okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -
- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?
say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.
mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.
not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.
ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.
then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.
ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.
“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”
so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.
he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans.
so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.
mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.
then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.
shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.
and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.
the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.
but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.
and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.
she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.
she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”
she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.
and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.
Owlbert Blinky belongs to @squorkal. Thank you for creating such a lovely OC!! He’s so cute, so I couldn’t resist drawing him. I tried my best because I really appreciate this little owl. Can’t wait to know more about Blinky!
yo yo yo its still spooky night here (although…this halloween was a total bust for me) so i thought i’d put together a lil thing for yall !
usnavi: he was a BIG halloween fan as a kid, ever since he was little (’87, halloween). an older usnavi usually goes as something with not a lot of work put into it, but is still a costume (a skeleton suit, vampire makeup, etc.). he focuses WAY more on the actual giving candy part of halloween.
sonny: okay so he is THAT halloween bitch. as a kid, he and his mom would have cute lil halloween costumes that correlated perfectly (thx mel!), and everyone loved them. as sonny grew older, they did less matching costumes and he did more of the scary theme than anything else. he’ll always stick to his scary theme, unless one year he decides to go as something funny.
vanessa: vanessa’s always been the girl who went as the badass girl characters in movies/tv shows. wonder woman? been there, done that! the bride from kill bill? check! black widow? yepperooni! she’s that gal!
nina: she went as hermione granger one year when she was 14/15. one of her favorite costumes she’s ever done. she also used to go as tv show characters that she liked a lot.
benny: it doesn’t seem like it, but benny gets into the halloween spirit. he LOVES joining sonny in dressing up as something scary. he’s a little goofy with his scary costumes (sometimes they’re not so scary) but you can never break the benny spirit.
daniela: daniela will go as whatever she thinks of the day before halloween. she never really cared about the holiday, just that she had to get candy and have dinner and dress up. she’ll still get into the spirit, but she won’t tolerate any of sonny’s “it’s october 1st! it’s halloween!” crap.
carla: a halloween costume LEGEND. carla goes all fucking out every year. she enjoys dressing up as funny things, scary things, nostalgic things, cute things, and one year, a sexy thing. that didn’t last long, she didn’t really like how degrading it was. nonetheless, nothing you could ever say could change her mind about halloween. it’s the best holiday!
pete: a fucking sheet ghost. every year. for a creative guy, he’s not so good at costumes.
This might be the purest of ships, especially because I clearly have a very loose definition of what a ship is.
Wander loves his hat. His hat loves Wander. Wander saved his hat and they look out for each other. He and his hat have been through it all. They dance and cuddle (idk what else you’d call Wander crawling inside to sleep except very cuddly). They seem to have some sort of psychic connection because if Wander’s feeling bad, the hat is looking bad, and both can repair/heal almost simultaneously and instantaneously. They’re both trolls, even, and are very magical. Also, one time Wander spit up a kazoo so I guess he can make stuff too? Or maybe just kazoos. Or he swallowed a kazoo just in case, and before his hat became his buddy, he’d just store things in his stomach like Tomba. Good luck not thinking about Wander hacking up party supplies, cakes, scented candles, banjos….
Either way! Wander/Hat. Very pure. Very good. I imagine the hat’s the more sappy of the two, yes, even moreso than Wander, and gives Wander little presents on their anniversary or whenever the mood takes it, and Wander spends nights cleaning it up and humming away while patching any worn spots and lint-rolling off his fur, and it’s all just super cute overall. Plus, there’s history there. Gotta @savewoy and get a third season for that. More hat history, please, @disneyxd