my dating philosophy

My life as an openly fat woman

My life as someone openly fat has been amazing. It has also been hard as well. Currently I consider myself an activist for Muslims, feminism, lgbtqia+, the disabled and for fellow fat people like myself. Typically, most people would rather fat women such as myself were invisible. I am different.

I am loud and proud about my fatness. Most of the time people see me wearing low cut and form-fitting clothes and lots of makeup. I believe that all women no matter their size should feel beautiful and I am no exception. My openness with how fat I am has also lead to ridicule as well. Much of the time I get stares from strangers and judging looks from what I choose to wear. Every once in a while, I get a rude person that tells me to lose weight for my health. This doesn’t really affect me as much as it used to because I know that health is a social construct.

In speaking of my health, I am also judged for what I eat. I have always naturally been fat so whatever I eat won’t change my weight. Over time, I have become I unafriad of eating a burger or pizza in public. I’m also not ashamed of what I eat in private because it is my body and my choice.

Being openly fat has also contributed to weight discrimination I get at the doctors office. Every time I go to the doctor to get a perscription for something like strep throat, I get told to lose weight. It annoys me how fatphobic some doctors are because skinny people get sick too with the same things I get and they never get told to lose weight. The doctors also tell me that I might not get sick as often if I lost weight, but since I’m naturally fat, losing weight will never happen.

My weight has also made it harder for dating but that still hasn’t stopped me from trying to find the right person for me. As you may know, I am very choosy with who gets to date me. My philosophy is that if someone cannot meet the requirements, they were never worthy of me in the first place. My fatness does not lower my value and I want to change the way society views fat people. I also notice that even though people will pretend to like people like me, they never want to romantically be with me due to my weight which is fatphobic. More people need to be okay with dating someone fat and I want to eliminate fatphobia as much as I can by being openly fat.

Overall, being fat is a blessing and being openly fat has given me more confidence and happiness than I would have never thought possible. Since I have this confidence, I am grateful for being openly fat.

Here’s my philosophy on dating: It’s important to have somebody who can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, and somebody who can, you know, turn you on.


And it’s really, REALLY important that these three people don’t know each other.

—  Brooke Davis, One Tree Hill

my new philosophy on dating is that if i cant be your one and only then you can fuck off and i’ll hold a grudge forever. it’s very fun and cool