my customer service smile

So I’ve had this one customer who always comes up to me and like insists on waiting for me even if I’m super busy and my coworkers are free. He makes jokes about me being his girlfriend, about how we’ll run away together, and I just have to smile cause that’s my job, and my manager told me it wasn’t big enough to make a complaint out of. Keep in mind, I’m a 17 year old girl and he’s a man in his mid-50s. Last week, he comes in, talks to me for a good 15 minutes about his divorce, and once I’m done helping him he tries to pull me in for a hug. I duck around and get the hell out of there. Then, that night, when I get home I have a facebook message from a stranger. ‘Are you the [my name] who works at [store]?’ And I click the profile picture and it’s that guy. So I ignore it and go on with my life. Two days ago, he shows back up and finds me. Our store’s really big, idk how he keeps tracking me down. He asks me to get him something off a high shelf, even though he’s got a solid six inches on me, but I put on my customer service smile again and stretch onto my tiptoes to reach it, and when I do, he hugs me from behind and puts his hands on my chest. I scream, he runs, and two of my coworkers find me. When I tell my manager, he agrees that a line has been crossed, so we call the cops, and file a report. That night, when I go out to my car, I see a figure at the edge of the parking lot, and I get freaked out, go back in, and have one of my coworkers walk me out. Yesterday, the whole day goes by without an incident, but my coworker walks me out again to be safe. We get to my car, and I’m about to get in the driver’s side door when I see my coworker waving his hands, mouthing ‘no’, and gesturing for me to get back inside the store. I look around, and see through my back window, the creepy customer is LYING ON MY BACKSEAT. From the angle, I don’t think he can see either of us, so I loudly say that I forgot my jacket, and have to go back for it, while my coworker’s already dialing 911. We walk back to the store and it takes all of two minutes for the cops to show up (we’re near the police station) and arrest him. Turns out he had chloroform, duct tape, and a box of condoms in the car with him.

TL;DR Creepy customer got obsessed with me, escalated from hugging to stalking to planning to kidnap and rape me, got arrested. And yes, I’m already in the process of filing for an order of protection. Always check your backseat before you get in your car.

AU List

Oh. my. god. Huge ass AU list done with byrdboiv

Part 1 | Part 2


  • ‘I’m a student teacher at your school and you’re a senior who keeps on trying to ask me out in your free periods – I mean, I would because you’re only younger than me by like, five years ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM, and you’re kind of totally my type? But hey, I’ve got to keep some sense of professionalism’ AU
  • ‘I’m a basketball coach in the year above you from your brother/sister school, and you’re that kid who can’t ball for shit, has friends in the team I’m coaching, and told me that I was really short and had really pretty eyes, you’re distracting me my team, fight me in the PIT, motherfucker’ AU
  • ‘I’m part of the IT at the school you work at, and you’re a drama teacher – you keep asking me for help with the sound and lighting even though we both know that’s the job for the deputy principal’s sound and lighting kids’ AU
  • ‘I’m your best bro and you’re my best bro, we used to have broners for each other but now I have a romantic boner for you, bro, and I don’t know about you. I’m sorry, bro. All the homo’ AU
  • ‘I’m in your Mathematics class and you sit next to me, whispering words of encouragement after my teacher verbally bodyslams me for my epic math fails’ AU
  • ‘I’m a 500% troublemaker and you’re a 500% goody two-shoes and we’re both in the Student Representative Council – who will come out on top? (Not in the sexual way, oh my God is this really happening I had no idea you had it in you, we’re both minors but I don’t think either of us could care less; so much for you being good.)’ AU
  • ‘I’m really hungry and I forgot my lunch and I have no money to buy food at the canteen, and you just passed me a $10 bill, I am 10000% willing to become you sex slave right now, bless the ground you walk on, O Benevolent One’ AU
  • ‘I’m walking past the basketball courts and you’re just lying in the centre of the courts. Staring into the sky. I’m going to join you’ AU
  • ‘I’m in your P.E. class and you’ve been doing a plank for 5 solid minutes, are you an Olympian or something??’ AU
  • ‘I’m a VA student and I fucking hate basketball to the nth degree but my teacher wants me to paint a basketball hoop and backboard for my assignment and fuckyou you’re playing on my reference, move aside bitch’ AU
  • ‘I do Latin and so do you, but you’re in a year below me and ask me for help a lot because your pronunciation may be great but your grammar is not’ AU
  • ‘I’m working part-time at a fast food joint and holy fuck, you and your friends just came to order stuff and oh no I have this huge fat crush on you because you’re always so nice to everyone and to me, I hope you don’t notice the fear in my Customer Service Smile™’ AU
  • ‘I do notifications over the PA every morning and you like my voice??? You want to ask me out for coffee????? Like, right now?????? School has already started???????You’re in Year 9 and I’m in Year 11 and I do NOT want you to skip school just for this?????????????’ AU
  • ‘We’re both in a school volleyball team and we’re the only ones not here for the gay volleyball anime (well, maybe)’ AU
  • ‘We’re both in a school basketball team and we’re the only ones not here for that one gay basketball anime (well, not really)’ AU
  • ‘We’re both in the same swimming squad and hell yeah are we here for the gay swimming anime’ AU
  • ‘I’m a VA student and you’ve been bringing me food for the past month after school when I’ve been working on my artwork, even though we’re in brother/sister schools and I only really get to talk to you at our interschool vocals club and/or on Facebook (which is really rare, to be honest), I really need to pay you back, does my eternal love and devotion (or dedication of my artwork to you) suffice?’ AU
  • ‘We’re married teachers in the Science faculty and the students keep on making jokes about us having chemistry, please bury me’ AU
  • ‘I have a TAFE account and you’re begging me for it – are you really willing to give me what you’re offering, I mean, an entire cake, your virginity and your first born child is not something that should be bartered for something you could Google at home’ AU
  • ‘We just snuck into the movies together because our friends dared us to get in, watch a movie and get back out without getting caught, hell yeah, this isn’t a date by the way what are you saying, fuck, this movie’s sad, fuck, I’m not crying, fuck, you’re holding me in your arms and it feels right, fUCK’ AU
  • ‘I’m part of the IT at the school you work at, and you’re a drama teacher – you keep asking me for help with the sound and lighting even though we both know that’s the job for the deputy principal’s sound and lighting kids’ AU
  • ‘I’m a basketball coach in the year above you from your brother/sister school, and you’re that kid who can’t ball for shit, has friends in the team I’m coaching, and told me that I was really short and had really pretty eyes, you’re distracting me my team, fight me in the PIT, motherfucker’ AU
  • ‘I’m a student teacher at your school and you’re a senior who keeps on trying to ask me out in your free periods – I mean, I would because you’re only younger than me by like, five years ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM, and you’re kind of totally my type? But hey, I’ve got to keep some sense of professionalism’ AU
  • ‘Your notes are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever been graced with, and what the fuck, how can you even do this when our history teacher talks rapid-fire’ AU
  • ‘I leaned over your shoulder to see the creative writing piece you’ve been working on for the past hour, and oh my gosh????? You’re that writer in the school magazine with the mysterious alias, and I admire you so much???? Did you sell your soul to the devil to reach that level of eloquence tell me your sECRET’ AU


Fast Food Outlet

  • I work at McDonalds and you’re the fuckface who tries to order my number with a 24pck of chicken nuggets and a large strawberry sundae every single fucking time (I mean, I’d give you my number if you bought a chocolate sundae instead, strawberry is wrong)’
  • I work at KFC, why in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, did you buy six 450ml servings of mash potato, sit down at a table close by, open each of them up and drink them all.
  • I’m a Domino’s Pizza deliveryman and you just bought 20 pizzas, there’s not even a party at your house? Are you going to eat this all yourself in one go? Are you just bulk buying so you can reheat it later and not bother calling us up again? Pizza’s way better fres– fuck, you’re crying, what do I do, they didn’t teach me this in my training.
  • I’m working part-time at a fast food joint and holy fuck, you and your friends just came to order stuff and oh no I have this huge fat crush on you because you’re always so nice to everyone and to me, I hope you don’t notice the fear in my Customer Service Smile™.
  • ‘As an employee, I shouldn’t be saying this, but it is NOT nutritionally acceptable to eat here every day. Drop by after my shift ends and I’ll cook you some real food’ AU

Convenience/Greengrocer store AU

  • ‘I’m a convenience store owner and you’re asking me whether the $2 or $3 noodles are better, I like both of them, what do I say, you’re looking at me with bigass puppydog eyes, I am fucked’ AU
  • ‘I’m your local greengrocer’s cashier and you’ve been staring at the tomatoes for over 15 minutes now, Jimmy, hold the register’ AU
  • ‘Why on earth are you holding that fruit to your ear like you can hear the fucking sea or something’ AU

Technological Store AU

  • ‘I work in JB-HiFi and you come in and ask me if I could help you find your friend who is a) missing and b) has a huge thirst for Kanye West and Jay-Z, shall we go to the CDs? They might be in the Rap genre section…’ AU
  • ‘How did you manage to fuck this up so badly’ AU

Dentist AU

  • ‘I think you look very attractive but there’s not much dignity I can muster when you’re holding my mouth open with these goddamn contraptions from hell and my mouth’s starting to fill with saliva’ AU
  • ‘I’m a dental assistant and you’re really cute, even with a bajillion black stains and mildly bad breath’ AU
  • ‘You’re not seriously going to put that in my mouth, are you’ AU

Sports Coach AU

  • ‘I’m a single parent and you’re my kid’s volleyball coach, I’m sorry I introduced them to Haikyuu!! how can I make it up to you?’ AU
  • ‘I’ve been tasked with this feeble looking teen who can’t do push ups for shit’ AU

Librarian AU

  • ‘I’m a library assistant and you’re the person who comes in every week with 100000000 kids and still manages to keep them all in check, you are amazing’ AU
  • ‘We have a self-checkout system, but ever week you unfailingly turn up at my desk and OH MY GOD IS THAT GERONIMO STILTON’ AU
  • ‘I must say your taste in books is beautiful, can I take you out for coffee?’ AU
  • ‘You’re balancing a pile of fifteen books in your arms and you look like you’re about to fall any moment now’ AU

Wedding Planner AU

  • ‘I’m a wedding planner and you’re the wedding photographer, I agree with you completely, this couple is absolutely disgusting – they need to stop with all the sappiness and frills and make out sessions in front of you when you’re trying to ask them about what they want in their actual wedding, yeah, let’s get lots of cheap alcohol at a bar somewhere, together, after this whole ordeal is done (and maybe make our own wedding a lot less cringeworthy)’ AU

Bakery AU

  • ‘I work at a bakery and you’re the person that buys a smiley face cupcake every single day, I swear to God stop smiling at me like that, like, that’s the cupcake’s job’ AU
  • ‘Do you really want to give a dick cake to your niece?’ AU
  • ‘That comes to six hundred dollars in total’ AU

Office Jobs AU

  • ‘I’m in a boring corporate business job and you’re in the cubicle in front of mine, did you just send me a paper aeroplane with the words “WASSSSSSUPPPP TURN UP BITCHEZ” written on it?’ AU
  • ‘I never usually go to workplace drinking sessions but since you’re here sign me the fuck up’ AU
  • ‘Are you seriously going to turn that poor excuse of a prototype in to the boss? You’ll get the sack’ AU
  • ‘We’re both vying for a promotion, and you’re not above sabotaging my work’ AU
Uuugggh politics at work

There was an older man at the museum I work at the other day and he was really excited about history and ‘walking where the great founding father walked’ which I just like am like 'ok whatever’ then he starts talking about visiting Boston and how much history is there then…then this old dude turns to me and says like 'it’s a shame there used to be patriots there now it’s a city full of liberals’

Omg I was done. I had to hold a fake ass smile on my face because customer service and all that but I was pissed.

Like wtf he’s basically saying liberals are un-American like what is that bull

Who’s not patriotic you old ass hat? You think the people who are fighting to give everyone equal rights and don’t want to see people striped of health care aren’t patriots???

We want America to be a place for everyone and where everyone has a chance to thrive. That’s what America should be, we should be the land of the free and the home of the brave forward thinking people who want to be leaders in making the world better and sustainable for the future.

But old authoritarian shortsighted conservatives keep holding this country back trying to force us Into some conservative Christian box to recapture their nostalgic ideal of time gone by that really didn’t exist and if it was ideal it was only that way for a select few rich white guys and no body else.

That’s not America. Even if it was started by rich old white guys they set it up so it could evolve into something better. Our ancestors people of all backgrounds, races, genders have fought so it could be better.

The patriots in Boston during the rev war were considered radicals in their day. I like to think if they were in this time they would be trying to fight for everyone’s rights and some of them would have been like the liberals this call decided were unpatriotic

Standing up for people’s rights and equality in the face of a greedy government is as patriotic as it gets

SF9 as Random Au/Prompts

Youngbin: *Store Au*

“Now tell me. Have you tried to turn it on and turn it back off?”

Inseong: *Dentist Au*

“I would ask you out, but I’m putting metal tools in your mouth and you just look stupid”

Jaeyoon: *Sport coach*

“I’m a happily married, gay male, who coaches a sport that makes your kids look gay as fuck. Now tell me why the fuck do you think its a good idea to keep on paying every month  for this bullshit”

Dawon: *Bakery Au*

“Do you really want to buy this dick cake for your wedding”

Zuho: *Fast food Au*

“I hope you don’t notice the suicide in my Customer service smile”  

Rowoon: *Jewellery Au*

“Why do you always say those pearls looks like me? I’m so confused”

Taeyang: *Bartender Au*

“Please don’t blink, look to your left… or right…..or someone will slip something in your drink That took me three extra minutes to make…thanks”

Hwiyoung: *Student Au*

“Why do we have to do Romeo and Juliet in english and math? do you honestly think we like to listen to your annoying ass for four fucking hours explaining a play nobody is going to sign up for”

Chani: *Corner store Au*

“Quirk question, why do you always come in here licking your left hand looking for the cat food”


I’m at work and I’m bored as hell, so I’ll tell ya’ll the best ass thing that ever happened to me at this job.

So I work as a paid “intern” at a public library. There’s like 10 different branches that they send me too but the Main branch is where the best shit goes down. See it’s down town in a busy ass big city. We see people from all walks of life, and it’s our job to never judge and help where we can no matter what.

So, I’m trained in every area of the library. Sometimes I work in Youth Services and I spend my day cutting paper and crafty shit like that. Some times I’m in Cataloguing and I put books in the system, stamp them, sticker them, and send them on their merry ass way to be checked out.

But some days I get to work at the Circulation desk or at the Reference desk. Here I answer questions about cards and weird ass things like, “What’s the FBI’s number?” (True story, we get this a lot) or “What’s the 99th number in pie?”

The days I work here, you can bet that shit will go dooooooowwwwwnnnnn.

So again, it’s my first summer, maybe my 4th week. I’m still green. I’m this short little fluffy white girl. I look 12 and puppies are scarier than me. But I have a back bone. I don’t take shit, and you can’t bully me into doing what you want. I got fire in my eyes yo!

So, I’m working in circulation and it’s probably 11am. I’m awake and I’m in a good ass mood. I got a smile on my face and I’m showing this bright ass happy light all around me.

A gentleman came in looking like he wanted to burn the world down. My coworker took a step back. The security guard walked over to stand closer the the front desk. I put on my best customer service smile and asked him what I could do for him. Like I said, I was green, I lived in a fantasy land where the world was all roses.

He starts growling at me about how he has a $200 fine and he doesn’t know where it came from and he’s pissed as hell. So I told him I’d give it a look, I’d see what I could do.

So I pull up his account and while I’m looking at it I’m asking him about himself. (101 when working with problematic persons, agree with everything and ask them about themselves, people like nothing more than talking about themselves)

He seems to be getting into a better mood and everyone’s smiling and happy and I start asking him about the fines. As it turns out, he has a couple lost movies that had accumulated a huge amount of fines and then he’d been billed for them. I told him if he could pay off the missing movies I’d take off the fines, which took the bill down to $65ish.

He was all for it and pulled out his cash. So while I’m fixing the account he starts asking me about myself. At some point I mentioned that my dad lived in the Philippines. He assumes that my dad lived there because he was running away from paying child support and offered to beat him up. I laughed and said he used to be in the military and he really enjoyed when he was stationed there. (This was a half truth. The gentleman was spot on about my dad running from child support, but I wasn’t going to tell a stranger that)

So the card is fixed, everyone’s in a good mood, and just before he leaves he motions for me to come to the front of the desk.

The security guard stiffens up, but I do as the guy says. I’m not afraid of him. He’s not going to try something right in front of security. Though, my bitch ass should have been scared.

So he leaned over, remember I’m short as all balls, and whispers in my ears, “You ever get sick of being a librarian, I’ve got a place for you with my ladies.”

My face goes bright ass red, my lips purse, and my eyes go wide. I take a step back, laugh, and say, “I’ll keep you in mind”.

I then go back behind the desk, grab my phone and water bottle, and tell my coworker I’m going on break.

Haven’t seen the gentleman since. But if he’s out there, I’d like him to know I have 1 year left until I graduate, and I am not looking for a job but I appreciate the offer.

So that’s the story of how I almost became a hooker.


Fun Fact: With rules and policies at any place (a theater, store or fast food joint) there is typically a small amount of wiggle room where you can skirt around a rule to help someone out.

So if you are nice about it and apologetic, I can usually bend a rule to make sure that you are comfortable and happy. I’ll get you that free refill or give you a discount when you don’t have your ID or let you stand inside a few minutes before we open so you don’t have to wait out in the cold. 

BUT, if you are a rude, condescending dick about it, complain a lot or act like you are above the rules becuase, idk you’re ~special~, I will become the physical embodiment of Policy and dig my feet in anywhere I can, all the while giving you my best Customer Service Smile™ as I explain that rules are rules and I’m sorry but that’s just the way we do things around here. 

anonymous asked:

There was this one time during boxing day, a family of 8 came up to my till and had a mountain of clothes all from the clearance section that varies from BOGO 50%, 2 for 10, 2 for the price of one, etc. (1)

And they were like pls hurry because we would like to go to check out the other sales in the mall and I just gave them my best customer service smile and told them no problem as I tried to pair and ring up the clothes that goes with the right sale.  As I was doing my job, they kept adding more and more clothes all the while the mother was just telling me to hurry up and her husband just looked bored. I was internally dying by this point because of how much clothes they were dumping on my till. It took me 40 mins. To ring up all their stuff and their total ended up around $800, the mom then went on a litany on how all of the clothes they bought shouldn’t amount to that price and how I, a sales associate,  should mark down the price for them. I just looked at her and the 6 xl bags STUFFED full of clothes and i apologized and that I couldn’t really do much, she was about to go on another spiel when her husband just whips out his wallet and hands me cash That somehow calmed her down and they just took the bags and left… Sorry for the long boring story but seriously the amount of clothes they bought from the clearance section was insane. I had to manually put in the right sale for each one.             

Being that the my WHOLE store was a discount store, where everything was manual and none of the floor people communicated with the cashiers in terms of further discounts. My store was very popular with immigrants who bought in bulk to sell things back in their countries   I am quite familiar with this special brand of hell.

"That one" she said as she pointed vaguely at the meat case (From my meat department days)

So honestly this story is, in my opinion, better than the last story I told here. I had forgotten about this until I was thinking about other petty stuff I did while I worked in a meat department.

So in case you’ve never seen a meat department there is a long cooler with glass and you can look at the meat we have. We stood on the other side and would grab your meat, weigh it, then package it.

So one of my pet peeves when people would just point and say “I’ll have two of those” it was really difficult to see what they were pointing to so I’d try to take an educated guess as to what they wanted and ask if it was correct. Most of the time they would get the hint and read the label so I knew what to grab.

This one pudgy lady comes in and waddles up to the case. I greet her with my fake customer service smile and she points and grunts. I ask her “Ma'am do you want the x?” and she just looks at me dead in the eyes and says “That” And looks back down at the case. I’m totally confused and her finger could be pointing at like six different things.

I bend down to look and see if I can tell where she is pointing but I have no idea. So I start naming off things in the general vicinity. She kept responded with more agitated “Thats”. After some time I start thinking she might be illiterate and I felt bad. So I walk around to the front of the case to see if I can tell what she is pointing at. She starts pounding on the glass with her finger saying “That one right there” and her finger was in such a vague area I had no idea what she was asking for.

So I go back around the case and ask “How many would you like?” and she says “A few” so I picked out the most expensive thing in the area and put six of them in a package. The total rang up to be about $75 if I remember correctly.

I handed her the package after weighing it up and she walked away without even looking at the label to see I gave her the right thing.

I had no idea what she was trying to accomplish because it was pretty clear I had no idea what she wanted. And when I asked clarifying questions she didn’t really respond. So I sold a shit load of stuff to her and got a thumbs up from my boss for making a big sale.

Jungkook- Chrysanthemum

Genre- fluff

Word Count- 1.4k

Summary- You work in a small flower shop. A handful of red chrysanthemums go missing.

cowritten with @btswritertrash

Originally posted by jung-koook


The smell of manure and dirt wafts through the air, mingling with the dust traveling through the sun rays.

Red roses, pink roses, white roses next to white chrysanthemums, pink chrysanthemums, red chrysanth- crap. Where did the red ones go? I could swear…

My eyes scan around the small, familiar shop. The green shrubs hang from the ceiling, their long leaves gently cascading over their pots, reaching for the floor. Bright colors dot the shelves, though none of them belong to the plant I’m looking for. The rows of purple flowers, lavender, bell flowers, salvia, and clematis, were still there, as well as the orange and yellow.

I head to the back because maybe I had left the pots there. It wouldn’t be the first time. I open the heavy wooden door, looking down the corridor lined with pots of flowers, shrubs, and succulents. The floor is covered in a fine layer of dirt and sawdust. I walk straight to the place I know they’ll be. There are rows and rows of pink, white, and yellow chrysanthemums, but no red. I sigh in dismay. I refuse to get fired over a missing pot of flowers.

But suddenly, with a jolt of excitement and relief I spot one pot all the way in the back. Standing on the tips of my toes, I stretch. My finger tips touch the rim, and I tug at it. My moment of relief shatters as the pot falls, and the flowers spill onto the floor.

Carefully, I collect the fallen pieces, painstakingly sweeping the dirt back into its container and placing the salvageable stalks in their container. I make a mental note to pick up the fallen leaves and petals later as I make my way back to the front of the shop.  

Grunting, I place it behind the row of roses, and step back. All the flowers are in place and in color order. I can go back to being bored behind the counter again. With a sigh I plop down  on the swiveling seat, turning in circles for fun instead of watering the plants, which is probably what I SHOULD be doing, but almost jump out of my skin when I see the figure standing near the shop’s window. When had they walked in? Why hadn’t I heard the bell? I stop and put on my “customer service smile,” but it becomes genuine as I realize it’s my boyfriend, Jungkook who is standing there.

Keep reading

The woes of having two first names
  • Customer Rep: Okay may I have your first name and last?
  • Me: Yeah, Dallas Carlos.
  • Customer Rep: Is Carlos the first name or last name?
  • Me: *internally screaming* It's my last name.

I work at Cracker Barrel and something really upset me today. This couple in camo gear came up to buy this Santa calendar, when suddenly the lady (maybe late 20′s early 30′s) goes “Wait a minute, what color is he?” And I said excuse me? And she says “Does he look black to you? Would you consider him to be black?” And I paused and said “I mean, yes I would say he’s black.” And she fucking shoved it at me like she was touching something putrid and said “Ugh absolutely not take it. That is not fucking right Santa is not black.” And I had to fake my customer service smile while I wanted to absolutely throw up on her. So I took it back with a smile, saying nothing, and they stormed out. I would like to note that this Santa was so racially ambiguous, she had to squint to even realize he might not be totally white. 

I hope that lady gets ugly ties and whiskey stones for Christmas and chokes on a fruitcake.  

Teaching a customer about patience.

I work at a mc Donald’s which is just as fun as you think it is, but they’re flexible with hours while I’m a student and it’s not always bad. I always have to bite my tongue at rude customers and there’s not many ways I can get revenge, you know customer service is a huge part of the job so even if they’re being as rude as possible I’m supposed to take it, smile, and apologize (even when it’s not my fault.)

So it’s a typical Saturday, packed. Saturday’s are crazy, I work in a McDonald’s/gas station combo and the line usually goes through the gas station, I’m not lying it gets that bad and people have the audacity to look at all the people and get mad about the wait.

We have a long line and we have one person on register who will just stay and take orders non stop and I’m a register/ runner.  Basically if the register gets backed up I take over but the rule is take 2 orders, get two orders so I can get the food out as well.

Anyways I’m in the middle of getting an order out I go by the registers to wear the sauces are and to grab some to put in the bag for the order in getting.
The guy who is second in line says “omg! You only have one register open!??!??!” He’s really only second in like and there are like 4 people behind him waiting patiently.

Customers like this just irritate me. He rolls his eyes and gets out of line and starts heading out.

I am right there next to the register getting sauces so I decide I can finish that order later and as out of line I say “I can help who’s next” in my polite customer service voice and smile, the guy looks back at the line and where he is a couple step away and realizes his gap has been filled and he lost his spot.

He looks at me angry and I tell him to have a nice day:)

It’s the only type of revenge I can get at this job and it made me feel good. Next time he should be patient.

Funniest thing I ever had happen to me at work: had a man come striding up demanding to know where the canned vegetables where. He wasn’t terribly rude at first, so I just neutrally said I’d show him and started on our way. As we’re walking he starts going on about “you’re a big enough franchise, you should have signs up for that shit,” blah blah. I stopped, turned, gave him my customer service smile, pointed above our heads at the giant sign saying “Aisle 2: Canned Vegetables” and said quite innocently, “Like that sign up there?” The man looked at it, at me, and almost went to say something but just turned on his heel and went on his way. Like lmao, you’re just trying to start shit dude, don’t even.

To all my Customer Service witches!

❇ Wanna help bring more smiles to the world? Create a sigil out of the words “have a nice day” and then keep it in your pocket. Now when you tell a customer to have a nice day imagine your sigil and send them the good vibes! Whenever they say “you too!” Back you can feel your own magick wash over you giving you a better day too! ❇

Every Wednesday

Prompt:  ‘Every Wednesday at the same damn time you’re at the same cereal aisle getting the same cereal brand and I’ve been trying to make a move on you for ages.’

Pairing: Dan Howell and Phil Lester

Fic Type: AU

Words: 2,300

I would have been angry. Oh, I would have been livid. Who the fuck does he think he is to stand down one end of the aisle like god almighty and judge the poor peasant stacking cereal boxes on a Wednesday morning? Oh, yes, I would have been simmering… if he wasn’t the most beautiful person I’d ever seen in my life.

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Creepy Old Fucks, in Droves


So last night, about 5:00, this dude walks in and tells me he had a reservation for (name that isn’t anywhere on the books). I’m hosting so this dude is my fucking responsibility until he’s seated unfortunately. I tell him there is no reservation under the name, he says “oh, that’s fine, they probably didn’t make one” and goes back to having his phone in his nose and awkwardly standing RIGHT next to me at the host stand. I politely ask him how large is party is going to be, he just shakes his head and kind of shrugs. Fucking OK then.

He loiters around the dining room for about 45 minutes, around the host stand, the bar, the tables in the dining area, right in front of all the dishes and silverware I need to reset tables, etc. multiple times myself and others have to say “excuse me” because he is blatantly in the way/space of employees AND guests. In the 45 minutes he’s meandering around with his phone in his face, he ignores all of my offers to seat him, if he knows when his party is coming, if he’d like to wait at the bar and have a drink, etc. at one point he’s like “I don’t even know if I’m at the right location” which is understandable because there’s 3 of the restaurant chain in my city. The way he said it was so rude though, that dickass tone like I’m annoying him while he just fucking sits around and doesn’t eat, drink, buy anything, or even confirm that he’s actually eating here.

Finally, fucking finally, his face lights up from looking at his phone and he walks up to the host stand.

“I had a reservation for a party of 12 at 5:30.”

Ok, well, we already went over the fact that you have no reservation, so you can fuck off with that noise. Also, it’s nearly 6:00, so what the fuck are you even trying right now?

“You can get to setting up a table or room for us now.”

I give him my most sickening customer service smile and begin to set up a 3-table arrangement for what is essentially a WALK-IN 12top. Whatever, happens a lot, I’m numb to it mostly. I would have gotten over it quickly if it weren’t for the fact that I caught him taking a photo of me leaned over the tables, using flash and all, pointing his fucking phone camera right at my ass and grinning. He didn’t even acknowledge that I caught him, he just went immediately to poking and typing on his screen. I got the vibe he was sending it or some shit, really really grossed me out. I finish setting it up, I don’t even bother telling him it’s ready because I know he’s going to seat himself and I don’t want to fucking talk to him.

I tell my manager who is basically a team lead, just working as a closing manager alone. She’s the only female in management and as horrible as it is, she doesn’t do much because she doesn’t really know WHAT to do. I didn’t want to come right out and accuse the guy unless it escalated further, so we just rolled with it, and she stayed up front with me for awhile to make me feel better. Bad move. She’s a shapely lady with a lot of boob & butt and once his party starts showing up they take it as an opportunity to start hitting on BOTH of us.

So 12 of them get there in the midst of all of their middle-aged-pervert fuckery. Hour goes by, one of the dudes from the table comes up to me and says “there’s more of us coming, would you just push that table over there onto ours so we have more room?” I’m already pissed out of my mind, whatever dude. They all blatantly stare at my tits while I’m leaning over to open the leaf on the table I added.

More of them show up. One of them comes directly up to me, tells me his name, grabs my hands and rubs them telling me they’re cold while giving me the most uncomfortable prolonged eye contact. I’m like “haha yeah they’re always cold” *violently jerks my hands away*.

The server is losing his mind trying to get a DRINK ORDER out of all of these fucks. He can’t get their attention, they sit without drinks until they’re ALL there, which is literally over an hour. They finally pipe down, put in all of their food orders, and it all comes out.

My hot ass manager is setting down the food and they’re ogling her to the point that it is painfully obvious. Like gross dudes, what the fuck. She says “can I get you gentlemen anything else?” And the one says “I’d like a water. And a massage.” And she like visibly pukes in the back of her throat and walks away awkwardly laughing.

The whole time their table was there, they all made nasty comments, and various photos were taken with flash whenever my manager, me, or other waitstaff walked by. It’s hard to come out and accuse someone of being a creep like that, because there are small odds that they’re NOT taking creepshots…but dude. All signals pointed that direction.

Tl;dr pos guest stands around for 45 minutes until he decides to tell me there’s a large party coming in like right that moment. They sexually harass the staff all night and are a general pain in the ass to serve

anonymous asked:

After looking out the window and seeing my crush walk by on the street, my Customer Service(TM) smile turned into a genuine smile and a couple of people asked why I look so damn happy to be working in retail? 😂 They'll never know... 😊

Excellent Observation, Holmes

I used work at a burger and shake joint, where all our customers were either entitled to hell, condescending, impatient, or just downright rude. This particular regular was all of the above. My first interaction with this regular was a day or two when I got hired on. She sat at the counter, I approached her to take her order, and she proceeded to complain that she wanted to do a phone in carry out, but no one answered the phone. “So here I am.” Was her begrudging conclusion. I didn’t pay it much mind at the time, being the happy to serve newbie I was. So I apologized, and then put it in the system. She’s also very (heavy emphasis on very) particular about how she wanted her breakfast cooked. Now at the time, I was still figuring out the POS system, and tried to make the modifications through there. Whatever I couldn’t get in, I verbally relayed it to the cooks. She interrupted me to tell the cook how she wanted her food done, and then condescendingly said “You must be new here.” Of course, I just gave a short laugh and apologized. Because of my little mistake at breakfast, she didn’t come to the register to pay. Just left her money on the counter and left. There were no “thank you"s or "please"s throughout her dining experience, which, as I came later to find out, would be common with her. Jump ahead another few months, she comes in again. At the back of my mind, I’m dreading what will happen today with her. But I put on my best Customer Service smile and seat her at a booth with her friend. "We need this wiped off.” She says curtly as she looks down at the booth which had a few crumbs on its cushion. “Yes ma'am. I’ll fix that, I’ll be right back.” I went to go grab a damp cloth and wiped down the seat. “Now it’s wet.” At that point, I wanted to turn around and give her a “No fucking shit, Sherlock” look. She’d just asked me to wipe off the seat. No shit. It’s going to be damp, but the rag I used wasn’t sopping. So I grabbed a paper towel to wipe off the seat. There was just no satisfying this one. It was simply one snide remark after another. Or complaint just for the sake of complaining. TL;DR Woman has me wipe off a seat for her. Then immediately complains about how the seat is wet.

Originally posted by humorinrecovery