my feels are not going away


I’ve been going over a lot of ideas these past few days because I’m interested in writing an actual series.  This is my first attempt (and I still might not have the full plot figured out yet), so go easy on me haha.

So, what happens when Dark finds himself split apart into Damien and Celine?  I know there’s a few other stories that have this kind of plot, but this is my take on it!  Let me know what you guys think! Likes and Reblogs are super appreciated guys!

Keep reading

excerpt from a book I’ll never write. (26)

“I’m trying to not like her,” I sniffled into my mother’s shoulder, tears staining her self-knitted sweater. I can’t help but feel bad that I ruined it.

“You don’t have to dislike her, baby. Its his loss for letting you go. You deserve better,” my mom comforts. Her hand reaches out to stroke my hair, and in her thoughtful gesture I found a tiny bit of comfort.

“I thought it would be easy to hate her. She took him away from me. But somehow I just can’t bring myself to have hateful feelings for her,” I explained, taking a deep breath.

“I can’t. I can’t hate her. Not when she’s holding my whole world in her hands.”



It started at the bookstore.

The store, half empty of merchandise, filled me with the sensation that humanity was headed for its frenzied finale

and all the way home I stared at the twilit horizon with the feeling that if I just reached out and pushed on it, it would fall away like a cardboard backdrop

and the world is too small, too temporary, that nothing will change no matter where I go

and despair welled up in me

choking me

assaulting my heart with vague terrors,

Then like a spark came the thought: “Why am I dealing with this alone?”

My heart cried out, “O Lord, I am filled with vague terrors!

and a supernatural peace descended upon me


I am really gutted right now and upset to be honest because I have a big opportunity in London this Wednesday, but obviously I struggle with travel and my mum can’t come with me, so I might have to turn it down. I feel physically sick that I might not be able to do it. Dan was going to meet me up there and everything. 

I just don’t know what to do about the travel. I am so gutted because this is such a huge deal for me and I feel like my illness is taking this opportunity away. 

Really down, to be honest. I feel like my illness is a prison sometimes. I actually cannot travel without my mum or Dan. That’s depressing when you’re 23, I can tell you. 


The air was cold and biting against their skin. Alex very quickly became aware of Beth’s open-back dress which would be letting the cold in and put his arm around her and pulled her close. They walked a bit away from the noisy venue and then stood together, Alex holding her hands and holding her close. She pressed herself close to him, trying to mop up as much warmth he gave off as possible. But she was happy; the cool air was refreshing compared to the hot ballroom and she felt a lot less trapped outside, just the two of them.

Alex: We shouldn’t stay out long my love… it’s cold. 

Beth: It’s okay, we can go back in a minute. Just needed a breather…

Alex: Do you feel any better?

Beth: Yes I do. It’s just a lot you know… the crowds. I have just felt a lot more on nervous around people recently and.. yeah.

Alex: It’s okay my love, don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll feel like your old self again very soon, just give it time. I’m so proud you even came out with me tonight, I have had such a lovely time with you.

Beth: I have had a lovely time too, thank you love.

Alex: Right! Well if you are feeling okay, I think it’s almost time for my speech! 

Beth: Now that’s something I cannot miss! *smiles*

Poet|Artist by Jonghyun

A few hours ago I checked my twitter and was totally surprised to learn SM would be releasing not only an MV for a song called Shinin’ that he filmed just a few days before he passed away but also the full album. I did know it was happening I just totally missed the announcement of the release date. Listening to the album so emotionally unprepared was definitely bittersweet. Having said that it’s an amazing album. It feels more mainstream than his Collection Story Op. 2. The proceeds will be going to his mother for the creation of a fund to help people that suffer from depression.

The album has a total of eleven songs. Four of them were part of his last concert. Here’s my first impressions about this album song by song.

Shinnin’. The title is bright and exudes a falling for someone feeling. 

Only One You Need. This song was highly talked about after he died because of the lyrics. It has a party beat to it and it’s all about being a crying shoulder for the one you love

#Hashtag (Waffle). This song I loved from the moment I first listened to it  month ago. It’s all about social media.

Grease. This one has a good beat and it’s an angry break up song. Definitely one of my favorites .

Take the dive. This song is the total opposite from Grease. It has an airy beat and very positive lyrics.

Sightseeing is a great pop song with a bit of jazz sounds. In this one Jonghyun wonders what all the busy people  glued to their phones on the streets go .

Rewind was probably the biggest surprise of the album. A piano paired with a haunting beat. Starts with Jonghyun singing in a fast pace almost like he was rapping and evolves into an instrumental piece. I’m sure not everyone will like this one but it’s so unique. 

Just for a day has beautiful falsetto with a techno pop vibe. 

I’m so curious. It’s about meeting someone and wanting to be with them. Makes you want to get up and dance. 

Sentimental has a chill beat that will make you relax while reminiscing about a past love. Probably one of my favorites of the album.

Before Our Sping  The piano and strings make this song a great way to finish an album. It’s a beautiful ballad with complex lyrics and amazing vocals. I’ve tried to not overthink the lyrics of the album but when I read the translation of this one I got emotional.

The tumblr it’s hysterie has all the translated lyrics if you wanna check them out. The album is already out. If you want to support Jonghyun please buy the album on iTunes or buy a physical album. If you can’t, you can listen to it in Spotify or your korean streaming site of choice.


Now,Tenor and Elegance stood,watching their daughter sleeping peacefully in the hospital bassinet…

Tenor: She’s so tiny…

Elegance: I know…I feel like I’m going to break her when I’m holding her.

Elegance: Hey,Ten…did you happen to notice what color her hair is?

Tenor: Yeah…I forgot white hair runs in my family.

Elegance: It does,doesn’t it…I can’t remember,what did you say your great-grandma’s name was? The one who ran away here to Windenburg?

Tenor: Her name was Gwyn.

anonymous asked:

So taking away the 3 icu and stemi patient how many of the other consults do you think the hospitalist or primary could’ve handled? I’ve noticed recently that hospitalists want to consult everything and then discharge at the end. My feeling is if they’re not careful they’re going to consult themselves out of jobs and just be replaced by NP and PA who can consult just as well as they can.

Since we’re a teaching hospital, I can understand why interns and second years who are just learning how to be seniors would want cards to lend an extra set of eyes. That, I don’t mind. I get really ticked off by lazy co-residents in my own year who consult because they don’t want to think. Also, our hospital’s consultation power on initial presentation lays with the ER. Even if the medicine team doesn’t want the consult, so long as the patient is physically in the ER, the power to choose is with the ER team. And our ER program ADORES consulting cardiology for everything. Including the silliest things. So a lot of it actually is coming from the ER and from teams with seniors who are still learning quite a bit. Those, I don’t feel too bad about! 

So I got my keyboard in.

I ordered it in December, and I’m using it now.


I am.

Sort of underwhelmed.

The keys feel cheap, and way to soft. 

I actually feel like my WPM is going down, but I also feel like that’s due to me not being used to the layout? 

It’s super cramped together.

I think I might return it.

Which sucks because I was super looking forward to it, but at the same time, I’m not like - blown away by any means.

anonymous asked:

What do u think about Coulsons “makes us appreciate life” line do u think it means he will tell May how he feels?? I have a feeling Philinda will get together just before they go back to the past and then Coulson will get taken away cause it’s something the writers would do

Hi Anon,

I think the statement applies to everyone at the moment, but the way Coulson looked at and camera caught Fitzsimmons was pretty telling for me.   

I do think that Philinda will address things eventually but don’t feel there will be time before the end of this arc.  There are only two episodes left in the arc and a ton of stuff that has to happen.  My personal opinion and gut feel is that they will go into it more once Coulson’s deal come into play and their stakes are a bit higher with that looming.   They will also have more time to deal with it if they wait until after they get back home.  

That isn’t to say there won’t be some nice Philinda moments before the arc ends as they are reunited and fighting to get home, its the time for a good proper hash it out talk I think is lacking.   I also don’t think May is ready to go there yet.  She needs to heal both physically and emotionally before treading into romance territory.

.I really want to give Philinda fans the same advice I give to Fitzsimmons fans.  In that Manage Expectations.   Don’t go into an episode expecting kisses or epic moments and appreciate the ones that come, like awesome maveth parallel reunion hugs.  AOS likes to play the long game with its ships, and their time will come when its going to make the most impact on the story (I feel that is when Coulson’s deal and or secret comes into play OR he becomes a target of the baddies).  

i googled how far we are from the sun one time

there was icicles forming on branches
and it was so dark, so dark, and i was so tired

and it’s 15.81 light years, did you know
that’s how far we have to go to touch the sun,
and i just want to be warm, i just want to be warm

it’d burn me up inside, 
skin crumpling to ash, 
heart melting away, 
but i just want that warmth.
baby, i just want to feel that warm. 
do you understand, i just want to feel warm right now

and i know that icarus is tired now, i know,
but he tried to just reach up and glance his fingers across the sun
do you think he was that cold, do you think he was this tired

i hate the winter, did you know, spend it curled up,
starving for heat till my sister scolds,
says i’m wasting away, says i’m gonna rot away,
says i’m gonna die like this

baby, i want to touch a star
make it a dying star because i feel like a dying thing now

i just want to feel warm

and see, none of this means anything but—

the stars are pinpricks of greek fire in the sky, bright tonight
and do you ever think of how lonely it is, how cold it all is

like, baby, baby, space is just some black void and i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.
or maybe it’s more than that, maybe it’s not some emptiness but
how lonely do you think the stars are
it’s so cold in space. it’s so cold and 

nothing can breathe in space, can it
nothing can breathe like i can’t breathe now

i can’t breathe now

the stars are burning brightly tonight // wto for @letolatona

anonymous asked:

Hey Julia, am I a bad person if I'm in a committed relationship but have developed a crush on somebody else? I've been with my gf for almost 5 years now and love her very much, and have no intention of leaving her, but I can't help that I developed a little crush on a friend of mine? I feel super guilty and am not sure how I should go about it. I'm just kinda waiting for the crush to fade away....

1000000% normal- just experience it and let it pass. If it grows to be more than something of a big crush I would say it might indicate some issues in your current relationship but even then that’s normally a function of a very, very normal issue like just getting bored having sex with the same person for so long. You’re not a monster or weird or anything lol. It’s super common! Don’t give it a lot of power.

anonymous asked:

I thought i lost you kisses with Virgil and reader?

“I thought I lost you” kisses: The breath is knocked out of both of them with the force that they collide with. Hands grip the back of t-shirts and palms are pressed up and under shirts, holding them close, feeling the warmth of their skin. Palms are pressed to cheeks, thumbs swiping away tears until their mouths collide messily, the world seeming to disappear around them.

My first time writing a Sanders Side (there will be more coming I have some ideas)

Virgil hated travel, there was too many things that could go wrong and you knew that. It always took a long time for you to calm him down whenever you announced you had to travel for work. The flight out was fine, no issues at all and Virgil was close to panicking when you called him, but he relaxed instantly knowing you had arrived safely. The flight back was not as uneventful. You had never been in a plane crash before, but there was a first time for everything. It was odd that during the event, a calm part of your mind thought of how this was going to give Virgil even more reason not to want you to travel again. The more panicking part of your mind was hoping you were going to be able to see him again, and have that argument with him.

Everyone survived the landing, but it was a tense time and you were happy to get your feet on the ground again. After you were all allowed to go after being questioned – and providing contact numbers so you could be contacted if necessary – you wandered to baggage claim and then out of the arrival doors and your breath caught in your throat.

The Sanders Sides weren’t really in the habit of leaving Thomas’ house alone, or in his stead, unless they really needed to. Maintaining a physical form away from Thomas was hard for them unless they were in the mindscape, but as the crowds cleared, you saw Virgil hunched over against a wall, shaking, a hood over his head to hide his tears as he watched the people come and go. Crowds of family members waiting for their loved ones on the crippled plane would have been told there were no fatalities, but that did not stop Virgil from panicking.

As soon as you saw him, the magnitude of what had just happened fell on your shoulders. You could have died, and lost Virgil, lost everything you had built up together. Pulling your suitcase behind you, you ran towards Virgil, and he looked up at you as soon as he heard your footsteps. When you were only a few steps from him you dropped the handle of your bag and let it crash to the floor as you threw your arms around him. He didn’t like physical contact at the best of times, but he didn’t wait to wrap his arms around you as well and bury his face in your shoulder.

It didn’t draw attention as that was what most people who had survived with crash were doing with their loved ones.

“I thought…I thought I lost you.” Virgil whispered, his voice so low, so broken that your heart twisted at hearing it. “I thought-.”

“It’s okay Virge.” You murmured, cupping his face and staring deep into his eyes as you felt tears begin to track down your cheeks, “I’m here.”

He was still shaking with anxiety as he surged forward to kiss you. It was messy, wet and passionate, a kiss that portrayed all his emotions to you, and you returned the kiss in kind. The hubbub of the terminal faded away as you kissed, sinking into the warm feeling of each other’s arms, and the presence that you were together again, even after such a dramatic event.

Send a pairing (Mark/Jack Ego or Sanders Sides) and a kiss

anonymous asked:

I reallyyy want a paci but adult ones are so expensive!! Would baby pacis actually effect my teeth like I've heard a bunch of people say or could I get away it? I mean I'm fairly small anyway so I don't feel like it would make much of a difference.

I don’t believe that they are bad for your teeth the way that people say that they are.

The advice that I would give to you is to either search on Amazon for cost-effective adult pacifiers, making sure that they are the type that are for therapeutic purposes and not the generic kind that are just sold as novelties.

If you do want to go the other route… Then look for ones at the store in the oldest age bracket that you can. The nipples will be bigger and more flat and will suit your mouth much better.

anonymous asked:

My boyfriend recently told me he wanted to be a switch. In our relationship I've always been the little and he's always been daddy. I have no problem with him being a little because I know what it's like to not be able to regress, but now I find myself having a hard time regressing. I want to suck on my paci and play with my stuffies and call him daddy but lately I've felt like I can't because he needs me to be mommy. Now I don't know when I can go into little space and when I can't... Advice?

I am not a switch, and my daddy is the farthest thing away from a switch so from personal experience I don’t have any advice. So here is my advice not from experience, talk to him about it. I don’t know how you feel about being a Mommy but if you don’t wanna be a Mommy, then he can be a switch and he can be like your little friend and your Daddy, I’m not sure how switch couples decide who is what role when… maybe someone following me has advice???

sorry I couldn’t be of more help.

To my ex’s,

There are days where you wander into my mind, on days that i feel most weak. During moments that revive me.. remind me of a song you would sing along to or the way you would laugh at a joke i said, or something you mumbled once upon a time and i wonder how your life is going. Whether you’re in love, happy, still hating me, still loving me, still learning and growing.

There will always be a moment were i thought you would never be an ex, where i thought my heart was done rehealing, my heart was done gluing itself back together, where my heart was settled. But that moment blew away in the winter breeze, sealing my heart from your heat. But I guess that is just what moments are; an instant, a point of time.. you were just a point of time, an instant, a fraction of my journey.

I still remember your blue eyes, brown eyes, dimples, scars, how you laughed, how you cried, how one minute you could talk so deeply about the world and then the next want to make love. I remember each and every scent of you. I remember… alot. I only remember so i can remind myself that I have lived, that i still have so much to learn.

I find some people, after a relationship has become broken, they lock everything away and throw away the key. But my mind does not have locks. I still think of you from time to time, i like to remind myself that you were apart of my life once, where i thought i knew what i wanted.

Every time one of you leave, the beating instrument inside my chest reserves a place for your memories. It singes the edges of your fraction and the fire burns for a while but it heals and shows; the outside edges of your portion of my heart. There will always be that small scar that has love for you, whether you hurt me or loved me dearly. There is no point in hate or grudges or pinging.

Dear ex’s, there will be times i remember what happened but i will be okay; i am okay and i hope you are too. The path we chose did not lead us in the same direction and that is okay. I am glad i had those moments to walk beside you briefly. May your path lead you towards what you need and want out of life.

From someone you use to know.

Alreet you lot, I know it’s been a while since I put anything art related up.

For a long while I’ve been terrified to share any of my art or anything regarding my main self ship. I legit felt that people hated me because of it (I know that others self ship with him too and that’s okay- I’m chill with that) but it’s actually really refreshing to know that people don’t really mind as much as I thought.

It’s also even more refreshing that people support it too! And coming from when I started when it was seen as normal to make someone who shared an f/o feel like garbage, I’m glad to see that attitude is going away.

Thank you for all the support and kindness. I really love you all to bits. 💖🌟