my followeres

TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird

shakespeare characters as dril tweets

othello: i shall say this only; ive ended peoples careers by reporting them for “Ironic” typos & spelling errors., i do not give a shit. im a warrior

macbeth: my “F*&k It!! Let’s Go Golfin” t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed

ophelia:  i just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in

caius marcius coriolanus: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants

lady macbeth: Have you ever wanted to click X on a bastard

hamlet:  if you have a problem with my mouth, i’ll be swniging a sledgehammer in circles outdoors for the rest of my life, so come try do crap to me.

king lear: now youve done it, teens. the official mr bean account is closing because you all kept calling him dad

richard iii:  to the coward fraud who claimed my username: it is you who deserves to be plagued by this baneful “2”. Posted by CrotchLordMiami2 at 3.36 am

Midsummer Night's Dream Characters Represented by @dril Tweets
  • Helena: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • Hermia: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Lysander: ive heard from a reliable source that people arre putting their lips on to my girl friends avatars and going "muah muah muah." cut it out
  • Demetrius: bbeing passively aggressively retweet trolled by half wits & their beautiful girl friends just makesme say "Not before ive had damn coffee."
  • Titania: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to sotp tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Duke Theseus: me and SnakeMom1956 are in love and we are laughing at all of th e people who think that our flintstones themed wedding is a sham
  • Hippolyta: 12 year slave huh? sounds like my marriage. which I dont enjoy. to the degree that it is succinctly described by that particular movie title
  • Egeus: If U Ever Contact My Daughetr Again I Will Call My Lawyer And We'll Kick Your Tiny Weird Shaped Head Around The Court Room
  • Oberon: someone please get me in touch with the little boy who died & went to heaven. i want to astral project him into my ex-wifes castle for intel
  • Puck: if it werent for the sport of hockey, nobody would give a shit about pucks
  • Titania's fairies: my repulsive cohorts and I are searching the woods for tree sap so we can rub it all over our hands and improve our golf grip
  • Bottom: months ago i dreamt about people making their ass cracks longer with surgery. i woke up & immediately put "Crack length" in my drafts folder
  • Peter Quince: #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter im going to piss all over your car. for being a Writer.
  • Starveling: "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore" nope. not true "When the world seems to shine like you'v" thats bullshit too
  • Snout: 1989: the fall of the berlin wall is celebrated, historically revered 2016: i tear down the sneeze guard at old country buffet and get Booed
  • Snug: half wit bumpkin here, looking for new snacks
watchmen + tweets
  • comedian: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"
  • laurie juspeczyk: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • dan dreiberg: lots of people love birdwatching. But you can't keep your eyes on those birds forever. Better get plenty of cameras and strong locks.
  • dr. manhattan: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • ozymandias: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • rorschach: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT

Thank You - What Fools These Mortals Be - Chapter 6

Do Not Be So Bitter With Me.

Thank you all so much for reading and reblogging and commenting and liking. And thank you so much for hanging in there I promise the full history will be revealed soon in the next coming chapters.

The flashbacks of their history have been a lot of fun to write as well as the bickering between the two of them.

So thanks guys for being patient with me and my story it means a lot.

@panalegs27 @jandjsalmon @iamcamerashy @bettyluvsjuggie @ifyoureleoillbeyouroscar @america-english-style @myotpsaremypluto @birdlovesafish

assassin’s creed characters as @dril tweets

altaïr: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants

malik: fuckin online fuckin idiots

ezio: if youre one of the guys who blocked me on here, i Forgive you, and im ready for you to unblock me now.

leonardo: THIngs other people like: being bastards, being Uniformly tasteless THINGS I Like: Being reasonably kind, and trying to help, when i can

haytham: i accept all your apologies you sad mother fuckers. YOu all have a lot of work to do when it comes to critiquing my meme style. Foul animals

connor: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. “war is the most fucked up thing ever.” he takes a sip of beer

edward: I will tell you this right now: I’m from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally

adéwalé: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no

mary: “This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender,” i holler as i overturn my uncle’s barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

aveline: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree

shay: if a sniper shot me i owuld run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in meelee fight

arno: “Why should there be only one good friday. Let’s try our best to make all the Fridays good. Thank you” -a quote i invented which made me cry

jacob: "FEAR IS USED 2 ENSLAVE THE MASSES,“ I SAID AS I RIPPED THE FUCKIN DECORATIVE CARDBOARD SKELETON OFF OF THE COMMUNITY CENTERS BULLETIN BOARD

evie: you know what. im dropping the subject and going outside to sip some cool lemonade. Enjoy your circle jerlk

xiaolin showdown + dril tweets
  • dojo: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
  • ME; I agree
  • chase young: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • clay: im actualy, probably, the most superbly relatable and normal person in this jail cell as of right NOw
  • hannibal roy bean: male model: washing my luxurious long hair is so boring. i wish my entire body was bald like you. me: Now the healing can begin
  • jack spicer: ive trademarked the term “The guy who fucks up” so if you see someone else using it pleaase stick my Fair Use brochures to their car
  • kimiko: if you have a problem with my mouth, i’ll be swniging a sledgehammer in circles outdoors for the rest of my life, so come try do crap to me.
  • master fung: (bowed head solemnly rises from deep thought) Intellidgence is the strength of wisdom
  • omi: i may be a dim-witted narcissist but at least i hafve really good opinions about life and other things
  • raimundo: forced to remove my famous "DANGER: MAY CONTAIN LETHAL LEVELS OF SARCASM !!" sign from the front door of the poolside shed that i live in
  • wuya: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad”,“its ineffective” fuck off
Captive Prince side characters + Dril tweets
  • Govart: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • Jord: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Guion: allow me to reiterate.. im on the side that is the least mad. whichever one that is right now. nobody knows whos more mad at this point.
  • Nikandros: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and NIce manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Makedon: whats in my cup today? why its that old stand-by known as "beer" folks . thank you for reading it
  • Paschal: im actualy, probably, the most superbly relatable and normal person in this jail cell as of right NOw
  • Aimeric: shut the fuck up and kick my ass
Resident Evil As Dril Tweets

Chris Redfield: LISTEN UP NERD, THE WEIGHTS WITH THE HEIROGLYPHS ON THEM ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO LIFT UNLESS YOU POSSESS THE CORRESPONDING RUNESTONE, THIS IS HELL GYM

Claire Redfield: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no

Jill Valentine: if a sniper shot me i would run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee figh

Barry Burton: i am skeptical of the concept “Too Big To Fail” mainly because i am extremely big and i fail constantly

Moira Burton:  im an exhausting person to be around but once you get to knnow me im actually a giant shithead with irredeemable mouth

Alex Wesker: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like oh ‘tortures bad”, “its ineffective” fuck off

Albert Wesker:  my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants

Leon S Kennedy: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. “war is the most fucked up thing ever.” he takes a sip of beer

William Birkin: at first i thought that Science was a shit waste of time. then somebody did a meme of it,.and now…hoo boy..now i like it

uk prime ministers as dril tweets
  • clement attlee: dont talk to me of trade agreement when the only thing we can agree of is that charlatans & mad hatters have overrun the waushington office.
  • winston churchill: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • anthony eden: see this watch? i got it by Crying. my car? crying. my beautiful wife? Crying. My perfect teeth? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office
  • harold macmillan: if youre one of the guys who blocked me on here, i Forgive you, and im ready for you to unblock me now.
  • alec douglas-home: if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
  • harold wilson: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed
  • ted heath: replying to massive amounts of flagrant screwball tweets with words like "Tedious" followed by a period
  • jim callaghan: awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far
  • margaret thatcher: "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
  • john major: clown college is bnot a real place. it is a location imagined by trolls so they can claim that i'm from there or that i should go there.
  • tony blair: to the coward fraud who claimed my username: it is you who deserves to be plagued by this baneful "2". Posted by CrotchLordMiami2 at 3.36 am
  • gordon brown: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • david cameron: Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Candles $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
  • ed miliband (in my dreams ok): now youve done it, teens. the official mr bean account is closing because you all kept calling him dad
wolf 359 characters as dril tweets
  • Minkowski: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Eiffel: my entire face turns purple as i try to enjoy my cup of monday coffee while all my coworkers rush into my office to watch me fail once again
  • Hilbert: if you’re ever wondering if im some other guy, the answer is yes, im him, unless it’s bad to be him, then im not him, im a different person.
  • Hera: ah.. why is it that computers can send hateful commentary thorugh the modem... but weren't design to send something nice.. like a Song
  • Lovelace: i just want to find the optimal bra for sniper operations, but everyone here is so rude, and pieces of shit
  • Kepler: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • Maxwell: being in full control of tthe shit that shows up on my computer monitor makes me feel like a sort of twisted conductor. .. or perhaps, God.
  • Jacobi: forced to remove my famous "DANGER: MAY CONTAIN LETHAL LEVELS OF SARCASM !!" sign from the front door of the poolside shed that i live in
  • Cutter: a boss should be allowed to kick his employees asse's. key to his workers house so he can just come in and start wailing anytime #bottomword
  • Pryce: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like "oh tortures bad" "its ineffective" fuck off
  • Rachel: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Lambert: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals
the lyingverse as dril tweets
  • nether!lying: sometimes i love to be able to want to be the man who is able to want to need to have his wants and needs able to be fulfilled sometimes
  • witch!lying: what donest kill me makes me stronger ((gains infinite strength from being not killed by infinite things))
  • priest!lying: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • knight!lying: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • dwarf!lying: me and a bunch of stupid assholes are going to start a community in the middle of the desert to either die or prove a very important point
  • kyofushin: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • cyborg!lying: i'm going to beat the shit out of asimo. im gping to knock it on its ass while its trying to use a staircase at a trade show. dreadful beast
  • summoner!lying: allow me to reiterate.. im on the side that is the least mad. whichever one that is right now. nobody knows whos more mad at this point.
  • sister!lying: Welcome to the citadel of eternal wisdom. Behold, this crystal contains the sum of all human knowledge -- Except Rap And Country
  • blood!lying: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
Byzantine Emperors as @dril tweets
  • Constantine I: Priest; and the lord said, take this delicious McDonald and eat it, for it is my body and it will be given up, for you
  • Me; Insanley badass.
  • Theodosius I: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • Julian the Apostate: did you know that the bible doesn't actually contain any references to hell? or heaven? or christ?? it just a bunch of names & phone numbers
  • Justinian I: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.
  • Justinian II Rhinotmetus: as far as im concerned the best revenge is ordering wolf piss online & pouring it into soneones car. "living well" is too hard
  • Constantine V: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • Irene of Athens: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
  • Michael III: The wine imparts a foreign bitterness. How could he betray me? We were brothers. I fall to the ground. Execute a partial curl. One last rep.
  • Basil I: MYTH: my posts are for the Pauper REALITY: my posts are for the Prince
  • Leo VI: I find my self. walking the hallowed halls of Harverd university , thinking wisely to my self. upon the quest, for Knowledge...
  • Basil II: I shoudl not be expected to put my knee on the ground to propose to a woman, the same ground where the animals shit
  • Zoe Porphyrogenneta: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
  • ME; I agree
  • Manuel I Komnenos: i may be a dim-witted narcissist but at least i hafve really good opinions about life and other things
  • Alexios IV Angelos: ive trademarked the term "The guy who fucks up" so if you see someone else using it pleaase stick my Fair Use brochures to their car
  • John V Palaiologos: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby
  • Constantine XI: THIngs other people like: being bastards, being Uniformly tasteless THINGS I Like: Being reasonably kind, and trying to help, when i can
Agents of SHIELD characters as @dril tweets
  • Daisy Johnson: youll never shut me the fuck up , no matter how many times you unfollow me, you will never shut me the fuck upon here!! get lost Cyber scum!
  • Phil Coulson: another day volunteering at the betsy ross muesum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
  • Melinda May: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • Jemma Simmons: YO *points to spinal cord on brain diagram* THATS THE BRAIN;S DICK
  • Leo Fitz: oh, youvve read a few academic papers on the matter? cute. i have read over 100000 posts.
  • Grant Ward: my uncles caught me searching "can i still join isis if im racist" on the family computer & are now withholding all holiday treats for 2015.
  • Antoine Triplett: "i wish they got, WiFi down here" - guy who died in the paris catacombs
  • Bobbi Morse: Have you ever wanted to click X on a bastard
  • Alphonso Mackenzie: MYTH: my posts are for the Pauper REALITY: my posts are for the Prince
  • Lance Hunter: someone please get me in touch with the little boy who died & went to heaven. i want to astral project him into my ex-wifes castle for intel
  • Mike Peterson: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to sotp tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Raina: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"
  • Kara Palamas: unfollow me if you hav e ever done or thought about doing war crimes. i dont want war criminals shitting my feed up
  • Andrew Garner: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree
  • Maria Hill: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • Victoria Hand: i shall say this only; ive ended peoples careers by reporting them for "Ironic" typos & spelling errors., i do not give a shit. im a warrior
  • John Garrett: stealing valor by purchasing fraudulent military gear from etsy,. parading my insane loadouts in front of our vets as they hurl abuse at me,
  • Calvin Zabo: pal the only "meltdown" im having is my ice cream melting down into my hand while I lay on the beach & laugh while thinking about the trolls
  • Lincoln Campbell: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • Hive: me and a bunch of stupid assholes are going to start a community in the middle of the desert to either die or prove a very important point
  • Anne Weaver: let me be very clear: i would rather attend a Pig's wedding than attempt to sift through the dumpster you people have made out of my dm box,
  • The Koenigs: if you're ever wondering if im some other guy, the answer is yes, im him, unless it's bad to be him, then im not him, im a different person
  • Jiaying: I WILL REGRESS INTO PRIMAL FORM AND SHUN MY LOVED ONES IN ORDER TO POWER UP MY CONTENT !! I WILL GET RE-BLOGS AT ANY COST !! AT ANY COST !!
  • Joey Gutierrez: im the guy who ruined Columbus Day by saying he had slaves, and im ruining Back to the Future Day too by saying the film is rife with incest
  • Elena "Yo-Yo" Rodriguez: *slams king james holy bible shut on a piece of pepperoni with mayo and onions stickin out * And that is how u make a truth sandwich
  • James/Hellfire: dont worry ladies, im not one of those"Bros" who talks to girls about sex stuff. anyway, i have an entire bra stuffed in my mouth right now,
  • Gideon Malick: i can only hope that when a kangaroo court of dipshits comes to haul me to prison that i have the grace and humility not to get mad at them
  • Giyera: Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned Compilation
  • Rosalind Price: i get in my car and 100 men smear their asses up agsint my windshield and doors. Unbelievable. I'm late for work. This is clownish.
  • Glenn Talbot: UNITED NATIONS: ah!! please help us! we need just a normal man's opinion!! we got you a seat ME: How'm I to trust you, while God is bleeding
  • Holden Radcliffe: committing unforgivable crimes against nautre in my laboratory ,trying to create the next genetically discombobulated meme animal
  • Daniel Whitehall: argh.. (shakes fist) Damn you White people !! ha ha, but seriously though, most whites are actually highly intelligent, and resourceful,
  • Sunil Bakshi: shut the fuck up and kick my ass
Hello all my awesome followerers !!! ^_^

Please do take a look at my 3rd blog: themeoftheday.tumblr.com, i reblog stuff every day about different colours or themes etc…

Today (30-6-17)has been: night time & darkness… would love it for all my amazing followers to share, like, reblog, queue, do whatever, ^_^ 

I will be eternally grateful and send you awesome positive vibes forever !!!

Okay even if pecul1ar wasn’t spectacular enough to ask for Davesprite how happy are we all that he’s here right now?? Incredible, they are just so incredible and clearly a followerer after my heart here okay. Thank you so much for hanging around!

These are the runner ups, and I’ll get working on the other winners. Thank you for being so patient and also for participating!

FEA + dril (part 2)
  • Lucina: CLERK: Do you have your reward card ME: Absolutely I do not. I shan't be taking money out of the hands of Best Buy using insidious exploits.
  • Morgan: dis charged from the army for doing memes too much
  • Owain: *does something fucking stupid or embarrassing in between tthe asterisks and doesnt expect anyone to wonder why im typing it out* im normal,
  • Inigo: im somewhat a bit of an expert on *looks around cautiously* girls, as i have convinced many of them to beat the shit out of me on craig list
  • Brady: see this watch? i got it by Crying. my car? crying. my beautiful wife? Crying. My perfect teeth? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office
  • Kjelle: if you have a problem with my mouth, i’ll be swniging a sledgehammer in circles outdoors for the rest of my life, so come try do crap to me.
  • Severa: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME; I agree
  • Gerome: going to be doing some extremely powerful introspective poses on the railroad track for the next couple hours, so please cancel all trains
  • Yarne: ive trademarked the term “The guy who fucks up” so if you see someone else using it pleaase stick my Fair Use brochures to their car
  • Laurent: ignorance... is a fallacy .my dear pals
  • Cynthia: now you see, what i like to do is consider my page to be a "No Frown Zone", because of the consistently good quality of my messages i put up
  • Noire: instituting a new feature on my feed called "The Hell Hour". the hell hour begins now
  • Nah: there is no such thing as a baby animal. they are all adults from birth. sorry if my opinion offends you
  • Gangrel: im an exhausting person to be around but once you get to knnow me im actually a giant shithead with irredeemable mouth
  • Walhart: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • Emmeryn: why'd there suffering in this world.................
  • Yen'fay: maybe sometimes both sides... are good and bad at the same time??? im sorry if im doing this wrong. it is difficult to write
  • Aversa: forced to remove my famous "DANGER: MAY CONTAIN LETHAL LEVELS OF SARCASM !!" sign from the front door of the poolside shed that i live in
  • Priam: by ripping my phone book in half I have not only proven im strong, but that Im also a cool independent guy who doesn't need to call anybody
presidents as @dril tweets part 1
  • Washington: some people sing the praises of the one hundred dollar bill... i myself, prefer the humble, time-tested and reliable one dollar bill
  • Adams: fuck “jokes”. everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
  • Jefferson: Have you ever wanted to click X on a bastard
  • Madison: doing my Civic Duty (evading tax's) while laughing at trolls threatenning to do arson to my house
  • Monroe: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom
  • Quincy Adams: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
  • Jackson: imagnie a world where us Common folk are given the blue checkmark and the CELEBs are left out to dry!! Hows that feel, HUh?! Answer me punks
  • Van Buren: ive trademarked the term "The guy who fucks up" so if you see someone else using it pleaase stick my Fair Use brochures to their car
  • Harrison: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Tyler: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • Polk: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Taylor: what donest kill me makes me stronger ((gains infinite strength from being not killed by infinite things))