my dad taught me

anonymous asked:

bedroom shotgun? ufyh reblogged your cleaning pics and im a little curious about the story, if you feel comfortable sharing.

Not much of one to tell! Because I’m kinda small, my dad taught me to shoot at 10 when I’d be able to handle the kick of guns without getting scared. I was taught to field strip pistols on a timer, how to clean guns, how to disarm an armed assailant, etc… When I was 18 my father got an antique stagecoach rossi 20g shotgun, took it apart, gave it to me in pieces wrapped up and said that if I could put it together I could have it. It was my first time touching a stagecoach but since it’s only 3 pieces I figured it out pretty quick. 

Now that I have my own apartment, the gun is mine and is with me. I live in an area of bad crime– the building right next to me was actually broken into and set on fire by people I went to school with and one person died. Another person around here fatally stabbed his pregnant girlfriend. We also just had a couple from my city going around and breaking into houses and cars, etc… this is daily.

So as a result I have my shotgun by my bed. It’s not loaded, but I have a box of shells right by and my door is reinforced… so if someone began to try breaking in, it would give me some time to load my gun and make them fuck off. 

“My dad was my English teacher in middle school. He taught me a lot, but it was embarrassing as hell. One time my sister and I made him a custom ringtone, and he forgot to put his phone on vibrate, so it starts ringing during class, and the ringer is my voice saying: ‘Daddy, pick up the phone! Daddy, pick up the phone! Daddy, pick up the phone!’ It was awful.”

I’m gonna take this April Fools Day to tell you about my favorite trick that my dad taught me as a kid.

So I was around ten at the time and my dad was trying to get us off of our newfangled game boys and pocket monsters by challenging us to jump a broomstick, aka jumping over a broomstick while holding the broomstick without letting go of the broomstick. Details aren’t TOO important but what is important is that there was a broomstick involved.

As one of my friends finally makes it over the stick, we hear water start running, followed by my dad carefully carrying a wet pie tin our way. He got up on a chair and told us he was going to show us a really neat trick where you tape a pie tin full of water up to the ceiling for a while and something cool is supposed to happen. My dad has to go get the tape from across the room, so he asks my friend to hold up the pie tin with his broomstick, since my dad was the only one tall enough to reach the ceiling. My friend agrees and uses the broomstick to hole the pie tin against the ceiling.

And then my dad just leaves him there, holding a pie tin full of water up against the ceiling with a broomstick, and he starts laughing. He had moved the chair and instructed us not to help him. Of course I was freaking out because my mom was a neat freak and would probably lose her mind if water got everywhere.

After a few minutes of being trapped under the pie tin for a solid five minutes, my friend came up with a plan to shift the broomstick to a certain angle so that all the water that spilled out would go somewhere that my mom wouldn’t have a panic attack. Best case, we could launch the pie tin at dad. But right as we tried to shift it, we lost balance in some way, and the pie tin came falling down straight toward us.

And that was when we learned that my dad had only pretended to fill it with water.

Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off and if you hate how he acts when he’s out of it, you’ll hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.
—  Something my dad taught me
9

Women directed March U.S. releases

March 2
Songs My Brothers Taught Me dir. Chloé Zhao (LIMITED)

March 4
Trapped dir. Dawn Porter (LIMITED)

March 11
River of Grass dir. Kelly Reichardt (LIMITED) re-release
City of Gold dir. Laura Gabbert (LIMITED) 
Lolo dir. Julie Delpy (LIMITED)
Yaloms Cure dir. Sabine Gisiger (LIMITED)

March 16
Miracles From Heaven dir. Patricia Riggen (WIDE)

March 18
The Brainwashing of My Dad dir. Jen Senko (LIMITED) 
Sweet Bean dir. Naomi Kawase (LIMITED)

March 25
The Invitation dir. Karyn Kusama (LIMITED + VOD)  Moved to April 8

PEOPLE OF FALLOUT 4: IN A NUTSHELL
  • (by request!!)
  • Hancock:dont do drugs kiddos *does drugs
  • Maccready:kills people (with dad jokes probably)
  • Nick:classy noire cop
  • Deacon:official spy kid
  • Paladin Danse:outstanding tin can man
  • Strong:Shakespeare fights
  • Cait:ill bunch a bee i dont give a fuck
  • Piper:i have news trust me its good this time
  • X6 88:let me die yall so dumb
  • Curie:science baguette
  • Preston:i have word of another settlement that needs our help
  • Dogmeat:bork bork
  • Codsworth:!!!! shALL I ACCOMPANY U SIR/MUM??
  • Maxson:destroy my ass ahem i mean synths
  • Desdemona:careful our synthy cover could be blown
  • Father:so, hear me out....the commonwealth is shit
  • Sturges:mY daD TAUGht Me hOw to bUiLd
  • Mama Murphy:ok so the drugs told me that-
  • Glory:listen here u shitdick u fucking take another one of my jobs i will end u
  • Travis Miles:i wish death would fall upon me
  • me:....I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.......
  • me:*steals my dad's phone to play pokemon go*
  • dad:hey kiddo i need to go to work so give me my-
  • me:*runs out of the back door* OH SHIT GOTTA CHECK OUT THAT GYM PRONTO
  • dad:???????¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ *PROCEEDS TO CHASE AFTER ME*
7

I play bass. I play a bit of guitar. I’ve never been to a lesson, so my theory of music is non-existent in any instrument, but we always had guitars around.
My dad taught me to play drums for Love Actually, and I still play drums now. But I’m not a “drummer.”
I’m not a “guitarist.” I’m trying to be a bassist. 

The Signs as 50% Off Makoto Quotes

Aries: “I think Haru should be the captain.  I like him in those positions… of leadership!”

Taurus: “Look, if Kou wants to sit around drawing Steven Universe fanart instead of contributing anything useful to society, I say we let her.”

Gemini: “Haru, I got your favourite: Mackerel.  At least I think it’s your favourite.  Look at him, working hard, all sweaty.  He doesn’t even know I’m watching him.  Yeah…” [unzips his pants]

Cancer:  “Come on, Haru! You can do me! It! It. You can do it.”

Leo: “Don’t worry, Rei.  This swimming stuff is easy.  My dad taught me to swim when I was little.  We went white water rafting and he just pushed me right out.  Heh, I hit so many rocks.  Ya know how they say sticks and stones can break your bones? Yeah, that’s not just a phrase.” [Rei explodes]

Virgo: “Okay! It’s gonna be an easy swim from Camp Keating-Keating…” [Spanish accent] “From Camp Keating, to the nuclear test island, all the way to the town of Witchpyre, and then finally back here to Fantasy Island.”

Libra: “I think we could all use some time off-to try on new swimsuits, in tight changing rooms, with tight… tight swimsuits… Oh, look, I can use my rudder now.”

Scorpio:  “Is this a regular flashback? Or a sexy flashback?” [sexual music plays] “Oooh, sexy flashback.”

Sagittarius: “I wet the bed one time, Nagisa! And now I can’t find my copy of Okami.  Am I a dog? Am I the sun? I’ll never know!”

Capricorn: “Rookie mistake, Nagisa.  You have to be extra quiet so they don’t know you’re there.  I even practiced breathing techniques, so Haru can’t hear me.”

Aquarius: “Uh, hey, Rei.  Take your sass, put it in your pocket.”

Pisces:  “And then Crowley handcuffed Dean to the chair, roughly straddling his–whoooa, okay.  Let’s just, uh… let’s put that one in the ol’ backpack for safe keeping.”

8

I’m different from other drummers because I talk to the audience a lot. I’m very loud to the crowd. I’m the rock'n'roll voice at the back of the band. My grandpa is my hero, too. I’ve never had a dad, but he’s sort of been my dad. He’s a very wise guy. He taught me that it’s okay to be human sometimes. I put a lot of pressure on myself when I was younger to take care of my brother and sister when times were tough with mum. He told me that it was okay to be upset about it, to feel things and not be a brick wall the time.

Dave Grohl. He’s conquered the world with his music and vision, and I really look up to that. I’d love to do some guitar and sing like he does. Who knows? I’m different from other drummers because I talk to the audience a lot. I’m very loud to the crowd. I’m the rock'n'roll voice at the back of the band. My grandpa is my hero, too. I’ve never had a dad, but he’s sort of been my dad. He’s a very wise guy. He taught me that it’s okay to be human sometimes. I put a lot of pressure on myself when I was younger to take care of my brother and sister when times were tough with mum. He told me that it was okay to be upset about it, to feel things and not be a brick wall the time.