woke up a few mornings ago to find a sticky note on his bathroom mirror. It had a doodle of a duck with a heart next to it. Underneath the words “rematch island” were scrawled in his signature drunk-cursive. Kent only writes cursive when he’s drunk.

Since then, he’s cycled through almost every possibility imaginable. But he still can’t figure out what rematch island means. They’re on a roadie through part of the Metropolitan division. He keeps thinking that something will come up; something will give him an inkling as to what he’s forgetting. A hand claps his shoulder, stirring him out of his thoughts.

Jeff is chatting with him amicably as their flight descends into New York. But it takes a few seconds for Kent’s mind to process his words.

“What?” Kent finally asks.

Troy sighs, “how much of that didja hear?”

Kent winces slowly. “Something about a party?”

Jeff looks at him neutrally. “Close enough,” he decides. “She said it doesn’t start until ten so we’ll have plenty of time to shower up.”

“Who did?”

“Jesus, Parse,” Troy berates. “Lardo? She called on Saturday. I thought you wrote it down somewhere?”

Kent’s eyes furrow. His mind clicks everything into place. They were playing the Islanders tonight. Lardo had made him promise a beer pong rematch after last month’s victory over her. The duck, the heart—of fucking course. He bites the inside of his cheek.

Jeff raises his eyebrows, frowning in confusion. “What?”

“I forgot what my note meant.” Kent blushes. He fishes it out of his back pocket, handing it to Jeff.

Jeff stares at it for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter.

“Quit it,” Kent grumbles.

“I’m sending this her, right now,” he chuckles. He pulls out his phone and opens snapchat.

“Babe,” Kent whines.

“Don’t ‘babe’ me,” Troy counters. “What’s the point of metamours if I can’t chirp you?”

Kent tries in vain to suppress a grin. He loves his boyfriend…and his girlfriend. They shutout the Islanders. A few hours later, they’re fashionably late showing up at Lardo and Camilla’s apartment. Jeff kisses him earnestly before dragging Carter, Goose, and Perry to kitchen for drinks. He finds Lardo out on the balcony, laughing with one of her friends from work. Kent hugs her from behind, causing Larissa to yelp in surprise.

“Fuck, you scared me,” she grunts.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

She turns to him, offering a sip of her mixed drink.

“I heard you spaced on me,” Lardo chirps, clearly amused.

“I wrote it down,” Kent swears.

“I saw.” She pulls out her phone to show him the screenshot she took. “You’re getting better at drawing ducks.”

He beams excitedly. “Yea? You liked it?”

Lardo smirks as she gets on her tip toes to kiss him. “I’d give it an A for effort. B for execution.”

Kent chuckles. “I’ll take it.”




“Wait… a-are you saying you’re kicking me out?” I squealed.

He looked like he didn’t want to repeat it, but I could tell from the look on his face that that was exactly what he was saying.
My landlord was kicking me out.
Three nights before, I’d sat in silence until the police arrived at my flat. They’d had a quick look around, and it genuinely barely looked like they’d done a thing, and then they told me they would get in touch, and then they left.
Harry had sat in silence with me.
We’d been close. Close to opening up, and close to me finally talking about my feelings, but as I sat there in my trashed, empty flat, I couldn’t find the words to say. Not just about that, but about anything. I was totally lifeless.
Then he’d gone home, and I’d gone up to sleep on Mo’s sofa.
And I hadn’t spoken with him since.
No matter how many times he’d called.

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Character Development- Part 1- April

Description: Dan’s gay. Phil’s straight. They meet when Phil dates one of Dan’s friends. When everyone but Dan betrays Phil, they manage to become best friends. Then, it’s up to them to brave the first year of high school together. However, Dan has some underlying feelings he just can’t shake. And Phil… Well, that’s where the character development comes in.

Genre: Fluff, some angst in the future 

Word Count: 1254

A/N: This first chapter is kinda boring to be honest but I swear it starts getting much better in the next chapter this is kinda just like the introduction with necessary information to push the story forward just stick with me okay 

“Louise, Dan, you’ll be upstairs decorating the locker.” Dan nodded, ecstatic about the birthday surprise for Janice. He found it so cute that Phil was organizing the whole thing for his girlfriend. “And I’ll be downstairs in the band room with Janice, distracting her.” Dan watched as Phil jotted down the entire plan in his notebook.

“But I always go to the band room with Janice in the morning as soon as we get off the bus. Won’t she be suspicious if I leave her?” Louise questioned.

“Just say you need to use the bathroom. She’ll be fine, I’ll be with her.” Louise nodded, satisfied with Phil’s response. Dan didn’t blame her for questioning, though. Everything had to be perfect for Janice’s 13th birthday.

“So…” Dan could sense the devious tone in Louise’s voice when she spoke to Phil. “Are you going to kiss her?”

Phil went red. “I don’t know… I want to, but I also don’t, you know? I don’t know if we’re ready.”

Dan decided to butt in before this went too far. “It’s your choice, Phil. Do what you think is right.”

“I do have this ring to give her, though. I don’t have it now, but I’ll bring it for her birthday tomorrow. If I’m going to do it, that would be the time.” Phil slammed his notebook shut as Janice walked up to the lunch table with her tray.

“Hey, guys!”

“Oh, hey, Janice.” She sat down beside Phil, digging into her lunch.

“Funny story,” Janice said. “This morning, on the bus, a little kid blew a snot rocket all over Jared.” The entire group burst out laughing. Jared was the most annoying kid in the 7th grade, and it was always hilarious when he finally met his downfall.

“Little kids…” Dan sighed. His school system kinda was a piece of shit. The county was so small that they didn’t have a middle school; only an elementary school and a high school. The next year they would finally escape. But until then, they were stuck with kindergarteners and their snot rockets.

“Are you excited for your birthday tomorrow, Janice?” Louise asked, trying to make conversation.

“I guess so. It’s just… Growing up is so weird.”

“True that,” Phil chimed in.

“But I am excited for the party you’re all invited to Saturday. Except you, Phil.”

“What? Why?” Phil retorted, offended.

“My parents won’t let me have boys over.”

“What about Dan?”

“Well, he’s gay.”

The group laughed. “She’s not wrong,” Dan responded. It was common knowledge that he was incredibly gay. It was quite obvious. He’d been hanging out with girls and swooning over boys since the second grade. Although he couldn’t quite remember what, or who, for that matter, made him realize he was gay.

“How rude!” Phil said, jokingly angry about not being invited to Janice’s party.

“Hey.” Dan grinned. “Sometimes it pays to be fabulous.”

“You didn’t kiss her?” Louise said as the three walked down the hallway at the end of Janice’s birthday.

“It just didn’t seem like the right time.” Phil shrugged.

“Lay off him!” said Dan. “It’ll happen eventually. Besides, we’ve got more important things to worry about. In case you’ve forgotten, tomorrow is the band concert!”

“True that.” If there was one phrase that described Dan’s entire group of friends, it would be ‘band nerds’. Dan, Phil, and Janice all played percussion, and Louise played flute. With their spring concert the next day, they could only hope they were ready. And if they weren’t, they’d have a whole day at the high school the next day to prepare. Bless the all day band day.

“Did I hear band concert?” Janice came up from behind the three, squeezing in between Dan and Phil as they walked. “Oh yeah, that reminds me. I won’t be there for the all day band day. I have to get my spacer put in. I’ll be there around lunch though.”

“You’ll be fine,” Phil said. “Before lunch is just sectionals anyway. “Dan and I can survive alone through that bullshit.”

“Yeah. We’ll see you after lunch!”

“Okay, cool. See you guys tomorrow!” The four diverged to their buses and Dan took his usual seat in the back after wading through a sea of snotty, tiny children. Only one more month, he reminded himself. Only one more month.

It wasn’t until they arrived at the high school and set up their sectionals that Dan realized how little time he’d spent with Phil one on one. Phil had just joined their friend group when he started dating Janice a few weeks ago, and since then the entire group was together. But since Janice wasn’t there for sectionals and Dan didn’t know anyone else there, he ended up spending the morning with Phil.

Dan rolled his eyes as the percussion instructor told them to play on the backs of chairs. “Oh great. More trash.” Phil chuckled.

They were told to play straight eighth notes, but instead Dan played one of the rhythms from one of the songs they would be playing in the concert. Phil took notice and began playing a rhythm of his own. The two rocked out in the far corner as the instructor corrected the sixth graders. Laughing, they stopped as they were cut off by the conductor. Phil was actually pretty cool, Dan realized. For a straight guy, he was really accepting and nice, and Dan appreciated it. Finishing up their exercise, they broke for lunch.

“Where’s Janice? She said she’d be back for lunch and lunch is almost over.” Twenty minutes later, Dan and Phil were both starting to become concerned.

“There she is!” Dan said, pointing down to the gym floor as he took a bite of his sandwich. They were eating antisocially at the top of the bleachers.

“Hey, guys!” Janice climbed the bleachers and sat down with her lunch. “How’s it going?”

“Good,” Phil replied. “Sectionals were boring. The actual runthroughs start this afternoon. Can’t wait for the concert, man!”

“Me neither,” Dan said. “Only a few more hours…”

“Where’s Phil?” Dan asked Louise. “I hear he’s wearing a purple bow tie.”

“Oh my gosh, I need to see this. Let’s find him and touch the bow tie. It has to be done.”


“Dan, check the bathroom.” Dan went into the boys’ bathroom and made his way through all the boys changing into their concert clothes. Finally, he found Phil combing his hair.

“Oh my gosh, the bow tie!” Dan poked it before bringing Phil out to Louise and letting her do the same.

“Yeah, yeah. The bow tie is great, I know. Let’s just get out of this madhouse and get some fresh air.” Agreeing with Phil, they all walked outside to find Janice and a few of their other friends chatting. Dan pulled out his phone, pulling up the camera.

“Hey guys! Smile!” Dan took a selfie of them all before Phil stole the phone out of his hand. “Hey!”

He held the phone up, taking a picture of him and Janice. She took it and took a few of herself before taking a picture of the whole group. “Hey, Kaden! Take a picture of us all!” The group lined up and pointed cheesily at the camera as Kaden, an outsider who Janice knew, took the pictures.

Taking his phone back, Dan smiled as he looked through the pictures. The one of Janice and Phil was especially cute. The filter they had put on it looked great, and the two looked wonderful in their concert clothes. Dan was happy his friend had finally found such a great guy. The future looked bright for them all. After all, they only had one month left before the summer before high school. What could possibly go wrong?

playing with fire | taehyung (2)

genre: fluff, fuckboy taehyung, smut (not yet)

pairing: taehyung x reader 

summary: you knew what you were in for, but it was too late to get out. besides, it’s not like you wanted too anyways. 

a/n : i got really good feedback from the first chapter. so here is part 2! hope it wasn’t crappy. 

regular - present 

italics - flashback

also part one is here 

 So. You were now the most hated girl in school. Word got around, and it got around quick. Everyone now knows that Taehyung had asked you out, and now the whole neighborhood (over exaggerating) knows that you said no. The whole world has basically come to an end. You’ve never received so much death glares from anyone in your life. But you didn’t know what the big deal was. Shouldn’t all of Taehyung’s whores be happy you said no? Meaning they could’ve had him all to themselves. But, no, Taehyung wanted you. 

“I honestly wish I was there.” Park Jimin laughs as he stuff fries in his mouth. Jimin was one of Taehyung best friends. Those two were inseparable. Where they went, trouble follows. And it’s been that way since they were just kids. “I bet the look on your face was priceless!” 

“Maybe she’s busy on Saturday. You should ask again hyung,” Jeon Jungkook tries to encourage his older friend. Jungkook was a grade bellow the two, but they had all met in music class, and just stuck with each other till then. 

Taehyung tunes out his friends and stared at you across the lunchroom. It frustrated him that you weren’t eating and just scribbling in your notebook. But it frustrated him even more that you rejected him. It wasn’t even a harsh rejection. It was plain old polite. 

“She’s so hot.” Jimin sighs out, taking a look at you. 

This caught Taehyung’s attention. He turned to Jimin giving him a glare. “Shut. Up.” He says lowly. 

“Hey Y/N!” Jimin calls out, waving his hand frantically in the air. 

You had looked up confusingly, trying to find the source that said your name. Once you did, you rolled her eyes. Jimin wasn’t your favorite person in the world. The two of you had fallouts a few years back. But that’s a story for another time. Jimin didn’t realize that he caught the entire cafeteria’s attention. 

This resulted you into being so embarrassed and quickly gathering your things and rushing out. Taehyung didn’t waste no time rushing after you. Not only did he want answers, but he just wanted to make sure you were okay. 

Had had caught you in the staircase and grabbed your wrist. You were startled a bit so your books dropped. “Oh, sorry.” Taehyung quickly bent down and picked them up. He handed them to you and you took it. You were ready to leave again but Taehyung wasn’t having it.

“Wait Y/N, can we talk for a sec? Please.” He pleaded. You sighed and sat down on the staircase placing your books next to you. He followed your movements and sighed. “Are you okay. I’m sorry about what Jimin did, he was being himself.”

You restrained yourself from laughing because you knew exactly what Jimin was like. And he hasn’t changed one bit. “Look it’s fine. The problem is the entire school will now be on my case even more. Even the petty 9th grade girls.” You groaned. 

“People have been messing with you?” Taehyung asked you. The change of tone is his voice frightened you a bit, in an exiting way though, if that makes sense. He was being protective and part of you liked it. “No, well not yet atleast. If you keep this up. The girls you fuck are kinda still lingering on to you, if you don’t know.” You say to him.

Taehyung’s words were caught in his throat. Almost as if he didn’t expect you to know that he fucks around a lot. How could you not? Taehyung was the schools biggest player. Meaning he had over a dozen girlfriend and slept with thousands of people. 

“I—uh—Y/N,” He stuttered as he spoke.

 "You don’t have to explain yourself to me Taehyung.“ You say to him, before getting up. Taehyung’s actions speak for them-self. 

 "So, that’s why you won’t go out with me!” He blurted out. You stoped in your tracks and looked at him. 

“Yeah, pretty much. Plus, I don’t really want date right now. Maybe not ever.” You tell him truthfully. It was best if you just forget about boys. 

 "Well, can I change your mind?“ He asked. 

 "No not really. It doesn’t matter what you do.” You say honestly. You hoped you weren’t sounding too harsh. Their was plenty other girls he can fuck over. You didn’t know why he was so persistent on you. “I’m nothing special Taehyung. Just find other girls to date.” You gave him a slight smile before leaving.

But what you said is beyond what Taehyung thinks. Ever since he started noticing you about 3 months ago. He ended his player ways. He stopped going to parties, texting girls, sleeping with girls, he even goes to sleep at a decent time now. He’s completely changed, and it scared him. It scared him that a simple girl like you can bring out the good in someone. He was so thankful for the day you two met.


You ran out of your boyfriend’s house only to burst out in tears. You couldn’t let him see you cry. You were stronger then that, and only little girls cried. You couldn’t show him that what he said about you was real. That you were just a little girl who doesn’t know any better. That’s what he told you. And that’s how you two broke up. 

Sure, there was a big age difference between you two. You were now 17 and he was 21 in college. But, their was sparks the first time you met, and there’s been sparks ever since. Being with him never made you so happy. And after a year of being with each other, it’s all down hill. 

So what could you do—but just cry. Cry and randomly walk to wherever you feet takes you. Your eyes so blurry, that you didn’t even see the car coming your way. All you heard was the sound of a horn and a yell. Right, before you felt yourself being pulled back roughly. 

“Yah! Are you crazy?” A deep voice asked frantically. 

You were still processing what just happened so you couldn’t give the person, (which you confirmed was a guy due to voice) a response. So he kept asking again. You found yourself slowly nodding. 

“I need you to speak for me. So I know your not going into shock or anything.” He says to you.

What a dumbass you thought. “If I was going into shock don’t you think I would be going into shock.”  You scolded at him. 

“Well shit okay, your fine then.” He says. You suddenly regret they way you answered him. He just saved your life. 

“I’m so sorry. Thank you, a lot.” You say looking down.

“Yeah, your welcome. Are you okay?” He asked you. 

You finally found the courage to look at the guy who just saved you from your impending death. And you knew who he was. It was Kim Taehyung. He was in your year. 

“Uh, yeah. I’m okay.” You manage to say through you sniffles. Your tears were clearly evident, so there was no point to lie. 

Taehyung slightly frowned. “Girls always say that and they never really mean it. Do you wanna talk about it or something? I don’t know if that helps. I most likely won’t care, either.” He tells you. 

Wow, he was an asshole, you thought. You never talked to Taehyung in your life. But you knew that he was the school’s biggest dick and fuckboy. 

“Thanks for somewhat caring, but no.” You say before walking away. After walking for a while you stopped and sat on the sidewalk. You hugged your knees against your chest and started crying even more. You were hurt. What were you suppose to do when the best thing that ever happened to you, doesn’t love you anymore. 

“Hey!” A famliar voice spoke to you. 

You felt a brush by your shoulder and looked up to only see Taehyung taking a seat right next to you. 

“What the hell! Did you follow me?” You asked him, clearly shocked that he was even here right now.

“Yeah, I did. It wouldn’t have been nice to just leave a girl out this late. So the least I can do is drive you home.” He says to you, messing with his brown hair. “But first we’re gonna talk. Because you need to stop crying.”

“I’m okay honestly” You try to lie. But more pain builded up and more tears spilled out of your eyes. 

“Just vent to me already!” Taehyung raised his voice. 

Which shut your right up. You tried taking deep breaths you calm yourself down so you could tell him what’s wrong. “My b-boyfriend. Just broke up with me.” You say softly. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Breaks ups are the worst.” Taeyung laughs to himself. “It’s nice; meeting someone, falling for them, getting so attached. You feel like anything is possible. Then it sucks when the greatest thing that ever happened to you, all turns to shit….like it’s not even fucking worth it.” 

Your cries stopped. And you listened to what he had to say. 

“It hurts,” You whispered, looking down,

“I know; it hurts like hell. But it won’t forever. That’s why I don’t do relationships. I never had a girlfriend, and I don’t think I want too for a long time. It’s good to just be to yourself. Have your own fun. You don’t need anyone to make you happy all the time, because they won’t be there all the time.” He tells you.

You couldn’t believe that Kim Taehyung was lecturing you. And you couldn’t believe that he was absolutely right. 

“You ever been in love?” You asked him, looking up to see that he was already looking down on you.

Taheyung shook his head. 

“Well, this was my first time. We’re too young for this shit anyways. But, it felt amazing. I’ve never smiled so much. Everyday it was something new and I would go to sleep smiling because I couldn’t wait for what was happening next. I guess my hopes were too high.” You say.

“What’s your name?” He asked you,

“Y/N,” You answer.

“Well, Y/N. It’s time to hope that you’ll get over this break up. Forget the guy. And start remembering you,” He says before standing up. 

“Thanks Taehyung. You actually made me feel better,” You smiled shyly. 

“You know my name?’ He asked confusingly.

“We go to the same school.” You sigh. 

“Oh. Makes sense. Now let’s get you home.” He gives you a smile. 

 pART 2! this was also crappy. i swear i’ll try to write better, as the story goes along. because i know i can do way better then this. also sorry for any mistakes. hope you like it. also you should have my notifications on, so you don’t miss a new chapter :) 

But that was before (Part 2)| Stiles Fluff/Smut

But that was before Part 1

Plot: STILES X READER its match day and you and stiles finally get to talk about what happened at the party.
*Smut warning

Originally posted by unable2find

You walked out of class to find Lydia already standing there, holding two coffee cups. As you walked over, she handed one to you with a smile.
“Double shot vanilla latte, before you ask” Lydia adds as you smile and you take a sip. You hadn’t realised how much you were in need of caffeine. You thanked her as you both headed towards the lacrosse field. There was a big match against Devenford Prep so there was no way you were missing it. Coach was too preoccupied screaming at Greenberg to notice you and Lydia slip into the stands. You were thankful that it was summer so that you didn’t have to wait for the mental benches to warm beneath you; the sun had already done it for you.
Below you, coach’s discussion with the team had finished and they broke into their usual sub-groups. Liam, Kira, Scott and Stiles being one of them. Stiles instinctively scanned the benches for familiar faces and his eyes found you. Not you and Lydia, just you. You didn’t exactly know how you knew the difference but it just felt different. His eyes locked with yours and his face lit up with that adorable crooked grin that makes you want to kiss him. Well, more than usual.
“So,” Lydia coughed breaking your daze “are we going to talk about what happened on Friday?”

Keep reading

Out Of Nothing At All - Chapter Eighteen

“Oh fuuuck Spencer…… ” your breath was coming in long moans, your back arching off the bed as your hands tangled in his messy curls, pressing his head and therefore his mouth closer to you.

His tongue increased its movements between your legs, his fingers joining in slipping inside of you and thrusting in and out, slowly at first and then faster and faster as your whines got louder and more intense.

You were nearly there…. so nearly there, just a bit harder, a bit more pressure and you’d come. You needed this orgasm so badly, the tension between your thighs building to an almost painful point.

“You taste so good Y/N,” he pulled away slightly, his breath warm and tickly on your clit.

“Oh god…. Don’t stop.” Glancing down you saw him smirking at your moans, his tongue swiping over his already wet lips.

“So you want me to continue then?” his eyebrows raised suggestively at you as he curled his long fingers inside your slit. 

“YES….. Fuck…. ”

Lowering his mouth back down Spencer sucked hard, pulling your sensitive bud between his lips.

“Oh god….”

“Y/N?……. Y/N….. Wake up….. ”


That same voice that had been teasing you moments ago was stood by your bed, dragging yourself from your dream.


Forcing your eyes open you rolled over in your bed, feeling the stickiness between your thighs… Ugh.

“Sorry but your alarms been going off for the past five minutes. Can you not hear it?”

Well now you could. You reached out and hit the alarm on your bedside table off. Spencer was stood there already dressed for work, cup of coffee in hand.

“Balls…. Sorry. I’ll get up.”

“Okay. We’ve got plenty of time still. Just…… You’re normally up by now is all. Everything okay?”

Please leave…. Please get out of the bedroom.

“Yep…. Just struggled to sleep last night that’s all.”

You’d struggled to sleep because you’d been trying for two hours to find a position in which you could masturbate without getting hand or wrist cramp. This past week you’d been so ridiculously horny you were sure you were going to start staining seats at work. Everything was turning you on…. EVERYTHING. Spencer bending over, Spencer drinking coffee, driving over speed humps on the road, JJ in the tight little skirt she’d worn two days ago. Even Rossi… He’d started speaking Italian to Kate, telling her some kind of joke and just….. Fuuuck.

You’d read that some women got incredibly horny during their pregnancy and apparently you were one of them. It was ridiculous. But this stupid bump was in the way and you couldn’t do anything for more than a few seconds without getting a pain in your hand. The angle was too awkward. 

And the water pressure in your house was terrible, so the shower head was totally out of the question too. This was the second day in a row that you’d had a…..wet dream. The first one had been much worse and you’d woken up with the spare pillow between your legs, actually humping it.

Thank god Reid hadn’t walked in then.

Or… What if he did? Maybe he would have offered to take that pillows place? Hmmm.


You’d ride that sooo ha….

Stop it!

Get up. Shower. Clean yourself up and go to work. Do NOT think about Spencers mouth.

That sexy little tongue poking out between his lips. Or how he caught his bottom lip with his teeth.


Work was uneventful, you spending most of the day hiding out in Penelope’s bat cave. The team didn’t have a case so you were doing a lot of filing. Boring, boring filing.

“So…. How’s things between you and the genius?” Penelope asked as casually as she could.

“Reid? Fine, I guess, we’ve been getting on really well. I still wish I could punch him in the face sometimes, especially when he uses all the coffee and doesn’t replace it, but yeah. So far, so good.”

It had been a few weeks since the “visit” with your mom. You’d told Pen about how he’d told her off, Penny loving every second of it. She adored it when Reid got pissy with people, providing it wasn’t her of course.

You HADN’T told her about that awkward moment in the motel room. The….. kiss. You hadn’t told anyone. You and Spencer hadn’t even spoken about it, waking up the next day and just continuing about your routine as normal. You’d been waiting to see if he’d bring it up first but he hadn’t…. And you didn’t want to bring it up because… Well, what was there to say? What did it even mean?

The door to Pen’s office opened and Spencer walked in.

“Y/N….. Erm, I might not be home until quite late tonight. An old friend is in town and they messaged asking me if I wanted to meet up. Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Yeah sure…. I’ll bother this lovely lady here if I need company. Just let me know when you’re on you’re way back so I don’t have another heart attack and think someone’s breaking in like last time you went out with Morgan, okay.”

“Okay. See you later.”

He grinned, leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind him. Turning to Penny you could see she was looking at you strangely.

“What’s that look for?” you asked her.

“You realise that when he walked in, you looked him up and down and then bent forward, pushing your boobs together. Classic ‘look at what I’ve got for you’ move. Which you just did for Spencer.”

“I did not!” You hadn’t, had you?

“You totally did. And now you’re blushing. What the hell Y/N?”

Awww shit. You shifted on your chair uncomfortably.

“Oh my god! You like him!”

“I don’t… I swear I don’t. It’s just….. Ugh. Pregnancy hormones. It’s like the baby wants me to make another one…. ”

“Ahhh yes. You’ve reached the ‘I want to fuck everything and anything but can’t’ stage. I remember JJ going through that. She spent a lot of time in here hiding when that happened.“

“Yes! It’s sooo not fair. And at least JJ had Will to help her out.”

“Well….. You do kinda have someone.”

“Pen I love you to pieces but I really don’t think you’d appreciate me sitting on your face right now.”

She threw one of her tiny stuffed animals at you, laughing. “Not me silly. The person who put the baby there in the first place!”


“No freaking way.”

“If you asked him…… You know he would.”

“I’m not asking the father of my unborn child to get me off. That’s not how it normally works.”

“Oddly enough Y/N, it IS how it normally works….. ”

Oh yeah.


But no.

Work finished you made the trip home by yourself, swinging by your local take out for some Chinese food. Once home you ate by yourself before taking a long bath. You’d intended on starting your new book, but five pages in you could feel your eyes starting to droop.

You woke up an hour or so later, the bath water now cold. Checking your phone quickly you saw it was 9:30pm. No messages from Spencer which was strange. Since he’d found out about the pregnancy, he’d barely gone two hours without checking up on you. And the last time you’d spoke had been at six, just before you left HQ for the day.

“Any idea what time you’ll be back?” You shot off a quick message. Not wanting to sound like a nagging wife, just wanting an idea as to whether you should lock up now and go to bed.

You finished up in the bath pulling your pajamas on and drying your hair, before going back downstairs to see what was on the TV.

Still nothing from Reid. Okay, give it until 11pm maybe. Although it really wasn’t normal for him to go this long. Had something happened? Maybe Morgan knew where he was? You texted him quickly, you know, just wanting to make sure Spencer was safe.

A reply a few moments later. “Baby girl, he’s with Austin. That hot bartender friend of his. He said he’d told you? Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. I’d just forgotten that’s all. Baby brain. ”


Hot bartender?


A memory came back from nearly eight months ago.

“I prefer not to have random hook ups. I have an arrangement with someone who I see every few months when they come into town.”


So you were here carrying HIS child, and feeling helplessly turned on…. And he was with some girl, getting his end away?

No fucking way.

You picked up your phone, calling him. He answered on the third ring.

“Y/N…. Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?”

“The baby is fine Spencer. I was just wondering if you were planning on coming home tonight? You’ve not replied to any of my messages. Where are you anyway?” you tried to keep your voice as smooth and calm as possible. He hadn’t told you where he was going, let’s see if he’d be honest.

“Just at a friends….. I won’t be too much longer I don’t think. Why? W-What’s up?”

Ahhh, the nervous stutter.

“What friend Spencer…. Anyone I know?”

You could hear muffled noises, and a shuffling sound, “No one you know…”

“Spencer…. Come back to bed sexy.” A female voice rang out in the distant background.

“Come back to bed…. SEXY?!?!”

He coughed loudly… “Erm…..”

“Does she know you’ve got a baby on the way…. Sexy? I hope you’re remembering the condom with her. Or shall I expect a little half brother or sister in nine months?” Wow, you knew you were being a bitch but you couldn’t stop it.

He sighed loudly, “Look, could you please just…stop? I’m kinda in the middle of something and you’re being unreasonable. I’ll be home soon, ok?”

“Yeah, sure sounds like you’re in the middle of something. Sounds like you’re in the middle of someone actually. Dr Spencer Reid, man whore. Who knew eh?”

“I-I’m not…we’re not…I mean…oh for fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m not even going to explain. Just…I’ll come home.”

“Don’t bother Spencer. Stay with your little slut…” Ending the call quickly, you threw your phone down. How fucking dare he!

Seething, you locked up before grabbing your phone and going to bed, throwing yourself down onto the mattress.

How dare he be out fucking some random girl when you were stuck here, pregnant with his child. Lying on the bed, you tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. Ten minutes later you heard a loud slam and an angry voice calling your name, followed by feet pounding up the stairs.

Your bedroom door flew open, Spencer stood there, his hair a messy birds nest and his clothes in dissaray.

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, glaring at the man stood in front of you. “I thought I told you not to bother coming home”

“I know you didn’t actually mean that, you’re just angry with me for whatever reason that I hope you’re gonna explain to me right now.” He stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m angry that you didn’t have the decency to tell me where you were actually going or what you were actually doing…. Or perhaps I should say who you were doing.”

“I don’t know what you think that was but I’m not going into any detail I just…I just fail to see why I suddenly need to tell you where I’m going and with whom.”

“What I think that was? Oh come on Spencer…. Come back to bed sexy….don’t tell me you were just reading her a fucking bed time story. And as for why you should tell me where you’re going. Perhaps because I’ve got your child inside of my womb. Christ for someone so smart you’re a fucking dick sometimes.”

“What went on is none of your business and it has nothing to do with our child! I went out for a couple of hours for some private time like I told you I would. How does that make me a dick?!” His eyes narrowed at you.

“It has everything to do with our child when you’re out fucking some random girl… Is she gonna be our daughter’s step mommy Reid? Is that it? And don’t even try to tell me that’s not what you’ve been doing. Your fly is still down and your shirt’s buttoned up wrong.”

Watching him quickly glancing down and seeing his mistake would have been amusing if it wasn’t for the situation.

“I-I…ok fine! I had sex. Big fucking deal! She’s not some random girl, and she’s certainly not a slut like you suggested over the phone. Me and her get together every now and then to enjoy each other’s company. Come to think of it I actually told about her, ages ago.”

“Yes, you did tell me. But I kinda of presumed that, what with you having a baby on the way, you’d be able to keep your dick in your pants. It’s not like I can go around fucking any guy I want to can I?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him and mimicking his choice of words nastily. “Enjoying each others company, is that what we did Reid? Enjoyed each others company that one night.”

“What do you want me to say?! Would you prefer I said me and her occasionally have steaming hot sex? What are you really angry about anyways? Does it really bother you that I got laid or are you just upset that you can’t right now? Because I empathise, I do, but you don’t get to decide that I can’t have a sex life!”

Steaming hot sex……ugh. And the annoying thing; it probably was.

“Why would I be upset that you got laid Spencer? You’re right, you can go out and bang anyone you want to. And by that right, so can I. You know I bet if I look online, they’ll be a ton a men, probably within a ten mile radius of here that have a pregnancy fetish. I’ll make contact with one of them shall I? Oh wait…. I distinctly remember someone saying weeks ago that it would be ‘inappropriate for me to date someone else, when I had your child inside of me’. So if it’s inappropriate for me, then why is it okay for you? If I can’t do it, then you fucking well shouldn’t be allowed to either. You should have to suffer as much I am!!! ”

“Because I don’t have a child inside of me that’s gonna get poked if I have sex with someone! Can we please just stop arguing about this? You know I don’t have sex often…can you please just let me have this one thing and stop trying to make me feel bad and embarrassed about it?”

No, you couldn’t.

“Poked? Reid, you know better than anyone that that wouldn’t happen. Plenty of women have sex during pregnancy, hell it’s even recommended as a labour inducer. And the reason you don’t have sex very often….. Because you never ask for it! Spencer you could have it from any woman you wanted, so stop pulling the shy, awkward, nerd act. It’s fine… I’ll let you have this one thing. Go back… Fuck her again, bang her so hard, until she’s screaming your name. Maybe I’ll go and see what Aaron is up to. Or Derek. If it’s okay for you then it’s okay for me. I shouldn’t have to sit here horny as FUCK!”

“Well it sure as hell would be a bit odd to have another man’s genitals that close to our baby now wouldn’t it?! And don’t you worry I don’t need to go back to make her scream my name because frankly, she already did. Just stop trying to wind me up and tell me what you actually want to hear from me so I can go to bed! Oh and if you’re so horny then…I don’t know…help yourself maybe?”

“Do you not think I’ve haven’t already tried!! I’m a freaking expert at taking care of myself normally, but I have this HUGE unattractive baby bump in the way. I can’t get myself off and you’re out getting yourself and someone else off. If I’m not allowed to get another man to help me do it, then what exactly am I meant to do? I feel like I could fucking explode. That’s why I’m angry Spencer.”

A huge smirk played over his mouth as something clicked in his head.

“Oh so THAT’s what this is about. You know I recall someone telling me to just ask for it…in other words, I don’t understand why you’ve been beating around to bush for the past 20 mins when the solution to your problem seems very simple…”

“Yeah it is…. I’ll call Derek. That’s what you mean right?”

You knew exactly what he was getting at but that was NOT going to happen.

“Sure, in fact let me call him for you so you don’t need to worry about explaining the situation. I’m sure he’ll be VERY comfortable with this.”

“I’m sure he will. In fact, screw Derek. Let’s go straight for the big boss man. You know, you seemed so sure there was something going on between us in the first place. Might as well make that a reality right.” You reached for your phone, clicking over to your phonebook.

“Ok, stop STOP! If anyone’s fucking you it should be me, and it’s going to be me if you’re serious about needing to get off.”

“Not when you’re still shagging someone else it’s not. And who says I’d want to fuck you again anyway!”

“Oh please, by now it’s crystal clear that the only reason you’re mad at me is because you wish I was fucking you instead of her. You wish you could feel my tongue right between your thighs, slowly teasing your clit, my fingers inside of you….if I’m wrong then look into my eyes and tell me.”

Oh fuck…….Hearing him say those things just took you straight back to that night. For someone so sweet and innocent acting most of the time, the boy sure had a filthy mouth in the bed room.

You couldn’t look him in the eyes. Because it was true.

“Get out of my room Spencer. This conversation is over.”

“You can’t do it, can you? You can’t tell me you don’t want to feel me inside of you, don’t want me to make you come…”


“Tell me you don’t want me then and I will, because I don’t think you can.” He stood there his arms folded across his chest. When did he get this confident? And how did he know? 

“Fine… You’re right.”

 What was even the point anymore?

 “I’m horny as fuck and haven’t been able to stop thinking about having your mouth on me, your hands on me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you making me come. The past two nights, I’ve dreamt about having your mouth between my legs. In fact this morning, that’s what I was dreaming off when you woke me up. Happy now?” You glared at him, annoyed that you’d had to confess. 

“So what’s the problem then Y/N. You’re horny, I’m more than willing. It’s not like we haven’t before. And it was great then, you know it will be great now.”

It would. 

“I’m not fucking you when you’ve got someone else on the side.”

“And if I end my little arrangement?”

Why would he even do that? 

You shrugged, trying not to think of the possibilities if he did. 

“I’ll go back to her hotel room right now. I’ll be back in a few.”

“Wait…. What?” You watched as he turned and left your room.

Calling after him. “Spencer… Why are you going back there. SPENCER…Come back….. REID!”

Dan Howell x Reader: Awkward

For the past five days, the sun has been shining and it was just perfect outside, but you didn’t care.

You had been binge watching your favorite TV show and catching up on you tube, which was your whole life in a nutshell. But then, the last episode of the show you had been watching for the past few years finished and the credits began to roll up the screen.

You felt like all of your best friends had just died in a horrific accident even though your real life best friend was in the kitchen making lunch. You being you, you began to mope around the flat and your friend came in to see what was wrong.

“What’s wrong?” (B/F/N) sighed.

“I finished it. It’s over!“ you yelled. (b/f/n) had gotten used to this. When ever you watched a show, you became fully invested it, it taking over your whole life. You would become obsessed with the actors, follow the fandom on every social media site, and would never shut up about it, and this one was one of your favorites. (B/F/N) walked over to you and sat next to you, rubbing your back to comfort you.

“Look on the bright side, you have all of London to explore.” she said as she grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you a bit. She was right. You had just moved from New York to London a couple months ago and with all the moving, you haven’t seen much.

You lived with your parents all your life, like any normal person would, and they said that if you didn’t do anything stupid and did great in school and all that stuff, when you turned 18, you could go live where ever you wanted and with whomever you wanted. You swear that if your parents didn’t tell you that, you wouldn’t have been such a goody to shoes.

People made fun of you for not doing anything, but you didn’t care. When you were old enough, you got to go where ever you wanted while they would be stuck in the same town their whole life.

For you, that was London and your best friend (B/F/N) who already lived there by the time you turned 18. You were extremely socially awkward and everyone knew it. You had a lot of trouble when it came to talking to people and just human interaction in general. That’s the main reason why you stayed in most of the time.

“I don’t want to.” you pouted and started to go into the fetal position. You heard (B/F/N) say oh my god under her breath and next thing you knew, you were being shoved into your room. When the door closed, you heard what sounded like her putting something up against it.

”(B/F/N)!!“ you shouted through the door.

”You are not coming out of there until you’re ready to leave this flat.” she yelled back. You pounded on the door for a few minutes, yelling at her to let you out.

But after you had no more strength left, and it was made clear that she wasn’t going to open the door for you, you sighed in defeat and got dressed. You grabbed your purse and knocked on the door. (B/F/N) opened it just enough so that she would see if you actually got dressed. She smiled when she saw what you were wearing.

Too lazy to write this part and bad at clothing. Use your imagination.

“You look great. Now go!” (B/F/N) started to shove you towards the door.

“Okay!” You yelled ,swatting at her. You went to the couch and grabbed your phone then walked out the door with (B/F/N) still shoving you towards it. Before you could say goodbye, (B/F/N) slammed the door in your face. Either she was actually concerned about you or she wanted the flat to herself.

Either way, you were stuck outside.

You left the building and as soon as you did, you realized that you had no idea were to go or what to do. You didn’t know your way around town yet and there was no way that (B/F/N) was going to open the door for you and help you out after kicking you out like that. As you stood there wondering what to do and getting kinda scared, you heard someone laugh behind you.

As soon as you turned to see who it was the person smashed right into you. You bounced right off the person, who looked more like a tree from their height alone, and landed square on your ass.

“Ow.” you whispered, rubbing your butt. You looked up and were expecting to see two people and it was just one. What was this guy laughing about or even at?

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I am so sorry.” The guy said as he scrambled around for a minute. As he helped you up, his hand brushed against something it shouldn’t. As soon as you felt that, you sprang up and took a lot of steps back.

“Hey!” You snapped, giving him a death glare.

“I am so sorry. It was an accident.” he said, obviously extremely embarrassed. He was extremely red and you could tell that he was being sincere when eh said sorry.

“It’s okay I can tell that you didn’t mean to.” you said, starting to calm down a bit. You started to get nervous again when you got a good look at this guy. He was really cute with his brown hair and eyes, and fringe. Not to mention his British accent, though that accent helped make practically everybody hotter. You also loved his black cloths, thinking that they looked really good on him.

“I’m (Y/N).” you stammered, trying to make conversation with the guy who was giving you nothing to work with. You extend your hand and that was shaking too.
“Dan Howell.” he replied, shaking your hand and being quite awkward himself.

“I’m not from around here. I moved here from New York a couple months ago and I haven’t really walked around yet. Not by myself at least.” you said with a giggle and shy smile.
Dan could feel his cheeks heat up at the sight of your smile and the sound of your laugh, thinking you were really cute.

“I can show you around. I’ve lived here for a while now. I was born here, in England at least.” Dan laughed, but it was an awkward laugh. Sounded a little too fake and a little too loud.

“Let me say this, I’m really awkward, have been all my life. I didn’t even want to leave my flat. The only reason I left it was because I was done with a TV show and my roommate forced me out for the day.” you admitted, trying to explain your weird behavior. As soon you said that, Dan looked extremely>

“That is such a relief. I’m the same way.” he said, with a huge smile, which made you smile.
After smiling at each other for a few minutes, you both broke into a fit of laughter and everyone else looked at you like you were crazy. Both of you stopped when you noticed the straws but continued to smile at each other and let out little giggles.

The two of you continued to walk and talked about the awkward things you do and have done. He told you about all of the things that London had to offer and led you to his favorite geeky store.

By the end of the day, Dan had given you his number and he told you to look him up on YouTube. You hugged him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
When you did that, you could feel him tense up. You laughed at his reaction, waved goodbye and began to skipped back home, but when you turned around, Dan grabbed your wrist.

You turned around and looked at Dan, giving him a confused look. He looked nervous and uneasy, or at least more than normal. You were about to ask him what was wrong until you felt his lips against yours. 

You froze for a minute before falling into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. Dan tentatively wrapped his arms around your waist and slowly began to relax himself.

To you, this kiss was perfect. His lips were soft and gentle against yours, and he was good

After a few minutes, Dan pulled away and looked at you sheepishly.

“Sorry.” he whispered. He let go of you and took a few steps back while still looking down.

“It’s okay.” you giggled, lifting his head up and quickly kissing him again.

“Bye!” you yelled to him as you left. Now Dan looked shocked but smiled as walked in the other direction.

it's been a year since i came out to my mom!

hey guys! i came out to my mom as bisexual around a year ago. it seems so much longer ago but i still remember it so vividly. we were at disney world for the day, like we usually do every month, and all day she had been pointing out rainbow merchandise in the shops on main street. i felt like she Knew i wasn’t straight and she was just waiting for me to come out to her. so, i decided that it was the right time as we started heading into tomorrowland. i think i said something about wanting one of the rainbow things she had pointed out, my mom said something along the lines of “only if you’re gay” (what she said wasn’t offensive at all either, we’re both just really sarcastic so i think it reads as mean if you don’t hear the inflection). i was silent after she said that and kept walking. she stopped and looked at me and said “well are you gay?” and i just kinda whispered “i’m not Fully gay.” and she kind of rolled her eyes (jokingly) and said “well what does that mean shell?” and i told her i was bisexual. my parents are older, so i had to explain to my mom what bisexuality meant. by this time we were on the people mover and i was kind of crying because i was so relieved and just, i felt like massive weights had been lifted off me. i asked my mom why she wasn’t crying (youtube taught me coming outs had to be dramatic) and she said “why would i cry if i’m not upset?” her saying that has stuck with me and i think about it all the time. later that day we were in a different store and there was a shirt i think that said something along the lines of “ariel is my girlfriend” and my mom picked it up and goes “you should get this.” i’m so thankful for my mom and i’m so glad she’s so amazing and we’re so close. my mom is truly one of my best friends and i’m so grateful for her everyday.

this was kind of long but, idk i just wanted to talk about my coming out more in detail. i remember making a few posts right after it happened and people were congratulating me but, here’s more detail. i don’t recommend coming out if you don’t feel like your parent/s (or whoever you’re living with) will handle it well or if you are in an unsafe environment. always remember to do what’s best for your current state of well being. i know not coming out is always difficult (i’m not out to my dad because i’m terrified i’ll get kicked out of my house), but please be careful and remember that your health and safety come first.

“Repay You” [Daveed X Reader]

Prompt: broooooo i love your writing with all my heart!! Could i pretty please request a Daveed fic (lol just pretending he’s still in the cast) with 28 and/or 61 and/or 234? LOVE U ELIZA BABY

28: “do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?

61: “Hey, have you seen the-…oh” 

234: “Meet me on the roof in 10 minutes” 

A/N: I included them all bc I’m trash for Daveed

T/W: it got the teensiest tiniest bit raunchy, mainly fluff

A/U: modern

Words: 2701


Being in the ensemble was tough, like, ridiculously tough. It was essentially non-stop jumps, kicks and spins for two and a half hours, 8 shows a week. The cast and crew of Hamilton were incredible though, and made the pros of the experience outweigh any cons by far. 

It was a two show day, and you were standing just inside the wings of the theatre ready to twirl your way onto the stage for the last song of the show. You bent over and gently kneaded the back of your calf with your fist, trying to stop the dull ache that had been slowly taking over since the Yorktown number. 

It wasn’t uncommon for you to pull a muscle or hurt yourself in some way as a dancer, especially when work was this rigorous. It was annoying, nonetheless, but you straightened up and lightly shook your body out before walking out to finish the first show of the two shows. 

The crowd, as always, erupted into a standing ovation as you held hands with Jazzy on one side and Sasha on the other, standing upright up from your last bow and heading off stage. You congratulated everyone on a good show and made your way to your dressing room to stretch, letting one leg extend in front and the other behind, lowing yourself into the split, resting your stomach on your thigh and forehead on your knee. You heard the door creak open from its ajar position before a booming voice floated into the room. 

“Hey, have you seen the - … oh.” You knew it would be Daveed before the door even opened, as he generally changed out of his costume at lightning speed then came to see you. You unfolded from your stretch to see what had taken him aback. 

“Seen what?” You asked nonchalantly, still confused as to why he was staring at you as you stood up. 

“Does that hurt?” He asked, ignoring your question, as he leant against the doorframe, his hand motioning to where you were just on the floor. 

“Ah, no, not really. After the first twelve hundred times of doing it, it kinda loses it’s pain,” you laughed, reaching to let your hair out. 

“It’s still nuts,” he smiled back at you, pushing himself off the doorframe and leaning back to look down the hallway as someone called his name. 

Keep reading

Guzma Therapy session 3

(i continue to be impressed by my editor and friend @supersquiddle who takes my coal and helps me make diamonds.)

“So you actually showed up,” the woman said smugly.

“No I’m the ghost of kiss my ass,” the boss told her, “where are the tools?” He was visibly dulled and annoyed that someone with a reputation like his would be stuck doing yard work. He smoked a cigarette on her porch, not completely facing the door or her. She pointed over at a few tools scattered against her fence. “Fine now leave me alone” he grumbled as he walked over to the fence. Guzma leaned a shovel against it upright before taking his jacket off and hanging it on it. He then placed his chain and other accessories in the pockets of the jacket, grabbed the hula hoe and got to work. It wasn’t long until the heat of the sun and the repetitive activity began to wear at him. He paused, put the tool down and walked over to where his jacket hung. He took his shirt off and draped it over as well before stretching a bit. While he was stretching he noticed the woman sitting at her porch, staring at him with a grin. She then whistled suggestively and waved a dollar bill in the air. “Son of a bitch…” he muttered before lighting a cigarette and getting back to work….

“The fuck are you looking at. Why’re ya eyes so big?.” he asked her seemingly irritated, having now gathered his things and put the tools away. He had put his jacket on but decided to carry his now sweat-stained shirt.

“You actually finished? I’ve been trying to get the yard in order all month. I figured you would have ran off the moment I went in to lay down. Or robbed me at the very least,” she remarked.

“I did harder chores as a child,” he stated, rubbing the sweat from his brow, “don’t you have pokemon that could help with this? I remember you had a Scyther; that thing would’ve loved to cut down half them weeds… And the fence.”

“I…uh,” she slowly frowned, “…come inside.” She turned, walking into her house and leaving the door open for him.

Guzma chuckled. “Lady i ain’t try’na to sleep with you. I’m all sweaty an’ shit,” he said with a concieted grin as he followed her.

She rolled her eyes and groaned, “shut up… And look at this.”

“Huh?” He then caught up, the woman stood in front of a wall; a few pictures of a Scyther were hung up surrounding a pokeball. Guzma grimaced as the realization hit. “Shit bro… I’m sorry…” his eyes then lit up when he saw a photograph of the tag he did all those years ago. He smiled, reached into his backpack and took out a folded piece of paper. Without speaking he took out a tack from another photo that had four, then tacked the paper next to the photo of his past work. It was an oddly decent sketch of a Scyther, the words at the bottom read “I love my bitchy mom.” The woman stared at the drawing for a moment as tears came to her eyes. She covered her face with her hands; Guzma then slowly put an arm around her shoulders, allowing her to lean into him. He soon left the house; he considered that a positive moment for both of them, yet despite how important it was to her the one consistent thought dancing through the boss’s mind was: “i can never let that doctor know he was right.”

He began walking down the road, took a check list out of his pocket and marked off “pull the bitches weeds”. Listed below it was “help a stranger” and “take over the world”. Guzma soon made it back to the mansion, where he saw two of his grunts playfully wrestling around with a small Stufful. He could not help but smile, for once he felt as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He went up the stairs and changed into clean clothes before strolling through the halls towards the kitchen. He glanced briefly into one of the grunt’s room and noticed a bed with a broken leg. The boss wondered how long some grunts been sleeping on that lopsided mess. Guzma then gathered a drill and a small toolbelt. By the time he had repaired the bed he noticed a number of other damages just in that one room. A loose doorknob, a broken tv and various other broken things. He spent such little time in their rooms that he hadn’t noticed how much they had deteriorated. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and mumbled, “fucking kids don’t know how to take care of their shit” -he sighed- “then again neither did I…” One by one he restored everything that he could in that one room. Night soon fell; the grunts were either returning from playing outside or roaming Po Town, engaging in failed attempts at petty theft. The boss now slouched in his throne, smoking a cigarette; tired and proud of the work he did that day. A small grunt approached him and asked curiously, “hey, who fixed my bed while i was gone?” Guzma stifled a laugh, he was still wearing the tool belt but the grunt was apparently too stupid to notice. “You did.”

“I DID?!” The little grunt’s eyes were wide.He smirked. “Yeah, and you don’t even remember doin’ it. Prob’ly were sleepwalking or somethin’.”

They stared up at him, astonished. “Holy hell… I’m awesome!”

Guzma sat up further in his throne and leaned towards him. “Hey ankle-biter, I got a question. How have I been around here since I’ve been going to the doc?”

The grunt looked at their feet unsure of what he was referring to until they remembered.“Oh! That place… You’ve been a bit more happy and relaxed… But we don’t trust it boss! Its some kinda crazy magic that makes you say things about yourself! Its gonna eat your soul and replace you with lizard people! Or at least that’s what some of the grunts are saying. Its voodoo!”

He smirked at that response. “You’re cute when you’re stupid…” he said as he tousled the grunt’s hair, “go clean up the place; we’re watching a movie tonight.” The grunt nodded and ran off. Under his breath he thought to himself and muttered under his breath, “maybe the doc is a lizard person?“ he chuckled to himself, “holy shit… I just did my homework and I didn’t even try to brag… Maybe I’m becoming a lizard person…? No, that’s stupid. Lizard Guzma, what’s wrong with you?”

Distractions ~ James Potter imagine (Mauraders Era)

Can I request an imagine where the reader (Ravenclaw chaser) is playing against James Potter in quidditch when they collide and end up in the hospital wing and they both feel bad and end up becoming friends and then dating?


It was a very intense and long match; it was raining cats and dogs and you could barely see.

You were the Ravenclaw chaser, and you were just about score a goal for your team, until you saw a flash of gold zip past your face, distracting you from your shot. And, in that moment, someone slammed right into you, knocking both of you off your brooms and straight to the ground.

You woke up in the hospital wing, confused and with a throbbing headache.

“Hey, are you up?” said a voice.

You groaned from how painful it was to move. “Who said that?” You asked softly.

“Me,” the voice answered.

“Who’s ‘me’?”

“The guy you slammed into during the match,” he answered.

It all began coming back to you.

“Hey, I didn’t slam into you, you flew into me!” You snapped.

“Did not, it was your fault.”

“Was not!”

“Oi!” Madame Pomfrey shouted. She stormed over to the two of you and pulled away the curtain dividing your beds.

“Both of you, stop your yelling!” she said through gritted teeth before storming away.

You looked over at the boy who laid in the bed next to you.

It was James Potter from the Gryffindor team.

The two of you were silent for a few moments.

“So, who won the game?” You asked, breaking the silence.

“Gryffindor,” he responded.

You scoffed. “Figures. You guys were so far ahead.”

James let out a small laugh before everything went quiet again.

“Hey, I’m sorry for-uh-you know… All of this,” James said sheepishly, looking over at you.

“It’s okay. It was kinda my fault, too,” you sighed, sending James a small smile.

And, with that, the two of you became the closest of friends; since you were both stuck in the hospital wing for a week, he was your only company. You both talked constantly, he cracked jokes that made you laugh even though it hurt to, and he understood you more than anyone else ever had.

Even when you guys were out of the wing, you still hung out whenever you could. He was your best friend.

But, here’s the problem with all that:

You started falling for him.


About 4 months later, due to another quidditch incident, James was back in the hospital wing.

You visited him after dinner, sneaking a few treats, but when you went over to his bed, he was asleep.

You let out a sigh and pulled up a chair by his bed, setting down the snacks you brought.

A small smile formed on your face as you looked down at him in his sleeping form.

Your heart fluttered a bit at the sight of him.

“I know you probably can’t hear me, so this is good, actually…” You bit your lip, debating whether you should continue.

“I just wanted to-uh-get something off my chest while you’re not listening because… Well… It’s about you…”

You took in a breath, looking around to make sure no one was listening.

“I like you. More than a friend. You’re funny and you’re always there for me and you have really nice eyes and I just… I wanted to let you know… While you’re asleep…” You said quietly, beginning to leave. Suddenly, you felt a tug on your hand.

“Hey,” James winked.

Your eyes became wide. “Uh, h-hi,” you stammered, sitting back down.

“How are you on this fine evening?” He grinned.

“I’m-uh-good! I’m great. H-how about you?” You breathed, eyes still wide.

“Oh, I’m brilliant. I think there was someone talking to me a few minutes ago, did you see anyone walk out when you came over?” he asked, smirking at you.

“Okay, what did you hear?”

“All of it,” he smiled. “You think I have nice eyes, huh?”

“Shut up, I thought you were sleeping,” you said, heat rising up your cheeks.

“Did you mean it?”


“What you said… Did you mean it?”

Everything was quiet while you and James gazed at each other.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

James sat up so that you both were face to face. Then, out of nowhere, you felt his lips against yours. You immediately melted into the kiss, cupping his face in your hands.

You both eventually pulled away, your lips still tingling and your heart still pounding.

“(Y/N), I like you too… Do you wanna know why I got put back in here?” He asked, resting his forehead against yours.


“I saw you in the crowd. You were smiling and cheering and I just… I couldn’t concentrate,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, and then you got knocked out by a bludger,” you laughed.

“Okay, it’s almost after hours; you better start getting ready to leave,” Madame Pomfrey said.

You nodded and began to get up, but James tugged on your hand again.

“Hey, when I get out of here, how about you let me take you on a date?” He grinned, looking up at you.

You let out a soft giggle and kissed his cheek.

“Sounds good.”

~The End~
•Thank you for requesting!•

“I eventually told everyone who was important to me about my detransition and the things I've learned about myself, and even though not everyone agrees with my ideals, we're still friends and I'm grateful for that.”

I’m 26 and I live in Germany.

I think for me it started when i was around 21.

Quite a few friends of mine were transmen and I’ve always been gender-nonconforming and openly gay and bullied for it so I began to doubt my femaleness and everything female related made me uncomfortable (such a pronouns etc.).

At the same time I had a friend on tumblr who suddenly started identifying as non-binary (that word wasn’t used back then tho) and then later as “male” so I thought okay why not do that too? maybe that’s the right way for me?

So after some time I talked to one of my trans friends about it and he recommended I go see a therapist who’s experienced with the whole transgender stuff so 1) I could become clear whether I’m trans or not and 2) if I was I could immediately get the help I need for transition without finding a new therapist.

So my friend didn’t really push me into transitioning but thinking back it seems that he would welcome it.

So I called the therapist one of my other trans friends went to and immediately got an appointment (which should have made me wary because usually it takes weeks to get an appointment).

I went to see him only a few days later and after only 20 minutes of talking he “diagnosed” me and said I definitely was a transman (mostly because of my appearance) and also prescribed me with testosterone.

It went way too fast but well it’s what I wanted, right? So I ignored my doubts and just did as the doctors told me, got my shots every 3 months and applied for the legal name change and surgeries.

My name was legally changed 7 months later when it usually takes up to 1.5 years at least.

I had my surgeries 2 years later when it usually takes at least 3 years of professional guidance from both a psychotherapist AND a psychiatrist (which I only found out a week ago btw) who both write and independent med report to my health insurance. so basically none of these things were even legal but it’s what I wanted, right?

I have a small group of friends which i knew from way before I identified as trans who also stuck with me during my transition.

Since almost all of my friends were either gay, bi or trans I could say my experiences with the community in general are quite good - even though none of us ever really considered ourselves part of it.

When some of us learned about radical feminism the doubts about the choices I’ve made became stronger and it’s thanks to my friend’s help and support that I finally snapped out of it.

It took me a while, but I eventually told everyone who was important to me about my detransition and the things I’ve learned about myself and even though not everyone agrees with my ideals, we’re still friends and I’m grateful for that.

Since we never really engaged in any community related stuff before there wasn’t really a “leaving the community”. it’s rather that I focused more on myself as a gay woman and reached out to people like me and created my own “community”.

As for the kweer community that mostly lives on the internet - I try to stay as far away from them as possible.

(I still lost some friends over all this but i don’t really miss them.)

Right now I’m still waiting for the court to agree to rescind my legal name change.

I’ve stopped taking testosterone over a year ago and changed to estrogen (I’ve had a full hysterectomy so I kinda made myself dependent on synthetic hormones for the rest of my life) which works not as well as i hoped it would but i’m getting there.

I think my most effective way to cope is spending time with my friends. we all moved to the same city last year, two of them are also radfems and generally share the same ideals with me so there’s always someone I can go to.

I’ve tried therapy again, but so far nothing’s really worked for me since I’ve lost my trust in therapists and i can’t really talk about what matters most to me.

other than that i try to focus on things and activities i like which is working okay-ish.

I think it will get better as soon as the court agrees to change my name again which hopefully happens some time this year.