my ears ;;

4

best surprise ever: a happy Mark popping on the screen throwing confetti 🎉🎁

anonymous asked:

Are there any birds that eat humans? Where can they be found, and by hat are some things I should know?

Well, not to rain on your parade, but the the first and most important thing you need to know on this subject is that there are no birds that primarily predate on humans. 

We’re very big, very heavy, are very relatively good at defending ourselves, and have a tendency to hang out in groups. Not only that, but we have the audacity to cover most of our vulnerable points with stuff, and we’ve built these extremely non-bird-friendly zones in which we like to live. How unconscionably rude of us, amirite? 

Golden eagles have been recorded taking down sika deer and other medium-sized ungulates, and African crowned eagles have been known to attack children, so there is no question that large birds of prey could kill a human. Carrion birds and scavengers would undoubtedly eat bits off of an already-dead human (sky burials are a good example), but, again, we are not the chosen prey of any extant bird species.

As for extinct birds, even early modern humans were likely preyed upon by strictly non-avian predators. There are Maori oral traditions of the Haast’s Eagle - the females of which could reach up to 15kg (compared to the largest wild birds of prey now at ~9kg) - that state that they “seized and carried off men, women, and children”. However, while they were large enough to hunt their chosen prey, the (also extinct) moa, carrying off adult humans was likely outside of their capabilities

So, tl;dr: humans are really annoying to eat. 0/10, would not recommend.