A Lovely Way to Starve - Chapter One: The Proposal
Title: A Lovely Way to Starve Author: spngbb (or emily on AO3) Pairing: Squidward/SpongeBob (squidbob) Overall Rating: Explicit Chapter Rating: Teen/Mature (adult language, adult concepts, drug & alcohol references) Chapter Word Count: 9,968 words
Summary: It’s summertime in Bikini Bottom and Squidward’s got nothing but bad breakup memories and his illustrious job as a cashier, so he might as well slum it with SpongeBob for eight whole weeks and take their indie band on tour. Meet Mermaid Brigade, nobody’s favorite band! It’s the “Hello Bikini Bottom!” AU literally no one asked for!
A/N: Hi! This is my first squidbob creation, even though I’ve liked the ship since, like, 2009. I hope you like travel stories with a lot of sex, lmao. I’m so nervous about contributing to this cute fandom, I’ve put off posting for so long. Haha, I feel so shy, it’s making me sick, ahhh. Chapter thanks and dedication to @shirohibiki, for being so supportive, and @nikonet-san, whose name, along with shirohibiki, I used this chapter! Go see 8D!
Poverty itself is [romanticized] only by fools
A Lovely Way to Starve
Chapter One: The Proposal
Friday, June 26, 2015
On the road, SpongeBob writes in his small black notebook. He has his shoes off, legs pulled up, bag in the footwell. He travels light—the only things in his giant duffel are his neatly bundled outfits, small bags of toiletries, a shell phone, and a phone card that’s snapped in half. And he’s got that notebook and his favorite pen, the one he lifted on his last visit to the hospital. I’m anticipating picking up a lot on our adventure, he had told Squidward when getting into the boat. He has a grape colored bruise on his bare knee, souvenir from some other adventure back home.
This is first piece of fanfic I have ever written. For once I wanted to contribute to fandom culture instead of merely being a consumer of it.
This is just a brief Barbara-centric one-shot based on a World War I AU that my sister @hello-tarpon and I have been trying to write for a while now. When we finally get more actually written we’ll post it on our fanfiction.net page.
In the meantime, happy Oracle Week everyone!
Barbara was startled out of her focus by a knock on the door. She had been pouring over her maps of the French-Belgium border, trying to decide her next plan of action.
“Come in,” she called.
Private Duncan opened the door and stood at attention.
“General Wayne requests your presence in his office, Major Gordon, ma’am.”
“Thank you, Duncan. I’ll be there momentarily.” Barbara pushed herself away from her desk and started wheeling toward the door. It had taken quite a bit of effort to get a functional wheelchair that she could propel herself and that didn’t need to be pushed by someone else. Luckily, she had good connections, and General Bruce Wayne had had the chair built to her specifications. After losing the use of her legs in a shelling, everyone had assumed she would retire back to England. Barbara, on the other hand, was determined not to let her paralysis keep her from her job.
Barbara had always had a knack for mechanics, especially in the emerging field of electronics. Bruce was familiar with her skill due to being old friends with her father, Chief Inspector Jim Gordon. When the Great War broke out, Bruce asked her to come to the front with him to be his personal radio operator. That role had swiftly evolved, and in little time she had become Bruce’s spymaster.
Coming upon Bruce’s open door, she knocked on the doorframe and entered. Bruce looked up from his desk and motioned for her to close the door behind her. He was one of the only people who knew about Barbara’s true role in intelligence gathering. Most thought she was just in charge of radio operations, doubling as General Wayne’s secretary. It was a fiction she was more than happy to encourage; the fewer people who knew the truth the better.
“Barbara. I need to know; what recent information do we have on German supply lines?”
“It’s not looking good for them. According to my operatives they’re running low on resources. Their civilian population is suffering the effects, and morale is low. Though looking at the broader picture, we’re not faring much better ourselves.”
Bruce sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“I know. If this war doesn’t end soon, both sides are going to lose.”
“So let’s focus on ending it. Here, hand me that map.”
They spent the next few hours going over where the known German supply lines were, and their options for sabotaging or cutting them off.
Neither of them had been in favor of Britain joining the war in the first place, but that didn’t change the fact that it had come all the same. General Wayne was far too familiar with the tactics of his fellow generals and their disregard for the lives of the soldiers under their command. Bruce had joined the war effort to try and be a voice of reason, to try and keep casualties to a minimum. Barbara had joined him because she believed that he could. That, and she wanted this damn war to be over as soon as possible.
After coming up with the beginnings of a plan Barbara went back to her tiny office. She had a lot of work ahead of her to put this operation in motion. Calls to make, maps to chart, messages to send… people to endanger. God, she hated this war. Hated waiting on the sidelines while other people put their lives at risk for the sake of a petty squabble between nations. Her motivations had long since shifted from winning the war to ending it. At this point, no one was going home the victor. Everyone had lost too much, herself included.
She took a deep breath to steady herself. Focusing on her losses wouldn’t help anybody. She could think about that later, after everyone she cared about was home and safe. For right now, she had a job to do.
Hello! It’s your not so local yoonmin stan sugainmycoffee sugainmystocking. I recently it’s been weeks reached 5kalmost onto 6k welp followers and my god that such an unbelievable and amazing feat for a blogger who doesn’t write or draw or contribute much to the fandom aside from shit posting o_o. I wish I could thank each and everyone of you personally but that would take forever so as a way to show my gratitude I’m finally doing a follow forever! should have done this 2k ago but yeah :’)
Since this is a sideblog it would be hard to track mutuals and tbh I dont wanna pick out favourites bc you all run great blogs and make my dash a happier place THUS none of that highlight/underline stuff. Everyone is equally loved in this list <3
I’m gonna limit this to my bangtan/kpop related follows bc that’s all this sideblog pertains to.