my dad likes them a lot

anonymous asked:

not a request but a concept i need someone to roll with: party!dad steve entering a new relation & the kids’ shenanigans trying to make it all happen

I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS KIND OF SHIT WITH MY ROOMMATE

  • okay FIRSTLY the quickest way to get big ass heart eyes from steve is to be okay with the kids because yeah he calls em “dickheads” and “little shits” but he LOVES HIS KIDS
  • so when this new girl he’s lowkey rlly into not only likes the kids but is really really good with them he’s like OH MY GOD
  • i feel like it would involve a lot of drives from school to the arcade when he drops off the kids
    • and they kids are all piled in the backseat and dustin is complaining because “I CALLED SHOTGUN” but you were already sitting shotgun with steve with the windows down
    • and he’s playfully telling em all to “CUT THE SHIT OKAY” like he does but meanwhile you’re laughing along with the kids and talking about video games and ghostbusters and wants to do max’s hair sometime
    • and he just adores that someone else thinks these kids are as fuckin cool as he does
  • and the kids become obsessed with it, because it’s like some The Parent Trap shit where they know you belong together and THEY’RE GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN
    • max probably spends a lot of time with you asking girl advice and lowkey prodding at things you likes and how much you likes steve so she can relay it to dustin, who will have her and lucas and mike set up some really damn cheesy picnic date for you because that’s what they’ve seen in movies so “it has to work”
    • and lets be honest, it probably took a LONG TIME to win over dustin
      • to dustin, steve is his, his friend, his brother. dustin is an only child with one parent in his life, and he’s grumpy and worried that steve getting another girlfriend will push him out of the picture, and that he won’t have steve anymore
      • so he probably spends a lot of time being jealous and evasive with you, which probably results in you trying even harder to win the kid over

        “i have some extra quarters if you want em for the arcade?”
        “are you trying to buy me off????”
        “is it working?”

      • but he’d give in because he wants his Big Brother to be happy
      • so when you and steve actually finally get together (and honestly, it erupts in a cheer from the entire party), dustin starts to jokingly call you “mom”
      • you don’t totally hate it :)

SEND ME THINGS :)

i work as an actor at a haunted house and this little girl who was dressed as a cat came through she saw me and was like “no thank you please dont get closer i am already scared” and i was like alright i appreciate the good manners ill back off. so her dad picks her up and starts going down the rest of my dark hall and i just hear her yell “everybody wait! i dropped my ears” so i find them and give them to her dad and she goes “thank you but i hope i never see you again goodbye” and waved over her dads shoulder. i waved back and she gave me a thumbs up. honestly this kid has a lot of guts and props for being so polite when shes terrified i hope she gets a lot of candy this year

My uncle once won first place in a lying contest, and I feel like this is a rare true story that needs to be told. So here it is.

My family, for as long as I can remember, has had these “adopted uncles” who are my mom and dad’s friends from college/highschool. There’s like five of them, and none of them are related to us. They are awesome, fun guys, and I’m best friends with their daughters (of the ones that have kids). I love hanging out with them, and when I do, I hear lots of hilarious stories that they and my Dad love to recollect whenever they’re together.

My uncles are interesting guys, and there are a lot of interesting stories. One of them is part of a well known band, one of them hung out with Taylor Swift on several occasions, and one worked on the Power Rangers. It’s all very interesting. But I think one of the funniest stories they’ve told me, far from meeting celebrities, or getting lost in the woods, or luring bears into their campsite (yep, they did that) is how one of them (let’s call him S) won a lying contest. This is how it went:

S and my dad, and some of his friends decided to go up into the mountains for a day. They drove up the winding roads, pine trees flashing past their windows, singing to Tom Petty the whole way. My dad and S have a great sense of humor, and I’m sure they were both in a laughable mood.

When they got to their destination, they saw a large banner over the road that read “Annual Lying Contest.” I kid you not. This little town in the piney mountains was so devoid of excitement that they legiterally hosted a Lying Contest every year.

My dad and S thought this was the FUNNIEST thing they had ever seen. They HAD to go watch the contest take place. They pulled into the parking lot, found their way to the stage, and asked someone about what was happening.

Apparently, the lying contest is an annual contest put on by the city, to see who had the most believable lie. Contestants would spend months coming up with elaborate lies, that were sure to convince people in the crowd. At the end, the judges would rank the lies on most convincing to least convincing. The winner of the contest recieved a home baked pie, and some other prize. Some of these lies could take fifteen minutes or more (remember this).

So anyways, S and my dad found a seat, and were ready to hear some lies. Later, my dad told me that it was hilarious to watch. There were lies about Bigfoot sightings, about bear wrestlings, army experiences, ghost hauntings, and more. My dad and S were cracking up the whole time, while marveling at how unique the demographic of the town was to enjoy something like this.

Finally, the last contestant stepped down from the stage after a 20 minute elaborate lie about an alien abduction. The judges took a sweeping look over the crowd, and spoke loudly into the microphone; “are there any other contestants?”

Before my dad could stop him, S stood up and raised his hand.

“Well, come up sir!” 

S climbed the steps to the stage. He looked over the crowd seriously, and desperately tried to come up with a lie in time. His mind was blank. Empty. But S had no shame, and I’ve known him long enough to know this was 100% something he would do. The man throws himself into every awkward situation ever.

He took a step towards the microphone. His hands were clasped in front of him. He looked around at the people watching, the trees surrounding them, and said in his most serious voice into the mic;

“I was born a fish.”

That was it. The audience lost it. There was no build up, no elaborate detail, no story behind the lie. Just 1 ½ seconds, and he had told his entire lie. It was hilariously short, and there was no plot holes, or inconsistencies. Just purely, seriously, “I was born a fish.”

S left the stage in the midst of roaring laughter, as the audience, judges, and my dad tried to contain themselves. It was one of his proudest moments, that one second lie.

And guess what? He won first place.

First. Place.

A true inspiration, imo.

8

The start of Infinity War, probably. Welcome to the wonderful world of having shitty big brothers who pick on you, Peter~

Inspired by basically any interview starring Holland with Mackie and/or Stan :P

image description below the cut:

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procraesthetics  asked:

I wonder what would happen if Dudley grew up in the wizarding world but still as a muggle? like kind of reverse AU where his parents are dead and he has to go to Lily for whatever reason? do you think he would become bitter like Petunia about magic?

Lily remembered her sister, how there had been a time she was curious and delighted about magic, before it slowly sank in that she could look and not touch.

The last thing Petunia had said to Lily before she died was a chilly goodbye, ending a holiday dinner where they’d had a shrieking row in the entryway. Petunia had said freak and Lily had hissed better than this, better than this being my whole fucking world, Tune, do you even see yourself, are you happy–

And now here was Dudley Vernon Dursley fussing himself to sleep as Lily walked the halls of the Godric’s Hollow house. His tiny soft hands with their tiny soft fingernails curled under her chin, the same way Harry always had.

She passed James, who was gently bouncing his way up the hall the opposite way. “I think he’s asleep,” James mouthed over Harry’s tousled head. His hair was the same mess, bent down to peer at his sleeping son.

Lily stopped where she stood, her nephew heavy on her chest, her husband smiling, her sister buried. “James,” she said. “How are we going to do this?”

“Oh,” he said. “Hey. Don’t you cry, you’ll start them off– unless you need to cry, I mean, you go ahead, hey, sweetheart, hey, it’s alright, you just let it out.” He stepped forward, shifting Harry gently to his other shoulder, and pressed his forehead to hers. “We tuck them in, okay, that’s what we do next. Then we go to our own bed, okay, and go to sleep, and when we wake up it’ll be a new day.”

“A new day,” she said. “Another day– James, that’s the– I’m so tired.”

“So let’s sleep. It’ll look better in the morning,” he said. “And if it doesn’t look better this morning, it’ll look better in the next one.”

“You promise?”

“Better than that. I’ll show you. Every day,” he said and kissed her cold forehead.

Dudley had not shown up on the Potters’ doorstep with the milk bottles. Lily had gotten a phone call from the landline she still had installed in Godric’s Hollow, about an accident, and she had gone down to the Muggle police station to identify the bodies.

The cupboard under the stairs was filled with spiders, broomsticks, and the sewing machine Lily’s mother had given her when she married James– that’s all. Dudley slept downstairs. Uncle Remus taught Dudley and Harry to knock out coded messages through the wall their rooms shared.

In the backyard, beside a rickety porch and an ambitious hedge, James taught them to fly– first on little tot brooms where their toes brushed the grass the whole time, then out of the barrels of practice brooms James used for lessons and coaching Little League Quidditch.

When the boys turned ten, five weeks apart, they both got shiny new Nimbuses on Dudley’s birthday (which came first), and a set of enchanted Quidditch balls on Harry’s, to share. The Bludgers were enchanted to be very kind but Dudley spent long afternoons whacking them far afield while Harry chased the Snitch at his back.

Harry had a scar on his forehead, like a jagged bit of lightning. Dudley had no scars– the car crash that had killed his parents hadn’t touched him where he sat strapped into a car seat in the back, chewing on a stuffed dinosaur toy.

Lily did not believe in lying to the children. She was bare years off being a child herself, and spare moments on the far side of a war. When Dudley asked about his parents, she told him there had been an accident. She pulled pictures off the shelf and wrote Petunia’s old university friends for more.

Photographs came by mailman, the images still and unnatural to Dudley’s eye. Every day he’d gone out to play, for years, he’d been waving at the picture near the back door of his aunt and uncle on their wedding day, and they waved back every time.

“She was very clever,” Lily said. “Your mom liked to know everything.”

“And my dad?”

“Vernon liked… cars?” James offered. “That’s the word, right, Lily?”

“I didn’t know him very well,” Lily said. “He liked drills, I think; he worked for a firm that made them, and he talked about that a lot.”

Dudley brushed his thumbs over the dull edges of the photos. When Lily went off to Auror headquarters the next morning for work, James bundled the boys up and took them on an impromptu invisible tour of Grunnings Drill Manufacturing Inc.

They tiptoed down halls and past water coolers and ringing fellytones. They held hands under the Cloak as they dodged around the machines on the manufacturing floor, thumping and pounding and whirring away loudly enough that Harry and Dudley could whisper to each other under the noise. An elevator took them all the way up to the top floor. Harry whistled cheerily and eerily along with the elevator music while the Muggles slowly edged toward the doors and pressed floor buttons lower than they’d originally wanted.

There were boxes and cabinets and folders and desks and staticky monitor screens full of numbers strewn in endless grids. “Merlin’s knuckles,” said Harry, who was seven and a half and rather proud of this expletive. “People can look at this all day, their whole lives, and not die?”

“Work is hard work,” said James.

“At least mum gets to curse things.”

“But my dad liked it?” Dudley said, peering at a white board that was bleeding enthusiastic marker. “There’s a lot of things, here. Maybe he liked knowing things, too.”

When the boys asked about the scar on Harry’s forehead, Lily and James looked at each other. “You know how sometimes we sit with Uncle Remus and talk about a war?” James said. “Or with Ms. Amelia or Mr. Mundungus.”

“Mr. Mundungus is kinda smelly,” Harry said helpfully.

“It’s not nice to say so though,” said James, and Lily made a face.

“Are we raising them to be nice?” Lily said.

“I’m trying,” said James.

“You talk about a war,” said Harry and shrugged. Dudley nodded.

“There was a very bad man, in those days,” said James.

“Voldemort,” said Lily, and James made a face.

“He was so scary a lot of people don’t like to say his name, even now,” said James. “And he was coming after us because we had been fighting against him, in the war. He came to the house and he tried to hurt you, Harry. But it didn’t work. It hurt him instead, and gave you that scar.”

“Is he going to come back?” said Dudley, who was paler than his normal pink.

“No one’s heard of him since then,” said Lily.

“Where were you?” said Harry, because all his life they had been right there.

“Oh,” said Lily, but her throat closed up.

“We were at Dudley’s mum and dad’s funeral,” said James. “Our friend– our friend Sirius was watching you two. The bad man, he came to the house. He. Well. I.”

“Sirius died,” said Lily, one hand squeezing James’s knee and the other reaching down to brush hair off Dudley’s forehead. “You lived, Harry, and Voldemort vanished. And that’s why sometimes people stare in the streets, baby.” James tweaked Harry’s collar absently.

Two days after they had buried Lily’s sister, the Potters had stood together in the first chills of November and buried James’s brother.

Sirius had been burned off the Black family tree years before. Lily and James had talked to his cousin Andromeda, to Remus, and then they had laid him to rest in the Potter family plot. At the wake, they’d told old jokes about squirrel breath, shedding, and man’s best friend. Remus had fallen asleep on their couch and stayed for a month.

It took a two hour row with HR for Lily to get two passes to the Ministry’s Bring Your Kid To Work Day.

“He’s a Muggle.”

“He’s not,” Lily snapped. “He’s family.”

She had to get permission, sign a million forms, and she also had to take the boys in early so that Dudley could get smothered in the spells that would keep the Anti-Muggle wards around the Ministry from activating on him. “If a Muggle stumbles in somehow, they just see a funny-smelling supply cabinet and turn back around,” Lily told Dudley. He nodded and dragged Harry off by the wrist to go look at the fountain.

The windows were pouring sunlight into the underground room– the maintenance workers had just gotten a win on their contract negotiations and had banished the grimy rain-spattered windows of the previous weeks. The light hit the falling water, the golden statues, and the small excitable crowd of Ministry dependents who were gathering in the atrium. Dudley was fishing about in the fountain for Knuts to toss back out again, elbow-deep, and Harry was laughing and coming up with weird wishes to make on them.

Lily hadn’t said son. She’d said family, and that was true enough, wasn’t it? She didn’t say son– she had a son, and she had a nephew, a ward, another child who came to her after nightmares and scraped knees. It was not less, it was just words.

Lily worried about stealing more things from Petunia. Tuney had shrieked at her, in ladies’ restrooms and suburban foyers, had hissed at her in grocery store aisles and family dinners, because Lily got everything. And now Lily had her son.

Lily could just imagine it– could just see Petunia’s face twisting and chin stabbing at the air. You could have anything, and you took my son– my son!

“You left him to me,” Lily whispered, but that wasn’t quite right. “You left,” she whispered, and that wasn’t quite right either, so she strode off toward the fountain to ask the boys if they wanted to go see the Auror spellwork ranges. Dudley’s sodden shirt sleeves dripped all over the Ministry floors. Harry’s hair fell down into his eyes and they both grinned bright enough to rival the spelled sunlight.

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notdoingmywork  asked:

What was the point of the story Coraline? Because the first time I ever saw it, it was a DVD birthday gift from my mother, given with the description, "I saw this movie and thought of you, because the little girl in the movie is an ungrateful daughter like you are." I haven't been able to watch it more than once since then, and I keep finding mixed interpretations...

The point of it was to write a story for my daughters to tell them that being brave didn’t mean that you weren’t scared, it meant that you were scared but you did the right thing anyway; that people who give you lots of attention sometimes do not have your best interests at heart while people who give you less attention than you would like may still love you; that it is a good thing to save your family from the darkness, and that you have to forgive your dad if he’s writing things and can’t always stop to play with you.

I’ve not noticed any ungrateful daughters either in the book or in the film. I suspect your mother may be inclined to see them where they do not exist.

Okay but my favourite headcannon in the voltron fandom is where Shiro’s sense of humour is practically the exact same as Lance’s but he’s vowed to never, ever let Lance know about this.


He’s really serious about hiding it from Lance, it’s his soul goal/focus in life

Until the day when he accidentally texts Lance instead of Keith

Space Dad: Keith

Space Dad: my dude

Space Dad: my man

Space Dad: My little brother

Space Dad: My only living family member

Space Dad: My red boy

Space Dad: Hear me out

Space Dad: Next time we meet lotor let’s just dead ass look him in the eye and challenge him to a dance off

Space Dad: He seems like the kinda guy to accept

Space Dad: And u know I’ll win

Space Dad: I got them fly moves

Space Dad: It will be majestic

Space Dad: SHIT

Space Dad: A DANCE BATTLE WITH FUCKING ROLLER SKATES ON

Space Dad: don’t know where we’re gonna get roller skates in space but honestly? Not my problem

Space Dad: Keith why are you ignoring me this is a fantastic idea

Space Dad: How dare you disrespect me like this, today of all days, the day of my daughters wedding

Space Dad: no but why am I imagining lotor just wiping out and then hissing like a fucking cat

Space Dad: galra are a lot like cats

Space Dad: Keith fukc Keith r you a cat

Space Dad: AAGSJS UR A FURRY H E L P

Space Dad: Okay but c'mon patch the furry but at least respond to the dancing roller blade off w/lotor

Space Dad: This is absolutely 100% how u win a war trust me I’ve worn a cool army suit once

Space Dad: oh no ur not Keith fuCK ME BACKWARDS HELLO LANCE

Lance McMeme: what the fuck just happened

"The Shining" Review

Are you scared? The Shining is a movie about being scared in the mountains. It has action, scary, and too long. For those there reasons, that is why The Shining is my favorite movie. I hope you enjoy!

First, action. The Shining has a lot of action. For instance, when they run from Jack who is chasing them. That scene is packed with action. The movie Shining has a lot of action.

Next, scary. If you are scared, Shining is the movie for you. I watched this movie with my uncle because my dad is out of town for business and he said it would be okay to watch. The whole movie I was very scared and I still am scared. If you dad is out of town and you like being scared, this is the movie for you. The Shining is scared.

Finally, too long. The Shining is too long. Your uncle might say that it isn’t too long, but you will know when you watch that it is too long. For instance, when the movie keeps going after he is locked in the kitchen with the food. The Shining is too long.

In conclusion, thank you for reading my review of Shining. It is action, is scary, and it is too long. These are the reasons that make Shining my favorite movie. I hope you watch the Shining and write a review of the movie Shining too. Who knows, maybe you will like the Shining too!

Power Rangers Living Together Headcanon

Created with the help of the lovely @catyz101 and the wonderful @vintagecarter go ahead and give them a follow please.

- Two years after the attack, when the rangers graduate highschool, they decide to build a house together in the mountains near the ship.

-When goldar went down billy managed to save a lot of gold
“Like my dad said, you find it you keep it”
Needless to say they’re fucking loaded.

-Kim and Trini adopted a cat courtesy of her brothers. The twins found him and managed to keep him for a week before their mom found out and he was sent to live with Trini.
“Take care of gato for us”
“Wait you named i-”
“GATO, is in great hands”

-The cat loves everyone but Zack and Jason. Every time the cat cuddles up to Billy “traitor” can be heard faintly whispered through the house.

-Zack goes to the kitchen at 1 in the morning and finds the cat just sitting there staring at him, they have a staring contest for two mintues until he slowly backs away back into his room.

-They rotate dinner every night. They all make something thats authentic to them but the weekends are take out nights. It an unspoken rule of the house

-Zack almost breaking his neck doing a double take on Trini leaving from Kim’s room in the early morning

-“ITS NOT A WALK OF SHAME IF ITS YOUR OWN HOUSE” Kim passing by headed to the kitchen “you are definitely doing the walk of shame babe.”
“KIMBERLY”

-Billy quietly comments from the back “why are you so surprised, thats the 5th time this week.”
“Billy, its tuesday”

- “Hello, yes, i found your number in the yellow pages i was calling to tell you that MY BEST FRIEND JUST GOT LAID also a large pizza please”

-Trini watches a novella one day outta habit, and suddenly Jason and Zack are addicted. “No, trini you cant change the channel we are watching that!”

-Kim puts pink hair dye in her shampoo to figure out who keeps using it. The culprit was Jason…… and Trini

-“Who the fuck put jello in the toilet”
“You see its not actually jello its this silicone-”
“BILLY?!”
“I’ll take it you’re upset with me….”

-Theyre the hardware stores best customer. The owner thinks they own a construction company. He is yet to be corrected

-One day the boys come back from the store early and hear a scream in the house. They all barge in too kims room and walk in on the girls.
“Oh my god GET OUT”
Billy closes his eyes and runs smack into the wall putting a hole in it while jason and Zack are running out dodging pillows.

-“Steve come here girl” “Zack we are not naming our dog Steve” “what about zordon?” “you wanna name my daughter after wall dad? How dare?” “you were about to name her Steve?!” “Personally i thik she looks like a Steve…” “Thank you billy”

-“Oh well if it isnt satan himself coming to visit my room when it does not belong here!” “Guys the cat isnt that bad”
“Billy do not speak on matters that do not concern you”

-“Who taught you savages to do the laundry?” “Trini relax.” “Relax? Jason, Isnt it bad enough my hair is pink but now my white tshirts are too because Zack put your shirts in with mine.”

-“Hey yellow, pink, your hell cat just attacked steve.”
“Do you dare slander my cats good name?! YOU CAN MEET ME IN THE PIT!!”

-They have color coded bath Towels. Zack likes to steal someone elses each week which isnt a problem until he struts out the bathroom in pink towels when Kim’s parents come to visit.

-“I know DAMN well i had last nights episode of Rupauls drag race recorded who DELETED IT?!?” “Sorry Zack that may have been me, but dont worry i have it recorded on my tv too” “Billy, you are my hero”

-Gato steals steves bed all the time and its the leading cause of argument in the house.

- “Satan’s spawn please, my daughters bed is too big for you and she cannot sleep in your small bed” hiss hiss “Okay that was rude” hiiiisss “TRINI! CONTROL YOUR SON AND GET HIM OUTTA MY DAUGHTERS BED RIGHT NOW”

-Fire alarm goes off at six in the morning. Multiple voices are heard screaming “KIM” from 4 seperate rooms

-She was just making toast.

3

17.04.19 fancafe - bts_Rap Monster

00:08
wild flowers game
‘why do cherry blossoms bloom from flowers before the leaves come?’

we arrived late so I wondered if I couldn’t see the cherry blossoms for good this time, but fortunately, I wandered around and looked at them until my hearts content. Thank you for staying !

I was in the midst of enjoying the scenery when my father asked me ‘do you know why the cherry blossoms bloom from flowers and then the leaves come?’.

me head went “ding”. I’ve just simply wanted to see the flowers in full bloom, I’ve never thought about it before. he replied that it was for breeding and survival but I got curious all of a sudden. why do the cherry blossom bloom and fall so quickly. why do the flowers bloom before the leaves sprout? but maybe only the cherry blossom trees know that.

when I look back, there are many many moments like cherry blossoms. Things like your first love from your childhood long ago. New year goals that we don’t remember anymore.. tons of urges that we believed would be a short belief… but I don’t know if they were beautiful moments hehe

ah, and I saw a play for the first time at Daehangno ! I like the first episode that if I was confident I don’t need the assurance of others. These days I’m not writing music and It’s constantly on my mind but, once again, I started to think why I started music. I hope that my melodies and lyrics would comfort many people and help them achieve their dreams.. I thought about it. “why did I start this job?”, “what kind of heart did you have?”

If I have time in the future, I’ll go and watch sometime. I liked it since it had a different approach compared to movies. They were talking right in front of me ! It was a bit new.

when my dad talked about the cherry blossoms my mom was looking at the wildflowers and asked if I liked them because they bloomed so calmly. I like wild flowers but I really like my mothers expression “bloom calmly”. I thought it was lovely way to say it. Above all I was happy to see my parents’ faces till’ my hearts content.

I hope you guys see the wild flowers and play! If you can. I received a lot of comfort from it. I’m gonna have to run hard again. Even though the present is difficult to understand, even after 10 years pass by. Nevertheless, you have to do it. You have to.

maybe we’ll even need wild flowers more than cherry blossoms. that bloom calmly.

trans; @hobuing | do not repost

My input on the Stranger Things kids

Mike: best friend ever. He’s so understanding and supportive of Will and he was always right by his side. After everything he’s been through, he never wavers once and everyone can count on him. Also him waiting for Eleven, literally the sweetest boy ever.

Will: deserves none of what happened to him. It’s unbelievable how much that kid has been through and how strong he still is. Bless him.

Dustin: the sweetest boy. Just wanted a pet and to impress Max. Literally the purest character with a heart of gold. I could go on for ages about how precious he is and he deserves the entire world.

Lucas: my kickass son. All he wanted was for Max to like him and to keep her safe. His playful banter was iconic, he’s just so great. Him and Max with their pet names and their sweet kiss at the end, what cuties.

Eleven: poor baby that has the best intentions. Her relationship with Hopper is so pure, and now he legally adopted her. She had good intentions, even if they don’t work out. Loves her friends and is now back with Mike. God is real.

Max: what a badass. The coolest new character, shes a new fave. Takes no shit and when she stands up to Billy? Number one slay. She’s the iconic skater girl from California and I love her.

Billy: he makes me so mad. The way he treats Max, the boys, and Steve is infuriating. Even so, he doesn’t deserve to be slapped around by his dad the way he was. Reminded me of Henry Bowers from IT.

Steve: the kids new dad. I dig the “don’t care” attitude, but at the same time, he cares so deeply for Nancy and the kids. Best babysitter ever, who in an instant would give himself for them.

Jonathan: my brand new baby. He’s so much more confident. Like that conversation he had with Nancy in the hallway? Iconic. He has actually joking conversations now. Also, he cares about Will so much. Every time Will was in pain Jonathan was too, poor thing. Then when he finally made his move on Nancy, my life was fulfilled.

Nancy: my soft gf who I love lots. Also a major badass who can use a gun like an expert. He new hair is so cute and she is so strong. Although I feel bad for Steve, her and Jonathan are the cutest couple. I just love her with my whole heart.

seventeen first impressions vs now
  • dino then: CUTIE BABY
  • dino now : still a lil nug but lowkey A Man™
  • vernon then: he was my first love in svt
  • vernon now: i love my awkward boyfriend
  • jeonghan then: a girl but a pretty girl
  • jeonghan now: truly such a visual human, thank you God for creating such a beautiful person
  • woozi then: wow he tiny n cute is he like 16?
  • woozi now: still small and fragile but super important and grown up bc he's the producer
  • joshua then: kinda feminine bc his voice is so gentle ?? but he loves jesus so i love him
  • joshua now: PROTECT HIM he is soft but onstage he is Dad
  • mingyu then : he looks so intimidating
  • mingyu now : what a string bean!!
  • wonwoo then : if wonwoo punched me in the face i still wouldn't be able to identify him
  • wonwoo now : i want wonwoo to punch me in the face
  • s coups then : he's strange looking
  • s coups now : he's my actual father, please adopt me seungcheol
  • hoshi then : wait isn't that woozi?? all these squishy boys with cute names what the heck
  • hoshi now : important and talented lil bub!!! also he lowkey looks like xiumin from exo
  • jun then : PRETTY also a vampire
  • jun now: honestly still pretty, still a vampire, but he's always so done with life what a relatable guy
  • the8 then : he has a striking nose?? ahah idk why i noticed that first
  • the8 now : my precious son!!!! he's so soft n quiet and i love him!!!
  • seungkwan then : woah he looks like a dad
  • seungkwan now : he's only one year older than me and funny as heck ! i want to be his best friend he's so fun
  • dk then : that is a handsome man right there, he's gotta be the oldest
  • dk now : someone please stop my 12 year old son from embarrassing himself
4

Voltron Time lords AU

I just couldn’t get this damn AU off my mind, so here we are 

1. todd’s GIANT saucer eyes when he tells dirk how much he values and believes in him and the work they do

2. dirk being aware that they’re so uninhibited bc they’re tripping supernatural balls but not caring bc what todd just said to him is the most important thing in his life

3. farah jumping in like MY DAD DIED!!!!!! :D:D:D

4. dirk’s thumbs up????????? 

5. todd’s GIANT saucer eyes when farah tells him that them kissing was what made her stop seeking validation from her family because it helped her realize she’s exactly where she needs to be

6. just…. Farah ‘I Am A Perfectly Regular Person Who Can Blend Seamlessly In With Others’ Black triumphantly yelling ‘I’M ONE OF THE FREAKS!!!!!!!’ that is my GIRL!!!!!!!!

7. DEPUTY TINA ‘TIDDIES OUT’ TEVETINO ® © ™

anonymous asked:

Hey! If you're still taking prompts, could you write about neil and Andrew having a conversation about Neil's past? Like the stuff he had to do to survive and the stuff he went through with the worlds shittiest parents? Also I'm pretty sure neil has killed people like it makes complete sense so maybe andreil talking about that?

There’s a band of pale blue light nipping at the tops of the trees and sharpening the silhouettes of the houses, but everything else is fresh and dark. Andrew smokes with the pack clenched in his fist, the cherry of the cigarette winking at the street lamps winking at the orange moon.

Their front porch isn’t like the rush of the rooftop, but he can get that same jitter of fear from Neil nowadays, and he’s more portable. He’d left him knotted in the bedsheets an hour ago, and knowing he’s inside somewhere at his back is burning him up. Andrew inhales and focuses on the exhale, the way the smoke still tries to hurt him when it should’ve given up. He likes that nicotine doesn’t leave him alone.

Neil slips out the front door and lets the screen door clatter, and Andrew knows that he’s upset before he sits down two steps below Andrew, holding his own head.

He doesn’t ask; just smokes fervently. The moon bobs its head sympathetically, wind catches the smoke and breaks it over Neil’s head like water on rocks.

It occurs to Andrew that Neil isn’t going to start this conversation, because he likes to think things through on his own, solve them wrong, and tell Andrew about his mistakes later. He’s insufferably convinced of his own problem-solving abilities, then obsessed with the mechanism of his own missteps.

“What?” Andrew asks impatiently. He flicks ash from his cigarette and holds it out in front of Neil’s face. Neil sidles through his own tangled thinking for long enough to glance up. He leans forward and sucks the smoke from between Andrew’s fingers.

When he looks away, gusting smoke from his open mouth, he says, “Matt called. We fought.”

You fought,” Andrew guesses.

Neil looks agitated, blue in the choked light, eyes black and furious. “He was being unfair. He keeps trying to tell me what’s right or wrong lately, because he thinks I’ve been— been deprived, like my experiences were outside of humanity, or morality, and it’s so— condescending.”

“You’re only realizing this now? All of the foxes are condescending. It is the only way they can avoid their own failure.”

“This was different,” Neil says, shaking his head. “I can tell when they’re saying things because they want to see my reaction, and this wasn’t that. He meant what he was saying.”

“And what was that?”

Neil goes gagged silent. He shifts backwards up to Andrew’s stair without looking at him, settling into the groove worn into the wood.

“That killing someone makes you a monster. That murder is the worst thing you can do to a person.”

Keep reading

Your bad driving caused you to not get hired.

(warning: long story)

Background: I work for a construction company that has many divisions but I work in the new construction section. I’ve been working at this company for about 5 years but actually worked along with my Dad who had 30+ years at the same company. Because of his long tenure in not only the field but with the company I got a lot of inside perks. I created a lot of very beneficial professional relationships through him. My dad recently became very sick (suffering from liver and throat cancer stage 4) and had to stop coming to work. My Dad and I were the only office guys in the department, so once he stepped away I became number 1 guy in the department, making all the decisions. This detail will come into play later.

Keep reading

Many years ago, I used to be a feminist. At first it was merely a “yeah, girl power! Feminism!” kind of thing. And then I moved back home from an abusive relationship, and started hanging out with one of my best friends more often. He was one of the few guys that was a genuine friend and didn’t want to try to get into my pants. Or so I thought. After several months, having found some peace and routine with him, he brought up the prospect of being anything more. Thing is, I felt nothing for him in that aspect. I mentioned this, told him that it wouldn’t feel right forcing myself to be in a relationship with him when I didn’t actually see him in a romantic way and that it would only be cruel to him. He was disheartened, but he didn’t bring it up again for a while.

He was a pharmacy student who was on the cusp of graduation. He studied well and had high grades, and part of our hangout routine was him using his homework and notes to “teach” me (I didn’t really pay attention, but it helped him to better understand his material). One weekend - Halloween, actually, as I will always remember it - he was picking me up from my place so we could spend a few days lounging and playing video games. His car broke down and we spent hours waiting for the tow truck. The next night, we were playing video games per usual. He asked about whether or not I wanted to go somewhere and do something different. I told him that, understanding his financial situation, it would be best if we just continued with our normal routine. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. I figured “Hey, he must just be bored and stressed.” He seemed flustered and excused himself to get us some drinks from downstairs.

He came back with some drinks. I remember that mine tasted odd. I chalked it up to flat soda and allergies to the cats. Soon after, I got extremely tired. I thought it was because I hadn’t slept a few days and it was catching up to me, and I was with someone that I trusted.

I woke up feeling weird. My clothes were gone, I was in his bed, and he was on top of me. His tongue was down my throat. Every ounce of trust I had went down the drain. I was enraged. He was the ONLY male I had trusted. He was my best friend. I hardly trusted my own father to not hurt me at this point in my life because of how rocky our relationship had been. The man I had just left was sexually, physically, and emotionally abusive. This man, the man I so foolishly had considered my best friend, had broken every ounce of trust. I don’t even know the full extent to what he had done to me. But I demanded a ride home.

I never went to the police because I didn’t think they would believe me and at the time I still cared for him as a friend. I didn’t understand at the time everything that had happened. It didn’t completely sink in for years that he had drugged me. It didn’t sink in that he was the one who took off my clothes, that he had touched me in places he knew I would never allow. And I didn’t want to ruin his life over it. But it hit deep enough that I began to hate all men. Every one of them.

A couple of months later, after barring him completely from my life, I was hanging out with my female best friend. She took me out with two of her male friends, who I didn’t like or trust. And a guy that I’d liked from high school met us at the place we were hanging out. He pulled me off to a secluded area and started kissing me. At first I didn’t mind. He was cute, and seeing him kind of rekindled the old flame. But then he wouldn’t stop. And I started pushing him away from me, but he would pull me closer. I’d tell him to stop, and he would tell me that I didn’t really want that. I started struggling and yelling.

My best friend with her friends came across us. I came to find out that she didn’t know he had taken me away and had been looking for us. He friends separated us. I was crushed, because once again a man had broken my trust. My friend, instead of consoling me, lashed out at him. Accused him of “using me to get to her because he knew she liked him.” She didn’t try to make sure I was okay. But her friends did. Her two male friends, who I hadn’t liked simply on the basis that they were male, told me that if they had known the extent to which things had happened they would have beaten his ass instead of telling him to leave. One, who had just gotten out of jail, said that if I knew where the guy lived he would be more than willing to go back to protect me from the guy. These two men were more understanding than she had been.

They took me home. I was too shaken up to be fun. My dad saw how I was, and asked me what happened. The guy worked with my father. I told my dad what he did. He asked me what I wanted to do. My only words were “I want him to go away.” My dad said he could make that happen. And he did. The guy moved to California within the month.

I began having doubts about whether or not all men deserved to be hated simply because of their penis.

Months later, I began going to school the place my dad worked at. I realized that a lot of the ladies there liked my father. He wouldn’t ever do anything to return this “friendliness” from the women. My father prided himself on being professional. He was a completely different person than he was at home. One of the women who consistently tried to advance on my father began to feel spurned. So she and some of the other girls conspired together. They made false accusations about my father. Saying he would touch them and speak inappropriately to them. The school wouldn’t even listen to my father. They wouldn’t even allow him to defend himself. “The accusation alone is proof enough” were their official words. They made him resign.

My father began working as the general manager of a chain of luxury refinery. The girls that he hired took a liking to him, and when he turned down their advancements, they did the same. They accused him of sexually harassing them. When he didn’t. Once again, he was forced to resign. “This has happened twice. If it happens again, we will be forced to revoke your license.” Once again, they didn’t even allow him to defend himself. They wouldn’t see the video footage of him telling them to stop. They wouldn’t see the texts of him telling them to calm down. Because he was male.

And I realized that I, as a woman, held more power than any man ever could. I realized that all it took was mere words to destroy a man’s life. That wasn’t weakness. It wasn’t oppression, not on a woman’s part. I realized that there were shitty men and shitty women. But there was no shortage of good men either. And there was no shortage of good women.

My resentment for men faded, and it faded fast. My resentment for feminism grew for forcing me to be so scared of men, because despite my terrible experiences there were men who were willing to go to prison to defend a woman that they hadn’t known for more than five hours.


My entire point is that you are allowed to be hurt by your past experiences. You are allowed to feel, to grow past it. But don’t harbor the hatred. Don’t turn it against the people who didn’t actually do anything to you. If a man abuses you in any way, shape, or form, it’s on him. It isn’t on the shoulders of every other man in existence.

Misandry isn’t the answer. Don’t let your fear turn into hatred, please. Learn to grow past it. Because no matter how scared you are, there are people strong enough to protect you, who are willing to do so in the blink of an eye. People who don’t even know you who still love you enough to treat you like family. And it’s not their fault that there are fucked up people. People, not just men. People.

BTS as dads

Seokjin - The PREPARED dad
Jin visits all the seminars and courses for parents-to-be with you.
He is always fully prepared, no matter where you are, 24/7.
You think you forgot the bottle? Jin’s got your back.
Spending time with your kid is the most amazing thing for him.

Yoongi - The IN-CONTROL dad
He takes care of your child without breaking a sweat. The kid will always stop crying whenever he picks them up.
No one knows how he does it. Probably magic…
Yoongi enjoys taking care of your child so much, you can always rely on him.

Namjoon - The “PLEASE DON’T TELL Y/N” dad
He claims that he’s in control but has no idea what he is doing 24/7.
He actually breaks more stuff than the child but he tries his best and it’s very endearing. Also makes sure that his kid gets proper education.
Sometimes you come home and find him crying and the kid idly playing.
“What happened, Namjoon?”
“I dropped a book on my toe.”
“I swear I am raising two children.”

Hoseok - The MESEMRISED dad
Reenacts the lion king scene at least once a day.
“HAVE YOU MET MY BABY? I MADE THEM!”
Has 20.000+ pictures of your child on his phone and is very eager to show them off.
He likes to dance around the house with your baby in his arms and sings for them every night.

Jimin - The SOFT dad
Jimin became a full time dad when he first layed eyes on his child. He spends a lot of time playing and caring for them and he likes to be the one to carry the around.
He tends to falls asleep with the kid on his chest because of that and it’s the cutest thing ever. He is also very excited for them to get older, so he can teach them all kinds of cool stuff.

Taehyung - The BORN DAD
Has three kids strapped onto him at all times. Only two of them are yours.
Tae’s like a magnet, every child loves him.
He somehow gets never tired and loves spending time with them.
They are also all clothed in Gucci
He spoils them way too much, sometimes you have to stop him from ordering even more expensive clothes (because you’re running out of space).

Jungkook - The OVERWHELMED dad
Starts tearing up randomly. “They are so FRAGILE, we have to PROTECT them.”
Loves the kid so much but is also afraid he will drop it and hurt them somehow.
Looks to you whenever he’s having trouble being a dad. you have to show him the ropes at first but once he get’s the hang of things he will spend a lot of time with your kid. He is also extremely proud of your kid.

Originally posted by hihobii

-Admin Kruemmel

idk how to walk Mary home but I wanna