all i gave you is gone

(gif is mine)

part 4/? (part one, two, three)

warnings: i’m so bad at wording these but there’s swearing, kissing, sexual advances…..yeah

summary: the reader and Robbie find themselves in an alternate land, in which they have taken over the bodies of their alter egos.

After however much time had passed since the Pan situation in the treehouse - you still couldn’t keep track of it - things only got worse. Robbie had been becoming more and more of Pan and he wasn’t just pushing Robbie aside, he was erasing his mind just so that he could become Pan. You were doing better than Robbie was. You had your moments, of course, but you had been staying away from Robbie. After the treehouse incident, you knew exactly what he was capable of doing to you.

Things around the camp were getting awkward for you and Robbie. Nobody else noticed it of course, because they already assumed that you hated each other. To them it was normal for you to stop laughing when he came around and only listen to the orders that he gave you. You just had to play along with it, and have hope you don’t get sucked in like Robbie.

The day was over for you and the lost boys, despite it still being bright out. Pan had sent all of you to your tents, claiming that you all needed to get some rest before your party the next night. You weren’t tired, but you climbed under your covers and appreciated the peace and quiet that you never seemed to get. The lost boys were nice, but they were more energetic than you could ever be.

“How long are you going to avoid me for, Y/N?” Robbie groaned as you heard him storm into your tent. “This can’t go on forever.”

You noticed how upset he sounded, but still ignored him and stayed staring at the roof of the tent. It was tough ignoring your best friend, but you didn’t want risk yourself getting sucked in again. You also knew it was selfish because even though he never said it, you were his anchor. You avoiding Robbie was not helping his situation in the slightest.

He silently edged his way over to your bed, trying not to disturb you as he did so. Despite how stressed his body was over everything going on in his head, he missed his best friend.

“Pan, listen, I don’t want you in here,” you said abruptly. “I’m trying to rest. You told us to get rest.

His eyes narrowed at you. “Why do you keep calling me that? You know I’m not him.”

You pushed yourself up so that you were facing Robbie, and frustratedly ran your fingers through your hair. 

“Fuck, Pan, of course I know that! But you don’t seem to,” you cried. “I’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve barged in here claiming you’re Robbie, and left me here knowing that it’s all lies. I can’t do anything about it anymore. So if this is a joke again, it’s not funny.”

“We’ll figure this out, Y/N. I promise.”

Robbie reached out and wrapped his hand around yours. He used his other one to tilt your chin up to look at him. The look in your eyes was full of despair. Yours and Robbie’s eyes were locked, but you were still looking right through him. You didn’t know who you were looking at anymore. 

He crawled over and climbed under the covers of your bed with you. The second his fingers touched you, your breathing hitched and your body stiffened. You stayed silent as he pulled you close to his chest and wrapped his arms securely around you. Even though you were absolutely terrified at first, you knew that this was Robbie comforting you. His touch was gentle and warm - nothing like anything Pan had ever tried to do to you. Pan was gentle, but not like this.

The two of you stayed latched to each other in silence for awhile. He wanted you to feel safe, or so he claimed to you, while he ran his fingers through your hair. His hot breath blew softly against your neck routinely every few seconds. Your body eventually loosened up again, but he kept you close to him. It had been a stressful time for both of you on this island. Robbie got next to no rest and you were always going around with the lost boys, so this was a treat for the both of you.

“Are you okay now, Y/N?”

“I’m okay,” you told him, but weren’t entirely okay. Not after everything that been happening around here. You missed home, but you let go of that hope a long time ago.

“Good,” you could almost feel him smirking behind you. “I must really be figuring this whole Robbie thing out, then.”

The second you heard his voice deepen, you pushed yourself away from him. Unfortunately, he was both stronger and faster than you and was able to pull you back into his tight embrace.

“Why?” you pleaded, your voice quavering as you spoke each word.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against your ear. “I want to watch you fall apart,” he threatened. “I want you to watch your friend crash and burn. I want you to see me win.”

“Oh, and we both know how weak you get around me, love,” he simpered, looking pleased with himself. “But it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

You hated that he was right. All you wanted to do was disagree with him and fight back, but you couldn’t. You wanted his lips against your neck. This was exactly why you spent so much time away from him, because you knew he would taunt you like he always did. You fought so hard to stay away from him every time he did this, and you always succeeded.

Maybe giving in once wouldn’t be too bad.

He grabbed your waist and pulled himself over you, and you watched how he looked down at you with lust filled eyes. He let out a dark chuckle before pressing hot kisses to your neck, sucking gently after each one. You softly moaned at the simple touch of his skin to yours, and he thrived from that. He loved how he could make you putty in his hands just from a simple hickey or two.

You could feel your mind slipping away from you once more, but your body refused to do anything in response to it. You were too far into a state of bliss that Pan had placed you in. Suddenly, you remembered why you had not given in all those other times he had approached you. It was because of this. You were your own anchor, and he was using it against you. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, then crashed his lips into yours. 

He stopped suddenly and pressed your foreheads together. You looked up and really looked at him for the first time. His eyes had darkened - surely he had been pleased by how powerful he was compared to you. At that moment in particular, he hung effortlessly above you, biting his own bottom lip as he stared back at you. One part of you hated every last bit of him and the other half of you wanted every last bit of him.

He waved a hand over your body, and pulled away abruptly. Normally, this would knock you out of your bliss, but everything still felt so foggy. Next, you looked beside you and saw him propping himself up next to you with one hand, and the other began to trace your spine.

“Now, love,” he started, sounding far away. “I could let you go, but leaving you in this bliss will be better. Too weak to break away from my hold, just like your little friend. He’ll crash and burn, I promise you.”

“What about me? What did you do?” you called out, your voice weak.

“Don’t worry, darling,” he brought a finger to your face and traced down your jawline. “You won’t slip away like he will. Watching him fade while you’re nothing but helpless will be even more painful. I want to watch you suffer, and well, leaving you with the pain of losing your best friend and the pain of being a lost girl is more suffering than you can take. You’ll destroy yourself.”

You heard him chuckle one last time before he got up from your bed and began to exit your tent. All you could do next was cry into your pillow. You were too weak to get up and try to wake Robbie back up, if he were even still in that mind somewhere. Nothing you could do now would be worth anything anyway. You knew that Pan had control on how far you could go with anything, and he certainly was not going to allow you to get Robbie back.

It’s like Pan said to you. You had to watch him crash and burn. And he was right; watching him without being able to help was a worse punishment than fading away with him.

“Robbie, all I wished for every night was for us to go somewhere that we would be happy. I just wanted us to be happy,” you called out to Pan. You watched as he stopped in his tracks to turn back around and look at you.

“You were the one that dragged us into this mess, if you would have been there for me that night at the dance, we wouldn’t be here,” he objected. “I think I like this place better though. At least here, I run the show. I get to make you crash and burn, just like you did to me.