the incident with the toaster Draco was still wary of unknown kitchen appliances;
wariness, however, hadn’t turned him away from learning and he had by now
mastered most of the contraptions in their kitchen.
one, he could now make the most perfect toasted bread. He also knew how to use
the stove (easy enough as long as he thought about it in the line of: fire,
cauldron, ingredient). He even perfected the use of the microwave. Well almost.
He had not yet perfected his reaction to the obnoxiously loud ping! that made him jump every single bloody
time his back was turned. Ok, it sometimes made him spill his tea on his shirt
too, but that wasn’t the point.
unfortunately, was the day Draco Malfoy decided to use the blender. Harry never
used it, because ‘only babies need their food in liquid form Malfoy’, but Draco
watched Hermione use it once and it didn’t look too complicated, besides, the
smoothie she had made with it was surprisingly tasty.
prepared the fruit first; a banana, blueberries, strawberries… hmm that should
do, right? He cut the fruit to manageable pieces, put it in the blender bowl, added
some water, mounted the bowl onto the blender, plugged it in and–
was the lid?
one even need the lid? That surely wasn’t an essential part of the blender,
right? Even cauldrons didn’t have lids and it’s not like smoothies exploded, he
apprehensively lifted his finger towards the ‘ON’ button. Here goes, he though
when pressing firmly on it. A sudden roar came from the blender, then, before
he could even react, he saw the contents surge upwards, upwards and out. Oh, shit. He saw a piece of banana flying towards his face when his
eyes closed instinctively and he felt the sticky gooey pieces of fruit hit his
face, his chest, his hair.
lid, apparently, was a crucial part
of the blender.
eyes slowly opened, his nostrils flared and without even performing a cleaning
charm on himself, he strode out of the kitchen and went to collect their owl
sleeping quietly in his cage. Bloody fucking Potter and his bloody fucking
kitchen shit, he will send him the worst fucking Howler he had ever received in
his entire life and he will make damn sure he gets it right in the middle of
the Auror offices.
glanced at Bimbo, the kind but stupid looking owl that he and Draco had saved (from a pigeon attack) about a year ago. He was carrying an ominous red envelope that
was already smoking at the edges. Uh-oh, Harry though. What had he done now? He
swiftly took the envelope from Bimbo’s beak, rushed out of his cubicle and
started sprinting towards the toilet. The whole department will not be privy to
his embarrassment again.
way down the hall, the envelope exploded and the voice of an enraged and - what
was even worse – extremely offended Draco Malfoy filled the Auror Department. ‘’YOU
FUCKING WANKER! MY FACE IS COVERED IN STICKY GOO! IT’S IN MY FUCKING HAIR,
POTTER. IN MY GORGEOUS FUCKING HAIR!’’ The voice roared and echoed around the level
two. ‘’AND IT’S ALREADY BEGINNING TO DRY. IT’S CAKED TO MY FACE POTTER AND
NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR SPITTING, EJACULATING TOY
WILL EVER BE FORGIVEN.’’
stood in the middle of the hallway, eyes wide, cheeks flaming, with the whole
department’s worth of eyes staring at him. ‘’It’s not –‘’ he mumbled. ‘’It’s
not what you think it is,’’ he whispered to no use as the whole department was
consumed by mounting laughter.
I drew Merlin again because something in me just nEEDed to, and now I shall post it cause i want to collaborate in the fan art world. This was HEAVILY inspired by one of @whimsycatcher’s digital art. She’s amazing like wow x100, so yes if u wanna follow a smooth Merlin fan art account, follow her. Obv mine isn’t as great but still I hope you like it!!