my favorite lyric from the song! ha:)

'BTS Dishes About Their US Tour, Songwriting Process, & Onstage Style'

TWIST: What are you most excited about for your return to the US?

BTS: The size of the tour got much bigger than last time we were in the US back in 2015. It’s almost 10-fold this time. 5 arena shows in 3 cities sold out in less than 5 minutes! We’re amazed by the fact fans in the USA are passionate and supportive and we’re super excited to come back to meet them all.

TWIST: What is the most exciting part of touring around the world, and what has been the most challenging so far?

BTS: The most exciting part of touring around the world is that you get the unique opportunity to meet different people from various background. Regardless of their differences, they sing BTS songs in unison and cheer for us, and it is very special experience for all of the band. On the other hand, the most challenging part has been the life on the road, being far away from our family and friends for weeks.

TWIST: Which of your songs are you most looking forward to performing on this part of the tour?

Rap Monster: “Spring Day.” I wrote the main melody for the lead single for the first time and also wrote lyrics.

SUGA: “Spring Day.” I wrote main lyrics based on my personal experience with old friends. It is about my sad memories with him and it makes me sentimental whenever I listen to the song.

Jungkook: “Not Today.” It has the coolest beat of all songs in the album and I personally like the choreography for the song.

J-Hope: “FIRE.” It has always been my favorite and the song has all the essence of BTS can show to the audience on stage.

TWIST: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten in your career?

Rap Monster: “If you’re tied up with not gaining approval from others, you’ll never be able to move forward.”

TWIST: How would you say you and your sound have evolved over the years since first forming the group?

BTS: BTS sound has evolved since our debut in 2013 but has rooted its music in western pop music and hip-hop. We try to adapt all the hottest trends in pop music scene and that’s why fans around the world like it despite the cultural differences. All members listen to different genres of music all the time, from EDM, hip-hop, R&B to hip-house… and we believe BTS is kind of creating a new category of music genre beyond K-Pop.

TWIST: Do you remember the first song you ever wrote, what it was about, and what inspired you to write it?

Rap Monster: I don’t remember the name of the song, but there was an online community of amateur rappers who gathered together. I downloaded a beat from another amateur beat maker and I wrote a song based off of that. The song didn’t really make much sense, I just wrote it using every hard word I possibly knew. I actually found the song 2 years ago on my computer and listened to it thinking “What is this?” It was a mess.

TWIST: Have you ever written a song in a strange or unusual place? Or been inspired by something totally random?

Rap Monster: So many, I think I wrote a song while I was at the Grand Canyon in 2009. I had a trip to Vegas/Grand Canyon and I think I wrote a song there because I was shocked by the scenery. I definitely don’t remember what it was about though.

TWIST: Who are some artists that you would love to collaborate with?

BTS: There are so many artists we would love to collaborate with, such as Drake, J Cole, Justin Bieber… The list goes on and on.

TWIST: Which other artists/songs are on your personal playlists?

BTS: Drake “Fake Love”, The 1975, Kehlani, Lorde.

TWIST: How would you describe your personal fashion senses?

BTS: It’s mix of gothic and Japanese street wear. My recent favorite brands are WTAPS, Neighborhood and Yoji Yamamoto.

TWIST: And how does your personal style differ from the costumes you wear onstage?

BTS: Onstage clothing for BTS is custom-made to maximize our performance while being matched with the concept of each song.

TWIST: What is it like when fans recognize you on the street/ask for photos? Is it crazy? Surreal? Overwhelming?

Rap Monster: It’s a really nice experience to have somebody who knows me, but sometimes I like to be alone and hang around the city. I think it depends on the situation. There are some situations that I want to not be noticed by others, but people easily notice me. I’ve been told that I’m too unique (my walk and my clothes) and I’m easy to recognize, and I think that’s really nice. If I’m an artist or an idol and nobody knows me that would be sad.

TWIST: Can you share a fun fact about one of your other band members that you don’t think even the most dedicated fans will know?

Rap Monster: Many people think that SUGA is like the Grandfather of the group, but he acts more like a little kid. Jimin is the opposite, he looks like a baby but inside he’s mature and like a Grandfather.

2

I lost my best friend today. I haven’t stopped crying. I collapsed to the floor at work when I heard the news. There’s so much I want to say but I’m currently very, very broken and distraught. Breathing is hard. Tears are streaming down my face that I can’t control. I got sent home from work early and passed out when I got home. I hoped that when I would wake up that it would all have been a nightmare, but here we are. I was supposed to be fulfilling my #1 item on my bucket list in ten days: meet linkin park. The first time I saw them was August 27th 2007 and it changed my life, actually. I was finally going to be able to tell them how I would not be here today if it weren’t for them. And that’s no exaggeration. They were/they are my everything. My favorite band since I was 8 years old. Chester has been my hero since I was 8 goddamn years old. My first tattoo was dedicated to them, lyrics that are from a song Chester wrote to his kids. I took guitar lessons as a kid for only a week or two, just so I could learn the chords to “Faint” and feel cool for a minute of my shy, dorky life. LP was one of the only music I was even allowed to listen to during a very critical and traumatizing time of my life. I spent roughly a thousand dollars to go see them twice and meet them within the coming weeks, and tbh, no amount of money coming back to me now will ever makeup for it. It’s not just a band, it’s not just music, they’ve been my lifeline. And Chester was the brother I never had, my mentor, he was my best friend. I can’t explain how deeply this is affecting me and I can’t imagine how it’s affecting his family and loved ones. The one thing I am happy about in this moment is that the very last time I saw Chester in person, it was August 16th, 2014. During the last song he came down and shook fans hands, took photos with everyone in the front row, etc. when he got to me I was sobbing and he gave me the biggest hug, and I didn’t know what to do, so I right in his ear I said “thank you for everything.” He put his hand on the back of my head into his shoulder and said “no, thank you.” He smiled at me, and walked off. (Picture above is moments before that happened) I may not have officially met him, and can’t believe that I never will in this life, but deep in my heart I’ll have comfort telling myself that he knows. How important he was/is to me and everyone who listened to LP, his family, friends, everyone. I don’t know how to handle this tbh and thank you to everyone who has reached out and thought of me, that means a lot. I don’t even know if any of this makes sense. All I know is, I miss you Chester. And I’ll be thinking of you every single day until I see you on the other side.

“When life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind.”

Track-By-Track Guide to 'How To Be A Human Being'

“Life Itself”
This one actually started off as a dark, slow, moody track. Quite insular. But eventually we realized there was a cheekiness to the lyrics that we hadn’t really explored, so we injected a sense of optimism into the music. The character that this track is about is a sci-fi obsessed dude who spends most of his time alone inventing strange things and writing stories about ray guns or looking for aliens on Google maps. We made him a website. But that’s what the chords and sound effects were inspired by. Old sci-fi films/series. I also got a bit obsessed with Lollywood music (music from Pakistani films), and thats where the idea for the drums came from.

“Youth”
The idea for this one came from a story someone told me once. They were telling me about their child, and something awful had happened to them. She was crying—but at the same time the memories that they had from that previous life made her so happy—so she was also smiling. That combination of emotions kind of made me feel like my heart was being ripped apart but also optimistic in a weird way. She had found a way to see happiness in this awful thing that had happened to her. That combination of emotions is what this song is getting at. Have a look at this character’s website, too.

“Season 2 Episode 3”
Everyone knows someone like the character from this song. If you don’t, then it’s you. But there are lots of references to different psychedelic cartoons in this one—sonically and lyrically—including Adventure Time. That show is crazy.

“Pork Soda”
I heard a homeless man talking to someone once and say ‘pineapples are in my head.’ In retrospect, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t actually those words, but I thought it was at the time, and it kind of stuck with me. The opening of the song is meant to sound like you’re outside on the street, and you can hear a group of people chanting this song. The drum sounds are made from old bins and trash pieces of metal I found around the studio. Kind of like those street drummers use. All that is meant to set the scene for the story.

“Mama’s Gun”
I don’t use samples very often. I only like using them if they bring something to the table, aside from just music—a context and a further depth to the actual meaning of the song. This song is mainly about mental health, and I remembered this song by The Carpenters called “Mr. Guder.” It fit the atmosphere musically, while the song “Mr. Guder” itself was about an odd character of sorts, and then on top of that, Karen Carpenter’s story added another dimension to the lyrics. if you don’t know the story, you should look it up. It’s important and very sad, and it started a general social dialogue about mental illness which is to this day still a subject matter that we avoid far too much.

“Cane Shuga”
This is the only track on the record that didn’t start with lyrics and vocal melody. It started with the beat and the heavy drums. I let the beat spin and wrote stream of consciousness lyrics through a vocoder for this one to try to capture a certain mentality you might have when you’re a bit fucked up. When you start speaking what seems like gibberish—but maybe that gibberish is actually quite revealing.

”[Premade Sandwiches]”
This is a spoken word interlude. My favorite word in the album is in this: “McFuck.” It’s something that someone’s gotten at McDonald’s. Here it is used in a sentence: “What the McFuck are you eating?”

“The Other Side Of Paradise”
This is musically my favorite track on the record, I think. The chords are quite bizarre, and there are some mad arrangement and structural things going on. And the beat was super fun to make. It’s gonna be fun live!

“Take A Slice”
This track is about someone with a lot of lust. It’s as sleazy as I’ll ever get in lyrics. But everyone has that inside them somewhere, even if it’s only a tiny bit. And it comes out from time to time. For some people, it’s out all the time.

“Poplar St”
This song is meant to open with a kind of musical/lyrical image of a place. A little guitar hook and a floating vocal line that all seems quite peaceful, but things get more and more twisted as the song goes on. The guitar starts doing weirder things, the music builds tension, and then the whole thing flips on it’s head at the end. And you find that maybe that place isn’t what you first expected it was.

“Agnes”
As soon as I started writing it, I knew it would be the album closer. This is my favorite song on the record. And the saddest song I will ever write.

anonymous asked:

Hi love! Off of MITAM, I'd say that 'Hey Angel' is the most polarizing song. People either love or hate it. It isn't about the lyrics (RIP Spaces for that reason.). What do you think makes Hey Angel different from other tracks to cause such a reaction? Do you like the song? Thanks for your opinion!

Hi!

I LOVE HEY ANGEL. 

I love MITAM, MITAM promo, how the guys looked during MITAM, everything about it. 

Hey Angel has one of my favorite phrases in all of MITAM: a beautiful noise. It could be the title of my autobiography, if my life turns out as well as that phrase. 

The thing is, I think the reason some love Hey Angel and some hate it is because of the abstract poetics of the lyrics, and the relatively slow beat of the music. Too slow for dance or exercise, too abstract to sing along to, Hey Angel fits a certain mood. I don’t think I could listen to it all the time, but it fits a certain mood.

Remember these tweets?

If we look at the dates of the tweets, we can see that the lyrics were presented in the sequence in which they appear in the song (Harry has a finicky, type-A fastidiousness– a chocolate soufflé maker’s obsessive-compulsiveness– that I appreciate and adore). The fandom sort of lost it when Harry did these tweets. I think everyone was expecting a sad, acoustic song, not the song that showed up on MITAM, which was actually a Midnight Memories stadium-type anthem with big synth and amps. 

I think the impersonal nature of the lyrics, the fact that the “Angel” isn’t a romantic interest but a hypothetical, rhetorical addressee, confuses some listeners and turns them off. 

Hey Angel was written by Julian Bunetta, Jamie Scott, John Ryan, and Ed Drewett. None of the boys wrote on the song. But I feel like Harry really liked this song. Julian had said that the final version was very different from the initial “danky little version with bad-attitude singing,” and I can’t help thinking that Louis might have manipulated the producer into the version today, with the heavy ‘90′s The Verve type sound. 

The only other thing I’ll say about Hey Angel is the absolute, kick ass bridge:

Yeah, I see you at the bar, at the edge of my bed
Backseat of my car, in the back of my head
I come alive when I hear your voice
It’s a beautiful sound, it’s a beautiful noise

So much to love here. The poetry of seeing you in all the familiar and sexually suggestive places: bar, bed, car. And then not being able to separate myself from you– you’re at the back of my head, inside my mind, in the deepest portion where all the old memories are. So far back, so deeply buried, that you’re impossible to exorcise. Your voice isn’t even made of words. It doesn’t even have to make sense. It could be a hum, a sigh, a groan, a breath. It’s a beautiful noise. It’s sublime and it’s evanescent at the same time. It’s perfection and it’s chaos. It’s an oxymoron and it’s uniquely you.

Then the harmony? Liam singing the melody, Louis hovering in an inverted triad a fourth above? It’s a sustained pedal on the V (dominant) chord, inverted so that the Liam sings the top triad note on the bottom, and Louis sings the bass note on top (in a fourth interval), then back to the I (tonic) chord, with Louis singing the same top note– only now the note is part of a completely different, tonic or home, key. Anyway, it’s great to hear Louis and Liam sing together, and to sing like this, it’s the very definition of heaven. 

Thank you for the ask!

Sea

My personal take and thoughts on ‘Strangers’ by Halsey feat. Lauren Jauregui and ‘I have questions’ by Camila Cabello


 STRANGERS

Before I comment on the actual song, I would like to point out a very significant matter on this, Halsey and Lauren did a huge thing for our bisexual community and even the whole LGBT community in general by doing this.  BI REPRESENTATION MATTERS. As a bisexual myself there is always a stigma that comes with being one, and it is not all rainbows and butterflies as some would think.

The mere fact of hearing, and seeing a creation from two openly bisexual queens singing a love song to each other on mainstream charts, warms up my cold black heart. It is the pioneer and I hope that this is the beginning of a social change, and opens the gates for further acceptance.

My two cents on the actual song, Well I have played it a hundred times, to say the least. The intro and the beat all throughout gives you the initial “80’s vibe”, a concept; it is unlike any other song on the radio of the similar nature as we speak.

Lyrically, I can never say a bad thing when it comes to Halsey’s writing process. She always does an amazing job. Rather I would say, the message of the song reflects the situation of love, wanting, pride, lust in general at present. Halsey wanted to depict the emotional aspect of loving someone, the raw and honest emotions without sugarcoating it.

My favorite lines would have to be: “To feel anything at all…You lost it.”; “I must’ve crossed a line, I must’ve lost my mind.” and the chorus of course. It is arranged in a candid and realistic conversational form, of which, most if not all could very well relate.

Both Halsey and Lauren have that special raspy voice base, Lauren has this gorgeous massiveness in her voice that perfectly complements Halsey’s soft raspy angelic tone. I would describe it as the perfect marriage of voices.

It is exceptional and special because it represents the truth, It is Lauren Jauregui and Halsey, it is resounded to them both, it echoed them, raw.



I HAVE QUESTIONS

First of all, I have to say that this is a very powerful and lovely masterpiece from Camila. I would say that this is my most favorite song she has ever written or done. Next would be ‘I only told the moon’

She has a talent for pouring and translating her soul out into a wonderful creation. The first time I have seen the music video, I was broken for her internally because it speaks to you and not many artists can make you feel that way.

The lyrics elaborate on the emotions, of a certain stage, in a love story, wherein lack of communication is apparent. It speaks of the internal struggle one has to go through after a break up. It asks questions that never were answered. It is giving everything, all of you and yet never knowing why it was not enough.

My favorite lines would have to be; “My name was safest in your mouth.. why did you have to go and spit it out?”

Sonically, I really love the incorporation of the violin throughout the song, it exceptionally matched the vulnerable emotions and the expressive voice Camila has. It is the perfect blend. Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.

-Marga-

Goodbye Nostalgia
Coda
Goodbye Nostalgia

“Goodbye Nostalgia” by Coda

Kakyoin’s character song. This is probably my favorite song from the album, the lyrics are so well written and actually made me care a lot more about Kakyoin. It shows his growth throughout the series, his relationships with the crusaders and his best character traits. It also breaks your heart haha..ha… Enough of me talking, here’s the translation:


Yesterday
It troubled me that my reality was…
…different from everyone else

Loneliness
Instead of trying to understand others
I gave up and shut myself in… until that day

The emerald’s faint glow
I ponder the reason I was allowed to keep on living

If you can see that
It means I’m no longer alone
I come out from the veil of despair, and learn the meaning of hope

Heavenly
Those loud, noisy days
They felt like spending time with an old friend

The emerald’s shining determination
No matter what lies ahead

I risk my life fighting,
And I don’t regret any of it
I swear I won’t go back to my old pathetic self

I’ll protect you, till the end
Because an important person is awaiting our return


I listen to your lame jokes
and laugh at how stupid they are
As I look at myself like this, I think this is how I’m really supposed to be…


Wait For It
Leslie Odom, Jr., Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton
Wait For It

A lot of people have asked me what my favorite song from Hamilton is and honestly this has grown to be one of them! I just love the tiny repeated melodies and lyrics, for some reason it really stands out to me. Highly recommend giving it a listen if you haven’t!!!

BTS Dishes About Their US Tour, Songwriting Process, & Onstage Style

K-Pop fans worldwide are obsessed with chart-topping musical sensation BTS – made up by Rap Monster, Jin, SUGA, V, J-Hope, Jimin, and Jungkook –  and not without great cause. The guys’ songs transcend languages, and resonate with listeners all over the world. TWIST caught up with the band during their latest tour of the United States to ask all about their experiences traveling the world, their musical influences, and what it’s like getting recognized by fans. Check out our exclusive Q&A below.

TWIST: What are you most excited about for your return to the US?

BTS: The size of the tour got much bigger than last time we were in the US back in 2015. It’s almost 10-fold this time. 5 arena shows in 3 cities sold out in less than 5 minutes! We’re amazed by the fact fans in the USA are passionate and supportive and we’re super excited to come back to meet them all.

TWIST: What is the most exciting part of touring around the world, and what has been the most challenging so far?

BTS: The most exciting part of touring around the world is that you get the unique opportunity to meet different people from various background. Regardless of their differences, they sing BTS songs in unison and cheer for us, and it is very special experience for all of the band. On the other hand, the most challenging part has been the life on the road, being far away from our family and friends for weeks.

TWIST: Which of your songs are you most looking forward to performing on this part of the tour?

Rap Monster: “Spring Day.” I wrote the main melody for the lead single for the first time and also wrote lyrics.

SUGA: “Spring Day.” I wrote main lyrics based on my personal experience with old friends. It is about my sad memories with him and it makes me sentimental whenever I listen to the song.

Jungkook: “Not Today.” It has the coolest beat of all songs in the album and I personally like the choreography for the song.

J Hope: “FIRE.” It has always been my favorite and the song has all the essence of BTS can show to the audience on stage.

TWIST: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten in your career?

Rap Monster: “If you’re tied up with not gaining approval from others, you’ll never be able to move forward.”

TWIST: How would you say you and your sound have evolved over the years since first forming the group?

BTS: BTS sound has evolved since our debut in 2013 but has rooted its music in western pop music and hip-hop. We try to adapt all the hottest trends in pop music scene and that’s why fans around the world like it despite the cultural differences. All members listen to different genres of music all the time, from EDM, hip-hop, R&B to hip-house… and we believe BTS is kind of creating a new category of music genre beyond K-Pop.

TWIST: Do you remember the first song you ever wrote, what it was about, and what inspired you to write it?

Rap Monster: I don’t remember the name of the song, but there was an online community of amateur rappers who gathered together. I downloaded a beat from another amateur beat maker and I wrote a song based off of that. The song didn’t really make much sense, I just wrote it using every hard word I possibly knew. I actually found the song 2 years ago on my computer and listened to it thinking “What is this?” It was a mess.

TWIST: Have you ever written a song in a strange or unusual place? Or been inspired by something totally random?

Rap Monster: So many, I think I wrote a song while I was at the Grand Canyon in 2009. I had a trip to Vegas/Grand Canyon and I think I wrote a song there because I was shocked by the scenery. I definitely don’t remember what it was about though.

TWIST: Who are some artists that you would love to collaborate with?

BTS: There are so many artists we would love to collaborate with, such as Drake, J Cole, Justin Bieber… The list goes on and on.

TWIST: Which other artists/songs are on your personal playlists?

BTS: Drake “Fake Love”, The 1975, Kehlani, Lorde.

TWIST: How would you describe your personal fashion senses?

BTS: It’s mix of gothic and Japanese street wear. My recent favorite brands are WTAPS, Neighborhood and Yoji Yamamoto.

TWIST: And how does your personal style differ from the costumes you wear onstage?

BTS: Onstage clothing for BTS is custom-made to maximize our performance while being matched with the concept of each song.

TWIST: What is it like when fans recognize you on the street/ask for photos? Is it crazy? Surreal? Overwhelming?

Rap Monster: It’s a really nice experience to have somebody who knows me, but sometimes I like to be alone and hang around the city. I think it depends on the situation. There are some situations that I want to not be noticed by others, but people easily notice me. I’ve been told that I’m too unique (my walk and my clothes) and I’m easy to recognize, and I think that’s really nice. If I’m an artist or an idol and nobody knows me that would be sad.

TWIST: Can you share a fun fact about one of your other band members that you don’t think even the most dedicated fans will know?

Rap Monster: Many people think that SUGA is like the Grandfather of the group, but he acts more like a little kid. Jimin is the opposite, he looks like a baby but inside he’s mature and like a Grandfather.

© Kristine Hope Kowalski @ Twist Magazine

anonymous asked:

"Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”

30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”

In which Harry’s your ex and you think you’re over him.


“Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”

You look to your left and find Harry, one hand holding a glass, other hand tucked into the pockets of a suit. You don’t doubt it’s expensive, but you’re surprised to see it’s a solid color. His hair has grown since the last time you saw him and his face has thinned, sharpening the line of his jaw. There’s a bit of stubble spotting his upper lip and chin. He was never very good at growing it out.

“Sure,” you ascent with a quick skip of your heart, giving him a soft nod. He lowers himself into the chair beside you and sets his glass on the table, eyes roaming the room.

The place is decorated extravagantly, lights lining a full dance floor. It’s Niall’s birthday party, and apparently more people have showed than he expected. It’s true: every other table is full, and the extra people are either occupying the dance floor or hovering around the sides of the room.

“Yeh look nice,” Harry compliments, wiping his palms down the thighs of his pants.

“Thanks.”

“Yeh always look nice, though.”

A small smile finds its way onto your lips. He’s his ever-charming self. It’s been a long time since you’ve heard him speak and his voice still warms your insides.

Harry is your ex. The relationship was short, only a few months, but it was fast and happy and full of passion. You felt like you could map out his soul by the end of it. Things don’t always work out, though. The breakup was messy. It’s been nearly a year since that last fight you had, the one that brought everything to a halt. And now here he is, looking devilishly handsome and exuding confidence.

“You don’t look too bad, yourself. Solid colors suit you.”

He chuckles, leaning back in his chair and spreading his legs. He looks relaxed, and you’re surprised to find you feel comfortable, like you never left his flat in a flurry of tears. Like you never screamed at him until your throat felt like sandpaper and he never spit nasty words at you. This is just like before everything collapsed.

“Don’ like the pa'erns, then?”

“Some of them, not all.”

“Ouch.” He flashes you that dimpled grin, the one that makes his eyes crinkle and your knees weaken. It’s all so simple, the way the two of you fit together. Conversation flows without effort, but there’s a reason you split up.

“It’s not like you’ll take my thoughts into consideration, anyway.”

Harry’s smile slowly fades from his face as he turns back to look out on the dance floor. Niall has had a few too many drinks and he’s making a fool of himself in front of a new girl he’s seeing. You can recall times when Harry was just a bit too tipsy, screaming lyrics to his favorite songs and dancing a little too enthusiastically. Memories like that used to make you feel like your insides were being shredded, but now it makes you choke down a giggle. You’ve healed.

“Listen, Y/N-”

He doesn’t get to continue as a presence appears at your shoulder. You turn your head to smile and then turn back to Harry.

“Harry, this is my boyfriend, Jack. Jack, this is Harry.”

Harry just stares up at him for a moment before rising from his seat to shake his hand.

“Hullo.”

“You’re Harry?” Jack asks, giving his hand a firm shake. “Y/N’s talked a lot about you. Plays your music all the time, too.”

You smile bashfully, twisting your fingers together in your lap. Harry glances down at you with interested eyes.

“Tha’ right?”

“Yeah. You’re album’s amazing, man.”

“Thank you,” he says with a heavy nod at Jack. “Better get goin’.” Harry leans down in front of you and presses a kiss to your cheek that makes your skin tingle. It’s a bit too long before he pulls away and lifts his glass from the table.

“Cheers.” He raises his glass at the two of you and then drains the contents, setting the empty glass back down and shoving his hands back into his pockets as he walks away. His heart is heavy. On one hand, he’s glad to see you happy. On the other hand, it’s torturous to know you’re not still as broken as he is. It’s unfair.

You watch Harry as he weaves his way through the room toward the exit. Jack sits down beside you and presses a gentle kiss to your temple.

“He’s a quiet guy,” he comments.

“Yeah, sometimes.”

Your cheek still feels the pressure of his lips and your hand burns from where his fingers brushed your skin. His cologne lingers in the air around you. You feel a pang in your chest. Maybe you’re not as healed as you thought. There’s a brief moment where you think you might give it all up, everything you’ve done or accomplished in the past year, just to be back with him. To feel his arms around you at night, to be the one that makes his eyes dance with humor at your stupid jokes, to smooth out the crease between his brows when he’s stressed. But that chapter is over.

anonymous asked:

i'm lost why are you bitter rn

Originally posted by nvmjin

Because today is #HeartsforJinDay but it’s also army selca / selfie day due to unfortunate circumstance.

Jin and Jin stans are systematically victims of “unfortunate circumstance”.

Which idk just digs up feelings about Jin getting hardly any lines, not being able to go to college graduation, practically nonexistent lines in Come Back Home, being left out of the header for the music video’s channel. It was also around the same time that the interview in the concept book was translated, and essentially Jin said that BigHit told him his vocal “color” didn’t match BTS’ songs. Jin internalized that. It’s just really fucking sad. In addition, when news came out that’s he from a well-to-do family, a lot of fans split over it. He got a lot of “new” fans because it fits their “son of a CEO” fantasy while others think he’s a spoiled rich kid. He isn’t.

Originally posted by swevenmalum

I mean, Awake is essentially, lyrically about his own insecurities over his position in the group and also how important BTS is to him. And that, song, my favorite fucking song on the album, is so underrated. Hi short film trailer only has 3m views. I’m just.

CRYING. 

BITTER.

Jin always talks about how much he loves ARMY and is always trying to do fun, sweet things to make us happy and he’s just walked all over or claimed to be only the “visual”- his voice is so incredibly beautiful.

But. No. He always tries to make people laugh and do his best to improve and take care of his little brothers in Bangtan. Always smiles. Always kind. Always loving.

Originally posted by mellonjin

Originally posted by cinnaminsuga-kookie

It breaks my fucking heart, tbh.

@rosyabomination suggested The Bird and the Worm for Scarecrow and i’M GONNA MARRY THIS IDEA HOLY MOTHER I’M IN LOVE. Now let me explain to you my interpretation of this song and the character:

So one of my favorite videogame sagas is the Arkham ones, and in the first one, Arkham Asylum, Scarecrow his brutally attacked by Killer Croc on the sewers but he survives with his face disfigured and has multiple injuries. The song is one of my favorites of all time and when i thought of the lyrics my mind immediately imagined Jonathan getting out of those sewers all bloody and on pain, crawling away from Croc. 

Thank you so much for this song suggestion! 

Don’t repost anywhere, support by reblogging.
 

MISIA Chosen to Sing Theme Song for Film FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST! New Song “Kimi no Soba ni Iru yo” (I’m By Your Side) Written Specifically for Film!

MISIA’s new song, “Kimi no Soba ni Iru yo” has been chosen as the theme song for the film Fullmetal Alchemist! Up until now, MISIA has sang theme songs for many works such as Ultra Galaxy Legend and Mobile Suit Gundam, and although the 20th anniversary since her debut is close at hand, this movie’s theme song commemorates what will become her 40th single, which will be released on Wednesday, November 29th.

MISIA has been a big fan of the manga Fullmetal Alchemist since a long time ago and when the live action movie came around, she transmuted (took inspiration for) a song from the movie’s world along with the story of both Ed and Al’s brotherly bond, writing a new song specifically for the movie.

MISIA commented with joy, “It was my favorite manga from the start so when I was asked [to perform the theme song], I was surprised and happy! In the lyrics, which are the feelings that I took from the brothers Ed—played by Ryosuke Yamada—and Alphonse, I transmuted a melody and music arrangement of endless hope with my singing, and the result was the movie theme song, "Kimi no Soba ni Iru yo.”

Director Fumihiko Sori also delivered a comment on the theme song, giving a great response [at the thought of] having a new friend joining him in the brothers Ed and Al’s extraordinary adventure, “The theme song brilliantly expresses the world of FMA and, along with the movie, creates and enhances the sense of unity between them. When I heard that MISIA was also a big fan of the manga, I was convinced that this resonance was the real thing.”


MISIA’s Profile

A Nagasaki Prefecture native. Proudly capable of producing a five-octave range from that small body, she possesses an overwhelming skill as a singer and is called the ‘Queen of Soul,’ [MISIA] is one of the most influential female singers in Japan.

Because her 1998 debut song, “Tsutsumikomu You ni…” attained a strong influence in Japan’s music scene, she was called a Japanese R&B pioneer. Her first album announced afterwards, “Mother Brother Father Sister” even as a newcomer, sold an unprecedented 3,000,000 copies, setting a record. Since then, with songs like “Everything,” “Aitakute Ima,” and others, she didn’t stick to just the R&B genre, but also established herself as the queen of ballads. That real ability was recognized outside of Japan, not only in Asia, but the world. 

Now in the 19th year since her debut, annually, her curious heart, which challenges music, proves that it knows no bounds, as she announces a variety of works around the world. As she welcomes the 20th anniversary of her debut next year, even more anticipation grows. Aside from her music work, she also pushes philanthropic activities that contribute to society, like at the 5th Tokyo International Conference on African Development (TICAD V) where she was an honorary ambassador, and other similar successive jobs.


source: hagaren-movie tumblr

anonymous asked:

Best to worst at karaoke in the Batfam + Clark?

Best: Probably Dick. He’s 500% into it and has a pretty nice voice. When he was little he sang show tunes all the time during patrol and it drove Bruce nuts. Sings anything for karaoke. Anything.

Second best: Bruce. Secretly has a really nice voice. You’ll never hear it though, because singing gives him PTSD flashbacks to that one time the Joker took a Karaoke bar hostage.

Third best: Stephanie. She used to sing in high school and was pretty good. Sometimes she breaks out into opera or some song from Les Mis and everyone is shocked. Sings exclusively Bonnie Tyler and Stevie Nicks songs.

Fourth best: Alfred. Was a stunning actor in his day and a decent singer. Has enough pizazz to sell “Putting on the Ritz” or anything from “Chess” the musical. Will dance along without being asked.

Fifth best: Cass. Has a very sweet voice. Sometimes messes up the lyrics. Sings “My Favorite Things” on repeat.

Sixth best: Jason. Hates singing but has a nice enough voice. Would probably be pretty good with some voice training but never got around to it. Sings ACDC songs and occasionally something from Eric Clapton.

Seventh best: Tim. Sings random screamo songs and songs in other languages. No one is really sure if he can sing or not. Talks about decibel levels and how the microphones aren’t “picking up” his frequency.

Eighth best: Clark. He tries his best. He really does. Is absolutely tone deaf. Sometimes Bruce takes pity on him and cuts the mic. Sings songs like “Blue Moon” and “Country Roads”. Loves anything by Tom Petty.

Worst: Damian. Does not understand the concept of karaoke. Refuses to participate. When Dick forces him onstage to sing something from Lion King, he just stares at the audience until they’re uncomfortable.

In This Moment: Ritual Track-By-Track Album Review [With Pictures]

“Shame says that because I am flawed, I am unacceptable. Grace says that though I am flawed, I am cherished.” - Abigail Williams: The Crucible, Arthur Miller

SALVATION

All begin to gather around a huge bonfire in the dead of night, decked out to the nines in appropriate attire for the onset of a demonic religious ceremony. Witch drums build to an overpowering bone-chilling crescendo as chants bellow in the background, and you know what is about to take place. Here we have an introductory track which is very stereotypically In This Moment. They firmly believe in taking people on a journey, and it is why they always go to great pains to create a story within the music with each album. This album is no exception as they once again begin the album with a track that crescendos and builds tension and generates excitement for what is to come. The ritual begins here.

OH LORD

The concept of good and evil is explored heavily on this album, and here is where that story begins. The crux of this song is someone exploring the depths of their own psyche, fighting an internal battle with their dark and light sides. And, in a way, this person feels ashamed of being flawed, feeling as if they must be purified in some way to rid themselves of this shame. It asks the all-brooding question, “Am I Lilith or am I Eve?” which, in my opinion, is the heart of the song and is the question that is explored throughout the entire track. Who am I really? Am I the good person that I know myself to be, or am I really as evil as others think I am?

BLACK WEDDING

It’s a nice night for a black wedding. A priest and a nun come together in the wee hours of the night to confess their sins to one another. There is indiscretion afoot on both sides of the booth. This song mirrors that of a Catholic confessional, given its back and forth style of vocalizing with the one and only Rob Halford of Judas Priest. This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, simply because of the imagery attached to it. From my perspective, it’s about the whole concept of star-crossed lovers; people who initially could have been good for each other, but ultimately were destined to be ripped apart. With its whimsical piano introduction and poppy chorus, it is destined to be single material at some point. The vocal interstitial at the end of the song of the recited bible verse really fits in well with the theme of the album and helps stitch together the theme with ease.

IN THE AIR TONIGHT

I can feel it coming in the air tonight. The light voices on the wind signal what is about to happen. Here we have a very haunting and melancholic rendition of Phil Collin’s classic song, “In The Air Tonight”, which was inspired by his own wife’s infidelity and discussed events which ultimately lead to their divorce. Their rendition gives it a much more witchy vibe, foreshadowing things which have yet to take place. It injects you with this uneasy feeling that something could happen at any moment, but at the same time knowing that it was meant to happen all along. How do you take a song that’s already perfect and make it even more so? You can’t. You just have to use it to tell your own story, and I truly believe that is what they’ve done with their version.

JOAN OF ARC

The exploration of good vs evil is put center stage in this track from the get-go, with the first line being a line sampled from the 1999 film, The Messenger: The Story Of Joan of Arc. It asks the question, “Who are you to even think you can know the difference between good and evil?” Maria set out to use Joan of Arc as a metaphor for her own crucible, in which she suffers at the hands of the masses for not living up to their expectations. But she has come to terms with who she is and does not find fault in others, instead allowing them to burn her at the stake for their crimes, thus making herself a martyr for her own cause. She’s saying, go ahead and set me on fire if it makes you feel better, but it changes nothing. This one is another one of my favorites.

RIVER OF FIRE

I wanna feel you strike me down with lightning. Here we continue on with the theme explored in Joan of Arc of allowing yourself to be crucified, only here it is done in a way which is much more direct. There is a ritualistic back beat that pounds throughout the entire track, giving you the feeling that you are now in the midst of the ritual you came to experience. This song says, I want you to give me everything you got, all of your hate; pour it down on me like rain from the sky because I want to feel all of it. Let it rain, bring on a hurricane and baptize me in a river of fire because I want to drown in your wrath and fury.

WITCHING HOUR

This is the witching hour. Three witches gather around a bubbling cauldron in the middle of a dark wood. This song’s origin no doubt resides in Maria’s trip to Salem, the site of the Salem Witch Trials. It puts this story on display right from the beginning, sampling a sound byte which speaks on that very thing: “Superstition and fear drove them all to accuse their friends and family of consorting with the devil.” This song also explores her own real-life crucible of persecution even further, with her no doubt feeling vilified by those around her for the things she thinks and believes and the way she expresses herself. Even given its dark nature, this is easily one of the poppiest songs on the album in regards to production value. It utilizes a mesmerizing trap beat that casts its own spell on you throughout the entire track. This song is voodoo in the purest sense of the word and is my favorite song on the album.

TWIN FLAMES

Crawl into these flames with me. This is one of the most insanely beautiful songs on the entire album and it is one of my top favorites. This song steps away from the good and evil exploration for a quiet moment with your soulmate within the flames of the bonfire. The idea of twin flames is a very esoteric concept. The idea is that people share one-half of each other’s souls. They are pieces of one soul split into two, thus the appropriate lyric, “One flame bursting into two”, which more or less signifies the separation of these two soul halves and these people going their separate ways. The idea is explored in much of the star-crossed fashion of Black Wedding. It has this harpsichord chord progression that pulls you inside the fire’s incandescent glow.

HALF GOD HALF DEVIL

Without the darkness, there’d be no light in me. This song represents the full integration of dark and light. Maria has come to terms with everything that has happened to her, both the good and the bad and embracing all of it. It’s this knowledge of self and experience that frees her from the negative perceptions of those outside her. It also answers the question posed in Oh Lord. Am I good or am I bad? It’s both. And you cannot hope to achieve full enlightenment until you learn to bring both sides together. This is another one of my favorites because this is the moment where I can feel that she is finally comfortable in her own skin and is letting the world know that you cannot have the good without the bad.

NO ME IMPORTA

The simple truth is that I just don’t give a fuck; I don’t care. This is the continuation of that strong self-knowledge. In a way, it feels as though it’s about people who criticize her from the comfort of their keyboards, analyzing her every thought, word and move in an effort to try to “fix” her. It’s about knowing that you’re messed up, about knowing that these flaws are simply just part of who you are and there is no problem at all. There’s an undeniably catchy chord progression in this song that will leave you hooked. There are lots of starts and stops and words that just kind of run into one another. I have to admit I didn’t know what to think of this song at first because I didn’t really understand what was going on lyrically, but now that I know and get what it’s about, I’m happy to say it’s another one of my favorites.

ROOTS

There’s this sick part of me thankful for the hate. This song is the apex of the album’s theme. Part of it is learning how to transmute hatred. When you know who you are and you are grounded in your own self-belief, the words of others begin to lose effect. Where do your roots start and where do your roots end? How well do you know yourself? Do you let the perceptions of others get to you or do you use them to your own benefit? In a way, it represents our connection to ourselves and to source. It says thank you for all of the hate because it has only made me stronger. It shows that without the bad, I would not be who I am today. Because she really does need it to help strengthen her own personal resolve and evolve as a human being.

LAY YOUR GUN DOWN

Won’t you lay your gun down? This song explores the album’s underlying theme one final time, in an attempt to lay her own gun down. In an intimately flawed final moment, Maria acknowledges her own flaws and lays them bare for the world to see. All these twisted little parts of her are what make her who she is. And in coming to terms with this, she reaches her own level of self-actualization. Pull the trigger and fire away because she’s made of scar tissue. Everything that has happened to her has made her indestructible. In This Moment are known for their low-key endings, and this song mirrors that of songs like Out Of Hell from Black Widow and 11:11 from Blood. You can really feel the emotion in the last few seconds of the album and feeling a sense of gratitude for what you have just experienced. The ritual has now come to an end.

Lin-Manuel Miranda Explains How His Puerto Rico Benefit Song “Almost Like Praying” Came Together

Click here to read Lin’s annotated lyrics.

Highlights:

On getting everyone together:

I began by reaching out to the people I know and I have been lucky enough to work with. I knew Gilberto Santa Rosa, I knew Ruben Blades, I knew Jennifer Lopez, I knew Marc Anthony a little bit. I never worked with Marc but I had his number. And I knew Ednita Nazario and Rita Moreno of course. And then I went on Twitter and worked friends of friends for the people I didn’t know. I caused a minor uproar when I tweeted Camila Cabello directly, and all her fans freaked out because they’re awesome and that’s what they do. I reached out to Pedro Capo and Tommy Torres via DM on Twitter. Rita Moreno got me Gloria Estefan, she called her directly mid-session.

There were a couple of people I reached out to that were just so busy with relief efforts that were just so busy with relief efforts that they weren’t able to participate in our very tight timeline, like Ricky Martin and Daddy Yankee, they had been literally flying to and from Puerto Rico in chartered planes. So we just couldn’t get them in the studio but they were very supportive.

We reached out the artists and just said, “Where are you?” And we worked out a schedule. So we flew to L.A. for a day and Miami for two days, and got almost everybody that way.

On the inspiration for naming the towns:

I was like every other Puerto Rican who has family on the island. We had a terrible few days of silence where we just didn’t hear from anyone there. So our Facebook feeds and our Twitter feeds became this roll call of towns. It became, “Has anyone heard from Lares? Has anyone heard from Vega Alta? as anyone seen my Uncle in Hatillo?’"So I thought, “Well listen. I can get all 78 towns in there, that’s something we can all unite behind as a lyric.” No matter who you are or where you come from, when you meet another Puerto Rican, you ask where you’re from. And what you mean is, “What town on the island? what part of the island?”

One of my favorite bits of feedback about the song has been, “I can’t believe J-Lo sang my town. I can’t believe Juan Luis Guerra sang my town.” There’s a lovely tradition of roll call songs. Marc Anthony and Gente De Zona had a great one with “La Gozadera” where they call out lots of different countries. But we’ve never done it as specific as the actual towns in Puerto Rico, so it’s sort of a more granular version of the tradition of shouting out all the different countries which is a great thing in pop music that happens all the time. I wanted to elevate that into an artform.

On the Maria sample:

I knew the word Maria was forever going to have a different connotation on the island, and so I began thinking of “Maria” from West Side Story and whether there was any lyric in there that I could flip and change its meaning to make something positive. I sort of fixated on the phrase “Almost like praying” because we always sends thoughts and prayers in the wake of a tragedy, but they’re not enough. Puerto Rico doesn’t just need thoughts and prayers, it needs supplies, and food, and water, and troops.

“Maria” has this very positive connotation in West Side Story, and the song is about the name. The song is about how that name is musical, and everything the name evokes, and this is flipping that back on its head again and evoking the notion of music playing and praying, which are two things that we will forever associate with the people of Puerto Rico.

I’ve been lucky enough to call Stephen Sondheim a mentor and a friend since 2009 when I worked on the Spanish translations of the last Broadway revival of West Side Story. So to his credit and to the credit of the children of Leonard Bernstein who run the Bernstein estate, the first call I made was to them to get permission to do this and to make sure the royalties from this would all go to hurricane relief. To their incredible credit, they said yes immediately. That’s one of the things I was uniquely able to do because I work in the musical theatre space and can count Stephen Sondheim as a peer.

☾Taeyeon Songs & The Moon Signs☽

These songs were all chosen from her newest album, “My Voice.” For me, this album is the perfect representation of the aftermath of a relationship. A lot of the tracks are bittersweet recollections of memories with her past lover, but there’s a few where you can really see that she is healing, slowly but surely. I would also like to note that these lyrics are translated from Korean, so they may sound a bit “off” if that makes sense; however, I feel like the main ideas of the song choices are still present anyway. Please don’t let the fact that the songs aren’t in English deter you from listening to this masterpiece. Taeyeon has one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard and everyone deserves to hear her sing. Hope you guys enjoy one of my favorite albums ever! 

Originally posted by girls-generation

Aries Moon: “Fire”

You’re the fire

I’m pulled by your warmth

You spread inside of me when I open my eyes

Only traces of ash remain

Oh you’re the fire

Oh I know you’re the fire.

Taurus Moon: “When I Was Young”

When I, when I was young

Back then, when I was you and you were me

When I, when I was a fool

When I didn’t know anyone but only you

How was it? Was it alright?

Gemini Moon: “Feel So Fine”

I’ve only dreamed of myself like this

I still can’t believe it

The spilling sunlight, the passing wind

Just realize I feel so fine.

Cancer Moon: “Sweet Love”

Crying for love, if we can grow as deep

As the amount of tears we shed

We would swim in a blue ocean

And be each other’s lights

As we leave in each other’s warm embrace

I’m in love.

Leo Moon: “Cover Up”

Boy I can’t cover up my heart

When I see you, laughter seeps out

Without knowing, you come into me

My feelings are growing, boy I can’t cover up.

Virgo Moon: “Lonely Nights”

I wanna go someplace unfamiliar

And create a world without any trace of you

Unfamiliar streets, people, that’s okay

I live so busily but then I see you again

Every time, it shakes me up

Some things never change

I know that you’re not here.

Libra Moon: “Eraser”

An eraser that will completely erase you

I need it to forget you

An eraser that will wash me clean

So I won’t want you again

A racer toward her goal

In this heart, chaser, I’ll become brand new.

Scorpio Moon: “I Got Love”

Tell me, want you baby, want you baby

It’s like a universe inside of you

Need you closer, if I fall in

I flutter in the restless sighs too

As if drunk, I’m lost in a dream, in you

Can you believe me?

Sagittarius Moon: “I’m OK”

At one time,

I believed we would be together

But now I’m sending those days off to the wind

Far away

It’s alright, now I’ll find my own way

I wanna follow my dream

I’m okay, okay.

Capricorn Moon: “Time Lapse”

Still when I think of your name

I get tears in my eyes and if I close my eyes for a moment

I see you and even when everything is changing

You are the only constant in the same spot

You keep making me cry looking the same way you did as always.

Aquarius Moon: “Fine”

Between the meaningless jokes, back-and-forth conversations

And all the people, I look like I’m fine

I pretend to be numb and I try to smile

I try to turn around from your shadow but

I keep thinking about our last moment.

Pisces Moon: “Love In Color”

With a clear color, you seeped into me

A love light

Filled up our times together

When we colored each other

The love that was clear in my heart

The color is fading

I’m walking in the darkness alone.

-Admin L

From her ( @babyshawwn )favorite lyrics right now. Sorry if this is just too plain, but this lyrics itself has deep meaning rather than putting some elements.

oimatchstickman  asked:

top 5 phineas and ferb songs

1. “When We Didn’t Get Along”

Right out of the gate, we get this hilarious but heartfelt ballad, with lyrics like but now you’re doing battle with a panda from Seattle and you captured me and held me for so long. ‘Twas the beginning of the end for me. The vocals are also absolutely lovely.

2. “Summer Belongs to You”

I maintain that “Summer Belongs to You” is the best special, perfect in every way, and the finale is amazing. It’s so joyful and uplifting and it makes my heart soar every time I hear it. I also like that it’s a full-length song, which they don’t always have time for. Candace’s solo is EVERYTHING.

3. “My Cruisin’ Sweet Ride”

I get this song in my head every time. The doo-wop genre just fits so perfectly with this show’s vibe, and I can’t believe it took them this long to do a ‘50s-themed episode, WHAT WERE THEY WAITING FOR. Excellent use of Ferb’s bass range and my car has a turret that goes BOOM BA BA BOOM BA BANG A BANG BANG.

4. “Ain’t Got Rhythm”

THE FUNK. One of the first things I saw from the show, and it’s unrivaled.

5. “Weaponry”

This is my favorite song lyrically; it’s so damn clever and a great tribute to stuff like Gilbert & Sullivan or Noel Coward. If you want to make them fall on bended knee at your command, bow their heads and swear that you’re the leader of the land. The fact that it’s Norm trying to impress Doof just [tries not to cry]

Andi Mack music related headcanons

Andi

  • Loves music with the ukulele
  • Moving on by paramore is one of her favorites
  • Loves happy music
  • Send me on my way by Rusted Root is another one I think she would love
  • Always has music playing while doing crafts
  • Bobs her head along with music a lot
  • Likes to doodle song lyrics on notebooks and stuff
  • Sways
  • Quiet music is her fav
  • Doesn’t like sad songs
  • Supports other people’s taste in music

Buffy

  • Dramatic music, like stuff from movie soundtracks
  • Who’s side are you on by Ruelle is her favorite from that category
  • Definitely a musical theatre person (I headcanon that she does lights/sound crew for the drama club)
  • Heathers is probably her favorite musical, favorite song being Dead Girl Walking (reprise)
  • Lots of dancing around and singing along dramatically
  • Prom Queen by Molly Kate Kestner
  • Great Voice and she knows it but just doesn’t really like to perform
  • Has dance parties with Cyrus and Andi constantly

Cyrus

  • Loves indie music
  • The Mountain Goats and The 1975
  • Chocolate is his favorite
  • Had an emo phase and still listens to fall out boy
  • Save rock n roll is both his favorite song and album by them
  • Marina and the diamonds
  • Loves Mowgli’s road by Matd
  • Always has earbuds in
  • Music is either to soft to hear or so loud it will kill your ears, no inbetween
  • Can’t stand headphones only earbuds which he fights with Buffy over because she owns like seven pairs of headphones and has at least two sets with her at all times

Jonah

  • Mouths along with the words very dramatically
  • Loves catchy songs
  • Shape of you by Ed Sheeran
  • Or any Ed Sheeran song really
  • Loves girl power anthems or any anthem type songs
  • Secretly listens to Little Mix constantly
  • Dances around a lot because I think he does dance for some reason
  • Constantly in motion while listening to music
  • Mouths along with the words very dramatically
youtube

GUEST POST: Jessie Lynn McMains on “She”

When Dookie hit the airwaves and my twelve-year-old ears, it was everything I’d ever wanted. It was everything I’d needed without knowing I needed it. I was a tortured tween-ager, a nerd grrrl, a late bloomer in some ways and in other ways growing up too fast. That was the year I realized I wasn’t straight, the year I first battled depression, and the year a group of boys began to dog my steps. They hissed insults at me when the teachers couldn’t hear: geekfreakslutdykeprudewannabenerd. But I heard Dookie and I felt like Green Day got it. I felt like, well, I felt like that album was for me. It didn’t matter that everyone loved that album, it belonged to me—and to all the other freaky slutty geeky kids, the other misunderstood outcasts. It became a talisman, a shield. I carried my Walkman with me everywhere, and my cassette tape copy of Dookie was almost always inside it. I listened to it as I walked the halls between classes (if I turned the volume up loud enough I couldn’t hear what those boys were saying). I listened to it on the bus trip home from school, while riding my bike down to the lake, while sitting on my garage roof and scribbling in my journal. That album said everything. All the songs said everything, but most especially, I’m talking about “She.”

It starts out with a bouncy bass line (to me, Mike Dirnt’s bass work has always been one of the best things about Green Day), drums, Billie’s voice. Then the guitar comes chugging in and it makes you wanna fucking pogo. As for the lyrics…the lyrics are what take it from a hop-up-and-down jam to a fucking anthem. They include two of my favorite traits about Green Day’s songwriting—their capacity to write about girls in nuanced, interesting, non-objectifying ways, and their ability to describe mental illness so succinctly you feel like they read your diary. When I first heard the line She screams in silence / a sullen riot penetrating through her mind, it was like oh, oof, that’s it. I was always screaming inside but no one heard me, and a sullen riot was exactly what my burgeoning mental illness felt like. Not to mention Are you locked up in a world that’s been planned out for you? Yes, and yes, and yes—I didn’t wanna be like everybody else, I knew I wasn’t like everybody else, but the world was still trying to mold me into who it thought I should be.

“She” came back to me again at nineteen. Not that it had ever really gone away, but at nineteen I needed it again like I had at twelve. At eighteen, I’d left home to attend a Prestigious University. I ended up having a Breakdown which involved never going to class and instead drinking/drugging and wandering the streets of Chicago alone at night. After that, I returned to my parents’ house in Wisconsin, to stay until I moved back to Chicago in the fall. There I was, nineteen years old. Summertime, my last teenage summer, and I had no idea what to do. About anything. That was the summer I first rapid-cycled between mania and depression, the summer I dated three people at once, the summer I never slept. I was always driving to different towns to visit my paramours and friends, or just to sit at diners and coffeeshops writing writing writing. I’d go to sleep at three a.m. only to get up at seven so I could be at work by nine. One of the only things that eased my mood swings was riding my bike, so I did that a lot, too. On one of those bike rides I listened to Dookie for the first time in a while, and there “She” was. Are you locked up in a world that’s been planned out for you? Oh, fuck. See, my parents were still disappointed in me for leaving the PU. I was going to be starting art school in the fall and they saw that as a step down, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go to college at all right then. I was fucking crazy and my parents did not understand/accept that. Then there were my boys and my girl—they all knew about each other, but they weren’t all gung-ho about the arrangement, and I knew that most people outside the situation thought it was weird. And I was getting heavy into anarchism, activism, wheatpaste and graffiti and dumpster diving and Fucking Shit Up (real good). I had all these doubts about myself and my desires, was torn between staying true to my identity and what I wanted from life and being the Good Girl the world wanted me to be.

And one beautiful lakebreeze summer day, as I pedaled so hard and fast my lungs and legs burned, Billie Joe Armstrong and that old favorite song once again gave me what I needed.  She / she’s figured out / all her doubts were someone else’s point of view.


Jessie Lynn McMains is a writer, small press owner, and the 2015-2017 Poet Laureate of Racine, Wisconsin. Recent and forthcoming publications include 10 Poems By Jessie Lynn McMains, an e-chapbook released by Hello America, and What We Talk About When We Talk About Punk, a memoir-in-fragments revolving around punk and her misspent youth, coming from Pioneers Press/Punch Drunk Press later in 2017. She is also a long-time zinester—she published her first zine the year Dookie was released.