my entire family has this mindset and so do many of my friends

Korrasami is canon.

You can celebrate it, embrace it, accept it, get over it, or whatever you feel the need to do, but there is no denying it. That is the official story. We received some wonderful press in the wake of the series finale at the end of last week, and just about every piece I read got it right: Korra and Asami fell in love. Were they friends? Yes, and they still are, but they also grew to have romantic feelings for each other.

Was Korrasami “endgame,” meaning, did we plan it from the start of the series? No, but nothing other than Korra’s spiritual arc was. Asami was a duplicitous spy when Mike and I first conceived her character. Then we liked her too much so we reworked the story to keep her in the dark regarding her father’s villainous activities. Varrick and Zhu Li weren’t originally planned to end up as a couple either, but that’s where we took the story/where the story took us. That’s how writing works the vast majority of the time. You give these characters life and then they tell you what they want to do.

I have bragging rights as the first Korrasami shipper (I win!). As we wrote Book 1, before the audience had ever laid eyes on Korra and Asami, it was an idea I would kick around the writers’ room. At first we didn’t give it much weight, not because we think same-sex relationships are a joke, but because we never assumed it was something we would ever get away with depicting on an animated show for a kids network in this day and age, or at least in 2010.

Makorra was only “endgame” as far as the end of Book 1. Once we got into Book 2 we knew we were going to have them break up, and we never planned on getting them back together. Sorry, friends. I like Mako too, and I am sure he will be just fine in the romance department. He grew up and learned about himself through his relationships with Asami and Korra, and he’s a better person for it, and he’ll be a better partner for whomever he ends up with.

Once Mako and Korra were through, we focused on developing Korra and Asami’s relationship. Originally, it was primarily intended to be a strong friendship. Frankly, we wanted to set most of the romance business aside for the last two seasons. Personally, at that point I didn’t want Korra to have to end up with someone at the end of series. We obviously did it in Avatar, but even that felt a bit forced to me. I’m usually rolling my eyes when that happens in virtually every action film, “Here we go again…” It was probably around that time that I came across this quote from Hayao Miyazaki:

“I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.”

I agree with him wholeheartedly, especially since the majority of the examples in media portray a female character that is little more than a trophy to be won by the male lead for his derring-do. So Mako and Korra break the typical pattern and end up respecting, admiring, and inspiring each other. That is a resolution I am proud of.

However, I think there needs to be a counterpart to Miyazaki’s sentiment: Just because two characters of the same sex appear in the same story, it should not preclude the possibility of a romance between them. No, not everyone is queer, but the other side of that coin is that not everyone is straight. The more Korra and Asami’s relationship progressed, the more the idea of a romance between them organically blossomed for us. However, we still operated under this notion, another “unwritten rule,” that we would not be allowed to depict that in our show. So we alluded to it throughout the second half of the series, working in the idea that their trajectory could be heading towards a romance.

But as we got close to finishing the finale, the thought struck me: How do I know we can’t openly depict that? No one ever explicitly said so. It was just another assumption based on a paradigm that marginalizes non-heterosexual people. If we want to see that paradigm evolve, we need to take a stand against it. And I didn’t want to look back in 20 years and think, “Man, we could have fought harder for that.” Mike and I talked it over and decided it was important to be unambiguous about the intended relationship.

We approached the network and while they were supportive there was a limit to how far we could go with it, as just about every article I read accurately deduced. It was originally written in the script over a year ago that Korra and Asami held hands as they walked into the spirit portal. We went back and forth on it in the storyboards, but later in the retake process I staged a revision where they turned towards each other, clasping both hands in a reverential manner, in a direct reference to Varrick and Zhu Li’s nuptial pose from a few minutes prior. We asked Jeremy Zuckerman to make the music tender and romantic, and he fulfilled the assignment with a sublime score. I think the entire last two-minute sequence with Korra and Asami turned out beautiful, and again, it is a resolution of which I am very proud. I love how their relationship arc took its time, through kindness and caring. If it seems out of the blue to you, I think a second viewing of the last two seasons would show that perhaps you were looking at it only through a hetero lens.

Was it a slam-dunk victory for queer representation? I think it falls short of that, but hopefully it is a somewhat significant inching forward. It has been encouraging how well the media and the bulk of the fans have embraced it. Sadly and unsurprisingly, there are also plenty of people who have lashed out with homophobic vitriol and nonsense. It has been my experience that by and large this kind of mindset is a result of a lack of exposure to people whose lives and struggles are different from one’s own, and due to a deficiency in empathy––the latter being a key theme in Book 4. (Despite what you might have heard, bisexual people are real!) I have held plenty of stupid notions throughout my life that were planted there in any number of ways, or even grown out of my own ignorance and flawed personality. Yet through getting to know people from all walks of life, listening to the stories of their experiences, and employing some empathy to try to imagine what it might be like to walk in their shoes, I have been able to shed many hurtful mindsets. I still have a long way to go, and I still have a lot to learn. It is a humbling process and hard work, but nothing on the scale of what anyone who has been marginalized has experienced. It is a worthwhile, lifelong endeavor to try to understand where people are coming from.

There is the inevitable reaction, “Mike and Bryan just caved in to the fans.” Well, which fans? There were plenty of Makorra shippers out there, so if we had gone back on our decision and gotten those characters back together, would that have meant we caved in to those fans instead? Either direction we went, there would inevitably be a faction that was elated and another that was devastated. Trust me, I remember Kataang vs. Zutara. But one of those directions is going to be the one that feels right to us, and Mike and I have always made both Avatar and Korra for us, first and foremost. We are lucky that so many other people around the world connect with these series as well. Tahno playing trombone––now that was us caving in to the fans!

But this particular decision wasn’t only done for us. We did it for all our queer friends, family, and colleagues. It is long overdue that our media (including children’s media) stops treating non-heterosexual people as nonexistent, or as something merely to be mocked. I’m only sorry it took us so long to have this kind of representation in one of our stories.

I’ll wrap this up with some incredible words that Mike and I received in a message from a former Korra crew member. He is a deeply religious person who devotes much of his time and energy not only to his faith, but also to helping young people. He and I may have starkly different belief systems, but it is heartwarming and encouraging that on this issue we are aligned in a positive, progressive direction:

“I’ve read enough reviews to get a sense of how it affected people. One very well-written article in Vanity Fair called it subversive (in a good way, of course)… I would say a better word might be “healing.” I think your finale was healing for a lot of people who feel outside or on the fringes, or that their love and their journey is somehow less real or valuable than someone else’s… That it’s somehow less valid. I know quite a few people in that position, who have a lifetime of that on their shoulders, and in one episode of television you both relieved and validated them. That’s healing in my book.”

Love,

Bryan

“Cry Followup”, or “See A Doctor! The Musical”

I got sad. A doctor recommended that I go off my anxiety meds because they might be interfering with a bunch of other health issues. I did. It wasn’t good.

I tapered off for months and dealt with the withdrawal symptoms. When they were gone, I felt ok for a few weeks. Then I was easily irritated and sometimes angry. Then weird feelings started to creep in. I guess it was just dread. Maybe it was weird to just be feeling anything after being numbed on meds for so long. I started crying watching movies sometimes or thinking about whatever the fuck. I started getting really sad. Eventually I would cry everyday, sometimes for multiple sessions. It’s strange to think back on that now that I’m safely numbed to fuck again.

My grandfather had died about 8 months earlier and I thought I had emotionally exhausted that, but now it was back and I dwelt on it constantly. I thought of dying with an urgency that I couldn’t distract myself from. I thought of everyone I knew dying. It felt like time was an illusion and it wouldn’t be long until I’m standing beside their open coffins, reflecting on how quickly time had passed and now they’re gone and I’d wasted time not spending more time with them.

Most days I’d just wake up and lie there for hours. I’d try to look at things on my phone to try to distract myself. Snapchat was fun for that. Christ, so was Miitomo. I wouldn’t get any work done. It was difficult to focus and overcome the feeling in my gut of being pulled down and the constant present terror feelings of death and knowing this whole experience will be gone some day, but before that, I’ll watch everyone I know leave too. For a long time, I don’t think I really connected that it was my absence of meds that was doing this to me. I thought maybe it was just circumstances and some kind of Holmes-Rahe scale thing where a bunch of life events happening at once were stacking and compounding my depression feelings. There was no way to win against it and this kind of thing encourages you to not to the things that will typically pull you out of a depression. It makes you want to seclude yourself more and work on further diminishing your self-worth mentally. Instead of seeing friends or doing activities you enjoy, you convince yourself that you’re a burden to them, they don’t really want to see you anyway, and that something bad is going to happen if you go out and do anything. For so many fucking days I just laid there. That makes your depression even worse; your lack of productivity frustrates you and makes you hate yourself. All that wasted time boils your living asshole. It’s a paralysis and you don’t know why you can’t break out of it. You can’t just go into the other room and sit at your computer and do your work. Brains are incredible. Just a bit of absence from a certain chemical changes everything. Of course, you tell yourself things like this, that it’s not really you and that it’s just a biological ineptitude temporarily and that everything will be fine soon enough, but that doesn’t help at all.

That’s the other thing: you don’t feel like this will ever end. This is who you are now. A fucking shrivelled terrified cryhole. I did feel terror quite a few times during all this. It usually gets you when you wake up or try to go to sleep. Everything is still and You are going to fucking die someday, sooner than you think and You have wasted every moment of your life so far blast in your mind and your heart pounds, you can barely breathe, and you might even suddenly groan as panic waves hit your brain in an instant. There’s a terror in knowing there’s no relief from this; that all of these things are true and for some reason you believed the illusion your whole life and weren’t always in the perfect terror about it that you are now. Still, you beg for that trick to come back, to be able to put this mindset away and believe in the stupid shit we tell ourselves just to keep existing in some kind of calm. All these thoughts keep assaulting you with some kind of biological urgency, like you need to figure this problem out immediately or you die. This is what being on chemicals to help your brain for years and then suddenly going off them is like. Your body doesn’t know what the fuck. It’s weird to not give a shit about any of this and then suddenly imperatively have to give a shit about it and be unable to escape it. Even now when I’m in the clear, I still feel its background noise. Maybe I always will from now on. This whole thing has been a Paul on the road to Damascus type ordeal.

I fucking cried watching the new X-Files episodes, my dude. Probably during each one. That’s what it was fucking like. Imagine being in your late ass twenties and something in the X-Files makes you cry because you think of a squandered opportunity, or what you should or shouldn’t have done as a kid, or wishing you had put more effort into certain relationships with family or friends. It just finds anything to grab onto and get you with. You just have a dragging feeling constantly present and looking for things to attach to and convince you you’re sad about. Frankly, it’s fucking annoying. I cried one time because a nintendo phone app was enthusiastic about sharing my character’s picture with others. Just the fact that someone would have an interest in who I am and treat me like a normal person and want to share something about me with other terrible avatars made me cry as I was playing this thing and trying to take a shit. It made me think about my own self-worth and how long I thought there was no reason anyone should give a fuck. Cripe, one time I was almost screaming crying about my best friend who died when we were 11. It was like a fresh wound again and I was lying facedown on my bed wailing like an asshole. Depression can fuck with you.

So, this got pretty bad and I decided I had to see my GP about it. This can become a battle in itself, because past a certain point, you are convinced you aren’t worth the effort and that you’re a burden to have to deal with, and someone else could use that time to see the doctor instead. It gives you any reason to turn yourself down. I cried right away talking to my doctor. All this is really weird to reflect on; I was an entirely different person then. It was like a frantic sadness, an inability to just hold your shit together for even a few minutes. The impending terror was really pressing; a constant urgent anxiety that something bad is going to happen really soon, or that I’m about to get a call that someone I know just died. The doctor recommended seeing a therapist and going back on meds. Now I remember that the reason I finally did something was because my neighbour’s son killed himself. Fuck, that really bothered me. Hearing about any death at all was bad enough, but I think that week I was reading about Edgar Allan Poe’s death and then Vincent Van Gogh’s, and I just got really fixated on vividly imagining their final moments. I think there were others, too. See? Just a stupid thing to waste your time on but in the moment, you think this will help for some reason. Maybe the gravity of that kind of thing hooks you and you can’t help but look into it. So when my neighbour’s son also committed suicide, that was a pretty strong blow. I hadn’t even talked to the guy in over ten years, but I couldn’t help but fixate on having seen his father maybe 3 days prior as he joked in my mom’s backyard and borrowed a ladder. Now his life was ruined and the son he struggled to try to get mental help his whole life had killed himself. He was only 37 and he had a son. I think I spent a few days of weeping out my stupid ass over this, then made the decision to see my doctor.

I started seeing my therapist and cried within 6 minutes of entering his office. I wish I went to see a talk doctor when I was recommended it as a teenager. It’s good shit. Beyond that, I started seeing my friends again. Before this, I think 2 years had passed between us spending time together. I had talked myself into feeling like they were better off without me anyway and had their own real friends and lives that I didn’t have anything to do with. I started to exercise and even just take walks around the block. Sometimes, if I was just lying awake staring at the ceiling, I’d get up and go for a run. I started being able to work on videos again and looked forward to it. Thinking back on it now, I realize I kept streaming during the whole time. That would become the only thing I’d do or look forward to for most of this stretch. SO THANKS IF YOU LOOKED AT MY TERRIBLE STREAMS DURING THIS ERA I WAS QUITE WOUNDED AND I’M HOPEFUL THAT I WASN’T TREMENDOUSLY OBVIOUS ABOUT THIS, YOU HELPED KEEP ME STABLE WATCHING ME PLAY WITH CHILDREN’S TOYS. Beyond this, I’d just sleep until the afternoon and try to find a way to kill time until the streams started. This is why there were even less videos than usual. I was sad.

So, these things helped pull me out of the shit. A lot of it is self-examination and discovering why you feel this way in the first place. I’ve talked to my therapist about whether or not this whole thing was because of being on meds for so long and then going off them and feeling a withdrawal, or if that’s who I am underneath the medication.  He said that it is probably both, but more that that’s who I am. Fuck. He categorized this as a major depressive episode. It was weird to just hear the words. That is the kind of thing that happens to people in their mid-30s in office jobs who are getting shit on by everything in their lives. I guess it can also make you feel like a diva asshole; that you feel you’re so important that you had to have this major crisis about yourself. Writing this makes me realize how stupid it is to think like this, but that’s the kind of trap you get put into. Anyway, let me emphasize how important it is to see a therapist if you are depressed. Do it. It can change everything. Also talk to a doctor and see if meds are part of your solution. See a doctor. Do not just let it go. This is like if you had cancer and you just wanted to wait it out or hoped it would get better on its own. A lot of people let it go until it’s overwhelming and consumes them completely and just kill themselves to end the pain. Don’t!

I got better. I went on meds and in just a few weeks I made a drastic improvement. Plus the therapy, and plus feeling like I was doing anything with my life again. I hear a lot about hesitation to go on meds because you feel like they may change the foundation of who you ever are. This doesn’t happen. For me, it made me feel more free to be who I felt like I really was. That said, it may numb your emotions if you are a person who typically feels a lot of things. Just talk to a doctor about any concerns you have and don’t let these build up and become reasons you don’t get help for yourself. You are worth it. The doctor isn’t angry to have to deal with you. If it will cost what you can’t afford, don’t let that become an excuse not to do it. Save up or find a way to make it work. Again, it’s like if you couldn’t afford cancer treatments so you just let it kill you instead of finding out how you can make the situation work financially. What you’re dealing with is serious! Do something about it!

I almost forgot to mention that a lot of getting better was having something to look forward to. Knowing I’d see my friends and we’d have a good time was part of it. Another was spending all of my fucking money to go to as many conventions as I could. They were something I enjoyed in the past but didn’t bother with much anymore, so I decided to get back into them. It was the best choice. Thanks for coming to drink a lot of beers and talk shit if I saw you at a PAX or TwitchCon or Magfest! They were sincerely some of the best times of my life. Knowing that it wouldn’t be long until I’d be at another convention helped a lot with otherwise feeling complete dread. The power of giving yourself something great to look forward to is really strong! Do it! Find things you like and make time for them. Reward yourself! At one point, I got into a really unbalanced lifestyle and would spend maybe 60 or 70 hours a week editing videos and I burned myself out to shit. All I would think about was the job and let my health and relationships go to shit. You’re not supposed to do that. Give yourself good things and make it a habit. Anyway, PAX East soon, my man.

When I wrote my last crypost, a lot of people responded it it. I was in a daze for the rest of that day as I heard from a mountain of individuals. A lot of you deal with issues like this and a lot of you feel hopeless about it. It’s fucked up! This is your life! You’re entitled to a good one! Doing something about it will take a lot less than you may think, and will help you in a lot more ways and probably faster than you may think. A lot of you also said since that you’ve decided to finally get help. So yeah motherfucker I had a cool cry about your messages several times. What was also helpful was anonymous tumblr questions saying they got help so others could see your experiences and know I’m not just yelling out my dick about this. Thanks! You helped people!

Ok I think I have to cut this short now, it got late and I try not to stay awake until fucking 7 AM these days. I feel like I missed a few of the main points I wanted to make but by now I think you get the point that you can feel like you are going to face total annihilation within the next few moments and still get back to normal in very little time. I almost just wrote “Hopefully talking about my own cringe-ass experience helped you with…” and so forth to end this on a light-hearted self-shitting, but that again is part of the problem. Feeling as if your issues are embarrassing, not worthy, juvenile, or to be written off as not serious is no good. I know we joke about this kind of thing to help deal with it, but don’t feel that way for real. AGAIN, YOU’RE WORTH IT. YOU’RE GOOD! YOU’RE WORTH DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FEEL NOT FUCKED UP! GO! 


Go!

anonymous asked:

your wrong about Killian. he's going to be an awesome deputy alongside his true love Emma. he killed Merlin ages ago and he was the dark one so it wasn't him. he was in the navy so he's probably more qualified than anyone else. you don't know what your talking about.

Ooh! Looks like I touched a nerve.

So, first off, I have studied the police for the better part of 11 years. I have a BS and an MS in Criminal Justice, I’ve almost completed a PhD with a focus on Justice, and almost all of my real-life friends are police officers or law enforcement in some form or another (many in leadership positions, including one Chief of Police). So you might want to reconsider accusing me of not knowing what I’m talking about regarding police practices.

Moving on, H00k having been “in the navy” has no bearings on his qualifications for law enforcement in the modern world. Not to mention… HE MUTINIED AND BECAME A PIRATE. He’s also been a pirate for a significant portion of his life, likely overriding any influence his brief military service had on him.

Ignoring those facts, prior military service is not necessarily a good thing for potential law enforcement officers, especially in a small town. Military service can espouse skills and mindsets unsuitable to law enforcement duties that can be difficult to overcome without significant training.

A majority of police duties, ESPECIALLY in a small town like Storybrooke (excluding magical nonsense), will be service-related. Police duties are dominated by service in general, but even more so in low population towns. They’ll spend most of their day interacting with civilians and assisting with minor, non-serious problems. For more serious issues, they’ll need to be able to proceed calmly and de-escalate any violence verbally or with the least force necessary to do so. Can you honestly see H00k walking around town most of each day (alone, more than likely), talking with civilians, answering questions, and assisting with minor problems?

And then Merlin. The Dark Ones have never shown to be completely out of control of their actions unless under the influence of the dagger. Emma, in the same scene and ALSO a Dark One, is trying to talk him out of it. Emma did some highly questionable things while a Dark One (particularly regarding Violet/Henry), but she remained protective of her family and others. Rumple, for all of his many flaws, remained protective of his family. H00k tried to kill the entire family of the woman he supposedly loves and repeatedly put her down verbally.

Even if you ignore all of his crimes as a Dark One, he still has a laundry list of recent ones when he was not influenced by the darkness. In what world does any of this make him qualified and psychologically suitable for law enforcement?

And has he been trained? And I’m not talking about riding around with Emma, because he shouldn’t see the inside of a police vehicle (or the Bug masquerading as a police vehicle) until he’s completed training. Has he been instructed about proper police procedure? Weapon training? Physical and psychological evaluation? The man is oftentimes seen drinking rum to excess. Is he going to go to rehab? Would you like police officers in your area to be drinking rum most of the day when tasked with protecting you?

I’d be happy to discuss this more off-anon. I have several folders with likely hundreds of research articles saved on my PC at this point that I can use to show you just how ridiculous and dangerous a man like H00k being a law enforcement officer is.

The Four Relationships that shaped Fushimi Saruhiko

Or, the three times Fushimi Saruhiko had to deal with geniuses and the one time he didn’t

What sounds like the subtitle to some random fanfiction is actually my triumphant (har har) return to the K fandom after who knows how many years.

People who know me will be aware that I cannot re-enter a fandom without analysing the shit out of everything and this will mark my first character study thing in this fandom.

A study of parallels, foils and compliments. Fushimi Niki, Oogai Aya, Munakata Reisi and Yata Misaki.

So first off, a small thing I noticed about Niki, Aya and Munakata. They’re all three geniuses and trolls, but all three of them use these traits in different ways and affect Saruhiko differently throughout his life. They all challenge him and they all troll him, but they all have different motives and motivations.

There’s also a keyword I’ll bring up a lot: Challenge.

For that, I have a small scale that I like to call the Jerkass Scale. We’ll start with the top of that Scale, where the most Jerkassery happens.

In other words, we’ll start with Fushimi Niki.

Niki is Saruhiko’s father, an almost unparalleled genius, handsome and well aware of it, and a malicious troll. He torments his son for no other reason than to see him react, uses his genius as an excuse to waste away in his unhealthy lifestyle, neglects his child until he needs a solid laugh and is overall just a really crappy person. Saruhiko was terrified of him and his whims and thus it comes as no surprise that the only thing I regret about his death is that Munakata didn’t stab him in the face.

Niki challenged Saruhiko in a way that marked him for life. He didn’t only challenge him intellectually but mostly emotionally. Through fear.

Good riddance, jerkface.

Second on the Scale, in Misguided Neutral Territory, is Oogai Aya

Aya, like an apparently very big chunk of her and Saruhiko’s family, is a straight-up genius with zero social skills. As one of two kids in her age group, she tries to get Saruhiko’s attention by challenging him in harmless though no doubt annoying ways that do the exact opposite of making Saruhiko look at her. He doesn’t care about her challenges or her desire to prove herself. It’s boring and all something he’s seen before, stuff he already knows.

When she realises this the apparently inherited troll breaks out in one of the nastiest ways possible. By reviving Fushimi Niki.

Despite this Aya is not a bad person, she’s misguided and desperate. A sweet girl who grew up in the same family that created Niki, a dysfunctional heap of brilliant minds and no parenting skills.

She fits neatly between the absolutely disgusting individual who was Niki and the only part of this troika who did everything right.

Munakata Reisi, a Genius among Kings

Just like Niki and Aya, Munakata is a genius. Contrary to them he doesn’t only use his genius to benefit himself. Instead of spending his entire time being a lazy prick or trying to make an impression the completely wrong way, he uses his considerable intelligence for the good of the people, to uphold order and peace.

He too challenges Saruhiko on an intellectual level, through the puzzle during their first one-on-one for example, but does so in a way that allows Saruhiko to meet him on neutral ground. The puzzle has no meaning other than seeing and understanding the extent of genius on both sides.

Munakata understands Saruhiko is on a different level than him but instead of being condescending he allows Saruhiko to use his own head to solve his problems. Munakata uses his genius to help Saruhiko in subtle ways. “You might have caught a cold.” A virus. “I’ll give you a tip but you’ll have to do the rest, as I know you can.” It’s the groundwork for a relationship built on complete trust and understanding.

He makes an effort to understand Saruhiko as a person and not as a potential asset to his Clan. And he doesn’t stop making an effort once Saruhiko is part of his Clan.

Saruhiko is caught in a mindset that things aren’t made to last and that you will always lose what you care about. Munakata challenges that mindset by refusing to let Saruhiko believe it. At one point Saruhiko builds a sandcastle and then stomps it flat because it’s better if he does it than to wait for the tide. Munakata responds by drawing the blueprint of Scepter 4 headquarters with his powers. “We’ll build the best sandcastle ever and I will use my powers so that nothing can ever tear it down.” Because even if he’s subtle, Munakata is never subtle.

But Munakata is a troll too, only different. He teases Saruhiko relentlessly and does so with an almost childish glee but never in a way that would make Saruhiko uncomfortable. And Munakata genuinely enjoys it when his favourite trolls him back.

No, Captain, it’s not a ninja.

The Irregularity, Yata Misaki

Fushimi Saruhiko grew up around geniuses and people who only needed him when they wanted something from him.

Until Misaki came along.

Straightforward, enthusiastic, childish kinda stupid. Yata Misaki met Saruhiko in a time of need and with no thought or goal rushed in to save him. And that describes Misaki perfectly.

Misaki saw Saruhiko was a genius and that he was alone and wanted to befriend him. Not to use him, not to be seen by him, he didn’t want anything.

He just thought Fushimi Saruhiko was awesome. He just wanted to make him smile.

Yata Misaki never looked before he leapt, he just did what he thought was right. Save a stranger from bullies? Done. Befriend him because why not? Of course. Move in with a friend to get him away from his abusive home? Absolutely. Ask anything in return? No.

Misaki and Saruhiko couldn’t have been any more different but they had one thing in common. They were social rejects, people with no place in society. So they found their place in each other. And they would have done anything for each other.

For Misaki there was never a bigger goal. There was just that friendship he treasured, that friend he wanted to protect and make happy. Nothing else mattered, not even his pride when he begged Suoh Mikoto to save his friend. No one had ever begged for Saruhiko before, so of course it was Misaki who did.

Misaki never wanted to challenge Saruhiko. He wanted to challenge the world with Saruhiko.

Because in his eyes Fushimi Saruhiko was the one who could change everything.

Four relationships that shaped Fushimi Saruhiko.

Two Lasted.

His King and his Partner.

it’s (not) enough. | jeonghan

member: yoon jeonghan / fem!reader
genre/warning(s): angst, fluff, romance.
word count: 2,700+
lengthy a/n: hi, again! first, i just wanna say thank you so much for all the kind feedback you all left regarding my last mingyu fic. seriously, you all gave me so much motivation to keep writing and my heart still beats faster just thinking about it! it’s positive responses like those that keep a writer content, happy, and motivated. so thank you!

⇢ also, this particular fic was requested by a dear anon that goes by missk. here’s hoping this didn’t take too long to be posted, and i hope you all enjoy it! ♥


It would be dishonest of you to deny the fact that, yes, you’ve mulled over the possibility of someone holding substantial significance in your life somehow forgetting your birthday, at least once. It’s only natural to contemplate over the what if factor of life, even if you’re confident that the chance of such an unfortunate event was slim to none.

Well, life has a funny and rather cruel way of reminding everyone that it’s never under anyone’s control…

You notice, with much scorn, how hard it is to deal with having your birthday forgotten. You never thought it would be hard, for you always predicted it would be embarrassing, infuriating, or even heartbreaking instead, at the most. And yet, it’s hard when your beloved family and friends start asking about Jeonghan’s whereabouts during your party. It’s hard to conjure up an excuse on his behalf when he doesn’t deserve it. He should be berated, called out, and disregarded on your special night, but you just can’t seem to do that.

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liebesleid (m) · one

ongoing miniseries |  request: reincarnation au with yoongi.
(—or a story of perpetual unrequited love.)

pairing: yoongi | reader
genre: a lot of angst and drama with a sprinkle of smut.
word count: 7.313
warnings: alcohol mention.
author’s note: a thousand thanks to @lthyl for helping me with the outline, you have the patience of a saint :’D ILY 

⇢ chapters: one | two


Chapter one: dolente.

The same melody repeats itself every dawn.

It is one of those casualties of life you want to deem insignificant, even if it has been going on for years now. Every time you find yourself in that narrow space between dormant and conscious, you can hear the sound of a piano with a clearness that’s almost eerie — as if someone’s caressing the black and white keys right next to your ear, producing a song that resonates in your chest and makes your throat constrict in ways you cannot understand.

It’s a melody you’ve loved ever since day one. It stays deep in your heart even if it keeps repeating itself to the point of annoyance, echoes against the corners of your mind and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand. It is as familiar as the voice of your mother, as the cool sheets of your bed and the warmth of the shower that prickles at your skin.

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When (Gaston x Reader)

Originally posted by lord-evans

Word Count: 1,943
Warnings: None
A/N: Ugh life is busy sometimes guys. Sorry for the hiatus, but ya girl is back now, so there’s a whoop. This was actually the first one-shot I ever wrote for Gaston, and I just found it again today and realized that this shiz ain’t half bad. SO HERE YA GO. Agains, apologies for being inactive. Missed ya’ll ❤️

Tags: (guys my Tumblr did a glitch and deleted the draft that I had my tag list saved on, so I lost all of that info. If you wanna be re-added to the new list and get tagged on all my future writings, just shoot me an ask)


Villeneuve was an immensely small village, so to say that news of something was all over town wasn’t a particularly impressive statement to make. But this time it was different. This time, what had started as the harmless ravings of a delusional lunatic had turned into something very real, and the fear, anger and intensity was spreading through the villagers like wildfire.  

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anonymous asked:

Can you tell me your daily routine or what you used to do to be this amazing???

is this a legit question? haha but alright i’ll answer it nevertheless! :^)

i’ve always been optimistic– ever since i was a kid, i always try my best to look at the brighter side of the things and combat every problem with that positive mindset. however, when i entered highschool, things have been really tough and rocky between myself, my family, my insecurities, mental health, my friends, and many more. it was exhausting and really, really a terrifying phase and it has drained the life out of me. it broke me and left me with nothing but bitterness and anxiety. i became a terrible person and resorted to cutting some people out of my life because i could not bear the thought of dragging them to my own crap. i even thought of harming myself. and although i was not clinically depressed, i knew there was something wrong with me. but despite all that, i held on to the little spark of hope that something could possibly change. and i dont know, somehow the pain, the sadness, the numbness, and all the other feelings just eventually went away with time. now, i know it sounds fake and impossible (sometimes, it feels like that too) but i promise you, i could guarantee that in my case, it got better and im quite sure it will get better for you, too. life is not all about misery– there are better and beautiful things at stake for you. and i could testify to that.

i then started helping myself after those months. i must admit: it’s not an immediate progression but my baby steps got me here and i couldn’t be more proud!

recently, my life is quite uneventful but i try my best to make the best out of everything. alsooo i’ve been really busy recently (which explains my inactivity) so my normal academic routine was divided into different sections to cater the new stuff that i got into. so here goes my daily routine i guess:

1. hygiene: i shower and wash my face every single day because my day isnt complete without washing my face, body, brushing my teeth, etc!
2. breakfast: i used to skip breakfast because i often times wake up really late and i consider breakfast insignificant! but ever since i had regular ugly tummy aches for not eating bfast, i started to make it a habit! in fact, it helps me become more capable for the rest of the day!
3. academics: hmm im a pretty pumped scholar so i think i do well in school? it’s just a matter of making competent outputs since our courses are mostly output-based.
4. organizations: since i’ve joined a lot of organizations this year, it’s been really tough for me! im still TRYING MY BEST to manage my time really well but im getting the hang of it! i am really passionate about the stuff that i get into and i give my 100% always!!
5. friends and family: unfortunately, due to my busy sched, i dont have much time for my family and friends!!! BUT I PROMISE IT IS REALLY REALLY important to make sure and check on the people u love once in a while!! so i still send them love all the way from my busy bum every time!!
6. mindset: my everyday mindset recently is basically work, work, work but dont overwork yourself– give your all and im sure you will do great!
7. study period: 50% of my time in the evening is dedicated to my org stuff and 50% for my acads!!
8. sleeping time: tbh im normally sleep-deprived (i know it’s toxic but what choice do i have) sooo sometimes before i start doing my stuff, i get some sleep and then wake up to do my stuff! it’s p effective so far!!
9. reevaluation: aaaah this is my favorite because before i sleep i always make sure to recall the stuff that i did the entire day for 10-15 minutes to point out the mistakes that i have done and consider checking on how to improve myself!!! y'all should do this too!!
10. social media: every day i alot 3 hours of my time for social media mostly for tumblr! it’s a huge ass improvement for a phone addict like me!
11. self-time: i cant stress enough how important this is to a growing person! every day, i dedicate an hour of my time for this!! normally, this is when i pamper myself, give myself a break, think about existential stuff, fix my self, plan this and that, etc!
12. bad days: of course just like most people, i have my bad days!! may it be losing my cellphone, failing an exam, etc! yes it’s normal and i dont exactly dwell on it, i let it pass, and i live my life. i believe in thr magic of fate– tomorrow would be a good day!
13. on failures: i cry about it (im a huge ass cry baby aaaah) but i accept and learn from it.

this response is really, really long im so sorry, i got really excited halfway!! but tbh, im nowhere near amazing but i ALWAYS try my best to be kinder (while giving my best) in everything that i say and do!! and somehow, it sorta changed the way i live my life. it’s empowering, really. and i suggest everyone who was able to read until here should do this too!!!!! it gets exhausting but i promise it’s worth it!!

i hope ur having a good day, bee! let’s be our best versions together! ly! 💕

Very Important Post

Here is the very important post i was talking about earlier.

For the last few months I have been severely depressed. I believed I had no identity, and I refused to spend time with the Lord over any of it. I stopped going to church, and I separated myself from any community besides the people I lived with. 

It was lonely and dark. Adam, having the only companionship of God, even felt lonely. So who was I to think I would be better off on my own. Let me be the one to tell you right now, YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED COMMUNITY. The Holy Spirit is constantly in community with the Father and the son. We were made to have community. You have gifts the body of Christ needs, and the body has gifts that you need. You are valuable. You are important. Get in community, there is no excuse, its literally essential for growth as a follower of Jesus. 

I went alone for probably 3 months possibly more. I’ve been on this road before. Its not the first time. It usually happens when  I start living in the kingdom and God is leading me towards something big, then I get afraid and stop. Hes so patient you guys. and its not like he is standing at the door tapping his foot angrily. When I was down, he felt my sorrow with me. he was by my side the entire time. I thought I could ignore him, but I couldn’t. Around 2 weeks ago, I couldn’t bear it anymore. My body was getting sick regularly, and my spirit cried out to God in the night, I was full of anguish and angst. I felt like I was a fragile mirror and the slightest breath would shatter me into a million tiny shards of hopeless pieces. 

I came upon a podcast from my old mentor, who I do stay in touch with, and I even posted some of our conversation in quotes as I am sure some of you have seen. 

The topics were, community and the kingdom. 

Monday of last week, I arrive at work and I the Lord tells me, “Start praying with your manager, and the sales manager ever week.”

both of them are believers, and I hardly even argue with God. I am nervous, but I go tell them I think we need to start praying regularly. They agree, and then the Lord gives me a question for them to ask. “What is my role at this place besides my job title”. So we took that questions and prayed over it through the week. After I talked to them and we got our questions written down, I was cleaning some glass and I heard a customer throwing glass away in the back. The Spirit was like, “Its Alex, with *Insert glass company* I want you to ask if he needs prayer.” I was like, okay I will. Sure enough, guess who comes around the corner, ITS ALEX. Its like God knows LOL. So I asked him and he said he didn’t need any prayer, then he stopped and was very concerned and asked me to pray that the hospital will accept his application for a reduction because his eye surgery cost 40,000 dollars. SO I prayed with him right there. 

Lets pause for a second, are you with me still?

A week before this I believe my life was meaningless, and hopeless, and hated everything and felt alone, here I am praying with customers, and leading a prayer meeting with the two managers of my job, both who have been believers longer than I’ve been alive, and both are experienced in this field longer than I am too. WHAT! Thats just how God is. Thats what its like living in the Kingdom!

God showed me some really cool stuff and I am going to share it with you guys because I cant help it, its just too good!

——————–

John 14:6  “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. “

John 4:23 “ Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.”

John 18:38 “ What is truth?” Pilate asked. Then he went out again to the people and told them, “He is not guilty of any crime. “

The word TRUTH used in all of these passages is the Greek word,   alétheia,  which translates to the word, REALITY. 

Think abot that for a second. IN life we consider reality what is happening in front of our eyes, and its mainly all bad. We get our source of information from the world, from the news, friends, family, our senses…. thats what we call reality, at least in a general sense. BUT Jesus is saying, “I am the way, The reality, and the life…” Read that again. Do you see it?

Open a tab on your computer and read Luke 5:1-11, then come back to this post.Before you go, keep this in mind, Jesus is the reality,


Did you read it? Please don’t continue reading this until you’ve read that small tidbit its crucial to what I am about to say next.

Peter says what to Jesus when he asks him to throw his net over?

Where is he getting the information that there is no fish? Who is telling him how the world really is right now? Hes getting his info from what he is experiencing, and its not the truth!

its interesting to me, that Peter says, “Because YOU say, Jesus, I will do it. And when he does, there are too many fish! But wait, didn’t he say there wasnt any in the water? He has been fishing all day?

Here’s what happened, Peter got to experience a glimpse of the Kingdom of God. His kingdom is here! Jesus showed it to him! See, when we look through the eyes of the world, WE ARE BLIND. We can’t see the truth, we can’t see reality! We are looking at a shadow of the truth, a reality that doesn’t actually exist. Look through the eyes of the kingdom. Do you know you can live in the Kingdom every where you go? Thats the goal at my job! To help my managers look through kingdom eyes! To help them see that they can live in the kingdom RIGHT NOW. We can walk and live in truth NOW. How do we do this? Romans 12:1-2! By the renewing of our minds. Every single day we have to change the way we thing, and soon it will become natural, because we are actually new people! We have to unlearn our reptilian thinking ways, and get back into the creator mindset like our Father! There is so much incredible potential out there! Nothing is sacred in the kingdom! Every situation, and place is bursting at the seems with Christ, we just have to LOOK through the lens of the kingdom, we have to actually live in the reality we say we believe, because its true!

Here’s whats even more crazy. Who is the king of this Kingdom? JESUS!

What does Matthew 6:33 say? Seek first the Kingdom and all will be added to you/ I will provide for you/ everything is taken care of.”


Can you even begin to understand the GRAVITY of that promise? That no matter what, if we are LIVING in the kingdom, not just a citizen, but living in the kingdom walking in the Spirit EVERYTHING will be taken care of? Which is CRAZY!!! Because that means, We have NOTHING to fear. Not North Korea, not the big earthquake, not the president, not the riots… Seek first the kingdom and all will be added to you. Thats so incredible. Its ridiculous!!

I have nothing to be afraid of, you know why? Because the book of Romans says that God’s gifts and calls are irrevocable and he will finish the good work he began in us. I believe that NOTHING, can take my life unless God allows it, nothing can harm me unless me purpose is fulfilled. Nothing can separate me from his love. I only have this confidence in Christ alone and from what he has promised us. IF GOD IS FOR US, WHO CAN BE AGAINST US? DO you see this? Change the way you see the world! God is HERE! If God is for you, who can be against you? The coworker? The classmate? The manager? No, its likely hes going to use you help them see the kingdom!

You dont have to be afraid, HE IS WITH YOU. 

Do you understand the meaning of the first sentence in John 3:16?

“For God so loved the world he gave his only Son.”
AHHHHHH! 

It means that the motivation of God for everything hes going to do in and through your life today and forever is HIS LOVE FOR YOU. He is NEVER mad at you and he is NEVER disappointed, This doesn’t mean its easy! If anything following Jesus is very hard, its challenging, sometimes people die being obedient, but they do it with Joy, because what an honor! What a way to go! 

You guys, we are made to experience God daily, to hear his voice, to speak with him in conversational relationship, to be in community with him and other believers, and to Live in the Kingdom. 

Guess what. We had our prayer meeting today and it went well. Friday Im talking to the whole warehouse staff about changing the way we think. If we want to be successful as a business, We have to change the way we see ourselves, and the place we work. I think God is going to raise us up in the top warehouses but we have to seek the kingdom, or it just wont work. Because if we arent living in the kingdom we are living in LIES. Do you get that? If you are not seeing through kingdom eyes you are seeing a world in deception. Thats disturbing isn’t it, but its true. 

Guess what else, I went to church yesterday,

Guess what else, I met with two friends, in public, got out of my introvert sphere and walked int he kingdom. We went to dinner and had one of the best conversations I have ever had ever, guess what it was mostly about… THE KINGDOM!!! Then we went and Saw Kings Kaleidoscope which was hella good. SO freaking good you guys.

Guess what else, One of my friends messaged me asking if we can meet and prayer for wisdom and advice. WHAT?! this is literally where I left off 3 months ago. God gives and he gives. 

I read a translation of one of the many names of God, I cant remember the name but it said, “God is more ready to give than we are to receive.”

Do you think of God like that? Do you realize, that before Jesus went on the cross he prayed to the father, “Let the love you have for me be in them [all believers]”

Jesus wants God, to love us, the same, that God loved him. WHAT> How wild is that?

DO you understand how valuable you are?

What if we lived in that? I think we can, Jesus showed us how! He said we can do what he did, even greater things than he did! Thats incredible! But we must live in the kingdom. No more christian Zombies! We are free! We are alive! God is with us! The Kingdom is here! We live in the reality of Christ, the only reality. Thats so amazing to me. 

I just wanna ask that you continue praying for me, and I pursue the Lord and be obedient in these things, that God will continue opening doors! Thank you for all of you that do!!

I hope your heart is stirring, that you feel incited, and inspired to go live in the kingdom. DO it! NO more excuses! You never know what could happen. its a beautiful adventure! Don’t be afraid to live, its amazing. I really believe in my heart, this is the way we are designed to love! I the abundance of Christ, in step with him on these wild crazy adventurous. Anyways, I’m doing so good right now. Wow. I could probably teach a class about this. I would if I could trust me. But anyways. Thank you so much for reading this!  


Love and Peace, 

Jordan

6

In the light novels, in this scene, it was very apparent that he was talking about Celty when he said “a monster at my deathbed”.
——
“…Kine-san…?”

“You were lucky I happened to be nearby’… It’d be a little hard to say that.”

“…”

“Your injuries were bad enough that you had to be rushed to the hospital, so I was fifty-fifty about helping you.” Kine spoke, blandly, of his own opinion.

“Honestly speaking, rather than that knife in your stomach, it’s the bruises that seem worse. It looks like your insides are in a bad state; you did well fighting Shizuo like that.”

With this, Izaya looked towards the side of his abdomen. Indeed, there was a projectile-type knife imbedded in it. But Shadow((courtesy of Celty)) coiled around the wound, suppressing the bleeding as much as was possible.

“You shouldn’t remove it. If you let it bleed your fifty percent chance would drop to ten.”

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I got fired for being gay once.
It was the day after my wife proposed.
I went into work and quietly told one of my coworkers, showing off my ring, and gushing about how romantic it was.
The next day, I got called into the office, and told that I’d been warned not to talk about my personal life. That he’d hoped we could ‘agree to disagree’ about my ‘life choices’, and that he was letting me go because ‘I wasn’t a good fit for the office’. His hand was shaking as he handed me the paper, and he couldn’t look me in the eye. He knew what he was doing was wrong.

I live in Georgia, a state where it’s perfectly legal to fire people for whatever reason you want. We contacted a lawyer, talked to several people, and there’s nothing that could be done.

I think about it a lot. I’m in a better place, making twice the amount of money, with a 401k, health insurance, and lots of vacation time. Stuff most people my age don’t have. So I know I’m very lucky in that regards. And my workplace is supportive of me, too. I feel blessed.

But what I think about more often, more than how I was fired, was how the wife of my boss had shown me a video of their ‘niece’, singing a song at another family member’s wedding. My boss’s wife gushed about how ‘wasn’t she so talented?’ and “I really think she could go somewhere with this.”

Her ‘niece’ was wearing a transgender flag pin on her jacket, and was dressing as a boy, with a very short hairstyle. The song was from a boy’s point of view, about loving a girl, and fearing it wouldn’t be requited.

I think about him, a lot. This kid that I never met before. And I worry for him. His family, at least his extended family, are some of the most discriminatory people I’ve ever met in my entire life. And I wonder if he’ll end up homeless, or in the shelter here in ATL just for LGBTQ+ kids, called The Lost and Found.

What happened to me was awful. I’m still not over it. But I’m an adult, someone who had their own place to live, someone who had resources and the means of getting themselves to some place better.

This kid…has none of that. If his family kicked him out, because they are such huge religious homophobes…where would he go? How would he survive? Do they tell him his ‘life choices’ are a sin, the way they did me? Will they look at him and say, “You’re part of the reason it’s so hard to be Christian in this country,” the way they did to me?

Atlanta is typically a much safer city than most. We’ve got a great LGBTQ+ supportive community, and I’m blessed myself to have so many wonderful friends, both straight, trans, ace, agender - people from all walks of life. 

But make no mistake: there are still people in this city like this. The ones that everyone says “they’re such nice, good southern Christians’, but they are the ones that hurt those who need support and empathy the most.

Things need to change, my friends. We’ve come a long way, but as long as that hateful mindset is present in our society, we’ve got a problem.

…I just really hope that kid is okay…

Hamilton: Alexander Hamilton [ENFP]

OFFICIAL TYPING by Charity / the Mod

Extroverted Intuition (Ne): Hamilton strides off the boat, prepared to impact the world around him, and uses ideas and words to do so – to the tune of writing hundreds of thousands of words, on various different topics, on dozens of documents, all within a very short amount of time, leaving his friends stunned at his productivity levels. He’s extremely reactive, responding to things as they happen quickly on an intellectual level, able to rip into people in debates and shred their arguments, a man of such fanatical energy and constant motion that others muse, “Why do you write like there’s no tomorrow?”

Introverted Feeling (Fi): He sides against his old friend Burr when his biggest enemy, Jefferson, runs for president, because in Hamilton’s mind, Burr “stands for nothing,” and has no moral fiber – at least Jefferson stands upon his moral convictions. Hamilton asserts his views without flinching, whether or not others like it; because he cannot see Burr’s presidency as being beneficial to the whole (Ne) since it lacks any moral fortitude (Fi), he campaigns against him despite their long-term friendship, because to do otherwise would violate his ethics. Hamilton often makes emotionally reactive, knee-jerk decisions – his affair, based on his own feelings at the time, and the countless instances where he becomes offended at criticism aimed at him or his friends, and challenges others to duels. He deals with his son’s death in his own internal way, and is more concerned for his own reputation than his wife’s feelings over his adultery.

Extroverted Thinking (Te): He’s a notorious workaholic, confining himself to long days “shut up” in an office, writing (like there’s no tomorrow) in order to make a tangible difference in the world; he creates the complex government financial system, which even Jefferson admits is admirable; Hamilton has a strong work ethic and drive, but doesn’t know when to slow down, take a vacation, or pause to consider the worth of his work – he over-taxes himself, becoming a shadow to family and friends, whom he appears to value less than getting his ideas down on paper. He wants leadership positions and campaigns for them, disappointed each time Washington passes him over, to keep him closer to home. Hamilton often acts (rashly) on his feelings – such as dueling Burr. He doesn’t mince words, ripping his opponents to shreds for their views and pointing to tangible evidence of their character defects.

Introverted Sensing (Si): Since his pen has worked for him before, Hamilton reasons that it will do so again (“I’ll write my way out!”). His past, his childhood traumas and experiences, shape who he is; he shows some attachment to traditional problem-solving methods of the day (honor demands retribution, and that involves a duel), and he values his own experiences over others (sneering at Jefferson for not fighting in the war) but he shows no genuine attachment to the comforts and securities of home, nor does he learn from his son’s death.

Note: Hamilton’s been typed as various thinkers, but he’s driven by his moral outrage and passion, his tert Te is what makes him so strong-willed and even obnoxious (he lacks any Fe, to understand that to change minds, you need to impact other people’s emotions, not alienate them; instead, he charges in with tert-Te’s “bull in a china shop” methods). The fanatical energy of Ne-dom is what introverted Burr envies so much about him (getting his ideas out there, leaping on chances as they happen) and strong, defiant Enneagram Types (I suspect 8/3 are dominant) makes him much more physically aggressive and confrontational than most ENFPs. I considered ESFP but Hamilton’s entire world is dealing in concepts, ideas (Ne) that he wants to make reality (Te).

Enneagram 3w4 “The Achiever”            

  • Basic Fear: Of being worthless
  • Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile

In the opening track of the musical, the phrase used to introduce Hamilton is “And the world’s gonna know your name.” This couldn’t be a better summery of the Type 3 mindset. From the very beginning Hamilton strives for greatness, but also for recognition  (“I wanted to do what you did, graduate in two and join the revolution. He looked at me like I was stupid, I’m not stupid.”) His focus is not only in actualizing his dreams (Graduating from King’s College as fast as possible, taking a command in the continental army) But in gaining social status as well (“I could fly above my station after the war.”)

Hamilton, like many type three’s struggles with authenticity. He is a terrible flirt, and is well known for chasing women. Angelica Schuyler is perfectly aware that in courting her he is seeking wealth and station, but when she introduces him to Eliza, Hamilton finds stability and learns to be a more honest and dependable man. (“You’re family brings out a different side of me…No stress. My love for you is never in doubt.”) This is essentially integration to type 6, becoming committed and cooperative, rather than inauthentic and mercurial.

Two things ultimately find a chink in Hamilton’s workaholic armor. One, the death of his son, reduces him to a shadow of his former self as he mourns (Type 9 disintegration) The other is the possible loss of his reputation, which sends him into a tailspin. The thought of losing his reputation, his legacy, is unthinkable to a type 3, since that is essentially what they work for. He makes a desperate bid to maintain his reputation with honesty (an attempt at type 6 integration) and manages to deal with the fallout with some integrity.

In the end, Hamilton’s choice to forfeit his final duel, and his life, revolve around his relationship to achievement and reputation. In giving up, rather than retaliating against Burr, he identifies the legacy that he really wants, which is not one of violence, but of acceptance. He struggles with his need to impact the world up to the very end. (“America, you great unfinished symphony.”) But also openly appreciates the opportunities that he has been given (“A place were even orphan immigrants can leave their fingerprints…”)

Enneagram typist: intj-the-cynical-idealist

anonymous asked:

friend i am having feelings and i don't know what to do with them so. what do you think about taako pre-the stolen century and post-the stolen century with regards to other people/his family? i was relistening to the finale and he seems much more open + i was wondering if u had thoughts about him becoming better friends w everyone now that he remembers lup (his heart) and if anyone reacts to that, any and all thoughts are much Appreciated, thank u, ur lovely

oh hello friend mm yes good taako feelings do u mean: my entire life, oh god, let me escape the Taz Feelings Pit oh no i’m being dragged down deeper save yourself don’t worry about me e e  e    e .

what? what.

okay but yes! you are right! in the finale eps taako is much more of a Chill and Open boy than he had been in the rest of the narrative. and i think you can identify three distinct taako mindsets/arcs in TAZ. so the first is the way he acts before he gets his memory back — a Cold Boy who Does Not Trust and is Not Used To Having People Who Love Him but is Gradually Warming Up. The second is the way he acts during stolen century — Ride or Die with Lup and Now Also The Crew, he’s used to having close relationships but is also pretty closed off to anyone who isn’t on the starblaster. And then! and then you have the third taako mindset which i think is sort of a combination of the previous two, where he remembers how to actually give a shit about someone in a non-prickly sardonic way, and is willing to extend that to people beyond his immediate family.

so tbh i’ve thought a lot about this (how many goddamn taako character studies have i written, im a disaster, someone take away my computer), and i think that the people around taako are not really super surprised but like, a lil bit surprised by how taako changes, that he’s less……prickly. i mean, he’s still prickly. but he’s more willing to outwardly give a shit and care about things and say that things matter to him. I think Magnus and Merle probably compare and contrast the way that taako acted during the last year to the century that they knew him and it’s like “huh, this is what he’s like without lup,” but that relationship doesnt change that much.

that being said, i think that taakos relationship to all the new friends – especially ango and ren gets a lot better because now he remembers lup. and like, its not even so much remembering lup that does it as it does having the memory of growing up with someone who gave a shit about him, and who he gave a shit about. it’s a shift from a mindset of self interest to a mindset of caring about other people. and i mean, taako could be kind of cruel. i think there’s less of that now.

I think maybe kravitz is the most surprised. i think kravitz probably saw a lot of taako, and he kind of knew that taako is, well, maybe not insecure, but that taako hasn’t had anyone in his life until recently who cared about him and that taako isn’t someone who is practiced at anything but self-protection.  now he knows about lup, and taako has his memory back, and kravitz knows now that taako, instead of being a lonely boy, was actually super ride-or-die one-half of the wonder twins duo. i think this actually makes their relationship a lot better, because taako is more likely to openly acknowledge that this relationship is important to him, and that he cares. because i can’t imagine amnesia!taako openly vocally acknowledging the importance of any relationship, because to do that would make it real, and taako does not know how to deal with the serious (okay fuck im just projecting now i’ll stop).

that being said, i dont REALLY think that much of taako’s behavior changes. he’s still a snarky prank annoying boy, and he still mostly shows affection through being a dick. it’s just, well, it’s tempered.

……this is probably more than u wanted. <3

6.22:

SAM: What happened?
ELEANOR: They took me. I got away.
(She opens her coat. Her shirt is soaked with blood by her stomach.)
BOBBY: Oh, Ellie. What have they done to you?
ELEANOR: (chuckles) Everything. The demon I could’ve handled, but when the angel stepped in, I - (sighs) I told him, Bobby. They have enough to crack Purgatory wide open

Ellie died moments later. After saying it was an angel torturing her that made her break. Now, we know there are other angels working for Cas and Crowley, guarding Crowley’s lab, who may have actually been responsible for the torture, but even we don’t know that for sure.

DEAN BELIEVES CAS TORTURED HER.

That information, the fact that Dean isn’t sure that it couldn’t have been Cas who tortured her, that he has to believe the worst, because in 6.20 believing the best of Cas was proven disastrously and catastrophically the wrong choice… And he just can’t take that risk with so much on the line here…

Then Cas showed up with his ultimatum, the same one he’d delivered Dean in 6.20 and 6.21, only now in a state of desperation:

CASTIEL: I’m sorry this had to happen. Crowley got carried away.
BOBBY: Yeah, I bet it was all Crowley you son of a bitch! (He tries to go after Castiel but Sam and Dean restrain him and he steps back.)
DEAN: (to Castiel) You don’t even see it, do you? How totally off the rails you are!
CASTIEL: Enough! I don’t care what you think. I’ve tried to make you understand. You won’t listen. So let me make this simple. Please, go home and let me stop Raphael. I won’t ask again.
DEAN: Well, good, ‘cause I think you already know the answer.
CASTIEL (shakes his head) I wish it hadn’t come to this. Well rest assured, when this is all over, I will save Sam, but only if you stand down.

Then he breaks Sam’s wall. After lying to Dean YET AGAIN, about it having been Crowley who “got carried away” with torturing Ellie, when Ellie had just told them it had been “the angel” who’d done that to her.

But how much has Cas really tried to make Dean understand? He spent almost the entire season doing everything in his power to keep Dean in the dark about everything. Yes, it was in a misguided attempt to protect Dean, but the cumulative weight of all those lies was just too much.

Sam’s journey to piecing himself back together inside his own mind is a direct mirror to what Dean’s been going through in the last three episodes regarding Cas. Since I’ve been writing over the last few days about how s6 is truly a tragedy in the classical sense, wherein the hero walks past warning sign after warning sign because they simply have no context for correctly interpreting those warnings, this really explains it well.

Sam has two lines here that Cas will eventually use in 7.17 when he eventually gets to piece himself back together… “I don’t remember anything” which eventually becomes “I remember everything. I remember you.”

I think Cas has already gone past the point of no return here. Whatever he’s been doing for the last year has changed him. Unlike how everything SINCE then has changed him for the better (as Sam assured him in 12.10), s6 definitely changed him for the worse…

CASTIEL: First Sam and Dean, and now this. I’m doing my best in impossible circumstances. My friends, they abandon me, plot against me. It’s difficult to understand.

He doesn’t understand WHY they “abandon and plot against him.” Because the moment they discovered how much he’d been lying to them all over the last year and a half he’s given them no reason to trust him. We know he’d also been lying to Balthazar, supposedly his closest supporter who’d Cas trusted Sam and Dean’s safety to multiple times over the year, but still Cas killed him when Balthazar tried to help Sam and Dean.

Cas had already reached that point of no return before he ever made that ultimatum to Dean. He’s already been poisoned in a way, hardened himself to do what he had to do, because he’d missed all those warning signs screaming at him to turn back all season long…

DEAN: You’re full of nuke. It’s not safe. So, before the eclipse ends, let’s get them souls back to where they belong.
CASTIEL: Oh no, they belong with me.
DEAN: No, Cas, it’s it-it’s scrambling your brain.
CASTIEL: No, I’m not finished yet. Raphael had many followers, and I must punish them all severely.
DEAN: Listen to me. Listen, I know there’s a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I’d have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you… Please. I’ve lost Lisa, I’ve lost Ben, and now I’ve lost Sam. Don’t make me lose you too. You don’t need this kind of juice anymore, Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all.
CASTIEL: You’re just saying that because I won. Because you’re afraid. (Behind him, Sam picks up the angel killing sword.) You’re not my family, Dean. I have no family.

Thing is, look at what Dean says he’s lost: Lisa, Ben, Sam. Why has he lost each of them? AS A DIRECT RESULT OF CAS. But Cas can neither understand that, nor is it something he can let himself care about while it’s all happening. He has to keep focused on the bigger picture if he has any hope of winning against Raphael, and also against Crowley now.

And this entire mess is ALL down to Cas’s initial choice. What he’s been through, essentially alone for the last year and a half, hardening himself into a single-minded focus, taking the entire responsibility for everything onto his own shoulders as ally after ally has abandoned and “betrayed” him (Rachel, Balthazar, and now Dean… granted NONE of them actually betrayed him, they just were so appalled on learning his plan to defeat Raphael that  they could no longer support him, but that’s as good as betrayal in his purpose-driven, ends-justify-the-means mindset).

And yet still Dean tells him that everything’s not lost, that it’s not too late to turn the bus around, to save himself. Dean was offering him a hand, despite having lost everything because of Cas’s actions over the last year… he still hasn’t given up on Cas.

But of course it’s too late. It’s always been too late. Because that’s the definition of a tragedy.

Think Twice, Post Once

This is something that almost nobody, it seems, is capable of, on Social Media. My “Yahoo News” headlines today, had a story about Piers Morgan, a well-known Professional Ass, in England. He decided to troll Ariana Grande. Now, I didn’t even know who she was, until the terror attack at her concert in Manchester. But in the course of reading news stories about that vile tragedy, I got the impression that she is (as pop stars go) a very sweet, decent one who treats her fans well, and is not particularly sluttish.

So, what did Morgan find to criticise? The fact that she “didn’t stick around to ‘comfort’ her fans in the hospital, but ‘ran away’ back to the US.” Well, it’s clear to me that the poor girl was driven into a classic No-Win-On-The-Internet situation, forced on her by events entirely outside her control. Because, the mindset of the average TROLL like Morgan, is that Other People Can Do No Right.

So, we can easily infer that if Ms. Grande had stuck around, and made some visits to hospitals to comfort her injured fans, the Trollish torch-and-pitchfork set (no doubt led by Morgan) would have come out in droves, to attack her for “using injured victims to self-promote and try to make herself look good”. If you read the news, and if you read those “comment sections” at the bottom of online news articles, you know that’s exactly the line of attack Morgan and his ilk would have taken.

But Ms. Grande did not thrust herself (a stranger, after all, not a friend, not a family member) into the midst of others’ tragedy, their extremity. She had the good taste (a concept now almost as extinct as the dodo) to not put injured people, or their grieving kindred, in the position of having to figure out how to also interact with a Famous Person Who Doesn’t Even Know Them. So, for giving people their privacy, for not interjecting herself into the midst of others’ distress, she has been damned as being, somehow, selfish.

Morgan also, absurdly, compared Ms. Grande’s decision to fly home, with the decision of Queen Elizabeth, to go and offer Official Comfort. The absurdity of comparing those two, is almost too egregious to even require comment. But, what the heck, it’s the Internet, so I will. “Comforting the Nation” is the Queen’s JOB. It’s pretty much her only job. It’s the main thing the nation pays her to do. She’s been doing it (like her father before her) since at least World War 2. If there is any non-family member that the average British person will perceive as “practically family” and be okay with having turn up at their bedside, it’s QE2, who is by now, Everybody’s Wonderful Old Great-Granny.

There are plenty of other points that can be made, about Piers Morgan leading the Charge of Trolls. For instance: how does he know that she was not, in fact, advised to leave the UK as quickly as possible, by law enforcement and anti-terror experts? They may have been justifiably concerned that she was the actual target. They may have felt that having to assign security to protect a foreign celebrity, would be a waste of valuable resources, much better used in making a (belated) effort to track down and neutralise others planning similar attacks. They may have felt that if she was the target, anywhere else she went in the country (including, dreadful as it is to think, hospitals) would be put at even higher risk. I’m sure that anti-terror decision makers don’t run their ideas past Piers Morgan to first get his viewpoint.

And after all, how does Morgan know that Ms. Grande herself was not suffering from PTSD? “Survivor’s remorse” is real, and can be emotionally devastating. If she feels convinced that this attack was actually meant for herself (or even, was inspired by her show in some way), she must be grief-stricken at the thought that it actually harmed so many innocent bystanders - but not herself. Grief of that sort takes time to process.

Just one more thing. A couple days ago, when there was an announcement that Ms. Grande is now planning to put on a fundraising concert to help the victims, my mouse inadvertently hovered over that sidebar, and brought up a random comment by one of the rank-and-file trolls. That guy (anonymous, naturally) was moved to verbally attack the girl, for “wanting to make her fans pay to help the victims” instead of “paying for them herself”. See what idiots these people are? In the first place, she can’t possibly be rich enough to meet all the needs that all the injured, the permanently disabled, the orphaned, and the widowed, have now, and will have in future. But a benefit concert done right (say, as live-feed, to encourage donations worldwide), can bring in far more than she could provide as a single person.

But for a troll sitting in his little darkened room, arousing himself by the repetitive, wanking act of spewing hate, nobody but himself ever does anything right, ever can do right. The whole world is wrong, but him. Ah well. We can’t get rid of them all, but maybe the UK will finally feel it’s had enough of Piers Morgan, and bury him, forthwith, in oblivion.

Character Analysis: Renzo Shima [Blue Exorcist]

I think one of the most relatable characters I’ve ever encountered in a series that I don’t really talk about on my blog is Renzo Shima from Blue Exorcist and my personal favourite character in the series. The pink-haired, lighthearted and carefree entophobe Aria/Knight that actually turned out to be a double agent for the Illuminati. Yup, that’s my fave.

When he’s first introduced, Shima is portrayed as a clear womanizer (well the guy tries to be anyway with many failed flirting attempts), but in the end he’s a dependable guy who’s nice to be around when you need a laugh or someone you can depend on. He’s rather lazy. In fact, he didn’t even really want to become an exorcist, it was just expected of him since it’s his family’s business. Shima typically wants the easy way out in a situation, and will usually only do something if it’s for his friends.

He’s a follower, but he will easily break out from that mindset if it seems like more work to stick with the decision than go against it. [ex. still being friends with Rin after his identity reveal to the group on being Satan’s son.]

Shima’s the nice laidback guy with sound judgement.

Which is why when his true allegiance to the Illuminati as a spy came to light, everyone was completely stooped and felt sucker punched.

This guy right here:

Actually a spy?

Yes, as shocking as it was for the entire group to discover, especially Izumo, Bon, and Konekomaru, Shima was a spy. Right before his admission to True Cross is when he joined up with them. Some might deem his reason for joining up with the Illuminati was stupid and/or petty, but I wasn’t even mad because of the simple fact that I knew the kind of feeling he was talking about.

Many people, typically adults for the most part or mature teens in some situations, usually think that when you’re young, you have little stress and problems to worry about. They couldn’t be more wrong.

Shima is the fifth and youngest son in his family. Deeming him with typically fewer responsibilities than the elder siblings. From someone else’s perspective, all that means is that Shima was just given more time to idly spend his time as he wanted before he went to True Cross to learn the family business– being an exorcist.

Yes, it was shown from what little we got that Shima did have it fairly easier compared to his other siblings. But that didn’t change anything as far as traditions go. Him becoming an exorcist, regardless, of what he wanted was always there. Renzo Shima was going to become an exorcist of some kind and join in the family bizz, just like his childhood friends Suguro (Bon) and Konekomaru who also just assumed the same thing as Shima’s father and siblings.

They [meaning Suguro and Konekomaru] were no escape from the life Shima was dealing with at home. They only enforced it. It’s even seen within the series before setting up the actual importance of Shima’s character for the series later on, when he still seemed to just be the lazy overater. “Hello! You’re supposed to be a monk, Shima!”

Shima never got that “Son, no matter what you choose, I’ll always love you. Just tell me what it is that you, as Renzo Shima, want to do with your life, and I’ll support you as much as I can.” from anybody. Not his dad, his brothers, sisters, or mother.

All he got was “You’re oldest brother was so brave and died protecting you, Renzo. You must live up to his footsteps!” There can even be some family negligence involved if we refer back to when his mother no-holds-barred disregarded Shima entirely to ask how Suguro and Konekomaru was doing before asking him. It may seem harmless to some, but to a teen of Shima’s mindset, that was probably a big deal.

First his oh-so-amazing brothers he has to be like and now his clearly favoured best friends from childhood? 

Which I will now lead up to what he told Izumo when she finally asked him “Why”. What Shima told her was:

Shima fell victim to something that some people can just take too lightly:

He had too many high expectations pressured onto him and he crashed and burned under them. He wanted to “throw everything away”. He hated everyone, possibly even himself, and he had no one to talk to about it.

If anything, due to how carefree his is, anyone else would just assume ‘Oh it’s just Shima being all overdramatic again. He’ll get over it eventually the turd.”

Another prime example of someone crashing under too many expectations is the character Haruka Nanase from Free!.

Right in the middle of an important meet, with tons of scouts watching him, Haruka froze up and stopped swimming in the middle of his lane. Shocked all his friends and teachers who were expecting more of him, being a pro swimmer. Joining the Olympics.

And it got to him, right to the very moment he started swimming, and he just couldn’t keep going anymore.

He even lashed out at Rin saying,  “What dream? What future? I don’t have any of that!”

“What dream? What future? I don’t have any of that.”

That is the quote I immediately associate with Shima when I hear it during my moments of being in the Blue Exorcist fandom.

Shima couldn’t take it anymore.

The expectations his family and friends had for him.

The lack of choice he had to choose from with his own future.

His own self-loathing.

So when the Illuminati appeared and asked him for his assistance in being a spy, Shima knew all the risks. What would happen if he was discovered. If his friends and family found out. Maybe even the surefire possibility of dying.

Which is why he took it.

This was his own of saying, he had no dream, no future. That was already thrust upon him and he didn’t want it. But no one cared. So why should he? I believe this is the most realistic portrayal of a character’s psyche Kato has done, and this is an unbiased opinion.

So for now, we’re all just seeing how the ride will turn out for him.

Predictions-wise as of late with his brother saying he is still loyal to True Cross in actuality, the gang’s reluctance in trusting him, and the fact he was revealed to be a spy in the first place all just lead to a clear Death Flag for Shima.

There are a few ways I can see this happening:

  1. Shima decides to go back to work for True Cross officially, not wanting to trail upon this trail of darkness anymore and ends up getting killed by Lucifer in a “You guys go ahead! I’ll keep him stalled for as long as I can so go kick some satanic ass!” manner.
  2. Suicide redemption.
  3. Or some Illuminati member of some kind of importance kills him later with a “You are no longer of any use to us now. Die.” way.

It sucks to think any of the possibilities might happen, especially since he’s my favourite character, but I’ve seen characters like Shima in other series that ended up dying in some way. But if it doesn’t happen, well finally one of the characters on my list favourite characters didn’t die for once! And hopefully, we’ll be getting more on his background in order to add on to his character analysis.

So let us all please enjoy the great character of Renzo Shima.

8.10: Seriously, Dean? That’s the story you’re going with? That the vampire was the real victim here?

Ouch. Because yeah, Sam. He was.

SAM: You needed me to what? To tear ass to Texas? To be afraid that what happened to Jessica, what happened to… everybody that we care about might have happened to her?
DEAN: You were gonna kill Benny. What was I supposed to do?
SAM: Is that what we are? You save a vampire by making me believe that the woman I love might be dead?
DEAN: What do you want to hear, Sam? That I was wrong? Fine. I was wrong. Okay? But if you’d have just heard me out, if you’d have trusted me, all of this could have been avoided.
SAM: You didn’t want me to trust you. You wanted me to trust Benny, and I can’t do that.

Sam demands that Dean be “done” with Benny. Apparently Dean’s not allowed to have friends that Sam doesn’t approve of. But at least Amelia gives Sam a choice about whether or not to stay with her. Sam’s issued Dean the same sort of ultimatum to Dean regarding Benny. In the worst display of Winchester codependency, they both cut ties with their outside friends.

AMELIA: I’m telling you that if you stay, against everything I believe in, I would be with you. But if you leave… don’t come back. I can’t have you with one foot in my life and one foot out there doing… whatever it is you do. That life of yours I have no idea about.
SAM: You don’t want to know about it. Believe me. It’s a big step.

But Sam, if you honestly ever had a shot at staying with her AT ALL, after she’s showed you all her cards, you still haven’t been willing to make that “big step” with her, and tell her about who you really are. And she hurt you with that ultimatum, so you turned right around and made the same sort of demand on Dean. None of it was fair to any of you, but such is the sort of thing that happens when you base your personal relationships on lies…

So Dean and Sam are split up, and Cas comes to ask Dean for help finding where Crowley has captured and is torturing Samandriel.

Poor Dean had just gotten up the nerve to ask Cas to hang out at a bar when they find Crowley’s demons. Cas wanted to bring Sam in to help fight the demons, but Dean brings him to Kevin instead to have him assemble some of his demon bombs. Cas flaps off to assemble what they need, and returns with all of that PLUS Sam.

Meanwhile Benny calls and asks to meet with Dean, because he’s having a difficult time adjusting, but Dean has to delay him because of the case. Dean’s also confused about why Kevin would send his mom away:

DEAN: Yeah, but your mom’s your mom.
KEVIN: I can’t enjoy a world I need to save, Dean. I can enjoy it when this is all over with. For right now… there’s nothing more important than this.

But thank goodness for Cas showing up to talk some sense into Dean and Sam:

DEAN: I told you we didn’t need him.
CASTIEL: We need everything, Dean. And I need both of you, as you say, to stow your crap. Can you do that?

Cas was working on a VERY SIMILAR mindset to where he is now in s12:

DEAN: Okay, so, what? We go in, take care of the hell mooks, and you extract the angel?
CASTIEL: Yes. After killing so many, I need to save at least this one.

Like in 12.19, telling Dean that he just needs to bring home one win for Dean, for himself. He’s been working a long time toward that end, and now he’s so desperate for that win, but he’s also desperate for it in a far more specific context– in protecting Dean from even needing to play a part in that “win.” Because in this case, a win is also a very big loss. Murdering an innocent, the killing of the nephilim, that’s not something Cas wants Dean to have to tarnish himself with.

Meanwhile back at the warehouse, Cas hears Alfie’s screams while Crowley is torturing him, and he experiences traumatic flashbacks to the same kind of torture that he experienced under Naomi’s care. We finally get to see the degree to which Naomi has hurt Cas, reprogramming him, controlling him.

And then we see the absolute worst: (Aside from Dean killing the demon who could’ve told them about the Angel Tablet and Alfie trying to tell Cas about Naomi and all the other secrets that Crowley’s probing revealed to him)

Naomi forces Cas to kill Samandriel, and he’s powerless to resist. Whatever she did to force his hand causes such conflict within Cas that his eye bleeds. And Dean’s earlier suspicions of what might be affecting Cas, whatever saved him from Purgatory, is somehow still hurting him.

The robotic puppet that talks to Sam and Dean neither looks nor sounds like Cas, because it isn’t. What IS Cas is the heartbroken version sitting in Naomi’s office while his vessel is being controlled into doing terrible things on behalf of Naomi… He only wanted to atone for the terrible things he’d done, and now he’s being used AGAIN. Somehow the punishment doesn’t look all that different from his original crime.

Back at the cabin, Sam and Dean feel the need to ward the place so Cas can’t see or hear them, because they BOTH can see plainly that he’s not himself. They just have no idea who’s messing with him, or why. But they each have to make a decision about cutting ties with the other people in their lives:

DEAN: Well, I do know this – whatever you decide, decide. Both feet in or both feet out. Anything in between is what gets you dead.
SAM: Yeah, I keep hearing that. I’m gonna… take a walk. Clear my head.

And all of a sudden their entire world’s shrunk back down to just the two of them, and I honestly want to scream. Thank HECK they run into Charlie on their very next case…

capricornhunter  asked:

Hello Zoe, my darling friend =3 I'm in a Neal appreciation mood right now and I was wondering if you headcanon Neal as straight or queer and who you ship with him :D

I like this ask. 

I like this ask a lot.

Okay, so–I can’t think of a single character I’ve ever headcanoned as just “straight”, but let me tell you how much I don’t head canon Neal as “straight.” 

I pretty much ship him with everybody, he’s one of those characters who I just…I honestly feel like he is such a beautiful, beautiful person, inside and out, and he’s got so many layers and nuances that he could have a viable relationship with anybody. But when I consider my actual ships for him, I also have to consider who would be good FOR Neal, not just whose life he could brighten with that brilliant smile.

1. Swanfire (Neal/ Emma)

We all know how much I ship Swanfire, how cute they are together….the dry sass, the “best-friends-in-love” vibe they give; the instinctual looking out for each other. the fact that they have a son, who has managed to encompass his mother’s rashness/ nerve, and his father’s compassion, and BOTH of their snarky-ass sarcasm…How Swanfire is the city-slicker, coffee-stained, dry-witted fairy tale romance we all wanted. the Lost Boy and Lost Girl, constantly breaking my heart with their angst, and managing emotional maturity by facing their flaws as a couple and still making an effort to work past them because they love each other….and still managing to be immature in their banter, getting all snarky with each other and loving that they are in fact the coolest motherfuckers in town (even when they’re the biggest dorks in town, too). Ah, Swanfire…

2. MadFire (Neal/ Jefferson)

HOW DO I DESCRIBE HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS WOULD BE? AND I’M NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT THEIR HYPOTHETICAL LOVE CHILD, BECAUSE DAMN, WITH THOSE GENES, THAT CHILD WOULD BE UNSTOPPABLE.

Okay, listen, kids: sooooooo…..They’re both dads. Which seems like a basic similarity, when you say it like that, but it lends so much insight into their characters. As dads, they’re both already in that midnight of “I will do anything for this kid, I am willing to sacrifice everything.” That it the purest form of unselfishness there is, and they both have it: to me, unselfishness is the cornerstone of love. you have to be willing to put your self aside to do right by someone. Since they’re both already equipped with that mindset, I think there would be a security in that relationship….they can trust the other, and both of them need that. Jefferson being brutally betrayed by evil!Regina, and Neal being betrayed by…well….fucking everybody. They both deserve that kind of trust.

And good God, think of the sass…..Jefferson is so extra and theatrical, and Neal is this smirky, sarcastic little bastard. Whether they are working together against a common enemy, or it’s Jeff vs. Neal, the chemistry of their sass would be epic. 

3. FireQueen (Neal/ Regina)

Honestly, this ship snuck up on me, but I think it kind of totally works. Regina is a villain, but she’s probably the best example of a reformed villain this show has to offer (before they rushed the rest of the process in 3B and fucked it up royally). Henry is her entire reason for trying so hard, and I think Neal could respect that for two reasons: 1) it’s his kid, too, and obviously, he would do anything for that boy, also, so he completely understands 2) Because he’s been on the receiving end of that, seeing Rumple trying so hard to turn around and not depend on Dark Magic (however much the writers decided he was willing to, as it varies from episode to episode, not that I’m salty). So he can respect how much of an effort she’s making, how hard it is, and I think that would mean a lot to him. Regina is capable of being a good person, and I think Neal would be more than willing to support her.

We can just assume that trying to absorb the simultaneous beauty of Neal and Regina would be like staring into the sun, and our eyes would be set on fire, so let’s just move on to the Sass Factor. Again, Regina has a similar sass to Jefferson, with all the diva-ness and theatricality–but she’s also got this dry, wry wit that comes out (usually around Emma). I think they could finish each other’s sentences, have a fucking running commentary on the entire town, sipping coffee, without skipping a beat on the sarcastic remarks. And they would be so fucking classy, oh, my God…..They would discuss things like literature and cinematography over wine-taring and I love it.

4. HunterFire (Neal/ Graham)

So….Graham is a sweetheart. A teddy bear. The cutest, doe-eyed little Sheriff Skinnyjeans who could probably roundhouse kick Chuck Norris without blinking, and then offer to make everyone tea. Graham is deadly because of his hunter identity, but Graham Humber the man is an adorable sweetheart. 

Neal Cassidy. Sweet. Broken. Sarcastic. Actually a badass, because he knows how to use a crossbow, and damn, if he doesn’t look mad sexy doing it. Also, a fucking hero, without question. He is the guy who makes all the sarcastic remarks, rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath, smirks at everyone’s foolishness…but when push comes to shove, he’s the one you can depend on.

They would be the warmest, cutest, secretly badass couple ever. 

Just picture sweet adorable Graham trying to offer broken-feeling Neal tea, while simultaneously swearing to kick the offender’s ass into the next dimension….Graham not having a problem with being affectionate in public, Neal being all like, “Dude, come on!” (but secretly loving it).

Graham loves Henry, already. Picture this family: Henry between his two dads, the amount of love and warmth and support in this household…I’m getting tears, just thinking about it.

5. FrozenFire (Neal/ Elsa)

Sooooooo….here’s some establishing-ness we need to get out of the way: “Magic is emotion” (quote from Rumple, 2x16). Elsa is afraid of magic. Has to reign in her emotions because that’s what prompts her magic. Neal is also wary of magic, because he’s see what it does, and also, if you don’t think that dude is majorly repressing 200 years’ worth of emotion, you’re smoking something.

Obligatory mention that this would be a beautiful couple. 

Here we go: Elsa is fully ensconced in the world of magic: she knows how to use it, she doesn’t know how to control it. So she understands where Neal is coming from, and she doesn’t judge. But she still needs support. She still needs someone to rely on when she feels that power threatening to overtake her, when she can’t reign in her own abilities. Enter Neal Cassidy.

He’s seen how powerful magic can be, he’s seen it take over a person. He knows she’s scared, he understands how terrified she is….He gets it. But he’s also trying to accept magic, because it’s such a huge part of Elsa, it almost defines her. The growing acceptance makes it easier for him to support her, and her him, and God…this would be such a loving supporting couple, helping each other through their emotional crises. I mean, perfect example of how much work a relationship is, regardless of how well you get along.

Elsa doesn’t have an abundance of sass, but Neal has enough for both. Imagine him snarking someone, without mercy, just tossing out all these sarcastic remarks, and Elsa’s like, gently admonishing him, but trying so hard not to laugh. And that’s the other thing–I think Neal would be really good at making Elsa laugh. She doesn’t laugh a lot, but he can do it every time. He would make her happy, and for the first time, she might feel that heavy burden on her shoulders lifting. 

6. Honorary mention to Tinkerbae (Neal/ Tink) because while I ship it, there is an expert in our midst who can actually do it a lot more justice than me and I’m a little intimidated by the prospect of explaining. See @maddiebonanafana for a brilliant meta on the potential of Tinkerbae.

anonymous asked:

If you're still taking requests, how would the RFA+V & Unknown react to Zack wanting to adopt a child.

Hello Anon! Just to let everyone know REQUESTS ARE OPEN. Okay let’s get started and thank you for sending one in. :)

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Yoosung

  • “Really?!” 
  • “I’m going to look into it now!”
  • “Should we get them pets now? Or later?”
  • I think he’d be excited actually. 
  • At max I think he would want two
  • A boy and a girl
  • He’d be happy to start a family with Zack and live a comfortable life together. 
  • He’d want to tell the RFA right away and would spam the chat with: 
    -The new house they bought so they can have the perfect family home
    - The playground set
    -The adoption process
    -Getting the children
    -And etc. 
  • Buy them all the game systems
  • Go hunting for rare ones on the weekends. 
  • I hope they look like Rika
    -LMBO I had too… XD

ZEN

  • He’d be scared. 
  • Would he be a good dad? 
  • Would he be there for the kid and his husband because of his busy workload? 
  • I picture them adopting a girl. 
  • He’d treat her like the princess she is. 
  • They’d take her to plays 
  • She’d be in drama/choir
  • They’d get her all the pretty costumes and do mock plays in their living rooms
    -Zack’s the audience cuz he can’t act to save his life
  • They’d get her a puppy to grow up with
    -The dogs name is Shakespeare because why not? 
    -They would love each other and be best friends
    - I am now jealous of her
  • He’d love her unconditionally 

Jaehee Kang

  • She’d be happy with it. 
  • Wow! He asked her! She was nervous to
  • They’d get a sensible child
  • I picture a boy. 
  • If you’ve played Dreamy Days in West Tokyo he’d be Haru
  • He’d take over the family coffee shop
  • She’d always help him with his homework
  • She’d put him in Tae Kwon Do (or whatever she does) 
  • He’d have a pet hamster 
    - His name is Espresso
    - He’s very fluffy 
    - A cute little QUIET thing 
  • They’d have their own little at home book club, just the three of them. 

Jumin Han

  • Er…what? 
  • “How am I supposed to devote all my attention on you then, Zack?” 
  • I think Jumin might have the same mindset as me where I think “Ah…but they are a big responsibilty and I’m a jerk and am really selfish and want all the attention on me” <- that’s my thought process not his okay? 
    -I know, I’m selfish
  • Eventually they would adopt one child (girl or boy) after five more years of just them
  • This comic by( @myetie follow her, I recommend to at least, she’s really good) would be the eventual outcome
  • Still he’d love his child like they were the moon and sun. 
  • Best school
  • Best college
  • Best clothing
  • Best food
  • Everything he does is for the kid and his husband. 
  • They’d play chess together
  • They’d read together

707

  • “My own family!?” 
  • “I’m going to cry!!” 
  • They now run an orphanage. 
  • Okay this is NOT what Zack was expecting but he’s okay with it. 
  • Three of the children in the orphanage (triplets no less) are theirs. 
  • They all enjoy playing with Seven’s toy inventions. 
    - Now with less the fire! 
  • They have a big St. Bernard named Tom
    - Resident dog who loves to play with the children
    - I Love Pet Drama CD anyone? No? Okay :P
  • They teach the kids great skills 
    - No Seven no hacking…
  • Seven loves each child (all 12 of them including the triplets) unconditionally 
  • A HUGE ceremony when one gets adopted.
    -Bigger than a graduation. 
    -Bigger than a college graduation
    -BIGGER THAN A WEDDING! 

V

  • “I…I can’t. Not just yet…”
  • He just can’t
  • He knows Zack wants to but he needs time
  • I’m Sorry That I Love You is cannon in my head okay? 
  • One day, but not now. 
  • And when they do it’s a quiet, soft spoken, talented girl
  • She smiles and his world is renewed with immense joy. 
  • “What did I do to deserve a happy family like this?” 
  • She can draw
  • She is always so quiet but they know she loves them very much
  • She loves drawing still life. 
  • Their walls are covered in her drawings
  • They have a quiet cat named Vera (Apollo Justice Reference) 
    -The cat is gray
    -But she say’s “She’s the most colorful being to me’
    -She loves her with all her heart. 
    -Vera was the first thing she ever drew

Unknown

  • No. 
  • He still has nightmares of Magenta and Paradise
    - Especially if he’s the Unknown from my stories :P
  • He was the one *($)#$()# in the flashbacks with his brother (I don’t want to spoil) 
  • He can’t handle it. 
  • It brings too many bad memories
  • They’re going to live a nice life together, just the two of them
  • Zack understands and he’s not entirely hurt. 
  • Instead he raises a German Shepard 
    - They love it like it’s their kid
    - Not like crazy dog people though
    -So now it’s the three of them
  • He feels bad but he’s grateful Zack understands. 
  • He’s too messed up to be with a kid. 

That was a lot of fun. I hope you like what I put :) thank you so so so much! 
And again! Requests are OPEN :D

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This is pretty political, but it's really important.

This doesn’t have to do with art. Sorry. Also it’s long.

To everyone who told me I “couldn’t judge them” or that I “don’t know them” or that “they seem like really good people” or that you “think it’s working for them,” well, the jig is up, the news is out, and the Duggars’ story is, as expected, one of tragedy, abuse, and neglect.

This is not an isolated incident. This is not unusual. This is not a tragic abnormality. This is not a fluke. This is not a perversion of a beautiful system. This is not an exceptional dysfunction.

To me and many others, this is not a surprise.

For a long time, many have looked at the Duggars and, though recognizing them as odd or anachronistic, have given tacit approval to their lifestyle by not only saying nothing, but by supporting the family’s rise in the public eye. Whether through genuine care or mere curiosity, we have collective pointed to the Duggars and said, “we accept this as a passably happy and healthy lifestyle.” But what some of us always knew and what more are now hopefully seeing is that the lifestyle that these people have chosen leads invariably to heartache and pain that lasts a lifetime.

The Duggars are part of the Quiverfull movements and follow Bill Gothard’s teachings on morality, education, religion, and discipline. This system inherently promotes specific neglect and abuse and opens the door for much more nuanced transgressions to work their way into the family. I won’t give an exhaustive view here, but there a few obvious ones that bear mentioning.

The first is neglect. In a world where families are encouraged to, above all else, “be fruitful and multiply” without regard for resources or circumstances, many parents quickly outnumber themselves, forcing them to rely on elder children, often at a very tender age themselves. While this may sound alright, it quickly becomes a system of passing younger children off onto barely older ones. These older children then function as full-fledged parents, neglected their own education, physical wellbeing,and interests to care for children only barely younger than themselves.

Secondly, education is frequently neglected or twisted in accordance with their beliefs. One of the ugliest things about this movement is that the very nature of education is modified to keep kids and young adults from being capable of leaving it. That’s not speculation or exaggeration; that’s an inherent goal. In some cases – the most successful cases – it seems as though the children in these families are intelligent, well-round students, but what people forget is that if you spend enough time reading enough books, you will sound very smart, but that in no way prepares a person for a world full of living, breathing, changing people. Being unable to understand or relate to people at all – let alone people their own age – means that kids that grow up in this knowledge quarantine
must either stay in the movement forever or spend years unlearning and relearning the differences, mistakes, and outright lies they spent an entire childhood and adolescence learning.

Third, this system teaches complete lack of independence. This is especially true where women and girls are concerned, but it is still a significant detriment to men and boys as well. Every single decision is made, ultimately, by to patriarch of the household, from the clothes on your back down to jobs, education, cars, and spouses. This does not end with childhood, but continues until at least marriage and often beyond. In a world where a 23 year old’s texts are screened by both parents, personal autonomy and responsibility are unknowable concepts.

With each of these problems come severe social and professional handicaps and deep, lasting psychological wounds, and should be enough reason in their own right to condemn this system. The worst thing that comes of this isolation, however, is the crippling isolation that comes from living in such a world that insists that the everyone outside of the microcosm is Untouchable. Relationships, friendships, and even casual associations are forbidden on the grounds that such contact could “influence” and contaminate a mind, making a person susceptible to deviation from the standard. This mindset leads to internalized fear and loathing of others and makes stepping out of the circle incredibly difficult. Add to that the learned behavior of constantly acting and lying to present a positive, unified face of the movement and to hide the abuses at home, and you get a deeply ingrained inability to get close to people at all. Many others things can be learned or relearned, but after spending your formative years learning to keep people at arms’ length, it is nearly impossible to open yourself up to people and have deep, meaningful relationships.

I spent a long time in this movement. People I love spent lifetimes in it. Some are still there. The very nature of it teaches authority figures that it is not only acceptable, but helpful to impose incredible amount of pressure and abuse on subordinates in order to build “faith” and “character.” The very nature of it then teaches victims to hide that abuse with an effectiveness that few systems can manage. The very nature of it sets up not just a family unit, but an entire society that supports, nurtures, and enforces these behaviors. The entire nature of it draws both people who feel the urge to oppress others and people who crave a sense of community and belonging, sucking them all in and intwining them in the most damaging way possible for all parties. It gives bad people power and it convinces good people that abuse is acceptable and even admirable.

Countless lives have been wrecked by this movement. Countless hearts broken, bodies ravaged, souls parched, and minds wasted by this movement. These are not happy families. These are not healthy families. Stop smiling indulgently. Stop watching curiously. Stop tuning in passively. Stop. Just stop. This is a sick, twisted system that does nothing but cause pain to everyone involved. Don’t be a part of it.

The statute of limitations for Josh Duggar’s crimes has long expired. The only good and healing that can come from this is opening people’s eyes to the horrors of this weird, twisted little world. Hopefully, the kids that want out will find a way out and, hopefully, TLC and their viewers will stop funding this blatant abuse. But justice for these girls, like so many before them and so many to come, will never be served because the Duggars and their cohorts covered up the molestation of their own daughters to avoid the public shame it might bring to them and their movement.

I know what I’m talking about because dear friends were married off to people they barely knew before they had their GED. I know what I’m talking about because a girl I saw every week killed herself because she couldn’t handle the responsibility of raising her siblings. I know what I’m talking about because so many girls I knew were molested and no one said anything. I know what I’m talking about because I was too afraid to speak up. I know what I’m talking about because I learned to be a skillful liar. I know what I’m talking about because I am incapable of fully trusting people, because my brain tells me that everyone had to learn the same skills I did.

I know what I’m talking about because I lived it.

Please do not support the Duggars. Please do not make excuses for the Duggars. Please do not think that the Duggars are an isolated incident. Please do not believe that the Duggars are an exception to the rule.

I know what I’m talking about because this was my world. And it was hell.