All I want for Christmas is you….tied up in my bed
Getting to spend your first Christmas with Niall is everything you dreamed it be, maybe even more…
I don’t know what to tag this as, but FAIR WARNING NIALL USES HANDCUFFS ON HIS S.O. and also a daddy kink
merry christmas to you all, unless you don’t celebrate it then I’m sorry i said that
“I can’t believe you’re making us wear these tacky sweaters just to open up presents,” I roll my eyes as I sit down on the carpet floor next to our Christmas tree. This was our second Christmas together, and Niall, my boyfriend, went all out for this year. Last year we couldn’t spend the holidays together due to each other’s work schedules, but over the year I moved in with Niall and transferred jobs so nothing could keep us away from each other which is a good thing since we both like annoying each other.
The smell of a Bruce spruce filled my nostrils as I sat criss-crossed next to our real tree on this Christmas Eve night. I never had a real tree since my mom was allergic to them, but now looking at the tree that both Niall and I picked out together, I felt a sense of pride overwhelming me. Niall and I also decorated the tree together, stringing lights around its stems and poking our fingers with needles as we strung popcorn on fishing wire. The only arguments that we had while sprucing up the tree was where the ornaments should go. Niall wanted the silver balls to go next to the gold ones and the red and green ones go together, but I insisted that that each color combination should be different but no two same colors should be next to each other.
“Fine you have it your way and I’ll have it mine,” Niall huffed, placing two silver and gold ornaments next to each other.
“Okay, but your side is going in the back so no one sees it,” I winked and kissed gingerly on the cheek.
“What are ya sayin’? My side’s ugly or somethin’?” Niall looks at me from the corners of his eyes. He was wearing an ugly Christmas sweater that his cousin Deo gave him last year as a gag gift.
“No, not at all, baby,” I lied, “It’s just not ideal to look at is all.”
I’ve been keeping caterpillars since late this summer, and they’d all turned into chrysalises for the winter. One had already come out but I didn’t see it. My dad found it and set the butterfly free. (He did send me pictures.)
This morning I came down to find another butterfly out!
I put it outside so it can fly off whenever it’s dry.
this is my mom. My mom has a disease which is called “morbus crohn” which means that her gut shrinked together and she cannot eat certain things otherwise she gets really bad stomachcramps.
She has had this disease for over 30 years now. And in these 30 years she had 6 operations. For 25 years everything has been fine. But the last 5 years were terrible for her. She had to stop eating less and less each year or she would get cramps. Every 3-6 weeks she had to go to the hospital because of those cramps. Every year over Christmas she had to go to the hospital and stay there for atleast 2 weeks. She lost a lot of weight and was very weak most of the time.
But my mom stayed positive.
Last year in September we went on a short vacation. Which was terrible for her. She had cramps the whole time and she decided for herself that she needed to go to the hospital even though she was terrified that anything could go wrong.
She had her first operation and after that everything seemed to be fine.
BUT 4 days later when she was supposed to go back home something went wrong and she needed to have another operation which didn’t help at all. My moms situation got worse and worse. But my mom stayed positive.
I remember visiting her on one of her worst days. (Picture above) I told myself that i won’t cry because i wanted to make her laugh. The second i walked in and saw her i cried so much. I think i never cried so much in my entire life.
She was so weak, she had to throw up every 5 minutes. She felt so much pain but she kept smiling at me . Believe me seeing someone you love in so much pain is the worst feeling in the world. My mom is my best friend.
She went through another operations and another. The doctor was helpless and didn’t know what to do.
He told my dad:“ there is a high possibility that your wife will die any minute. I don’t know how long she will keep doing like that and i don’t know what to do else. We tried everything.
But my mom didn’t give up. The doctor asked other doctors invited different experts to look at her.
Before my mom went through her last operation she told my dad that she will win this for us. She said and i swear she did: i’ll leave the woods today. This is the day. I know it and next week i’ll be home with you.“
And that’s what happened. Every day she felt better and better. She gained weight and after 1 ½ weeks she was allowed to come home.
Why am i writing this? Because OOTW became a song about my mom.
ESPECIALLY the bridge.
“Remember when you hit the brakes too soon” After the first Operation we thought everything was already fine.
“Twenty stitches in a hospital room” my mom got 23 stitches.
“When you started crying
Baby, I did too
But when the sun came up
I was looking at you”
The day i visited her. We both cried but she told ne she will win this fight.
“Remember when we couldn’t take the heat
I walked out, I said “I’m setting you free” “ My dad and i both were terrified that she might die but told her that if she can’t keep going because the pain is too much, she should let go.
"But the monsters turned out to be just trees”
The disease was a monster but couldn’t kill my mom. The disease turned out to be just trees.
“When the sun came up
You were looking at me.”
When everything was over she looked at me and I knew everything was going to be fine.
The picture was taken today my mom is happy and she has so much life in herself and part of it i am thanking you Taylor.
If OOTW did not excist i think i would have been very negative and scared my mom was in the hospital.
The Song helped me to stay hopeful and it helped my mom to stay positive.
This song turned out to mean so much for us.
Whoever is reading is please be nice to your mom because someday you will miss her telling you for the 5th time to clean your room. I know it.
I love you Taylor
And THANK YOU,
Your friend Manu ❤️
P.S. This Post is so Long i am so sorry but i needed to let it out.