my college is haunted

An asshole roommate and "faulty" wifi.

It’s been a little bit since I posted some revenge, but I’ve reached far into my memory bank and remembered this little gem from my junior year of college. Like, A thieving roommate and a “haunted” xbox, this tale of revenge is similar in terms of exacting it with the use of technology.

I lived off-campus my junior year of college with two others. Roommate 1 was a jolly guy who had a good head on his shoulders. He was respectful, went to class, did his fair share of household chores, and was an overall pleasant human being and someone I still call a very good friend to this today. Roommate 2, well…where do I begin?

Roommate 2 was respectful to an extent, until becoming loud and aggressive with individuals he disagreed with. He never went to class, never cleaned (even though he was home 24/7), wasn’t really that pleasant, and is someone I’m glad I’ll never (hopefully) have to deal with again. I’d leave for class around 8am just to come back around 2pm to find him still asleep. Other times I’d come back and hear the blasts of lasers and the trademark swishing of a lightsaber which meant he was playing some online Star Wars game on his laptop all day. That fucking game. I don’t know why, but that piece of shit game made my blood boil. Maybe because it was old and his intensely focused enthusiasm on something so low-tech, insignificant, and underwhelming just pissed me off to no end.

The wretched stenches that permeated off of his body where vile and rank. He would go days without showering and the smells would linger like a bad case of syphilis mixed with space aids. He also had a fetish for interrupting me while I was busy studying just to ask stupid questions. He once asked me if the word “layer” as in “I baked a layer cake” was spelled the same way as “lair” as in “I’m Batman, look at my secret lair”. I could only put up with that for so long.

Lastly, he always stayed up late, since he never went to class, and would play that goddamn Star Wars game on full volume while screaming at the top of his lungs. Thankfully, my girlfriend at the time lived close by so I’d spend a few days a week there just so I wouldn’t have to deal with Roommate 2 and his antics. And yes, Roommate 1 and I had plenty reasonable talks with Roommate 2, but he didn’t care, even being at the ripe age of 26….

The straw the broke the camel’s back was when I had a BIG exam next morning for a class I was struggling in. My girlfriend was away at the time and Roommate 1 was at his girlfriend’s house. I had no choice but to bite the bullet and take the chance staying home and hoping for a good night’s sleep. I told Roommate 2 about my exam and to just be courteous while playing video games or whatever.

I lied down and fell asleep…

“Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew!!!!!” “Swish vrom vrom vrooom vroom vrooom!” “COME ON…..FUCKING KILL HIM…..YES…HAHAHAHAHA!”

I was awoken just a mere hour into my slumber to him playing that fucking game. I texted the asshole and told him to keep it down. He said ok and I went to bed…..nope.

This pattern continued until I finally got up at 4am to talk to him. I said what I had to say, he returned some passive aggressive comments since my other roommate wasn’t home, and I just went back in my room and studied more seeing how I wasn’t going to bed at all.

The time came; I took the test and failed.  I got home to be met with the usual horrid stench, complete squalor, and the sound of that fucking game.

I’d had it.

After doing some snooping around I found the username and passcode for my house’s wifi router (Roommate 1 had them in his room). I grinned ear to ear as I soon realized what I was going to do.

After class the next day , I went right home, walked immediately into my room, logged into the router and waited for Star Wars dick to emerge. I was never more excited for him to play that fucking game. I kept refreshing the page until I saw his computer was connected. I waited 10 minutes….then….boop! Restricted his internet access just like that. No more Star Wars for him.

You should have seen this guy plug and unplug the router. He was frantic. He couldn’t figure out what went wrong. He asked if I had internet and I obviously said no “It must be a faulty router…”. After an hour of euphoric payback , I turned it back on because unlike him, I had some school work to do and didn’t want my revenge to negatively affect me.

But I wasn’t done there.

Guess what went off every night at 11 pm? Yup.

Guess what stayed off everyday until 2pm? Yup.

Guess what was off when I left to be with my girlfriend for a few days? Or home for the weekend? Or when I just felt like it…? Yup.

I let Roommate 1 in on the revenge. We’d take turns controlling the wifi so if one of us wasn’t around, the other could continue without a hitch.

Roommate 2, being the complete moron that he was, never thought to actually call the internet provider. Being the complete narcissistic and delusional bastard he was, he got his Star Wars fix by playing it in the campus library. Who would have thought? He actually went there for something. I’m not sure how the ACTUAL students felt about that though….

For the remainder of that year, Roommate 1 and I continued fucking with wifi and he hadn’t the slightest clue. In fact, that made living there more livable since his time spent off-line was time spent on cleaning up and being a responsible human being.

“Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.” – Obi-Wan Kenobi

Should have took his advice, dick.

TL;DR: Awful roommate kept me up the night before a huge exam by loudly playing his stupid video game. I failed the exam and exacted my revenge by fucking with the wifi/router for the remainder of the year.

hoppskotch  asked:

Hey Bree! I checked your FAQ so I know I have a specific question. My college is very old and very haunted. Recently, two girls have been wandering around "ghost hunting" and disturbing the spirits to the point that previous non-believers are convinced that these girls upset the natural balance. They are now being haunted and harassed, but I don't want to banish these spirits because this is their home. Is there any "quelling" spells for upset spirits I can do? I want to make peace with them.

Unfortunately, this happens with a lot of so-called “ghost hunters.” They go in and stir things up and agitate the spirits and yell at them and act rudely in order to get a reaction they can document / scare themselves with. Then they leave, and they don’t apologize or say thank you or put things back in order.

Picture how mad you’d be if someone came into your house and acted this way and wrecked up the place. You’d be furious. You’d try to drive them out. And you’d be salty as fuck to anyone who visited unexpectedly for a good while. Human spirits aren’t very different in this regard, and it’s worse when there’s already an active haunting where any kind of intelligent activity is going on.

You can only really do so much yourself in situations like this. You can offer a little food or juice or alcohol to try to appease the spirits, to let them know that not everyone is an asshole, and that you hope things can return to a peaceful equilibrium. I’d also suggest putting some gentle protections in place around beds or sleeping quarters to help keep innocent bystanders out of the crossfire.

The very BEST scenario is to get the amateur spooksters to apologize and make the offering themselves, and then to cease their ghost-hunting activities unless they’re going to be MUCH more respectful of the resting dead. Or at least learn to clean up after themselves.

For more suggestions, you may want to talk to @ean-amhran or @theouijagirl.

(Reminder to readers that I am not a spirit worker and reserve the right to be very selective about what ghost-related questions I answer. Please do not ask me to diagnose whether your home is haunted or to interpret strange activity. Thank you!)

The Ghost in My Apartment

My apartment is pretty old. About 60 years old, I think, but my five roommates and I like it a lot. It’s pretty good.

Thing is, the carpet is really shaggy, and no matter how many times we vacuum, there is still hair in it. Also, we found a girl’s old student ID in the couch cushions, with the name Emily. Also one of our bathroom doors fell off it’s hinges. Also my roommate, @pocketramblr, occasionally feels a “ghost punch” to the gut. 

So our (mostly joking) conclusion is that we’re haunted by a ghost named Emily, who lives in our couch cushions, sheds on our carpet, rips doors off of hinges, and occasionally punches pocketramblr in the gut.

The other day we had some dudes over to watch TV with us, and we mentioned we had to get our door fixed. We ended up telling them about Emily.

At first, I thought they would laugh it off as a joke. But this is a Mormon university (BYU-I) and we know about the spiritual stuff here. Instead of laughing, or even tensing up, one of them leaned forward seriously and said, “You know, you have a couple priesthood holders here who can banish her for you, right?” 

THEY’RE JUST REGULAR 20-SOMETHING-YEAR-OLD DUDES. :) Makes me happy to be Mormon. 

haunted house

@notstandingstill-imlyinginwait
College!Au George Weasley X Reader

“George, how scary will this be?” you clung to his sleeve as you two began to navigate your way through the haunted house. Why in the hell had you agreed to go out with him? Especially with this is your first date? 

All you really knew about him was he was the cute guy from your English History class who had a tendency to sketch instead of paying any attention. 

Damn you, and your penchant for tall redheads!

You scowled upwards at him as you heard him begin to snicker, “Oh don’t worry Y/N, it won’t be too bad!”

George was lying just a tad. 

Or a lot. Most of his friends, Lee, Alicia, Katie, hell, even Fred worked here. He’d asked them to go a little harder on the two of you. You’d spoken in class about your inability to be scared by scary movies, something that George reckoned was a bit of an exaggeration. So for your first date, he wanted to test this theory out. 

“Besides, I thought you weren’t scared by most scary things.” he gave you a devious grin as you quickly released his sleeve and straightened up as you began to walk through the house. You had pride after all. 

You glanced a bit at him through the corner of your eye, and frowned as you heard him chuckle a bit, “I’m not scared. And I’ll show you.” 


“BLOODY HELL!” George’s voice echoed throughout the hallway as he quickly scattered behind you, while you let out a rather loud laugh. You’d been a tad startled, but George seemed to be thrown rather off by everything that was going on. 

You threw him a wink as  you led him to the next room, with him very close behind, “You can hold my hand if you’d like to, Georgie.” It was hard not to rub it in his face too much. This was a bit scary, you’d have to admit, but you were able to tell from George each time you were entering into a room with something scary in it. He tensed up and began to look around. “Your friends are here right? I think they might be trying to take the piss out of you.” 

Almost on cue, a zombie popped out from behind a false wall, causing both you and George to flinch back, though George screamed quite a bit louder than you did. As the zombie began to laugh, George straightened up to his full height, “Dammit Fred! This is not what we talked about!” 

“You asked us to make it extra scary, so we made it extra scary Georgie.” you looked between the zombie and George with an amused grin, “Extra scary eh?” 

George had the courtesy to look abashed, “You said you didn’t get scared easily so I asked them to ramp it up.” He scowled at his brother when the other twin began to snicker. “It didn’t go like I thought it would.” 

“Well, clearly.” you didn’t bother to keep your lips from twitching into a smile. This had been rather fun though. He was a lot more fun than you thought he’d be, and you’d already thought he’d be pretty fun to begin with. Very gently you grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the marked exit. “C’mon, let’s finish up then and grab something to eat. How’s that sound?” 

He grinned wide, surprised but delighted that his screaming throughout their date had somehow wooed you. “Sounds brilliant.” George placed a kiss to the corner of your mouth before winking at his brother, “See ya later, Freddie.” 

From another hiding spot right behind George a woman in a rather tattered dress popped out and grabbed him– resulting in another loud scream from your date. You recognized the girl from around campus, “Hey Alicia!” 

“Hey Y/N!” she smiled wide at you in amusement and continued to grin at George as he seemed to be trying to recover from his shock. “Have a good rest of your night, George!” 

George looked between his brother and friend with annoyance, and spoke with what only seemed to be half hearted disdain, “I hate both of you.” he cast a suspicious glance around the room before tugging your arm and leading you out the exit. 

“George if we wait long enough the rest of your friends can scare you again.” you spoke through your snickers, as you popped out of the exit into the twilight of the remaining day. 

He pressed a proper kiss to your lips this time, before folding your hand in his. “Please hush, and never speak of this again.” 

“No promises.” 

Let The Rain

Chapter 1          (next)

(Jungkook x Reader)

Warnings: suggestive scenarios, and cussing.


    College. The thing that had been haunting my dreams since I was young. My parents had been pestering me about college ever since I can remember, insisting I go and get a degree to make them proud. I didn’t know what I wanted to be, but I was incredibly smart, so I didn’t have to know. I had transferred to this college a few weeks in with a full ride scholarship, including a free dorm room. That wasn’t included, but the only open dorm was because the person who previously stayed there had just moved out. I wasn’t sure why someone would move out so so soon in the year, but I shrugged it off and decided it was just a coincidence. I had no idea it was because of the rather loud next door neighbor. And by loud, I meant the new girl he brought home every night that practically screamed his name. I had no idea what I was in for when I walked down the halls to my dorm room, pulling all my luggage behind me.

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Text: SaltMates
  • Rowan: Yoo Salt Queen, whatcha doing for Halloween?
  • Lanette: Stealing a bowl of peeled grapes from my college’s haunted house, and watching people make bad decisions.
  • Lanette: You?
  • Rowan: Sounds fun, but I think I'm doing something with Xander, Hunter and Margaret before breaking off to go clubbing
  • Rowan: BUT I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Motta Halloween thing that's happening and talk to shit about people while taking their free probably bad alcohol

drama-dragoness  asked:

I have reached my eighteenth year, and words like "adult" and "college" haunt my every step. I seek passage to the Birthday Unending, where I hope blood and glitter may soothe my fears of the worlds beyond this one. I bring a veritable mountain of stuffed animals to soothe the Birthday's nightmares, as well as a multitude of lovely costumes for dress-up purposes. These are my anchors to childhood, which I entrust to the Birthday, instead of trying to forget them.

WORDS ARE GHOSTS, IN THEIR WAY: THEY WILL HAUNT YOU.  SOME ARE BENIGN HAUNTINGS, WARNINGS OF THE WAY THE WORLD MUST GO.  THEY TELL YOU “IT IS TIME TO DO A THING, AND THE THING IS FRIGHTENING, BUT STILL ESSENTIAL."  THEY TELL YOU "TRY."  THEY TELL YOU "SUCCEED.”

OTHERS ARE CRUEL HAUNTINGS.  THEY MOCK AND BELITTLE AND PRY, AND THEY DO NOT FORGIVE, THEY DO NOT FORGET, AND WE CANNOT FORGET THEM.  WORDS ARE THE GREATEST GHOSTS OF ALL.  DO NOT BE AFRAID, BECAUSE YOU ARE HAUNTED; CALL UPON THE GHOSTS OF YOUR OWN HEART, AND HAUNT THEM BACK.

HERE IS YOUR SEAT AT THE TABLE.  HERE IS YOUR CONICAL HAT.  HERE IS A TABLE FOR YOUR PLUSH COMPANIONS, WITH CHAIRS TO FIT THEM, AND PLUSH CAKE AND CROCHET TEA FOR THEM TO ENJOY.  THEY WILL BE SAFE HERE.  ALWAYS.

WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY.  WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY.  WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY UNENDING.