my depression is taking over me

anonymous asked:

Can I have an emergency prompt, I don't know if this is a good enough reason but I'm falling back into depression, I can't eat because food makes me feel nauseous and I cants sleep and my boyfriend doesn't even know how to deal with me like this and neither can my friends so it just feels like they're pushing me away to avoids my emotional baggage... idk can I get mccree and genji with friend/their crush that after not contacting them for a while reaches out to explain how there depressed sryidk

McCree


He figured that was the problem, knowing that gripping squeeze of depression well over the years. He noticed as soon as you began to shy away, he taking himself to you to ask what’s wrong despite knowing what it was.

When you confirmed his suspicions he pulled you close, rubbing your back. He let you rest ingot his chest before giving a rumbling hum deep through his chest. He can’t fix your problems but he can hold you and try to cheer you up on your bad days. 

He would encourage you to seek help, knowing neither of you can fix this on your own.

Genji


He felt guilty he didn’t notice until a few days in that you weren’ there. He simply pushed it aside as you being sick or just tired and needed time to yourself. He immediately apologised when you called, not realising how bad it was for you.

He’s quickly at your house at that, resting his faceplate by your door. He quickly scurried through the house until he was by your side, his heart aching as he pulled you close.

He pulled you close, hand spreading across your back. He offers you all he can do, suggesting to talk to Zenyatta or someone else about this.

being a naturally smart kid with adhd was honestly so damaging tbh because throughout grade school i just immediately understood every concept explained to me and i did well in school on intelligence alone, which was fine at first, but it meant that i never learned how to cope with things i didn’t understand immediately, and also nobody ever noticed my adhd since i wasn’t having trouble in school, which meant i would blame myself when i couldn’t focus and get incredibly frustrated with myself for procrastinating so much. so like, when school started to catch up with me, and my methods of just throwing my brain at things started to not work anymore, i literally didn’t know how to do school work. i would procrastinate or straight up avoid work i didn’t know how to deal with and i developed crippling anxiety over school and eventually major depression. like it eventually got so bad i had to leave school for a couple weeks. and like, i finally got diagnosed, and now I’m taking meds for adhd, but to this day, i still don’t really know how to learn or work efficiently and i kinda wish id been forced to learn this stuff in grade school instead of eleventh fucking grade when i really need to be doing good in school for college

being physically sick when you have mental illness is so odd because i am positive, always, that people will treat me the same way. i assume i’m not bad, because others have been worse, i tell very few people, i apologize for the inconvenience. i say of diagnosed illnesses: i’m faking it. it’s not bad. i don’t want to be annoying.

and it is strange to me. i get tired quickly because my lungs aren’t working - people go out of their way to help me, let me sit down, tell me not to worry. i get tired because my brain isn’t working - people ask why i’m being difficult, why i can’t just drink a coffee. 

i cough and i wheeze and people fawn over me. they offer me cough drops, they pull tissues from sleeves. when i stop eating and showering i’m being selfish, i’m lazy. i apologize for not wanting to go to the party, i’m on antibiotics and can’t drink; i’m told they’ll miss me, i get people staying home with me. i apologize for not wanting to go to the party, i’m spiraling and drinking wouldn’t be good for me; i’m told to relax and stop taking things seriously.

i show up to work wheezing. my lungs sound like a door creaking. i am shooed home, told to take off all the time i need. i never tell my boss i have ocd and am sometimes late for counting. admitting this seems personal, embarrassing. when i am having a bad day, i show up to work and people ask why i’m being so distant. so annoying. they drop their voice when they say depression but bring me green tea to help my breathing.

people ask if i’m feeling better. they fuss over me. they ask if they can bring soup, do anything. 

people ignore it. they ask if i’m over it yet. they tell me it’s a phase, it’s passing. they say they were sad once, it’s not serious, and i should stop making everything about me.

i don’t let people take care of me. i don’t know how. i don’t trust them. in my life, when i am bad, they leave. when my body is failing, i assume the same thing. 

i’m sorry i’m difficult. i just don’t understand people trying.

honk honk its hance time
  • best friends since literal birth. since before birth. their moms were friends before they were born
    • so many embarrassing baby photos of the two of them in matching halloween costumes e.g. as woody and jessie from toy story
    • so many videos of them as little kids playing in hunk’s backyard, pretending to be explorers on a new planet
    • so many pictures of them at important events in each others’ lives (hunk at lance’s mom’s wedding, lance at hunk’s first piano recital, and of course hundreds of pictures of them at school dances, family vacations, award ceremonies)
    • also they “got married” at age 6 in lance’s bedroom and they both have photos from the wedding saved on their phones
  • hunk: [hyperfocusing] lance: [drawing hearts on post-it notes and slowly covering hunk’s back with them]
  • lance is chronically unable to not talk about hunk. doesn’t matter what he’s talking about, he will somehow relate it back to something hunk has said or done
    • pidge plays a game where she’ll bring up the most absurdly specific and obscure topic of conversation that she can think of with lance, and time how long it takes for him to start talking about hunk
      • his longest record is forty-eight seconds
  • lance: [takes hunk’s hands from behind, makes him dance]
  • both like to stim by making noise & like to copy each others’ noises
    • they will be sitting in the same room, working on separate projects, saying “bleep bleep bloop” back and forth to each other
    • they’re also the Spontaneous Harmonizing couple
  • hunk: [picks up lance when he’s in the middle of talking and just. holds]
    • lance continues talking almost as if he doesn’t notice
  • lance when hunk is being needy: ugh god hunk you’re driving me crazy, why am i even dating you hunk: ok let me just remind you that i, hunk, bore earthly witness to your real actual middle school scene phase, i was there, in the trenches, on the front lines, and i still had a crush on you so you don’t get to complain about anything i do literally ever
  • can smell each others’ meltdowns coming a fucking mile away
  • if one is ever hyperfocusing to the point that it’s sort of Bad the other will just. come over and take his hands and say “ok you’re done with this for now” and take him to get some food goo
  • lance loves when hunk lays on top of him it’s like he’s under a big ol rock and he feels safe and grounded
  • hunk when lance does something cool: [yelling] THAT’S MY HUSBAND
It’s been months since our last conversation. Now I’m drinking all these different alcohols and taking all these different drugs to make all these different people look like you.
—  You’re the only thing on my mind
How to let go of your ex once and for all (even if it feels impossible)

It took me nearly 3 years to get over my ex boyfriend. If you have ever been through a breakup, you know it is one of the hardest most heart-wrenching things to go through.

After weeks of fighting, the day came where there was no other option than to break up. When he left my house that day I felt like he had ripped off a piece of my soul. I had loved this man with all my heart, it was a raw all consuming intense kind of love. I couldn’t grasp the reality of what had happened. My best friend came over and I was just lying there with lykke li’s song possibility on repeat. I had cried for hours and there was no life left in my eyes. 

For the first few months after the breakup I was in denial and I went into party mode, but not dealing with the pain slowly started to take its toll. And eventually (also because of some other factors) I fell into a deep black depression that would last for about a year. After the depression it still took me a long time to completely let him go.

It was the hardest and most valuable experience of my life.

So what helped me to let him go?

Keep reading

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- Taking The Princess Bride off Netflix was an Open Call from Netflix that they Hate Mentally Ill Lesbians because That was my Depression Film (an op-ed)

A Scarecrow For God

by reddit user survivalprocedure

“Can I take your picture?” Larissa sat a few feet away from me on the grey velvet sofa as I aimed my iPhone towards her. I stared at the screen intently for a moment before shifting my focus, looking over the brim of the phone at her defeated, hopeless state portrayed by bloodshot eyes.

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Self-Care With Me: Marissa Rei

#Blackout Co-Creator Marissa Rei (@marsincharge) is sharing a glimpse into what she does to engage in self-care!

Full Transcript: 

*voice over* Hey Tumblr! It’s Marissa Rei from #TheBlackout and I’m going to be sharing my self-care with you! Self-care is really important to me as a person that has had a very long and challenging mental health journey. I love to engage in skincare and to keep really well hydrated *laughs*. 

It’s also super fun for me to do my makeup, as you’ll see in a second!

My mental health journey includes struggles with anxiety, depression, and with body image so for me to take time to really take care of my body and feel healthy is super important.

I also take time to appreciate the small things such as good music and good tea. I throw myself into hobbies like collecting stuffed animals and photography. 

And I’m never afraid to treat myself to my favorite candy. 

The take away here is that you should surround yourself with things that make you smile, no matter how silly or small. 

If you want to share how you take care of yourself, join the conversation with #PostItForward.

100 Prompts

1. “Close your eyes and shut up.”

2. “They hide paper towels in their room and I don’t know why.“

3. “Get over it, pussy.”

4. “He yelled yeehaw and I’m not quite sure why.”

5. “No playing video games together is not considered a date.”

6. “Give me anime or give me death.”

7. “Your mom texted to tell me you’re pathetic.”

8. "Do you ever look at your hand after you nut and just think “I’m so disgusting.” I call it post nut depression.”

9. “I think I have a kink for being made fun of.”

10. "I can’t believe you woke me up crying over a group.”

11. “You’re just naturally dumb.”

12. “Why did you take a picture praying to an anime character?”

13. "On a scale of 1-10 how bad do you not wanna do this?” “I don’t.”

14. “I’m going to my bed.” “That’s the bathroom.”

15. “I would have stayed if you asked.”

16. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

17. "Are you hurt?”

18. “Why do you have a duck in your bag?”

19. "Why are you listening to the ICarly soundtrack?”

20. “I don’t want to hear about your toe.”

21. “Why can’t we get matching clothes?”

22. “You were sick 5 minutes ago.” “But I’m not sick now.”

23. "I’ve lost my nose.”

24. "Why would I have a problem with you facetiming your cat?”

25. “Is this your dream?”

26. “I don’t understand why you’d think that.”

27. "I’m living life to the fullest extent!”

28. “What do you mean you won’t sleep in the empty bed?!”

29. “I’m part of the pathetic line.”

30. “It’s two a.m., why are you next to me?”

31. “Sex doesn’t make you any better at playing Overwatch.”

32. “No problem friend. I am meme share supreme.”

33. “I can’t go to Taco Bell for a while.”

34. “Can you con someone for group dessert money?”

35. “You look like the manager for Hot Topic.”

36. “Am I supposed to find you laying in my bed in a banana suit hot?”

37. “I can’t find my pants.”

38. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

39. “Who cares if they saw?”

40. “Please come with me.”

41. "Let me shower first!”

42. “What is that?”

43. “I’m not the one doing it.”

44. “I’m not him.”

45. “It’s a secret.”

46. “Did you read it?”

47. “What if I prove you wrong?”

48. “How do we get in?”

49. “Is something wrong with me?”

50. “That’s my theme song.”

51. “Let me stay. Please.”

52. “All I want is you and if I can’t have that-”

53. “Ask for permission.”

54. “Why did you say ‘Daddy’ in your sleep?”

55. “I put trust in you.”

56. “Stay.”

57. “You’re a filthy squid.”

58. "Do you really need those?”

59. "Would you be able to be happy with me?”

60. “Just come here.”

61. "All I was doing was looking for you.”

62. “I feel so fucking stupid.”

63. “I can handle myself.”

64. "It was your fault.”

65. "How did it take me so long to realize?”

66. “It was always you.”

67. “You bought my hip hop monster?”

68. “Don’t start with that again.”

69. “F-Fuck.”

70. “Disgusting.”

71. “We were just joking around, right? Please tell me you knew that.”

72. “Why are you sleeping?”

73. “Why do you want taco bell now?”

74. “Hey, what would my name be if I was a Pokémon?”

75. “All great stories started off shitty. Just like you. Now, fix yourself.”

76. "What’s your favorite meme?”

77. “I left the house today.”

78. “Does this make me some kind of hero?”

79. “You don’t need to know.”

80. “It’s just not that impressive.”

81. “I need some sugar.”

82. “There were two so I figured one was mine-”

83. “Please don’t go.”

84. "Just a bit more-”

85. “Are you subconsciously doing the dance?”

86. “You promised you wouldn’t fall asleep.”

87. "You’re not a bad problem, you’re a good problem. Not a problem, problem.”

88. “Don’t pretend I didn’t just see what you were doing.”

89. “We just don’t really talk anymore.”

90. "Do you think other species have their own kind of drugs? Like something that gets them high?”

91. “Stop stroking your plushie.”

92. "Look, it’s called Joppa!”

93. "You’re just a little baby.”

94. “Ow, my ass.”

95. "Please just take a nap.”

96. "But that was my best pickup line!”

97. "Would you still act the same knowing everyone’s eyes were on you?”

98. “You’re just a memory now.”

99. “Go fuck yourself.”

100. “It’s never gonna happen.”

Emergency: Abuse/donations/Support

For those who don’t want to read skip to the tl;dr for the gist of it.

Hey guys, I’m sorry to make a post about this and I can’t ass a pretty picture, if anyone cares to lend an ear please. My families abuse on me has increased and gotten worse, I’m not being fed and I can’t even get a job (the Refuse to take me to interviews, or to the actual place I need to work) and when I get money form whatever job I get they take it, but food and I get none of it. I tried to bring this to attention to this before. This a sue started sophomore year in high school and just gradually got worse, yes CPS was called but of course they didn’t do anything, I’ve told therapist, my friends and everything and nothing. My boyfriend is unwilling to let me move into his apartment with him at the end of the month because he says I don’t have a job. (Yes i told him that’s awful thing to say) I’ve put effort it o getting and finding a job and effort into trying to get out of this house. I to inform everyone that there is a possibility that all the power in my room will be shut off because my older cousin believes I don’t deserve power in my room if I can’t get a job (yet he’s the one who hit me and kicked me a few times as well). They value our dog over me. I’ve asked for help about my severe depression and other mental health problems including my bi-polar disorder. Instead of taking me to a doctor, my grandma got my brother therapy even though he doesn’t want it (he’s also depressed but doesn’t want the help). My brother, has no job, also depressed and doesn’t do anything all day hasn’t given my grandma money, he doesn’t pay rent, and or do chores. I am depressed, I do chores, I pay with whatever cash the can mange to milk off of me. He’s fed everyday I’m left literally nothing, I’ve lost weight, I’m constantly sick and I’m lying to my one or two irl friends that I’m healthy and well. I can’t sleep, I don’t have proper medicine to deal with my asthma, anemia, or my insomnia. I’ve tried sleeping remedies melatonin and all that. I’ve asked for help multiple times and got nothing. If you can donate or support I have buttons on my page for that. (PayPal and Kofi) I’ll even do a bunch of 5 dollar sketch commissions so I can at least get some good or save money so I can at least move in with my boyfriend even if it’s temporarily. Im in desperate need of help. I’m not sure I can’t keep up being “strong” anymore. I’m close to giving up.

Tl;Dr: My family is abusing me, I want to get away, I’m starving. Please help me.

IG@Sheriboberry
260 lbs ➡️ 150 lbs.
The picture on the left almost brought me to tears. It was the day of my sisters wedding. You can see the depression in my eyes. You can see my unhappiness, insecurities, utter hate for my body. I remember that day so clearly… I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Seeing family members and friends I hadn’t seen in years. Taking tons of pictures that would be framed, put on facebook. And there I was… Hating myself. The body I lived in. I didn’t want to see anyone. Yet alone people I hadn’t seen in so long. And take pictures? It was pretty much a nightmare for me. I remember avoiding shopping for a dress for weeks. My sister literally had to make me. I was convinced I could “lose a few pounds” before her wedding.. And I refused to go dress shopping until I had done so. Well as the day crept up on me… I had actually gained weight rather than lost it. And so there I was…. Unhappy, depressed, disgusted, angry, bitter. Thinking why is this happening to me? How did my life get to this point…

People ask me everyday how I did it. & especially how I kept going… even on the bad days.

‘Success is moving from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. ’
THIS quote. Throughout my weight loss journey.. and even now.. I continually reminded myself of these words. Why? Because there WILL be failure. It’s apart of the process… the difference is what you chose to do with it. You have to want it badly enough to push through the failures and endure the pain of change. Which there will be pain. And you have to be willing at any given moment… to give up temporary satisfaction for long term success.
Weight loss isn’t just about your physical self, it’s about changing your mind as well. If you can change your mind you can change your body.
I made up my mind ✔
Changed my mindset on how I viewed food and ultimately how I viewed myself✔
Stopped making excuses ✔
and NEVER let the failures keep me down ✔

The Walls Would Sing To Me.

When I was young, the walls of my bedroom would sing to me at night. I found the mysterious phenomenon soothing, and looked forward to it every night.

At eight years old, I mentioned it to my parents, and they brought me to a doctor, who concluded I had a wild imagination. This reassured my parents, and prompted me to keep quiet about it in the future.

A few years later, my father had a heart attack in his sleep while my mom was away on a business trip. That night, I woke up suddenly and quickly noticed the absence of the walls’ singing. The silence felt weird, wrong.

It was broken by a lone, strangely familiar voice.

“Young giant, your father is in trouble,” the voice was whispered. It was breathy, like silk against silk, the voice of one of the singers.

Something tickled the skin right below my ear, then dropped down to my arm. When it reached my index finger, I brought my hand to my face so I could see my mysterious companion.

A small, black spider sat on the pad of my finger. Before I could make a move to shake it off, it spoke again.

“You father is very ill. He needs a healer,” the spider insisted in the same delicate whisper before launching itself off my finger into the darkness of my bedroom.

Sure enough, when I went to check on my dad, I was unable to wake him. Later, the doctor told me that my dad would have died if I hadn’t woken up when I did.

The next day, I whispered thanks to the spider that sang in my walls. They hummed in response, and I grinned, happy with my new friends.

My father died from another heart attack when I was seventeen, prompting my mother to spiral into mental decline until her hospitalization a year later. After that, I sunk into a deep depression and ended up in an abusive relationship.

I eventually told the spiders all about my suffering, and they murmured with sympathy from their perches in the walls. A large, brown spider dropped down from the ceiling onto the pillow beside my bruised face and asked me if I would bring my boyfriend over that evening.

“We will take care of you, young giant,” it promised.

So that’s what I did. He came over and settled himself before the TV. I stood at the stove in the kitchen, barely paying attention to my cooking as I waited eagerly to see what the spiders had in store.

He started screaming as the pasta finished. He had stopped by the time I had drained it and added the sauce. I ate my meal happily as I waiting for the police to arrive.

They said he died of a brain aneurism. Tragic, they said. Yes, I agreed, very tragic.

That night, I slept soundly, lulled by the gentle music as my friends sang from their homes in the walls.

It’ll take a while,
To lose all the feelings I have for you,
To forget everything that happened.
But I’m getting there,
I promise.
Soon you’ll be just a memory,
Just some boy I used to know.
—  E.T // you’ll be just somebody I used to know
it hurts until it doesn’t pt. 2

Pairing: reader x Yoongi

Genre: angst

Word Count: 5,375

A/N: PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT IF AND WHEN I WILL UPDATE THIS SERIES. THANKS

Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye

part 1 part 2

“Y/N! Will you please stop texting and tell me if this mirror is straight?” Yoongi called out impatiently from the living room.

“Someone’s cranky,” you tease from your newly shared bedroom. You were were careful not to knock over the hours worth of unpacking stacked neatly around you.

He was staring at the wall, absent-mindedly running his finger across his lips as he always did when he was thinking. You had never seen a man that deep in thought about an inanimate object. The sound of your camera clicking makes him turn around, the look on his face sending a smile across yours.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, pouting at your enjoyment.

“I’ve never seen someone hang a mirror so seriously before.”

He turns around and focuses back on the gilded frame in front of him, “This is our first apartment together, Y/N. I want to make sure it’s perfect.”

You stare at him quietly, taking in the moment in front of you. Yoongi was never one for sentiment. He was a serious man, but deep down he there was a softness. A softness that he only let you see in brief glimpses, catching you off guard every time he does.

“It’s perfect,” you whisper as you walk up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Can I take a photo of us?” he asks, pulling out his phone from the pocket of his hoodie.

You nod as you bury your face in the back of his neck, taking deep breaths of the mixture of cologne and sweat and shampoo. You smile, wishing you could live in this moment forever.

Keep reading

3

Pairing: Jasper Cullen x Reader

Characters: Jasper, the Cullens

Warnings: Angst, May Trigger Unwanted Depressed Thoughts!

Word Count: 690

Note: I hope this requested one-shot/imagine is as lovely and beautiful as the person who asked for it. And let’s be honest everyone, Jasper would have been the ideal boyfriend/mate had he been real.

Your name: submit What is this?


The very moment I had collapsed upon Alice’s Chesterfield sofa, all I had done  was stare out at the autumn sky as it seemed quite dark and vengeful while angry clouds coiled within as they race across the grey heavens. The winds picked up in a frenzy and the thunder echoed while clouds began to collide with one another. And not too soon, the harmonic thrumming of the sudden raindrops fill my ears.

The sky seemed as depressed as I had been today, it seemed to be my only companion, who weeped as I began to do so. It was difficult to specifically pinpoint as to what had caused me to feel this way. Continuously, I had searched my heart and asked myself what or how I had began to feel this way. Frantically, after thinking about the numerous, unsatisfying possibilities, I grew irritated with myself as I run my fingers through my hair. 

My body betrayed me as my palms began to get clammy yet I felt as if I was bathing in ice cold water. Every cell in my body was tingling in pain while my heart beat so hard within my chest, it almost felt like painful waves thrashing up against the walls of my ribcage. 

These dreaded feelings I had never wished for were like a vicious, exhausting cycle of burning hell, especially when I couldn’t control the overwhelming, sickening anxieties. All this crying, overthinking, the constant feeling of being pulled into a dark abyss, the suicidal thoughts - it was a draining feeling that makes me wonder if this life I was living is worth living at all.

All the sudden, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket as it startles me. I wipe the fresh tears away with the back of my hand and reach for my phone. Instantly, I roll my eyes as I see that the new text message had been sent from my mom asking me where I was…

I didn’t bother replying, in fact I hadn’t even returned home from school today and now, it had been late in the afternoon. The reason for that was not because I didn’t want to be with my family but because I needed to be alone, at peace, where there wouldn’t be vexing comments about my facial appearance, like, ‘Turn that frown upside down, (Y/N), even Mona Lisa looks happier than you do.’

In all sincerity, by now, this monstrous episode of depression would have since faded. But I felt as if my torn soul echoed with powerful melancholies. And so, everything around me only continued to become blurry as an annoying, low buzzing rang in my ears. 

The uncontrollable noise only made me want to yell in frustration as I sink into my feet and slowly crawl over to my school bag. With trembling hands and tearful eyes, I reach for the inner pocket to pull out the pills that had been prescribed for my anxiety. 

The doctor had advised that I not take anymore than one pill as the drug was quite strong and overdosing would pronounce serious, long-term issues. As of this moment, it seemed to be the only way for me as I forced the cap to open and poured the pills on my palm, ready to swallow them.

Suddenly, the pills were knocked out of my hands as they scattered across the floor of the bedroom. And before I could reach for them and yell at the person, two cool yet soothing hands rest upon my cheeks. “(Y/N),” Jasper’s velvety voice whispered as I gasp when I look to him. 

A sudden wave of calm slowly washes over me and my heartbeat gradually returns to normal as I stare at Jasper’s serene, golden eyes. As he pulls me to his chest, instinctively, I wrap my arms around him, breathing in his hypnotizing scent.

As we remain in this comfortable position, Jasper lulls me with his sweet words, “Listen to me, doll. None of this is your fault and no matter what happens, I will keep you safe. I will always make sure of it, sugar.”

Dear Nafs,
Today I sat cross-legged across from my Madrassa teacher and as she held my palms in hers, she introduced me to you.
I am sorry it took me so long to recognize you.

Dear Nafs, 
You are the embodiment of my desires and the mirror of my heart. Please be good to me. I’ll take us to Jannah.

Dear Nafs,
I saw a boy today. Why can’t I focus on my homework instead of his eyes?

Dear Nafs,
It’s hard not to listen to music. It’s even harder when your friends don’t understand.

Dear Nafs,
I saw him again and my heart stopped.
I should’ve looked away but my eyes wouldn’t let me.


Dear Nafs, 
Last month you convinced me to leave out my sunnah prayers which seemed fine until I realized the last time I prayed Fajr was three days ago

Dear Nafs,
Hassan completes me. He understands me.


Dear Nafs,
I am paralyzed by my sins. By what my eyes saw and by what my fingers typed on that keyboard.
I cannot go back to God.

Dear Nafs,
You said it was one time.
You promised.
Why do we keep falling into the same trap over and over again?

Dear Nafs,
I was lying in bed, drowning in music and the ocean of helplessness. 
My mother called from the stairs, “It’s time for Maghrib, go pray.” I only rolled over and changed the playlist

Dear Nafs,
I haven’t made Whudu in 17 days.
I don’t know why i keep track.

Dear Nafs, 
There is an emptiness growing inside of me. I think I am what would be called depressed.


Dear Nafs,
You’re not fighting on my side, are you?

Dear Nafs,
Please. Don’t destroy me.

Dear Nafs,
This is it.
I can’t take it anymore.


Dear Nafs,
They always said the most important part about winning a fight is distinguishing between the enemy and ally. I guess I’ve been losing since day one.

Dear Nafs,
I know this is not how you begin a usual declaration of war, but this is not a usual battle.

Why I’m so nuts for YOI

YOI flipped my switch in a big way, in a head-over-heels way, in a Victor-dancing-with-Yuri-at-the-GPF-banquet-and-realizing-this-was-it way, and I’ve been thinking lately about why it is that I love it SO much. There are so many reasons. A million reasons. A gazillion reasons under the cut because I’m not as cruel to stick this much text at once into your dash.

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