my favorite magical dude of all time

queergodzilla  asked:

yo so i saw your beautiful purple prose rant and, like. do you have any book recs? I'm about to finally finish my education stint for a while so summer's looming and full of promise

Yes I do! (the post in question, for the curious.) 

Firstly, very nearly foremostly, do you know Catherynne M Valente, a writer who believes in indulgence rather than sparsity, who’ll DROWN you in beautiful words until you’re sort of gasping for breath under the sheer rippling weight of her sentences, until you emerge from her books in like a post-coital haze, not totally sure what happened, but dizzyingly certain it changed you? 

Deathless is my favorite, but I also love Radiance and Six Gun Snow White

If you don’t know Nabokov, NABOKOV YOURSELF UP. He is the KING of purple prose. My favorites are Lolita, Pnin, and Pale Fire, which I honestly think contain some of the most beautiful passages ever composed in the English language. Here, I’m gonna let Nabokov Nabokov at you for a second, in the guise of the protagonist of Pale Fire, talking about the miracle of writing: 

“In the large envelope I carried I could feel the hard-cornered, rubberbanded batches of index cards. We are absurdly accustomed to the miracle of a few written signs being able to contain immoral imagery, involutions of thought, new worlds with live people, speaking, weeping, laughing. We take it for granted so simply that in a sense, by the very act of brutish routine acceptance, we undo the work of the ages, the history of the gradual elaboration of poetical description and construction, from the treeman to Browning, from the caveman to Keats. What if we awake one day, all of us, and find ourselves utterly unable to read? I wish you to gasp not only at what you read but at the miracle of its being readable (so I used to tell my students). Although I am capable, through long dabbling in blue magic, of imitating any prose in the world (but singularly enough not verse–I am a miserable rhymester), i do not consider myself a true artist, save in one matter: I can do what only a true artist can do–pounce upon the forgotten butterfly of revelation, wean myself abruptly from the habit of things, see the web of the world, and the warp and the weft of that web. Solemnly I weighed in my hand what I was carrying under my left armpit, and for a moment I found myself enriched with an indescribable amazement as if informed that fireflies were making decodable signals on behalf of stranded spirits, or that a bat was writing a legible tale of torture in the bruised and branded sky. 

I was holding all of Zembla pressed to my heart.” 


Another dude I love who makes his language fucking scintillate is Marquez. Almost all magical realists favor purple prose–sentences that GRAB YOU and SEDUCE YOU and describe dark things beautifully and beautiful things darkly and leave you dizzied and hungry in the crepuscular space between adjectives. Love in the Time of Cholera and 100 Years of Solitude are my favorites. But, like. He’s Gabriel Garcia Marquez. You can’t go wrong. 

Karen Russell doesn’t always write magical realism, but her prose is magic as fuck. Swamplandia! and St Lucy’s Home For Girls Raised By Wolves are the best. A tiny representative sample: “Quiet rode outward like a wildfire after that, engulfing the ditch and me inside it. I held onto the flashlight with both hands. I listened for my sister’s movements inside the dredge; instead, I heard the creaklings of quick, hunted life in inside the ditch and the groans of the taller trees in the center of the dome.” Someone lamer than Karen Russell might have taken the same content and written: It was quiet. All I could hear were wind and crickets. Instead we get quiet RIDING like a WILDFIRE, quiet ENGULFING, trees groaning, bugs and animals CREAKLING, quick and hunted, because Karen Russell is a BAMF.

There’s always Junot Diaz, who knows exactly how to dazzle you with glittering spiked sentences and then how to punch you hard in the heart with emotions. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and Drown are the best, but all the Junot Diaz stories are worth your time. 

Helen Oyeymi is a little subtler and less in your face, but that’s just because her sentences are quicksand. You think you’re on solid ground, but then she sucks you in and you find yourself somewhere shadowed and strange cupping the word “rat-catcher” between your hands and wondering why it looks beautiful. Boy, Snow, Bird and what is not yours is not yours are my favorites. 

Other writers who write just as goddamn beautifully but who I’m just going to list instead of individually reccing because I’m getting tired include: 

JIM SHEPARD, possibly my favorite short story writer of all time, check out Love and Hydrogen and Like You’d Understand Anyway and You Think That’s Bad and literally every single one of his short story collections, the man is a fucking masterclass
ANGELA CARTER
FRANCESCA LIA BLOCK
SARAH SHUN-LIEN BYNUM!!!!!!!
KEVIN BROCKHEIMER 
STEPHEN MILLHAUSER (I LIED, CHECK OUT THE WIZARD OF WEST ORANGE, IT’S SO GOOD)
KATE BERNHEIMER
ILYA KAMINKSY 
RON HANSEN (READ MARIETTE IN ECSTASY. READ MARIETTE IN ECSTASY RIGHT NOW. AND THEN READ EXILES, AND DESPERADOES, AND THEN THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD. THEY’LL ALL KILL YOU SO GOOD.) 
THOMAS HARRIS, OBVIOUSLY. 

AND I CAN’T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT:

OSCAR 
FUCKING 
WILDE 

like if you haven’t read Dorian Gray, READ DORIAN GRAY. But then come back, because the language in the plays and the stories is witty and engaging and fucking bejeweled, Oscar WIlde’s language gleams and trembles like the scarlet flash of a ruby caught in the eye of a martyr’s skull in a Roman catacomb. 

anonymous asked:

whats your all time favorite ship fic?

all time fav??? that’s so hard dude gahhh okay I’ll do top 5 bc i seriously can’t pick an ult fav… they are possibly in order to try and answer your question, but it really depends on my mood from day to day on how i list them lol

house of cards | mobster/empire au (taekookmin)

golden boy | olympic volleyball au (namkook)

swamp magic | witch au (taekookmin)

some killer king you are | x-games au (taekook)

feel it kicking in | beach town au (taekook)

ultimatescream  asked:

Sooo, i keep seeing you posting drabbles about elriel. Talk to me about them: who are they, are they book characters? 😊

Emma! So glad you asked! (Seriously I’m fangirling over them so much rn asdfasdf.) I’m going to post this publicly for anyone else who’s interested ;)

SO, elriel is a ship from one my favorite YA fantasy book series of all time: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas. The story basically starts with a human girl, Feyre Archeron (aka my badass lil’ bby queen), discovering more about the faerie realms above the wall that separates them from the human world. Long story short, she meets some assholes (aka the dude everyone in the fandom calls The Tool), thwarts some evil magic ppl and their plans for world domination, and meets the most fabulous faeire/fae High Lord in all the universe, Rhysand (aka my entire reason for being).

The ship elriel actually involves two of the side characters in the books, though: Elain, one of Feyre’s older sisters who gets pulled into the fae world after some of the evil magic ppl want to use her against Feyre, and Azriel, one of Rhysand’s bffs and a winged warrior with special shadow powers and a Tragic Backstory™. Elain is a sweet gentle little flower child and Azriel is the strong silent but polite type so I think they mesh really well together. (They’re frickin’ adorable ok, I just ugh, I love them so much).

I didn’t really ship them until the third book however, where we see Azriel being very sweet to Elain after the trauma she suffered earlier on. There are also a lot of beautiful moments between the two of them; he runs to her rescue at one point, and at another he gives her his legendary sword in the middle of a battle (which sounds weird out of context but it was just SO GOOD). The fandom is divided on them though, because Elain also has another love interest, Lucien (aka everyone’s favorite ginger). The book ends with her relationship status being rather ambiguous but I got the feeling that the author was leaning towards Elain and Azriel eventually getting together… but that might be my shipper heart seeing things the way I wanted to see them. (I really hope not though. Really, really hope not. I just want my children to be happy and in love.)

Either way, I took elriel and ran with it. I’ve already written six drabbles about them and have another four in the works. And I don’t plan on stopping for a while yet, haha. The feels have to be let out somehow ;)

9

Believe

Dear Maya
This is my favorite season! It’s a time of magic & miracles, candy canes & cocoa, wonder & wishes…. But most of all is a time for sharing with family & for making memories with the people we love the most.

Text:

K: hey Santa

R: hey Mrs. Claus! How’s L.A? Little warmer than the North Pole?

K: HA ha. it’s just peachy. Hey you still shopping?

R: maybe!………you know you’re not supposed to ask questions this time of year! Santa isn’t telling! Ho Ho Ho!

K: seriously dude? I’m kind of over HO HO HO.

R: You can’t possibly be more over HO HO HO than I am. Believe me.

K: yeah OK whatever dude but I think we forgot something. I can’t believe I did that. I’m so pissed I didn’t check

R: honey what’s wrong? No frowning at Christmastime!

K: Fuck. I can’t find the stockings. I thought I packed them.

R: you didn’t

K: no shit dude. That’s why I said I can’t find them

R: that’s because I did! They were with me honey. Go look in my bag.

K: you did? DUDE!! Thanks baby. Trying to get all the presents packed & all the other stuff I knew I’d forget something

R: here’s something I don’t want you to ever forget?

K: yeah, what’s that?

R: how much I love you & can’t wait to spend Christmas with my family.

R: OUR family! :)

K: me too. I’m really glad we came. Nothing like an old fashioned English Christmas - right? Listen Santa, you need to stop shopping! We brought a sleigh full of toys dude!

R: Don’t spoil this for me! I’m having fun being Santa & since
we’re here - Santa should be bringing something very English so I bought a Paddington bear.

K: awwww. I love that. It’s perfect.

R: And some blocks, a St Nicholas book & a few other things

K: Shut up!! Don’t you think Santa has gone a bit overboard??

R: Nonsense. That’s my prerogative as Santa.

K: you are such a dork but I knew you’d do this. You’re like a little kid.
I can’t wait to take pictures of everyone.

R: You & your pictures!! you’re not going to make me wear some dreadful sweater with reindeer or something are you?

K: holy shit I would love to post that on IG. SOOOO tempting

R: I love when you tempt me & you know I can’t ever resist you!
Would you do something for me Mrs. Claus?

K: As long as it doesn’t involve any Ho ho ho

R: It doesn’t. I promise

K: OK so what is it?:

R Will you meet me under the mistletoe? I have something for you

K: Oh really? Dude, mistletoe isn’t supposed to be hung where you like to hang it

R: what’s wrong with where I hang it? I thought it was perfectly placed

K: you WOULD because you have a one track mind. Look SANTA.
I don’t think dangling it over your body parts is what they had in mind

R: oh yeah? is that some kind of “mistletoe rule” that I missed?

K: haha! You don’t like to follow rules anyway so would it matter? hey. I love you Santa.

R: I love you more baby. Merry Christmas


So sweet Maya
I hope you have a fabulous New Year! I have always believed that friends are gifts you give to yourself. How very blessed I am to count you as one of mine. We have a wonderful New Year to look forward to! It’s going to be OK.