As loyal readers will surely remember, we’ve had a lot of fun with the default replacements already. There was Komei’s hotter cousin, hot Priya Ramaswami, bimbo Kaylyn Spitzig, inappropriate make-up cop, mismatched beard rando and my personal favorite, emo repairman Waylon Fairchild Dementia Way ❤
But sadly, the joke has reached its peak and so it’s time to lay it to rest. Sometimes, no matter our plans, the world just takes over in sudden and unexpected ways. People march. Regimes fall. MCR breaks up. And Goopy shows up looking like this:
You truly can’t make shit like this up. This is some cosmically fated, planet alignment crap. The universe, in its infinite wisdom, brought this shirt to my download folder, uniting it with the only man who would ever actually wear it. I just wish one day I can meet a girl as destined to be with me as the Goopster was to be with this default replacement outfit. Inspiring stuff.
I immediately send Komei out to greet Goopy, thinking they’re gonna become besties, since they’re both part of the iconic og townie crew!
-Oh bro, when I heard you got married to a hot legacy chick, I assumed you had gotten in at like generation 8, when the cash has already piled up! But a broke-ass founder? Wtf were you thinking?
-Ugh please Goopy, some of us want to challenge ourselves instead of picking the easy way out. You of all people should understand that, having the nerve to pick romance with that fucking mug.
-HEY fuck you, you crazy cat bastard, at least I have a real job!
-Oh yea, and what job is that? Scaring birds away from the fields?
-Ugh, Marissa was right, you’re even more of a dick than before!
-Wait, you talked to Marissa? Did she mention me??
-Yea, she said that you wouldn’t bang her for some reason? Wtf is it, some weak-ass sense of loyalty to your wife?
-What??? How dare you imply I have any loyalty to my wife!
Wow, let’s pray that Komei’s reputation survives those slanderous accusations! Stay strong, Komei.