Y'all wtf here I was just having a nice little nap when all a sudden I'm dreaming of goddamn DRAUTOS lifting me onto a bed and going down on me like a starved man. I didn't ask for this. I didn't even like him! I just read a fic or two and said I wasn't gonna get sucked into his hell and now look at me. Practically wishing to go back to sleep just so we can continue THAT again. (I know it wasn't you're fault but damn son wtf how'd I get here???) Now if it were Ignis that's different...
We are still listening to helicopters rescuing people just a few neighborhoods over. After a 32hr shift, I was shocked to see water on the interstate. Two of our reservoirs are undergoing controlled releases, they are dangerously close to flowing over their dams. Harvey has destroyed a lot of Houston and the Gulf Coast…but the sight of these rescues restores hope! People as well as animals are being rescued and reunited. It really makes my heart smile❤️
You have gained a padawan hypa. Train me in the ways of Ignis thoting. I need your guidance
You must always show your love and appreciation for our lord and savior by showing him his value. It can either be through simple compliments such as, “Your shirt looks good on you but it would look better on the floor,” or “come up with a new recipe in my cooter, daddy”, or simply physically showering him with affection by reaching over and grabbing his jun-
Ignis: Cease and desist, you madwoman. Me: …what I do? Ignis: You are prattling nonsense and suggesting to an impressionable person extremely inappropriate ways of interacting with me. Me: Should I have told them to lick your collarbone first? I guess that’s better than going right for the D, my bad Ignis: *takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, nostrils flaring* Why not instruct them to bring gifts of Ebony, or a detailed cookbook, or- Me: Too SFW, I’m trash, so the D it is. Ignis: … why do I bother trying to talk sense into you? Me: I dunno, tbh