my dad came up with this one you guys


The city of Insomnia, born and raised
In the palace is where I spent most of my days.
Chillin’ out, maxin’ and relaxin’ all cool and
hangin’ out with Prompto outside the school.

When a shady-lookin’ guy, who was up to no good,
was talkin’ to the king like the Nifs would,
he made one little threat and my dad got scared. He said,
“You’re leaving with Gladio and Ignis out of here.”

I walked to the Regalia and when it came near,
The license plate said "Insomnia” and had dice in the mirror.
If anything, I could say that this car was fine
But I thought, “Eh, whatever. Yo Specs, to Duscae.”

We pulled up to the camp about 9 or 10
And I said to Gladio, “Really? Camp again?”
I look at campsite. I know what it means.
I have to sit in this chair and eat the fucking beans.

the other day me and my friend were doing a freelance job painting a mural at this sports facility when this dad came up and asked for a card for the place. and we were like “oh we dont work here” and he was like “oh doing your homework then? yous guys in high school?” and i legit dropped my pen and stopped what i was doing and he said “college then?” and i was like “youre not going to believe this one buddy but i’m twenty five” but THE MORAL of the story is that this actually explains why teenage girls are always give me dirty looks??? like im not tryna steal yo mans??? or be judged about my fashion choices????? i am 2 old and 2 tired tiny teens. leave me be. 

Hide and Seek

Pairing: Negan X Reader, Negan & Reader & Simon (platonic friendship)

Warnings: Negan, swearing, fluff, Negan’s probably a good dad, right?

A/N: I started writing this almost a month ago and never finished it. Other things came up, I got new ideas, and this was slowly pushed down further on my Google Drive. That being said, I found out today that I have over 40 followers, which probably doesn’t mean a lot to any of you, but it means a ton to me. I’ve tried writing on here in the past an only got frustrated because people weren’t reading my one shots and always deleted them in the end. But not this time! Thank you guys for allowing my blog to grow into the tiny community that it has and here’s to more progress. I love you all! x

Negan had always been protective of Y/N and his child. When she was pregnant with Lucia she could remember Negan always having his hands on her stomach, even when she was only a few weeks along. Hell, he did it as soon as she told him, and at that point it’d only been two weeks. He told her he wanted the baby to know how much he loved it and that he didn’t want to miss the first kick. And he didn’t.

They sat in bed, Y/N between his legs, a book in her hands, reading softly to him as he used his two large hands to rub her tiny bump. Her head was against his shoulder, his chin on hers as she read. And then she felt it. It felt like tiny butterflies in her stomach. She gasped, dropping the book and putting her hands on Negan’s turning her head to look at him. “Did you feel that?” He nodded slowly, mouth open. She laughed at him, pushing herself onto her knees and turning around in his grasp, his hands moving up to cup her face.

“That was…that was our baby,” he gaped.

“Yeah, yeah it was,” she laughed, tears starting to roll down her face. He breathed a laugh, before he started to full on giggle, pressing a kiss on her lips firmly before letting go on her and standing up.

“That was our kid!” He grinned at her before running to the door. “Simon you ugly fuck, my wife is the most amazing woman in the world. The baby just kicked, get the fuck down here.” Your husband and your best friend spent the next 30 minutes with their hands on your belly, talking to the baby and begging for it to move again.

Here you were, two years later and nothing has changed. Lucia has, is, and always will be a daddy’s girl. She could do no wrong in his eyes, and even at the mere age of two, Y/N knew that she would be able to get away with murder when it came to her father. Y/N came in from helping Simon with inventory, finding Negan and Lucia on the sofa together. Negan laid on the outside, his left side sunk into the plush cushions, and Lucia laid on her right side, pressed snug to her father’s chest, both of his arms securely around her. Y/N had to smile at this, walking over to where they were resting and reaching down to run her fingers through Lucia’s wavy black hair. She bent down, pressing a kiss to both of their heads before she went to figure out something to whip up for dinner.

Pasta was the way she decided to go. Lucia and Negan had woken up once they smelled the sauce and had come to ‘help’. Meaning Lucia sat in the counter next to the stove and Negan would dip out noodles for her and blow on them until they were cool and would let Lucia slurp them up. “Stop with the noodles, Negan. There won’t be any left by the time the sauce is done.”

“Sorry, Mama,” Negan grinned. He could never get enough of calling her that. He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Ew!” Lucia yelled from the counter.

“You don’t like daddy kissing mommy?” Negan asked his daughter. She scrunched her nose up. “Daddy thinks that you might be jealous he’s giving mommy more attention that he’s giving you.”

“She always is,” Y/N teased, reaching over to run her fingers through her daughter’s hair. “Do you want to play with daddy until dinner is ready? I think Uncle Si is going to be here soon.”

“Only a matter of time until that fucker smells the sauce and comes over,” Negan huffed, grabbing Lucia’s waist and picking her off the counted, setting her down on the floor and letting her get a head start on running before chasing after her.

Y/N was doing the dishes when Simon, Negan and Lucia decided they wanted to play hide and seek. Y/N knew what Lucia wanted as soon as she heard the pitter patter of feet coming towards her. She stepped aside, pulling the doors the the cupboard under the sink open and waiting for Lucia to slip inside. Y/N held a finger to her lips before shutting it quietly and going back to her dishes.

“Where the fuck is she?” Negan asked, coming into the kitchen five minutes later, Simon on his heels. Lucia giggled under the sink and Negan’s eyes snapped to it, before drifting up to his wife.

“Our cupboards giggle?”

“Oh, yeah, you know, sometimes they just get excited.” Y/N said with a smirk.

“You should let me look at that.” Y/N flattened herself against the doors.

“It’s okay, really.”

“Baby, the only thing standing between me and winning this game of hide and seek is you. And I’m not afraid to take you down.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I will. If I have to. Now move, or I tickle you.” An audible gasp sounded from the cupboard as Negan stalked towards his wife, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to the floor as she let out a squeal. Simon ripped the doors open, plucking his ‘niece’ out easily and holding her in one arm, tickling her with the other as her and her mother screamed and laughed.

“N-Negan, baby, p-please,” Y/N laughed, her sides sore, tears streaming down her face. Negan stopped, leaning up against the cupboards, Y/N between his legs. They were both out of breath and she collapsed onto his chest, laughing slightly. “You’re so mean to me,” she told him with a laugh. “I was just trying to protect our daughter and this is what I get?”

“Only thing you need to protect her from is Simon’s ugly fucking face,” Negan snorted.

“Daddy, no,” Lucia scolded from where she was resting on Simon’s hip. “Uncle Si pretty,” she said, patting his cheeks with her chubby little hands gently.

“Uncle Si’s pretty?” Y/N asked as she stood up. Lucia nodded to her mother who smiled, going over to kiss both her and Simon of the cheek.

“Mommy thinks Uncle Si’s pretty too.”

“Uncle Si isn’t as pretty as your mommy, though,” Negan said, coming to wrap his arms around his wife’s waist, pulling her against his chest.

Later on that night Y/N, Negan, Lucia and Dimon piled onto the L shaped sofa to watch a movie. Lucia picked out Finding Nemo as they figured she would have, and plopped herself on Simon’s lap, her favorite for today. She sat sideways on his lap so she could still see the movie, but everyone was aware that her eyes were falling shut and so were the rest of theirs.

This was how Dwight found them in the morning, Y/N and Negan entangled in each other on one end of the sofa and Lucia still sleeping on Simon, his head thrown back against the top of the sofa, snoring loudly.

I came out to my dad the other night. He’s religious (Mormon) and we’ve had discussions about gay marriage before and he was very against it so I was scared to bring it up but it’s been over a year since I came out to my mom and I figured it was time. I expected him to be angry or unsupportive, but when I told him I was gay/bi (still figuring it out) he asked me if I thought he would be upset and I said yeah and then he told me, “My job as your dad is to love you and make sure you’re happy and to teach you the tools you will need to get through life. Being gay doesn’t change the fact that you’re still my daughter.”

Also, I asked him if he already knew and he said that he “wondered about it” lol

On the way to school my dad and I wound up driving behind some huge asshole in a truck that had three giant flags on the back, one of which was a Trump flag, and there were big letters on the back window that said “IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY FLAG GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM” and I’m like…buddy. Dickhead. My guy. I’m born and raised in Louisiana to white US citizen parents, and I hate ur flag with every fiber of my being. What exactly u want me to do??? Crawl back inside of my mother?????

You guys I was dying this weekend so Lena came over to take care of me and like my parents noticed that. I was fighting a fever like all of yesterday and my dad actually came in the room and asked Lena how I was doing which is kind of a big deal lmao cause it was him acknowledging that she was the one watching over me. Then today he kept trying to get me to let her try some “Asian chicken” and when she went out to put some dishes up he stopped her to show her something and talk about some more food and like that’s a big deal y'all lol.
She’s been over several times but we mostly stay in the room and I can’t begin to describe how great it is that she wasn’t afraid to leave the room and wander the house if I needed something even with the risk of running into my parents like ugh. This girl is great.

So my little sister’s classmates have her added on snapchat right so they’ll occasionally see our snaps of us praying for Shiro and leaving offerings to his framed photograph on my dresser ok

NOW one girl recently came up to my sister and went “Yeah, that show you guys watch… the dad died, right?”

……… they legitimately think Shiro is an actual 100% certified deceased dad and excuse me I’m shitting my pants

bruhgender  asked:

Parents AU of any ship you want that incorporates one of the funniest things that's happened at my job- a guy came in and said he needed a shit of titos vodka because he's about to pick up his kids from school

Dinesh walked into the bar where Gilfoyle worked. It was pretty much empty since it was 2:30.

“I need a shot of vodka,” he said. “I’m about to pick my kids up from school.”

Gilfoyle laughed and said, “You got it.” As he poured it, he asked, “Are you some sort of deadbeat dad who’s never had to do that before or…”

Dinesh glared. “I’m just not looking forward to the lecture from her teacher I’m about to get.”

Gilfoyle raised an eyebrow. “What did she do?”

Dinesh sighs. “She graffiti’d ‘capitalism kills’ on one of the walls.”

Gilfoyle looked over Dinesh, wondering if he was older than he looks.

“She’s ten,” Dinesh said.

Gilfoyle grinned. “Have another shot on me for raising such a badass.”

Hot Topic Experience

Okay so I was in Hot Topic in Medford, Oregon on Tuesday. My dad and I walked in and started looking around the store. Few minutes in and there was a group of three guys that walked in. Two stayed in the middle talking and then the other was walking around the store looking around. I kept bumping into the one walking around the store and i felt really bad. Later on they left and then the manager came over and pointed up at the shirts on the wall and pointed to an Issues shirt and said.

“Do you know the Issues?”

“Well I like a couple of their songs. Don’t know them much…”

“They were just in here…”

Then the lightbulb clicked. I finally recognized the guys as Michael Bohn, Josh Manuel, and then couldn’t recognize the other. But oh my gosh! There were right next to me and it didn’t even come to me. After that I went into the food court and simply sat down. Two frickin tables over and THERE THEY WERE!! Michael kept looking over at me and I just smiled…i was so nervous holly frickin crap.

THEN when we were checking out, the manager saw me looking at All Time Low’s new album and asked me.

“Oh you like them too?”

“Yeah. I really like All Time Low.”

“Did you just hear what I just said a couple minutes ago?”


“They’re in the parking lot…”


“Thats cool…”

Once we walked out of there I totally flipped out.



We drove around the mall parking lots and
only found the Issues’ van thingy…yep.

The best experiences are in Hot Topics. (;
I go to the one Kellin always go in because I live ~30 minutes away from where he lives….so yeah.

Message me your Hot Topic experiences!! I would love to hear them!!


Summary: A one night stand ends up being my daughter’s teacher AU

A/N: Unbeta’d, but I saw this on an AU post and just HAD to write it

Word Count: ~1,800

Kurt hadn’t been to a bar in years, being a single dad kind of killed your social life, at least when it came to meeting new people. Your old friends were okay with going to the park with your kid (sometimes bringing their own), hot guys that you just met, not so much. So he was stuck with being hopelessly single and celibate until Chelsea got old enough for sleepovers, because he was not getting a babysitter just so he could go out and get laid. Unless of course his best friend forced him out of his own house while he was in the midst of a panic attack about how to style his daughters hair for her first day of kindergarten the next day. Then he guessed it was okay to go find a cute guy to relieve some stress with.

Kurt sat with his back to the bar, sipping carefully on his Midori Sour while he watched the dance floor. The gay bars in New York were admittedly a lot better than those in Ohio, more men his age and less middle aged men with wedding bands trying to snatch up all the youngest boys. In fact, there were a number of contenders there tonight to choose from, Mister tall dark and bedazzledly handsome, dancing in what seemed to be the exact center of the dance floor. The giggly drunk at the end of the bar. The lanky blonde leaning against a wall and examining the crowd in the exact same way Kurt was.

Kurt finished his drink before making a decision. He sat his glass on the bar and started to stand when a voice stopped him.

“I wouldn’t choose him,” it said, mostly likely indicating giggles, the one Kurt had started to head for.

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  • Friend: There was this loud-ass bike last night that went DUR DUR DUR DURARARARARARARA
  • Friend: I need one piece of paper
  • Friend: I want to put my 'sword art' online on deviantart
  • Friend: You need to go beyond the boundary, man
  • Me:
  • Me: stahp

You guys!!! Even though my brother has been completely out of it and sedated, he came to and woke up!!! He tried sitting up and we asked him to wiggle his toes and he did, we asked him go squeeze my dad’s hand and he did, and we asked if he was in pain and he nodded his head so we was alert and aware!!! It was only for a minute but it’s a miracle the progress he’s making for the trauma he’s been through and how far hes coming!! One step at a time!!!

Also thank you all for you love and support!!! It means the world to me and my family ❤

Real Life course on Self-outing and Interpretation

Me to my straight best friend: “I may start dating girls”. “Maybe you and I should get married”.

Her reaction: “Wow, you’re really fed up with men aren’t you? Don’t worry, you’ll find a good one”.

Me to my bi friend: *talks and acts naturally*

Her reaction: “We need to talk about  the signals you’re sending other women”.

Me to my gay dad: “I wouldn’t stand in a corner alone, I’d just dance with another girl”. “I’d date Miley (in a joking tone)”.

His reaction: “There you go”. “You guys would have fun”. And, when I finally seriously came out to him, “I already knew”.

In case you’ve missed the point, “jokes” like these are usually not jokes. They are a way of testing the waters and saying something in a “safe” way. They’re like training wheels. So please, if you are straight and a 1D fan, don’t tell the queer fans that we aren’t seeing what we’re seeing. We know that of which we speak. We’ve lived it. Repeated “jokes” like Harry’s are not jokes at all. End of story.

I did it.

Okay guys I did it. I left the letter outside my bedroom after I went to bed yesterday. No one said anything for a while but when my mum came in to wake my up she gave me a really big hug and said she loved me about twelve times. I didn’t think this would make me cry but hey ho, the tears are here. My dad was the one I was most nervous about, and he hugged me this morning and said “I know you don’t want to talk about it but well done on the letter, I know it must have been hard.” I’m so glad I did it. Thank you so so so SO much everyone who offered support and good luck. I actually wouldn’t have been able to do it without you. Thank you SO MUCH. I love you all.

Sophie x

Daddy 5SOS: Proposals (Jake and Nebraska)

Could you do proposals so when Isaac proposes to Kayla, Jake proposes to Nebraska and Matthew proposes to Hannah bc omg the feels. And if you want you could maybe do the bit where the guy asks her parents for permission to marry

A/N: These are going to be posted separately, so enjoy these for the next few days! Today is Jake and Nebraska :) You can check out the other ones that have been posted on my masterlist! Enjoy!

“Hey, Dad? Can I talk to you for a second?” Jake asked, appearing in the doorway of the master bedroom. Ashton glanced up from where he was relaxing on the bed with the book and sat up, nodding.

“Of course. What’s up, kid?” Ashton smiled. Jake came to rest on the foot of the bed in front of his father and nervously fiddled with the hem of his shirt. He took a deep breath and looked up at his dad, then giggled a bit.

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