my emotions are taking over

Writing Series #8: How do you stay invested?

What I hear most often from writers switching from short fiction to novels is: how do you stay invested for the long haul? How do you care about the same story for the time it takes to finish an entire book?

As someone who began with novel writing and never really mastered the art of the short story, I’ve always had the opposite question (how do you keep it to a minimum? how do you condense your ideas into just a few pages). But this doesn’t mean I’ve never had that age old book commitment problem. Even the best stories can drift away from us, and even the most dedicated writers will experience the occasional hiccup in their writing schedule. Too much time away–whether it be a busy schedule, a new child, an illness, or just general lack of inspiration–it can make coming back to the book after a writing drought seem impossible. You sit down in front of your story, see these words so old you hardly remember writing them in the first place, and think, how can I possibly keep going? 

Coming back to an old story can feel a lot like a high school reunion: bumping into people you once knew so well but who have now become strangers, and now you hardly know to strike up a conversation. But just like a reunion, you have two choices: runaway and give up on the relationship for good, or force the smalltalk until you break into something real. If you’re lucky, by the end of the night, you can be laughing and having a great time, saying it’s like things “never changed at all” before you’re through. A book is the same way. 

Just as we bring up “the good ‘ol times” in conversations, it’s important to revisit what made you write the book in the first place. Some things that have helped me have included: 

  • Taking notes of my character’s planned emotional and physical arcs over the course of the book. This way if I lose investment or take too much time away and begin to lose that connection to their emotional state, I can return to my notes and see where I wanted them to be and start to understand their state of mind again and their purpose in my story. 
  • Take notes of your planned plot or, if you’re not a structured planner, some things you hope to happen in the story or directions you might like it to go. This will be your road map later if you get lost along the way. 
  • Make a playlist (or other art form, if you’re a painter, poet, etc.) that reminds you of your story. Listening to these songs later can help you to revisit the mindset you were in while writing and spark that creativity. 
  • Go back and reread some of your older, already written chapters. This can help you to remember what the tone of the story was and how the dialogue was sounding. If you don’t and take a long break in the story, there’s a large chance that your story will end up disjointed with two separate narrative styles and tones that will be jarring for the readers (and yourself as you read it back later). This can also trigger the memory of how it felt to write this story last time and to hopefully help you to continue writing it again. 
  • Practice writing a scene with your character(s) that won’t make it into the book. Jumping right back into the novel can seem daunting at times, so it may help to open a new document and write a random event just for practice on regaining and writing your character. Other useful exercises might include an interview, biography, or sample social media account for your character if applicable. 
  • Just keep writing. Sometimes you have to write something terrible to break through to something good. But don’t worry. The delete button exists for a reason, and the editing process will be a lifesaver down the line. 

To all the writers out there: how do you keep yourself focused and interested during the course of writing a novel? Do you have any tips for maintaining writing momentum?

Feel free to add to this post or submit your own advice to share with your fellow writers at ancwritingresources.tumblr.com

i just really love the idea of shiro and keith being thrown together by the universe, like no matter what happens, they’ll find each other in the end? somehow, some force just keeps pushing them back together

like yes, they’ll lose each other, probably multiple times, but they always find each other again

and maybe one day, their luck doesn’t stick and they’ll lose each other for real, but damn it if they won’t fight to stay together, you know?

i love the thought of them being destined to meet each other, but that it was them who made it into the relationship they have now, them who fought to keep it like that, their choice to keep loving each other, even when the universe makes it both easier and harder to stay together in the end.

just give me sheith being thrown together by circumstance (and the universe) and choosing to stay together, even if destiny is also pushing them apart. because choosing to be in love, and to be loved, and to stay in love, even when it’s easier not to be, even when it hurts, that must be really hard.

anonymous asked:

I just thought about what if Jason accidentally fakes his death? Like the batfam thought his still in a warehouse or something when it blew, and his comms destroyed so they can't call him, and he just went to a safe house after to sleep and like he doesn't know until a few weeks later when he shows up at the manor to meet up with Alfred for tea.

would it be better or worse if he wasn’t even really getting along with the rest of the family at that point? either way you play it, jason has a bunch of redundancies for his safe houses, and he was trained just as well as any of them. there has to be at least one or two he’s managed to keep secret from the rest of the bats. 

jay doesn’t really make a habit of carrying explosives in his helmet anymore; that was really more of a one-off when he first came back to gotham. since then, he generally just carries more explosives with him to make up for it. because of that, and because he’s usually fighting standard-grade humans, it’s not all that likely that he tosses his helmet aside in the middle of a fight.

a warehouse blows. red hood was in it, they know that (it all but had “This Is A Trap For Red Hood” written all over it), and when searching it, the bats find the badly burnt remnants of hood’s shattered helmet. no body, but –

it’s easy to assume the worst. it’s already happened once, after all. they hold on to hope for a week, but they haven’t been able to find any sign of jason. he can’t be raised on his comms, he hasn’t been in any of the safe houses that they know of, oracle couldn’t find any sign of him on cameras. 

no sign of him in a hospital or even leslie’s clinic, no body matching his description in the morgue. (that last doesn’t mean anything. no body at the warehouse, but someone had set the trap – they could have easily dumped it somewhere else.)

there’s no sign of him, living or dead, anywhere in the city so far as they can tell.

red hood’s been throwing himself into ever-escalating fights since he came back to gotham, and finally they have to assume that this time, his luck didn’t hold long enough for him to get out. 

the family sinks into some kind of shock. it’s impossible to believe that they lost him again.

it’s not something that can even be explained to the public. how do you explain that you’re in fresh mourning for a son and brother that was declared dead over half a decade ago? 

then again, all the bats are good at hiding how they feel. 

they mourn quietly, but they mourn.

Keep reading

6

- Sarah, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. […] I was so set on trying to find my mom that I let my emotions take over and now I’ve– I’ve put everyone that I care about in danger.
- Chuck, you’re being ridiculous, come on, even for a man who is trying to free himself from high tech explosives. Casey and I know the risks, but of course we’re gonna help you. This is your mom.

Blossoming Love

Originally posted by cuteguk

@xxsimplycutexx asked: Hi! can I request a BTS scenario where y/n kept her pregnancy as a secret from Jungkook but she ended up telling him one morning after feeling nauseous. Jungkook gets mad at y/n for not telling him but make it a happy ending please 😊 

Pairing: Jeongguk x reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: i really hope you enjoy this and thank you so much for requesting! <3 writing this made me so soft ;;;;; thinking about Jeongguk being a soon-to-be father is so endearing!! i will possibly write little drabbles for this in the future :) also much love to @pluviasonnant for spamming me with quotes that helped me in writing this ❤︎


Positive.

Shit.

Two red lines stared back at you like two evil, red eyes, watching how your life was going recently but still decided to curse it more anyways.

Keep reading

You Look At Me Differently-Ubbe Ragnarsson x Reader Part 1

(A/N: And yet another fandom to add to the list 😄. This is just going to be a two part imagine.)


Summary: (Y/N) is a princess who saw her kingdom be destroyed at a very young age. Her father decided that she would be safe growing up with their allies in Kattegat alongside the young princes. Now much older, they face the responsibilities of adulthood, including marriage.

Characters: Ubbe Ragnarsson x Reader, Ragnarsson’s x Reader (platonic), Aslaug Sigurdsdottir x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name

Warnings: Swearing


*~*~*~*~*~*


“Ivar, just ignore your brother.” I scolded for the millionth time that day.

As usual Sigurd and Ivar were at each other’s throats, not literally this time, and it was I who always had to calm them down.

“Yes Ivar, listen to (Y/N). You always do what she says.” Sigurd teased.

“You as well Sigurd! Both of you just shut up and get on with your training.”

They stared each other down before going their separate ways; Ivar practicing his axe throwing as Sigurd battled with his other brother Hvitserk. Sighing, I picked up my recently forgotten bow, wanting to return to my own training.

“You’ve always been able to settle their arguments. You’ll have to teach me your ways.” I heard Ubbe say, turning to face him.

I had grown up very closely to these boys. My kingdom was attacked, almost destroyed when I was very young, my father deciding that it would be in my best interests to grow up somewhere that was not in ruins. Our neighbouring village was Kattegat, a very strong, noble and popular place. We were good friends with them so it was no surprise that they took me in. Father attended to his own kingdom, trying to fix all of the problems whilst I led a happy life here. He would come visit me whenever he could, never forgetting me. Aslaug became the mother I never had, treating me as her own though always reminding me that the boys were never my brothers, a strange thing to keep in enforcing, even to this day.

“Must be the charm of a woman.” I giggled as I approached him.

“Must be.” he smirked, pulling on the string of his bow.

I watched as he released the arrow, flying straight into the dead deer’s eye. Ubbe and I had always been close, perhaps because we were near each other in age and were more responsible overthis brothers. I was glad that I didn’t have to look at him as a brother; all of the boys had grown to be handsome men but Ubbe was special to me. Although I missed my home I could never imagine myself living anywhere else besides Kattegat.

“Did you hear what mother said this morning?” Hvitserk asked as he and Sigurd took a break from training.

Everyone shook their heads.

“She wants us all at dinner tonight, says that she has an important announcement.”

“Do you know what it is?” Ivar questioned, casually twirling the ace in his hand.

“If it was so important she could have told us earlier.” Ubbe suddenly snapped.

I was surprised by his tone of voice.“What’s wrong with you?”

Sigurd chuckled.“He’s got a scheduled fucking with his woman tonight.”

“Sneaking off again Ubbe?” Hvitserk smirked.

“Woman? What woman?” I was confused.

“This woman we are talking about has a name, Magrethe.” Ubbe pointed out.

“She is a slave girl, it does not matter if she has a name or not.” Ivar sneered.

“Well then perhaps I should free her.” Ubbe mocked, preparing his bow again.

Hvitserk sighed comicly.“Well I am sorry brother, Magrethe will have to wait another day.”

The conversation ended there. Jealousy started to encircle my mind. I always knew nothing would happen between us, even though we were taught to never think of each other as blood related, he probably saw me as a sister. The way he spoke about her, his tone of voice, it seemed as if he cared, she wasn’t just a woman he was sleeping with.

I tried to not talk in spite.“You never told me about her.”

Ubbe furrowed his eyebrows.“And why would I tell you?”


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Dinner arrived sooner than expected. I had left training early, claiming that I wanted to start preparing for that night. I had sat in a bath tub for over an hour, letting my fingers wrinkle as I thought about Ubbe fucking a slave girl. He had suggested freeing her, was he serious? He wasn’t in love with her was he? I had never seen this girl before but I bet that she was beautiful and charming. I may have been a princess but that didn’t matter to Ubbe.

After bathing for longer than needs be, my servant helped me to dress and braided my hair. She commented on how quiet I was, not my usual talkative self, though I made up the excuse that I was tired from the training. She didn’t question me further.

Surprisingly I was the second one to arrive to the table. Hvitserk was usually following behind his mother, he loved food too much. Aslaug greeted my with a hug along with a kiss to the cheek, nothing out of the ordinary. We dabbled in small talk, waiting for the others. She seemed overly cheery and I wondered if this has anything to do with this announcement. I remember when Ragnar was here, she was happier than now. Once he abandoned her and his sons, she fell into a depressive state until I came along; maybe I was the change she needed, something to focus on.

Ivar was next to join, Hvitserk and Sigurd a few minutes after. Ubbe was no where to be found and I feared that he was with that slave girl. It must have only been ten or so minutes later that he came, looking flustered with some of his clothing not on properly. It wasn’t hard to guess where he had previously been.

Although everyone was anxious to know what Aslaug has to say, no one questioned her. She was waiting till the end of our dinner, acting normal throughout. We all tried to forget, thinking it was a regular meal. Ubbe was unusually quiet, not participating in any conversation. I saw the way his hair was touseled, some recent love marks peeking out from under his collar. It broke my heart a little. It was when the servants took away our last plates did Aslaug speak up.

“I wanted us all together tonight as I have something very important to say.” she started, grabbing everyone’s attention.“You are all coming to the age where you should either already be married or start to think about it. And sometimes, marriage is not just about binding two hearts together but two kingdoms.”

Where was she going with this?

She was smiling ear to ear.“Which is why (Y/N)’s father and I have decided that she and Ubbe will be married.”

There was complete silence at the table. No one was drinking, moving and it was as if no one was breathing. I didn’t dare look at Ubbe, there was no telling how he would react. My mouth was agape, unsure of how to react. Yes, I thought that I was falling for Ubbe but this was a whole other thing; this was marriage!

“No.” was all I heard from him.

“No? Ubbe you cannot disagree, it is arranged.” his mother argued.

His words were stern.“I will not marry (Y/N), I am in love with someone else.”

That hurt.

“You do not have to love her. Marriage isn’t all about that.” she shrugged.

That hurt too.

“Do neither of us have a say? Are we not allowed to speak for ourselves?”

“Not in this desicion.”

Ubbe leapt to his feet causing the chair to fly back. He stormed out of the room, throwing his cup angrily at the wall. I flinched at this, still in shock. No words were spoken for a couple of minutes until I excused myself. This was too much. It was no surprise to me that Ubbe was in love with another, but hearing those words made it seem all too real. As I picked up my skirts to run away from all this, I spotted two figures embracing in an alleyway. It was obvious who they were, Ubbe and that slave girl, trying to work out what they were going to do. I had been staring for too long as they both noticed me.

She was beautiful. She had long, platinum blonde hair, her face was small and dainty with soft features with a slim figure. If she was dressed in finer clothes you wouldn’t have guessed she was a slave. I couldn’t bare to look any longer, rushing away from them.

It had been hours since Aslaug told us of the engagement. I had fled to the cabin owned by the prince’s just outside of Kattegat, wanting to be away from everyone. My heart had ached and my eyes were aching from the floods of tears spilling out. He didn’t want me, I couldn’t have him. He would rather run away with a slave girl. As I tried to take control over my emotions, the door rattled open, causing me to jump from my seat in front of the fire.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone.” Ubbe stated as he walked in.

I ignored him, sitting back down. I had lost the blanket previously wrapped around me after being startled but before I could pick it up again, Ubbe beat me to it. It was like he had stung me, I tried to not flinch. He sat beside me, pulling his furs closer.

“You did not need to be so harsh with your words.” I mumbled.

“I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. But I had to say them.” he answered, not looking at me.

I scoffed, but caring about manners anymore.“She’s a slave girl that has probably slept with most of the men here. Why do you want her?”

Ubbe whipped his head around to face me.“That is not true! Do not speak of her in that way.”

“I will speak however I want, it’s not like I’ll have a husband anytime soon to keep me in my place.”

Ubbe kept his eyes on me for a moment before looking back at the fire. Reaching over to the table, I took the jug of ale, pouring myself a large cup; I chugged it back, knowing that the memories would come back when dawn broke but for now they could disappear.

“Don’t do that. Please don’t resort to that.” Ubbe quietly begged.

“I want you to leave.” I demanded as I stood.

“This is my cabin. You leave.”

“I am not going back. Not yet, I’ll be humiliated.”

“Is that all you care about? Don’t you want to find someone you love to settle with?”

What an ironic question. How was I supposed to answer that? Ubbe would never accept the proposal, he would either find a way around it or end up running away with the girl. Wait, this was Ubbe, son of Ragnar, he couldn’t leave, he wouldn’t. But there was no doubt that he wouldn’t look at me the way I wanted him to.

“You don’t understand. You’re a man, you won’t have the pitiful stares thrown at you as you walk the streets.”

“People will understand-”

I raised my voice.“Exactly! They’ll see how a slave girl overthrew a princess and think that I am not fit to receive love from someone who has the same ranking as me.”

“I cannot change how I feel.”

“Neither can I Ubbe!” I collapsed onto the bed.“Neither can I.”

“(Y/N), you do not mean…”

I turned on my side so I wouldn’t have to look at him.“Yes Ubbe, I care about you. And not as a sister or a friend, much more than that. I was was stupid to believe that we could be anything.”

I was expecting him to say something, something along the lines of a rejection. Instead I was met with the sound of the door slamming shut again. Ubbe had left, Ubbe was leaving me.

don’t go where i can’t follow (lukas x reader)

ask: lukas anon: “this is the lukas anon!! please go all out with the angst i live for it. but maybe his s/o got super injured on the battle field protecting him from an enemy he didn’t notice. and it doesn’t matter if you end it with his s/o living with a cute fluffy ending or a angst dying, i’ll leave that up to you. i hope this is specific enough.”

a/n: this was hard to decide for the ending bc i wanna make lukas suffer but not too much ya feel?

warnings: angst n mentions of death (no one dies fr i promise) (word count: 778) got a lil carried away w this one aha

   Wiping the sweat off your forehead, you take down another bow knight, trying to carve a path so the mages could get through to the armored units.

   That’s when you see Lukas, calling to Silque for her to come heal him. You know what your objective is, but you know that the mages on your team are strong enough to beat a few more bow knights, so you abandon your mission and rush over to help Lukas.

Keep reading

Joining The Family - Happy Imagine

Imagine throwing your first family dinner at your house and stressing at about it. Happy assures you that ever thing is going to be great.

—————————————

I pull my hair into a ponytail a loud sigh escaping me as I look at all the food siting in front of me. The pressure was starting to build on my shoulders at the thought of cooking all this food on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been cooking all my life and my father owned his own restaurant so naturally I was good at cooking, but the thought of cooking for the club was daunting. Gemma had suggested the idea a few weeks ago after I had gotten Happy’s crow tattooed on me. Getting that done was a huge commitment and meant that I was officially apart of the family, in a way I think that this is Gemma’s idea of testing me, for me to prove that I can hold the responsibilities of an old lady. Right now I was starting to doubt my own abilities at being a good old lady.

“Please god kill me” I say to myself and get startled as I hear my old mans all to familiar voice.

“You doing okay baby?” His voice carried both concern and amusement as he enters the kitchen.

“Oh yea I’m fantastic feeling really great about cooking for the entire club” The sarcasm dripped from my voice so obviously that you would have to be stupid not to notice it. The look of concern left Hap’s face so all that was left was amusement which earned him a hard glare.

“You’re stressing” He stated simply making his way towards me at a slow pace.

“Stating the obvious much! I mean I’m cooking for everyone, not two or three, everyone! What if I mess up then everyone’s going to know! Oh my god what if I mess up and with Gemma there oh my god I would be a joke and-” My panicked rant was cut short as Happy took my face into his hands and brought my eyes up to meet his brown ones.

“Relajar niña - relax baby girl ” He says and tingles shoot through my whole body as he speaks in Spanish. Happy only does this when he’s tired or when he just comes back from his Moms where he had just happened to come home from right now. “todo va a estar bien. Vas a hacer grandes como siempre lo eres - everything is going to be alright. You are going to do great just like you always are” I smile at his words before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his lips, pulling back I give him a loving look, the panic I felt decreased, panic over … hopefully.

“gracias mi amor - thank you my love” I say softly turning around taking another look at the challenge in front of me “ Siempre sabes que decir - you always know what to say” Happys hands grip my waist and his chin rests on top of my head.

“Because I know you baby, like the back of my hand” after this he gives you a brief kiss on the neck before giving your hips another squeeze and walking off to somewhere in the house. Most likely the garage to work on an old bike of his.

“You can do this” is the self motivation you come up with, although not much, it seemed to do the trick because before your mind had caught up with your body your hands where chopping, slicing and dicing without your consent and suddenly you felt right at home. For the rest of the day you didn’t stop moving, always checking temperatures, making sure things where cooking, adding extra ingredients. You wanted it perfect and you couldn’t mess up, not today. By the time everything was done and dusted Happy waltzed into the kitchen in a changed pair of clothes but still the Kutte hung from his body.

“I told you babe, you’re the best cook I know” he smiled as you wrapped your arms around one another “but don’t tell Gemma I said that, she’ll kick my ass”

“She so would” you can’t help but tease as you laugh and Happy smirks

“You think so?” He teases and you can tell by the sound of his voice that he’s in a playful mood which usually only leads to one thing.

“Down big boy, everyone will be here in an hour and I still need to get ready” you laugh at his pouting expression as he growls in protest. “Patience baby, wait till everyone’s gone and we’ll have some fun” you purr in his ear before pulling yourself away from his body.

“You better keep that promise baby girl” Happy shouts as you reach the second floor of your house.

“You’ll just have to wait and see”

_________________________________________

You could hear the murmur of voices from upstairs in both yours and Happy’s room. Butterflies suddenly flooded your stomach as you made you way down stairs. You haven’t gotten too dressed up, just some heels and a nice top plus the jeans that Happy loved. Walking into the kitchen you stop in your tracks. Gemma stood over the stove with a judging gleam in her eyes, whether it was the good judgement or the bad you couldn’t tell but you had a feeling that you where going to find out.

“Hey Gemma” you greet as you walk further into the kitchen, she turned to you, giving her signature smirk.

“Hey baby” she says, her voice light and welcoming but you knew not to take that for granted. You move towards the stove making sure the pasta was cooking correctly, which it was, making you sigh in relief. “Look sweetheart Happy told me” you look to her in confusion.

“Happy told you what?” The genuine confusing you feel coming across in your voice.

“About how you where stressed out today cooking this dinner, thinkin that I was gonna bitch slap you or some shit if you got it wrong” she says with slight humour in her voice and I watch her carefully.

“But it’s a big deal and it’s like a right of passage type thing that I had to get right and if I didn’t do it right then something would-” she cut me off after a short time my rambling which I was grateful for knowing that I would have only continued.

“Y/N” she says seriously “if I didn’t like you, you’d know about it, trust me sweetie. As for the dinner I thought it’d be good for you to get used to cooking for a big family. I mean I can’t speak for you but I know that Happy wants a load of kids and if you include his Mom coming round and his aunt, honey your gonna have a lot on your plate” relief washed over me as she says this. A smile forms on hers while she watches me realising that this isn’t a test.

“I’m sorry I got myself all worked up over nothing, I tend to do that” I admit while walking over to the pot and taking it of of the stove.

“It’s okay baby, you’re lucky I actually like you or else I would have gotten the wrong idea” Gemma laughs before starting to get off back to the dining room.

“Hey Gem?” She turns back waiting for my question “he wants a lot of kids?” The cheesy smile on my face is inevitable as Gemma shakes her head in amusement.

“Form what I’m hearing your gonna have enough to fill a god damn school” Gemma’s face before more soft and her body language changes completely “he wants your kids, don’t let him tell you any different”

____________________________________

By the time everyone had left Happy had taken it upon himself to rip my clothes from my body and have his way with me, very roughly and very sensually. We lay panting side by side the blankets spread over our naked bodies. My head resting against his chest with his arm around my small frame. The conversation I had with Gemma still sat in the back boiler of my brain as Happy’s fingers trailed lightly up and down my bare arm.

“te amo bebé - i love you baby girl” Happy’s voice rumbles into my ear thick with sleep and want, as his arms tightened around me.

“Y te amo mi amor - and I love you my love” it was silent for a while as we got comfortable and ready to sleep but I couldn’t shake what Gemma had said to me. “I spoke with Gemma tonight” he grunted in acknowledgment his face buried into my neck. “She said something to me that I can’t get off my mind”

“And what’s that?”

“Apparently you want me to have your babies” he temporarily stops breathing but recovers quickly as he comes up to lean on his arm next to my head.

“I never said that! That’s-”

“Completely true” I say cutting him off with humour in my voice as I do so. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s having a mental debate in his head, probably on whether to tell the truth or not. I decide to help him out. “Look I know we haven’t spoken about this yet and we are still newly together - hell we haven’t even spoken about our future together - but I want you to know that I really want to have your kids one day…and I think you would be an amazing father” the emotion that appears in his eyes is almost too intense that I have to look away.

“You are the first women that I’ve dated that my mom considers family. That’s serious shit for me, so I’m not planning on letting you go anytime soon and neither is my Mom” I laugh at this because I considered his mom to be family as well “and she is expecting a lot of grandchildren and I plan to give them to her - I hope that I don’t fuck up so bad that you realise you’re too good for me because I really want you to be the mother to my children”

“Aw Happy” you can’t help my pull him into your body as the emotion over takes you and you can’t help but feel as though for the first time in a long time, you where apart of a family.

( sorry not my best, this is just a quick one from a few months ago )

Happy tag:

@sarcastic-lunatic @lolsthecat @redwoodog @soafanficluvr1@fortheloveofthesoa @one-charming-life @khyharah@samcrolivesforever @redwoodog @calumonoxide@ineedthesons @chaosmieu @thegoodthebadandtheempty @soaoriginal @jade770 @supernaturalanarchy

Dear You,

It’s been 4 months since we have spoken and a lot has happened since we decided to part ways. I cut all of my hair off. I stopped singing in the shower and every time I hear an Ed Sheeran song it breaks my heart a little more than usual. Sometimes I still wear the clothes you left behind and I’m even tempted to snap you “by accident” when my dog does something funny. He’s still a little shit by the way. Sometimes looking at him reminds me of you. The passenger seat of my car feels empty, I can’t look at my couch the same way. When I drive through really dark places I slow down my driving a little, and when someone speeds by I smile because that’s what you would do. Your books are mixed in with mine on my shelves. I thought about returning them and asking for mine in return but I’m glad you have something of mine. I hope you look at the things I gave you and you think of me (I know I do). I try to avoid driving on Sylvan because I’ll be tempted to go see your mom and how she’s doing. Sometimes I miss spending time with your family, please say hello to them for me? I’m sorry things between us didn’t work out. If I had known then all of the things I know now this wouldn’t have happened. When people ask why we broke up I laugh and say that you dumped me, at which point they’re all amazed and ask why. Life happens, we were thousands of miles away trying to make 2 completely different lifestyles work. A part of me feels like you gave up on us. A part of me knows it was the best decision for both of us. I have grown a lot. I spend a lot of time alone and it’s helped me deal with my emotional problems. We made the right decision. It hurts but it’s the truth. I am sorry if you needed me as a friend these past few months. I know I needed you, but the decision of not speaking to you again was mine and I stand by it. We are both messy people and when my emotions take over well you already know the disasters that leads to. I realized last week that I talk about you a lot. It’s a habit i’m trying to break but I find that talking about you makes you more real, and helps me be okay. Most weeks I wonder how you are and where you are. I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re happy or at least not depressed. I have to confess that a few weeks ago I thought I was fine with us being done, and then I got sad. I haven’t cried in a long time, but I think the sadness that settles in my chest is so much worse. I still write sometimes (clearly), mostly about you. I also decided to make an OkCupid to try and meet new guys and put you behind me. That was a failed attempt, I was looking for what we had in the wrong place with the wrong people. What we had was one of a kind, you are one of a kind. You taught me so much and impacted my life in many ways. I hope I did the same for you, I hope I taught you at least something positive. I still pray for you every morning when I get in the car, I pray for your family as well. I miss talking to you. I miss skype dates and snapchats. I miss texting you stupid memes. But the one thing I miss the most is being yours and you being mine. I really did love you, I was in love with you. I was crazy about you. I hope you realize that. A part of me will always be yours, and will always love you. I hope one day our paths cross, maybe we will be friends? I hope you find a girl who makes your head spin and challenges you, pushes you to be better, I hope she loves you and takes care of you. I hope you love her unconditionally and that she makes you happy. I wish you the best of luck with everything. You deserve to be happy, you deserve the sun and the stars.

Love,
Me

—  A Letter to the love of my life - Wrote this last summer and am now brave enough to post
Happy. Happy?: Part 4

Part 3

Tagging:

@angelicvipbeauty @llowkeys @mimicthephoenix @fan-fiction-galore @ashleyvc88 @ilovesamizaynn @gelinas22 @helluvawriter @lady-laura-speaks @thedeboniardevistation @bebbyt @oreillyskyle @wrestlingnoob @heelturn-timesten @iloveenzoamore @theelitevillian @sailoralderaan @caramara3


Originally posted by thearchitectwwe

In my 22 years of life I cannot recall a time where my parents did not fight. It was a constant heartache and I learned from a young age that “love” is not what movies made it seem. While my parents continue to stay together I can see the unhappiness in their eyes. They fell out of love a long time ago but stayed together because all they knew was each other.

As I got older I made a promise to myself to never be like my parents. I don’t want to be in a relationship where one person is happy and the other is suffering. The look in Tyler’s eyes when he saw Toni was agonizing. I couldn’t determine what hurt the must the ache in my head or the burn I felt in my chest.

Keep reading

My Abortion Story

I was 16 and scared. My whole life I’d always told myself that I would never have an abortion and that I was somehow “better” than those who had. My life was turned completely upside down because I just didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t do this alone and the only one who new was my significant other. The stress and emotional pain of feeling like my life was over lead me to taking an attempt at my life. I was in hospital for 2 weeks and had one of the worst doctors I’ve ever met tell me that I should keep the baby and put pressure on me to do so (even going so far as to make me tell my mother in a meeting so I could actually leave the hospital). After all of this I finally was able to leave and make an appointment to go to a clinic out of town. On the day of my surgery I was brought to a hospital where outside I could see a small group of protesters. I came to find out they had no idea where the clinic was and that unlike the movies no one would attack me as I went through the doors. Finally I was in the clinic and hooked up to an IV and administered pain killers. The surgery was explained to me and they told me I shouldn’t feel any pain. All that they really did was take a special vacuum and clean out my uterus. Afterwards I cried and laughed and was very dopey for the next 24 hours.
I’m glad I got my abortion because now I’m about to go to college and start my career. I’m going to have the life I never could of had with a child and I want to send out my support to all those who are scared or worried because of stigma. I’m here 100% and my asks are always open for those just wanting to learn or in need of support.

Emotional (D.L.)

I didn’t even know what time it was when we decided we’d go inside and make ourselves comfortable to go to sleep. This house party at Dereks place had been going on for hours, and let’s just say, we were pretty wasted. I wasn’t drunk to the point where I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was drunk enough to be talkative and fun and just giggly. 

When we, and by we I mean Derek, KDL, Tyler and his girlfriend, reached the living room, the couple immediately took the couch and made themselves at home, clearly ready to call it a day. Me on the other hand, I wasn’t really in the mood for sleeping yet. We were having so much fun and I just didn’t want the night to end too soon. I just kind of got to know them all, over Derek, I may add. Derek, who I have been seeing and talking to for about two weeks. By seeing I mean that we only had one sort of date yet; we went to Venice spontaneously and got food afterwards. You could say we were intrigued with each other, we talked and texted a lot and it was obvious that we had some sort of connection. 

Keep reading

Who cares? ( Reader X Jughead

Reader X jughead

Request: Yes

Summery: you’re waiting for your acceptance for advanced choir but don’t make it and your boyfriend Jughead cheers you up♥️

Warning: None

A/N: to anyone who ever wants to achieve something but someone told you no. YOU DON’T STOP! YOU CONTINUE LIKE THE WARRIOR THAT YOU ARE AND PROVE EVERYONE WRONG
P.s. Sorry for any spelling mistakes. Hopefully there’s none.

——

Today was the day when they would announce who was accepted into advanced choir. To say I was excited and nervous was expected. It was break time and I sat along my group of friends Archie, Betty, Veronica, Kevin and my boyfriend Jughead.

“ So Y/N, do you think you got accepted?” Veronica asks.

Before you could even answer, jughead speaks up. “ of course she’s getting in, only an idiot would not put Y/N in.”

I laugh and shove Jughead to the side, “ don’t go jinxing it for me Juggie. And to answer your question Veronica,hopefully I do get in, if I don’t I think I might just cry myself an ocean.”

The whole group laughs and move onto another topic.

Once the break was over, I walk around the hallway to my locker to receive my books for my next period. As I walk by I notice the announcement board is still empty with no paper of Advanced choir acceptance list. The stressful feeling and doubt start to take over as I continue to walk to my next class. For majority of the lesson, I zoned out as I continued to think if I got accepted..
I mean, singing is all I want to do and I know I’m not bad at it. But that small doubt that haunts me tells me otherwise. Halfway through class I receive a text from Jughead.

Juggie: what do you say, pop’s after school?

I text trying not to get caught by my teacher a small reply.

Y/N: sure, now go back to listening to your teacher. :)

Juggie: Y/N I have you know I’m smart and don’t need to listen to my teacher. Anyway; bye Y/N, love you. :) :)
I shut my phone off after that text and try my best to listen to whatever is left of the lesson.

It’s finally the end of the day and I notice that the announcement board is crowded by students, the applicants of the advanced choir to be exact. I shove my way through the crowd and pray that I was accepted. Once I reach the front, my eyes can the paper as I look for Y/N Y/L/N. my eyes reach to the bottom of the page and I notice that I don’t find my name, I rescan the paper in hope that I possibly missed it but my name isn’t there.
I feel like my heart, goals and dreams were just ripped out of me and crushed into a million pieces.

How, was all I could think… I know I nailed my audition and that I sound better than some of the students that were accepted. I quickly walk away from the board with tears in my eyes as I fast walk back home. Once I reach home, I pass my parents without saying hello and run upstairs to my room. I sob my eyes out as I let all my emotions take over. Time passes by and I’ve stopped crying because I’ve cried all my tears out.
3 minutes later I hear my door opening, when I look up I see Jughead with a bag of take out.

“ Y/N why didn’t you co.. Y/N are you crying? “

Realization hits me as I remember that I had a date with Jughead and I completely forgot.

“O-oh my gosh, Jughead I’m so s-orry! I completely forgot.” I choke on my words as I realize I started to cry now out of guilt.

I feel the left side of my bed dip as jughead comes close and engulfs me me in his arms. “ shhh,Y/N I don’t care about you ditching me, why are you crying? Tell me what’s wrong, who made you cry?”

“ Juggie I wasn’t accepted, I don’t understand. I know I didn’t do bad! Hell I sound better than some of the people that got accepted. I feel like I’ve failed myself and that I’m not good enough to achieve my goals. It’s like the one thing I’m actually good at, I can’t even make it in my own school choir! How will I even become a great singer in the future? “ I start to cry in jughead arms after finishing my speech.

“ Do you know who you are, you’re Y/N Y/L/N. the best singer that I know,and who needs this stupid choir? They don’t know what music and an amazing voice sounds like. The only thing you’re good at, Y/N you are amazing! You’re great at singing, making people happy, helping others,you’re smart ,and most importantly being the most accepting person that I’ve ever come to know. So who cares, you didn’t make it in but I’m sure that one day your name will be on billboards and I’ll be there rooting for you. Now turn that frown upside down because I’m feeling awkward right now and I want my beautiful girlfriend to smile. Oh and I got us some food from pop’s “ Jughead speaks as he hugs me tighter and plants kisses on my forehead.

“ I love you Jughead jones the third”

“ As I love you Y/N Y/L/N .”

2

It’s my own name I’m afraid of forgetting.
Your true name is written here,” she said tapping his chest. “Tattooed on your heart. You don’t let just anyone read it.
He shifted uncomfortably. “I know.

__________________________________________________________

I want you to know my name,” he said. “The name I was given, not the title I took for myself. Will you have it, Alina?” […]
Yes,” I breathed.
After a long moment, he said, “Aleksander.” […]
His smile deepened and he cocked his head to the side. It almost hurt to see him this way. “Will you say it?” he asked.
I hesitated, feeling danger crowd in on me.
Aleksander,” I whispered.
His grin faded, and his gray eyes seemed to flicker.
Again,” he said.

(Leigh Bardugo, Ruin and Rising)