People without OCD misunderstand it on so many levels. No it’s not a personality trait where you’re irked if things aren’t neat. And it’s not just anxiety either, not just chronic worrying or panic attacks.
OCD molds itself around the mind of whoever has it. It’s fine-tuned to whatever will strike at you most effectively. Sometimes it’s like water, taking the path of least resistance, and carrying you along so smoothly you don’t even realize you’ve been floating away until you’re stranded in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. Sometimes it’s a surprise precision-strike, taking advantage of a second’s vulnerability and leaves you immediately crumpled on the floor, fully aware of what happened, but powerless to do anything about it after the fact. There are days when it’s just a goddamn pest, buzzing about you head incessantly, and while it’s not making you particularly anxious you just aren’t in the mood for swatting it off–for fuck’s sake, is one day of peace too much to ask for?
Imagine your neighbor has a small yapping dog with the most obnoxious bark a dog can have and it yaps at you non-stop for decades at a time. Now imagine that sometimes it metamorphoses into a vicious wolf, able to break free from its chain to come after you. Sometimes it metamorphoses into a velociraptor–it can open doors, call for friends, outwit you, out-run you and devour you, and all the while convinces you that the pain is all your own doing. Imagine it’s all three at the same time. And it’s also living inside your head. Some days it is your head.
It learns. It adapts to your fears and worries based on your situation on any given day, in any given location. It can even turn in on itself, making you question whether you have it at all. It can take any piece of you and begin picking it apart in to little shreds of doubt, until all you have left of yourself at lunch with your friends, sitting in the chair at the dentist’s office, at 2 am alone in bed, is a pile of scraps quickly burning into ash, and you hope grow back in to a person by morning.
OCD is fucking terrifying–not just what it makes you think, but its very nature, the way it works–and your only weapon against it, at the end of the day, is to train yourself to ignore and endure the terror until it gives up and lets you go.
were you a bright colours kid or a pastel colours kid? were u a a cat/dog kid or a horse kid?
were u a space kid or a dinosaur kid? were u an ice cream kid or a candy kid? so many questions i want 2 know
What breed(s) is Bucky? :) Randomly came across a video of him, he's beautiful!
Aww, thank you! He’s a NAID from Night Eyes Kennels – basically a mix of Siberian Husky, Chinook, Malamute, and German Shepherd Dog. Even though he’s only 72 pounds, he’s already taller and longer than both my other dogs (black lab mix, chow/golden mix). I suspect he’s part dinosaur.
He’s usually a very happy dog…
Except when he gets a bath. Poor sad puppy!
But he spends way too much time digging in the mud, so…
Hello studyblr community!! My name is Katherine and I’m a 16 year old in the US. Junior year has just begun for me and I’d like to get in touch with as many resources and like-minded people as possible.
I’m a certified Film Score Ho™ and space loser. I L O V E superhero movies (refer to my other blog @lethalbarnes) and I’m a dog and dinosaur enthusiast.
This year my classes include: AP Chemistry, AP Physics I, AP Language, Spanish III, Pre-calc, AP Computer Science, & APUSH
These are views I see from the walks I take with my dog, Annabelle. Walking among these prehistoric giants, where the footprints of dinosaurs can be found and golden eagles gaze at their ancestors’ tracks from the sky, I never stop thinking, “How blessed am I, to walk in this land?”