Thranduil goes to the undying lands before legolas right so he’s just chilling, maybe lying in a hammock or smth by the sea in the bay of eldamar, happily content that he’s finally found a place without those accused dwarves, when he sees legolas’s ship on the horizon
And at first he’s pleased ofc that his son’s finally made it the the undying lands
I was going thru my first Tumblr archive and came across this old picture of me and the dude I was with at the time. I was so goofy. lol. He wasn’t out so we never took pictures like that but this was one of the few times we did and I posted it on my first blog. That face i’m making is HIDEOUS tho.
Maya’s Facial Expressions: 1x20 - Girl Meets First Date
Did somebody order a large plate of conjecture and fanon?
Okay, let’s dive into this thing. In spite of all the Rucas, this is one of my favorite Rilaya episodes. The best of it starts here. (Starting off a post about Maya’s face with a picture of Riley’s…I know…but it seemed appropriate.)
“Well, if he doesn’t want want to go out with you, do you not want me to go out with him?”
Firstly, I headcanon that by this point, Riley has started to suspect that Maya’s feelings for her might not be strictly platonic. I believe this is her giving Maya a chance to say what’s on her mind, but Maya continues to keep her deepest feelings closely guarded. She’s convinced that she will never get the happy ending she wants; she may even be convinced that she doesn’t deserve it.
When asked “do you not want me to go out with him?” this is how Maya responds.
First with this sad expression.
Then she smiles and sighs through her nose.
Please forgive the low quality of the following gif (I haven’t exactly mastered how to make a gif without screwing up the colors,) but I wanted to really illustrate how Maya’s whole body changes as she smiles here. This is not just an exhale, but a deep and thoughtful sigh.
She does not answer the question. That can be interpreted in a few different ways, but she does not directly answer “do you not want me to go out with him?” She goes on to shut her eyes.
And then she beckons, “Come here.”
All of this body language and avoidance seems to speak pretty clearly. The answer to the question is, “No, I do not want you to go out with him.” Maybe that’s just for reasons of platonic Rilaya. Maybe that’s for reasons of Lucaya. Or maybe (as I believe) it’s because Maya has romantic feelings for Riley. Whatever the reason, it seems obvious that Maya does not, in her heart of hearts, want Riley to go out with Lucas.
Coming at it from angles of Lucaya or Rilaya, this begs the question: If she wants to be with one of them, why is she pushing them toward each other? The conflicting factor is that she does want Riley to be happy. She knows that these two want to be together and she’s willing not only to step out of the way, but to help them give it a try. And I headcanon that Maya does not expect that Riley will ever return her feelings. Maya believes she’s in love with a straight girl, not a girl who just hasn’t realized she likes girls. Maya believes that what she wants can never happen and so she focuses on being the best friend she can possibly be.
“Life is changing, isn’t it?”
“But this never will.”
Maya’s talking to herself as much as she is to Riley in this moment. She’s adamant that she will be a good friend to Riley, even though she wishes they could be more. She knows that her world needs Riley in it and she believes friendship is the only way that can happen.
And so she’s prepared to sacrifice her own happiness because she believes this is what will make Riley happiest.
And then her commitment to the cause is put to the test.
The stand-offish body language here says a lot. This isn’t some simple “the lady doth protest too much.” This is cold, hard rejection. Maya knows that there’s nothing to be gained by going out with Farkle. She believes that this experience will not edify her in any way.
And then the sarcastic smirk. And yet something in her eyes is off. Her resolve is faltering now, replaced with bravado. She still wants to do what she thinks will make Riley happy, but it’s getting difficult.
“I mean it, Maya.”
And Maya knows Riley will be disappointed if this falls through now. She looks to Riley with the saddest face.
And she looks at what she’ll be accomplishing.
And Riley’s smiling. And that’s what Maya wants. More than anything she wants for herself, she wants to see Riley smile like that.
But go back to that face. Even though she believes Riley will never feel the same way, even though she has always guarded herself against expectations because she fears disappointment, this is still hard for her.
This is what giving Riley up looks like.
This is a deep emotional reaction she’s having. If all of that emotion is just from the prospect of going on a date with Farkle, then I should be even angrier with Cory than I already am. This girl is holding back tears over here, but she’s determined to suck it up and sacrifice her own happiness. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
There’s one thing that Maya can hang on to that will get her through this. Just the slightest glimmer of hope that if she plays the long game, maybe someday Josh will come around.
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
Maya reigns it in quickly though. This is no more than what she expects from the universe. Lock it up in the dungeon of sadness and keep soldiering on.
“You know what the best thing is about going out with Farkle?” “What?”
“No matter what happens - I won’t get hurt.”
Because she has literally zero expectations. There’s nothing that could possibly disappoint her, no nebulous hopes for a future, no letting go of what she wants. Just show up, give it 84%, and go home afterwards.
Now let’s move on to the end of the night. Riley reminisces on the evening. Notice that Riley’s expression hardly changes. Meanwhile Maya goes through a whole range of emotions. I’ll begin with my interpretation of Maya’s inner monologue.
Riley had a magical night, thanks in large part to Maya. Now Maya feels like she needs to release any hope she may have left…hope she didn’t even know she was holding on to. She’s realizing just how much this is going to hurt. Seeing Riley find happiness with someone else.
First there’s this expression.
She’s clearly not enjoying the conversation.
This look could be interpreted as bitterness or jealousy. Perhaps she’s simply disappointed because Riley’s happy while she’s miserable. Riley got Lucas. Maya did not get Josh. Perhaps it’s simply lingering Joshaya feelings.
She can’t look at Riley right now.
She’s experiencing deep emotional conflict over something. Could still be Joshua Matthews and the Dungeon of Sadness though. Or you could even interpret it through a Lucaya lens just as easily as a Rilaya one. (A lot of Maya’s reactions and body language can be interpreted in support of either ship.)
This is fighting tears.
Not just an eyeroll, but looking up at the ceiling and trying to make the welling moisture in your eyes go back where it came from.
And then this is the look that kills.
It’s nearly identical to her earlier expression.
This is what giving Riley up looks like. The sad droop in the brow, the frown, the look of grim acceptance and despondence in the eyes. She’s deeply moved by what’s happening. Whichever lens you apply to it, there’s no denying that she’s visibly upset here while she’s watching Riley smile.
If it’s platonic Rilaya, she’s sad because she thinks this new relationship means she and Riley will start to drift apart as friends. This was a recurring theme among Cory, Topanga, and Shawn in Boy Meets World.
If it’s Joshaya, she’s sad because she wants to have the kind of happiness that Riley has. (Another carryover from Shawn Hunter; his desire to be like Cory and Topanga had a strong impact on his relationship with Angela.)
If it’s Lucaya, she’s sad because she can’t pursue Lucas without hurting Riley.
If it’s romantic Rilaya, she’s sad because she’s watching the woman she’s in love with fall for somebody else. And even though she’s committed herself to prioritizing Riley’s happiness, it’s not going to be easy to watch this happen.
While there are multiple viewpoints that could rationalize any of Maya’s facial expressions, I believe that romantic Rilaya is the one best-suited to justify all of them.
The episode closes on a Rilaya/Corpanga parallel. Maya says one word. A question.
And her voice sounds strained as she says it. Again, she’s definitely fighting tears over something.
And the smirk again. Bravado, but even less than before. Her eyes are still masking sadness and disappointment. Putting on the act is taking its toll.
But there is still some comfort. At least she still has her closest friend.
It doesn’t matter what life has waiting for her around the corner. In this moment, she is content. In this moment, the world is just the two of them. It calls back to the first time the two of them took this pose. This isn’t the first, the second, or even the third time that they’ve shared this embrace. But something’s different this time.
“I wish the world was just me and you.” “Then it is.”
“Well, I guess we’re back to where popular’s gonna be kinda hard, huh?” “I wouldn’t know. And let’s not try so hard to find out.”
“Life is changing isn’t it?” “Yes. But this never will.”
“Scared?” “No. I got you.”
Previously, it’s been Riley’s head on Maya’s shoulder. Riley taking comfort in Maya. This time they’re inverted. Maya is drained from the night’s events. She doesn’t have anything more to give right now. But Riley is full of comfort tonight. Maya relaxes into the embrace and tries not to worry about any challenges the future may hold.
Ok so I was just gonna do a couple selfies like I did last year or a comparison pic, but I decided why not do a timeline so.
1: I was around 2 or 3 in this picture. So like 2000-2002. It’s really tho only age I feel fine showing pictures of so we’ll jump right to me being 17 now lol.
2: This was the first (good) picture I took after o cut my hair. It basically was mid back length and cutting it was sooo amazing. Around this time is also when I came out to my parents and brother. January 2015.
3: First time I actually bought boys clothes after coming out, besides unisex band shirts and shit. But like actual clothes like jeans and shoes and dress shirts was all around this time. January 31, 2015.
4: First picture after finally getting a binder. Obviously a v good and important day. March 26th, 2015.
5: This one was actually taking basically exactly one year ago. So that’s cool. Oh also I realised today that it was p much a year ago that I had finally decided on my name. March 30th, 2015.
6: After I graduated high school, and then I didn’t have to be closeted 90% of the time around students and teachers. It was really great for me to not have to hear my dead name every day. Also this is a few weeks after I had starting dating my datemate so that’s awesome cause they’re really supportive and helpful and great. June 9th, 2015.
7: Nothing really important happened here but I didn’t want an awkward time gap. I had dyed my hair tho so that’s cool I guess. October 3rd, 2015.
8. And me now! Right now I’m gonna be trying to change my name in a couple months, I’ve been coming out to more random people and extended family members, and I plan to be on hormones by next year so hopefully that’ll work out. I start college soon too so that’ll be something life related.
But yeah obviously so much has changed in a year and especially a year and a half like shit I didn’t even know I was trans till November of 2014. So all trans people out there who aren’t out or who are feeling hopeless about shit rn, you don’t know how much stuff can change in just a few short months and how people around you will grow or who you’ll meet.
Also I have a gofundme account set up to raise money for changing my name and saving for hormones and surgeries. It’s here gofundme.com/j3mxz76c thanks! I hope everyone’s having a good Transgender Day of Visibility,
The Leafy fandom cracks me up like its ok to say “FUCK MY PUSSY SO HARD IT BLEEDS AND THEN USE MY BLOOD AS LUBE TO FUCK MY ASSHOLE” and make him extremely uncomfortable, but its not ok to say his last name is Vail? Like ok buddy chum pal friendo dude buddy pal you need to learn whats inappropriate and whats not buddy man. Its wrong that it was leaked in the first place, sure. It was wrong for Pyrocynicals face to be revealed too, but that doesn’t stop people from using pictures of him (some that were still personal) to make edits. Don’t shame people for writing smut about Calvin or using his last name. People on instagram are leaking his skype, address, and other personal shit, and most of you don’t even bat an eye. Its his last name, not like we’re knocking on his door in the middle of the night to get a picture with him.
TL;DR: Let people do their thing and post what they want about Calvin, unless it is seriously disrespectful or a genuine invasion of privacy.