my feels are literally out of control

If you don't have BPD...

You have no idea what it’s like to PHYSICALLY feel your thoughts eating away at you. My head literally aches all the time because I have zero control over my thoughts or my mood swings.

It takes everything in me not to lash out at those I love. Those I know who would be better off without me in their lives, but my fear of abandonment has made me so selfish and I cannot bare the thought of them not being around, so my mask is always on. I can never fully be my true self. And it hurts, it hurts so much and I’m so fucking tired. I’m so tired of the extreme thinking. I’m tired of never being enough. I’m tired of being ecstatic one minute and suicidal the next. I’m tired of overthinking and overanalysing EVERYTHING. I’m tired of the unpredictability and impulsiveness that comes with this shitty disorder. I’m tired of not actually being vacant for pockets of time in my day.

I hate being so dependent and I hate that I know I am? I hate that I’m incredibly self aware and I can see what my illness does to those around me.
I hate being a burden.

I did not ask for this. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS. And I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I am in chronic pain. The nightmare is constant and it’s never ending.

Treetop Confessions

Summary: An accident in training causes feelings to be confessed.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Language, implied sex.

A/N: I wanted to make a Loki or a Thor story in honor of the Ragnarok trailer, and I still may of y’all wanna see one, send me requests for either one of them! I just had this one in writing for so long and I FINALLY finished it. So Voila`!

Originally posted by stuckwithbuck

Ever since Bucky fucking Barnes came to the compound, I have NEVER been the same. The man showed up, and all of a sudden I lost all control of my emotions, hormones and body. Literally everything just fell apart. Also, I haven’t gotten laid in over 3 years. 3 YEARS. I’m not the type to take someone home and sleep with them once, or to be friends with benefits. It’s been my only promise to myself, to not have sex with a random stranger JUST because I’m feeling frisky, that’s what I have toys for. I only have sex with someone when I’m in a relationship with them. HOWEVER, James Buchanan Barnes may make me throw out every promise I’ve ever made to myself and not think twice about it. The sad part is I don’t really even know him very well, we only say a few words to one another. For the longest time I thought the guy just didn’t like me, and Steve had to reassure me that’s not the case, he just doesn’t know how to socialize anymore, and certainly doesn’t know how to talk to women. It’ll take some time, and I understand that. Doesn’t make it any less frustrating that I can’t get over this stupid school girl crush I have on the guy.

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lately i’ve been listening to all my 1d songs on shuffle while jogging and it constantly makes me want to DIE because of louis

he really went from no solos on the x factor, to singing a single line in a song either ruined by autotune or with liam’s vocals in the back, to writing and becoming engaged with the music his band was putting out, to finally getting some semblance of the amount of solos he deserved, to no control, to those incredible notes on mitam, to just hold on and like no offense i just have to!!!!!! die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from this:

to this

I LITERALLY FEEL LIKE BURSTING WITH PRIDE EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY CAN SOMEONE STAB ME

My current birth control method is making me emotional. Is there a method that won’t?

Someone asked us:

Is birth control just not for some people? I’ve tried a few options and I would almost “hulk-out” with my emotions, attitude and physically. I found myself miserable and angry at literally everything. It was worse than my menstrual anger too.

Some people have reactions to hormonal birth control that affect them negatively, but don’t worry — there are lots of options so you don’t have to put up with feeling like the Hulk!

Some people have more mild reactions to progestin-only birth control options, like hormonal IUDs, the implant, and the shot. There’s also a non-hormonal IUD that won’t change your hormone levels at all — it uses copper instead of hormones to prevent pregnancy If you’re looking for minimal side effects, IUDs are a great option worth looking into. They’re super effective and convenient too because they last for years without you having to do anything to make them work.

Take our birth control quiz as well to find out which birth control options might work best for you and your lifestyle.>> And you can go to your local Planned Parenthood health center to talk with someone about which method of birth control might work best for you.

-Julia at Planned Parenthood

why is it that this fandom ALWAYS finds something to demonize shiro for?? as if hes gotta be Perfect or hes toxic and a bad leader like??? if its not one thing its another i s2g and now of ALL things i keep seeing angry rants about how shiro treats lance like shit and hes toxic for him or some bullshit like?? that makes me so??? upset and kinda mad tbh??

are we forgetting that it was lance who shiro first extended his hand to?? that shiro told lance in episode one that they should all trust each other and make decisions together?? that lance is always ready with a counterpoint to any strategy shiro makes, but shiro NEVER yells or tells him to shut up or says he’s being stupid, simply counters his arguements with valid points?? that it was shiro that trusted lance to analyze the battleship layouts and double check strategies/ideas when they were going in to rescue allura in s1? that it was shiro who trusted lance to be with him on that mission in beta traz, didnt even try to interrupt him as he took that risky shot to save slav, cause he knew he could do it??

do they have a lot of moments together like keith and shiro or keith and lance do?? no, cause keith and shiro have history, and keith and lance have that constant rivalry to keep them running into each other. shiro and lance havent really found a mutual connection. YET. the crew has been making it a pretty obvious point to develop them individually before getting them to really interact with eachother on deeper levels. they have a plan and frankly peoples lack of trust in the creators and in SHIRO is very disappointing.

shiro isnt perfect, none of them are. he’s only human. but not putting lance on the pedestal that the fandom puts him on and then blaming shiro for lances own insecurities that shiro has had NO WAY or opportunity to really know about or pick up on is ridiculous.

shiro may have a bit of bias for keith, sure, but this fandom is WAY too biased for lance. he’s my favorite too, trust me, i get where some of your disappointment and worry is coming from. but letting it blind you and really get to you when we’re barely on season 2 is too much yall. its not healthy. and its disrespectful too. chill. take a deep breath. have patience. trust the creators, and please trust shiro and stop demonizing him for things out of his control smh.

Shtpost #1

[some content pasted from a hangouts message] 


You know what my aesthetic is? Chanyeol laughing so hard his right eye twitches and squints a little bit and he does that seal clap and his teeth just look like they’re about to fly off his face and he kinda sounds like a dying goose and then when he can’t control himself anymore he hits the person beside him like really hard and I literally won’t be surprised if he pulls a Dan one day and falls off his chair-

And also, do you know that feeling when you’re hanging out with someone you usually are pretty comfortable around but then on that specific day you just get really awkward and can’t make eye contact? Well, this:

I’m digging up all this treasure of CB in the past please just UNDERSTAND. Tomorrow I’m going snow tubing with my family and I was watching a video of EXO’rDIUM where Baekhyun and Chanyeol were derping off to Run with e/o and I just thought of how lucky they both are to have each other and be able to know each other because THEY’RE WILDTING SOULMATES DON’T ARGUE WITH ME.


UGH and the friendly thigh support there? Absolutely. Friendly. mhm yes some BEST FRIEND crap right there my bois being supportive of each other and each other’s wild ambitions yes yes. 

AND Another thing is how… aeSThetic they both are??? I just can’t believe I’m in the same era as them because I’m blessed. None of these gifs really have any other connection besides the fact that their appreciation and unconditional love (and unspoken respect) for each other is so beautiful and I love them so much I’m so glad I ranted I feel like a deflated balloon but like a really happy deflated balloon ya know what I mean? They’re real people. They’re physically there. I can see them and I can see their emotions and their actions and they definitely have thoughts that we might not see and that’s what’s so nice about stanning EXO in general UGH I’m going on forever about them because they’re just so precious and I love all of them so much it hurts me


Anyways, if you’re having a bad day and want to destress:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spdTvSvCCcg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPLxhnBVRjU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIvSdI7iZjc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2cN1GFvY2M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QP5TcbI5nY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mmkpcL5HpU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wmX5h4V_Rs


Have a great day, everyone! 🔥💛

Demons

Pairing: Linstead
Timeline: Sometime after 4.18
Genre: Angst/Comfort

A/N: I hope you didn’t forget me yet. I hope you like this, it just sort of poured out. As always you can thank @allenting​ for encouraging my headcanons (what would I do without you to feed my giant ego).

I think this was the hardest thing for me to write. I really wanted to get the conversation and the reasons right. I hope I managed to keep it in character.

I’ll appreciate any feedback!!

For the longest time, Erin’s favourite part of the day was coming home and snuggling into Jay’s chest after a tough day at work. Now, she has to be satisfied with a long-awaited beer at her favourite bar. The added bonus is that Jay is also there at the moment, and she can at least stare at him longingly, if nothing else.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

fee i need autistic reyna pls ud be good at this

i just had a fucking RAGER of a shutdown like the worst one ever and i’m trying to pull myself out of it so really what better of a time than this

  • she uses the exact same communication methods when she’s commanding a crowd as she does in every day conversation. it’s a little offputting and perplexing to everyone else, and she struggles very hard to communicate one on one.
  • she always thought she’d be a terrible leader because she really just doesn’t seem to be very good at talking to people and making people like her, but she’s stunned to find that 1. giving uninterrupted speeches where she gets very passionate about her topic go over quite well in front of a crowd 2. being very Intense and Focused when making a point in front of an audience is perceived as a sign of strength and wisdom, rather than aggressive or a turn off like it is when making small talk
  • her movements seem kind of mechanical or stuttered to most people. the only time her body seems to work the way she needs it to is when she’s fighting.
  • her lending her strength out to other people is genuinely the most selfless and compassionate act she’s capable of making, because it depletes nearly all of her spoons and makes her enormously vulnerable until she has time to recharge
  • she has such a difficult time with sarcasm. she ends up being grateful for her reputation as a super intense and slightly terrifying leader because this is the facade she uses to disguise that she literally cannot understand other people’s senses of humor sometimes.
  • she’s actually a super sweet and sensitive person but she often panics and feels so uncomfortable when other people start making jokes or using heavy sarcasm or excessively dry humor that she doesn’t understand, so she’ll leave the room.
  • it’s really sad and makes her feel sort of helpless because she can’t quite make friends and everyone seems to think she hates them, but she doesn’t realize that she has a resting bitch face and she just really truly genuinely forgets to say basic greetings sometimes.
  • she h h h h aa a a t e s showering, the water pellets feel like they’re attacking her and bar soap is hopelessly dry and starchy feeling and scented shampoos or shower gels feel nice but are so strongly scented that it sends her into sensory hell
  • she is absolutely floating on cloud nine when she discovers the roman baths.
  • sometimes she’ll be doing okay and everything will be cool but she just. needs a second. so she’ll quick find a door to lock herself behind and FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP….”phew.” and then go resume whatever she was doing.
  • she has a playlist of instrumental music (her faves are strings) and after a hard day of praetor work, she’ll put her headphones in and slowly rock back and forth to unwind. that’s like her favorite activity to do she could sit like that for hours.
  • she doesn’t really have meltdowns or shutdowns in the traditional sense but she DOES dissociate when she gets like really agitated. it’s a fairly new symptom (or it used to happen rather a bit when she was younger but she seems to have blocked it out, because it stopped when she arrived at camp jupiter and only starts up again once the war is over.) it’s more connected to her emotional state than anything else.
  • she looks very outwardly chill when she’s dissociating and it tends to be the “my body is moving on autopilot but i actually have literally no control of what i’m doing rn and i feel like i’m watching myself from outside my body” kind. if it gets REALLY bad though (like as in she’s very very agitated and emotionally distressed) it’s the “who’s fucking hand is this” kind
  • her dogs act like therapy dogs, really. she’s such a lucky bastard to have them i swear
  • she can usually sense when she’s going nonverbal before it actually happens (Luck y BASTARD) so she’ll start communicating in grunts and one word answers on purpose to like, charge up, or store energy or whatever.
  • she’s really good at keeping several spoons on reserve for important moments. she unfortunately had a lot of time to practice this with a childhood as rough and awful as her’s was.
  • if she says “i don’t want to talk about this” she really fucking means i literally do not—cannot talk about this right now and if you do not drop it i am literally going to fucking lose it. she usually leaves the room before it gets that bad.
  • cc’s spa is such a nice place for her because she can just braid people’s hair for hours and hours and she doesn’t have to talk to them or look at them she can just like use their hair and it feels so stimmy and nice
  • she is a hu m m e r she does a steady monotone hum when she’s happy or content or relaxed. circe’s customers used to gossip about it and she got really embarrassed so she made herself stop, and she doesn’t pick up the habit again until she’s at camp jupiter.
  • jason always thought it was really cute and he wisely never commented on it because he had a feeling it would make her self conscious (he was right). he always felt strangely honored that she felt comfortable enough that she would do it in front of him (even if he didn’t understand that it was a stim, he clearly knew it was something she did when she was happy and relaxed and only when she was alone or alone with him).
  • she was selectively mute (partially nonverbal??? idk what the terminology is for this is actually but It’s A Thing) as a child and so that was how she got diagnosed, because her teachers were always like “um HELLO sir your daughter doesn’t speak to us?? literally ever???” and her dad was like a total deadbeat, so he probably just punished her for it or called her stupid or whatever, but hylla exhausted all her resources researching it and was the best most supportive big sister any autistic kid could ask for.
  • eye contact is super bad in one on one or small scale situations but once again she looks a lot more comfortable in a crowd because she can just stare at everyone’s forehead or scan faces without really seeing
  • she’s super hyperempathetic towards animals!!!! (don’t fucking make me think about scipio!!!!!!! there was no fucking reason he needed to die!!!!!!!!!!!)
  • also animals really like her. this is a helpful skill when meeting lupa, understandably. she’s very good at wolf language, considering she doesn’t use words as her like most primary kind of communication (and sometimes feels like verbal speech is impossible)

Gratsu + Domestic Headcanons

For @ice-bringer , @evilkitten3
, and @gray-x-natsus-matching-hip-scars bc you seriously allll asked for this

Who’s more dominant:
Bruh. They’re equally matched.

Who’s the cuddler:
Natsu. Gray is the one who needs more space but Natsu needs attention and he will literally latch into Gray’s leg and refuse to let go as Gray walks around the house.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon:
They probably switch, but Natsu is like actually Jake Peralta saying “Who doesn’t like being the little spoon? It makes you feel safe.”

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity:
Sometimes they like to just hang out and not do much. But also, like. Any form of competition ever.

Who uses all the hot water:
Natsu, obviously. Gray doesn’t really care.

Most trivial thing they fight over:
Literally fucking everything. They fight just to fight. But it’s only for-real my-feelings-are-hurt fighting very little of the time.

Who does most of the cleaning:
Gray, but sometimes he gets mad at Natsu for not cleaning so he lets the trash pile up out of spite.

What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue:
Listen. They tried to settle this once and the remote flew out of their hands and broke their TV

Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:
Gray, but only because Natsu will nag him incessantly. Also:
Gray: “Why don’t you just heat it yourself?!”
Natsu: “It’s the principle of the thing, Gray!”
Gray: “Oh, it’s the prINCIPLE,”

Who leaves their stuff around:
Both of them do, but Natsu is worse about it.

Who remembers to buy the milk:
Nobody does. They’re together and busy all the time. They end up going to Costco once a month to stock up bc Natsu eats like a vacuum.

Who remembers anniversaries:
Dude. They compete for who’s gonna do a better job celebrating the coming year. This also goes for Valentines and birthdays.

Who cooks normally:
They’re really bad about actually eating at home. They’re away from home p often and don’t usually have a ton of food in the house so they eat out a lot.

How often do they fight:
I mean, once a day at least. But the real fights where they’re emotionally invested are way less common.

What do they do when they’re away from each other:
“What do you do while I’m gone?”
“Wait for you to get back…”

Nicknames for each other:
I mean they’re canon they’re insults… Gray will pull the “Babe” or “baby” card every once in a while but he’s careful about it because it will either get him sex or a punch in the face and it’s really 50/50.

Who is more likely to pay for dinner:
Gray is more likely to remember his wallet, but they’ve had to dine and dash out of forgetfulness before.

Who steals the covers at night:
Natsu. Gray wouldn’t mind if the boy wasn’t literally a fucking space heater.

What would they get each other for gifts:
A lot of times it’s joke gifts just to piss the other off, but sometimes they get each other something nice and heartfelt and the receiver just starts crying bc it’s just been a LONG DAY OKAY, SHUT UP

Who kissed who first:
Natsu. It was not hot or sensual or anything. He literally just pecked Gray, got super red, started spluttering, and things proceeded from there.

Who made the first move:
They’ve tried to figure this out before, but the problem is even they aren’t sure when they were and weren’t flirting, so you could go all the way back to when they were 13 with this argument and still not have a clue.

Who remembers things:
Gray, more often, but they can both be forgetful.

Who started the relationship:
Gray assumed Natsu didn’t want to date so he actually took longer coming around to the idea of a romantic relationship purely bc he was convinced Natsu didn’t want one. All while Natsu was trying to hint very heavily that he did want one. They’re a mess.

Who cusses more:
They both curse quite a bit, but Natsu has this weird habit of just stringing together random curse words to express his frustration.

What would they do if the other one was hurt:
I mean??? Somebody’s gonna get killed yo

Who is the dirty talker:
They both can dirty talk, but Gray is a little better at it. This is almost purely bc Natsu is already a talker and sometimes he just starts going off topic. One second it’s dicks, the next it’s “the latest Sandra Bullock film” like you cannot win

A head canon:
They’re??? Gay for each other??? They have the most disgustingly domestic arguments sometimes???
“Look at me when you’re talking to me,”
“Don’t walk away when we’re in the middle of a discussion,”
“It’s the principle of the thing,”
“I swear to god you get this habit from your dad,”
“I just feel like you’re always trying to fix something when I’m just trying to talk about how you made me feel,”

EPISODE 28 DRAMA PART 2 - Q&A

Part 1: Did Isayama have any say in this?

I’ve exhausted my salt supply because of the Season 2 cour drama already, (the one thing WIT Studio couldn’t have fucked up but did it anyway…) so I tried to be positive in my replies!

Anonymous said:

I m deceived of how they made the rivamika scene :( 

I feel you, anon! But honestly, after almost being scared to death while watching the raw stream because someone whose stream was ahead said they’d skipped the carriage scene again (@suniuz​ I’M LOOKING AT YOU LOL), I’m just relieved they did not skip that scene entirely.

@noatchka​​​ said:

I watched the 3rd episode of season 2, and Levi didnt say ‘dont make a mistake’, or something to Mikasa, but Towards Eren. I like that tho xD 

Nevermind, i saw your post xD 

Despite popular opinion, I also don’t really mind, as long as they do justice to Mikasa’s character development during the Uprising Arc, whenever it airs. Apparently they changed Levi’s scolding to be directed at Eren because of the butterfly effect that came with radically changing season 1′s last episode (rage mode Eren)

Pros: Changing Levi’s dialogue to “I dunno why you’re so attached to him, but protect him at all costs” made him seem just jealous of Mikasa and Eren, and that’s it. In the manga at least he had an excuse for what he said - he was concerned about Mikasa AND her performance. Rivamika feels!

Cons: Mikasa not being scolded takes away from her flaws and makes her character more dependent on Eren, and less on Levi (which is actually what happens in later chapters). Cue “Mikasa is a Mary-sue” and “Mikasa is just shipping fodder” comments. Plus, Levi’s scolding is one of the catalysts for almost her entire character development in the Uprising Arc, and that’s what I like best about Rivamika - Levi is the one that helps her mature in that arc.

It’s also bad for Eren’s character. While they removed his “I’ll know exactly who to point all this anger at…” line, they added his rage mode to episode 25, and now Levi’s scolding on top of it makes Eren seem even angrier and more out of control. We know he’s going to snap later this season because of Reiner and Bertholdt anyway, so what’s the point…? At this rate I don’t understand what they’re trying to get at with Eren’s character anymore.

Anonymous said:

I feel like the rivamika carriage scene got really trivialised…. my only consolation was seeing Levi’s face literally soften specifically for Mikasa when he gave her orders 

In the manga, while we can’t see Levi’s face when he talks to Armin, we can suppose he keeps the same expression when he’s speaking to Mikasa.

Notice above how his expression doesn’t change at all when he scolds Mikasa, after asking her why she’s so attached to Eren. In this episode, however, Levi’s expression is stern towards Armin, becomes softer towards Mikasa and turns even harsher towards Eren, because of his scolding!

That’s a big deal and something I’m eternally grateful to the anime for!

Anonymous said:

As time passes by I find myself even more disappointed and salty about how the carriage scene was handled. Mainly because of how Mikasa’s character is portrayed in the anime and how all the anime-only viewers I know see her and I quote “ she is a generic MC centered character with no actual purpose other than fighting and following the MC around. She lacks all the depth and development of other characters and as it is for a supposed main her presence feels insignificant ” and to my dismay I can’t defend her since The anime adaption does portray her that way with all the changes in season 1 and I can’t reference the manga in our discussions. I’m honestly worried about her character going forward………( two part ask. I guess having more than a 100 people bash one of your favorites while you watch helplessly does that. I’m mostly venting but I’d love to know your opinion on this if you don’t mind. )

Yes, unfortunately. See the pros and cons I wrote about above. We can’t do anything right now except be patient and wait and see if they fix it this season or next (which is more likely because… Ackermans).

Anonymous said:

With these drastic changes in the latest episode (which I was looking forward to so much) it is likely that EreMika and EreRi (NOTE: I have nothing against this 2 ship whatsoever) will gain tons of fans, it just saddens me RivaMika don’t even get much screen time and then the studio will just change it like that, and to top it all they had ruined Mikasa’s character development. We won’t even get the “How’s your leg part”… Is that too much to ask?? Do they really need to do that? 

I don’t think it was all that bad for the Rivamika ship relatively speaking. But which ship gets more fans because of that scene should not be the main concern here, it’s Mikasa, Levi and Eren’s character development!

As for the “how’s your leg” moment from chapter 53: Hold on, we don’t know if they’re going to cut that scene from season 3 just because of what they did to episode 28! Some time ago I even talked about how they might tie Mikasa’s missing monologue from episode 25 to that scene when it airs in season 3. Who knows, maybe Levi will scold Mikasa differently, in other circumstances!

It makes sense to postpone that part of Mikasa’s character development to season 3 since the Uprising arc is much more about these two (Levi and Mikasa) than the Clash of the Titans arc. But it doesn’t look good for Mikasa’s character in this arc - it takes away the balance that Isayama gave her from Levi’s scolding.

Anonymous said:

Hi! I know that you talked about the change in the last espisode, but I feel that they took away what Isayama himself put through several chapters: that feeling of curiosity towards Mikasa. They also eliminated the guilt of her, because first the dialogue of “the strongest man of humanity is injured because of me” was removed. And now the one of “protects to Eren but controlate” which just referred to that occasion of the fight with the woman Titán. (½) 

I would not be surprised if they removed the part where mikasa asks for his leg if they animate the bow of insurrection. The only thing I rescued from that moment in the anime, was that in fact Levi did not even scold Mikasa, instead to Eren himself and made him rather annoying. Sorry if my English is with google translate xD (2/2)

As I said above, let’s wait and see if they include these moments this season or next. Since they emphasized his leg’s injury with the added dialogue from last episode, I think chances are low that they’ll cut the “how’s your leg” scene from season 3.

@dark-als​ replied to your post “EPISODE 28”

I get that they are adapting things to fit with season 1 ending but I must admit I’m disappointed with how they handled this scene. I always viewed this scene as an important character development moment for Mikasa where she acknowledges her mistakes and takes responsibility for them. Yet they completely downplayed the moment … I really hope this doesn’t become a trend with other important scenes

I also hope this doesn’t become a trend, but let’s just wait. They can’t ignore this aspect of her character for too long because of the Uprising Arc. 

I’m still hopeful that they won’t cut the “is your leg okay” scene from chapter 53. In my opinion, the anime’s biggest fuck up was making Levi, despite his injury, use the 3DMG to stop Eren from eating Annie. But they included this line to last episode’s dialogue to remind everyone that he’s still injured and to explain why he’s not actively fighting in the Clash of the Titans arc. So you see, if they fixed their blunder with Levi’s character, there’s still hope they can fix the one with Mikasa’s.

@suniuz  replied to your post “EPISODE 28”

I was a little bit disappointed but maybe this means Levi doesn’t want to blame Mikasa in front of everyone else? (Idk I’m just trying to make myself feel less salty but yeah Mikasa taking responsibility for her own mistake is so important :’(

Maybe it is. But it’s the second time the anime skips over that matter (Mikasa’s blunder versus the Female Titan). While from a Rivamika shipper’s point of view that might be great since Levi seems less harsh on Mikasa (even less than he usually is, considering how lenient he was to her during the Uprising Arc!), I really hope that means they’re just postponing these scenes to season 3 so the context is easier for anime-only watchers to understand.

Lastly, I’m going to quote Isayama, because here’s a friendly reminder that he’s genuinely worried about her character development:

Isayama: Mikasa’s growth probably involves separation from Eren. By separation, I mean she might be able to return to that ordinary girl that she used to be in childhood…… I read some interesting thoughts from readers on the internet. People would say male mangaka have a tendency to reject the notion of “fate.“ On the contrary, female mangaka draw works that approve “fate.” You meet your Mr./Ms. Right, you say “This is fate!”, and you accept that the trajectory of your life is already predestined. People who interfere with that and seem to affect your serene life are portrayed as villains. Of course, I am not speaking of all mangaka, but with my mentality as a male mangaka, I think it is pitiful if Mikasa’s life is only about staying together with Eren. However to Mikasa, it is a wonderful thing to be with Eren forever. Combining what I’ve said, if I were to draw the separation of Eren and Mikasa, I feel like my portrayal likely won’t be satisfactory for readers, because Mikasa would have to endure the strain of being stuck between Eren and Armin…

If he allowed these changes there must be a very good reason, and we’ll only know it when this season ends or maybe when next season airs.

anonymous asked:

RFA finding out MC was raped? sorry if it's too much for you..

It is not, my angsty friend. It is not.

Alright, buckle up my guy this is going to be a long one.

~~Sensitive material pls don’t read if this will trigger you!~~

Yoosung

  • Feels legitimately sick
  • Starts crying and holds you close
  • “How can this world…be so cruel?”
  • You’ve never seen him get this angry before, but he throws his gaming mouse and it smashes to pieces against the wall.
  • Throws his hoodie on and heads out the door. He realizes he’s frightened you and he needs to take a walk to calm down.
  • He feels like punching every man he see’s into a pulp. Any one of them could be…
  • Throws up in the nearest trash can at the thought
  • Right now he hates the world
  • He knows it happened before you met, but he hates himself for not being there to protect you.
  • Finds himself sitting alone at the park, crying.
  • He’s glad you’re not there to see him like this
  • Oh, right…
  • “I’m being kind of a selfish douche right now, aren’t I?”
  • He realizes, admitting it out loud to himself
  • You have to be feeling 100 times worse than him, and he left because he couldn’t control his emotions…
  • Show back up at apartment, a giant bouquet of roses in hand
  • “MC, I’m so sorry. There’s…no excuse for my actions! I’m here for you now. And I’ll protect you from now on. For the rest of our lives. No one will ever touch you again. I swear it.”

Jumin

  • Jumin Han.
  • Is.
  • Pissed.
  • If you had x-ray vision you would literally see his blood boiling
  • But this guy has subtlety down to a fucking science
  • He seems so calm and collected and listens to you tell him everything that happened with a straight face
  • His hands are gently placed on your own and his eyes don’t stray from your gaze
  • The next few days he is extra caring, extra gentle, extra kind.
  • You feel so relieved to have told him
  • And his warmth, his soft response towards you after learning the truth was all you needed
  • But Jumin Han does not forget.
  • Jumin Han does not forgive.
  • Not what this prick has done to you.
  • Behind your back, he reaches out to someone.
    • “Saeyoung, I need your help.”
    • “Oookay?…With what? It’s got to be interesting if someone with your resources is coming to me.”
    • “I need you to be 707 again. Just for one more job. And I need it to be strictly between us. You’ll understand after I explain everything.”
  • With his money and Saeyoungs help it didn’t take long to locate them and put the plan in place
  • ‘707′ located a small, uninhabited and remote island far at sea
  • All Jumin needed to do was give the men his order
  • Less than a week went by before his phone buzzed in his hand
  • “Hm?”
  • An unknown contact
  • A photo of a man; battered and bruised, lying on the shore with sand in his wounds. The hands that had touched you had been burned.
  • Jumin smiled
    • “What is it, Jumin? A cat photo?! Let me see!”
    • “No, MC. Just something for work,” he glanced up from his screen. “Oh no no…this won’t do. Those heels are all wrong for that dress. They aren’t elegant enough for your legs. Let’s go buy you some new ones that are more fitting.”
  • He glanced at the phone once more
  • [DELETE]

◉ Zen

  • He wanted to drink and smoke until he was numb
  • He wanted to throw you on his bike behind him and ride away to somewhere remote and safe
  • He wished he could travel in time. Lock you in some distant tower like the princess you were, and protect you with his life
  • But life was not like a fairy tale and reality never hit him so hard
  • He felt your smooth touch on the back on his hand and looking down, realized his knuckles were white from the clenching of his fists.
  • He wanted so badly to kick the shit out of that asshole…whoever they were.
  • But that might mean the end of his career, maybe even jail time? And how would he protect you then?
  • His head was swimming with thoughts
  • That whole night, and for the next few days he was stuck to you like glue.
  • He looked like hell
  • He couldn’t sleep
  • He lay awake clutching at your frame and listening to your breathing
  • He told his agent he was sick in order to get some time off to watch over you
  • He never felt so small and helpless before
  • Looking over his piles of fan letters, he tried to regain some sense of self when he realized
  • He wasn’t powerless
  • All of these people looked up to him
  • They watched what he did, bought what he advertised.
  • If he couldn’t turn back time and keep this from happening to you…well maybe he could use his fame to keep this from happening to other people
  • He dialed his agent at once to put a plan in place
  • Hyun Ryu would be the face and spokesperson for a new campaign against sexual assault.

◉ Jaehee

  • She tried to control herself but you could see the coffee cup in her hand shaking
  • She had a lump in her throat
  • “Thank you for telling me, MC. I…I don’t know what to say.”
  • It was hard for her to organize her thoughts. How could anyone have hurt this person. The person she loved so much, who brought so much light and peace to her life.
  • As much as she tried to suppress it, she felt the tears welling in her eyes and quickly wiped them away
  • She didn’t want to be a mess in front of you
  •  Jaehee cleared her throat, placed her coffee cup on the table, and grabbed your hands into hers.
  • “Can we take this to court? Can we take some legal action against this person? I don’t care what it takes, but they won’t get away with this damn it.”

Saeyoung

  • He thought his stomach would drop through the floor
  • He felt like every nerve ending had been set on fire
  • You were laying on his chest on the bed that night, fast asleep.
  • Saeyoung ran his long fingers through your fragrant hair until the dawn poured through the window. His sleeve was soaked with the tears he quietly shed in the night as he looked at your peaceful sleeping face
  • Days went by
  • And an anger that began as a small match in his heart now felt like a raging fire which consumed him
  • Every chance he got, he was researching and researching
  • Why hadn’t you just told him who did this to you?
  • Well, he knew why
  • But why…
  • Maybe it was for the best
  • He had his own way of finding out
  • It took longer than he’d like to admit
  • He was rusty as hell
  • He searched police reports and newspapers, searched social media profiles
  • Finally he found them
  • “MC, I’ll be leaving in 2 days…another toy convention for the shop. I wish I didn’t have to leave you.”
  • He kissed your forehead
  • He used his special agent skills to locate the targets house and figure out when they would be alone
  • When they answered the door they were greeted by a powerful fist colliding with their nose full force
  • “That’s for MC, you fucking son of a bitch”
  • He grabbed them by their collar and lifted them up off the ground, raising his fist once more 
  • “And these next ones are for every year, every second she’s had to live with the thought of your disgusting hands on her. You’re lucky I don’t break every one of your fingers.”
  • He made a point to spit on the limp body before walking away, his phone buzzing in his pocket
  • “MC…”
  • He needed to come up with an excuse for his bruised knuckles before coming home…

I followed him home, I didn’t know why I was doing so. It was like something else was controlling me. He entered the bus and there were no seats, he took a standing position right in front of me. That ass. WOW. I could eat it out for hours and he could watch TV in another room. Fuck it was huge! He smiled at me before the bus started moving, I’m not sure how long he was smiling before I noticed… I was a little distracted. How embarrassing! His booty swayed to the left… then right… then the left… then the right. I had to have it, I had to!!! “Come with me…” I heard him say. My arms picked up my briefcase and my feet began to move. What was my body doing and why couldn’t my mind control it to stop? Was his butt contro… mmmm… his butt looks even nicer when it walks. I bet it smells amazing after a long hard sweaty day of work. I bet it feels really nice against my face… maybe that’s where I’m going? Maybe he’s letting me follow his ass (literally) home… maybe that’s what my new master…. wait what? Did I just say master? Fuck! I gotta get out of here… it’s… that… that… that smell! It’s rancid out here! Did he just?!?!? He gave me an ear rub and bent down to whisper “smell it”… holy shit! This guy just farted on me! But… the butt… it’s so beautiful… I’m sure I can deal with that.. that… uhhg! Stench for an ass like that. What are all these people looking at me? Haven’t they seen a butt slave before?

Until They Kill You

It wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t 

not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not 

That 

T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-thatttttttttttttttttt

Wasn’t 

She could barely move but she kept moving because if she stopped moving she’d be killed so she kept moving even though she could barely move 

Had to had to had to kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeep had to 

She grabbed the grabbed the knife before she left him – NOT HIM  – alone in the room. 

She had to keep keep keep keep

She knew she was leaving a trail of blood. Of hers, of his no of not-his it wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t him it wasn’t 

She collapsed against the wall once she found a place to hide. 

She was safe.

She was safe. 

For now. 

She knew she was – 

She was short-circuiting. She could feel it. Not because she was a – 

She was Jemma Anne Simmons. Not anyone’s replica. 

Of that she was sure. 

She hoped.

-

They took him. They took him. They took him like they took Daisy like they took Mace like they took Mack like they took Coulson like they took May and replaced him with an imposter who fooled her and betrayed her and manipulated her and –

Ouch. 

She looked at her leg.

– stabbed her. 

She was alone. She was all by herself and she was being hunted and she was all alone, and she didn’t know what she was going to do. 

She heard a noise and flattened herself against the wall, breathing heavily. 

She was – not she – not she -- it was here. 

-

Daisy’s L.M.D. pointed the shotgun axe at her, but Jemma had too much – just too too too much – and she knew she was in danger – that this could be the end – but she stood her ground, threatening not-Daisy with the knife she used to to to 

I’M ME. 

I’M ME. 

I’M ME. 

But the L.M.D. tried to convince her over and over just like just like his tried to convince her over and over of the contrary. 

“I’m me.” She said with conviction with rage with stubbornness and 

she had to be – she had to be – 

But the L.M.D. wouldn’t leave her alone. And tried to manipulate her just like his manipulated her. 

And the worst bit was it almost working. 

She was almost falling for it. 

A second time.

A second time, she was almost falling for it. 

She gritted her teeth and stood her ground. 

“Don’t touch me!” 

And then she was grabbed and thrown against the wall and then trapped, until she felt –

inside her – the gentle breeze of wind and vibration, and Daisy – DAISY – sighed, holding her tight, and she collapsed against Daisy, crying from relief. 

“Oh, thank God.” 

They held each other for awhile. 

She gripped Daisy tighter. Felt her flesh beneath her fingertips.

She wasn’t alone. 

She wasn’t alone. 

Daisy - true real living breathing Daisy was holding her and crying from real emotions dredged up from real pain and real assurance, and Jemma could feel herself suffocate from real relief. 

She wasn’t alone. 

She collapsed from the sheer knowledge of that one true, one perfect fact. 

She wasn’t alone. 

“Woa, Jemma!” Daisy struggled to catch her and looked down at Jemma’s leg. “Oh my God,” she breathed.

“H-h-h-is his L.M.D. stabbed me. It stabbed me.” 

Daisy held her tighter. “Okay. Okay.” 

She allowed Daisy to drag her to a better, a safer spot. 

She allowed Daisy to do this because she didn’t physically have to anymore. She wasn’t fighting with every breath – every muscle — every part of her –against a – a machine anymore. 

Daisy was living and breathing and guiding her and she let her. 

They settled against the wall, and Daisy began to tend to her wounds, and she leaned her head against the wall, and she closed her eyes. 

“He’s gone,” she sobbed. “Fitz is – Fitz is gone. They’re all gone, Daisy. They’re all gone.” 

Daisy continued to wrap Jemma’s leg. “There’s still hope,” she said with conviction.

Jemma sighed. 

Hope.

The entire base was against the two of them. They were going to be killed. And their friends were gone.

He was gone.

And without him, there was no hope.

-

I’m gonna say this right now. This episode was so fucking amazing that I can see myself writing codas for every scene. I just wanted to get what was most in my heart/mind down and post. Like, I literally just wanted to see where my base instincts led me. 

So don’t think that this is it for the episode. I will be writing and writing. And definitely feel free to request whatever you most want to see (except spec fic. There are so many who are already knocking it out of the park with spec fic). 

This was - without a doubt - my favorite episode of the series. A true, true masterpiece. 

I have not fully recovered in the best, best way. 

And of course, request whatever you’d like to see in other eps too. 

writing McPriceley fanfic like
  • Connor: my Gay Thoughts™ are under control
  • Kevin: im here to fuck shit up
  • Arnold: [is the one who actually fucks most of the shit up]
  • Connor: [sees Kevin] turn it off turn it off turn it off turn it off turn it o f f
  • canon: [happens]
  • everyone: woah that all happened so fast and we don't need to talk abt it
  • Connor: i literally came out in the final song of the show but i still feel guilty about my Gay Thoughts™
  • Kevin: [is rightfully miserable bc he got a book up the butt] everything!!! is!!! great!!! :D :D :D
  • Arnold: [is cute and in love w\ Naba]
  • Naba: [is cute and in love w\ Arnold]
  • Connor: Elder Price i've noticed you're sad so hmu if you need someone to talk to
  • Kevin: you can do the same with me Elder McKinley
  • Kevin: [realizes he really wants to talk to Connor abt the Gay Thoughts™]
  • Connor: [hell dream]
  • Kevin: [bad dream abt the General]
  • Connor: Kevin what are you doing here in the kitchen???
  • Kevin: what are YOU doing here in the kitchen???
  • Connor: i asked you first
  • Kevin: i asked you second
  • Connor: fine..... i was having.... the Gay Thoughts™
  • Kevin: it's okay i have the Gay Thoughts™ too i think... for YOU
  • Connor: for ME????? i have them for YOU!!!!
  • Kevin: can i kiss you???
  • Connor: pls
  • Kevin: FUCK yeah
  • Poptarts: [enters kitchen, sees McPriceley kissing]
  • Poptarts: finally
  • Poptarts: [exits kitchen]
  • [THE END]

anonymous asked:

I see alot of different opinions on what people think Shawn is like as a sexual partner. And I see things like he's just a big softie or he's a rough animal. What do you personally think cause I think to him it's all casual, but what about you And BTW I loooovvveee your account it's everything have a good day🌻🌻

Thank you so much, you made my heart happy<3

You should check out my Shawn Talk tag, because I’ve answered so many questions about this. I’ve said it before, Shawn is a flipping tease. Like he’s going to tease you so fucking much you cannot believe. But if you reverse it around and he’s the one being tease, he’s literally going to hate it. Like he’s going to be so needy and horny and not be able to control himself.

I think Shawn is a good mix of both rough and slow and tender sex. Like when he’s leaving (for tour or something else) or if he feels overwhelmed or stressed out, soft, slow and tender sex is what makes him feel better. Then I believe he’s all about keeping eye contact durning, kissing passionately, whimper little I love yous and stuff. Like it all just being really cute and really fluffy because he just needs to feel close and intimate to you. 

That being said, I believe Shawn has a rough and kiny side as well. Like if you guys haven’t seen each other for a while, he’s ready to fuck your brain out rather quick and rather hard. I believe when he’s in the mood, Shawn’s all about biting and licking and teasing. He’s about grabbing your thighs and leaving marks on your skin. He’s about pulling your hair back roughly and making you scream out “daddy”. 

It’s a bit of a mix, I believe. It depends on Shawn’s mood. 

Requesting backup

Hello friends and followers o/

I really try to avoid making posts like this because I have never financially been in a position to ever give back– I always feel terrible every time I see a post asking for monetary assistance because I can never assist, and as such I personally don’t feel like I have the right to ask for that kind of help.

But the truth of it is, right now, my boyfriend and I are desperate.

My mother is not in a position to help us, my father has said no, and we owe my boyfriend’s parents more and more money as this financial crisis spirals out of control. We’ve had to resort to using a loan service which, though we’ve been paying it back, we’ve fallen into a vicious cycle that doesn’t allow us to properly catch up.

We just got paid yesterday, only to have the paycheck disappear as a result of groceries, bills, repaying loans, and repairing my computer.

The day after payday, we are literally broke. And the next paycheck doesn’t come for two weeks.

We have nowhere else to turn and it’s starting to put a heavy strain on us, and though I feel utterly ashamed to be asking, I’m asking nonetheless for any help you guys can spare in helping us get to a place where we’re stable again– whether it’s donating money, or gift cards, or even just boosting to get the word out that we genuinely need help (or heck, even some kind words of encouragement keep us going too!), anything you guys can do would mean the world to me and more.

Since I’m (obviously) not able at present to return any kindnesses shown with money or giveaways or anything like that, I’d like to instead offer this:

For every donation received, I’ll make an origami surprise with a hand-written note of gratitude to send to each donor in the post (this will of course, require your address, and must regrettably be limited to the United States).

My email (for Paypal as well) is the.yankee.vandal@gmail.com

Thank you all in advance for your kindness and support!

I HAVE WRITEN 1,210 WORDS OF MY FIRST MCKIRK FIC

The words came flying out of my brain and onto my computer.  No control whatsoever. 

Literally someone stab me it would hurt less than the feels that this is giving me. 

I HAVE WRITTEN 1,200 WORDS AND LITERALLY ALL THEY DO IS HOLD EACH OTHERS HANDS FOR THE FIRST TIME

(and it’s not even holding hands, its barely touching fingers)

I need someone to hold me because I am being dragged down the McKirk hole.  Please.  Have mercy.  

4

So I blocked this guy a few days ago due to /tell spamming and trying to make me feel bad since I wouldn’t hang out with him and do roulettes while I was spending time with my girlfriend instead of him. And now he follows me around sitting literally right on top of me while I’m rping with a friend or anywhere I go. Another person posted what he was saying in /say and spamming emotes on us.

I’d suggest to stay clear of Evani Voldani on Balmung, other players have had issues with him as well. He is obsessive and it’s getting completely out of control. I don’t like to call out people usually and its probably frowned upon but I don’t care, this pushed me over the edge. This guy has issues and is straight up creepy. He changed his tumblr URL so I don’t know that but at least can look out for the name and stay clear.

The Fifth Harmony fandom is mad at Camila for saying that she felt uncomfortable being sexualized when she was younger (even UNDERAGED). Somehow because Camila said that she didn’t like her sexuality being out of her hands & being forced by management to show more skin/be more provocative shes a bitch? And yall call yourselves feminists?

Also she even said that its important for women to be able to control their own sexuality & feel comfortable with herself. So don’t throw Bad Tings at her face or call her a slut shamer?? She literally just didn’t want to be sexualized by grown ass men without her will. 

Saying that Camila doesn’t have a right to complain about being forcibly sexualized because of her song leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and it should leave one in yours too. This is the same argument people give while raping girls/prostitutes, like “oh she willingly had sex once, so now she must always be willing”? Just because Camila wrote a song about sex does not mean that she is suddenly allowed to be sexualized without her permission.

Ariana Grande fans could understand this, but Fifth Harmony fans? All they care about is hating Camila, and they are willing to throw their feminist ideals under the bus to do it.