my dad thought it up

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

6

I said no to Marion Guthrie’s plan despite having no alternative and at the risk of losing the entire endeavor because I refuse to situate a man in a position where he might interfere one day with my ability to repair things with you.

OH HEY I HAD MY MERMAID PARTY YESTERDAY

Good news- the small child was perfectly enchanted by her mermaid surprise unlike the first mermaid party I did where the birthday girl wanted to be as FAR AWAY FROM THE MERMAID AS POSSIBLE

they wheeled me out on a desk chair which was pretty hilarious but actually worked a lot better than a Throne of Dads

and then omfg to get me in the pool

they put me in one of those disability chairs that you sit in and it sloooooowly lowers you into the pool

so I just sat in it, princess-waving for a full 5 minutes while I’m majestically lowered into the water. hilarious

Unlike the last party I actually was SWIMMING the whole time! They plopped me right into the deep end and I paddled around with the kids (who had floaties on and were swimming with their parents). Birthday girl was more than happy to show Marina the Mermaid how she can dunk her head in the water and jump off the side into her mom’s arms (she had just turned 4). Super cute.

MERMAID SUCCESS. I DIDN’T DROWN

Some things Percy probably does because he’s a New Yorker
  • He talks really, really fast 
  • Like some people just stare at him not knowing what he said because he strings his thoughts and sentences together rapidly because c’mon he lives in Manhattan where everything is high pace 24/7
  • He talks really loud! His voice carries over well. He’s so bad at like talking softly. And people can often hear him from like a mile away lmao 
  • Annabeth jokes that she could be on the other side of MSG at a Rangers game and still be able to hear him 
  • He basically lives off of pizza, bagels, and bacon egg and cheeses. Like he’s always stopping to get a slice or pie at his local pizzeria, or at his bodega to get bagels before school or something like that
  • He’s very proud of being a New Yorker. Like we tend to be proud to be from New York, I don’t know it’s just a thing that we do (except when we complain about it all the time)  
  • Anything that is north of the Bronx, he considers Upstate New York (even though it is not. Bitter about it) 
  • The dude can weave through crowds so fluidly. He is a master of evading people barreling down the sidewalks
  • He walks really fast! In New York, if you don’t walk fast everyone hates you.  
  • He is really good at doing things with other shit and noise going on around him. Construction is everywhere, always making a lot of noise, so he’s used to it and it doesn’t bother him as much
  • He can drive a car, but he lives in the City. It is a hellish nightmare to drive through there and to get out without possibly dying in the process. So he’s not the greatest driver in the world. But he can parallel park easily. 
  • He jaywalks like it’s his fucking job. He fears nothing when he needs to get somewhere (ahem, late to school)
  • He curses a lot. Every other word that comes out of his mouth is some kind of swear (except in front of his mother)
  • He has his favorite sports teams (Mets, Jets, Rangers, Knicks) but he usually supports all New York teams (except Buffalo, way too up north and he forgets about them a lot)
|Awkward Dinner| Peter Parker

Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Request:  Hi, are u tking in requests? Because I was thinking of one in which the reader is dating Peter Parker and her dad is Tony Stark (peter dindnt know) and she presents Peter to her dad in a dinner night and Tony is like :“You piece of shit,youre dating my daughter” and a lot of awkard conversations at dinner? I dont know, is it too mixed up? keep writing

A/N: Thanks for the request and I love the idea of the reader being Starks daughter so I had fun writing this :3

Warnings: ALOT of cussings, and mentions of sex and implied *wink wonk*

Words: 915

Part 2

Originally posted by dailymcugifs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you nervous?” I asked Peter, holding his arm while standing in front of the closed dining room doors.

“No- I mean… Yeah. I just hope your dad likes me.” He nervously chuckled.

“I know he’ll love you! I mean he’s really smart just like you. And funny- but kind of an asshole…” I smiled up at him.

“Ok…” He opened the door and grinned. “After you.” He motioned into the room.

“Thank you.” I giggled at him and walked past. My dad, who most call Tony Stark, was sitting at the table working on something projecting from his watch.

“Hey sweetie-” He said without looking up. Peter walked up beside me and froze.

“Uh-” Peter whimpered.

“Babe- are you ok?” I whispered to him. My dad looked up.

“Oh- hey Peter…” My fathers eyebrows furrowed. “What are you doing here?” He asked. My eyes widened.

“Hey… Mr. Stark…” Peter quietly said.

“You know my dad?” I whisper shouted at Peter.

“Yeah! I mean he made my suit and all!” He threw his hands up, keeping his voice low.

“Y/N… I thought your boyfriend would be eating with us.” He said through gritted teeth. I feel like he already knew Peter was my so said boyfriend but wanted to hear me say it.

“Hehe… dad… You apparently already know Peter… my… boyfriend.” I smiled as best I could to hide my embarrassment. I knew that look. My dad had his ‘I’m going to kick someones ass’ look.

“You son of bitch-”

“Dad!” I snapped at my dad.

“You piece of shit-”

“Daaaad-”

“You don’t got daddy issues why you scoping after an almost carbon copy of me?” I groaned.

“Stop- let’s just… have dinner and be nice and- dad do not yell at him anymore.” I said while taking Peter’s arm and leading him to a seat next to me near my dad. We both sat down and my father sighed, swiping away his work.

There was an awkward silence as our food was brought out. Peters’ hand was clammy against mine and then he shook my hand from his. I looked down at the food which was steak.

“I’m sorry about my dad-” I began to whisper towards Peter. “I didn’t know you guys knew-”

“So, Peter…” My dad spoke up, catching our attention. “How long have you two been… a thing?” He asked.

“A-About… Eight months…” My dad growled at Peter’s answer.

“Sooo… How was work, dad?” I asked. I could tell Peter was tense so I put my hand on his knee and he slowly loosened up.

“It was-” He sliced his knife hard through the steak and the knife made a clang against the plate. “Good…” Peter gulped beside me.

“So, Peter… Does Y/N know? About the internship?” I could tell my dad was staring at Peter without even looking up.

“Uh… Um… Yeah…” My eyes looked up at my dad.

“I thought I told you not to involve anyone you cared about.” He said as he calmly set down his silverware.

“S-She accidentally found out- Mr. Stark.”

“I’m gonna kick your ass, Parker.” Peter tensed up again.

“Dad!” I yelled. Both boys looked my way. “Why can’t you just accept that Peter and I are dating and you can’t just be an asshole to him. It’s hurting me too!” I looked at Peter and he weakly smiled.

“I’m sorry honey… I’m just… Mad at Peter at the moment.” He mumbled. It clicked in my mind that Peter said he had gotten his suit taken away. I leaned towards Peter.

“Did he take away your suit?” I whispered to him.

“Yeah…” I giggled and then sighed.

“I have two children on my hands.” Peter nodded in agreement.

“Are you calling me a child, Peter?”

“No- No sir! I- was…” Peter hurriedly grabbed his water and started drinking from it to avoid the question.

“Listen- I’m totally fine with you two dating but I have some rules.” My dad held up one finger. “One- no sex.” I heard a choking sound from Peter and he coughed up some water. I guess we already broke rule number one. My dad didn’t even care and went on with the rules as Peter tried to regain breaths. “Two- mainly to you Peter- If you break her heart I really am going to kick your ass.”

“Yes, M-Mr. Stark.” Peter gasped and I patted his back.

“Three- no kissing in front of me. Four- If something happens to her you’re going to do everything you possibly can to get her back.”

“I would be doing that anyways even if you wouldn’t have told me too… Sir! S-sir…” My father rolled his eyes and his watch beeped.

“I have to go do something.” He pushed his seat back and started walking towards me. He kissed the top of my head and then looked at Peter. He just stared at him for a second. “Don’t expect me to kiss you either. I’m mad at you.” He turned around and walked out the door. Peter let out all the air he was holding in.

“Jesus- Christ. That was the most terrifying I’ve ever done.” We both laughed quietly and then leaned back in our chairs.

“I’m sorry- I thought that would have gone a lot better.” He shrugged.

“I mean… you could make it up to me.” He smirked down at me.

“Hm… do you want to break one of my dads rules?” I asked.

“What!? No! He might murder me!”

“Even if it’s rule number one?” I bit my lip and he whimpered.

“I-I think I could live with that…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: who wouldn’t wanna break rule number one with Peter ‘fuck me’ Parker

i watched a bunch of the new SU episodes with my dad earlier today and here were some of his comments about them

“Has the animation of this show changed? It looks crisper” he meant that it looked less like it was hand drawn and more like it was digitally animated

“Steven fucked up again” his exact words when it was revealed that steven gave out the list of humans to peridot by aquamarine

“That was sad” at the ending of I Am My Mom

his thoughts on some of the characters

Aquamarine - annoying and creepy

Topaz - very butch and interesting (topaz is my dad’s birthstone btw)

The Diamonds - very intimidating villains (also since my dad is a musician and knows a ton about broadway i made sure to tell him that yellow diamond was voiced by patti lupone the moment she showed up, because i knew he would find that cool)

The Zircons - funny comic relief characters

i haven’t showed him Off Colors and Lars’ Head yet but when i do show them to him i’ll update this post with his thoughts on the those eps

The signs as things I've done while drunk
  • Aries: stole an entire bottle of champagne from my friends, ran, and drank the whole thing by myself under a tree
  • Taurus: asked my friends parents if I could make weed brownies as a joke and they said yes
  • Gemini: talked to a friend about the universe for an entire hour in some random person's yard at 2 am
  • Cancer: held my friends hair back while she threw up, put pj's on her, and tucked her into bed
  • Leo: danced on a bar in front of a wall that said "fuck yeah" with an American flag
  • Virgo: made plans with a complete stranger to go see Niagara Falls (I live in Florida)
  • Libra: when my dad's girlfriend asked for a lighter, I misheard her and ran to my room and grabbed my weed because I thought she said "light up" let's just say my dad wasn't happy
  • Scorpio: kissed three guys within the span of 2 hours
  • Sagittarius: went driving with friends (a sober person was driving dw) and had a titanic moment through my sun roof by myself (it was magical)
  • Capricorn: destroyed two grown ass men in beer pong my first time playing
  • Aquarius: went to a party with a friend when we heard a girl say "hey are we going skiing tonight?" (aka doing coke). My friend and I just looked at each other and got tf out of there
  • Pisces: grabbed a blanket and fell asleep in about 10 different places in my friend's house
4

Happy Mother’s Day!! 💕👑

Ahh, what can I say about my little Frenchie? This little light skinned lady has done so much for me and I feel like I can never do enough to thank her for everything. She and my dad had me when they were really young and they’ve both done a bomb ass job raising me but we’re not here to talk about my dad. That’s what Father’s Day is for 😂 My mom constantly drives me crazy with her goofiness and her motherliness but she’s also the reason why I haven’t gone bat shit crazy over the past 21 years. She’s gotten me through a lot of things and I am super grateful. She always has my back and I don’t think I could’ve dreamt of or wished for a greater mom. Thanks for all you’ve done Ara! 💕

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there, existing and soon-to-be! You all deserve the world today and always 💕

max: i want david to officially adopt me so i can hate him for a reason other than how annoying he is

neil: what would that reason be?

max: if he’s my dad that means i can rebel against him in a more satisfying way. when gets mad at me i can then justifiably yell “i hate you dad!” because he’s trying to quell my youthful free spirit.

neil:….

neil: and i thought my relationship with my dad was messed up

psst if you’re an artist remember to back up your brush settings/references/textures/etc somewhere from time to time!! you never know what could happen to your computer and it would be a shame to lose it all!

I can’t believe I came out to my mother yesterday and she brought up the time when I was three years old and spent an entire year wearing boys clothes and calling myself Edward after the train from Thomas the tank engine but sometimes SHE FORGETS THE NAMES OF HER OWN CHILDREN

4

Charmed meme: optional scenes [2/?]
↳ Cheaper By The Coven (7x03)

actual sweetheart Victor Bennett smiling sweetly to himself at his little girls bickering

 

The Science Fair

Words: 1357
Peter Parker X Reader / Tony Stark X Daughter! Reader
Prompt:
request from @jessie-ohler “ Can I have a tony stark x daughter!reader and Peter Parker x reader? You can have whatever you want in it.”

Reader is Tony Stark’s Daughter and best friends with Peter Parker. Things start to get really interesting when Peter asks the reader to be his partner for the Science Fair, when what he really wanted all along was to be her boyfriend! 

(Written with Tom Holland Spiderman in mind but could just as easily be Andrew Garfield or your favorite Spiderman. Not my gif.)


“Hey Stark, wait up!” You’d been rushing through the halls trying to get to your next class on time when your best friend called out to you. Peter Parker had been your best friend since your Freshman year of high school together. He was always dropping things and fumbling around at school but what he lacked in social skills he more than made up for with his genius IQ. “Sorry to keep you,” He apologized. “But I was wondering if you’d be my partner for the Science Fair?”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with you wanting to come over and borrow my dad’s state of the art lab again, would it?” You winked at him.

“W-what?” He stammered. “No! I mean maybe a little. But we had so much fun the last time!”

“The last time when we almost burned the place down?” You reminded him.

Keep reading

No chimichangas, No Thank You
  • Wade Wilson: Petey, you're gonna abso-FUCKING-LUTELY LOVE THIS PLACE!!! I swear to god almighty they make the best, most perfect chimichangas you have ever had in your entire life.
  • Peter Parker: [hums an affirmative, holding Wade's hand as they cross the street to the restaurant] You're gushing, Wade!
  • Wade Wilson: Only because this place deserves it!!!
  • Peter Parker: It will be nice to have real food for once! [slides into a booth]
  • Wade Wilson: [continues to gush until the waiter delivers drinks they ordered] May we please have two of your finest chimichangas?
  • Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry, sirs! We no longer serve those anymore. Not enough people were buying them.
  • Peter Parker: I'm sorry, Wade! But we can order sketching else. Let's see here-- [picks up the menu, about to take a sip of his drink]
  • Wade Wilson: [stands up and pulls his boyfriend's drink back] DO NOT TAKE A SIP OF THAT COKE, PARKER!!! WE ARE NOT PAYING A CENT TO THIS ESTABLISHMENT!! I PROMISED YOU CHIMICHANGAS AND WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO MAKE THIS KIND OF GRAVE MISTAKE!
  • Peter Parker: [covers face with his hands] Wade, it's okay!!!! Let's just go!! [starts herding him out of the restaurant repeating strings of apologies to the people around them after surreptitiously placing some money on the table]
MONSTA X Bodyguard Jooheon 'Salt and Iron'

anon asked: bodyguard drabble expansion for my baby joohoney pls? 😍 thank you!

A/N: Hi honey! I hope you like it. ^^ WARNING: Brief descriptions of violence.

This is a drabble expansion of a reaction I did here.

On the surface, Jooheon seemed like a great guard. He possessed the stony exterior, the cold hard look in his eyes. But it wasn’t long before you recognized it was all posturing, that the tough front hid a tender heart. Although he knew all the tricks of the trade and was impressively proficient, there was a huge difference between being protective and aggressive. And in that gap lie the opportunity to get him killed. 

So you figured maybe bodyguard work wasn’t for him. There was no reason to lose someone as talented as he was, so you made him an aide. Your right hand man so to speak. When you explained the change in position he looked dismayed, like he’d failed. 

Not unkindly, you explained yourself. “Jooheon. You’re not cut out for that kind of work. I mean, even bugs scare you. Why did you want to be a guard anyway?”

Embarrassed he ducked his head. “My dad. He thought it would toughen me up.”

“Toughness doesn’t have anything to do with violence. C’mon, I’ll show you what I need and you’ll be too busy to feel bad.”

And he was. Over the next year the two of you were together day and night. He pretty much became indispensable. All the energy he’d poured into being a guard now went toward helping you. Long hours led to meals shared and stories told. Sometimes it felt like the only one you could really be yourself with was him. It just felt good to be around him.

Keep reading

Guren: How many times have I told you to stop fighting in school? Damn brat… /grumbling while getting the disinfectant and bandages ready

Yuu: Tch you’re not my mom