my feelings never do

anonymous asked:

Do you remember "I bims"? it's now Jugendwort des Jahres :)

I JUST HAD LUNCH WITH MY MOM AND SHE FROWNED AT HER PHONE AND TURNED TOWARDS ME AND WAS LIKE “what’s ‘I bims’?” AND I WAS CONFUSED WHERE SHE HEARD THAT FROM AND SHE WAS LIKE “it’s the Jugendwort des Jahres” AND I SWEAR I SAW MY LIFE FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES

Happy birthday Zen!
Here’s my April Fools’ prank. I promised something spicy but you get fluff instead. I hope you’re not making a sad face. I’m smiling (: 

I haven’t animated in so long??

i want to make a list of movies/books/etc where a major plot point is “mom helps daughter kill a man who hurt her, or at the very least helps her hide the body” but in general that is never what the actual plot is about, so it’s huge spoilers, which is ACTUALLY KINDA WEIRD now that i am thinking about it. with dad movies it’s the whole plot of the things, SOMEONE HURT HIS DAUGHTER AND NOW THEY’RE GONNA PAY

but i read a book once that was entirely about a girl going back to her hometown after twenty years and trying to reconcile with her mother after The Incident. then they finally reveal 80% of the way through the book that The Incident was that protag thought she’d killed her date rapist and had been scared to come back because she’d somehow made it twenty years without consequences, but actually she’d only seriously injured her date rapist. protag’s mom had found the guy while looking for her wayward daughter, realized what happened, and ran him over with her truck and buried the body under her garden. she never said anything because of Mom Code.

there was no indication at any point prior to this that this was a book about a murder. it was a heartwarming coming-of-age story about a woman entering her middle years learning to better understand her mother. that just happened to include covering up a murder. protag thought her mom was just an obsessive gardener.

The whole “Lucius was abusive with Draco” thing has always been so funny to me. Really, I don’t get how people are able to believe something so silly. 

Seriously, guys, wake the fuck up, if Lucius had been abusive with his son, he wouldn’t have been a part of the series. You know why? Because Narcissa “If you attack my son again I shall ensure that is the last thing you ever do” Malfoy would have killed him ten times in a row. 

Having a sibling is super weird because you’re constantly torn between “wow I can’t believe this is real oh man you’re a great sibling I really love and appreciate you” and “oh my fucking god I’m going to throw an axe at your face and commit homicide real soon if you don’t stop being so annoying I swear to god”

4

…Did we just scale to the top of a mountain, and fly back home again?

                                                                     — M20 : Kimi ni Kimeta.

A thought: Modern flinthamilton AU in which Alfred is still a homophobic douchebag but they went ‘fuck you’ and got married anyway.

I call this “Thomas I don’t think your husband is listening to a single word you say…… he’s… distracted”

anonymous asked:

I like how this blog is becoming "buck-grampa, tell us a story", "aight, lil shorts, there was this cow..." Cuz you're old.

wait what???? im old???? i hadnt noticed, i thought that 100 year birthday party was for a different jackass with a metal arm. 

look, the only reason most of my stories are about the good ole days is because most of the morons i hang out with now have blackmail on me. and i have blackmail on them. we’re all doing the nuclear deterrent thing, it seemed appropriate with the russian-american vibe we’ve got going.

so i cant dish dirt on them without getting dished back. 

and i like you guys just fine, but i would rather murder every one of you than let tony tell anyone the story of the three shrimp plates. 

death before dishonor and all that

4

Quick confession: he leaves me breathless and renders me speechless all the time

LISTEN UP WRITERS I’M WELL AWARE THAT YOU DON’T OWE ANY OF US SHIT BUT I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS IF YOU GIVE US BRAVEN AND THEN HAVE BELLAMY LEAVE HER FOR CLARKE ONCE THEY GET BACK TO THE GROUND THAT WILL BE THE LAST STRAW BECAUSE RAVEN REYES DESERVES BETTER THAN THAT! IM NOT HERE TO WATCH RAVEN BE SECOND RUNNER UP TO CLARKE ONCE AGAIN! I’D RATHER HAVE NO ROMANTIC BRAVEN THAN WATCH HER BE HAPPY WITH BELLAMY THEN HAVE YOU RIP THAT AWAY FROM HER TOO!