my favorite song again

It’s Quiet Uptown

So I want to talk about my favorite moment in Hamilton because I never have, and with the mixtape early singles, I’m now listening to the Kelly Clarkson version of this song and thinking about it again.

This is my favorite song for a lot of reasons, mainly because it has my favorite two lines in the entire show in it… “There’s a grace too powerful to name” and “Forgiveness, can you imagine?”

But here’s the deal. This entire show has been building to Alexander’s greatest foil- his ego and pride while he fights to advance and stay ahead… to the point that at his worst moment, he publishes a long essay detailing his affair to defend rumors that he mismanaged money… and is so fixated on protecting his name, that he literally doesn’t even stop to think about how this will effect Eliza, and his family. Angelica shows up and he actually thinks she’s there to defend him. 

And then you have his son, who loves his dad, idealizes his dad, wants to be just like his dad, and he goes out into the world, and defends his dad against people who are insulting him, to the point that he ends up in a duel to defend his dad’s name/honor. And Alexander LOANS HIM THE GUNS for the duel. He’s not like “you know what son, I don’t really deserve to have you defend me like this, they’re right, I screwed over your mom and my actions are not defendable.” He’s like, yeah, okay son, let me show you how to duel, here, take my guns, have fun!

And then Philip dies. And I don’t think it’s until that moment Alexander truly realizes what his selfish pride has done to his family. And you hear it in the lyrics, they retreat from public life, he starts going back to church and praying, he’s actually for the first time repentant. 

And then there’s this lovely song, where he finally apologizes to Eliza, admits that this is his fault, admits he doesn’t deserve her, states he’s willing to die if it could bring their son back. 

And since Burn, Alexander and Eliza haven’t touched, there is a clear coldness between the two, when she’s sobbing over Philip she won’t let him touch her to comfort her. 

And then on the line “They are standing in the garden, Alexander by Eliza’s side, she takes his hand.” And they’re center stage, and when Eliza takes hold of his hand, Alexander breaks down, he loses it, he is literally standing there sobbing on stage, head bowed, overcome with emotion, while my favorite line covers them “Forgiveness, can you imagine.

And for the first time I think Alexander finally realizes how much he doesn’t deserve this forgiveness. His pride literally killed his son, his son died defending his honor when it didn’t deserve to be defended, and here is his gracious and loving wife, who still forgives him, even though he doesn’t deserve it, they both know he doesn’t deserve it. 

That simple moment, Eliza reaching out and taking hold of his hand, Alexander sobbing when she does… that to me is the most beautiful, powerful, poignant moment of the entire show. It’s the moment that I’m going to remember 50 years from now as one of the most moving moments I’ve ever seen on stage. 

You always hated my favorite song so I stopped playing it after you left in hopes that you’d come back.
—  Things I realized when I thought about what I want to tell you if I ever see you again, part IX
My Favorite Songs from 2016 (Playlist)

Hey all! I have once again carefully crafted a playlist of my favorite songs of the year! Lots of good stuff to fill your ears, and maybe some gems that might have passed you by!

I think I would have to say Your Best American Girl by Mitski was my favorite song, and my favorite album was probably Hitch by The Joy Formidable. It’s a close race this year, though!

Here are my favorite 50 on Spotify!

Here are my favorite 10 on Spotify!

And here’s the whole list for browsing, and nodding at, and going “hmm”, or whatever:

Hades Pleads – Parker Millsap

Magic – Gungor

Born Again Teen – Lucius

Katchi (feat. Leon Bridges) – Nick Waterhouse, Leon Bridges

Awoo (feat. Betta Lemme) – Sofi Tukker, Betta Lemme

Cheap Thrills – Sia

Conqueror – AURORA

Wheat – Wilderado

Ways to Fake It – CRX

Loudspeaker – MUNA

Crying in the Sunshine – Miniature Tigers

Brazil – Declan McKenna

Hurt Like Hell – The Heydaze

Shake This Feeling – Switchfoot

Way Down We Go – Kaleo

Swings And Waterslides – Viola Beach

Classic Masher – Pixies

Strange – LP

Cleopatra – The Lumineers

Anywhere – Passenger

White Flag – Joseph

Heart Is Black – Escondido

Whatever – The Beths

Anything – Catfish and the Bottlemen

Thank God For Girls – Weezer

So Alive – The Goo Goo Dolls

Laugh About It – Paper Route

I’ll Be Around – The Growlers

Stop Desire – Tegan and Sara

Diamonds and Gold – The Gray Havens

I Hope – Har Mar Superstar

Lowlife – That Poppy

Heathens – Twenty One Pilots

OBLIVIUS – The Strokes

Paracetamol – Declan McKenna

Your Best American Girl – Mitski

Ophelia – The Lumineers

Spirits – The Strumbellas

Kiss the Night – Gungor

Victorious – Wolfmother

Liana – The Joy Formidable

House On Fire – Sia

Youth Without Love – Har Mar Superstar

All Day All Night – River Whyless

Rest In Peace – Yellowcard

Shadows of the Dawn – The Gray Havens

Titus Was Born – Young the Giant

While My Guitar Gently Weeps – Regina Spektor

Half The World Away – AURORA

Endless Bummer – Weezer


to jason that stocks bananas in walmart,

you sent me videos to watch tonight when we were video chatting. you didn’t notice because you were doing something with your phone but i stopped watching the videos on my phone for a little while and i just started watching you.

you can say i’m beautiful as much as you want (and i will probably continue to deny it) but jason, i swear, there is something mesmerizing about you.

this is going to sound cliché but seeing as you won’t ever read these letters unless i choose to direct you to them anyway, i’m going to say it: i never need to hear my favorite songs again, your laughter is the best sound i have ever heard. it’s magic. even if just for a moment, it makes everything okay.

when you laugh, it feels like i’m flying.

i hope that one day i can make you feel like you’re flying too.

- the girl with the glasses.


bgm: can’t take my eyes off of you by frankie valli

Okay I have no where else to jot this down so it's going here

Tattoos I want in the future!
-Chloe Price’s tattoo from LiS (SpIn and I relate to her on so many levels)
-tattoo for my friend who committed suicide on my left shoulder blade
-tattoo on both shoulder blades of the lyrics ‘this could be heaven or this could be hell’ (favorite song of all time)
-left arm half sleeve of my favorite Pokemon from gen 1 since that’s where my SpIn for Pokemon started
-wrist tattoo of the sigil for water
-other wrist with a symbol for protection
-ring finger with the water symbol from the pentagram
-on my hips the lyrics ‘we are all just prisoners here, of our own device’ from my favorite song once again
-then unplanned ones in the moment when I go on trips places with my gf~

You’re like every album I ever loved making me slam on my breaks at even a hint of a yellow light just so we can have a stoplight interlude for my full attention to be placed on you. That beige sweater you’re wearing in the dead of February is better than the breaths Taylor Swift takes before every sweet melancholy word falling off her lips. You’re my wildest dream. I’m not speeding through these roads anymore because I’ve got a song in my front seat that I want to play over and over and over again.
—  My favorite song, forever.