my dear hogwarts

Dear Evan Hansen in Hogwarts AU (headcanons!!)

(takes place in an “OOPS CONNOR IS ALIVE” au!)


•Jared gets placed in Ravenclaw mainly because of his computer skills and because it’s also a house that holds people who are, well, unique

•Alana is in Slytherin for her determination and ambition, despite wanting to be in Ravenclaw because she’s convinced all the smart people HAVE to be there

•Zoe, tough and independent Zoe Murphy, gets put in Hufflepuff and while everyone else is floored she isn’t the least bit surprised

•Connor gets put in Ravenclaw because again it’s a house that welcomes people who are considered weird or out of the ordinary and we all know Connor has been considered a “freak” by so many people after the second grade printer incident

•And Evan Hansen—the anxious, reserved Evan Hansen—goes to Gryffindor. And everyone goes INSANE. You can even hear Jared from the front of the Ravenclaw table yell “wHAT THE FUCK?” before promptly getting whacked on the head by Connor.

•Alana is absolutely terrified of all the other Slytherins at first because of all the stories she’s heard about Slytherin being a bad house and stuff like that and because of that has trouble settling in

•But then one Slytherin girl befriends her and she realizes that Slytherin isn’t too bad of a house and she starts getting more comfortable with everyone

•Connor and Jared are absolutely pissed to be in the same house and they can’t stand each other and constantly annoy the other Ravenclaws by their bickering

•Jared is a muggleborn

•Alana and the Murphy siblings are pureblood

•Evan is a halfblood

•Evan finds out that the reason why his dad left him and Heidi when he was younger was because it wasn’t safe for a wizard like him to be out in the muggle world anymore and he had to leave Evan with Heidi because it was safer for him to be away from them

•And he has incredible trouble coping with this and actually takes it against his dad for some time before coming to terms with it

•Zoe is surprisingly taken as a beater for Quidditch

•And he would never admit it but Connor comes to watch every game Zoe’s in

•Connor also watches Zoe’s every single move in Quidditch and will literally murder anyone who even just almost hurts her

•Meanwhile Jared’s a Keeper, and he especially likes Quidditch because “the Quaffle looks like a huge bathbomb, what can be more awesome than that?”

•Alana keeps track of the scores and announces what’s going on and actually got paid once by Connor to focus ONLY on Zoe and what’s happening to her during a Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor match

•Connor was seriously also ready to beat Jared up after he accidentally injured Zoe

•"Connor, it’s just a bruise!!“ “ITS HIS FAULT I’LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM ZOE HE BETTER APOLOGIZE TO YOU OR THAT MOTHERFUCKER WILL HEAR FROM ME”

•During classes, Evan absolutely loves Herbology and is quite obviously the teacher’s favorite as he knows all about any type of magical plant

•Because of this he’s barely afraid of the whomping willow as well

•Which, of course, amazes everyone because the whomping willow is basically like a tree from the depths of hell

•Connor also does incredibly well at Defense Against the Dark Arts and just blows everyone away after acing practically every homework, test, lesson and essay there is to the class

•Alana is a huge Potions nerd, and she loves measuring and computing for all the ingredients needed to make a certain concoction and she always stays up late in the Slytherin common room with that one good friend she has trying to figure out how to do a certain tricky potion

•Jared, meanwhile, amazes everyone at Transfiguration. He even somehow learned how to turn into a mouse within his first year

•However he wasn’t very lucky when Connor transformed into a cat and started chasing him in rat form

•He got injured with claw marks all over his body in human form and had to go to Evan to get some healing herbs applied to his wounds

•"That hurts, Evan.“ “Sorry, just bear with it for a little longer please.” “It burns like the fires of hell.” “How do you know what the fires of hell feel like?” “Hansen, I’m the insanely cool Jared Kleinman. I’ve been through hell and back and still managed to look dashing and I still maintain my awesomeness.”

(More hogwarts au headcanons coming soon, maybe even for other musicals. Submit some to me if you have your own. Also feel free to leave an ask recommending which musical I should make hogwarts aus out of. I’m cool with anything as long as I’m into it)

8

More Hogwarts AU stuff. Introducing classmates! Lucille is the bird-girl from OTGW (I just gave her a name) and Pat and Oliver are OCs of mine. Info on Dipper, Mabel, Wirt and Greg’s parents, hopefully the writing isn’t too small (more info on Pacifica will appear during the AU, as well as Wendy; Wirt’s dad does not make any appearance in the AU. He’s just there to be the reason to a problem XP

Also, Wirt’s Beast. Now ya know 8DD

Dear Evan Hansen in Hogwarts AU (headcanons!!) [Part 2!!]

Yes I know this is so late but I’ve been working on this for some time so… here ya’ll go!

Again, I’m always—ALWAYS—open to headcanon submissions and love it whenever someone leaves an ask or submission with headcanons so feel free to go leave some in my inbox! Go wild guys.

(Takes place in an “OOPS CONNOR IS ALIVE” au)

•Connor has a cat as his pet. And he’s so dang proud of it, it could practically be his son already. He’s overprotective of it. If anyone tries to harm it, he goes INSANE.

•The cat’s also his comfort animal. Whenever he feels particularly sad or depressed it suddenly comes up next to him and lays on his lap and just allows Connor to pet him to help him come down and get more control of his emotions.

•Meanwhile Evan has an owl who he didn’t even buy from a pet store in Diagon Alley.

•He just found the poor thing as a baby freezing outside after a storm.

•Then he just made the decision to pick it up and care for it, because Evan knew that the baby owl was dying and in desperate need of help, and he couldn’t let the poor thing die.

•Zoe also has an owl, and her owl and Evan’s are friends.

•Meanwhile Alana has a cat and she’s taught it to do much more than get mail… she’s taught it how to defend her, how to pick up her wand (because even Alana can be too lazy to say “Accio” on some days), how to help her clean a spilled tub of ink, and a whole lot more. Basically, the cat’s just as smart as Alana is herself.

•And poor Jared is the only one of his friends that has a toad. And they won’t let it go. Ever.

•"A toad, Kleinman?? I’ll have Blackbird chew that thing up into bits when you turn your back.“ “Well who the fuck even names their cat Blackbird, Murphy?”

•And out of spite Jared joins the Frog Choir and becomes the darn best member of it and eventually becomes a soloist.

•And then, of course, in the most Jared-like way possible, he rubbed it in to everyone who teased him for having a toad as a pet.

•In the summer before their third year, when Evan told Heidi she had to sign his slip for him to go to Hogsmeade, she absolutely freaked out.

•"Are you gonna need bug spray?? Extra jackets for winter? I should probably increase your allowance. Listen, young man, I am requiring you to have my number on speed dial on all those trips so you can call me if something goes wrong, okay? Oh my god my son is growing up so fast…“

•And then on his first trip to Hogsmeade, it was so cold outside that Evan simply couldn’t stand the weather and simply speed-walked into the nearest restaurant, grabbed a seat, and got a hot mug of butterbeer to warm up a little.

•Larry and Cynthia also demanded that Connor and Zoe stick together on their trips to Hogsmeade when going out of Hogwarts and going back in just to make sure that the two of them are okay and not injured or anything like that.

•But Connor ended up having to follow Zoe across Hogsmeade because he was a bit afraid of getting lost but wouldn’t admit it obviously.

•When Zoe noticed and asked what he was doing still following her around he just froze, and then on instinct grabbed snow from the ground and threw it at her.

•And of course Zoe had to throw another snowball back at him before suddenly regretting her decisions in fear that Connor would react aggressively or threaten to kill her… like the many different times he had done before.

•But then to her astonishment he lets out a small smile and makes another snowball before hurling it at her.

•And soon both Zoe and Connor are running across Hogsmeade throwing snowballs at each other and laughing hysterically. (See folks, I’m a sucker for the “Murphy siblings healthy relationship” alternate universe so I’m just gonna slip it in here…)

•Meanwhile Jared heard from a friend that he simply had to visit Honeydukes… and that’s exactly what he did.

•And the kid literally spent thirty minutes or so just wandering around the shop buying an assortment of candies before running out the door with a grin and proceeding to find Evan.

•Of course it took Jared another good fifteen minutes or so to find his “family-friend” before eventually finding him hidden inside The Three Broomsticks with an empty mug in front of him.

•"Hey.“ "Hi.” “I bought some stuff at Honeydukes. Want some? And what are you doing all cooped up in here anyways??” “I don’t know, I’m not too fond of the cold.” “Oh well. Nevermind that, I’m here so you’re a little less lonely. Want some jelly beans?”

•They then spent the next hour trying Every Flavor Beans and sometimes choking on their own laughter when the other would get a disgusting flavor and run for a glass of water and spit the half chewed up jelly bean into tissue paper.
(Perhaps now may be a good time to say I proudly ship Kleinsen and had to include one cute moment with them in here. If you ship Connor and Evan or anything else though, feel free to imagine this playing out with whoever you ship!!)

That’s all the headcanons I have for now! I’m planning to make a Part 3 soon, and am currently working on a Hogwarts AU for the musical Spring Awakening due to a request.

Also, I forgot to say… OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 500+ NOTES ON MY LAST SET OF HEADCANONS YOU GUYS. I never expected it would be that popular. You guys are the best, I swear 💕

Goin Back to Hogwarts

My Dear Friends,

I have some very exciting news… I’M GOIN BACK TO HOGWARTS!

I have been admitted to the University of Michigan Law School class of ‘19! At the end of May I will be heading to Ann Arbor to begin law school, and hopefully become an Entertainment Attorney.

This was a big decision for me, as I love acting and living and working in Los Angeles, but in the end I decided I wanted to take on a new role within the entertainment industry.

The best part is all of my friends, family, and my amazing girlfriend Tessa Netting, have supported me 110% on this really exciting new adventure.

So I want to say THANK  YOU to them and all of you for your endless love and encouragement!

Please know I’m not going anywhere- you can still find me on Twitter & Snapchat and I will probably still do comedy from time to time.

You can definitely see me at GEEKY CON this summer, and I will be around for StarKid events as much as I possibly can.

I love all of you Pandas. Thanks for going with me on this crazy cool new journey.

-Joe Moses

  • walking in the forest like a normal family
  • Me: *picks up twig* THE ELDER WAND
  • Parents: oh no
  • Me: *picks up rock* THE RESURRECTION STONE
  • Parents: not this again
  • Me: *uses jacket as a cape* THE INVISIBILITY CLOAK
  • Parents: can't we just leave her here
  • Me: *rolls over the ground* TOGETHER THEY MAKE THE DEATHLY HALLOWS
  • Parents: she doesn't need us come on she'll find some berries to eat or something let's leave
  • Me: TOGETHER THEY MAKE ONE MASTER OF DEATH
  • Me: *laughs evilly as parents run away*